Yes, I bribe my children, but I follow a strict set of rules.
I remember reading a parenting book shortly after toilet training my son and it warned parents against bribing their kids because it sets a dangerous precedent. Like giving my son a fun size Milky Way every time he did a number 2 on the toilet instead of in his nappy in those first few difficult weeks would see him becoming a sloven, lazy, worthless, good-for-nothing adult.
They were just Milky Ways.
I confess that I bribe all my children all the time. And so do most parents. Those who say they don’t are lying, or they don’t understand what bribing is.
Bribing a child can include the following:
Giving them a treat for good behaviour which includes sticker and stamp charts;
Paying them money for doing chores;
Threatening them with punishment for misbehaviour;
Any time you praise them.
Because it's the reward or the promise of a reward that motivates their behaviour. The reward can be treats, stickers, stamps, money, the absence of punishment and even praise.
Still think you don't bribe them?
So, I bribe my kids all the time. But there are rules. And if you don't stick to the rules the bribes stop working.
Here is the strict set of guidelines I follow so my parental bribery works to maximum effect, thereby making my parenting experience more pleasant.
1. The bribe is a last resort. Try reasoning first without any reward attached. This has worked twice in ten years;
2. Set up sticker and stamp charts as a regular bribery system over food and money;
3. If you do offer treats for good behaviour, NEVER give them the treat if they don't do what you needed them to do;
4. Make sure the treat is small;
5. Always agree beforehand on the bribe and don't allow last-minute re-negotiations;
6. Don't call them bribes. Call them 'rewards'.
Do you bribe/reward your kids? Are there any rules you'd like to add to this list?
Like this? Then try:
The 7 worst pieces of parenting advice I have ever been given.
The 5 parenting 'rules' that should be ignored or laughed at.