Selfies anyone?
by MIA FREEDMAN
SCENE 1: I’m at my cousin’s 21st. It’s being held in a noisy inner city pub and my parents are also there. This is hilarious for everyone because they are not pub people. So as soon as I arrive, I make a beeline for them and begin taking photos. They are equally keen to capture the novelty and for the next 10 minutes we all snap away furiously with our phones, thrusting them into the hands of by-standers and beseeching them to “get one of us together” in various combinations. I’m not sure what we will do with these images but it seems very important we have them.
SCENE 2: I’m at a funeral. When the old man died two weeks earlier, his two adult daughters drove from interstate to sort through his things and high in a cupboard they found a box of old photos. They were black and white, slightly yellow and curled at the edges, about two dozen of them. The women wanted to prepare a slide show for the service and they used their phones to take photos of the photos. Among them was a poignant shot of their father when he was about five. As I watch the image fill the carefully erected screen at his memorial service, I’m struck by the preciousness of it. Compared to the thousands of photos taken of kids today, it’s rare to see childhood photos of anyone over 60.
SCENE 3: I’m at a meet-and-greet at ABCTV. Media and guests have been invited with their kids to meet the stars of Giggle & Hoot, Jimmy Giggle (a person) and his sidekick Hoot (an owl puppet). As we walk into the studio, I glance left and find myself next to the world’s most beautiful woman, actor Deborah Mailman. I’m instantly star struck and shove my phone at her husband, asking him to take a photo of us together. It feels urgent. I want to share my experience. Prove that it happened. That I met her. The photo seems even more important than telling her how much I love her (which I do several times).
SCENE 4: I’m on holidays and I’m bummed. “If anyone ever looks back at Christmas 2011 they will wonder why I wasn’t there,” I announce to my family accusingly as I flick through photos on our camera. “There’s not a single photo of me on this holiday. Not. One.” A friend later points out that’s why Apple invented the ‘selfies’ self-facing camera facility on the iPhone – so that women can take photos of themselves because it rarely occurs to men to pick up a camera. Women are the self-appointed archivists and thus frequently M.I.A in the photos themselves.
SCENE 5: I’m sitting in a nice restaurant. As the waiter lays our shared dishes on the table, I hungrily reach to load up my plate. My friend’s hand slaps me down. “Wait! I need to Instagram it” she says, whipping out her phone to take arty shots of our dinner, having captured our cocktails earlier and posted them to Twitter. As Tim Ross wrote on Mamamia recently, “These days everyone’s a food blogger.”
SCENE 6: My 3yo son doesn’t want his photo taken. All my kids have gone through this stage but he is reacting more strongly than the other two did at around the same age. Whenever I try to capture a cute or significant moment, he covers his face and shouts “no photos!” like he’s a celebrity and I’m the pesky papaprazzi. This simultaneously frustrates me and also makes me panic a the thought of all the lost moments THAT ARE GOING TRAGICALLY UNCAPTURED.
Those scenes came from my life but there’s a bigger story here about the collective impact digital photography is having on everyone.
MORE PHOTOS HAVE BEEN TAKEN IN THE PAST 2 YEARS THAN IN ALL OF HISTORY COMBINED.
A lot has changed since film and processing cost money and cameras only came out on special occasions. Photography is now free, disposable and incessant. There’s no moment too prosaic to remain uncaptured. The camera phone has made us manic hoarders of visual moments and memories. And it’s stressing us out.
As someone who uses various cameras every day, internationally renowned photography blogger and father, Darren Rowse describes swinging between three feelings: “First I marvel at the technologies we have that let us record our lives. Then I wonder if by obsessively recording everything, I’m missing the moments themselves. FInally, I feel stressed about managing all the digital clutter I create. “
Why have we become so obsessed with capturing every moment, every meal, every outfit, every facial expression of our kids?
Social researcher Neer Korn believes it’s an antidote. “With politics so bogged down in negativity, we actively seek the positive by capturing the celebrations of life. It’s happiness as status symbol. If you look at Facebook, you’d conclude everyone is having a fantastic time all the time. Our photos don’t tell our real stories, they speak of partying and smiles and harmony. “
Birthdays, weddings, funerals…..every significant event now includes a mandatory slide show set to music and if you’ve ever had to create one, it can be overwhelming due to the sheer volume of available material.
Imagine what that’s going to mean at the end of someone’s life in 80 years time. How would you even begin to compile a digital slide show from hundreds of thousands of images stored on hard disks and social media sites? Compare that to the humble box of treasured memories that the old man’s family pored over.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound? If you go somewhere and no photos are taken, were you ever there? Yes. Yes you were. And I know this because I read it on Facebook.
How do you handle photos: do you snap away madly or do you prefer to enjoy the moment?
Comments
134 Comments so far
I LOVE taking photos, and everyone knows me knows this. sometimes i think im OTT, but then i see people on facebook, and think, ok, im not THAT ott like some other people are. when i was overseas last year,
“Then I wonder if by obsessively recording everything, I’m missing the moments themselves.”, I thought this when i was overseas last year. i was snapping away, and thought, hold on, i think im missing the moment and should stop taking photos and just take it all in.
its crazy how much technolohy has changed and how much kids are involving themselves in the technology. when im at family gatherings, i will happily give my 5 year old cousin my camera and let her go and take photos, and she does a pretty good job!
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I am well aware that this is super-nerdy but I got so frustrated with endless folders of photos on multiple storage devices that I started a SCRAPBOOK. Hells yeah, that’s ME in the stationery corner of K-Mart, buying the 12″x12″ pieces of fuschia paper.
I don’t go nuts with layouts or anything – it’s limited to a few rub-on borders and paper love hearts. All I have to do is save a few theatre tickets, business cards and other mementos, print out the best 15 or so photos, and bang, there’s 2011 on four pages.
