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I’ve loved this week because it’s the first one in a month or two where I haven’t been travelling. I’ve felt more balanced, had more time with my family and more time with the office. Everyone wins.

Welcome

Our new writer, Lucinda Ormonde started yesterday and I have no doubt that at some stage soon she will stop looking terrified. There really is a lot to take in about how Mamamia works. A bit like putting a firehose into your mouth and turning it on.

We’re really looking forward to her being here and contributing even more to the site.

DSC01748 380x675 Open post of the week

I crashed a meeting and made Lucy pose for this photo.

 

The fashion moment

A few weeks ago I mentioned I wasn’t sure about the coloured denim thing. May I just say that I have now most definitely decided. Coloured denim is rocking our world at the moment. Here is Lana in her new Sportsgirl “Abbie” pink jeans. I have the same pair in aqua and a different style in coral. I also own purple Sass & Bide jeans which I live in. And some bright (almost fluro) orange Sass & Bide cords.

I’m finding it a great way to bridge from winter black blahs to Spring before it gets too hot and you don’t want to be wearing jeans anymore. Have you gone there yet?

jeans Open post of the week

Lana's Sportsgirl jeans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Gadget

I first saw this at my hairdresser and I immediately jumped online to buy one for my ipad.

It’s a wireless bluetooth keyboard for your ipad that also doubles as a case and a stand. You can put your ipad in it vertically or horizontally and it’s changed the whole way I use my ipad (in that I use it much more now and for many more things – like writing as well as browsing). I’m constantly asked about it whenever I use it in public.

Even when I went into the Apple store with it one time, all the blue people gathered around me in wonderment, oooh-ing and aaaaahh-ing. This was possibly the geek highlight of my life. Telling the clever blue people something about technology that they didn’t yet know.

The cost US$99 plus shipping which is about another $30. Clever.

The show

On the show this week is Mark Dapin, Sam De Brito, Sue Cato and Paula Joye.

Picture 31 Open post of the week

From left to right: Sam de Brito, Mark Dapin, Sue Cato, Paula Joye

We’ll also be featuring interviews with Muslim feminist and academic Susan Carland and Krystal Barter from Pink Hope – check back on Friday for full interviews and lots more information.

New York Fashion Week

Here’s a bit of fluff if you like looking at pictures of fashionable people wearing fashionable things at fashion shows. High on the perve scale.

Amanda Seyfried

Half cups of tea

Regular readers of anything I write or regular viewers of Mamamia on Sky News will notice that I am never far from a cup of tea. I like my tea to come in very large, bucket-style cups. Or as Sam de Brito commented after watching me drink DURING an interview on this week’s show: “Why are you drinking from a vase?”

There’s been an odd development in my tea drinking and that is my inability to finish a whole cup before it gets colder than I want it to be. So now there are half-drunk cups of tea all around the office and I’m finding it so very difficult to monitor my tea intake. First world problems, yeah a lot.

tea Open post of the week

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The magazine cover

I’ve been travelling a lot the past few weeks and have spent many a minute browsing the magazine racks before I fly. I always have my Kindle and ipad for during the flight but those pesky take offs and landings often require a magazine. Gosh it’s disspiriting. Wall-to-wall plastic, air-brushed sameness.

We received this email from a reader this week, concerned about Girl Power magazine (which I’d never heard of) and their massively altered cover image of Katy Perry:

girl power Open post of the week

Girl Power

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tamar wrote:

Katy Perry is photoshopped to within an inch of her life it appears. This is a mag targeted at the 8 – 12 tweenies and I know I don’t have to preach to you and your team about this issue but I wanted to bring it to your attention as I’m not sure you have ever mentioned the younger girls mags. I’m a Mum to 8 year old twin girls and after I saw this we had a big long chat about what it means to be photoshopped and why magazines do it. I can almost live with it in adult magazines as we tend to view things with a filter but for the young and impressionable – not good.

Can I suggest that every parent show this video to their kids:

 

Arm party

Louise from Table Tonic posted about her arm party – and I thought I’d share her image and tips. Very Spring-y.

arm party Open post of the week

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Her arm party user guide:

1. A watch is optional, but if you’re going to wear one, a larger style (or men’s) watch is the go.
2. Mixing silver and gold is acceptable. Heck, it’s recommended!
3. Soften up the “metal” with some string/friendship bracelets
4. Mix it up – and if you feel like it, co-ordinate colours with your outfit like I have
5. Be creative and have fun with it!
So, how is your week going? Anything you’d like to discuss?

Comments

Comment Guidelines : Imagine you’re at a dinner party. Different opinions are welcome but keep it respectful or the host will show you the door. We have zero tolerance for any abuse of our writers, our editorial team or other commenters. So if you’re rude, mean-spirited, snarky, aggressive, defamatory or bitchy, your comment will be deleted (so will any replies to the original comment – so don’t bother arguing with rude people, instead just hit the ‘alert moderator’ button).
And if you’re offensive, you’ll be blacklisted and all your comments will go directly to spam. Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re going to be – cool. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation…

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192 Comments so far

  1. Deb

    OMM! 3 months ago I had a tubal reversal. My full caesarean scar was re-opened and I limped around for a week thinking why the hell would anyone put themself through this.

    This afternoon I had a positive pregnancy test! OMG! Period is still not due for 6 days and I did it on the spur of the moment! Although I thoroughly relate to Mia’s preg test addiction – I have a fair bit of that problem too!

    So now I am waiting on hubby to get home from work so I can see the look on his face. Won’t tell the older kids (aged 9 & 12) for a couple of months if I can hide if for that long, and the family can wait til Christmas!

    So very exciting, and lovely to be able to share it with the world while hiding behind the anonymity of the internet :)

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  2. Anonymous

    Lana has rockin legs!

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  3. janes

    Fix that picture of Katy in your head, then imagine that same shot without the hair. Why would anyone photoshop someone to that extent. It looks so fake.

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  4. chickadee

    I LOVE the dove clip- its such a good idea- not just for kids but for some adults too!

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  5. Sarah G

    I am a new member of Pink Hope, Krystal mentioned n facebook she filmed with you. Is it on tonight. My family and I really want to watch it?

