Welcome to the end of the week and another round of Best and Worst.
Our Friday Best and Worst post is your chance to come together and talk about the highs and the lows of your week – the best and worst bits. And indeed anything else that is on your mind.
This long standing tradition on Mamamia has created the most inspiring and wonderful community led, of course, by you – the readers. And so, in that spirit we are giving you the chance to host Best and Worst for us. Or with us.
If you’d like to have a chance to host, simply email info@mamamia.com.au with your full name, headshot and a short bio (include any links to your blog/Twitter etc).
We’ll email you back when a slot becomes open so that you can submit your best and worst. From there we’ll take it, load it and publish it.
First up is Jane – or as some of you might know her, Whippersnapper – to tell us her best and worst…
Jane writes:
Best: I’ve booked my flights to the USA and my holiday begins in exactly 7 weeks! Frantically trying to work out the cheapest central accommodation in New York (time consuming and I’m convinced, impossible!), co-ordinate my way around the public transport systems of 5 cities in the USA, download several iPhone apps that will help me navigate around, work out what exactly a Citypass is and which one to use, look up suitable pre-paid sim cards so that I’m able to access Twitter or Facebook no matter where I am! It is so exciting and my first overseas trip!
Worst: Stressing out about paying for the trip. I am so lucky my birthday is about 2 weeks before I leave, so I can ask for US dollars for my birthday, but I want to make sure I have loads of cash for sightseeing and touristy things and to spend at Sephora (thanks to Zoe Foster, I have a list typed out on my computer about 3 A4 pages long)! Also, those little hidden costs that come before you travel, i.e. getting a passport, I need an over the shoulder bag (my hand bag is not suitable and way too big), a US adapter, proper walking shoes (apparently, my Wittner ballet flats will not be suitable!).
OMM: I am so lucky that this is my best and worst for the week. How incredibly blessed and lucky am I?!
Jane is a lawyer in Brisbane. You can read her blog on all things baking and reading here.
How has your week been, what were the best and worst things that happened to you ?
Comments
253 Comments so far
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Best: Having (what might be my last) work project aclaimed a great success, and being praised for my efforts.
Worst: Knowing I go to work on Monday to find out if it will indeed be my last work project due to being made redundant.
Thanks for your efforts, now save us a lot of money and go join the ranks of the unemployed.
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Team Im gonna try this for some advice. Father of 3, 2x boys 21 yr old, 16 old and 14 yr old girl. Worst. Caught out the girl drinking at her mums house when she told me she was at her friends going to movies. Asked to speak to friends mum and was given a mobile that I called and was told all ok, the mums picking them up. You guessed it. Sounded like and was anothet 14 yr old girl. In the ensuing phone calls I heard other voices in background. I drove back from my girlfriends Gold Coast to Brisbane (where I live) at midnight picked them up where lies continued and told boys voices in background were some 19 yr old boys who they didnt know but were at exwifes house when they got back from movies (which they never went to…confirmed later). So stop off at copshop to scare them into telling truth about boys or worse it is the truth and 2 14 yr old girls walked in on 2 men who broke into exwifes house… More lies, no they werent in the house they were on lawn and left when we arrived and we dont know them. Cops say no offence committed and they cant do anything about it?. Get back in car at cops and asked friend for mums proper number. Refused and she got out of car at copshop. So I told cops their problem. Made sure she gave them some details and they said they would take her home to her Nans. Came home with my daughter who still wont tell me who else was with them so cybershamed her on fb by saying everything that happened and saying I want to know who else was there. One response so far…my oldest son saying keep family shit in family. Oh and I have since found the parents number of the friend and Im gonna call them. So far my resolve has been, stopped at a party down the road from exs which was for a kid at same school and shamed my daughter by saying Im gonna find out who was with the girls (Im still not sure if they went to that party but its too coincidental) ,from now on daughter is with me every Fri and Sat, and gonna make sure all her friends know what kind of father I am. And tell exwife what Ive been told the kids are doing on weekend. We dont talk really (another issue for another day) and this situation happened because we both were told different things.
Best moment. Knowing your kids are crap at lying and being deceptive. Having a girlfriend you can leave in middle of night who understands.
Team am I doing the right thing and if not some advice please. Ps I am a 107 kilo maori guy. I was ropeable and fuming at the time so my tone to kids at party and to cops and to girls themselves was heavyhanded. Had a sleep so have calmed down a bit. Thanks for all. Bigdogdad
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Hey bigdogdad
I’ve got kids of a similar age. Are you going to enforce any consequences such as grounding for a few weeks, depriviation of mobile/ipod/ps3 or some other gadget they can’t live without?
I would recommend this tough love stance rather than ranting on Facebook – although it is good to vent – probably best not to do it in a public forum.
Good luck, sounds like you’re a good dad.
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you sound like a caring dad. you sound like you did all you could, but i think you are right you have to tone it down and keep your daughter on side as much as possible.
i would try to speak to the other parents if you can, and try to get her mum on side too.
one thing you often hear about it harm minimisation. i suppose make sure your daughter and her friends are looking out for each other, have mobiles to call for help etc. one thing to say to her is that she can call you if she is any trouble any time of the night or day. that way she will hopefully avoid trouble.
good-luck, i am a few years of this and i am bloody dreading it. i was no angel as a teen.
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Hi bigdogdad,
Your delivery needs some tinkering but I love your intent. She’s a lucky girl to have a dad who cares so much – I hear too many stories of kids being appallingly under-parented and getting in horrendous and dangerous situations.
14 is so so young and I keep mine (a girl also) super-close at all times. She’s only been to two mixed-sex parties and I only allowed her to stay after essentially interrogating (!) the parents about how they were going to manage the risk of alcohol consumption, the kids trying to hook up, the gate-crashers etc and feeling satisfied they were across it all (one had a breathalyser and a drug-testing kit and would use it if she felt the need! That’s raised the bar!). She came home safely but I told her not to ask to go again for at least six months as I can’t see any real value in them and too many risks.
I trust very few parents to parent the way I do (because I see too many instances of poor parenting) and hence most outings start from our house, I drop and collect them from the destination (except for day-time trips to the movies where she can take the bus) and sleep-overs are mostly held at ours. I often text other parents to confirm that their take on the day’s plans is the same as mine. I set her FB password and check her page and especially her Messages very regularly (so I can monitor her live chat conversations) and I know her mobile password and read her text conversations regularly to check they’re appropriate.
