She’s young, blonde and distracted in that self-centred, teen way. She’s got a daggy boyfriend and her clothes hang off her tiny hips. She lives on raspberry liquorice and red cordial. She’s got no boundaries and is prone to the odd inappropriate and thoughtless remark. Just your typical teenager really.
If I had to guess I’d put her at sixteen, though she could be younger. She says she is eighteen but it’s hard to believe her because her habit has already stunted her growth and because the standard line when the youngest ones walk in is, ‘I’ve just turned eighteen.’ It’s the underage mantra.
She has a boyfriend and works for the both of them, walking the street. They both have a heroin habit. They share it, and their homelessness. But I don’t see the romance in this addictive relationship, which is wearing them into the ground.
‘I’m off to work,’ she chirps, her tender age unmistakable in the skewed movements of her uncontrolled and angular limbs. He lingers after she has been taken by a car, stoned and playing at spotter*, mostly failing to take down the number plates like he’s supposed to. He’s dopey and pretty much monosyllabic. Another typical teen: baseball cap, acres of boxer short above his waistband and a slouchy ‘tude.
She is very sweet of course, naive and faintly abrasive, but unarguably sweet. Yesterday she wrote on the whiteboard:
I (heart) you guys. thank-u for ur (heart) and support without this place I wouldnt get through (heart) Angel xxx
And then added the moniker of teen love:
Angel (heart) S. xxxxxx
I’m surprised she didn’t add a 4 EVA.
On Monday, Angel was raped. Raped by a client who beat her with his belt in the hotel room that he had booked for his lunchtime jerk-off. He pushed her on the bed and raped her from behind without a condom while she cried, all the while berating her for her tears.
The hardest part is that Angel is not the exception to the rule. The youngest ones are the easiest targets for violence at the hands of mugs. C. is another young girl who walked in today and, in a tiny voice, asked if she could drop some fits off in our yellow bins. She had two big hickies on her neck and I reckon she was no older than fifteen. She talked so quietly, eyes darting this way and that, about her habit and her baby and how guilty she felt about not being able to breastfeed. All the while I could not help but notice the scars, track marks and bruises on her skinny arms.
She told me she was on the street for the first time after ten days in hospital. She had been beaten by a mug and dumped unconscious in Richmond. I made enquiries into what sort of support she was getting, trying to conceal my dismay. She was reluctant to discuss it and left with a soft smile, back to business. All I could think about was the horrible future I could see stretched before her. She’s just a baby, but one that has a baby and a heroin habit that she works on the street to support. She should be in school having fun.
A friend and I had a discussion this week about the rhetoric that sex work is empowering. I’m not a sex worker so this is just my gut feeling, not individual experience. But this kind of sex work – street sex work – this doesn’t seem empowering. This seems like slavery. Slavery to a habit sure, but more than that it is slavery to the idea that men can let their sexual desires run rampant, can fuck without a measure of self control, and that this is sanctioned by the fact that the act is transactional. It’s almost always vulnerable women who ultimately pay for the most insidious of men’s fantasies.
Every day our society reinforces the notion that men and women are inherently different. From the time our children are young, we squeeze them into gender-assigned roles that tell them how they can and can’t behave. Muddled up in all that should and shouldn’t is the myth that somehow, biologically, sex is a male desire for which society needs to cater to. It’s so ingrained that it filters down to the street level to become an excuse that sees a middle-aged man rape a young woman. I don’t buy it. I don’t buy that we have to sit back and indulgently support the uncontrolled sexual desires of men.
But we do. The onus is almost always on sex workers to stop their ‘socially destructive behaviour’. Very few countries target the men who solicit them instead. Very few cultures question a man’s right to be oversexed. Many tolerate appalling standards of sexual behaviour. You only have to look at the pack-raping antics of football teams to prove that point.
Society’s steady diet of porn, advertising, movies and music videos stream an insidious message into our consciousness. The message is that men are allowed to need sex and women are vessels for that need. The effect of that message is the dangerous and degrading sex act enacted on a teenager in a St Kilda hotel room at lunch time. And all the while we walk obliviously by.
*A spotter is someone, usually a boyfriend or friend, who takes down the registration number of the cars the sex workers get into. They also take note of how long the job should last for, and other identifying details. They usually receive a percentage of the sex workers’ earnings for this. Often street sex workers will spot for each other; a camaraderie and mutual protection which has been seen to play an important part in sex workers’ health and safety.
Gemma-Rose Turnbull is an award winning photographer, who has just released her first book Red Light Dark Room; Sex, lives & stereotypes which was the result of a collaborative project with a group of street sex workers in St Kilda. The book has received vast acclaim and attention, and is being sold to raise money for St Kilda Gatehouse, a non profit organization who provide a safe haven off the street for marginalised women.
Street sex work, which involves the trading of sexual services for money or drugs at the street level, is a particularly hazardous and stressful occupation. Those engaged in street sex work tend to be the most marginalised, oppressed, and stigmatised. These women face many daily challenges, including physical and sexual assaults, ill treatment by the public, housing instability, incarcerations and continued financial difficulties. These women often suffer from physical and mental health issues related to their work and lack of appropriate medical or psychological care.








Comments
231 Comments so far
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I have a friend who is a sex worker. The sad thing is this friend of mine is well educated; she is now doing her postgrad in counselling. She was offered a job as a research assistant in a lab and she only went for two weeks. She quit and started working at a massage parlor. I didn’t judge her. She said she wanted the money. It paid better. She has posed in men’s’ magazines and had also walked on the streets. My friend actually has a choice. She has friends who love her, a mother who still supports her, she also gets money from welfare, and she has a top notch education but she still chooses to work at the massage parlor.
