By KATE LEAVER
This is what bravery looks like.
A mother who refuses to stay quiet when her baby girl is savagely bullied. A mother who wants all kids to go to school without fear. A mother who makes the decision to tell her daughter’s traumatic story on national television.
On tonight’s episode of A Current Affair, mother Julie* told host Tracey Grimshaw about her daughter Sarah*, who has been the victim of relentless bullying and assault at her high school.
The bullying Sarah experienced culminated in a particularly heinous incident, when she was strapped to a tree in her school playground with a thick garden hose. While she was tried to the tree, several slightly older male students pulled their pants down, taunted her, and rubbed themselves against her, while other students watched on.
She was humiliated, scared, and despite being the victim, abused mercilessly on social media.
Mamamia readers might remember this story. We reported on it in July when Julie called the Mamamia office to talk us through what had happened to her daughter.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS GIRL WHEN SHE WAS 14 IS CHILLING.
When I first spoke to Julie, she told me that Sarah had tried to take her own life. She said her daughter wanted to die of shame. Julie vowed to keep speaking about that experience until police, parents, teachers, students, and journalists took bullying seriously.
That’s what she’s doing now. That’s why she was on your television tonight, with her incredibly strong daughter Sarah, telling the truth about what happened that day in the school playground. Because it’s only by coming forward and demanding change that we can stop girls like Sarah from being abused.
Obviously, I’m not suggesting that every parent do a tell-all interview with one of the country’s most prominent journalists. But I do think it’s important we look at what Julie has done here, and replicate that courage. In talking about the abuse her daughter experience, she’s stripped it of shame and forced that feeling back where it belongs: With the bullies.
Julie and I have stayed in touch since the morning she called the Mamamia office, distraught and desperate for someone to listen. We spoke again this afternoon and, as usual, I was floored by her strength.
“I will not and I cannot tolerate this happening in our schools, to our kids. I can’t stay quiet, I refuse to let people abuse me and abuse my daughter,” she tells me. “That’s why I’m trying to develop an app for kids to safely report bullying. My aim is to help kids as young as 8 and 12, to give them the tools to report what’s happening to them, and stop bullying before it gets as bad as it did for my daughter.”
Here’s the most important part of this story: Julie isn’t speaking up for her daughter’s sake. She’s doing it for yours.
We all talk about how we need to stop bullying, how utterly harrowing it can be for teenagers trying to find their way in this world. We know how damaging it can be, to be taunted and teased and touched in school. But how many of us actually come forward with a solution?
Here’s Julie, on TV, with a suggestion. She’s started by telling her daughter’s story, and now she’s committed to helping the education department protect
If you want to support Julie on this mission, you can start by visiting her Facebook page, Commit To Kindness – Say No To Bullying. We’ll bring you more on the app she’s developing, and how you can help. In the meantime, if you have a story you’d like to share or you want to talk to Julie, you can contact me on kate@mamamia.com.au
Top Comments
As others have said here, this isn't bullying. It's straight-up sexual assault. And it's heartbreaking that these little monsters have gotten away with it. If this is what they're like in high school, what on earth kind of "men" will they grow up to be? This is the kind of act that requires immediate and decisive action to prevent these little cretins behaviour from worsening.
A friend of mine wrote this blog to the young woman: http://thepeopleandplaces.w...
Ok, so, here's the thing. Child abuse in all forms, including child abuse perpetrated by other children, i.e. bullying, are my deepest, darkest trigger points. I came from a home of violence and child abuse and even now, at 50, fall to emotional pieces when I read, or witness, child abuse in any of its forms. This is why I never comment on such stories. But I want to say this in addition to comments below calling for prosecution for the perpetrators. There was bullying in schools when I was growing up. I came to Australia when aged 4 in the sixties and experienced bullying at school for being a "wog" and not knowing English, (as well as abuse at home from dad). In that generation, kids knew that when they were hurting other children, this was "wrong", in that they made every attempt to hide their actions from adults and the wider world, even as they enjoyed tormenting other children.
What floors me in this generation, is that the moral compass has totally been crushed underfoot. Time and time again, reports state that not only do kids bully, abuse and, such as in this case, sexually abuse other kids, but also , part of the thrill and delight of it seems to be recording these acts and sharing them across social media. Where is the sense of "wrong" from "right"? Now bullies seem to rejoice in sharing their actions with the wider world. It's as if they not only have no fear of any consequence or being held accountable, but also are actually proud to show off their abuse of others. It's like they expect to be publicly lauded for their actions by the wider community of kids and score a pile of "likes".. Surely, they still know that what they are doing is "wrong"? Yet, they seem to act as if they are not accountable for inflicting long term pain and they certainly seem to have no fear of any adults or authority, not their parents, their victims' parents, teachers, police, or anyone. I just do not understand. This is the banality of evil in action.