I’m the ultimate Fun Police hey? But who cares – it’s my job, I love her too much and I WILL get her to at least 18 with her self-esteem, self-respect and reputation intact. Not necessarily her virginity but that’s a whole other reply.
Sorry for the rant and I didn’t mean to make it all about me but I just wanted to show how another tough-lover approaches it. Keep at it (I’d definitely take it a lot more private…) and try try try to explain to her why you’re setting the various rules and parameters and that one of the primary reasons is that she’s far too precious to you to not do so. I promise (PROMISE) you one day she will understand and appreciate it – at least when she has kids of her own if not a lot sooner.
BTW, isn’t underage drinking an offence? Couldn’t the police at least have cautioned her about that? Seems a wasted opportunity to back up a well-intentioned parent.
Huge good luck with it all hey…
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I think it is admirable that you care so much. You sound a bit like my Dad. I think you did the right thing. If you don’t put in the effort to protect your kids from themselves, who will?! They might thank you one day.
Best of luck.
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Best: The Thai cookbook that my hubby wrote to help me fundraise for a local wellbeing challenge arrived last night. It looks fantastic and for something that we did in its entirety in 3 weeks, it has turned out so well. We have done it all ourselves (cook, photograph and write) with a lovely printing company donating their printing costs. We have had heaps of orders already and I’m hoping that all 200 books will sell so that the aged care causes the challenge supports will get $2000
Worst: Total FWP – we went with a spiral bound book so that it will sit flat when cooking but the spirals have gone through the start of the first word of the title. It annoys me LOL.
Check out the books Facebook page if you would like a sticky – Chillies Optional
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Best 1: Had a lovely Valentine’s Day dinner with the manfriend. We went to a wine and tapas bar in Yarraville then went to Williamstown for ice cream
Best 2: Had a great Ethiopian dinner with friends at Kensington last night- what a great experience!
Worst: Dramas at work. Very frustrating but it can only get better.
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It has been such an up and down week this week. Nothing and has been been best or worst just another week gone by. I have made some fantsic things in the kitchen.. Hedgehog slice, double choc chip cookies, mini lemon meringue pies and for mums bdirthday… A caramel cheesecake with caramel sauce and banana. DIVINE!!!
I have struggled a bit with my boyfriend and with the loss of my nan. But at the same time loving my job to bits and being thankful that after quitting my otherjob before christmas I can finally be happy at work! A big relief.
Finally, i am stressing big time about having enough money for my trip. I am not getting enough work so…. To any mmers out there in melbourne.. If anyone needs a worker in the next 6 weeks i am freeee! I love babysitting too… How can I add myself to the directory?
Love to all I hope you are having a great weekend xx
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Whippersnapper!
Am so so SO excited for you re your upcoming trip!
You are going to have SUCH an awesome time!
I wrote an email ages ago, after my first trip to NYC, for a friend who was about to go there for her first time too. It may be slightly outdated but basic stuff will still apply…..Even though my blog’s a food one, I decided to shove this email on there as a post as heaps of friends kept asking to see it. hope it helps!
http://phoodie.wordpress.com/category/new-york/
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I’ve just printed it off! Thanks Phoodie
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Best: Wedding is in 6 weeks (seeing heaps of fam that live interstate, good food, honeymoon to NZ, making it “official” after 10 years!)
Worst: Wedding is in 6 weeks (all the exciting stuff has been organised and now it’s just the tedious stuff left to work out, arranging which fam is staying where, paying the balance for our reception, everyone asking if I’m nervous and then giving me knowing smiles when I say no, because they don’t believe me…)
Good times!
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Best: Got nearly everything done for my wedding in 5 weeks and am sleeping much better not stressing about invites, centrepieces etc
Worst: 5 weeks to the wedding and I can’t wait!
Jane, have a fantastic time overseas!! I am a regular reader but don’t comment much but I always love reading your comments, you seem to say what i’m thinking a lot of the time. Oh and i’m a legal assistant, working in the same kind of area as what you do, from what i can gather, but on the other side!
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The dark side, aka plaintiff work?
haha! Just kidding of course. Best of luck for your wedding you lucky duck!
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It is really unfortunate that you feel this way, and are obviously unable to either appreciate the opportunity you have to pursue tertiary education, or have compassion for people in desperate situations.
No one chooses to be an asylum seeker. People would prefer to stay in their home country, but it gets difficult with the persecution and their lives being at risk…
And $10k is a drop in the ocean compared to what Australia spends on mandatory detention (which costs over $100k per year per detainee) http://www.crikey.com.au/2011/08/17/detention-centre-cost-of-asylum-seekers/
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Was that in response to someone further down?
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Yeah, not sure why my response turned up here as well as below…sorry about the confusion though!
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Yes I agree, lets have our hard earned tax money used to foster their lifestyles. Meanwhile people living in tents in Australia are forgotten. Keep working hard Amy S to support the asylum seekers.. I am glad they are all being looked after well.
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Hi MMers – great post Jane aka whippersnipper! Hope you enjoy your trip.
Best: Have found a fab babysitter. A family friend of my husbands who is looking for work & is great with children – even studing early childhood. Hubby works monster hours, leaving me & boys at home. I dont mind usually but need a break often so this babysitter is the answer! We have our mums to help, but sometimes they need a break too!!
Worst: Ok last minute dinner planned tomorrow night with some old friends. They booked the early sitting ie 6.15pm. I’m working tomorrow then have to pick up boys from mums then get ready etc. I wont make 6.15pm. Hubby also working & cannot be home early to help. My so called friends are acting like moving this dinner back is an inconvience and a hassle. Seriously, are we in high school anymore? No. I feel like they want me to miss out or something…..god I dont know wether I’m angry, hurt or sad or just realising that our lives have been moving in different directions for a while…..maybe I should let it move and have some distance……so over it!
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Best: taking my 2yr old nephew to the beach, his eyes light up so excited to be there, and when we are playing in the water he puts his hands on my face and says “me loves you” he makes my heart melt !
Worst: I’m moving out of my much loved apartment that I’m regretting renting out, but the money in return will make me feel better I hope !
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Worst: Ah black dog, you are very hard to deal with sometimes! Going well with counselling but it is so exhausting, mentally im drained for days after. First world problem – at least I can afford psych.
