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numbers  380x285 Whats your number?

So... what's your number?

Boy, do we love a bit of useless movie trivia in the MM office. That’s how we spend our days.  Mia sends us emails with pictures of lobsters. Nat bangs on about touch footy. And I send emails that start with, “Hey did you know that Ryan Gosling built the kitchen table featured in The Notebook as preparation for his role as Noah?” (At which point Lucy swoons and then tells me that Rick’s reaction is to pretend to stab himself in the eye with his biro). Lana meanwhile is running the site. And baking. Simultaneously.

Now here’s a bit of movie trivia that started an interesting conversation between us all on Skype chat.  In the new movie What’s Your Number? the producers apparently had to “test” the lead character’s number of sexual partners to find a number that was, er, appropriate for today’s audience. Because the lead character in the flick is a woman. You pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?  Woman + number  of sexual partners = judgment.  If  she’d slept with too many men, the producers said female audiences would think the character was a slut. Harsh but true, apparently. And if the number of her sexual conquests was too few, well, anyone watching with a higher number might feel promiscuous.

Decisions. Decisions.

Finding an “acceptable” number was quite the juggle apparently. And in the end they decided on 20. The premise of the movie? If you’ve slept with more than 20 people you’re less likely to find love.

In an interview with the SMH, when asked whether 20 partners was a lot for a woman to have slept with, lead actress Anna Faris said:

I think it’s a totally appropriate number but I also think, ‘Why are we [as a society] still having this discussion? It’s fun to talk about and it’s interesting but it’s sad that we still have a lot of guilt surrounding our [sexual] experiences. What does that say about us?”

By the by, I’ve heard the movie is so-so but Anna Faris is fabulous in interviews. I digress. It got us thinking in the MM office about numbers.  Does it matter how many people someone’s slept with? And why do we even care? And has anyone ever asked you how many people you’ve slept with?  And was wine involved?

According to Rick there’s a theory about sex numbers. If a man tells you how many people he’s slept with, you divide the answer by three. Ask a woman, and multiply her answer by three. This is generally speaking, of course. And we’re not sure what protocol is if a man tells you a number that’s not a multiple of three.

So have you ever lied about your number? Do you care about other people’s numbers? As a female would it bother you if your male partner had slept with fewer people than you?

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212 Comments so far

  1. TC

    my number’s 3.
    My partner’s is 6 and we’re both young 20′s.

    I have a friend whose number is 23 (guy), another whose is 2 (girl), another’s is 9 (girl).
    Honestly, I don’t care. I don’t think I’d care about my partner’s number either.
    I would not judge anyone on their number, but if they were still young and had a really high number, most of which were one night stands then I think that can be a cause for concern for some. But again, each to their own.
    Also, the higher the number = the greater risk of STD’s! eeep!

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  2. Bec

    I don’t care ‘what your number is’… I just want to work at Mamamia! Running the site while baking? Heaven!

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  3. Bec

    I’m amazed by some of the numbers that are coming up in the comments. I didn’t know people actually had numbers like this! Although, I don’t go around asking a lot of people what there numbers are.

    I’m twenty one and my number is six. Of my closest friends I know of one 34 who’s number is also 6, one 28 whos number is 2 and one 18 whos number is only 1 but it was lesbian sex and as many people have already said, what counts when its girl on girl? I don’t wouldn’t count oral in my number, although everyone that has done that to me, or vice versa, I have had sex with so its not an issue. However, she counts it as sex so I guess I will.

    My little sister is 18 and she has slept with 12 people which horrified me when she added it up. When I was 18 I had only slept with one person. Although, I guess my biggest concern with her is that not one of these guys she slept with was after anything more than sex. None of them were in a relationship with her, and I know she was only doing it to improve her self esteem which of course had the opposite effect. Plus she’s my little sister, and imagining her doing anything adult is terrifying.

    My best friend has probably slept with over 30 people. She’s never said and I’ve never asked.

    My first boyfriend and the guy I lost my virginity to had slept with 23 people at the time. He was 18. I just find it strange to have slept with more people than years you’ve been alive. I have not asked my current partner how many he’s slept with and have no intention of it. Not something I’m interested in knowing. If its large I will freak out thinking they’ve all been better than me and if its small I’ll think there’s something wrong with him haha. Better not to know!