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  6. Susan As Well

    Welcome Lucinda :)
    Wishing you many happy, creative days ahead.
    Looking forward to reading your writing.

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  7. M

    OMM: I need a new pair of sunnies.
    I love black. Just want a cool pair of shades. My pair have had there day (well there 2 years)
    Any ideas or tips for anyone?? Direct links welcome!!

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  8. chellebelle

    I love Lana’s shoes! Where did you get them Lana?

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    • Lana

      Sambag :-) (and thanks)

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      • chellebelle

        Had a look at their website – they don’t have a Canberra store and the ones you have aren’t on the website. I shall just have to drool from afar :-)

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        • Sparky

          I made the comment below that MIDAS has a similar pair – or they did last week – on sale on their website, for $50. JONIKA is what they’re called, I think. Love my pair.

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  9. Cordeline

    I have a very sophisticated though OMM right at this very moment…

    peanut butter

    I want some, right now
    Haven’t had any in the house for over 4 years (one the kids very allergic)
    Never even really used to have it much before then anyway
    But want it right now, on a Premium cracker

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    • amysheaves

      I recommend you also pick up a pregnancy test while you’re there!

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  10. Shaezy

    OMM: Jensen Ackles. That’s pretty much it. He’s gorgeous. When we watch Supernatural I go all 14yo girl on him – you know, giggly, hair flippy, tongue tied. And he’s only on the TV!!
    Also, I think hubby has a boy crush on him and I’m pretty sure I’m ok with that!

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  11. MissMel

    Can anyone recommend a book on dealing with workplace politics? I’m new to the game and I’m finding myself in innocent yet difficult situations through my inexperience. Nothing major but perhaps there is a light-hearted/informative book on this pervasive topic.
    x

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  12. phoodietweets

    Oh I am feeling rather emotional right now!!

    DEFINITELY the hormones going a little crazy, but hormones aside, it’s a bit of a ‘sad’ time…… not sure if sad is the right word!?

    I’ve been a long time follower and fan of Mamamia (even writing 2 posts for this FABULOUS site!!) and also, over the past 2 years I have run my own little Mummy Blog “Phoodie” – http://www.phoodie.wordpress.com

    I am about to give birth to my second bubba and I know that my time on MM and writing for my own blog will be VERY limited, at least in the short term.

    This makes me go “waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”

    Who knows, maybe I will be up ALL NIGHT (not just half the night! hehe) and I will be online more than I am predicting….. but just in case I am not – I wanna say BYE (FOR NOW ONLY) to the cyber world!

    Until I return….

    Phoodie :)

    p.s. I must add, that I realllllllly hope to do LOTS AND LOTS more PHOODIEVISION when I return…. but for now, here’s a link to EPISODE 1 – http://phoodie.wordpress.com/tag/le-cordon-bleu/ )

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    • Best of luck – hope to hear about bubba and what you decide to name him/her.

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    • qwerty

      NOOOOOOOOOO! Phoodie I was just getting into your awesome blog and looking forward to lots of other yummy recipes! For anyone who hasn’t checked it out yet, you’re missing out! Lots of great recipes, and the presentation is inspiring.

      Good luck with your new bub and hope you’ll be back soon!

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    • Christine

      Good luck! :)

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    • Cordeline

      Lots of luck and Cadbury scorched peanuts to you Phoodie
      xx

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    • No catchy nickname

      Phoodie your blog is amazing! I meant to tell you a while ago (I checked it out after you posted a link to homemade ferrero rochers! Nommy) not only have I found recipes on it I also made my friends look at it too and they love it.
      Best wishes for the birth of your next baby!! I always enjoy your comments so I hope you don’t make yourself too scarse.

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      • phoodietweets

        Thanks SO SO much for your kind words!!!!

        I will def be back at some stage! :)

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  13. Anonymous

    I love this Dove clip – such an engaging way of conveying a strong message! Also a fan of te keyboard case thingy for iPad but I want them to come in fun colours, rather than a slightly boring silver that isn’t quite a cool shade.
    OMM – mad an appointment at work recently who is turning out to be very aggressive. I am really intimidated and I am the boss! She’s telling a lot of tales but some major discrepancies in a few facts… Wow, I am really bad at selecting staff from an interview scenario!

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    • Anonymous

      Hi Anonymous, I work in recruitment and would really suggest looking at your reference checking process. It can be time comsuming, but may save you time in the long run!

      Make sure you contact at least 2 people who have supervised the candidate ideally within the last 12 months, but ALWAYS make sure there is at least 1 supervisor from their current/ most revent job.

      Ask open questions rather than yes or no questions. Ask things like: what motivates the candidate, can you help me understand their personality, how did they get along with other staff, have you ever doubted their integrity etc

      This probably doesnt help with your current employee, but might do if you replace them :)

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      • janes

        The first time I sat on a selection panel the chair briefed us before the candidates came in. Her briefing was simple “keep one question in mind; if this person is so good (often based on their CV) why was their previous boss willing to let them go?”

        It proved to be good advice and some ‘fantastic’ (on paper) candidates turned out to be somewhat less than appearances.

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    • HR person

      If you have only just appointed them then please make sure you talk to your HR department (if you have one) about ending this person’s employment whilst they are still on probation – it is so much harder to terminate once someone has worked for an employer for greater than six months.

      First though perhaps you need to speak to them…

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  14. Anon

    Am looking for a really great psychologist or psychiatrist in sydney to help my darling husband suffering terribly with bipolar. He has lost  faith in all medico’s and our GP who was helping has lost her mojo with him and is a bit intimidated and not sure where we turn next after 7 years of suffering and 5 different meds regimes. Need a straight talking, blokey, brave, tell it like it is doc who can roll up his or her sleeves and dive into these murky waters of depression and pull my hubbie out of his tortured existence and back into the life and love that our 4 children and i have waiting for him. Navel gazers and those who love long circular discussions on the couch need not apply. We need really pragmatic and practical advice and help.

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    • Jane

      I used to work here and this psychiatrist was very popular. I think he only there once a week.

      http://www.rozelletotalhealth.com.au/psychiatrist/

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      • Jane

        Forgot to say all the best.

