There is nothing good about the Ashley Madison situation.
On the one hand, you have hundreds of thousands of devastated partners who have just searched a database and discovered their loving husbands/wives had signed up to a website for cheaters.
On the other hand, you have the 32 million dirty, dirty cheaters (sorry, will try and be diplomatic from now on) who have had their privacy violated by hackers.
On the third (?) hand, you have the hackers who tried to ‘do the right thing’ by demanding this dirty, nasty website (sorry, DIPLOMATIC… I forgot) be taken down, or they’d release the information they hacked.
And finally, you have the fact that the hackers actually broke the law when they stole the private information, and they should probably be punished along with all the filthy, awful cheaters (I give up).
The released information is devastating for millions of families. Not to mention the 800 Australian government email addresses that have ‘somehow’ been included in the hacked data – including regional councillors and government officials.
The whole thing is tricky. It’s horrible. And I discovered just how disturbing the website was earlier this year, when I tried to sign up.
Before you start calling me a dirty cheater, I was only doing it for research. FOR REAL. We had seen the ads for Ashley Madison, and I went through the sign-up process to see what the process was, with intentions to write an article about the kinds of people on there.
But I never actually completed my profile, because something so ridiculous and disgusting and amusing happened as I was signing up, I didn’t even need to complete the process before I had an article to write.
There were so many user names, it took me ten minutes to find an unused one.
It was the saddest, silliest thing. I had to laugh to keep from crying.
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I TRIED TO SIGN UP TO ASHLEY MADISON:
To start with, I was thinking of what someone in this situation might write.
But clearly, that name was taken. So I tried some other saddish names.
But still no luck. Too many sad people on Ashley Madison, evidently.
Other people had experienced this problem, evidently. Keep trying.
So I tried the longest word I know. Surely, that would work.
I was getting frustrated.
(I’d kind of like to meet that guy.)
That was an interesting response. No dirty names. Also surprising that I hadn’t tried one up until now. Maybe I’ll try a pseudonym.
Oh no! Not you, George! Don’t tell Amal. Or Prince Phillip:
And then it happened:
GRAN! NOT YOU TOO! I was defeated.
So I tried a new tactic. I named three random items on my desk.
And finally, I had a username.
It may have been a funny moment, but in truth, this website is a disgrace. Of course, it’s a free country and people should be allowed to make their own choices and blah bah freedom etc. But if you don’t want to be with your partner, don’t be with them. Websites like Ashley Madison are facilitating a disgusting world of lies and hurt.
If your partners name is on that leaked list, I am so sorry. I can only hope that, like ApplePenRemoteControl, they never had intentions to cheat.
And if you are one of the cheaters who has had your details leaked; well, I’m sorry I have to say it… but kharma is a bitch.
Read more:
Today, the Ashley Madison hackers released the names of a whole lot of cheaters.
10 suburbs in each state where people are most likely to cheat.
Top Comments
I signed up on AM once. When dating I would do a little research on the fella's I had met on another, well established normal dating site. It was funny. A couple of times I actually found the same fella's on the normal date site also on the AM site. I figured They were either married and on every dating site, or just a dog that no matter what dating site they had met someone on or even met the old fashion way, at work, a club or church, they were a sneak cheat. Needless to say, I never went out with those fella's. If it was that easy for me, a stranger to find them on there, years ago before the hack, you gotta wonder why more wives or husbands didn't just go on and check if there was reason to be suspicious. I just did it to find out what kind of character a potential date might have. Now I am sure there were plenty that were creative and used different user names and email addresses. So I could have gone out with someone hunting on the sneaky hook up site and not known, but how could anyone, male or female think that site was a foolproof way to sneak cheat and never get caught? I don't get it. My quasi email address is on the leak list. A made up one for researching backgrounds on people I didn't know other than their online persona's. So yes my fake email address is there, as a signed up person and not a member. So you gotta wonder, how many more were just like me, just checking?
Maybe you could also have mentioned that anyone could use any email they wanted whether it be false or someone else s. That there is now private personal information out there which could be used to not only scam the person but innocent people as well.
Why people need to be on this site when married is obscene however people who were not married and people such as yourself (if you had been successful) have been caught out in this illegal activity. So while many will say serves you right there may also some (probably not many) who will be seen as guilty for no other reason than someone else used their email address and these hackers do not have the right to play judge..
I signed up last Dec at xmas and was on the site for week. The only reason being was to see if I could find my husband on there. He had just told me in sept that the marriage was over a long time ago and I hadn't noticed. He denied that there was anyone else involved. I discovered that there was someone else involved in early Dec for the previous 10 months and I was left devastated. She didn't live local, she is over 2 hours away from him and had no connection to any family or friends or his work . He didn't go out an in the evenings to any bars or clubs either. I therefore suspected that he had been using dating websites such as plenty of fish and ok cupid as they had come up on his lap top in previous years but he always denied ever going on those site. My son also had seen him looking at pictures and profiles of women on his phone and wanted to know what daddy was doing. He had also put passwords up on his computer and his phone early last year and was very protective in leaving them alone or open. Last sept he went crazy at me when I went onto his computer and we had a major row and told me he no longer wanted the marriage. I wanted to go through it as I suspected he was hiding something from me. He would also get angry if I ever asked to use his mobile last year despite previously encouraging me to use it. Anyway I wish I had gone on the site earlier. It was a major eye opener for me on the psychology of men and their need for sex, excitement and wanting to feel desired. To feel like they were attractive and wanted which boosted their ego. I also discovered how naive and blind I was to the signs of a cheating husband. If I had been on this site earlier I would have recognised these signs in my husband's behaviour. I had many online conversations with some of these men and asked lots of question about how, why, when and where. How did they hide their indiscretions and get away with it. I found that men on the site ranged from desperate for sex to the extremely lonely, unhappy and unsatisfied. Selfish men, greedy men who wanted more than one women at a time, men who loved their wives and family but felt that "something was missing " men who we're bored in their marriage, men whose wives libido didn't match theirs. Men who wives were too tired for sex because they had small children. Men whose wives were chronically ill and couldn't physically have sex ..men who didn't love their wives but stayed for the kids. men who were serial cheaters. There was also many men who had never cheated but we're unhappy with their sex life and resented their wives for it. I think many never went the whole way. I learnt that there is a wide range of reasons why men cheat and the type of man that was on the site varied greatly. Most common reason was they wanted excitement and passion in their lives. Difficult to do when you have been married for over 10 years and have kids, work and routine bringing u down. Other reason was that their wives didn't pay them enough attention. I heard it all. I guess I didn't pay enough attention to my husband either and got caught up in the needs of my kids, work and other mundane boring things. I was the boring cranky ungrateful wife to him but the other women was new , exciting , fun and flawless. That feeling u get when u are with someone new it's called hormones. Those feel good endorphins that u feel wear off after a while and fantasy becomes reality and then these cheating men go on to the next new women that comes along.