Best: Trip to Bali in June! Best surprise from the boy
And of course this one…. last photo i promise! Imagine what I’ll be like with a baby!
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Oh my GOD – cutest lil pup!
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JANE!!!!!!!!
Hotel 31 and Hotel 17 in New York. I’ve stayed at both properties several times. They’re cheap, clean, basic accommodation. Nothing flashy but really good value (and VERY VERY CLEAN). You’re in NY … you’ll never be in your hotel room.
http://www.hotel17ny.com/
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BEC!!! How is your beautiful new little boy?
We just booked our accomodation today – the Metro Apartments on 42nd street! We are sharing with Mr W’s little brother (Junior Mr W!), so it ended up being fairly cheap for the three of us, like $96 each a night or something. PHEW!!
Aannnnnnnnd we booked the Wynn in Las Vegas, it was on sale and it is so flash, I think I will roll around in the luxury pretending we’re rich!
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Oh good work with the accommodation! Take loads of photos. And why don’t you think about writing us a travel story when you get back?
As for Fin … he is just divine. My heart bursts just looking at him. He’s currently lying next to me (in his basinette) snuffling away. I’m like a stalker … always staring at him and taking photos of him when he’s asleep! xxxx
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Oh Bec, that is so beautiful. I’m so excited for you!
I’ll definitely keep notes for a story for when I get back! Still so long to go, 7 more weeks!
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yes I love this time of week!
best – it’s little and silly, but I feel fabulous because I bought the CUTEST bras today at la senza, they were reduced by heaps and they are the first ‘nice’ bras I’ve ever had…sharing your friends bras doesn’t count
no more ugly grey functional bras for me woohoo!
best #2 – went out with my closest girlfriends last night, love them to bits, life will take us far (and it has already!) but we always seem to migrate back together.
best #3 – getting my insulin pump in 5 weeks! It’s so much sooner than I thought and it’s going to make my life a whole lot easier – exercise, weight loss, and just having a flexible life will be so much easier!
not really any worsts! weight loss is at a standstill, but once I get the pump that should accelerate my efforts, so I’m not getting too down on that
lots of love and positive thoughts to the MM community!
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We’ve just been told by the travel agent they don’t book internal flights within the US…so MMers, for the 5pm rush, best place to book internal (cheap!) flights within the US?!!
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I booked all of mine through Orbitz when I went there in 2010
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http://www.skyscanner.net is fab for checking prices, then booking direct with the airline. xx
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PS..what is this about asylum seekers getting a $10,000 package? seriously WTF??!!! my husband and i are working our butts off to pay $6000 EVERY semester for his studies this year (currently waiting on our spousal visa to get processed he is on a student visa) this makes me so angry we are working sooo hard and the immigration do NOTHING to help us at all!! and the government is giving away free money to these ppl who cheated and came illegal into the country…that is not fair for those of us who are struggling and doing the right thing!
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I agree it is shocking, but you will find most people on this site will we think you are racist for getting a little angry about it all. I just read about another family living in a tent. 6 month wait for a commission home. We no longer are the lucky country. We are a free ride to the good life for the seekers.
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It’s been going on for decades. The majority of housing commission is taken up by immigrants who get their very cheap home, don’t work and they bring out their families and they get housing commission and don’t work.
Meanwhile there are elderly Australians who have worked their arses off for decades and can’t afford the private rental market but have to wait many years for housing commission to come up. We have screwed this country up seriously.
We have also completely lost the wonderful digger personalities. I don’t want to get into a racial fight, these are the facts.
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Verifiable statistics please? Or did you get your info from Today Tonight?
Such bullshit. (Sorry about the swearing guys, but sometimes it is called for)
And yeah, I would be saying this to you at a dinner party.
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Amy, my mother lost her job, her health lost her home and was told by Centrelink that she was on a waiting list 8 years for a Commission home, WHY….because these people coming into our country need to be accounted for… Dont be daft….
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Hi Anonymous,
I am sorry for what your Mum is going through. That sounds really difficult. Is she going ok now?
Perhaps we should just agree to disagree? This is obviously quite a personal issue for you and your Mum, and I don’t want to cause any offence by continuing to argue the point.
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Anonymous I’m sorry your Mother is going through a tough time. However I would encourage her to contact a social worker through one of her community health departments. They will be able to assist her.
I’ve worked in community health for a few years and met alot of people in community housing. Very few of them are refugees. Very few. I know your perspective is skewed because of your hardships, but please don’t blame a very small percentage of the population.
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Amy, and what statistic do you have to prove that I am incorrect? I have met with many, many immigrants as part of my job and my claim is based on this experience.
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You do know that it is not illegal for people seeking asylum or refugee status to travel to a country to do so, don’t you?
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I am so happy to hear that so many of you are glad to have your tax money spent setting up these people. You are so generous. What lovely people you are.
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thanks!
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You know this money is for those SEEKING ASYLUM FROM PERSECUTION – WHICH IS LEGAL – and to help them establish themselves as active citizens in our country.
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Only a very small percentage of them are really asylum seekers.
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Actually it’s the other way around, the majority of asylum seekers are found to be genuine.
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It’s not the asylum seekers I’m referring to – it’s the migrants and their families. Genuine asylum seekers of course need our support and care. But when there are thousands of Australians, elderly people, who are homeless it just doesn’t make sense. Are you aware of the high proportion of immigrants who are in housing commission? It is a very high proportion, over 65%. They choose not to work, or work for cash, and live in housing commission then they bring their family members out here and the process is repeated.
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Mimi please read this article from the SMH which clearly explains that asylum seekers are NOT receiving $10000 welcome packages at all. Yet another beat up from those who love scaremongering.
http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-national/government-defends-asylum-seeker-help-20120217-1tcfs.html
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You are complaining about paying for the privilege of tertiary education?!! I am sure those who flee their own countries so they are not persecuted and/or killed really feel your pain.
This attitude makes me so angry. Be thankful for what you have, and glad you did not have to get on a leaky boat because that was your only option of a chance at freedom.
Plus it is not illegal to seek asylum, and $10,000 is a drop in the bucket compared to what Australia spends on keeping asylum seekers locked up in mandatory detention. http://www.crikey.com.au/2011/08/17/detention-centre-cost-of-asylum-seekers/
But why let facts get in the way of a good ‘what about me’ whinge?