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    • amysheaves

      Anon, I am really sad for you and your family. We have been through a similar period where I was suffering severe depression – I hated how I was feeling and I hated the effect my illness was having on my family, which just added to my woes! I was soooo lucky to have found Julie Stone who is a miracle worker. While she definitely listened to what I had to say, and asked all the right questions, she gave me STRATEGIES and proper therapy that pulled me out of my misery. I don’t know what state you live in, but here are her details. She is incredibly difficult to get in to, but maybe she can refer you to a good clinician. http://macquarieclinic.com.au/prof-julie.htm

      All the best. Thinking of you.

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    • stretchyprincess

      Sorry, I live in Melb, so I can’t help, but just wanted to say good luck! xxxx

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  15. Joanne

    I finally started reading Zoe Foster’s ‘Amazing Face’ this week, along with ‘Last Summer’ by Kylie Ladd – I know, about 6 months behind everyone else, but that’s how I roll. Loving them both sick! (and now know why ladies & gents in the MM office required notepads when reading AF!).

    Muchos excited about flying into Sydney for a girly weekend. Cocktails ahoy!

    Read about the Sydney MM Picnic below – great idea!

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    • Kylie L

      Hey, thanks! And it’s only been out three months so you’re not *that* late :)

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  16. ozinuk

    All I have is WTF? WTF is wrong here? Why?

    Oh America… you worry me:

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/richard-adams-blog/2011/sep/14/michele-bachmann-republicans-hpv-vaccine

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    • Melissa

      She also believes that humans and dinosaurs roamed the Earth at the same time and husbands are the heads of their wives.

      Totally unsurprised.

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    • janes

      What is really, really scary is that, with Obama’s falling popularity and the current state of the US economy, the Republicans have a good chance of reclaiming the White House at the next election.

      Do Americans so easily forget the foolish actions of Bush and his cohorts? This woman is a menace to society – imagine her in charge of the most powerful country i the world.

      Terrifying!

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  17. petunia

    Three girls at my daughter’s preschool turned their back on another girl and said they didn’t want to play with that girl…I’m kind of glad my daughter plays with mainly boys, and the teachers say she moves around quite freely with all the kids! Who knew that kind of behaviour started so young!?

    I’m enjoying planning my daughter’s 4th birthday party. We’re trying to keep it environmentally-friendly (as much as we can) by using paper bags for take-home bags, paper plates etc. I’m excited about baking her cake too…I hope she has a lovely time.

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    • PK - Australian Expat in CH

      Oh it definitely happens – coming from someone who was often excluded out of friendship circles.

      It especially happens if the girl/boy or child is shy or not assertive.

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      • Anonymous

        the little girl is quite shy. I’ve encouraged my daughter to take her hand or to invite her to play but the little girl is quite hesitant, or shy.

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  18. MissT

    OMM: Is it the end of the day yet? I’m so tired!

    Question for everyone: Does anyone have a divorce/custody lawyer they would recommend in Sydney? I’ve got a friend going through a bit of a messy one and he needs a really good lawyer to make sure he doesn’t lose his kids.

    If you would rather email it to me than post it here, given the personal nature of what they do, please feel free to do so at tamsin (dot) howse (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks guys

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    • Zelicat

      In my experience legal aid have a great family law section. They have seen every thing, and have a huge amount if experience. At the very least they will be able to refer on to some one who ” specializes” in what ever the issues are

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  19. alyce

    Heya! Was just hoping for some advice from some lawyer types/ generally knowledgable people out there- the restaurant I’m currently working at has just brought in a policy that the floor staff has to pay for any mistakes we make, for example putting in the wrong meal etc. The restaurant is a steak house, so there is 11 different steaks, 3 different sides and 8 sauces to choose from- mistake do happen, but generally it is pretty infrequent. What is the legality of this policy? Can we be made to pay? Last week a girl was made to fork out $80 for her mistakes (it’s a pricy place) and it was pretty upsetting, especially because she is relatively new and it’s well known she’s not well-off. Basically was wondering whether this was illegal, and if so, whats the next step? I live in Perth if thats relevant…
    thanks :)

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    • I’ve never practised in the murky area of industrial relations, but it doesn’t sound right to me. You should be able to speak to an industrial relations lawyer for free/cheap, some will give advice to union members (if you are a member of a union) for a free first consult!

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    • MissT

      Call the Dept of Fair Trading. If they can’t help you, they can tell you who can.

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    • Bo

      I’ve done employment Law in my degree, but I agree with Whippersnapper – its a bit murky with things like this. I know it sounds silly but have you re-read a copy of your original employment contract? I’d check if it offers any clarity on this issue. Also have they asked you to sign anything in relation to this new policy? I would contact Fair Work Australia and see what they say.

      Ethically, I think its pretty mean. I live in Perth, do you mind if I ask what restaurant it is? I think you should name and shame!

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      • alyce

        I haven’t got a copy of my contract, but I’m fairly sure there was nothing in there about it- theres no way I would have signed it! In relation to the policy, its just been posted up on the walls, nobody has signed it. If it comes down to it, i’d prefer to be fired- its just such bullshit. The fact that they know they’re targeting a staff that is mainly fairly skint uni students irritates me as well- the kitchen staff are immune from this new policy, so if they make a mistake, it doesn’t matter!

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    • Camie

      I work in hospitality in Melbourne and while I don’t know the legalities of it, a place I worked at brought that in just as I was leaving. As I was leaving I didn’t look into it, but I would suggest you find another job. Legal or not, do you really want to work for a place that treats it’s staff like that when there is a skills shortage in hospitality? I just kept quitting jobs that treated me badly until I found a good one, and I’ve been there on and off for 5 years now.

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    • rainbow

      i would name and shame, or at least give a hint!

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      • Anonymous

        I’m not too keen to name and shame- unfortunately im using my actual name and i’m the only one there! sorry ladies!

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    • HR Person

      As someone who works in HR a bit more information is needed before I would pass comment.

      However I suggest you ring Fair Work Australia. They are the federal body that is responsible for ensuring that employers comply with Industrial Relations legislation and should be able to advise you on the legality of the new policy.

      Good luck and please let us know the outcome if you can.

