A sexuality expert has been forced to publicly defend comments she made in an interview with the ABC this week, encouraging parents to ask their children for consent before changing their nappies.
Deanne Carson, a sexuality educator, speaker, and author, was being interviewed on the ABC after Four Corners‘ interview with Saxon Mullins, the woman at the centre of the Luke Lazurus case.
While on the program, Carson said in her work, she teaches parents how to foster a “culture of consent” in the home from “birth”.
To do so, Carson suggested parents ask their babies questions like ‘I’m going to change your nappy now, is that okay?”
While Carson acknowledged a baby isn’t going to verbally respond, they are still learning, from a very young age, the agency they have in any given scenario.
“Of course a baby is not going to respond ‘yes mum, that is awesome, I’d love to have my nappy changed’,” she said.
“But if you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact then you are letting that child know that their response matters.”
Watch the comments made on the ABC here. Post continues after video.
Soon after, Carson’s interview was the subject of discussion Sky News Australia’s Outsiders show, with Spectator editor Rowan Dean deeming the comments as “leftie lunacy”.
The subsequent criticism that saturated social media in the wake of her interview forced Carson to defend, and give greater context, around her comments.
“I gave an interview the other day about teaching consent to young children. It was in response to the Four Corners episode featuring the incredibly courageous Saxon Mullins,” she wrote on Facebook.
“Sadly, some people have chosen to ridicule me (oh no! Pink hair! Must be a lesbian!) and the notion of giving infants bodily autonomy (poo in nappies har har amiright?!) .
“For those people I’m posting this.
“One in three girls, one in seven boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are eighteen years old. One in twelve girls will be sexually abused before their sixth birthday.
“The work we do with children, teachers and parents is international best practice in abuse prevention. It teaches children their rights AND their responsibilities and connects them with people who care and can help. It invites their parents into the discussion and is sensitive to cultural and family values.”
Carson went on to say those who “troll” her must remember they are “negating the voices of these brave survivors of sexual abuse”.
Top Comments
Hilarious. If I waited for one of my twins to grant me permission to change his nappy, he’d be happily stewing in his own poo juices for days! He also regularly eats sand, against my advice, so his grainy poo would wear all his bum skin away. Yeah premium advice. If this person wants to be taken seriously on a clearly important matter she should ditch the pink hair, because quite frankly most people don’t take adults with tween hair styles seriously, furthermore ditch the unrealistic (ignorant) advice (I can only assume she doesn’t have her own kids because this advice is whack) and understand your audience. Child molesters are going to condition children, not ask permission to change them so even if all the regular parents asked permission to change nappies, how is this helping? I teach my 3 boys about private parts and no one should ever touch them ( except nappy change/ medical issues, with persmission) or make them feel bad/ weird or funny or hurt them. I never make them show affection to anyone unless they want to etc. However if I have to change them, dress them, wash their hands, get them in the bath ( my twins are at that wonderful age where they hate baths) stop them running across the road/eating soap/picking up bull ants/sticking pencils in their ears......then I will use the force. If I had to wait for consent for everything I need to do with my 3 boys (5 and under) to ensure basic hygiene, nutrition and day to day activities....well my husband and i would have been committed for mental health issues a long time ago, and they would be in foster care, which would increase their chances of being molested.
Best response ever.
I actually do understand where she's coming from but of course she was always going to be misunderstood by the general public.
WE never would create an unacceptable home landscape around children but there are plenty of creeps who would.
Sometimes it's a bit subtle but there are people who expose their little kids to sexualised behavior and abusive language.
Nappy changing and toilet training can be a daily assault on toddlers by these people but not recognized by onlookers because it's not blatant.
Presuming that a child is insensitive to these behaviors is at the heart of this "educators" fears.
I couldn't articulate it at the time but a relative's "no harm intended" comments of "rudie nudie" and "ducks are gonna' get cha' " to a toddler in his underwear used to really bother me - we've all heard this stuff.
I'm also horrified by the behavior of shitty old people when confronted with even the most modest breastfeeding.
I see them as corrupt and trying to impose their unhealthy views on to something innocent.
This nappy-changing thing could be an unwholesome thing in the lives of some kids.
It just depends on how respectful adults are towards their naked , vulnerable impressionable children.