Grandparents – you know we love you.
We cherish your relationships with our kids and we often can’t quite express how much we appreciate your help.
Really. We do.
But.
(You knew there was a but…)
There are some things that we wish you knew.
Some things we wish you would remember. Just a few teeny little rules and hopes we wish you would take to heart. So, in the interests of the motherhood I am going to take one for the team and set it out loud and clear.
All the while hoping that nobody is offended cause you know we love you. Right? And I do need a baby-sitter next weekend…
Top Comments
One thing I've learned as a grandparent: Don't do or say anything unless you're asked. However, I do let my kids know that if they've asked for my thoughts on something to not start critiquing my suggestions. If you don't want the truth about what I think don't ask. I also don't pick favorites among my grandkids and I have six of them, four of which have children of their own. Their other grandmother is critical of all but one; the one that remained in the family's religion. According to their other grandmother (of the same religion) the one that remained in the church can do no wrong while the others are constantly criticized for the life paths they've chosen. I try to let all my grandkids know that no matter what they choose to do with their lives (including religious beliefs) that I stand by their decisions-even when I don't understand them or even agree with them. And while I don't expect my kids to use outdated parenting techniques, I try and remind them that not everything my generation did was rubbish. Case in point, my daughter-in-law came to me complaining that dinner had become a nightmare. She and my son both work full time and don't have time to make three different meals; they will make something for dinner, their daughter wants something else and their son wants something completely different from his sister and the parents. She's tired of having to come home and having the same argument with the kids and having to prepare three different meals. She asked what I thought. I told her that when I was a child, we lived on what my father made-my mother didn't work outside the home. We couldn't afford three different meals so the rule was, eat what was made or go without. My daughter-in-law was absolutely horrified! "How could your mother let you go hungry?!" she yelled. "Someone should have called DCFS on your mother!" I tried to explain that I only refused to eat what was put in front of me one or two times--ever. Going to bed taught me to obey my parents as well as teach me that we don't always get what we want in life. It was weeks before she spoke to me again and my son had to convince her that I wasn't going to starve or abuse her children if she consented to let them visit. The truth is, my mother NEVER starved me, the choice to eat what she made or go to bed hungry was my own. I could have just as easily chosen to eat what was being served. After talking to my son, he asked me not to give any more parenting advice and I promptly told him I wouldn't on the grounds that she never ask me for it again.
Paternal grandparents gave a birthday party for grandson turning 3.
Gave party at beginning of the month when his birthday falls at the end of month & they would be seeing him the weekend after his birthday. He told me Nan & Pa gave him a birthday, I said it wasn't his birthday until end of month. He replied no it's my birthday now. Child is confused.
Paternal grandparents have interim orders in place, they travel monthly to see child. Do not try to get him to sleep comes back on both Saturday and Sunday exhausted. Struggle to get him out of bed for daycare on Monday. Ezcerma breaks out. Allergic to nuts, dairy & eggs. Feed him whatever. Had trial run for sleepover had to return him to his mother most upset still saying he wants to sleepover. Partner & paternal grandparents locked my daughter & 9 month old son out of home. Partner since deceased. Parternal grandmother overbearing, liar, her way or no way, must be in control. Daughter gets stressed at changeovers. I think they are a bad influence and would like some advice to pass onto my daughter. She has never denied them access and was extremely upset when a court order came through.
Any advice would be appreciated.