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    • Sarah E

      Hi Alyce,
      I’m in Perth too.
      Try ringing the Department of Commerce, which has a Labour Relations section. They cover information on the private and public sectors in Perth.
      http://www.commerce.wa.gov.au/LabourRelations/
      Or you could try Fair Work Australia, which also has a registry in Perth.
      http://www.fwa.gov.au/
      I am not a lawyer, but I am sure one of these departments can give you some assistance. good luck!

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    • Sarah E

      Hi Alyce
      I am in Perth too.
      Try ringing the Department of Commerce, which has a Labour Relations section. They cover employment matters for the public and private sector in Perth.
      http://www.commerce.wa.gov.au/LabourRelations/
      Or you could contact Fair Work Australia, which has a Perth registry.
      http://www.fwa.gov.au/
      I am sure one of these departments will be able to assist you. good luck!

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  20. Peta-Marie

    I need some advice on my mothering skills! Help!

    Just to give the background – I have a 2yr 3mth old son and a 12mth old son (yes, 15mths apart). Husband works away at the mines so I spend most of my time alone with my kids.

    So I deal with my two children pretty well most of the time but my eldest son has entered the terrible 2′s and tests me (and husband when he is home) to the limit sometimes.

    I lose my cool with him fairly badly sometimes and I hate it when I do it. I just get so angry I can’t see straight. For example today he woke up and did the whole crying for half an hour for no good reason thing. I comforted, I offered food/water/books/vitamin C tablet (he LOVES them)/Cars movie. He kept going. And going. There is only so long I can ignore the crying, especially when I know there is no good reason for it. So yes, I lost it. I dragged him down the hallway and threw him in his room. Cue more crying and he fell over and hit his head on the rocking horse. Cue guilt from me and now this post where I am wondering if I am alone in losing my cool like this? Preparing for flaming if others think I am cruel but rest assured I love my children and look after them well.

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    • Amy

      I’m not a councillor, nor do I have kids of my own (just a future stepson). Your reaction I’m sure is not uncommon. It must be really hard to keep your cool. I’ve babysat my sister’s three kids (4 yrs, 2 yr twins!) and even after an hour I was nearly in tears from all the crying, screaming and ‘she poked me!’ fights.
      It sounds like you’re having some trouble coping, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. The way our society has evolved, parents, particularly mothers, are expected to be perfect. And it’s just not possible. I am actually researching mothering for a uni essay at the moment, and have discovered that it is actually impossible for a single adult to raise a child by themselves. And if your husband is away for work a lot of the time, it sounds like you’re trying to do just that.
      For some light-hearted help, I heartily suggest The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show dvd. He has a book too: he’s a child psychologist from NZ and he presents his parenting tips in a sort of stand-up comedy way. Very funny, but my sister and her husband also said they found it realyl comforting and helpful.
      For slightly more serious help, I think it might be an idea to perhaps speak to a counciller. Perhaps ask a friend to take care of the kids and just go and chat to someone for an hour, tell them about how frustrated you get and your concerns that you lose your temper.
      Perhaps in the meantime, if you’re worries about losing your cool, try ‘taking it out’ on something else? I don’t know if this will work, but next time your son is crying non-stop, and you feel yourself about to explode, take a deep breath and count to 10, calmly take him into his room and close the door on him. Then go to your room and scream into a pillow, or hit it if you have to. Just give yourself a minute or two to compose yourself before going back to speak to your son. Repeat it if you have to, either until ou feel strong enough to deal with him, or he actually stops crying.

      I’m sorry I can’t be more help, I really hope he stops this dreadful phase soon! Good luck!

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    • MissT

      Speak with your doctor. Maybe there’s a reason for your sons crying, or maybe you need a little help, or maybe you just need someone to complain to?

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    • Petal

      Oh God, I can’t tell you the number of times I threw my son in his room and shut the door. Don’t worry, you are definitely not alone. You have natural and normal feelings. I read in the Toddler Taming book that if it ever feels too much to take the kids and go outside. Things always seem a little less overwhelming at a park and the kids are getting fresh air and play at the same time.

      Also, another suggestion would be not to fuss too much. I used to say to my daughter ‘I’ll only talk to you when you stop crying’ then get distracted by folding washing/making lunch/reading the paper.

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    • Peta-Marie

      Just to clarify – it isn’t only the crying upon waking that sends me over the edge, it can be any typical toddler behaviour that is persistent and what I deem to be naughty. I am patient, patient, patient then I feel it start to slide and that is when I crack it. Not always, I guess it depends on what frame of mind I’m in. But I try to remember that he is small and I could hurt him so easily. Hope this makes sense.

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      • anon mummy

        Peta Marie, I can so relate to you on this. First of all, every mother I know has moments where they’ve lost it, one can only take so much crying after all. I can recall two particular incidents when I reached breaking point and really lost it with my son, one time because he cried for literally 1hour and 30 minutes NON-STOP (nope…that is not an exaggeration). Another, when he refused to go to sleep after 2 hours of whinging, moaning and crying. I am so ashamed of myself whenever I think back to how I reacted on those occasions, and feel like the worst mother in the world as my reaction must have scared the crap out of him but at the time I was at breaking point. And although I’ve promised myself I will never react that way again, I still lose it sometimes and tell him to go and sit in his room for a while until we have both calmed down.

        I can’t imagine raising my kids on my own with no help from my husband, and I know this must be putting extra strain on your mothering. No matter how much you love your kids, you need time to yourself and time away from them to be ‘you’ again. Sometimes its easy to become lost in the role of ‘mother’ and for a while I felt like I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.

        Do they attend childcare? Do you have family near by that can babysit every now and then to give you a bit of a break?

        Also, I find that it helps when my kids are calm and relaxed to use that time to talk to them about the rules of the house and how we are all expected to behave. Then we go through the consequences of what will happen when the rules are broken so they know in advance if they misbehave what will follow. So my kids know if they don’t share, then the toys will be taken away. If they hit, they will have to be separated for a period of time to give each one time to cool off, if they are rude, they will go to their room, etc. I don’t know if your kids are too young to talk about that yet, but its a good thing to keep in mind so they know about consequences and what will follow.

