Today, I have a new reason to love Amy Schumer even more.
With beautiful trademark honesty, in an interview with Marie Claire, she’s revealed her first sexual experience wasn’t consensual.
The realisation only dawned on her, she says, when she was reading over old journals, working on her memoir.
“My first sexual experience was not a good one,” she says in the interview. “When it happened, I wrote about it almost like a throwaway. It was like, and then I looked down and realised he was inside me.’ He was saying, ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘I can’t believe I did this.’”
When asked whether she would like to punish the man she replies no, “this was 17 years ago” and he’s no longer in her life.
I choose to peek at my past and see how much stronger, wiser and kinder it has made me. I recognise signs, red flags and warnings in relationships and know without doubt that toxic relationships don’t have happy endings. If you’re in one and think it will change, please get out. The world is sunnier elsewhere, I promise.
I choose to focus on my life and my growth rather than becoming consumed in darkness, even when that’s a million miles from easy.
I don’t dwell on the past because I don’t live there any more. It’s not my home because there’s no warmth there. I live with purpose and with passion in my heart. I set myself goals and pursue them with every ounce of my being, even if they’re small. I challenge myself to be better, more compassionate and stronger.
When I’m frustrated, haunted or drowning in fear, I storm along the beach kicking sand in my path – but I do no harm.
I fire people from my life who thrive on negativity because I have no interest in residing in that bleak void. Instead, I have positive influences around me who have a hand gently supporting my back, pushing me forwards rather than letting me stumble or drift backwards.
I’m grateful for all I have experienced because it’s made me stronger.
It’s because I have lived in darkness that I can find immense joy in the smallest things. I dance, I sing, I laugh until I shake – I’m doing okay.
I will never be a victim. No damn way.
If you’re experiencing sexual assault or domestic or family violence, call the 1800 RESPECT 24-hour national helpline on 1800 737 732.
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Top Comments
I applaud your happiness and pursuit of defining your own life. May I add, please, Your speaking out to help others needs to be respectful for how others want to see their stories told. Just like you don't like the word victim, please respect that others don't see it in the way you do. Self help is awesome, empowering affirmations are wonderful too, but if you are role modelling be mindful that not everyone will use the same words you do, they too are positive, empowered, not defined by their past. My view is coming from women who say they want people to listen to their stories without having to remember the current buzz words, we all have different ways of expressing ourselves.
It's weird, I had a boyfriend back in 2004-2006, when I was around 21, and he was violent and verbally abusive, but I only truly realised that recently.
My friends witnessed him shout at me all the time, sexually assault me and once threw a wine glass at my feet, which the shards cut up my legs.
I moved over the other side of the world with him, and this made things worse. The abuse was awful, mostly when he was drunk and he would never remember the next day. After he kicked me in the stomach and I flew across the room I knew I had to leave. It still took me 4 months after that, and a new man, to "save me" from him.
I told people what he had done, they had seen things themselves. But because he was the funny, charismatic type, it seemed he could get away with anything. I have told these stories numerous times, but only truly acknowledged it to myself properly now.
I'm not sure why.
But I get what Amy is saying.
Anyway...just wanted to write it down xx