We all know social media makes us feel bad about ourselves.
That’s not to say it doesn’t make us feel good too (racking up Facebook likes is a great way to bolster your sense of self-worth #justsayin), but there’s something about an infinite scroll of people doing things you’re not that can really leave you feeling inadequate.
Christ that sandwich is well-stacked, I’ll think as I look at a perfectly balanced BLT.
Or ugh, she is nailing those angles — why are my bloody ears so small?
Or where do you even find a mountain that’s upside-down on top of a stream of rainbows populated by ducks who speak Elfish? I guess I’ll spend my day off at the supermarket again… etc.
I’m sure for the most part people don’t mean to do it either.
I certainly wouldn’t begrudge someone for owning a particularly photogenic dachshund or taking pride in their amazing selfies.
But there are those prolific social media users (celebrities and jerks, mostly) whose hashtags are not so much humble-brags as straight up just brags, designed to make you feel a whole lot shittier about your day.
These are the hashtags I wish didn’t exist because they are basically just the social media equivalent of sticking your tongue out at someone and going ‘naa na na naa naa’.
1. #mylifeisyourholiday
I was only introduced to this hashtag today. It’s for people who live those idyllic lives as ski instructors or beach side yoga teachers. It’s so they can post a picture of their life as a ski instructor or beach side yoga teacher and make you feel bad about about your life as an oppressed office worker or mail room clerk.
Like this:
A photo posted by CharleySDG (@charleysdg) on Jun 16, 2013 at 12:48am PDT
I think we can all agree this girl’s workplace needs a better OH&S policy.
2. #fromwhereyoudratherbe
This is very similar aesthetically to #mylifeisyourholiday, but less specific. It’s for when you unchain yourself from your desk and go to the beach and then post a smug picture of your legs against a rolling horizon. It’s used by jerks whose holidays look like Corona ads.
A photo posted by Alana (@howdyrowdy) on Oct 4, 2015 at 8:51pm PDT
I hate you.
3. #foodporn
Why do people think that other people want to see pictures of food they won’t be eating? No, I don’t want to be reminded that somewhere there exists a nutella-donut-milkshake-cronut I’m not going to be eating. Unless you are a food blogger keep it to yourself.
A photo posted by Alana Dimou (@alanadimou) on Aug 17, 2015 at 3:16am PDT
4. #nofilter
I don’t really know if this is to prove you are a better smartphone photographer, or that you look even better el naturale. Either way it’s bloody smug.
A photo posted by Kerry Washington (@kerrywashington) on Oct 4, 2015 at 6:16pm PDT
I get it, you’re hotter than me. Uggghhhh — those cheekbones.
5. #gymlife/#gymselfie/anything #gym related
When people go to the gym and are like ‘oh god, I almost didn’t have enough #fitspiration to go to the #gym today but now I’m so glad I did because something about me being #skinny and #fit and #motivated and cooking #chicken for dinner #whathaveyouevendonetodaygod’.
A photo posted by Rebecca Judd (@becjudd) on Aug 31, 2015 at 3:12pm PDT
“Do you even own leggings?” — Bec Judd, probably.
6. #blessed
Let’s face it, #blessed is as close as you can come to #bragging. The word ‘blessed’ means to be consecrated by a divine being of some kind; smiled upon by God. Did God decide you deserved that avocado on toast? Did he give you that smartphone? Didn’t think so.
7. #squad
Friendship is the best. Female-friendship, especially so. But there is something very Mean Girls about hashtagging pictures of your friends #squad… Mostly, it says: “You’re not in it.”
A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Aug 31, 2015 at 1:32pm PDT
8. #cleanliving/#eatclean
The clean living phenomenon is just another not-so-subtle reminder that you probably didn’t do a good enough job today. What even is clean food? Unless you picked it up off the floor, your food is clean enough IMO.