        Don’t judge yourself too harshly, we’ve all been there. Try to prepare yourself for the next tantrum so you’ve already got an idea how you’ll cope when he does have one next time, so you don’t snap and then regret it later on.

        All the best.xxx

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      • Anonymous

        The best thing to do is take a deep breath and count in your head for a couple of seconds before reacting – hard to do, i know – but i’ve found it really good for me (i have two boys 5 and 2).
        I’ve overreacted plenty of times, and now i’m really consciously trying to cool myself down before i lose it…
        better for me, better for them – they’re just being normal kids, after all

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      • Anonymous

        I had a difficult toddler. Wearing earplugs really helped. You can still hear, but it’s like turning down the volume the crying and tantrums.

        15 months apart, 2 – 2 and under… go easy on yourself. I can’t imagine.

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      • Susan As Well

        Hey Peta-Marie … Does it help at all to know that your son is just as frustrated with himself as you are. Being a two year old means having his mind all jangley and hyperemotional and feeling frustrated with himself down to his toenails and totally unable to sort out what he’s so emotional about.

        This knowledge used to help me when my kids were going through the terrible two stage. Things I used were eye contact, empathy, soothing touch, humour, distraction. Things would settle down a lot faster this way than when I got caught up in their frustration with them.

        Good luck and remember you’re a really good mum when you search for better ways with your kids and none of us ever got it right first time :)

        PS If possible try to get out and network with other mums – being alone so much with two littlies would wear the strongest person down.

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    • backagain

      I have also lost it with my kids and reacted in ways that I’m pretty unhappy and ashamed about. But I always try harder the next time, and that’s all we can do. Hugs. Dont’ feel too sad about it ok, just move on forward xx

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    • Tripitaka

      My son is a bit younger than yours, but he will also often have a big tantrum after waking up from his daytime sleep too. I think it is to do with waking up when not quite in the right phase of sleep yet to feel rested. When this happens, the only thing that will calm him down is watching Dora or In The Night Garden on TV, and perhaps some of his favourite foods/cup of drink. So I let him watch TV, then try to switch off when he’s feeling better. Obviously this might not work for every child as they’re all very different – but TV/internet games sure do come in handy sometimes as a way to distract them out of the tantrum.

      I think time out is generally a really good strategy for when they are testing the limits a lot, although I think my son at 22 months is a bit young for this. I did it quite a bit with my daughter when she was 3 though, and occaisionally now (she’s 4.5). Rather than drag him down the hallway, would it be possible to just pick him up, and put him on his bed, close the door and leave? Then keep going back in every few minutes and asking if he’s ready to stop crying and talk about it.

      It can also be helpful to talk about the behaviour with them when they’re not upset. So a time at home, when they’re playing and happy, can be a good time to bring up a conversation about “I wanted to talk about what happened the other day, I feel very sad when you cry so much, etc.” I think it just gets through to them a bit more when they’re not emotional.

      Anyway, it is certainly a tough period for most parents, and can be especially hard if your partner is away and you also have a little one to care for! So hang in there, it will get easier! Make sure you have some time to yourself every so often too – is it possible to organise a babysitter/childcare for a day? Or find another Mum whose kids you could take care of, and then leave yours with her?

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    • Bejazzled

      Totally sympathise with you Peta-Marie, be kind to yourself. My son who is now 8 1/2 was exactly the same when he would wake up after a sleep, he would scream for 40 minutes every day after his day sleep. This went on for at least 12 months or more. There was no reason to it (kids aren’t built for reason anyway). As it was a pattern for him I came to realise all I could do was prepare myself for that time and sit on the couch and just cuddle him/ rub his back & completely surrender to it. Today, if I was experiencing this, I would also throw on my husbands work ear-muffs. Do this, its wonderful, and it can give you that break when you feel the blood pressure rising from the noise. Prepare something yummy for you to eat whilst you are cuddling him too. Food helps to keep you grounded and centred, and all that screaming has the effect of sending the mind & body off the ground into crazy land. Make sure you are prepped for the baby, ie have bubs on couch if awake, with bottle milk/ or expressed milk, toys. And let go of any expectations of getting anything done during that time, just completely surrender to little one for that half hour or so. It may seem like a big waste of time, cos we have so much to get done, but that will only make life harder for you, and it sounds like you need a rest. Use that time to chill – with ear-muffs on!! By the way my son if perfectly okay, no issues or health concerns, just a very senstive little first born. Warm regards B

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    • michaelaj

      Hi Peta-Marie
      We have definitely all been there. My 3 year old is testing the limits at the moment
      We went through a crying period and I used a 5 minute system with him. For 5 minutes I would cuddle console talk etc then I would tell him I just had to go to the kitchen and if he’d like to stop crying he could join me, then I’d leave for 5 minutes. Then go back and start again consolling etc and then leave. It gives me a break from the noise but isn’t too long for him. He soon figured out it was much better to join me.
      We’d then do something nice together – read a special book or have a special snack. If he woke in a good mood we’d go straight to the special book or snack so he was rewarded for the good mood.
      It didn’t stop immediately but it got better.
      Just remember it will get better. Not that that helps in the midst of the crying.
      Getting outside can definitely help – the distraction works sometimes. Maybe take a cuppa and a snack for him and let him figure out if he wants to eat or scream.
      Best of luck xx

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    • vegas

      Hey hon, you’re sooooo not alone. My husband has been away for just 11 days and I’ve found it so hard to be as patient with my 2year old daughter as I would normally like to be because you just get so exhausted and emotionally drained when you don’t get a break. And they can be such hard work at that age.

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    • rainbow

      i hope it makes you feel better to know you are completely normal!

      you have two young children home full time. it is hard and we make mistakes and lose our cool.

      i would second what petal said as well as try to spend nice time with your toddler when the baby is asleep. i know it is hard but sit down and read a story or sit on the floor and play. when your husband is home, take your 2 year old out with you and leave the baby home. he might just be needing a bit more attention, which is near impossible with a baby and your hubbo away.

      take care xx

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  21. feistyangel

    Well today I paid off my Wedding Dress … :-D so happy about that. Also got told that it should be delivered mid to late Oct (hoping it is more mid than late as Wedding is mid Nov) so fittings will start then. Holy crap just realised that is only 4-6 weeks away. And only 9 weeks till the wedding.
    OHHHH happiness. Lol can you tell I’m very preocupied these days.