I don’t think it is empowering at all. No matter what women say I believe the majority of them are completely deluded. My friend on most days would come home extremely depressed and full of doubt if she didn’t fill out her quota of clients for the day, she would constantly need to be reassured about how attractive she was and that she was worthy. She would also be in a horrible temper and be extremely abrasive. Now I understand some people don’t have a choice when they go into this business and my heart goes out to them. They are the ones who truly need our help. My friend is not one of these women.
She had plenty of choices she still does. She like every other woman in the industry goes on about how empowering it is – that is nothing but a load of crap because it is just like any other addiction. I used to be like the other women out side of the industry who had no idea what the sex industry was like and how it affected them and I thought they should be allowed to do it if they want to. I now realize they really are the victims and the men the perpetrators. I am not using kiddy gloves here when I say the sex industry has always used women and it has gotten to the point that women now defend it and actually profess to love it. I am sure some genuinely do but that would be a very small minority.
Either way It is sad to hear so many women actual defend the industry that continues to use and abuse women for sex.
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I have read quite a few of the comments and the article, and I have a question. You see I have worked in a bunch of different jobs, service and clerical, in Government jobs, Private enterprise, small business, legal etc. I’ve made coffee in a hideous one-size-fits-all uniform, worn a suit and hosted public receptions for power brokers. I haven’t loved all the jobs that I’ve had, but some of them have been brilliant. Some have paid well, and some have paid barely minimum wage. They’ve all had two things in common:
Abusive people (colleagues, bosses, clients)
&
People who feel trapped in their job and want out
For about every 100 people I’ve worked with, one has been at least inappropriate, and at worst abusive. Some have left me or a coworker so rattled following a confrontation that we’ve had to take a break from work (varying length, anything from a 20min sit down to some days off work), and others have just become good stories.
In every case of abuse, no-one has said ‘well it’s pretty uncommon, so we’ll say that it’s unreasonable to think that we should do something about this situation’. These situations instead have generated solidarity and change in the way that the job is undertaken.
For the second scenario, people who feel trapped and want out, again, these situations have generated support amongst colleagues and people have banded together and accessed their social networks to try and help the person out of the hole that they feel that they’re in.
So here’s my question, why is it that when I read the responses from people who are apparently in the sex industry, do they close ranks so dramatically? I believe that it would be far more sincere and gain far more support if the response was “Yes, like any other industry we actually do have instances of abuse” or “Yes, like any other industry there are people who feel stuck and can’t see a way out, we’re using our resources (time, money, goods etc) to help them get out”.
Just curious
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There are predators (yes, they are mostly men) out there, but what I do not understand is the other people, that look the other way or make excuses for this behaviour.
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I really don’t understand what point you are making here T. What relevance does your comment have to the subject at hand – namely street-based sex work?
It sounds to me like you have your own agenda and some issues to work out there & I genuinely wish you luck with that. But I’m confused about the point you’re making here.
I wonder if you have read any of the excellent comments here from actual sex workers – such as “Randy Dollars” pertinent words?
‘…this book… promotes the idea that sex workers need rescue and need saviours to speak on our behalf. We don’t.
And we surely don’t need laws that criminalise us or our clients…”
No one in our industry is “looking the other way” and we don’t wish to be told what to do by obsessive control freaks with a moral superiority complex.
Our clients are NOT sexual predators – if that is indeed what your ambiguous comment is attempting to imply.
Why is it so hard for some people to grasp this simple fact – the difference between violence and a cash transaction between consenting adults? They are not the same thing at all.
It is possible that the guy you buy your bread from, or your local butcher, might be in danger of being violently assaulted by one of their own customers – but not that likely.
Despite popular myth, it is about as unlikely that one of our paying customers will do the same to us. In 8 years it’s never happened to me. Fact.
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Guys – with the greatest of respect and without wanting to speak for the author, I believe she was telling some individual stories that represent one part of the sex worker industry.
As an outsider, I read them with nothing but empathy and sadness for the situation of girls and women (and men and boys) who have to earn a living that way and subject themselves to that kind of danger and degradation.
In a post where you’re telling one person’s story, it is by definition, ONE person’s story. Not the story of an industry. Not even the story of every street sex worker.
The reason we wanted to publish this post was to give those of us whose worlds don’t include sex workers an insight into the real, human problems they face.
The idea of that -as with every post that unearths an otherwise pretty silent minory group – is to promote understanding and tolerance.
That was the intention of running the post.
I hope you can understand and appreciate that.
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Hi Mia, sorry but I can’t agree with what you have posted.
First the author was not “telling some individual stories that represent one part of the sex worker industry”. They were at best telling some stories that represent one part of one very small part of the sex worker industry.
That one part is estimated to be as low as 2% and not higher than 5% of the industry, so focussing on a sub group of that minute part is far from representative. So I don’t see how you can then say that “The reason we wanted to publish this post was to give those of us whose worlds don’t include sex workers an insight into the real, human problems they face”
As you can see in the comments we have spoken loud and clear that these are not representative of the problems that we face.
“empathy and sadness for the situation of girls and women (and men and boys) who have to earn a living that way and subject themselves to that kind of danger and degradation” As a former street based sex worker I can tell you that many street based workers do street based work by choice (I did), we do not suffer degradation in our work and the dangers are often much exaggerated.
