To the me of 18 years ago.
You don’t know it yet but your beautiful baby boy has a secret. That secret is going to break your heart. Repeatedly. But I promise you, it will be okay. I promise. Sure you will need therapy, and a big bottle of Zoloft with that therapy. It will help, it will help you crawl out of that overwhelming fog you will feel for a while. But you won’t need them forever.
This baby boy is going to keep you up at night – literally and figuratively. You will worry over him like no other child has made you worry. I’ll be honest, you’ll never get over that worry and it will haunt you, but not constantly.
One by one you’re going to give up on the dreams you had for this baby boy. The ones of him in the playground, the sports field, the best friends, and what he could be as an adult.
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Beautifully written. I have three kids, two of whom have special needs. It's bloody hard work, and we definitely have our low times. But each child is so beautiful and special and I love them just as they are. There are times when I wish life was a bit easier (more sleep, less worry, more normality), but then I realise that it is what it is, and I'm grateful for my three children. It has taught me to be more tolerant, appreciative of the smaller things, patient and compassionate towards others.