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  22. You can call me Susan

    I haven’t read the comments yet, but I love Lana’s shoes! As a mum who always wears joggers or flats, my going out shoes tend to be wedges. Lana’s look like they have rubber soles – I want a pair! Were they a recent buy?

    I too drink a lot of tea. To keep it hot even when I am at home I drink it in an insulated cup. T2 have a great range of brightly coloured ones. (Maybe too small for Mia though).

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    • Lana

      Thanks You can call me Susan – they were from Sambag last year but they often have very similar styles

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      • You can call me Susan

        Thank you! Lovin’ the nails too!

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        • Sparky

          May I add that Midas has similar pair, they were on sale online a couple of weeks ago, reduced from $160 to $50. BARGAIN!! They have rubber soles, are quite high for me, a flats girl, but so comfy because of the wedge and the rubber!

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  23. elishanarta

    I am spending wayyy to much money!!! on clothes! :) I am loving it… but I hate the stupid guilty feeling afterwards! But on the bright side I picked up some amazing pieces =) my excuse is, i need a new spring/summer wardrobe, lol!

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  24. Louise (Table Tonic)

    Wow. Big picture!
    Wasn’t expecting that!

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  25. Louise (Table Tonic)

    Woohoooooo!
    Week just got better – thanks for the shout out MM Goddesses!
    And a warm and fuzzy welcome to Lucinda.
    xLouise

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  26. Petal

    Lana, those jeans are beautiful. Would you believe I went to just about every shop in Chadstone yesterday looking for coloured jeans (red). Tried Sussan (too short), Country Road and Just Jeans (too skinny). Have also been to Valley Girl, Forever New etc etc. Nearly yelled at the assistant in Just Jeans ‘Why can’t I find a pair OF RED JEANS THAT FIT A NORMAL WOMAN?’ Can someone PLEASE HELP ME??? Surely it can’t be that hard? (I’m 40 and a size 14, don’t want skinny jeans, just normal.)

    Loving the arm candy and fashion week pics.

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    • gypsy

      Have you tried Witchery? They have some cool red jeans at the moment and they have them in size 14 too.

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      • Petal

        Bloody hell, no I didn’t try them (Always thought they did more corporate looking clothes). Didn’t go to Sportsgirl either (too young for me). MUST broaden my horizons and try different shops! Thanks for the suggestion!

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        • rainbow

          sportsgirl doesn’t have an age limit! seriously i don’t fit their market but often find things there!

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        • donnamurphy

          Youve got until 9 or 10pm tonight cause Chadstone have their VIP shopping night tonight which means you will get a bargain too ;)

          Goodluck!
          If not look on ebay, some ebay sellers are getting pretty on trend with clothes these days.

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    • Anonymous

      This probably isn’t going to be helpful but colour jeans are a super fashionable item that is going to date very quickly so they are not going to bother making them in “normal” styles to fit every woman. It’s not worth the effort and cost if they are not going to be around for long. They are only going to make them in fashionable “young” styles i.e. skinny jeans to appeal to this crowd and then be done with them in a season.

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    • Jess

      Petal, I’m a size 16 and also had trouble finding coloured jeans that weren’t skinnies. I bought a red bootleg pair from ASOS :)

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      • Petal

        Thank you so much everyone! Yes, totally understand that they probably won’t be around next season, so don’t cater for everyone (arsehole retailers). Just had a look at ASOS and am thinking about the bootlegs. xx

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    • Lana

      Thanks Petal, I saw great red jeans at Cotton On. But believe me I am older than 40 (43) and I buy lots of my clothes at Sportsgirl. Give them a try

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      • Luc

        Walking through David Jones today I saw a really lovely pair of red jeans from Sportscraft – not what I’d normally go for, I always think of them is my mum’s clothes! But the denim was lovely and they were cut mid calf for summer wear. Think I might go back and investigate further.

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    • Wilsky

      Zara have fabulous red jeans in the Sydney store. All colurs. Great fit too.

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  27. Toots

    Mia – I’d love to know where you buy all these massive cups from for your tea?!?!?

    I either end up find nice ones or large ones, not nice large ones….

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    • rainbow

      T2 have awesome huge teacups with matching saucers

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      • therecipebinder

        Kitchenware Direct also have big teacups. I bought some nice Maxwell Williams ones from there which (I think) hold about 450mL.

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        • Toots

          Thanks ladies, I tend to prefer mugs ie thicker china to a teacup (too dainty for me!).
          I have seen those T2 ones though and they do look gorgeous!

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    • Joanne

      I was in ikea over the weekend and they have some tea buckets as well…

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      • Toots

        Ohhh IKEA. Ohhh tea buckets…

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  28. C

    Mia, i have to ask where do you get your tea cups from? they are always so pretty!

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  29. MikeyMike

    I received a mysterious 36 Euro charge from Hertz on my credit card. We rented a car in Italy back in June, and paid in full (I thought).

    I rang the card company, and they said it was probably a processing fee for a traffic infringement notice of some sort.

    Has anyone had a similar experience ?

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    • jj

      Apparently this is quite common. It has happened to my parents and also some of their friends after driving around Italy. I think it is because a lot of the small towns have strict guidelines about where cars can go and where they can park… but they don’t let you know until months after you’ve returned! V dodgy…

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    • edwina

      While planning a trip to Italy I read exactly about that in the Lonely Planet – that in some cities you can’t park in certain places (or something) but there’s no signs and no ticket, they just charge to your hire car company who eventually months later charge you – without any explanation. They said it could be up to 100 euro.

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    • Jh

      Yep! Exact same thing happened to myself and to my parents on a separate occasion…

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  30. qwerty

    I also like to drink out of a massive ‘vase’ when having tea or coffee, and when I get down halfway and its too cold for my liking, I microwave the rest!

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  31. Welcome Lucy!

