Been on a diet detox lately? Because it appears they have become the same thing. It’s just that if you say you’re on a diet, you risk having people try and talk you out of it or raise an eyebrow or accuse you of having a bad body image.

But a detox evokes images of tai chi at dawn, cleansing herbal teas and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Gwyenth detoxes regularly and writes about it in her GOOP newsletter. Earlier this year, she wrote this:

goop2 Detox is the new word for diet.

I think it was during the ‘mastercleanse’ she refers to that she was hospitalised after collapsing (I know this to be true because I read it on The Interweb). Days of pooing and drinking only liquids will do that to you.

Here is a couple of sample days of the detox Gwyneth recommended on GOOP – not so you can follow it, just so you can think about what you ARE eating today and savour every mouthful and be happy you’re not drinking beetroot juice followed by a cucumber soup chaser…..

goopdetox Detox is the new word for diet.

Nedahl Stelio (who used to be my deputy editor when I was on Cosmo before she went on to edit Cleo) recently wrote about the whole diet/detox thing for The Punch…..

Gwyneth17 Detox is the new word for diet. 

Of course.

It just looks like a diet when you examine it closely. Same low-kilojoule attributes. Same restrictive food intake and weird olive-oil drinking/grapefruit eating/supplement taking/food-group limiting traps of traditional diets.

The one that bothers me most is the Lemon Detox. You’ve heard of it, right? It’s advertised all over the radio and encourages you to buy their special syrup which you mix with fresh lemon juice and that’s it!

You’ll lose weight and feel great!

You know how this works? You don’t eat anything. For days. Five in fact. Seven if you make it. 10 if you’ve got superhuman willpower. They promise good health, clear skin and weight loss.

Puh-lease. The reason you lose weight is not because of the miracle syrup or secret fat-fighting properties of lemon. It’s because you’re not eating. You don’t need a doctor, a $90 syrup and a radio ad to tell you that. I did it for five days and of course I lost weight. I also put it all back on after the five days because I was so hungry, I ate double time to make up for it. It’s amazing they’re allowed to advertise it at all….”

Here is a nutritionist talking about how the Lemon Detox diet works and if it’s all a load of rot. Fast forward to the 3 minute mark.

I am of the firm belief that a restrictive diet where you deny yourself all the things you love (like, you know, solid food) is never going to work long-term and just a ticket to the Weight Rollercoaster whose ultimate destination is Fatter Town.

Having said that, eating everything in sight is not the answer either (those jingle bells in the distance are also the sound of over-eating and drinking, also know as December).

Do you diet? Detox? Lemons much?

ALSO TODAY ON MAMAMIA: I’ve posted this HEAVEN interview with Ellen and Portia from Oprah this week. Check it out. I got quite teary during their wedding video



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