It is also disingenuous to say that the author is only telling one person’s story. For the first ten or so paragraphs this is true but the from the line “The hardest part is that Angel is not the exception to the rule” the author extends Angels story to that of all street based workers and then to comment on sex work in general.
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It’s that small sub group that Gemma has written about. I have seen it first hand (when I went to the Gatehouse to donate clothes and make-up) last year. And I have experienced it myself (when I worked the streets of St Kilda to support my–since beaten–heroin habit, while trying and failing to support my own child) twelve years ago. This is not a slight against sex workers or a portrayal of sex workers in general, but it is a true portrayal of life as an addict on the street as a sex worker. Add abuse and homelessness into the mix and the effect is devastating. These girls/women have been marginalized, Gemma’s account of this does exist, and they do need help, and understanding, and most of all, compassion. I deeply respect any woman who chooses sex work, and I would love to see your stories on Mamamia (or anywhere else for that matter) too; however, this is about a small section of society that just gets ignored, spat on and judged. I commend Gemma for her work and bringing this subject into the light.
The stereotype of a heroin addicted street sex worker is a cliche; it’s used in movies and stories all the time; and it’s a cliche because it’s true and it does exist. Your right though, it’s a small percentage! But doesn’t it just make it sadder that this exists and these particular women suffer and nothing is done about it?
Ps. My life is great now!
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I don’t see this how this article can possibly promote understanding or tolerance-
it only confirms every stereotype and stigma that society puts on sex workers.
What ever you might think of sex work as earning a living “THAT WAY” – it gives people means to make a living, and at times it maybe the only thing that one gets sense of self esteem and well being from. Last thing sex workers need is for article like this to degrade that. I agree with Christian(from post below)- at the very worst times in my life, sex work is what got me through.Please stop judging life styles that you know nothing about.
Far from understanding or empathy that you suggest,
all that articles like these do is sensationalize other’s misfortune while promoting more stigma and prejudice which brings about more discrimination and laws that harm us- all in the name of “helping”.
If you really want to help, please support the sex worker’s organization so that workers have more rights and can create our own space to better help ourselves and do what we need to do in respectful/dignified space.
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Did the author tell you the story about the women she photographed who are very upset with the way their photos and stories have been misrepresented by the author?
Did the author tell you the story about the street based sex workers in the book who actually feel used and exploited by the book?
That’s the story that is missing here.
We actually have a voice. By promoting this book MamaMia promotes the idea that sex workers need rescue and need saviours to speak on our behalf. We don’t.
And we surely don’t need laws that criminalise us or our clients. This book project is a large piece of moralism wrapped up in some non-consensual photography and a bunch of stereotypes. Clearly the author has a political agenda. Its just a shame that as sex workers when we voice ours, you find it harder to listen.
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naa, c’mon, this was just another ‘ratings spinner”
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You can’t be serious- “One person’s story”? Have you read the headline?!?!
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I find this post quite disrespectful, cliched and blind sighted.
It is another one of those mamamia posts that tries to come across as open minded and balanced but is a thin disguise for ‘come on all lets real em all in for a good judging session, not to mention a lot of hits for the day”
I watched a doco once about a sex worker who exclusively looks after men who are disabled, both mentally and physically. Apparently there is a high demand as ‘regular’ women aren’t dating or marrying these men. The doco was extremely insightful, educating and I came away full of admiration for the woman.
This is another topic that in no way fits into the suburban stereotypes.
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If it is the same one, I listened to a Conversations with Richard Fidler interview with her. She was awesome.
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This would be the amazing Rachel Wotton who is the subject of the documentary Scarlet Road http://www.scarletroad.com.au/about/
Richard Fidler interview is at http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2012/01/31/3419557.htm
and if you are interested in a sex workers view on the Swedish Model (criminalisation of clients) Rachel who has worked in Sweden gives their views here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTXh8NQYK7k&feature=channel
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What a patronising, judgemental and hopelessly biased view on street sex work. That the workers involved were mislead and exploited is even more disturbing, if not surprising, given the ‘morals’ of the this type of helper/saviour rhetoric & pity porn.
As has been pointed out by others in the comments, there are many jobs that hold an inherent risk (soldier, fire fighter, police, etc), & what risk exists in sex work is wildly overstated by those attempting to bolster their often abolitionist arguments (& who believe statistics are legitimate if made up and then repeated often enough). I can easily list workplace injuries & instances of sexual harassment from so called ‘straight’ jobs I have held but have to think hard to recall problems from my sex work (which includes a significant stretch of street sex work). What risk does exists in sex work is created by continuing stigmatization in society & a lack of recognition of sex work as real work.
Stop trying to reduce the discussion around sex work to a binary gendered discussion which invisiblizes the experiences of male/trans/intersex sex workers. Not all sex workers are female. Not all clients are male. I know this doesn’t fit neatly into the arguments that many abolitionists or proponents of the swedish model like to make – but get over it – you can’t make reality go away by ignoring it.
I worked on the streets for years. I can’t say every day was a picture postcard – but looking back on ANY job you’ve held would you? I value my days in street sex work and would not trade a single one of them.
Listen to the voices of sex workers.
We don’t need to be saved – we need to be heard.
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How sad, how very sad
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I feel sorry for you that you have ever ever felt the need to sell yourself & that you think that’s ok.
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Exploitive and self serving! This article is publicity for a book which did great damage to the lives of some of the women photographed. Women took part in the project believing it to be an opportunity for them to photograph their daily lives and what held meaning for them with them taking the photos. For some who took part it became an exploitation of their lives so that readers could feel pity for these women. Exposing these women so publicly left them open to further violence and trauma. I was first hand to the trauma two of them experienced. I am saddened that Gemma continues to be so wreckless with the stories she was privileged to hear and see.