I like having something to hold – it’s nice to pick it up and have a flip through. Plus it’s only the best quality or funniest photos, so there’s not a thousand shots of the one thing.
I recommend it =)
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I wanted to find a way to organise all the photos of my kids and share them without boring all my Facebook friends so I helped create an iPhone app to do it. It’s called Tinybeans and it helps remind me to take at least one photo a day and stores it in a calendar and I’m just sharing it with the grandparents, aunties and uncles. I usually limit the photo taking to just a couple a day though so not to miss out on joining in their fun. I watched that TED clip that Sambo mentioned a while back and it really made me stop and think.
http://www.tinybeans.com
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There is nothing more embarrassing than friends of mine who bring cameras to just a friggin regular meal out and start snapping photos of our food ~*~* for facebook ~*~*~ … and then they tag me at the restaurant and follow it up with a hundred different ways I can coordinate the fork in to my gob with my food. ITS SO IRRITATING… mate, I just want to eat my dinner, why do you have to turn it in to ART? I like to have photos when it matters. I like candid shots, I like shots of family events and not hours of photos being shot for show… to prove to everyone on social network sites that i apparently have a life… Its so stupid and annoying…
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I’m not a photo taker at all, but my sister and mum are. I must admit I often wish we could just sit and enjoy our family gatherings rather than having to line up for photos every time. But then if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have any photos of my kids so I can’t really complain.
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Read this article in the paper yesterday and really enjoyed it. I am definitely on the “taking way too many photos of my kids” side and it made me think about my behaviour but I decided its not such a bad thing, I love looking back at them all!
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For the photography lovers out there, this man is gifted beyond words.
http://kristinandkayla.blogspot.co.uk/
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My 4 year old said to me not long ago “stop taking photos and just WATCH!!!” that was a bit of a wake up call. And it’s not even like I am a constant incessant snapper but it did make me think “what is this like for kids? When mum and dad always seem to have a camera pointed at them?”.
I think before digital we were all limited by the technology : film costs a lot, only 36 shots on a roll, cost of developing etc. now that those limits have been removed, we have to set our own.
For me they are:
- not staging photos of kids. (please don’t tell me most of those artfully mag-like shots on patent blogs aren’t staged)
- don’t take photos of things that already exist in photo form but much better (like taking a photo of the mona lisa! We all know what it looks like! Why would you look at that photo again?)
- trying to have regular family time were iPhones/ cameras are banned!
- and I no longer post photos of my kids on Facebook. At some point this becomes an invasion of their privacy. They didnt ask to have their lives splashed all over the Internet! My niece who is now 14 is arguing with her parents about getting all their photos of her when she was younger removed from the parents’ blog. It’s a murky issue.
This isn’t meant to sound sanctimonious. We are all learning with the growth of this technology that is so easy to use and accessible. I have definitely overphotographed and over shared. Now I regularly sift through and print out a selection of photos and my 4yo and I album them. My mother was an excellent record keeper and kept family albums of every year of our childhood, and since she passed away these have become family treasures.
I think of we don’t consciously set limits on photographing, sharing, recording etc then the path to indulgence is too easy to fall upon.
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I used to love taking lots of photos but had a big wake up call about this sort of thing recently. I went to a BBQ and a woman who is a scrapbooker was there. She didnt even have time to eat her own meal because the whole event was about stalking everyone else there to take photos of them. Even when her child vomited she didnt try and clean her up, she took photos of it! She didnt engage in conversation with anyone, including her children. I’m guessing this is quite normal because her family didnt seem the slightest bit bothered by her behaviour. She ran around with her camera like she was the papparazzi, making people pose for her shots and even styling things on the table so the champagne bottle and salad looked better. She was a complete pain in the arse.
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Some of the extremely judgemental comments below astound me. We live in a society where you have few restrictions on what you can say or do on line. One of the joys of Facebook or Twitter is that you can share as much or as little as you like. The fact that someone chooses to use this communication tool in a different way to you is not wrong, just different. Some people use the games, some upload a million photos and others use it sparingly. To each their own. I would love to know what stunningly intellectual pursuits some people use it for if not for those reasons that make them so self righteous…
I initially got onto Facebook as I was living interstate and it was such an easy way to share photos with my family and friends. I have family across not only my own state but two others across the country so I love that my sister can share what some would say is a mundane pic of my niece having her hair cut off. For my mum and other sisters, it is a way for us to share in their lives even though we wont get to see them in person for months.
I think very carefully about which photos I upload of my kids and others. It only make sense to me that most people upload their happy times. Why would I take a photo at my grandmothers funeral or other event? We tend to document the times of celebration or just funny moments. My parents love that I share photos of my kids that others may not care about. You don’t have to look at them!
I also don’t agree that we are losing the value of photos as we take so many. It just takes more effort to make them special. Once a year I put the 1000′s of pics we have taken over the year into one folder and I cull them down to the best ones of the best moments (birthdays, holidays, a day at the beach) and get them printed and put in an album. My kids love going through all of our albums and seeing the events of our life. It takes time but it depicts the story of our lives.
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All human beings are judgemental. It doesn’t mean people are necessarily deeming people’s use of social media as wrong, just expressing their opinions on what they think is “too much”. You say you think very carefully about which photos you upload and share… this is great! I think many people don’t put much consideration into what they share (some of the stories below about people taking pictures of desperately sad times and sick and dying people illustrate this), and think that is what many are commenting on.
“I also don’t agree that we are losing the value of photos as we take so many. It just takes more effort to make them special”
I think you have just illustrated a point you weren’t even trying to make. The harder it becomes to make a photograph truly meaningful and stand out from the rest, the harder it becomes to create something of real value. Literally. For a photographer to make money these days, he or she has to be truly exceptional.
I believe this is true of most artforms these days, it is harder and harder to really stand out.
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Whilst I take your point, I don’t believe that this article is about professional photographers.