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  4. Dee

    3 and I’m 48 I remember telling no 2 that he was the third cause I didnt want him to think I was inexperienced, he told me my number was up there and too high for a woman … His was over 200! I marines a man whose no was 3 as well but it would not have mattered to me what the number was….

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  5. F

    My number is less than 10 – it’s 7. One long term relationship and the rest were one night stands.

    I don’t think I lost my virginity until I was 22. There was a blurry, confused possible at 19 (thanks to me being very drunk and very horny and him asking me a month later whether I had had my period during a follow up liaison which involved everything but – classy!). I didn’t think we had, but he wasn’t as drunk as I was, so ….

    Despite being very active on the kissing and everything but front, I didn’t (as someone else so finely put it) think that there was anyone amazing enough to let ‘in’. But then, the boy I did let ‘in’ wasn’t amazing anyway and there were quite a few boys before him that were indeed more worthy of the prize. At the time, I felt like the odd one out. Most of my friends were sexually active, some of them quite promiscuous, and frankly, they made me feel inadequate. As a result of that, I pulled away from that group of friends. Not because I was judging them, but because I was feeling judged.

    Looking back, and I often joke, if I’d slept with every guy I’ve pashed (and it’s more than 60) I would call myself a slut. I had fun, I had choices, and I made them.

    My one night stands came after my long term relationship ended and I was in my mid 30s. One of them was 10 years younger than me, one 16 years younger than me. Mr 10 years younger than me was quite literally the best sex I have ever had (and that’s not saying my ex was a dud).

    I’m still single because on this journey that is my life, I haven’t met the one for me. I haven’t had sex for 3 years and I’m not planning on being single and sex-free forever. But, one night stand or in a relationship, it’s got to feel ‘right’.

    I think that as long as you are ‘comfortable’ with your number, then it is a-ok.

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  6. S

    80….I’m 27

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  7. RC

    I’m comfortable with my “number”, but at the same time, I totally cringe when I think of some of them. Perhaps I even regret them. Still, it broadened my experiences of sex and intimacy in order to work out what I really want, which can only be a good thing. :-)

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  8. Monique

    1 for me. I’m 35 and lost my virginity at 16, have been married for 11 years to that 1!

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  9. Minimagic77

    Difficult to count. Not that I’ve had that many but as I get older, the memories begin to dim. 20ish? 15 or so men and 5 women. Including my current female partner who is the absolute love of my life and has been for many many years now.

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  10. ohboy

    im usually quite frank about my number but am posting anonymously because this is the internet – quite different than discussing it w/a partner or bragging about it amongst girlfriends. im 41 and im pretty sure my number is 94. i lost my virginity at 15 so I guess ive averaged about 3.5/year. incidentally, i just celebrated my 15th wedding anniversary. my husbands number is 4 and he’s #42 on my list. ive aspired to reach triple digits since i was a virgin and im pretty sure ill get there as i only have 6 more men to recruit! currently, im active with numbers 42, 74, 79, 88, and 96 – but thankfully not all simultaneously (harems are a discussion for another blog!)!

    go ahead and hate if u must. im healthy & happy & love being promiscuous & dont really care what anyone thinks! i believe all women should be empowered by their sexuality, not ashamed of it!

    PEACE

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    • Anonymous

      Does your husband know about your goal to make it to triple digits?

      not judging, just curious

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  11. SalSal

    I’m 22 years old, and I’ve slept with 9 people. I’m totally at peace, with both the boys themselves and the number they add up to.
    The other day, I went on a date with the boy that I’m seeing. On the date, he asked me – as a progression from a fleeting mention of my ex (probably a bad move on my part, but it was a natural part of the conversation) – how many people I’d slept with!!! I told him, and then he told me without prompting… I so didn’t want to know, either. To me, it was a bizarre thing to mention to the girl you’re trying to woo that you’ve slept with 29 different girls…and only had one girlfriend. SO not interested any longer – so the old distaste for people we perceive as slutty works both ways, I guess..

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  12. Anon for this

    My number is 2, but I wish I had waited for marriage. My husband waited for me which I think was such a blessing to me and our relationship :) . I think there is something really special about sharing sex and your body with only one other person. No need to worry about potential STDs either :) .

    Talking outside of Christian circles this seems like a very unpopular point of view nowadays – interesting how much times have changed.