Each time an article is run in the newspapers there is direct fallout of acts of degradation and violence on street sexworkers. Stimulating read while having your latte..not so great for the girl who has cups of urine thrown in her face by three men.
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I didn’t realise the workers were tricked in that way, if it is true then it is disgusting.
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I’m not going to get in to the background on how these particular stories were gathered or told, but when you say that “each time an article is run in the newspapers there is direct fallout of acts of degradation and violence on street sexworkers” it strikes me as exactly the kind of point that Gemma-Rose is making about this industry…
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All these people purporting to be sex workers on here and stating “it’s just a job, there’s nothing wrong with it” – most other jobs don’t carry a very high risk of physical assault, sexual assualt, rape, theft, arrest or murder.
I read one of the links from the website someone posted below and they showed a huge international study done (over 11 countries) which showed that sex workers have 40 times the mortality rate of women in other jobs (!!) and that 98% of sex workers have been physicall assaulted in the course of their work, and 96% have been sexually assaulted in the course of their work.
I’m sorry, but HOW is that a normal job? HOW is it empowering to be endangering yourself every day? I don’t understand why someone would CHOOSE that lifestyle (eg rather than having it chosen for them by circumstance). It IS the sex industry that’s the issue – the very nature of the job is dangerous. Don’t pretend it’s not.
(p.s the capitals are for emphasis not yelling:) )
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Firstly – which countries, where & what are the laws related to sex work in those countries? Your comments are vague & therefore disingenuous.
Sex work becomes dangerous when it is criminalised and pushed underground. In Australia it is RELATIVELY safe as it is decriminalised in most states (though we have a long way to go with our workers rights yet)
Even so, sure, there are risks. no one is denying that. But what’s your point? Why not target stunt workers, helicopter pilots or soldiers in the armed forces.
Why just us? Personally speaking, the risks are part of what attracts me to this work. It’s exciting. Some people like to be excited. Is that a crime?
You need to comprehend that you can not force your personal ethics on others. I have a moral issue with the armed forces. But I can’t force that on others can I?
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The sexual violence doesn’t occur because they are sex workers.
It occurs because somebody chose to perpetrate sexual violence.
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No one’s blaming the sex workers for the sexual violence – they don’t deserve it or ask for it and they shouldn’t be exposed to it. But the fact is that the nature of the job (going to private spaces with strangers, in a particular context) exposes them to the risk of sexual violence to an extent that other jobs don’t.
I think she was making the point that it’s harmful to dimish or deny the risks involved in sex work and pretend it’s a safe, easy job.
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But it’s equally harmful to sex workers to overstate the risks and harms.
In the fifteen years I’ve done sex work (five of them on the street), I’ve never been a victim of violence from a client. I’m not saying our job is 100% safe and easy- I’m saying those of us who experience sex work inthis way have learnt the skills to do so.
For a long time I believed that I would be raped and murdered, I believed I would catch every disease, develop a debilitating drug habbit die of an overdose and no one would care. I believed it because people told me it would happen, over and over again. I believed no one would help me.
And you know what- it was all rubbish- none of it came true.
But before I realised that- could you imagine what it does to a person to believe that is their life? Did you think happy and full of self worth? Of course not- the effect of your pity and stigma is shame, powerlessness and poor self esteem.
In Victoria, no one is teaching sex workers these skills- instead we have a bunch of services and charities dealing with the fallout of the problems- not interested in ever fixing them.
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Christian is right. We are workers working within our chosen, legal profession. If there are conditions that make it unsafe, then we have the right to DEMAND safer working conditions. We also know how to make this happen – what needs to be done. We don’t need external “advocates”, we are entirely capable of fighting for our own rights thank you very much.
Our primary claim is the right to determine our own working conditions for ourselves.
Just like any other worker.
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I’ve found Nicky, “A Sex Worker” and Cam’s posts to be so full of anger that they can’t seem to engage with or logically respond to anyone’s comments or the facts presented, which made all their comments empty and unconvincing.
I think you made your point very well and very clearly, without anger, accusations or defensiveness. And it was therefore convincing. I hate that the whole sex industry exists (for about a million reasons), but even with that bias, your comment got through. Thanks for finally making an argument from the opposing side that I could engage with.
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Ladies, ladies, ladies. Calm down for a moment.
I am sure it is easy for you to sit in your middle class bedrooms surrounded by the latest gadgets, with your lace curtains and crisp bedspreads and pronounce judgement upon others….but guess what? Not everyone is in the same situation as you.
I am someone who occasionally pays for sex, I am also friends with girls who work on on the street, in brothels and as private escorts. And it might surprise you to know that they are people who have made decisions to work in this industry, the same way that you have made decisions in your life. Last Sunday I marched at the Sex Worker Pride March and it was a liberating and empowering experience.
This article perpetuates negative stereotypes, NOT reality. You won’t learn much watching Secret Diary of a Call Girl, go and read Kate Holden’s book instead. The men are all abusers who want to rape and take advantage of young girls? The women are all druggies who have to subject themselves to degrading acts? Give me a break. What do you really know about these men and women? The men come from all backgrounds, some are lonely, some are disabled and need love and attention, some like variety and no strings attached fun, some might be YOUR HUSBANDS.
So Gemma-Rose Turnbull and the rest of the mothers’ club…stop judging others and make sure your own backyard is in order first.
