If all women had wives, would life be easier?
It was the point that Annabel Crabb made to perfect in 2015, in her best-selling book The Wife Drought.
“What we’re really meaning by that,” the Fairfax and ABC journalist, and host of Kitchen Cabinet host says, “is ‘if only it was somebody else’s responsibility to pick up all this stuff’. The stuff that drives you crazy in the end is not having a family, which is the most lovely thing ever, and it’s not having a job, which is fulfilling in other ways.”
“It’s when the two of them are in constant yammering competition.”
And that is the dilemma so many women face. But as Annabel points out, the fault is not in choosing one over the other, it is in holding one above the other- in “assign[ing] a value to either of those pursuits.”
So how does Crabb pursue three children, a career in political journalism, writing non-fiction and hosting a cookery-meets-politics television show?
With about 81263 cups of tea for a start.
She starts the day with one, “I will probably have three more before the school run. I hammer them down. I don’t drink coffee, coffee makes me anxious, but I drink a lot of tea.”
Your maths is correct. That’s four cups of the good stuff before school drop-off.
Where do you find peace and quiet in a busy day? How do you find a moment to just stop, and soak in all the necessary information that’s going to help you get through the next day? In the car maybe, the garden or the gym?
The shower.
“Quite often I’ll have a cup of tea next to the shower and I’ll be banging that down while I’m washing because multitasking is the secret.”
But her tea drinking and bathing routine are about all that are consistent in Annabel Crabb’s life.
“I work from home sometimes,” she told Sarah MacDonald on I Don’t Know How She Does It. “I work from the ABC when I’m in the studio. I do a lot of writing. I sort of time shift my work as well. Often I do a lot of writing when the kids go back to bed and that’s kind of nice and quiet. That allows me to do the school pick up if that’s required.”
No two days are the same?
“Nope. And sometimes I’ll be traveling as well.”
Hear more of how Annabel manages three children with her excellent career, here:
Top Comments
I love Annabel Crabb, The Wife Drought is such a great book. My husband and I have 2 children, and both work part time, and flexibly when we can. We share the carers leave and domestic chores. And from talking to girlfriends and workmates, we are definitely in the minority.
That's exactly what I have proposed on numerous occasions but no one on this site seems to believe in equality.
Financially you are better off since you have TWO tax free thresholds on earnings and TWO super accounts etc.
It's a much better arrangement for ALL concerned including the kids. But females seem to want to stay home and whinge that the man doesn't do enough housework.
That hasn't been my experience on this site at all.
Pray tell, what has been your experience?
So are you saying that females on this site expect to do ALL the housework if they are not working and he is?
I don't think that's the case at all. I know that when I was the stay at home parent, I certainly felt a greater responsibility to do more housework (though that absolutely was not the expectation of my husband), and my husband said he also felt like that when he was the stay at home parent too, even though we both agreed that the role of the parent at home was to keep the kids alive through the day, and everything else was (and is) a joint responsibility.
Ignoring your snotty tone, my experience on this site is that everyone is just doing the best they can. For me that is splitting it with my husband. For others than means being a stay at home parent, or a studying parent, or a FIFO parent.
I absolutely agree that more dads should take parental leave if they can - not just for financial or tax reasons, or in support of their wife's career, but for the benefit of their kids and learning the joy and frustration and relentlessness of full time parenting. Sadly, even in 2016 (or for us 2012 and 2014) most men wouldn't even consider taking an extended career break to be home with the kids. It's just not in their radar.
200 cups of tea, 81263 or only 4?!