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    • TC

      I cannot reconcile the idea of waiting for marriage. Because to me, that indicates that a man having sex with me is taking away my virtue. I actually cannot comprehend that. Losing my virginity at 15 to my boyfriend of the time whom I loved did not make it any less special when I had sex the first time with my current boyfriend who I’m madly in love with.
      I just really do not understand the “waiting for marriage” argument. A lot of people my age use the counter-argument that you wouldn’t know if you were any good / your partner was good if it was your first time, but to me that’s unimportant.
      I am more at odds with the fact that women are seen as more special with their virginity than without it.
      A stretched hymen has nothing to do with how good of a person you are or how much you love your partner.

      By the way, this isn’t supposed to be attacking you, and I’m really sorry if it comes across that way. I’m just genuinely curious as to how people can still champion this viewpoint (although no potential STD’s is a good reason)

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  13. Guest

    I stopped counting after 40.

    Some were good (actually great), some were bad and some were just plain diiiiiiiirty!

    Guess I had to sex a few frogs to find my prince…!

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  14. A

    I’m 24. In the last week my number has gone from 13 to 17!

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  15. Untraceable

    My husbands’ number is 14 and mine is 1 (being my husband). We’ve been together since I was 20 and he was 26 (so 11 years now) and sometimes I wonder what I missed out on…… :/

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  16. HeeHaw

    That theory of 3′s is from American Pie 2! :)

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  17. Anonymous

    Whatever your number, your choice in life. However not too many blokes want a woman who has been like Debbie did in Dallas.

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  18. Latarche

    I am 29 and my number is 5. 2 were relationships that lasted nearly 5 years each. 2 were with people I knew but would be classified as a one night. The 5th is my current boyfriend of nearly 3 years.

    The one nighters never quite felt right for me…. I think I equate love with sex and thus enjoy it more when I feel something for the person other than friendship.

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  19. janellec68

    I’m all for privacy as far as my number goes. I haven’t asked my husband his, probably because I won’t tell him mine. I don’t bring up the subject with girlfriends, either. My number is high-ish, and sadly I regret almost all of them (alcohol + bad judgement + feeling used) so I just don’t go there in conversation. If my husband asked, which is unlikely seeing he hasn’t in the last 12 yrs, I would say “a lady never reveals the answer”. I’m sure there are many ladies out there who are happy to tell, I’m just not one of them.

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  20. donnamurphy

    I’m another one in the “I have no idea” category. I’m not at all interested in going back and tryinmg to remember or count. My past does not matter but my future does. I’ve been married for almost 10 years now and do not have any reason to remeber the path that got me here. I had a very promiscuis (and curious) late teens and very early 20′s and then slowed way down into 2 long term relationships. Nothing worth regretting but I would tell the 16 year old me that the wait is so much more worth it when its with someone really special :)

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  21. clarinette

    I didn’t , like, keep count or anything :s When I’m asked I say “not sure”, because it’s the truth lol, i’d have to go back and count them all, I’d forget some (I always forget the guy that cried afterwards that “nobody loved him”, and some one night stands) why would that matter anyway, it’s not like we learn something new everytime we have sex with a new person, it doesn’t change us mentally or physically…if you’ve done it once, you’re not a virgin anymore, that’s all I really know…..

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    • Anonymous

      A guy crying about not being loved? Wow, that’s one way to make sure there’s not repeat performance… ew.

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  22. Halo

    Oh countless. Lots of lucky fellas out there have sampled the magic. God bless all 50,60,70,80 (?) Of them. I fell no shame, just like a highly skilled athlete who has put the hard yards into learning the craft.

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    • Summer

      Awesome answer! Loving your work and am hoping to follow in your footsteps honing my craft as well :-) Thanks for the smile!

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      • M

        If your happy with it and safe, I really don’t think it matters what your number is. my biggest question is are people being safe? The last thing you want is a take home gift you can’t treat, like HIV or something.

        Sexual connectedness is so important so why not try before you
        buy? Or even just try and if you find something you like you can hang on to them. My number is pretty low (11) but Mr 11 was exactly perfect for me, so 6 years on we are still together. But who is to say my number is the right or wrong.

        Good luck with your adventures. I hope you enjoy them and maybe we can learn from you, wink wink.

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        • Summer

          For me the safe sex thing is not negotiable – can’t speak for others though, but the thought of an STD is scary!

