Natalie Joyce feels “deceived and hurt”.
The estranged wife of Australian Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has shared her sadness in the wake of news her husband of 24 years, and the father of her four daughters, is expecting a child with his current partner and former media advisor, 33-year-old Vikki Campion.
“This situation is devastating on many fronts,” she said, in a statement published by The Australian. “For my girls who are affected by the family breakdown and for me as a wife… who placed my own career on hold to support Barnaby through his political life.”
Natalie said her family life had been extensively shared during her husband’s career, and campaign and office staff were often invited into their home – a reality that left her feeling “deceived” by the actions of Barnaby and Campion.
She added that she was “deeply saddened” to hear that “this affair has been going on for many months and started when [Ms Campion] was a paid employee”.
How must that feel? To give up so much – to put another person’s ambition before your own – only to be bitterly disappointed by the person you sacrificed it for?
Listen: Jessie Stephens and Mia Freedman discuss all things Barnaby Joyce – including his new partner, his wife’s comments and the hypocrisy of it all. Post continues after audio.
Natalie Joyce met Barnaby while she was studying education at the University of New England, and went on to marry him just a few years after graduating, in 1993. Today, she’s listed as a student support teacher at McCarthy Catholic College in Tamworth, although it was reported in 2009 that at one point, she worked as a part-time administrative officer within her husband’s office.
Over the last 24 years, Natalie Joyce has no doubt tried to make the best decisions she could for herself, her family, and her marriage. Her profound personal sacrifice, I’m sure, may have at times felt less like a decision and more like a duty.
In 2017, Natalie told the Weekend Australian about the toll her husband’s career had taken on their family. She said her youngest daughter Odette, now 15, has never known “anything but politics”.
“Every time he’d come home she actually wouldn’t go near him because he hadn’t been home,” she recalled of Odette’s early years. “It’s taken a long time to get that father-daughter rapport.”
“In the end they give up on you. They just don’t think you’re going to be there,” Joyce added of the strain.
Perhaps Natalie imagined that while her husband’s political career would be at the centre of their family unit for a significant portion of their lives – it wouldn’t be forever. As their daughter’s grew up, and Barnaby’s career ran its course, they’d have time together again, and work wouldn’t always come first.
Perhaps she had hopes for the future of her family – ones that didn’t involve her husband leaving and starting a new one.
But ultimately, and especially today, she was left bitterly disappointed.
And she's not alone. Because, overwhelmingly, it's the woman in a relationship who makes the sacrifice, and none of us, no matter how in love, how dedicated, or how certain, can predict the future.
In September 2016, a story not unlike today's was making front page news. Today Show host Karl Stefanovic had separated from his wife of 21 years, Cass Thorburn, and just months later, he would make public his relationship with 34-year-old Jasmine Yarbrough.
The couple had three children together, and Stefanovic had spoken at length about the sacrifices his wife had made for his career. “She gave up a promising career at the ABC and I’m forever thankful and tremendously appreciative of that,” he told the Herald Sun in 2015.
When the Today Show won the ratings year in 2016, Thorburn made a point on congratulating herself for her contribution to her husband's success. "Apparently Today Show finally won a year," she wrote on Facebook. "This took a huge toll on my family and I, and I’m congratulating myself today for all the effort that went into making that happen."
But for Thorburn, there was no champagne, no accolades, and no pay rise. There was no party or job opportunities. Because such recognition was intertwined with her marriage - the one she had sacrificed her own professional life for. And the one that had broken, despite that investment.
We all know, or perhaps are, women who have given up the pursuit of a career for the benefit of relationships, marriages or kids. For some women, the break down of that partnership can be irreperably destructive - financially or psychologically.
To give up work for a partner is not a decision that can be ever be judged in terms of whether it's fair or right, especially given that it is overwhelmingly a choice a person makes out of love. And if and when that relationship does end, pity isn't a helpful response.
It is, however, important to acknowledge those women, whose achievements might not be seen in the halls of Parliament House or within the walls of a major TV network.
We see you. We see your work, your support, your morning well wishes and your wise afternoon conversations. And on days like today, we see your pain, and we see your sadness.
We see your strength.
Because sacrifice is never easy.
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Top Comments
Thank you so very much for acknowledging us, the silent ones, who in many ways remain silenced as the profound grief and pain we are living through is not palatable for most.
This blog and much that I hear and read shows our ignorance on infidelity and in many cases it’s traunatic impact on others.
Many will find it hard to believe but you can be in a regular solid marriage , and it can happen. It happened to us.
Myself, our children, friends and family were in shock, in my case for months.
I was one of those mums who stayed at home , although working part time in jobs that allowed for flexibility . My husband travelled the world for most of his career and because it was so very important to him I didn’t feel I had the right as a loving and supportive partner to say : enough. Although he did try to cut back, and each new job would apparently require less travel but it never actually happened. He felt important and special as he climbed the corporate ladder but at home he was just a husband and father who was absent a lot - in mind and body. No special attention here. Just resentment at selfish choices. I was probably. “ the nagger’ as someone labeled Thorburn.
And then my husband office closed, he was unhappily working from home when not traveling. This allowed a secret relationship with a junior work colleague to flourish. And his redundancy was around the corner, his identity was threatened, he felt unfulfilled........and never said a thing.
And we are left while they feel entitled to their quest for a soulmate. They really think they deserve it. And how they can turn away from their kids. They are hurting. Our family is now broken.
Deceit, selfishness, cowardice, adolescent regression cannot be compartmentaised. This must surely flow into their work.
Did Barnaby not see this?
I have sacrificed my career to support my husbands. I haven’t left my job altogether but I work on a locum basis (health professional). If push came to shove I believe I could pick up my career again to support myself and my children. However, if I was working in it full steam ahead right now I know I would be in a much higher, much better paid position. The decision to stay mostly at home wasn’t expected of me but it made the most sense as my husband was earning 3 times as much money plus other benefits. I believe many in my position would have made a similar decision. I love my partner but I’m not an idiot, at the end of the day I know that we all must be able to support ourselves and although I know it won’t happen, it would be naive of me to think it could never happen (that my partner could leave). What I tell myself is that the time I have been able to spend with my kids while they’re young is something i could never regret and if suddenly I found myself alone, I would probably resent my husband but at the same time I would be content knowing that the time I had with my children was invaluable and I think that would get me through.