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Call Girl, by Jeanette Angell is another example of sex work which isn’t solely focused on the negatives, but then again, she chose to go into the industry so she’ll obviously have different experiences to girls who have found themselves there.
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You lose all credibility when you include a disingenous comment about class in your opening line of what might one day pass for an argument…
Dont get me wrong – you raise some interesting points, but only once you get past the condescending tone.
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Cait, it is true I have contempt for those people who judge from a position of privilege….
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Yes but rather than being condescending, if you had presented your argument in a more balanced way, people would be more receptive to your suggestions, rather than siging off while offended.
You find ‘their’ view of the industry offensive (even if that offense isnt intentional), yet you dont hesitate to offend ‘them’ personally. It really makes you seem no better than the people whom you have contempt for.
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Don’t you have anything better to do than to argue semantics….this is an emotional issue for many people and so I expressed my feelings and gave my perspective. You could have used your two posts much more poductively by actually giving your response to the issues!
What is your relationship to the sex industry? What did you think of the article?
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For what it’s worth, as a worker, I appreciated your comments One Punter. Another myth I am heartily tired of is the stereotype of the “sleazy guys who pay for sex”. As has already been pointed out, more & more women are paying for sex these days & couples also. All kind of people for all kinds of reasons. From light-hearted entertainment to serious healing.
I respect all my clients the same way any worker respects those they do business with. Some more than others.
But where you hit the nail on the head I think was with the “husband” comment. Anti-sex “feminists” I think are just a bit uptight about these kind things
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Give me a break! I have lace curtains & I crisp bedspread because I work hard for them! I listened in school, I got a job in a takeaway at 14 like most kids, I chose to have sex with boyfriends, I steered clear of drugs. I finished school worked 2 jobs & went to university by distance by paying for it with HECS because my parents
couldn’t afford it. Choices I made! Don’t justify your choices by saying we had ours served up because we are middle class. What a load of crap! I choose to work hard, I choose to have nice bedlinen & I choose to have relationships where the sex is free & loving – you could too.
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I briefly worked in the adult industry as a masseuse (with a happy ending) at the tender age of 17 when I could not get centrelink benefits because my parents earned too much. I was estranged from them due to abuse and we went through a painful process in which they pretty much had to disown me for me to be able to receive benefits (I was studying at the time) in order for me to stop working in the industry.
In the brief time I worked in the massage parlour, all of the women there didn’t want to be. A single mother. An exchange student. Several junkies who had been subjected to severe child abuse and could not escape the cycle.
I then went on to sell lingerie to women in the adult industry and I heard many stories. I would say about 1% actually wanted to be working in the industry, 99% not but were forced to by lack of other opportunities. This makes me terribly sad.
I have nothing against women who love their job in the industry, but sadly many do not. They feel like they have no other choice. And girls under the age of 18 (like I was) should be supported and helped so they don’t need to ever sell themselves at such a young age that they cannot comprehend and make an adult decision into what they are doing.
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In Glasgow, (Scotland), the emphasis is on prosecution of those who kerb crawl, rather than the women on the street who are sex workers.
It should be noted that women who work on the street (as opposed to in brothels or so called massage parlours) are those most vulnerable to attack and those most likely to be in the throes of drug dependency, leading
to them exposing themselves to risks that other sex workers would not normally….
In addition, the police have worked hard in Scotland to make it easier for sex workers to report rape (common law states that it is rape for a punter to have sex on the understanding that it will cost them “x” amount, then refuse to pay) and local police forces have areas where street sex workers are tolerated (and therefore not prosecuted) and charities which run buses etc and provide hot food, drinks, contraception and a place to chat are encouraged.
And my experience as a former police officer? Not yet met one “Belle Du Jour” type sex worker, who was in the industry voluntarily, free of constraint/pimp/drug addiction and simply because they loved sex…
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Can I just add that this discussion has been extremely informative and I’ve loved going through and reading all the different points of view and debate – especiallly when it’s gotten heated. It’s not a part of life that I’ve ever really been exposed to so the discussion below has really opened my eyes. Thanks everyone.
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I’m grateful for this post. Its easy for the outsiders to walk the streets of St Kilda and judge, to throw eggs and to hurl abuse without humanising the women. For me it gives an insight. A real insight that I think others need to know. Sure – everyones experience is different. It seems Gemma Rose has told her encounter. I’m grateful for that and hopefully I will be slower to judge and faster to try to understand.
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I don’t doubt that there are prostitutes like those who have apparently commented below (although not convinced that the comments themselves are genuine – I think there are a fair few people with a vested interest in perpetuating the idea of the happy hooker) who have freely chosen their occupation and either enjoy it or don’t see it as that bad. But I suspect they are a minority and it makes about as much sense to base social policy on their view as it does to approach anti smoking from the perspective of Great Uncle Fred who smoked 8 packets a day and lived to 99 with never a sick day in his life.
What should we do about prostitution though? As a libertarian I don’t think society has any business telling adults what they should and shouldn’t do and this applies to things I think are harmful and wouldn’t do myself such as abortion, drug use and, yes, prostitution. But I do think from a public nuisance perspective action cracking down on street prostitution is justified as is keeping criminals from benefiting from the proceeds. As with soft drugs, I think the Dutch have quite a lot to teach us about minimising overall harm in this area – as most would know, prostitution is tolerated but on an individual rather than mass brothel basis, there are regular health checks, street prostitition and drug use is not permitted, organised crime is kept out and the police go to a lot of trouble to make sure that the prostitutes are neither coerced nor abused by clients. As far as I can tell, it seems to work pretty well and prostitution in the red light areas of Amsterdam is a low key part of the scenery with few of the obvious social problems it attracts elsewhere.