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  23. HalfCarrieHalfCharlotte

    I read once that Kyle Sandilands had said he’d slept with ‘over 1000′ women. I didn’t think I was judgmental about that sort of stuff, but will admit I was quick to judge when I read that.

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    • donnamurphy

      I think in his case instead of dividing by three we need to divide by 300?

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      • kez

        And I can’t imagine then there’d even be 3.333 women who’d want to sleep with him!

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  24. missamoo

    I told my true number to a guy once and i’m pretty sure it’s what broke us up so from now on i lie LIE LIE LIE oh and perhaps fudge a little around the edges with a delicate sprinkling of omitting the complete truth. Of course if i think the guys is serious i will cut my number by two thirds, did i mention i might lie?

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    • Anonymous

      I knew about the “divide by three” rule years ago. I’ll never tell a guy how many guys I’ve actually slept with, even though I think it’s perfectly reasonable and I’m not at all ashamed. I won’t tell, even though I might ask him. The difference is that I can handle the truth (we’re all sexual beings with different experiences) whereas I believe most guys prefer the illusion of a girl with more… limited sexual forays. I think they like to see themselves as the first to introduce us to certain experiences. I don’t have a problem letting them believe it, since sex will always feel unique with a different person anyhow. I can’t help but suspect a guy would feel insecure if he knew the true number, even if he hid it well.

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      • Anon2

        I’m totally getting onto this one too late, but completely had the same experience with an ex. He couldn’t handle my number or my experience – quite sad really in this day and age to think some guys are so ‘old fashioned’ in their thinking in a way!

        I am not sure what i would say to the next guy who asked me – but i would hope he’s the kind of guy who COULD handle the truth because i wouldn’t want to lie.

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  25. dkmum

    My number is higher than my husband’s, yet I see him as being much more promiscuous than I was before we got together – he was a fan of one-night’ers… I do have five years on him, but I was also in a 9 year relationship before we got together. Must have been busy in that tiny little gap between relationships… hmmm

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  26. anon2

    My number is five. Im 19yo. And out of the five I regret three. Only because they were people who I used for selfish/stupid/revenge reasons. The other two, gorlfriends. One remains my best friend and one is my current girlfriend who id happily stay with for the rest of my life. I dont think numbers count. I think sex is what you make of it.

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  27. Not telling

    I’m 23, in my early 40s. I’ve been attached since 18 (except for 2 years). My husbqnd is in the 30s. Sadly I know my kids numbers (despite me putting my fingers in my ears each time I got told). Worse still, I even know my mother’s….

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  28. Anonymous

    3 and I regret the first two – I am 43 and only ever liked sexual intimacy with someone I loved. Been with husband for 22 years now and if anything I think of those first relationships as lacking meaning and real love.

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  29. blondage

    Well… it’s 6 x as many as my (male) partner… but that only equates to one every 4.66 months since I lost my virginity.

    The only two people who know the true number are myself and my BFF. And being that hers is 3.4x as many as mine – she’s not telling ANYONE :)

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  30. paul

    Sexually active from 15. Now 52. 3 long term relationships, including one 7 year marriage. In that time have had 68 sexual partners. Some people would think that high. But in 37 years of sexual activity – less than 2 partners per year. Puts it in perspective doesn’t it?

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  31. Lucy

    This doesn’t really come up as a topic of conversation amongst my friends, however, I have lied about how old I was when I lost my virginity (19 by the way) because that was considered ancient amongst company I used to keep. I’ve become way less ashamed of that; I’m not ashamed at all, and if the question of the number came up, I would without hesitation name it at 3, at 20 years old.

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    • Anon

      I actually lost mine at 22! But from 19 I lied to everyone that I had ‘lost’ it then… goodness.

      I’m 46 now, 21 years with the same man. However, my number of sexual partners is 10, all between the ages of 22-25 – I think I was trying to make up for lost time!

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  32. A different me today

    I’m at 11. Married with a family, monogomous for the last 15 years. One true one night stand, a few relationships and a few flings. No regrets.

