It’s a man’s world, so the song goes and if we are honest, that is still pretty true despite the shackle-shaking of the feminist movement. Most politicians are male, most heads of corporations are male, males make more money across the board for the same jobs that women do.
On the flip side more women suffer death and injury at the hands of their partners, one in three women will be raped in their lifetime, and women do the lion’s share of housekeeping and child-rearing even when working full-time.
When a woman does something irrational she is called hormonal. Jibes like, it must be that time of the month, are sniggered, as if, like a werewolf on a full moon, a woman with a period might spontaneously do something mad like eat small children.
But if women are only mad once a month, what can we maketh of a man who thinks with his dick twenty-four hours a day? How the hell do they run countries, orchestrate wars, draft legislation, plan towns and change light bulbs, while being driven by a fleshy knob that can go psycho at any given moment?
The simple-minded erection has seen presidents impeached, sports stars humiliated, politicians scoffed at for tweeting pictures of their willy, not to mention throwing away careers, marriages and reputations. Schwarzenegger, Tiger, Clinton, Weiner, Warne, Strauss-Kahn and on and on and on.
What makes prominent, highly successful men throw everything away to have their penises played with? Is that worm of flesh so powerful that it can derail the common sense of a man who has already conquered so much?
All for a quick thrill that could just as easily have been knocked off in the loo at lunchtime. The only woman I can think of that got busted on the job recently, was Kristen Stewart who kissed her director between takes!
A recent study reports men think about sex somewhere between 19 times a day and every seven seconds a day. Women average 10 thoughts of a sexual nature a day. It is interesting that men also think about a cheese sandwich and a nap more often than women.
With all these primal thoughts going on, that are supposedly biologically programmed into men where is the time to concentrate on things like nuclear war and global warming? Remember, if we are to believe the primal thing, men are also less able to multitask which makes the whole shebang even more worrisome.
A fellow could be signing something important like the Kyoto Protocol when the hot secretary bends over and whoops he’s just signed his name on his own tongue! A Prince could be offering comfort to a sick child in a third world country and suddenly start imagining he’s a tampon.
And they say women are flaky!
I’m hard-wired this way, he moans as if his damn penis is soldered in like a wild-eyed hijacker. My breasts don’t tingle with desire to lactate every time I see a baby.
More and more men, particularly men in powerful positions, are finding themselves struggling with the label ‘sex addict’. A study from Wisconsin confirms what we’ve always known – that Harry and Sally can’t be friends, because Harry sees his female friends in a sexual way.
The idea that men’s sexual urges are something outside of their control is tantamount to saying that the penis rules the head. If the head can’t control the penis then putting a one-eyed trouser monster in charge of anything more serious than a good time is a recipe for disaster. And that brings me to our screwed up world.
Men have been in charge for a long time. At least in charge of external concrete things. Women up until recently have been in charge of the background scenery -making people, feeding people, gathering nuts and seeds and whatnot. We couldn’t vote. Only people with penises could vote. We didn’t choose our wars or our Gods. Wars and religions were and are almost exclusively run by men.
The crazy explosion of industrialism was a bunch of blokes building giant smoke stacks, trains to plough through tunnels and giant rockets to fly into dark spaces. But now that we’ve broken the hymen of our ozone layer, making a smouldering hot bed of our planet and with rape the fastest growing violent crime in the world, I think it’s time to stop and ask the question: Do we really want a bunch of dickheads running the place?
If men want to maintain the line that they can’t help leering at young girls because of some primal urge to procreate with prime baby-making specimens, then they must accept that we are nervous about those primal urges. Growth depends on discipline and self-mastery.
I can still operate heavy machinery and sign a contract while suffering from PMS. If not, I’ll take the day off. For this reason I believe we need to kick harder at that glass ceiling and have more women running things. We need people who can keep their mind on the job and by that I mean ‘on the job’ in the traditional sense of the phrase.
So guys, if you don’t want to be made redundant, get a grip! Learn to train your dragon.
(Apologies to all the men out there that have the situation in hand!)
Nikki McWatters is the author of 'One Way or Another', reformed rock and roll groupie – now – mother of the band. You can follow her on Twitter @nikkimcwatters or read more articles on her blog here and you can also download a copy of her book here (or buy a hard copy here).