My extended family recently went to have professional family shots done. We all have digital camera’s but we went to a professional as we wanted to get some shots that we would not get from taking them ourselves.
Whilst the photo’s were fantastic, the price they charged was ridiculous. $2500 for 4 small canvases is outrageous and $260 per shot that was 8 x 10 and had to be framed. The real costs of the shoot were not made clear to us when we booked and as my step mother did not think to ask the question, we really had no choice but to pay if we wanted the shots.
I know others who have had similar experiences and this is why I take as many pics of my kids to get the best ones. And for the record, whilst I put mine in albums to make them ‘special’ to me, I believe that any photo can be special to the person who took it as it has significance to them. I don’t delete the other shots once I have been through them as they all mean something to me, when the ones I find that the kids have taken of their toys or their feet when I download!
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I’m with you on the judgemental comments. People are suggesting that there is a “right” way to use Facebook and they are doing it.
I have a friend who is a mad keen skater and all she does is post photos of her skating exploits. I have another who is a stay at home mum and she just updates us on her kids’ napping schedules. My other friend is a foodie so we just get photos of the meals she cooks and eats. These are the things that my friends find interesting. Who am I to say that the things that I post about are more intresting. They might be more interesting to me but my friends might think that I’m boring.
Facebook is a way to record memories from your life. If you don’t find your friends’ posts interesting maybe you shouldn’t be friends with them anymore. Or maybe you can use their posts as a conversation starter for the next time you see them.
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I agree with you Jess!
I went through a phase of not using Facebook at all… I think mainly because I was intimidated by the judgemental-ness of it – people making fun of their “friends’” statuses, stalking their photos, etc etc. Plus I just preferred twitter so I stuck with that.
I started using Facebook again at the beginning of this year, and I can pinpoint it to the day – the day a friend of mine committed suicide. I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years. It made me realise the magic of Facebook, which we should be so grateful for, is being able to stay in touch with people we have met throughout our lives, who we ordinarily (without Facebook) wouldn’t have time to see or catch up with or speak to on the phone.
Facebook is barreled a lot of criticism but I have to say that since returning to it, I feel more connected, and it has added a little more fun and richness to my life. I know it is just a website, but it allows sharing, supportiveness, friendship to last longer and stay stronger than it otherwise would.
I think it’s great.
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I have thought about many of these things.
I was an avid film photographer – and remember judiciously using my film because it was a “limited” resource – which made it fairly easy to pick and choose photos when putting together an album of a trip as there were only so many photos to choose from. Now, I don’t put together albums because we come home with hundreds and hundreds of digital photos – who has time to go through them all…does this really look better 1/8 of an inch to the left, what about 1/4 of an inch…yep, have 10-20 different shots of the SAME THING but slightly different…never had this with film. I was really good with creating an album using digital photos of my son’s birth through 1st day home (there were only so many photos) – I love that we have 2 hard copy albums – one for him to drool on and one for us to keep somewhat pristine. And I had grand plans of doing one for each year. Well, he’s 18 months and all I have are more memory cards full of photos because I haven’t even had time to download them to free up my memory card so we just buy more! It’s ridiculous.
Oh – and our last big trip (pre-child) was to Alaska – came home with around 1000 photos – this was THREE years ago…I thought I’d organize them on my maternity leave. HA! (I probably could have if I didn’t go through a 7 month obsession with Facebook which I seem to have kicked…and replaced with MM).
I have also been know to stress about “missing a shot” – I should really focus on not missing the moment! I find it really hard to change though.
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I heard the following quote a couple of months ago and it has stuck in my mind. We all go along “comparing our behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight reel”. I love Facebook, Twitter etc etc. However, I do find myself getting jealous of other friends amazing lives that I see through Facebook. Silly but true. That was until one day a friend said she felt that way about me!! When I heard this quote it really resonated with me. Thought I would share…
Would love to know where that quote originally came from…
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Wow! I stumbled across this story whilst trying to kill time while I downloaded the 672 photos I took on my iPhone in the month of May!!! That’s about 21 photos a day and I probably didn’t even leave the house for most of the month and they are probably all of my 18 month old son. The worst thing is I don’t delete any of them, just in case that terribly blurry photo of the kid with food on his face is ever needed for a 21st photo slide show or something else equally important. I may have to seriously look at my crazy iPhone photo addiction!
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We are all photoshopping our entire lives these days and when you think about it painting the best possible image of ourselves extends beyond choosing what photos to upload to Facebook. E.g younger people who incessantly use text messaging literally lose the ability to talk, as the written message, unlike the spoken word, can be considered in advance and they’re not comfortable with the spontaneous aspect of conversing.
I think we are all getting used to having two identities, the honed and edited one we put on show and our true selves. The former is typically less textured, more straightforward and positive, possibly more how we’d like our lives to be. When we inevitably fall short of this, we feel the discord and what’s worse is we are teaching our kids that this is normal/ok.
There is an amazing TED talk on this topic, well worth 20 mins of your time http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html
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The talk is indeed amazing, Sambo. Thank you for sharing… I had a hunch about social psychology being related to all of this, and she discussed the depth of this issue with credibility and clarity. I’m definitely holding onto this link for potential assignments!
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Today I went to see my son’s band perform. I watch most of it through the viewfinder on my phone, trying to capture the moment. Many many times.
Sigh.
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I watched the Chelsea victory parade in Fulham a couple of weeks ago, got some great shots. When people asked me about it later I realised I watched the whole thing through my digital camera. Fail. It was a cool parade though…
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I did that too, until I realised I had missing an entire concert, because I was too busy filming it.
Our school then got clever – they started videoing the concerts professionally and then selling videos of the concerts to the parents as a fundraiser (parents had to commit to buying a video beforehand, to ensure it was financially viable).