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  33. Jade

    The longer I’m with my husband the more I genuinely can’t remember what my number is!
    I think its 11 but sadly I can no longer remember all my previous sexual partners. I remember my first, I loved him very much and we were on and off for a number of years. I remember other significant boyfriends but its the flings, blah relationships and non positive experiences that have dropped off my radar.
    I actually had a really akward moment recently whereby I found myself at and event with a large number of exes and men who I had *things with (my sis did a male dominated uni degree, I was younger and hot and so I think I worked my way though a number of them ;) . One fellow who i was sure I just had a *thing with ie flirtation, mutual admiration, the odd pash etc got a bit drunk and basically started doing a bit of the nudge nudge, how hot and heavy was or fling ehh. Very akward because my memory tells me we had a thing, but never dated and never shagged. This happened twice, with 2 different men on one evening!!! I’ve racked my brains, and there are a couple of experiences that I rember ie which movie I saw on a date and where we ate but I cannot put a face or name to it!!!! So obviously these were not significant experiences….
    So I was very confused – is my memory playing tricks, or is his?
    Anyway, basically what i’m saying is I have a number, but it really doesn’t matter as I really only remember significant experiences and relationships all the rest have no impact on my life and have been forgotten.
    So numbers mean nothing, its experience which impacts your life and your being that count.
    Maybe my number is actually 21, or 31 who knows. What I know now is i’ve been with my husband for 10 years, have beautiful children and we’re really happy and content with our sex lives and our sexual history.
    i’ve never asked his number. i don’t care, I know I am and always will be his most important pairing and he mine.

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    • clarinette

      Yeah I totally get what you mean. You can’t remember everyone you’ve ever slept with, one night in a life, especially after being in a monogamous relationship for a long time, in which you basically had sex every day…..

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      • Mel

        I hear ya. I’m the same the longer I’m in my happy relationship the less important the short flings, 1 night stands etc are and the less I remember them. I know I enjoyed them (well most of them). I don’t regret them but I don’t miss them

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  34. Joey

    I have never asked my partner and he has never asked me. It isn’t something I care about. I think I’m probably about 10. I can count up to 7 or 8 but I keep thinking I’ve forgotten someone. As that is the case I figure it can’t really be worth putting in too much time thinking about it. =)

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  35. jo

    Sam De Brito posted about this – from a male point of view of course but that’s not a bad thing- a while ago, well worth a read. He refers to msny women being reluctant to ‘own’ their numbers for both sexual partners and weight which I kind of identified with …

    http://www.smh.com.au/executive-style/culture/blogs/all-men-are-liars/owning-your-number-20110912-1k5jw.html

    Mine is somewhere above 35 and below 45. I am 40 and never been married or in a really long term relationship though, so it averages out at quite low (yes, I am attempting to justify my number!)

    I would be more interested in the here and now if I met Mr Right, so hope his ‘number’ wouldn’t be an issue to me if he ticked other boxes.

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  36. Cat

    The number doesn’t bother me. Granted, I have only been with a very satisfying 1, but I have known other girls with bigger numbers and have come to the following conclusion:

    I don’t mind how many people a woman (or man) chooses to sleep with, but I do mind their attitude and ability to handle the situation for what it is. If someone wants to have sex (because let’s face it, it’s fun) with someone they meet at a bar, I have no qualms if they are willing to accept there will likely be no happy endings in the long term from said hook-up and any risk of STIs etc. It’s the women who don’t have the self-respect going in to the one-nighter and come out on the other end even worse-off which cause me to lose respect.

    To some extent I also have a problem with some male “player” justifications to sex rather than respecting it for what it is, but that is a whole other part that I think everyone has heard before.

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    • Cat

      I should probably add that by no happy endings in the long term, I am reffering to the fact that no relationship is likely to result. I might be overthinking it, but I want to make sure that I don’t seem like a hypocrite from saying that.

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  37. Spunk

    I’m 23 and single. My number is 9 men and one woman. Most have been relationships, 1 one night stand, and a few are guys I was ‘seeing.’

    I found out my ex was cheating on me on new years day this year, broke up with him, and I have not had sex since. My friends and I joke that if you don’t have sex for a year you are an honorary virgin. I’m so close I figure I might as well get my honorary virginity back, lol.

    I’m pretty sure I prefer women anyway. Can’t believe it took me 9 guys to work that out :)

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    • Elli

      My number is also 9 guys 1 girl. I also lean towards women. Better late than never :)

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  38. ANON

    I’m 24 and my number is zero. I don’t see this as ‘bad’ or ‘good’..I’m very comfortable with it and I think that’s all that matters when it comes to numbers.