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We are the lucky country, asylum seekers come here to fulfill their dream, a home, 10,000 worth of goods to fill their newly acquired home and a lifetime of centrelink payments. .. Amy S , I am so happy to hear your families tax is going to support their lifestyles.. Good for you for being so accommodating Hoping they get a LEXUS car to drive ,… good family car…safe and luxurious…..
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Hey not sure if you are the ‘anonymous’ from further up or not. I am going to assume not.
Anyhow, you are quite convinced of your position, and nothing I can say can change your mind. For anyone else reading your sarcastic comment though, and thinking they you may have some good points, I would like to note the following:
- Asylum seekers are not eligible for Centrelink, and often not allowed to work.
- If they are found to be genuine asylum seekers, and granted refugee status (a process that takes up to 10 years or more), then they are entitled to the same work and benefit rights as other Australians.
- More than 80% of asylum seekers who arrive by boat are found to be genuine and granted refugee status.
I love Australia and I do believe I am very fortunate to have been born here, with all the privilege that comes with it. (free education, free healthcare, allowed to vote in democratic elections etc). I do think we are the lucky country. But I also find it shameful how badly we treat asylum seekers.
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You know what I am so happy that they are given plenty. Yesterday I heard Muslims wanted entitlements to travel back to their home town to meet up with their families.. I hope they get their freebies. I would hate for new Aussies to come here and not feel that we are accommodating their needs. Hope they also get that Lexus…..
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Hey Amy, can you drop the aggression, it’s not necessary.
My father served in the second world war and my mother worked in factories like a slave and looked after three children on her own without any family support, whilst my dad was serving.
When he returned from the war he was very damaged. We all suffered because of that. Yet he started work immediately and my mum continued working full time in the factory.
NEither of them had a day off ever. They sent us to private school and paid off a mortgage on a little house.
So don’t tell me that I’m lucky – my parents worked their arses off.
Immigrants don’t work, they take the housing commission and take us for a ride. They go immediately onto Centrelink and that’s the way they live their lives. They don’t want to work. They’re laughing, it’s an absolute lurk. I’ve met with them, I’ve spoken with them.
I’m not talking about the genuine refugees, there are thousands of immigrants who come here who are not asylum seekers.
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Hi Sydgrl.
You are right. Upon reflection I was too aggressive, and it wasn’t necessary. I was just frustrated and I should have thought a bit more before I commented.
I guess we see things differently and I am sorry to hear about the troubles your family has had.
I just wish we could hear more stories about the immigrants who have had a positive time in Australia. Like my friends who are serbian refugees. They are now citizens of Australia and have just bought their first home. They are pretty happy that they don’t live in a refugee camp anymore.
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I am sorry that you are doing it tough at the moment. I commend you both for working and studying, it is hard. However I am saddened that you have no empathy and compassion for those doing it a bit tougher than you. If you read the actual media reports, and not listen to the shock jocks, you will realise that they are not receiving $10,000 cash to live it up in luxury. They are receiving a fridge, a couch, a bed, a baby’s cot. Hardly luxury. These are people who have suffered unfathomable hardships to come here (legally). I think a bed is the least we can give them.
Yes our society isn’t perfect. I’m moaning about having to fork out thousands of dollars of my own money for medical bills. But I have the ability to do so. I do NOT blame a refugee for my own hardships. I take responsibility for my own situation, and I try to help others when I can. Paying tax, and helping other people, is just part of that, and part of being a socially inclusive society. If you cannot accept that, the perhaps it is you who should think twice about your residency.
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Hey oopsy, you can and have said it much better than I could!
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Love your blog Jane …..baking is such a ‘strong’ point with me …thank goodness you take after your Dad’s family when it comes to the kitchen!!
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Worst: I’ll start with my worst, sleeping – its all I can think about… My nearly two year old has started waking up at night again and it is taking hours to get her back to sleep. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and not sleeping well apart from this and I am just totally exhausted. I am already finding myself getting frustrated with her, which I never really have before, and I’m freaking out about what I’m going to do then the new baby comes.
Best: I’m 36 weeks pregnant! All is great and I’m really excited to meet the bubba. My girl is excited too and is going to be the best big sister She is so cute – lucky for her!!!
OMM: Am I am increased risk of PND brining a baby into a no sleep environment? I know I really need to try and look after myself for the sake of my family, but it’s so hard.
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Hi Kerr, I had this problem with my eldest. In the end we put a mattress on the floor beside our bed so if she woke up I could reach out and pat her and then she would go back to sleep again. This solution might not be for everyone but it worked for us. She finally slept through the night and could stay in her own room when she was 4 (gulp, I probably shouldn’t have told you that.) Good luck! I will never forget those years. Sleep deprivation is a form of war torture.
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Hi Kerr,
You have my complete sympathy on the sleep deprivation front. Torture.
Some suggestions:
Sleep school- those sleep specialists are amazing and will give you some great advice. They really consider the whole family’s needs
Friends/relatives- is there anyone you can rely on to look after miss 2 while you sleep during the day? It will be great for all of you.
Obstetrician and local health centre for post natal care- especially if PND is on your mind. See what resources they can offer prior to the birth.
And remember you are doing a great job.
Good luck and sleep well.
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Thank you both for your replies. Sometimes the best thing is just to know that you are not the only one going through it. Which I do know, but quite often forget in the wee hours.
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Kerr you are DEFINITELY not alone!
I’m with u all the way on this one…… I have an almost 2 yo and a 4 month old. 2 year old is brilliant sleeper, 4 mo was amazing for 3 1/2 months and has recently decided to keep me up all night! It’s actually nauseating sometimes…..literally makes u feel v v v sick. It is very hard but the beauty of having a child already is that you learn everything passes and sleep will return one day…
Thoughts w you and best of luck w the rest if pregnancy, the birth and beyond!
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Best: feeling great the last two days. I even went to the gym yesterday and had a great workout (might have got my heartrate a teensy bit too high but it’s all good).
Worst: Still worried about when/if things will get worse. I was really sick last weekend and that scared me a lot. I’m also worrying about hair loss as this morning I have a very sore spot on top of my head.