This was an absolute win win win:
- We got to watch and enjoy the actual concert experience (and the view was less impeded, as there were fewer other parents blocking the view making their own vids!),
- The school raised funds for the PA,
- The video was well filmed, and even went behind the scenes to having the kids’ make up applied and all the excitement behind the scenes (where parents weren’t allowed) and included all the kids, so our kids could watch their friends afterwards too, which they loved. Interestingly, they weren’t as obsessed at looking at themselves only, as we were (back then they were slightly less narcissistic than they become as teens), and they watched and re-watched their concert videos.
Unfortunately when we moved to Aus, this wasn’t done here, and our school wasn’t interested in implementing it, when I suggested it. Sigh.
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Mia, off topic here but is that jacket leather and where did you get it from??
I love the colour x
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OK the comments on here are pissing me off big time
‘Back in MY day we lived in the moment, all these silly YOUNG people constantly snapping away’
I’m a snapper of photos because I love capturing the moment. I travelled to 29 countries last year – I lived in the moment, but I also captured it, because I LOVE looking through them…they bring back memories I didn’t know I had! I found one today of a night out in london and had the biggest laugh, pictures are the best. a second to take and they last a lifetime.
What’s the harm in taking photos? We are lucky enough to live in an age where we can record anything we want. I would love it if my Mum was suddenly like ‘Here are 5000 photos of me in my 20s’. It would be so good to look at! We’re not diminishing the moment,a quick snap with my iPhone takes a millisecond, but looking back on it brings back so many memories
Going overboard is never cool – you don’t need 500 pics of your son’s first day of school, I’m sure 2 or 3 will suffice
ALTHOUGH, people that are at gigs and record the ENTIRE time make me want to break their phone. Mate, take a pic, a quick 30 second video and put your bloody phone down and sing!
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Im hopeless at taking photos of the kids and I always regret it. I already look back at photos of Red Rocket and wish there was more of her DOING things instead of just looking lovely.
But I am bad at the take-a-photo-of-my-cute-baby-and-put-it-straight-on-facebook thing.
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Last year my father died of lung cancer. Three weeks before he died and just after he’d been diagnosed with it I remember arriving at the hospital to a room full of relatives and at least one uncle wanting us to pose for photos with my father who was sitting on the hospital bed wearing a hospital gown and an oxygen mask over his face. I thought it was strange that someone would want to take family photos there, although I guess it’s not often that we all get together, but it was an awful, awful situation and I definitely didn’t get my phone out that day!
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It’s like a desperation to capture every moment – the good and the bad, huh? How dreadful for you….xxxx
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Hi, I had the EXACT same scenario when my dad was dying of lung cancer earlier this year. I didn’t want to remember him that way, looking so frail and sick and a shadow of his normal self. I prefer to look at older pics of him looking like I remember him. The best memories I have of him can’t be contained in a photograph anyway.
Sorry for your loss, It’s been a very tough year for my family and I’m sure for yours too.
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When my father died someone took photos of me with him unconscious. She said someone did that for her and she appreciated looking back on them in the following years. I have looked at them now and again and he has been dead over 10 years and I do not ever feel anything but sorrow. He doesn’t look how I want to remember him by and I just look like I have been crying for a month. This was a horrible time in my life and nit something I want to see staring back from a picture. Im sorry you went through that and the person taking photos didn’t have more consideration.
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I usually forgot to take photos even if I remembered to bring my camera with me. When I got an iPhone I was only slightly improved.
When I went to Europe, I had my camera ready as I advanced through the queue to view the Mona Lisa. I had enough time to take a photo of it and look at it briefly before being ushered along. I have only ever looked at that photo once and I wish I had focused on the moment and seeing Mona Lisa in the flesh rather than stupidly trying to get a good shot of it.
Since having our first baby recently I have turned into a bit of a mad snapper. Even my husband has asked if I need to take yet another photo of baby doing the same thing…
I do think though at this age babies change so rapidly and I love flicking back through the photos on my phone from a week or two ago and seeing the differences. Also the grandparents have told me they check their email every day for a new email or video of him!
The problem with digital snapping is that it has made me lazy. When I had to go to the shop to get my photos developed, I would go to pick them up excited to see what I had captured. I would then sort through them and select a few to go into my photo album.
Now I just have a ton of photos on my hard drive or my iPhone waiting to be printed and put into an album (yeah right!) or loaded onto one of the 3 digital photo frames that I have and never got around to using. OK, so maybe that’s a job for me while on maternity leave…
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I took a gazillion snaps of my daughter and have had three lovely hard cover books printed, One for each year of the first three years, and I LOVE them. Yes, it took quite a bit of organising and editing but I love the keepsake (plus they stay online so you can get it reprinted whenever you like. I use a big company like Snapfish that has a good chance of being around for a long while. I might try Apple for my son. He’s just turned 1yo recently and it’s time to compile his first yearbook, and although I admit I probably don’t have as many pics of him as I did with my firstborn, I’m sure his book will be about the same size. It’s been a great gift for overseas grandparents as well. It always takes me a few weeks to do one book but I wait for a two for one offer to come around before ordering, always inevitable. I think my kids will be stoked to have records of their early years when they change so much. I still plan on making a hardcover album for each year but they will be combined family albums (although I’m still going to make individual first three-years albums for both of my kids).
