The first time ‘Kate’ had sex after a brutal divorce she was nervous about her body, her breath, her moves and her date’s unfamiliar style.The newness of the experience was so overwhelming she just couldn’t think straight, let alone bring up the condom conversation. “I was 50, I’d only had sex with one man for 20 years, I was nervous as hell, I had to get a bit drunk. When the moment came to talk about contraception I thought bugger it, it’s not like I can’t get pregnant for god’s sake”.
Judith Chaplin-Fleming tells a titillating story about her first sexual adventure after her marriage ended. Judith found the safe sex negotiation all part of the thrill. You can hear her incredible story told with captivating honesty on the Debrief Daily Podcast ‘Just Between Us’ but here’s a taste:
Sex after divorce can range from thrilling to awkward and for women who may not have had a new sexual partner in decades, it’s a daunting new world to navigate. It’s also one that can be dangerous for new explorers. Surprisingly – or not – single women aged over 51 are the most likely age group to have sex on their first date.
And why shouldn’t they?
But according to a Family Planning report, they’re also the most likely to have unprotected sex on a one-night stand. The Sex in Australia Survey found that only a tiny six per cent women aged between 50 and 60 used condoms for heterosexual sex.
If you’re under 45, you have probably never had sex in a world without AIDS. For Generation X in particular, the Grim Reaper campaign had an indelible impact on sexual behaviour. Condoms really came of age in the 80s and teenagers began rolling them onto bananas during sex education classes at school. Baby boomers, however, were most likely ensconsed in marriage during that time. Casual sex was not part of their world and so condoms and conversations about safe sex weren’t either.