Best: Met up with the lovely, brave, @Faybian today. My children destroyed her house and tested out her trampoline while we had a good ole natter. I find it incredible that I was able to meet her through Mamamia and so give me such support.
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so lovely you two got together! take care you two x
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Worst: how do you know if you’re supposed to be with someone or not? I’m confused. Been on and off with my partner for about three years (I’m the on/off one, he’s very constant). He’s a wonderful, amazing person, but I’m still not sure he’s right for me. How long are you supposed to wait? Do people just know?
Best: Revenge (the TV show not the concept), coffee, friends and my bed.
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Do you admire this person?
Do you want to be more like this person?
Do you want your children to be like this person?
Yes to all three? It’s on.
Not yes to all three? It’s not on.
love Lottie
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Hi Lottie,
Thanks for your reply. The answer is yes to all three of your questions. The next question is: when the answer is yes to all three, and you’re still not sure, what then?
xx
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Hmmm, I dunno.
Maybe, can you imagine your life without this person? ie not in your life at all ever again. What would you be doing? Can you see it at all?
If you are still unsure, go with your gut (not anyboby else’s)
Why are you walking away, when you do walk away, and what changes that brings you back?
At some point, I think long-term commitment is a leap of faith no matter what you feel
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Worst: We’ve had a deposit on a block of land for 18 months and it should be almost time to build. Unfortunately the developer is very slow, and it looks like we will not be able to build for several more months (which will break the contract) which throws out our plans for our son starting school next year (the block is in a completely new area not close to out current home). Funnily enough, we both feel kind of relieved about this – that maybe we have an out and we’re not unhappy about that? Very confusing.
Best: Finding that homes in an area in between the old and new place are well within our budget and getting excited about the prospect of buying a house there instead. There are so many lovely homes, in a gorgeous area with great schools, closer to our work places and an ideal village for our family to live in. Now to wait and see if the developer gets the certification on time, or whether they exceed the contracted date and we can rescind…..
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Not sure if it’s suitable to you but have you looked at the amazing new pre-fab housing companies? Their designs are stunning & affordable and you don’t go thru the horrendous trauma of building.
One good one is Archiblox http://www.archiblox.com.au. Another is Modscape http://www.modscape.com.au/
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oh jane that is so exciting for you! Your going to fall in love with NYC!!! make sure u go to Lombardi’s in Soho if you want amaaazing pizza!!
Worst: long draaging week at work..nothing to exciting happening so glad its Friday!!
Best: romantic dinners with my husband and spending quality time together
shoe shopping this weekend! going to get 2 new pairs! sparkly heels and leopard print flats for autumn/winter and also celebrating Carnival this weekend with my husband and his brasilian friends!!
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Best: Had amnio and results are a perfect little baby! So I’m now publicly pregnant which is FABULOUS after having to keep it a secret for so long. Turns out work new all along.. (when the men start to guess, you know it must be obvious!).
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Congratulations. That’s awesome news!
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First of all great post Jane! I’m excited for you for this trip! Don’t stress about things and I hope my list of recommendations I sent you helps out
Best – have been working part time as an assistant in these cooking classes, with different chefs. Have done 3 classes so far, French bistro, gnocchi and just tonight a Spanish tapas class. For those who know me they know I love cooking so I love doing this part time! Plus the chefs I get to work with are so nice
Also getting my haircut after 5 months! It’s always hard moving overseas and having to find all new everythings and hairdressers are so important! I founds one when we first got here but wasn’t happy so now 5months later Im dying for a cut and can’t wait! (fingers crossed it all goes well!
Worst – missing family lots.
OMM- Found out the people who are currently renting out our house back home night not want to stay on so now have to decide do we rent out again or sell?
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As someone who used to work helping people when they got into trouble while traveling PLEASE make sure that you take out travel insurance! It may seem like a waste of money (although it’s really not much), but you never know if you will be sick or get injured, if someone will steal your luggage or if you will lose you bag in transit somewhere. If your flight is cancelled or delayed, travel insurance can also help covering the cost of emergency accommodation.
It really is true: “if you can’t afford travel insurance, you can’t afford to travel”.
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Already done, Cait! I would never EVER travel without travel insurance !
The $200 or so we paid is nothing compared to what we could have to pay if something happened!
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Hi Whippersnapper,
I made a comment before but I’m not sure where it has gone?
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K, email me at nat@mamamia.com.au and I will help! Thanks so much. x
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No worries Nat – it was obviously an offensive comment. Didn’t mean to offend, was just asking out of concern.
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Hi K, it was not offensive at all, but there is a reason. If you are who I think you are on twitter, I’ve sent you a DM.
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Thank you K, I understand, all sorted now
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Oh good! I thought I had made a nasty comment by mistake!! Not me on twitter, but I do like reading your blog and am a mum so just looking out for you!
x
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Haha I know, I just got a reply going “what are you talking about??”. Thank you for your comments though, I had a freak out and then a big tidy up after I saw it
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I really want to know what it said now!! Email me
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Hehe I am dying to know what was written now…I am twitter girl but not the right K who posted comments.
Think I got the gist but was stressed for a minute that a comment someone thought I wrote was being deleted & offended. But all good.
I have had a comment deleted before though. Was part of a thread that turned sour…at least I hope that was the reason
Very excited to see Whippersnapper hosting best & worst !!
OMM: Boys. Come on, mind – you can do better than that. Off to go do something intelligent & worthwhile now. No more thoughts of boys for today
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My husband and I moved here last April we bought one way tickets and had no travel insurance. A week after we arrived my husband got appendicitis! His boss was meant to have put us on the company health insurance but hadn’t done it yet so we got a massive bill I’m talking over $10,000! But we were able to work through things but still ended up paying $1000 out of pocket!
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Best- Hearing the Asylum seekers get $10,000 welcome pack to this country.
Worst – Hearing another Aussie family of 6 living in a tent
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Anonymous I think you might have your facts wrong. They don’t just get handed $10000 cash as a welcome to Australia… this article explains
http://news.smh.com.au/breaking-news-national/government-defends-asylum-seeker-help-20120217-1tcfs.html
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Best : delicious newborn cuddles with my niece, i adore her, my god how i love newborns, i never wanted to put her down. I would always have a newborn if i could (i know this is borderline outright loonatic talk…you can tell ive forgotten just how hard it can be!!)
best #2 : as always, my son just lights up every day, he is just so funny and fun to be around.