    So far this week has been pretty ordinary, except for one cute detail. I got sick on unday afternoon, and have been struggling to keep food down pretty much ever since, even though i seem to be a little better today. The cute detail was that on monday i was so rotten i took a sick day, and my absent partner (damn military) told me that there would be a delivery to sign for, so i should keep an eye on the door. About an hour later, a flower delivery man arrived and gave me flowers and a super sweet card that my man had organised as a suprise for me :) . Seriously though, i have no other symptoms other than food and my stomach arent getting along, so surely it cant be a stomach bug…?

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    • Anonymous

      I had a similar thing for about 3 weeks. First night was vomiting no end so had to be rushed to the Emergency Room – cue 7 hr stay in the hospital. I had blood tests and all that and they think it was an infection. I had to have 2 injections to stop the vomiting and a drip.

      Then proceeded to be ill for another 3 weeks, I barely ate anything as I would always feel nauseated. Finally went to the doctor about it. He thought I had giardia so gave me super strong antibiotics in one dose to get it. Seems to have done the job.

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      • cmincanberraland

        Thanks Anonymous! It seems to have stabilised for a little while at least, so hopefully im on the ‘up’ – but if not, i will probably bute the bullet and see my GP about it. xx

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  32. An Idle Dad

    Welcome Lucy. Best and Worst this Friday is yours I do believe.

    Do you have a ‘best’ lined up?

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  33. Kylie L

    I am travelling to Bali on Friday.
    I am leaving my kids and husband at home and going with some school mummy friends.
    I have NO IDEA where we are staying because I let them organise all that, but you know what? It could be the Travelodge at Tullamarine and as long as I had a book and a bar I’d be happy…. NO SCHOOL LUNCHES TO MAKE FOR EIGHT DAYS!

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  34. blossom

    I have decided to stop commenting as a guest and sign up – only fair since I’m on the Mamamia website about 345 times a day :-) I have posted as ‘Too Sad’ and as ‘Besties’ recently and now I shall use the same name each time – Blossom is me :-)

    I have a few things I’m wondering:-

    How do I stop the sugar and carb cravings each day that are putting on kilos?
    Is soy milk really better than cows when it has sugar in it?
    I wonder if I won the Baileys competition recently? I had 66 likes – thanks all you lovely people.

    My best friend with cancer is still hanging in there. She sleeps most of the time. This weekend we’re off to visit another dear friend who also has terminal cancer – a five hour drive but we’ll be able to spend a few days just being together.

    Apart from that, the weather is beautiful here and I am grateful for my beautiful funny clever babies!

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    • rainbow

      i would email lana, i think you won! i sure hope you did anyway!
      welcome!

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    • edlie

      1) go cold turkey. not just added sugar but hidden sugar. What helps the cravings (first 2 weeks are tough) are healthy fats and proteins at every meal aka LSA with sugar free yoghhurt at brekkie, nuts for snack, salad with chicken and avocado for lunch, nuts again, dinner similar to lunch.
      its tough but increase the fats and proteins at every meal and youll be ok in 2 weeks.

      2) soy milk is pretty dodge. Organic dairy is your best bet, although v expensive but worth it. Do some research and look into it, but soy causes a number of problems and has been linked to the increase in reproductive cancers in women – breast ovarian etc.

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      • redballoon

        I want to second the dodge call on soy milk.

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    • Natalia

      You did win, congrats! Email lana@mamamia.com.au xx

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    • Blossom, if you want to cut out the sugar, you should poke around for David Gillespie’s book “Sweet Poison”. I did his extreme version for about 9 months and it sucked, but I definately am very aware of added sugars in foods now, like I avoid flavoured yoghurt, and basically all cereal, I just make my own granola at home. I just couldn’t live without my treats!

      I would never advocate drinking soy, it has loads of sugar in it, David does recommend non cows milk if you are intolerant that has relatively low sugar. It is one of those ‘added sugar’ traps.

      So sorry to hear about your friend. I hope her remaining time is peaceful. My father too died of cancer when I was 19, so I know what you are going through. Best wishes at this sad time.

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  35. I just clicked on Lucinda’s link and saw she has written a few articles for MM, and looked at the one about her still living at home at age 23…Good article, but YIKES is all I can say regarding the comments! Hope that everyone is gentle with you for awhile now you’re a full time staffer Lucinda!

    This week, I am very concerned about a friend of mine. She is in a relationship with a guy, she lives with him and he owns the house they live in, but insists on them having joint finances (because he can’t pay the mortgage without her income). He is frankly, a very very awful person. She is very talented and successful woman and he is less successful in a less qualified career.

    He tells her she is stupid and told her recently that she has only been successful in her career thus far because she ‘wears short skirts’. He also does nothing around the house, doesn’t help her at all, and is generally, as far as I am concerned, a big loser with no respect for women. She nearly left awhile ago, but he convinced her to stay.

    I really just want to shake her and be like ‘back your bags and just leave’. I have been hinting and suggesting at it, but she is reluctant because she loves him. Sigh, I suppose, if only things were as easy as ‘stay or go’.

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    • Lucy Ormonde

      Thanks whippersnapper. I’ve had to move out of home now that I’m living in Sydney, but I still think believe what I said in that post!

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  36. Tripitaka

    My daughter is starting school next year, and we’re moving to a new area where we won’t know anyone. The school that she is probably going to go to has 6 kindy classes. Is that huge? It seems enormous to me, as the school I went to had just 2. The actual class sizes are fine – about 20 kids per class – so there’s about 120 kids to each year. I was wondering if anyone has thoughts about pros and cons of large primary schools? I guess my concern is that if the classes get mixed up a lot each year then it could be hard to maintain friendships. But I’m assuming the school also has practices in place to deal with these things.. Anyway, I will find out more at the parent evening and orientation days, but was hoping to hear some thoughts from the MM readers.

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    • michaelaj

      My daughters school has 4 full kindy classes and a composite kindy/1 class.
      She seems to have many friends spread throughout the classes and the teachers seem to do some team teaching where a couple of the classes will join together for different things ensuring the children mix. The school also does a Friday fun so on friday afternoons the children mix with their own grades and with some older children. Seems to work well.

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  37. girly

    Ohh Lana I might have to steal those jeans off you! I LOVE pink. I hope they also have a pair of purple ones.. must.. have.. them..