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Whether or not we are the minority is not the point.
We are sex workers who choose our work. We are sex workers who derive strength, pride and self esteem from our work, just as others benefit from their jobs. We have learnt skills that make us good at our jobs, manage occupational risk and support each other through challenging times. We prove that it is possible that sex work can be just as positive, rewarding and beneficial as any other job.
We also know that sex work does not happen this way for everyone. Sex workers who experience our jobs as positive are all too aware of the barriers that prevent it from being so. We know that criminalisation is a major cause of stigma particularly against very vulnerable sex workers. We know that legislation is so far removed from the realities of our work that they offer us no protection, support or benefits- we are on our own and we have to make it up with our fingers crossed that it will all work out. When individuals deny that sex work could be positive- they perpetuate its negativity- and this seemingly inescapable and desperate sadness is the consequence of spreading the stereotypes about us. We know all of this yet we are the ones ignored. An artist puts up her hand and says “Let me tell you what it’s really like” and she is decorated with awards and prominent media spots- why? WE, the ones who could actually help, the ones who’ve lived the experience of making it better, are ignored while others bask in the glory of our suffering. And in the applause no one is listening to us.
Whether or not we are the minority is not the point. Our point is that we don’t have to be.
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Christian, what are your thoughts about teenagers working in the industry, like the girl described in the story above?
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I wish that the teenager, described above and photographed by Gemma, could access genuine community support instead of having her personal story laid bare here for all of you to feel pity for.
The more I read about this photo project the sadder I become that it is gaining any kind of creedence by the MamaMia website.
Its the exploitation of other people lives for the purpose of making the Australian middle-class feel bad for sex workers.
As a sex worker, I don’t want your pity.
A bit of solidarity would go a long way.
And I also want to say thanks to the MamaMia moderators for publishing the comments by sex workers. Too often we are silenced by the very websites who profit from negative portrayals of our work.
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I find this comment appalling, judgemental and completely whorephobic; especially for someone who wont even sign their name
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It is true… No one respects women who dont respect themselves..
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Anon, please watch your comments. I’m loathe to be deleting but your trail of comments in this thread appear to be deliberately antagonistic to individual commenters. Dinner party rules please.
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thankyou again Christian. Your dignified response to ignorant and discrimminatory repsonses such as the one above is an inspiration, for me at least.
Why is that sex workers are continually singled out like this? Do all workers in all industries love their jobs? Of course not, work sucks.
But we all have to do it and, as you have illustrated, we do have choices. Sex work is a choice.
When it ceases to be a choice it’s no longer work it’s slavery – & that also applies to every industry.
My message to the prejudiced is stop targeting us & persecuting us. We didn’t invent the capitalist system, we are just trying to fit into it like everybody else.
Stop judging us & start showing us Respect.
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I agree and respect your opinion. And I do think that Gemma’s article was very one-sided and NEEDED a response like yours to follow it up.
I’ll preface what I have to say by saying my opinion is also a bit one sided as I’m a counsellor who has had a number of sex-workers come to me. Given that they were coming to me in my capacity as a mental health clinician, these weren’t ones who were doing especially well. I’m sure that not all sex workers experience mental health issues but the ones I saw did.
But just remember Jemma was talking about 16 year olds here. d year olds don’t make an informed choice to do this line of work, because, children can’t consent to sex.
P0rn star, Tracey Lord’s, story of working as a 16 year old in the industry is pretty heartbreaking.
But from my experience, not only children are vulnerable- Adults with issues of trauma and abuse, are also not as likely to make informed consent.
More power to you, if you are making an informed choice to do so and your interactions are respectful and consenting. But unfortunately, this isn’t always the case…
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Thank you for listening Susan, and also for sharing your own experiences.
Again, the solution to the issues you have illustrated, is to end the constant onslaught of discrimination against our industry. Withstanding the constant prejudice & legal issues that we face across our industry is draining. It makes it that much harder for us to form our own unions & regulate our industry like any other so we can appropriately address the workplace issues you have outlined.
It’s that simple – give us the opportunity to establish legal & safe workplaces & we will give you legal & safe workers. We can’t guarantee that they will all be happy – but what industry can?
Meanwhile, we are shovelling the proverbial up the hill & articles like Gemma’s continue to make things worse for us, not better.
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Why doesn’t St Kilda have safehouses where prostitutes can take their clients for services? Because Louise Asher the local member stopped it . Sydney had them in the 1990′s and they probably saved my life. By the way not all sex workers are doomed. I’m presently completing a Bachelor of Arts at University of Melbourne.
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Wow, that’s a great idea! What a shame to get rid of them. And I mean shame in the sense that the MP should feel it.
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Yes I too have used the safe houses in Kings Cross, just off William Street.
St Kilda is overdue to get this important service!
Maybe if St Kilda has safe houses assault like that described in the article above could be prevented.
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How are they operated? Like are there security guards, or duress alarms? Or is it sort of like a brothel but you go in and out as you need?
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Info on Safe Houses here
http://www.swop.org.au/the-law/other-laws-you-should-know/safe-houses
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This is so offensive.
Yet another “artist” making a dollar out of our lives and suffering.
A compelling read? I’m glad you’re entertained by the misery of others. Who do you imagine this article helps? Those who hide in the darkness? Because being thrust into the light is exactly what they want- Oh Please.