I just think it all depends on what people are like. I’m a very visual person. I don’t get much time for creativity so Instagram has been my opportunity to be creative in short spurts between looking after young kids and housework. I never really got Twitter, but that’s because it appeals to more “wordy” people, but I adore some of the amazing mini-galleries I’ve discovered on Instagram that inspire me to push my images further, from my couch after the kids go to bed, in my parked car while the baby has fallen asleep or even as I’m winding down in bed at night. I plan to print a book of my Instagram images each year as something to keep and look at, and if my kids are anything like me, one day they will love looking at what Mum did when she was young…
Finally, the last meaningful reason for why I feel compelled to take lots of pictures of my kids and family is because sometimes being a Mum has been quite stressful for me (two cases of PND) and I haven’t always enjoyed every second, but by taking and collecting lots of happy images, I’m kind of able to re-write or overwrite my memories. I’m not one to sweep negative stuff under the carpet at all; I’ll never forget some of my challenges but I can deliberately inject records of all the happy stuff to help me remain balanced about life. It can be easy, I suppose, for some people to slip into bitterness or negativity and I do not want to become one of those people, and this is my way, I guess
@katymay74
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I’ve just looked through your instagram photos and they are stunning. I followed you and can’t wait to see more. You’re right – they really capture those happy, contented moments… Just lovely and your children are beautiful.
you can follow me @bijouchic but it’s mostly just selfies 
. Thanks again for sharing – made my morning.
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Being a recent convert to the smartphone after deliberately holding out, I am noticing I am taking more photos of the kids than I normally would, trying to catch the moment on film rather than just enjoying it. I consciously noticed this at my son’s cross-country, looking at my phone screen instead of cheering him on, so I put it away. It’s better your kids see you engaged with them,rather than another blurry photo!
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This is a genius solution: http://www.coolmomtech.com/2012/05/the_iphone_photo_printer.php
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I lost the first 18 months of Lauren’s life to post natal depression and ECT. No memories of my daughter as a baby or young toddler is heartbreaking. I am so grateful for the hundreds and hundreds of photos that everyone took of her- the milestones, messy eating, outfits etc that others might find boring. They don’t help me remember anything unfortunately, and I don’t have any emotional connection to them (they could be of a total stranger!) but for me they are so important – the more photos the better. I just wish I knew what to do with them all!
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Get a digital frame, put them all on sd cards and have it at home, when you look up there is always a different image to look at. Xx
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So…… 60 year olds + have only rare photos of themselves???? Really???
Please, Mia, methinks you should have asked some of your friends or relatives who are over 60 just how many photos they have of growing up!
I’m fairly certain that they would, like me, laugh at the idea that you consider our childhoods SO LONG AGO that we didn’t take photos for pleasure. The old box and the little Brownie cameras were “running hot” when I was a child through to my teenage years. Maybe the photos are black and white but mine record my young life and I have at least 50.
Methinks a little bit more research should have gone into this statement before you put it in print! I’m pretty sure that there are other 60+ readers out there who are also feeling a little disgruntled re your “rare” statement!
Please consider that the word RARE is the incorrect one to describe the comparison between the hundreds now taken by mobile phones and digital cameras to what was taken back in the 50′s, .
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Lighten up Margaret. 50 photos over a whole childhood is still only a few compared to the thousands young kids have today. Mia was just illustrating the difference between then and now.
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I understand what Margaret is saying and I understand what Mia is saying…… being 60+ does seem v.old to some. My childhood was photo after photo. Every special moment or milestone was captured via movie or black & white. We have tons of them. My parents on the other hand; probably 10 photos is all. It was an expensive exercise then and also when I was growing up. Mia is focusing on how easy it is to click and see. We do it ALL THE TIME – can drive one a little crazy at times. I am a little taken back when anyone mentions 60+ to highlight the “olden times”. I still feel young and vibrant and keep up with everything. Also, I am still working full time. I guess when you feel youthful it’s hard to be put in the “old time” barrell. Even if, as in this article, the point is relevent. I enjoyed the article.Well said Mia.
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We have some of the old random walking down the main street photos that used to get taken in Sydney of my Nan and Pop, and his RAAF photos, but not much more. It was, as you say, not cheap!
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I think you need to put the article in perspective. You have 50+ photos of your entire childhood. My sister and I recently went on a 3 week holiday and came back with 10,000+ photos. Compared to that, 50 is a very small number.
My father, who is 71 this year, has a total of four photos from his childhood. Two of him alone, one with this two brothers and one with his mother. That’s all they had. My mother, who is 60, has about 10. My brother, sister and I have tens of thousands of photos (possibly more…), most taken in the past 5 -10 years.
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Hey Margaret – I know a bunch of over-60 year olds. My parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, in-laws and many others fall into that category.
And none of them have many photos of themselves. Those they do have are precious – and rare!
I once heard someone say how the other thing that’s so interesting about old photos is their imperfection…..in some ways they are more revealing because they couldn’t be deleted before they were printed. It was a lucky dip when you processed your roll of film.
So yes, relatively speaking, photos of their childhood are SO MUCH more rare than photos of my generation, let alone the next one……
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I think 50 compared to what we take now is rare. And of all the older people I know none of them have close to 50 photos of their childhood. Perhaps your family were especially prolific.
And anyway, it is just a throwaway line really, not that big of a deal as to if it is accurate or not, just illustrates a broad point.
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I agree, I think the subjects of most of the photos we take has become slightly ridiculous. I mean, I am not interested in what you ate for dinner last night or how your damn cocktail had an umbrella in it.
I get the random picture of say a dress in a shop that you’re not quite sure you want to buy or need to find matching shoes for, but I do not get this need to incessantly upload them to facebook!
I was thinking about the value of photos today. We had a family function, and there was drama as usual but it dawned on me that my grandparents (particularly my grandfather) are becoming frailer and there will come a day when we wished we had taken more photos of them. Having said that, I intend to keep said photos in an album where I can look at them, and not on facebook, clogging up other people’s newsfeeds.
I know how much parents love their kids and capturing the moments is great – for your little family – but I don’t need to see it all! It’s a bit like when people put their kids on the phone to ‘talk’ to people. I have nothing against kids, love ‘em, but although it may seem cute to see your 2 year old on the phone, I’m on the other end saying, ‘Ok, now give the phone back to Mummy please’ after 5 mins of no answer lol
Live the moment, capture the moment, but there’s no need to post every single moment on my newsfeed
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I disagree. I think that is what facebook is all about – sharing. My cousin has two little girls who she posts photos of all the time and I love seeing them as I don’t get to see them much in real life. As for food and cocktails – meh, it’s just someone sharing a moment and wanting you to be a part of it as they are when you post photos. If you dont want to see it, there are plenty of ways for you to customise your newsfeed so you only see what’s important to you.