Worst: period this week, good because my body is always unpredictable with PCOS so just knowing that its doing SOMETHING is a great thing. But bad because it means another month of not being pregnant. up to month 8 now, im starting to get that panicky feeling that its gunna take years again.
its hilarious to me now that before we started trying for kids, before we’d ever heard of PCOS, my hubby and i had it all planned out – we’d have our first two kids within two years of each other, and then wait 3 years and then have another two kids really close in age. by that schedule and trying from the same time, we would already have two kids, we would have had a lovely gap of not trying and be almost ready to start trying again for number 3 and 4!!!!!
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Don’t give up trying Anna Sparkle I have my finger and toes crossed that next month you’re late and you see those two stripes on that stick.
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Nice work, Whippersnapper!
Sorry MMers – my worst outweighs my best…drama button warning now.
My best has been just started a new contract. The people are lovely, the work is interesting and the pay is good. Its been a pleasant distraction.
My worst is – split with bloke for good. Turns out the big issue is that we have a problem, we fight – he shuts down for a week, so at best we have a blissful week – week and a half out of a month. Not a healthy cycle. He just thinks i dont like his kids. Im just tired of him considering sitting two kids in two different rooms on separate computers playing games – now each with headphones – for 16 hours out of 24 is parenting. It is harm minimisation at best. He gave them chores – then after two days he told the 13 year old girl she didnt need to take the garbage out anymore because ‘it was raining and there was spiders’. So then he gets her to clean the bathroom once a week – but not the toilet because I dont know….maybe she might shatter into a million pieces? Told him I do hope he has a lot of $$$ put away because he will have a lifetime of paying people to do her ‘icky stuff’ to look forward to….
And she said ‘No, I dont want to’ when he asked her to do something – and he had a frigging panic attack! But he just thinks I dont like his kids. So we had that fight. I left with my tribe early. Then 4 hours later he turns up at my place – then leaves with the shits because I asked him if we should talk about the argument?!? So he then just refuses to communicate with me for days. Days. Sad that he cant see that his refusal to communicate with me for days when we have an argument is the issue. Its just easier to say I hate his kids?
So – I ended it. Its just exhausting and stressful for that few days of happy per month. He refuses to move, so his expectation is that I will uproot my children whom I have full time, to live with him and the kids he has half time, and the week he isnt with his kids he loves to work away. Right. And the rest of the time if things arent hunky dory he becomes a mute. At first I was good, I was ambivalent. Then he sends me a valentine card that he doesnt write in?? Anyone want to date Marcel Marceau with a yellow streak at parenting?
So now I’m sad and angry. After the card he finally said he’d come to counselling – so I book in – then he tells me he will be working away that week. So done. Gave him the mother of all serves.
OMM: Had a skin cancer removed 6 years ago and its come back in the same spot. Quietly shitting self. Booked to see the surgeon next week. Pity party – table for one…
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Haven, I am so proud of you for taking a stand. You don’t deserve to be treated that way! I can only begin to imagine how hard it was for you to make the decision to end things, but I’m glad you decided to do what was best for you! I hope you are OK and I’ll look forward to hearing your progress!
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Tks Monique. You are a love x
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Good for you Haven Maven! It sounds like you have done the right thing. Stay strong. Sending best wishes.
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From what you say you have absolutely done the right thing. Instead of ignoring the problems and/or making excuses for him you’ve faced it head on and made a decision.
too many women ignore the problems and do not face the reality.
I hate the not talking my ex used to do it and I would never ever tolerate it again from any man. Stick to your guns, you’ve gotten out of a whole lot of problems.
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Worst#1: My employer is facing budget cuts and I’m one of the staff affected. They want me to reduce my week from five days to four. So I either need to look for a new job, or see if I can get freelancing or some kind of similar work on the other day to make up for the shortfall. I’d love to work just four days a week, but our budget can’t swing it.
OMM: job-hunting. Reaching out to contacts. Sigh. I’m tired and not in the mood.
Worst#2: My doctor prescribed tablets to me last week to help with anxiety, and they are really knocking me around. Even just half a dose.
Best: Get to go home to a quiet house tonight as my husband is out, and I can flake on the couch and fall asleep early
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Bunny those anti anxiety meds take about three weeks to settle in so just hang in there. Best wishes.
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Best: Our wedding is getting closer now – just 22 days to go. Super excited.
Worst: Have had a headache 3 days in a row this week – sick of it.
OMM: Did I choose the right wedding dress….. I LOVE it, but perhaps there is one that might’ve been more flattering, or a better style or different detailing.
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Don’t let those kinds of thoughts get in your head re the dress. You chose the right dress
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You chose the perfect dress, stress less my dear
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Pumba sounds like normal pre wedding stress to me (including the headache) and I had the same feelings about my dress. I look back now and I just love my dress so much. But I think lots of brides go through that same feeling of is it the right dress. Don’t worry it will all be perfect. One of my friends gave me the best pre wedding advice – don’t worry about the tiny details as no one will notice and on the day you will be too rapt to care. Enjoy!
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Best: the spectacular weather on the Gold Coast, three job interviews and the kind people at OUA for helping me out
Worst: I have to continue to prove to my current university that both my dad died and my fiance broke up with me so I don’t get excluded from classes. it is really frustrating as I want to start my year on a clean slate but collecting this evidence just reminds me what a horrible year 2011 was.
OMM: how women are portrayed in the media, it is actually really starting to frustrate me. May do my eventual thesis on the topic….
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Best: Off to NZ this weekend. Never been past the airport so I’m excited
Spending a few days in Auckland, 5 in Wellington. Any places I must visit? Favourite (cheap!) resturants or bars?
Worst: Had a stressful week with trying to work out my uni timetable, work schedule, organise a lease and attempt to apply for youth allowance!
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I hope you love nz! I’m a wellingtonian so I will ask the weather to behave during your visit (it doesn’t always listen!). Try mighty mighty and Matterhorn on Cuba street for some interesting bars. There are tons of great restaurants around the same area so you should have no trouble finding a nice place to eat – there are plenty of budget friendly options. I hope you love my city as much as I do!
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wow, we almost have the trifecta on MM today.
Public vs private schools
Vaccinations
We just need a post on working vs stay at home mums or one on natural vs c section birth or even one on bottle vs breast.