    On another note, here are a few things making me deliriously happy.

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  38. Melissa J

    Wow that Dove ad is amazing.
    I have a question, HOW do get your post it notes to stick to the wall? I always write post it phone messages and then find them on the floor ten minutes later.
    Perhaps I’m buying shit quality post its.

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  39. ashamasha

    LOVE the pink jeans! they are the exact same colour of my new favourite lipstick…if my legs weren’t shaped like chicken drumsticks, it’d be on like Donkey Kong!

    Is it wrong that I want the Dove team to do that video to me, so I could check out how hot I might be in bizarro world?

    …..hmmmm need to get that ipad thingo for my apple obsessed besties 40th methinks….

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    • ashamasha

      OH! and WELCOME to Lucinda! good luck & congratulations :)

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      • Lucy Ormonde

        Thanks ashamasha! I’m very excited – and slightly terrified – to be here :)

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  40. Becnherboys

    Loving the iPad cover and the coloured jeans! I have added both to my US shopping list! Only 44 days until our trip!
    So excited to see that Paula will be on Mamamia this week! She makes me want to be a more stylish person!
    Off to look for some “arm candy” now…

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  41. Jessiegirl

    I have had a horrible week so far… Boyfriend broke up with me on Saturday. Before this he had just been such a wonderful guy – always saying THE NICEST things to me and his actions always matched his words. In his break-up he basically said that even though he was saying/doing those things he just was saying to himself in his head “you don’t want to be in a relationship.” BUT he kept doing them – e.g. him planning weekends away (that now won’t happen), talking about trips we will take, talking about engagement rings, sending flowers to my work, meeting parents and extended families… I could go on and on. So I was completely blind-sided and I’m just simply devastated. I feel like I was deceived and now what he was saying to me didn’t mean anything (although I just so hope it did at the time)…. I just feel so VERY SAD…. So it has ended with me deleting anything to do with him. I also feel really disappointed with myself – before him I was so happy spending time in my own company (I live alone) and I just LOVED it and now…. I just feel alone… How can it switch so quickly….

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    • Natalia

      Sending you hugs and strength xx

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    • Anon

      Sending you big hugs. My b/f did something similar, and it’s the hardest thing when you have no idea it’s coming. And I hear you – being lonely after being part of a couple is really difficult.

      x

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    • hannahfromsa

      big hugs Jessiegirl. How horrible

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  42. amy1

    Mia, seeing you have your geek on at the moment, do you know if they make the covers for the first iPad? Desperate to get my mits on one now…

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    • amy1

      Never fear, I found it!! Also welcome Lucy but I am a little disappointed you haven’t brought in your scones yet.

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      • Lucy Ormonde

        Ha! Thanks Amy, the scones will come soon…

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      • Mia

        YOU’RE disappointed?
        (no pressure Lucy)
        (maybe a little bit)
        ;)

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        • Lucy Ormonde

          I know what’s on my shopping list tonight…

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          • amy1

            Don’t forget the jam and cream. And none of that fake cream either!

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            • Pippa

              Amy & Lucy – age old debate, jam first or cream first?!xx

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  43. emelle

    I have a massive desire to go and work in Thailand – not sure on where exactly or what I would do, but it’s something that I am thinking about daily now. Is there anyone that has had any experience in doing this?

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  44. ladysarah

    1. I love that iPad cover. May need to get one.
    2. Hooray to more Sam De Brito. I love him!
    3. Anyone see Suzi Quatro on the circle this morning? (i’m on sick leave) But I think I fell in love with her a little more this morn. Odd considering I’m a 80′s baby! (Late 80′s)

    http://www.theyouthlife.net – My profile won’t let me update my website. Sorry for hijacking, Mia & Crew.

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    • When I was 8, watching Suzie Q in her black leather jumpsuit was one of the things that made me realise:

      1 – why girls existed
      2 – that I liked the fact girls existed…

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      • sarahlay

        Haha! I love it. I’ve seen older pictures of her. Not surprising JJ ;)

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        • Exhibit A:

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          • sarahlay

            HOT! She looks amazing!

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            • Yes…I think I just induced a second puberty on myself…

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    • Petal

      Ohhh, I love Suzi Quatro! When I was 10, I used to run a bubble bath, get my tape recorder out and listen to her whole tape! Yeah, yeah…Devilgate Drive!

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      • sarahlay

        I wasn’t in that age group unfortunately. But luckily I have a very music conscious mother who got me on to the goodies. Suzi, The Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, The Bangles etc..

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  45. Sparky

    Looking at those photos makes me finally, FINALLY realise that to some people ‘orange’ is an acceptable skin colour.

    It must be, because there are orange people everywhere and it doesn’t seem like anyone’s taking them aside to say “Hello, Friend. Orange is not a good look”.

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    • ella89

      I’m crazy pale so whenever I’m feeling too dealthy I add a little bronzer, then walk around all day thinking I’m bright orange (but photos tell me otherwise thank god!)
      Damn you yr.10 me thinking being orange tricked people into thinking I was tan lol

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      • Sparky

        I remember my first experience with orange. Coppertone Tan. 1989. No instructions. No suggestions to wash your hands after application.

        ;)

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  46. erinsing

    Mia, I have your same tea addiction/problem! I am always leaving cups of half full tea around the house and office – Haha, drives my partner nuts!

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  47. Another Day, Another Handbag

    Video: Can I suggest that every parent show this video to their kids
    I think everyone needs to see this video. I have a delusional husband with his opinion of what models look like in the un-Photoshopped world. Thanks for this – it could be an interesting night at home :-)

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  48. Lulu

    I have jeans in a range of colours: the whole spectrum from dark blue to black. :p

    No, I haven’t take up coloured jeans & I probably (make that definitely) won’t. I like keeping my pants in neutral colours.

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    • Lulu

      add: it’s not that I don’t like bright colours – just not in pants.

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  49. Jenny

    Lana you look so great! amazing legs, and the pink is a great colour!

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    • therecipebinder

      She does have great legs, doesn’t she! I’m rather jealous as I have the typical northern English tree-trunk legs and cankles. I can’t wear narrow legged stuff. *sob*

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