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I’m too forgetful to snap away madly. I’ll happily take photos if I remember to. I do make a point of printing them and putting them in albums though. One for each of the kids, a family/social one and holiday one. I’m not a great photographer, so the iPhone camera is good enough for me.
Our last big holiday I printed out a “coffee table” type book of the photos. It was really easy and good value.
The only food photos I’ve ever taken were of one daughter’s chips she lovingly threaded on a skewer, while the other daughter wrote “thanks for the meal” in sauce on the plate with the end of her skewer.
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I find it so funny that some people get so annoyed/pissed off/up-in-arms about people that take too many photos or overshare, on facebook, instagram, etc. If you’re so in to living your life then why are you sitting here wasting that life on the internet complaining about what other people do? Go live your life and let everyone else live theirs the way they choose.
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I’m somewhere in the middle I think. Yes, I make sure we have photos of our fam on special days and so on, but I won’t take a photo of something just for the sake of it. Or maybe I’m just a total weirdo because I’m the only 25 year old I know who doesn’t own a smartphone… I’m just trying to resist for as long as possible because there is nothing more annoying to me than being surrounded by people who are constantly on their phone (but never using it to actually talk to people the old school way phones were intended to be used) – and I REALLY don’t want to become one of those people. My husband was given an iPad for work which he brings home each night and it’s really increased the amount of time we spend on the ‘net, so that’s bad enough!
Whenever I see people taking heaps of photos during something (like during a gig, for example), I can’t help but wonder if they’re missing out on the actual experience of what they’re taking photos of….
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Is this your article that went into the paper?
Did your editor fix the typo before it went to print? (“TRAGICALLY UNCPATURED” – probably should be fixed)
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And this ^ is the most witty, thoughtful, pithy, incisive comment you could come up with, “anon”?
Oh, and glass houses and stones ‘n all that: “Is this your article that went into the paper?”. *cough*
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Hi Anon – this is a slightly different version than the one that went into the paper. I added an extra “scene”!
The one with the offending typo.
I shall fix it IMMEDIATELY if not sooner.
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So relevant to today- i have to say i’m not much of a snapper on my iphone, but when i do, i don’t always share it on Facebook, i keep it for me to look at personally.
But when we are on holidays- oh dear i live through my camera lens (i bought a dSLR last year), i look 1000 photos in 2 weeks last holiday!
We are going to Europe for 3.5 weeks in June…i think i’ll need to take several memory cards!
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It’s a joke in my family about how many photos I take & how organised my albums are – yep I print them & label them.
I have a terrible memory & it’s a good memory prompt for me.
Saying that I don’t understand the need people have to photograph their meals & every bump they get.
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Me too! For the first year of my sons life I printed a collage print each week, since then I do one a month, ask me anything and I can find a prompting photo, first steps, roll, food, horse ride, holiday. I print one copy for him to take with him, and one for me to keep. And one each for grandmas and god parents. It’s about $6 a month, and maybe 2 hours of my time while I watch tv in the evening. I’m so glad I’ve done it.
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I just had a big ‘delete’ session on my iPhone after reading that post!
I have a relative who just loves to email pics of her kids to me. And that’s fine, if she sent a couple. But no, usually 8 or 9, sucking up my monthly downloads, pics of the same sequence of poses, microseconds apart. Drives me batty!
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@Mdb I would start a separate email account for her – tell her you changed accounts. Get a gmail etc and then let her send away. You can open them when you have download limit to spare.
I know from experience
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I think some people have the need to own moments and be able to show proof of that ownership to others later. The same need is satisfied by buying souvenirs. Important events in lives should be photographed for sharing and posterity. However, photographing ‘any old moment’ is annoying for the people who have to pause and smile when they were enjoying the moment uninterrupted.
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Ohhhh, I am so feeling this post!
As my facebook feed floods with friends selfies at parties/in bathrooms, selfies of couples kissing, shots of new fringes, shots of people’s “Just a lazy Sunday coffee” (You had a coffee on a Sunday? Congratulations!) or God forbid, their gross but incredibly minor ‘injuries’ (icky shots of feet and the like… *shudders*), I can’t help but occasionally feel frustrated and a teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy bit cynical by this “MUST. SNAP. EVERYTHING” mentality… Just in case that that wasn’t clear
I am all for documenting personal life and I love sharing things with friends, but think back to when photo albums were literally ALBUMS of moments and not digital files containing every visual facet of daily life.
Is EVERYTHING worth sharing?
I hope I don’t sound judgmental, I just question things a lot. I generally am very chill with what people want to post even if it puzzles the petunias out of me. In fact, sometimes I think it’s lovely people are embracing the little things in life and making it a positive part of their day- BUT- can that be done and felt WITHOUT snapping/posting/sharing? ALL the time? Can it be snapped for yourself, but not shared? That’s where the ‘confused’ line is drawn for me, how much of this photo-sharing is pure exhibitionism?
I do believe there is an element of social psychology behind how/why/what we photograph and choose to share, whether conscious or subconscious, i.e. a person whose profile picture only ever contains shots of them with friends at parties is subliminally saying “I am popular, I have many friends and an active and vibrant social life!”… It may be true, and only one part of them, but it’s the part they are choosing to project and emphasise. This is the same with the other photos we share.
Anyway, I fully agree with the idea of being so obsessed with ‘capturing the moment’ that we actually dilute or miss the moment in itself, but don’t sense that it’s happened because we have it in arty-instagram form and it will live with us forever in cyberspace.