The only person benefiting from this is the person on the other side of the lens. And this is the person telling you “what it’s really like”? Did she tell you that the woman in the image here considers those scars one of her most private parts and that publishing it in a newspaper without her informed consent caused her to hide from the world sobbing in shame. And you dare judge her “dead eyes.”
The name attached to my comment is my real name. Yes, I was street sex worker. Yes, I have done sex work for drugs. Yes, I have been homeless. And Yes I did this all before I was 18. But the last thing I needed at the time was pity. I may have made choices that aren’t considered ideal but I did the best I could with what I had at the time. I am a proud sex worker and I am proud of the history that has made me the stronger person I am today. And I, like the majority of people who have done street sex work, have also made choices that reduced my then vulnerability, helped develop a sense of strength and self-determination and eventually leave the street when I was ready to.
This article doesn’t help anyone. This article just perpetuates a stereotype of us- one that is neither respectful of helpful. If you want to help sex workers, don’t pity them, don’t make their work/lives harder, listen to them. Unlike other states in Australia, Victoria doesn’t have a funded organisation that is made up of sex workers, providing a voice for sex workers and much needed internal community support. Instead we have a a bunch of services/charities who profit from maintaining the perception that we are powerless and pathetic victims.
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You have absolutely nailed it Christian.
Here we have Gemma-Rose Turnbull padding her pockets & ripening her career/’credibility’ as a photographer & a writer while she exploits young & vulnerable street workers to do it & she has the audacity to DISS it while she’s doin it???
There’s not one new idea in this article, I’ve read it all before.
When will self-righteous, middle class white people stop assuming that they know it all & learn to respect those who are marginalised by LISTENING to them?
Thank you for your strength & solidarity Christian, as a fellow worker I welcome it! And thanks to the other workers & supporters who have posted here to put Gemma-Rose Turnbull to shame for the self-serving harm she has wreaked with this rubbish.
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Doing a background check I don’t see that Gemma has made a cent from the work she does for non profits. Instead it seems she has directed attention to where it’s needed.
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Correct simon, but you didn’t reasearch hard enough. My own background check revealled that her motivation was about ideological brainwashing, not financial gain.
Classic missionary ploy – recruit the vulnerable as foot soldiers to the glorious Cause.
It’s actually worse.
http://www.stkildagatehouse.org.au/faq.html
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Wow so many judgmental ppl on here with discriminative comments that really don’t have a fucking clue at all. Sure some WL have had a harsh past and and that’s not cool in today’s society but some are strong intelligent n well educated women who choose to do sex work. I think a lot of ppl who have commented on here need to take a good look in the mirror and the may see how ugly they are inside themselves. Prostitution is one of the oldest professions in history and almost everyone would have an ancestor that would have engaged it at some stage.
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I felt uncomfortable about this article, too – the focus is on “street prostitution” – which conveniently avoids all of the other variations of sex work.
And also conveniently avoids all of the unpleasant elements of any other business…..such as the fashion industry…
AND: I would have thought that “Ice” would be the drug of choice these days, instead of heroin….there’s another thing I’m uncomfortable about re this article…
This article doesn’t quite ring true, does it?
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You should read the book. It is riveting http://redlightdarkroom.com/
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Actually, no. Heroin is cheaper and more addictive and can more easily be “cut” with cheaper materials…ie: brick dust. Scary but true.
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i dont know why people keep claiming ‘prostitution is one of the worlds oldest profession’ as if this proves how well it can work.
murder has also existed for just as long.
so has rape.
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So what does that mean? That hit men have been around forever too? As in paid for a service.
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People who want to look at sex work objectively may do well from checking out the Scarlet Alliance. These guys do amazing work for the sex work community, and encourage the support of the wider community who advocate for safer spaces for both male and female sex workers.
http://www.scarletalliance.org.au
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“The onus is almost always on sex workers to stop their ‘socially destructive behaviour’. Very few countries target the men who solicit them instead.”
Perhaps you could amend/add in that this has changed in St Kilda, Victoria? From what I roughly recall in St Kilda there is a new 2 year Police operation targeting the men, not the women. They have accepted the women will ignore the fines, or can’t pay them, or likely will go back to work to pay the fine.
Policewomen are posing as workers and they have nabbed a large number of men who are summoned to court.
I study Criminology and this is one area of interest. A lot of cities are moving on from fine the worker model.
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What you are advocating is called the Swedish model. I suggest you think it through and read the available criticism before supporting it. This one by the body that controls sex work in QLD is a good starting point http://www.pla.qld.gov.au/Resources/PLA/reportsPublications/documents/THE%20BAN%20ON%20PURCHASING%20SEX%20IN%20SWEDEN%20-%20THE%20SWEDISH%20MODEL.pdf
In practise it forces sex workers to work in dangerous situations whilst cutting off their income. It is unashamedly abolitionist with a lot of fluffy feel good propaganda masquerading as feminist rights. And contrary to what the Swedish government would have you believe it doesn’t work.
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I wasn’t advocating anything, I was stating a fact – policy has changed, whereas in the article the comment is made the men get away with it, not so, and hasn’t been for some time. My thoughts weren’t mentioned.
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What evidence do you have it doesn’t work? The rates of trafficking and entry into sex work have been lowered in all the countries that employ it. Plus, the Swedish model endorses bringing the legislation (targeting the Johns rather than the sex workers) in conjunction with educational, health and child care services for women in sex work.
At the moment in Vic it’s illegal to pick up a street worker anyway, it’s just also illegal to be the sex worker – so your argument that the women’s income is cut off by making it illegal to purchase sex is completely flawed.