    On the topic of sex, relationships, dating…should a girl call a guy in the early stages of dating?? I went on the third date over the weekend and the guy said he’d call me on Monday or Tuesday…should I wait for him to contact me or text/call in the meantime so he knows I’m keen? So far he’s done EVERYTHING – all the calling and texting and asking out – and I’m worried he might think I’m not interested. What do others think?

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    • Spunk

      Tomorrow is Tuesday, so seize the day and text him something flirty but not to keen!

      Maybe reference something funny that happened/you talked about on your last date. Guys like to know you like them too :)

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    • Liz

      I work on a 3 to 1 rule at the start and then once I’m feeling confident 2 to 1. So for every 3 contacts, be it a text or a phone call or a fb message, I’ll initiate 1. Sounds silly i know, but I’ve found it weeds out the ones that can’t be bothered pretty quickly and my guys friends have all ok’d at as not to ‘games’y and something they’d be happy to work with.

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      • ANON

        That makes sense. Thanks Liz :-)

        I think I’ll wait for him to call this time round because he said he would and I like knowing the guy will follow through/back up his words. But next time, I will initate contact.

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  39. Yeah!

    Question: Would you count the men you did ‘everything but’ with in your tally?

    My first boyfriend and I did ‘everything but’. We were 16 and we were in love. His was the first penis I ever saw (and handled) and he was the first person I had oral sex with. I consider him to be a significant (and positive) person in my sexual history. In many ways, I feel as though I lost my virginity to him (even though my first experience of sexual intercourse with someone else). And yet, technically, he’s not even included in the tally.

    Your thoughts…

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    • godsangel

      Answer to your question, to me No i wouldnt, but thats just me, Anybody else want to comment and answer?.

      As for you and your 1st bf, well thats a beautiful thing you two had together, i wish i had a special experience like that.

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    • Sally

      I have a similar experience – my first sexual experience was ‘everything but’, and for me, it definitely felt like that moment was my loss of innocence, but in terms of numbers, I don’t count him.

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    • Yeah!

      Interesting. Thanks for your comments.

      Yes, others, feel free to chime in…

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    • Not telling

      Don’t think so. I know mine would probably triple if I did.

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    • Liz

      I’m in similar boat. I’ve fooled around with quite a few guys, but can count on one hand the number I’ve actually had full sex with. For me personally, I think if they’ve seen me naked while they were naked, it counts. I guess it comes down to if you think oral sex is sex? Does it count if only one of you gets it? It kinda hard to work out!

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    • Kricket

      I dont count it. I had a bf when I was 15 who I did everything but with also. But I love my virginity at 16 to a douchebag.

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  40. anon

    I stopped at 40 (my hubby), so over 20 years of being ‘active’ averages out at 2 a year.

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  41. La Bella Figura

    Somewhere around 10-15. Husband hasnt given me a straight answer n we have a laugh about it. I don’t care. What’s done is done before me. But I know it’s a longlist he was quite the Irish lad back home and here in oz and boy those Irish sure know how to use their charms…I’m yet to hear of an Irish kid who hasn’t got the girls lined up…they learn so young!

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  42. Dee

    Only 1 (long term relationship for 3 years) but sometimes I wish it was more… Especially when the other half has cheated…

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  43. Mizzy

    I’m 21 and my number is zero. Interestingly when I was 19 and went on a trip up to Queensland with some of my girlfriends I was in a club and this guy asked me if I was a virgin.

    I didn’t know the guy, was away from home and had a couple of drinks so didn’t really care if he knew so I told him – “Yes, I’m a virgin”. And oh god, his reaction was like I told him he could have a threesome with me a my girlfriend, his tongue was wagging.

    I don’t have a single problem with being a virgin (nothing to do with religion for anyone wondering), but some people’s reactions. Yuck! Oh and the world ‘purity’, *cringe*.

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    • godsangel

      being a 21 year old virgin is a beautiful thing these days be proud babe xoxox

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      • Mizzy

        Aww, thank you xx

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    • Gracie

      Mizzy, I know exactly what you mean! I’m 22 and still a virgin. It’s not something that bothers me, and like you, it’s not a religion choice. I just haven’t met the right person. But I swear, if I had a dollar for the number of times people have said to me “I didn’t know you were religious”…I would be one rich lady!! lol….But generally, I find most peoples responses amusing- particularly from guys.