Alas, I definitely do think some people have fallen into the ‘If there were no pictures, no evidence on facebook… Was I even there?’ trap, for whatever reason that may be.
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You’re my hero!!
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Aww, shucks! Thank you, Dkmum
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Mine too! 100% on the mark!m
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Spot on sister!
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Yes! Not everything’s worth sharing. For example, if the exact same thing is likely to happen within 3 days (or even 24 hrs, or even 30 minutes), it doesn’t need to be captured.
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Since 2008, at the end of each year I’ve sat down and created a photo album of 15 photos. This is what I whip out and show on my phone when people ask me how the family is, instead of desperately scrolling through dozens of photos I’ve forgotten to erase (blinking, too dark, fast moving target), I have 15 photos with a story behind each.
My wife told me to post here because of the current headline “If you weren’t photographed, were you even there?”. My sister in-law has never taken a photo of me, despite us being at all the usual family dos together. One Christmas I might get a sleeve in, if I’m holding one of my kids. Or maybe my knees might make an appearance. It’s become a running game between my wife and I to see if we can find me to prove I was there!
The closest I’ve ever gotten to being in one of her photos was the day after the birth of my first child. You can see she’s captured the magic of the moment!
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On the upside, you’ve got a handsome chin, ID.
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Your story made me laugh. And feel better. My mother-in-law used to do this to me. She would take photos of my family (husband, me, two kids) at special moments, but she’d always zoom in so that I was cut out!
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Gold.
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I’m constantly taking photos with my IPhone, I do this because I find as I’m getting older ( I’m 48) I have trouble remembering things that I have seen & places I have travelled to . Now I have to hope that I don’t lose my eyesight!!!!
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We buy deceased estates and often that includes boxes of family photos. The families we buy off don’t seem to care. I find it a bit sad, we look through them in case there are any photos we can sell and they’ll tell the story of generations of a particular family. We bought one last week that starts in the 1920′s and goes through to the late 80′s. And not only photos but cards, letters, telegrams. No-one wants to buy them and we can’t keep them so they are thrown away. I feel quite sad knowing I’ll be the last person to look at them. Personally I think people should hang on to at least a few of the old photos, even if they are not interested their kids or grandkids might be.
For myself I don’t take many photos. What normally happens is that I’ll realize one day that I haven’t photographed the kids for months and then will spend a day or two photographing absolutely everything and then forget about it for another few months.
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THANK YOU MIA for posting this. It is so relevant. I’ve been thinking about this so much lately.
I study photography and on coming to Cambodia for a year to live I thought I would be taking so many photos, everyone was saying to me: Oh imagine all the beautiful photo opportunities. But I’ve found myself rebelling against this idea (even though Im missing so many amazing photos) in order to enjoy the experience. Sticking your camera in everyones faces all the time is no way to experience life. SO I just don’t do it.
But we do get anxiety when we think about the fact that an amazing moment we just had wasn’t captured.
I met my idol Paul Kelly once, and was so absorbed in chatting to him that I forgot to get a photo of us. I was so annoyed with myself. And then I thought: hang on…I had that experience, it was a great one, it’s in my memory forever, and Paul was probably grateful I just wanted a chat and not an autograph or photo. It was more special as a result.
Soon, not taking a photo will be the new photo
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I was brought up by a crazy snap happy mother. It drove me crazy as a kid but now we have all these amazing albums that my mum lovingly put together. All our trips include a candid diary account of each day, maps, brochures, postcards and anything else sentimental from the trips. I LOVE these albums. So it’s definitely not right to say your kids won’t appreciate it. My daughter at 3 loves to flick through the Mac and check out all our photos and talks about all the people and things she sees. My mum does little photo albums and a story of all her trips to give to the grandkids and they love them. So snap away I say!!
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And what about when One Direction were here performing and all you could see were the young girls’ iPhones in the air recording them rather than being in the moment and watching them.
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Funny thought, I’m pretty sure my NKOTB memories have gotten wilder in the hands of time.
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I must admit I am one of those people that whips out their phone when out for dinner, but only if I’m at a restaurant/cafe that I’ve been waiting to go to, not every time I eat out. I do have a food blog so I do take a lot of photos at home of my food. As for other stuff, yes if something is interesting/beautiful etc I will snap and Instagram.
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I’m obsessed with documenting. Via photos, through writing. I know it seems silly but even now there are things from high school or primary school that seem so long ago, so distant. My phone right now has 4134 pictures on it. That’s 3.5 a day since I’ve had a version of the phone.
I guess the difference is I don’t do it for anyone else but me.
Or maybe I’m just a wanker … who knows!
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Rick – don’t stop what you are doing! I follow you on instagram and loove your pics!
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Oh, thanks! That makes one person at least! I do enjoy it though so I won’t be stopping any time soon
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The difference is though, Rick, that you have a gift. You see the stories in life that are waiting to be told. And then you tell them… with more vigour and colour than most people have the ability to. I think a lot of people are deluded into thinking that an instagram filter or borrowing someone else’s quote will turn them into an artiste. But it doesn’t. Where as you could take a photo of a dead bug and write an epitaph and it would be entertaining and a story unto itself…
…oh wait. It was me who took a picture of a dead insect once and wrote an epitaph… he was a flying insect who had drowned in my pool. I named him Nico and imagined the courageous life he had led. I am so weird.
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I have just mourned for Nico, such was the life you breathed into his exoskeleton corpse. Alas, poor Nico, I knew him well.
You’re right on one count at least: I love stories. Love telling them even more
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We have that in common Rick. I think you are more talented than I, but writing is my first passion, so I will keep going and see where it leads me. I began devising and writing a fiction novel centred around depression, and three intertwined characters profoundly affected by it, late last year. Then early this year I had a psychic reading from the famous Cassandra Eason and one of the first things she said to me without any provocation was “oh you are a writer. You have a very strong writer’s aura” and then went on to tell me I had a gift for fiction and was writing a book already and that I was going to be very successful. I was pretty excited by that (even if it’s possible she’s a fraud)!