Then all will be good with the world and the mm hit rate will hit a high.
These repeat stories are getting really old and really predictable MM
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Yes, you’re right! It is a shame we publish a schools story just ONE working day before a major public/private schools funding review is handed down on Monday. The review many have been waiting years for. And it IS a shame we publish a vaccination story just three days before a court case involving the AVN which creates and is responsible for significant public debate.
Such a terrible state of affairs when Mamamia is keeping up with the news cycle. You’re right, our readers should expect better…
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Ah Rick, love your style!
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Ditto.
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oh snap!!
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Ha, ha Rick. Thanks or the giggle, and thanks MM for providing this time poor Mumma with the headlines
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First of all – go you good thing Miss Whippersnapper!!
I’ll start with my worst, because it leads perfectly into my best…
Worst: My fiance is interstate for 10 days. He left on Sunday morning and doesn’t get back until next Wednesday night. I only have our old, slightly senile cat for company. I miss Mr Sonic so much and am dying for a hug from him.
Best: I have been looked after, checked up on and kept company by my friends…and by friends I mean ‘real life’ ones as well as Twitter ones. I am very lucky and I adore them all.
OMM: social media. Twitter, blogging, Pinterest…I love learning about it all and am really enjoying using it.
Happy weekend to you all!!
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I feel you!! Recently had Husband away and incommunicado for a few days.
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Best: Got tickets to see Lady Gaga with my daughter. Very excited.
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You will absolutely adore NYC! Not sure if anyone has mentioned yet – but I recommend airbnb.com – i used it to book accom all around the USA in January. Each place was a home away from home
! And don’t buy here. Shop up a storm when you get to the states. Hit century 21 etc when you get there 
!
Best: I’m turning the big 3-0 on Tuesday and ready to leave the 20s behind and embrace the 30s.
Worst: my sisters make up artist for her wedding cancelled a week out from the big day! Argh!
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oooh yes Century 21 is a must!!!! I got the BEST shoes there.
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Apparently century 21 is right near the world trade centre memorial. So
I’m either going to feel so upset I need to spend money or so upset I can’t stand it!
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Yeah it is literally across the road. We went before there was a proper memorial (2005) and it was pretty emotional. It felt slightly shallow doing some retail therapy straight afterwards. You could always do it on different days though as there is alot to do down that part of town (go to the statue of liberty ferry, then go shopping etc). Actually I think that is what we did. My hubby was in America on 9/11 so he got a bit teary there (a colleague died on one of the planes so the whole thing hit home).
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My worst worst just happened – my cat just savaged me with his claws! I suspect he’s got an injury in his belly because I went to put him outside, picked him up and I now I look like an egyptian mummy with all the bandaids on my hands from his claws!! And I’d forgotten how much Dettol hurts on open wounds (should listen to my kids more when they tell me it hurts!!)
Best – I had a baby just over 2 weeks ago and she’s a gem! She’s #4 and just fitting in so well and feeding well and sleeping well and I just want to waste hours and hours watching her sleep.
Best #2 – the others are adoring their little sister. Albeit that #3 (the only boy) is being a bit of a rabbit in the discipline and naughtiness departments but that’s to be expected.
Worst #2 – its # 2 & 3s last day at their awesome childcare place where the carers love them, but I’ve taken 12 months leave from work and can’t justify 2 trips in and out town twice a week when I’m also trying to do school runs and pre school runs and the cost of care. One carer was in tears on Wednesday saying goodbye to our little man, and today our 2nd daughter will be in tears saying goodbye to the most fabulous woman who adores her (all the carers are lovely, but they have one special one each they just adore).
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How do you manage school runs etc. with four? I am pregnant with my third and am dreading school runs etc.. School is an hour rtn trip from home with no school bus option. My husband will be working interstate (only home weekends) so can’t help. My two year old will be at home with me and the baby. I am wondering how I will cope with even the basics. I am already tired and irratable a lot of the time (managing kids, pregnancy and working while husband overseas for extended period). I dread to think what I will be like when heavy duty sleep deprivation and 24/7 babycare starts.
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Hi there. I understand why you would be concerned. My #3 is 4 months old and my eldest started primary school this year. #2 is 3 and is at preschool 2 days. It’s tricky to manage the drop off and pick up on the two days they are both at school as they have the same drop off and pick up times in two locations 10mins apart. The baby is ratty on those days with all the in and out of the car but, after a few weeks of doing now we are settling into a routine and both mumma and bubba are getting used to it. Days when we’ve had little to no sleep are worse but manageable. My best tip is to be organised the night before. 5yo lays out the next days clothes before bed and I have the lunches packed and ready to just pull out if the fridge. Even on day that 3yo is home, I pack her a lunch box when I do the school lunch in the evening as it allows her to eat when she is hungry even if I’m feeding or settling bubba. Spending just ten minutes at night, even if I’m super exhausted, makes the mornings much smoother.
Good luck with it all, I wish you a healthy new little bundle.
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Hi Jane, Jane here! Congratulations on doing the Best and Worst of the Week! New York is wonderful, you will have a blast.
My best: This week my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary! I managed to get them on the Today show, through my local member got them letters of congratulations from the Governor General,the Prime Minister, the Governor of NSW, the Premier of NSW and their local member. We had a lovely dinner and their have had such fun. They are very in love this week!
My best 2: I got a job, just two days a week which leaves me time to work on my celebrancy business and I don’t start until March so time to relax!
My worst: I have had a chest infection all week and so have not been able to enjoy this time…..silver lining is that I have been sick before starting work!
Love and strength to everyone having a tough time!
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Congratulations to your parents! I think I saw that segment. When my parents celebrated their 50th, the present that meant the most to my dad were the letters from the GG, PM etc. Sometimes it’s the little things …
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Hello Whippersnapper! Just quietly, seeing your smiling face in your lil avatar always makes me smile. I hope you have an awesome time on your trip!
Best: My love and I had a little holiday to Ballarat on the weekend (from Melbourne). We had a really fun adventure around Ballarat, the wildlife park, Sovereign Hill. I’d never been, and it was great!
Another best: Riding home from work last night in the rain. So much fun.
Worst: Hmm. I don’t have one. Well nearly being taken out while riding to work this morning could have been bad, but thankfully they stopped just in time!