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      • Mizzy

        Oh Gracie, once I really liked this guy and told him I was a virgin. In the middle of some amazing making out he interjects to ask “So why are you still a virgin?”. And then I replied “Because I just can’t find someone amazing enough to be entitled to my vagina, happy!?!”. We both started cracking up and we’re still friends, but yes the reactions can be awkward to say the least.

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        • picardie.girl

          Best. Response. Ever! :D

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        • Gracie

          Hah that’s awesome Mizzy! I might just use that line one day:P

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        • EfromC

          That’s a great line and it should be used by many!

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    • picardie.girl

      I was too until at least 25… so don’t fret. It’s not always because you are trying to stay a virgin, sometimes the opportunity just doesn’t arise :)

      Plenty of time yet. xx

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  44. Summer

    I am 40 and until a few weeks ago my number was 13 – and it was only 3 in the last 18 years… However, I have been celibate for a year after the breakup of my last relationship and I’ve decided that’s enough! Have had two very delicious encounters in the last few weeks and am just going with the flow and enjoying the physical interactions. Oh, and did I say I am also officially a cougar too :-)

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  45. Anonymous

    I have a friend who started dating a guy when she was 16, and he was her first and only until she was 26 – when she found out all at once that she was pregnant and had an STI, form her cheating, scumbag boyfriend of 10 years. She miscarried her baby and went off the rails for a little while. She’s not sure, but she thinks she slept with over 100 guys in about six months, on one occasion two different guys on one night. It was not pretty, and she was a wreck for a while, but once she finally addressed her pain she got through it. Now, she has been in a steady relationship for 4 years and is really ashamed of herself about that time – and has not told her partner.
    No number could ever make him understand the pain she went through – and the hill she climbed to get over it. No number could make me any less proud of her for surviving an awful situation, and there is no number that would make me judge her, or others like her.

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    • La Bella Figura

      Poor thing!!!! She dodged a bullet with that piece of sh-t. Um sure her man will understand.

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      • Anonymous

        She absolutely dodged a bullet – the guy is now a newsreader for one of the commercial channels and my kids love when I yell at him through the TV – they don’t know why, but love that I do it.
        I think my friends biggest problem in being open about her ‘number’ is that she herself is not comfortable with it and feels ashamed. I think her man would understand, but I think it was such a difficult time for her that it would still be really hard for her to open up about it fully.

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  46. godsangel

    Im 23 yrs old and my number is around the 18-20 , and guess what im far from ashamed of it. I respect everyone else that have disclosed their number, everybody’s circumstances are different.
    For me when i was between 16 and 19 i was silly and made some mistakes but have learnt from them. Since then i have had a 2 relationships 1 for around 12 months and other almost 2 years , since then i have been single and doing my thing. i admit things have been busy in last 8 or so months but now in a situation i have a “playmate” and i see him when i want to for sex and thats it , thats all i want at the moment and i know he is not in a position to have me in a relationship.
    I have been with females too and those females are not included in my “number” but i know i can count all of the women with out using two hands lol.
    So for me there is no right number, everybody is different and that’s who they are. There are alot of very valid comments people have left here, and its great that free speech is so acceptable in the glorious country we call home aka Australia . mwahz xoxox

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  47. Jessica

    I’m 25 and my number is four. Three relationships and one fling. But I couldn’t care less what anyone’s number is.

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  48. anna84

    I’m 27 years old and I’m not posting under ‘anonymous’ because I have always been honest about my number. If someone judges me for it, that’s their problem, I don’t really care. Plus I tend to go out with guys that are not the type to judge me on the amount of sexual partners I’ve had.
    I just did a count and I’ve slept with 18 people. That’s only including penetrative sex, if you include genital contact it’s probably more like 25. I lost my virginity at 17.
    One of my friends is 28 and still a virgin. I had another friend when I was living o’seas around the same age who had slept with roughly 300 people. I don’t judge either of them, that’s their choices.

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  49. Courtney

    Whats the difference between 100 penis’s* in you, or the same penis* 100 times .. (safe sex of course!)

    NOTHING…

    (*vagina also)

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  50. Annie

    One and I’m 21, we’ve been together since we were 19. When I think about the possibility of having more partners in the future, I’m torn between the horror of multiple men having to see me naked and feeling like I should be Playing the Field More.

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