Anyway, thanks for mourning Nico haha. This was his epitaph:
He fought valiantly til the very end
But to the depths he did descend
He lived with flight of fancy – fancy flight
But sadly fell from quite a height
Rest in peace Nico
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My dad is 75. Two years ago he gave me a photo of him aged 5. He looks adorable. It’s one of my most treasured possessions.
I had my photo taken 2 hours ago at the MS Fun RunWalk in Sydney! So good to see so many wonderful people coming out on a miserable day and take part in the walk. If you did and and you’re reading this, you’re amazing. Thank you. Over $1.1 million raised from todays event.
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There is a lot of power in not sharing a moment. That moment belongs to you, and those they shared it with you. You can talk about it for years and it is your story. The special stories not shared, not known to anyone but those there. I am finding as I spend more and more time in my digital world that I need more of the moments no one is sharing with the world.
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im a bit nutty when it comes to taking photos and videos of my kids. everything they do is so amazing in my eyes that i want to capture it and share it with anyone who might have missed it (who cares – and i am totally aware that many people DONT care and that is fine with me). i do sometimes think that if anything ever happened to my husband and me my kids would look back at the pictures and wonder why i never did anything with them but dad was always there. i am always the one behind the camera.
a couple of weeks ago i was preparing for a night out at a concert and i decided to just take the essentials in my pockets rather than take a bag. at the last minute i took out my camera deciding i wanted to experience the concert rather than doccument it. i had the BEST time. when the band members came out into the audience i got contact from 2 of them (even a hug from one!). i am sure it was because i wasnt blinding them with camera flashes- and even though i dont have pictures im not going to forget it.
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When I was a teenager my parents’ home was burgled. Our life history in photos was stolen, along with cash etc. Apart from a couple of black and white photos of me as a young child, all were lost – Dad had upgraded to “slides” and all were carefully packed in a very elegant box that must have looked like a jewellery box to the burglars. Nothing was ever recovered.
So, these days, I make no apology for being a happy snapper! I love my digital camera and my iPhone. They take amazing photos and I can take lots and delete the ones I don’t want later.
I was at a family celebration yesterday, and we all took turns with each others’ cameras and phones to make sure it was all captured for everyone. Wonderful. And now today we have been sharing some of those photos by email and on Facebook. Those who weren’t able to be there are now joining in the happy times had yesterday, making the memories captured even more special.
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I get annoyed with those constantly posting statuses about where they are and checking into the gym etc. I always forget to take photos when I’m out because I’m in the moment – but then sometimes I’m grateful for those photo nazis that do take a pic because I’m Pretty forgetful and the photos help me remember so I can look at them and go “oh yeah, that night! That was a good night” lol.
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Since I deleted Fb, I rarely take photos. It’s almost like if I can’t show people straight away what I am doing, it doesn’t mean as much. I know it’s stupid, but i looked back on my recent 100 photos and they were all meals, or outings that really don’t seem that important or relevant a few days later.
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I love taking photos but I’m am sure there are alot of people viewing their lives through the lens of their camera/phone, rather than living in the moment. And checking in everywhere they go on Facebook! What’s that all about? Someone recently checked in “in bed, at home” recently and tagged her husband to which he commented something lame. I’m surprised there was no photo! They are now on ignore!
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God I hate that too. What is the reason for the check in and I especially hate how people do it on holiday EVERYWHERE they go. Its just a big show off and if people do it I block their posts. Not interesting! Do not care if you are shopping, at a restaurant, at the zoo. Why not try and just enjoy yourself at that place instead of fiddling with your phone making sure everybody knows about it.
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Don’t even get me started on people who take photos of themselves in movie theatres and upload them to FB! That is so infuriating. Watch the bloody movie! Checking in is so boring. And people posting “foodie” statuses on what they are cooking always does my head in – so pretentious and I don’t care!
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Oh and in my newsfeed the other day, popped up a photo of a poo in a toilet that someone had commented on. I just about vomited – there was no toilet paper in the toilet so the priority was to take a pic first. Wtf? I reported it as inappropriate.
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ROTFL!! I think that one just took it too far. I have no issue with checking in, photos of food etc, but the mega poop you’re inordinately proud of can stay a secret. Thanks. LOL
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Same lol – we must have the same friend of a friend – or the world has just gone crazy !
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People take pictures of themselves in a cinema???? What’s wrong with them?
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I love the food status updates, often gives me inspiration.
What I’m hating in my news feed is a girl I went to school with is dating a new guy and I’m so jealous of all the fun stuff you do when a relationship is new. They are out to dinner, getting presents, out to dinner again, at the movies.
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When my teenage daughter asked why there were so few photos of the escapades of my best friend and I when we were in our teens/20s, we told it was because we were too busy living it.
I wish there were more of us but she’s right in that we have such amazing, hilarious memories of those days, we don’t need the photos.
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Ohhh, don’t get me started on the check-in! It’s so frustrating when people have to momentarily disengage from their surroundings and ACTUAL physical, NON-thumbnail version of their FRIENDS, to tell everyone that they are… At the mall. At the gym. At the movies. Eating food.
Yawn. Frustration. Yawn.
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I have to know, how do you ignore someone on fbook?
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Aloha aloha!
Go to that friend’s profile and click on ‘friends’ up the top next to ‘message’, just below their cover photo. There will be a drop down list of subscription options and then you can choose what kind/how much of their updates you want to show up in your feed. Alternatively, you can go into your privacy settings and block them completely
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I love the convenience of iphone photo op…but people have a bit of ” in your face mentality” when it comes to “sharing” their every bit of everything esp on those facebook feeds…private pics of your kids and your mummy moments are for private share only!
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