By LUCY ORMONDE
Howdy, kids.
Happy Friday. For those of you who are new to the Mamamia website and who have never read a Best & Worst post before, here’s what you need to know.
Best & Worst is the like Friday hangout; it’s kind of like a mix between dinner with your family and a catch up with friends and it’s where we gather to share the highs and lows of our weeks.
It’s my turn to host this week and I’m going to keep it short and sweet because I’m running late to catch a flight to Melbourne.
Best #1: Tomorrow night I’m going to see the beautiful Clare Bowditch play. Can’t wait.
Best #2: This week, I went along with Mamamia publisher Mia Freedman when she went to Kirribilli House to interview Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd. There was a moment when we were all sitting outside drinking tea and eating lamingtons where I kind of had to blink a few times to remind myself that HOLY SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING.
Worst: Patrick.
How about you? What’s happening in your world?
This week Mamamia showcased some brilliant Smart Solutions for your wardrobe to make your life a million times easier. You can watch the video here and see the gallery of tips below. Thanks to the all new Kia Rondo.
Top Comments
Last week I posted how I was struggling after the news my sister is pregnant, after years of trying and miscarriages myself. It has been hard. Really hard.
I still struggle with the concept of maybe never being a mother, and what would my life purpose be? I cannot begin to tell you the feeling of hopelessness that envelopes me when I think about it. I KNOW deep down that the sole reason I live my life is to one day be someone's mother. Imagine if you had a clear purpose in your mind of your life and it can never be fulfilled.
Anyway, I cried constantly. Waking up and driving to work, in the car ride home, in the shower, in bed before falling asleep. It has only been the last two days that the crying has stopped, and the thoughts urging me to cut myself to relieve some of the pressure inside me has gone.
I just wanted to say thank you to those who listened last week.
Dear no point, I was one of the commenters last week and I suggested that you find a counsellor who specialises in infertility issues. Now that you have hit rock bottom and are on the way up (without cutting - yay!) now is the time to find someone who can help. Now you are thinking more clearly, now is the time. Sorry if I seem to be pushing this a bit much, but you wrote so eloquently I couldn't help but respond, and I've been thinking about you all week. Very happy that you have posted again, and maybe it's time to change your name?! There is always a point!
Thanks GreenApple. I have looked up a few places but just need to work up the courage. It is really hard to speak aloud to someone about it.... just seeing the response from some people when I voiced it through words was enough to invalidate my feelings and scare me from talking to a person face to face about it.
I just can't bear feeling this way forever.
What a waste of life and time that would be.
I've been in the same deep, deep hole as you. Counselling with someone who dealt with infertility really did help me and showed me that I can still live a rich, meaningful life regardless of whether kids will be a part of it or not. This doesn't mean I will stop trying for a baby, it just means that I live in the now, not panicking about the future and putting my life on hold because I knew another round of ivf was coming up which i have done for years. It is a very hard road to travel and hard to dig yourself out of the constant sadness, but it is so worth it when you do. I truly wish you all the best. Probably a dumb question but are you seeing a fertility specialist? I shopped around a bit and found one I love who has helped me immensely.
GreenApple is right, a councillor will never judge you and they've heard it all before! You won't shock them, trust me. Just giving voice to your despair and having your feelings validated might be enough to clear the fog and let the sunshine in.
Please don't waste the love you have to give. As a mother and foster mum, I can tell you that DNA has no affect on the depth of love that you and a child can feel for each other.
Ring Barnados or another organisation on Monday and tell them you're interested in permanent placements. It will be THE defining moment of your life, with challenges and rewards beyond your wildest expectations.
There is nothing unnatural about your feelings. You're grieving a loss that most women can relate to. My heart goes out to you but I know in my bones that you've been chosen for something special!
Give yourself a name. We'll be here cheering you on as you navigate the beginning of the rest of your life xx
I went for my flight centre interview- wish me luck!
Awesome jewellery on that cork board :)