OMM: Pre-calculus! Just started a maths course to meet a requirement for university. I haven’t used my brain like this in years, and the cogs are a bit (or a lot) rusty!
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best – our air con got fixed today! yay!
worst – still having migraines…..
omm – I’m obsessed with watching the biggest loser! love it
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Best: Finally got of my behind and started walking in the mornings. Aim to do three days a week.
Worst: seriously stressed at the moment. Money issues which are beyond my control are making me crazy. My neck is so sore from tense muscles and yesterday I thought I would burst into tears for no reason at all. Just need to get through the next few weeks somehow.
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Hey Vivacious – totally know how you feel – my week has been a bit the same re stress – just remember you are not on your own in feeling like this !!! Us stress-heads need to stick together ! Am getting stress rashes and migraines and am thinking its all to do with work – so do I quit and panic even more…god knows !!! Just try to keep your head up and don’t let the monkeys get you down – you’re better than that xxxx
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Thanks Kails. I think it is the whole “beyond my control” aspect that is really getting to me. I’m feeling a little blown by fate at the moment. But you are right, we will get through it!
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Hi Jane,
I read mamamia every day, without fail, but never comment.
Your quest to find cheap New York accommodation however, has sparked me to leave one!
I can highly recommend Hotel 17 in the East Village; about 2 blocks from union square- it’s very central. They offer private rooms with shared bathrooms, which isn’t for everyone, however they were all amazingly clean and I never once had to wait to use one- I think their are 2 bathrooms that service each floor of about 8 rooms.
The other one I can recommend is the Jane Hotel in the west village. its not as central and has very small rooms but they are much cheaper than what you can find elsewhere. It also has a fantastic brunch spot right below.
Here are websites for both:
http://www.hotel17ny.com
http://www.thejanenyc.com
Hope it helps!
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I stayed at Park Central, just a few blocks south of Central Park, which was also good and had some pretty good specials. Was very reasonably priced for NYC and not a dive either
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Welcome, Elle
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Best: This time next week I will be half an hour in to my flight to Canada and the US. 2.5 weeks of skiing in Whistler and then a week in New York. Cannot wait!
Worst: So much to do before I go!
OMM: Will my relationship last through the holiday? Do I want it to? I know I want to have a good, happy time over there but I will be there with my boyfriend. Our relationship has been rocky for some time now, and were it not for this trip we booked 6 months ago, I am pretty sure we wouldn’t be together now. Fingers crossed for a pleasant holiday and then we can deal with all the crap when we get back!
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good luck on your trip Sam – Whistler and NY are 2 of my favourite places in the world!! Fingers crossed about the boy – whichever outcome it is
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Thanks Karyn. I feel at peace with it either way. This is our last ditch effort, so if it doesn’t work, then at least we can say we tried and then move on
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Brilliant Jane – very “JANE”. Was driving home and couldn’t txt you, so would you stop tweeting that I am ignoring you!! Can’t even begin to imagine how action packed your week has been!!
Lots of Love
MUM
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You’re probably the finest archaeology student I know or at least the one with the most excellent daughter. HAHA
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This is so cute and totally something my mum would say!
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Best: Started trying for a 2nd baby
Worst: Wondering how long it’s going to take? The first time took a while
OMM: Would like to go back to work 2 days a week, instead of the current 1 day but don’t have anyone to mind my 19 month old daughter for another day a week.
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Jane, If you haven’t already looked into it, the Pennsylvania Hotel is a good one. It is on 7th Avenue and directly opposite Penn Station which is your gateway to rail travel around other destinations in the US and anywhere in New York. Lots of international people stay there.
xx
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Oooo thanks for that tip! Will keep that in mind for when I plan New York.
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Thats where we stayed when we were there. Such a great location (from there it’s only a few blocks to Times Square, Empire State bld, Central St, etc etc. We even walked back to there from SOHO one night. The room was small but reasonably comfortable. We were there over Christmas and NY and it was about $110 a night so very reasonable (that was a few years ago though). And there was a cute pub across the road we *might* have spent a fair bit of time at.
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Best #1: My partner & I supported Celtic Thunder at Boondal on Saturday night, in front of 7500 people. It was the most surreal, wonderful night of my professional life. The lads are lovely, too. Something to tell the grandkids!
Best #2: Settling my partner’s 5yo daughter after she worked herself up into a MegaTantrum during dinner last night. I’m not a mother, and I’ve never experienced one before, so I decided to give her Dad a break. Rather than shouting, I just took her into our room, laid her on our bed and started singing silly songs without feeding into her hysteria. It worked. Five mins later she was back downstairs eating dinner cheerfully, tantrum forgotten. It felt good to help my partner out with something so draining, as I’m still very new at this!
Worst: So. Tired. I work two jobs, admin & music, so I really have to make time to rest up. I’m heading up the coast with my sister next weekend for some serious chillaxing, can’t WAIT.
Have a fantastic weekend, everyone!
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Wow Jane Id be so excited id pee my pants haha. I remember my first overseas trip with fond smile
have a great time, and dont let the planning consume you!
My worst for this week: so I have been on 7 (YES 7!!!!) job interviews this week, and have been declined for all of them on the basis i am overqualified. It sucks! I am trying to maintain a better work/life balance and spend more time with my princess, so i am taking a lower skilled job, but its what i WANT! I interviewed great, explained WHY i wanted this sort of job, and still nothing
My best: Not working is letting me spend soooo much more quality time with my princess, im not sure i SHOULD return to work
ohhhh single parenting has some drawbacks lol
Best 2: I have an interview this arvo for a role that is PERFECT for my skillset, and hours/stress levels. Im (suprisingly) very nervous which never happens!
OMM: Im off interstate for a wedding for 2 days in 2 weeks….could this affect my job chances?
But on the other hand, its FRIDAY, which means not much to the unemployed haha but my housemate will be home to entertain me yay!
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Oh you are speaking my language. Just before I clicked on this article I dropped almost $150 on a carry on bag from the Mimco online store. With a $50 reward and 25% off I did save over $100 but probably still not necessary to me enjoying my time in Europe. Haven’t gotten my passport yet but that’s OKAY! *eek*
Best: My brother took me out for a random night on the town on Wednesday after a bad day at work. Just what I needed – and he paid.
Worst: The hangover at work on Thursday combined with soreness from the gym did not a happy Jess make.