The Swedish model means that women choosing sex work don’t get ‘punished’ (by stigma or arrest), but they have increased support if they want to leave it. That sounds like a great model to me.
If you have any evidence that it increases the occurance of illegal trafficking, assaults, sexual assaults, lowers the age of entry into sex work, or anything else that demonstrates it’s not a great model then I’m genuinely interested to hear it.
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Start with the link in my comment; as well as giving a pretty unbiased view it has many footnotes both pro and con on the model. Then try the links at http://www.scarletalliance.org.au/issues/swedish_model/ and then google Pye Jacbsson; they are on the Scarlet site also. If you want more stuff after that get back to me but only after you have listened to Pye. This should also answer your comment about the cutting off of income but if it doesnt in the Victorian situation the key is enforcement levels rather than the actual legislation. If you dont enforce it or only partially enforce it there is no effect or only a partial effect. Strict enforcement, much greater impact on workers. Thanks for responding.
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and just for a bit of light relief as one Swedish government official caught running a brothel doesnt actually prove anything http://feministire.wordpress.com/2012/01/11/swedish-government-official-sacked-for-running-brothels/
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You are quite right. I worked undercover as a prostitute on and off over a number of years targeting the men (who were committing violent acts upon street sex workers). We took many men to court. These operations have been going on for decades.
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Here is a link to a video about sex work and the laws in South Australia, including an interview with a street based sex worker. Please watch! And Support Decriminalisation!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdxSfVRN-6k
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I was all right till I got to the bit where she was raped. Then I cried. But what can we do apart from try and empower our children, male and female, so they don’t go down this path?
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I just feel like this is an unfair and sensationalist portrayal of us as people. I have done street based sex work, and its the fetishisation of our work by photographers like Gemma_Rose who make me very angry about the world.
And specifically: a rapist is not a client. its not an occupational hazard. Rape is rape. So please don’t say that this person who raped is a client. Thats just not true. Clients are people who treat you like a worker. Rape is not part of our job.
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The rapist would’ve started off as a client and then exploited the prostitute’s vulnerability to end up raping her. There are a small number of clients that do that sort of thing.
I drove a friend of mine around who was an escort, for a while and more than once had to knock on a client’s door to get her out of there. The worst incident was when a naked client answered the door with a shotgun and tried to deny she was there until she ran past him half dressed, clutching her money (that he’d taken back off her after sex). She was vulnerable because the agency she worked for failed to ring to check her after the appt. Street sex workers are also vulnerable, even when 2 people work together.
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The image of the woman with the cut arms will stay with me forever. Her eyes are dead eyes. Dead, black soul less eyes.
I’ve lost two friends to drugs and prostitution. Both died of heroin overdoses. Who would never look at me and think one of my beat friends was a longterm junkie and prostitute.
How does it happen? In every situation something had happened to these women when they were little. A friend of mine is a case worker and every single time, there was an incident from childhood.
Men pay for sex because it will always be around. Every single time a prostitute is paid for sex it is degrading. It’s not glamorous.
Brothel owners, pimps and junkie boyfriends all benefit. These are mothers, sisters, daughters, girlfriends and wives desperate for money and forced into it one way or another.
Prostitutes all have the same dead eyes.
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I am not a sex worker but I have to say that is an extremely cruel, unfair and judgmental comment to make (“all prostitutes have the same dead eyes”). Also, unhelpful. Just don’t.
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I know the woman in the photograph. This is my experience of meeting prostitutes. You have your experiences and I have mine.
Her eyes are beautiful to me.
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“…Prostitutes all have the same dead eyes…”
what a load of crap. how many “prostitutes” have you met exactly? I have met & worked with thousands over the years – most of them keep it so secret even their own partners don’t know. You would never guess what they do.
Their secrecy is a self defence mechanism against stupidity & ignorance.
And for the record sex workers have all kinds of eyes, but mostly lively & full of mirth.
People who spend their nights watching television have dead eyes. It’s a lack of passion for life that makes your eyes die, not sex work.
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Er, are you the same La Bella Figura? If you are, please re-read your original post!
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The woman photographed is not “soul-less” as you have described. What a horrific, horrible, degrading thing to say. There is no such thing as a person with dead eyes except a dead person. I think her eyes are beautiful. I think you should amend or retract this statement.
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By saying soul less it means she has seen a lot in her life. I stand by my comment.
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How does soulless mean “seen a lot in her life”? Soulless means no soul.
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Ah, no, by calling someone soulless you dehumanise and demonise them further.
http://www.dictionary.com
soulless (ˈsəʊllɪs)
adj
1. lacking any humanizing qualities or influences; dead; mechanical:
2. (of a person) lacking in sensitivity or nobility
3 heartless; cruel
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iv’e actually had a couple of prostitue friends and none of them had “dead souless eye’s” also they didn’t have any “incidents in childhood”. you are clearly stating opinion as fact and encouraging the stereotype. lets keep fact as fact and opinions as opinions. and honestly i think the women in the photo has lovely eye’s and i wish i had some of her strength.
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Of course it’s my opinion! I never said it was a fact. I didn’t spew hyperbole from some university educated tool on a couch. These are my experiences and my opinions and I have every right to make a comment about my friends and their experiences.
Why would anyone become a prostitute if they didn’t need to do it?
I stand by every comment I make on MM.
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Not ALL prostitutes need to do it, some women just REALLY enjoy sex & why shouldn’t they do it for work? If they enjoy it that much & are so good at it that it can become a business oportuntity why not make a career of it?
I have nothing but respect for a lot of the women out there working in the sex industry. It’s a tough job, but if you love it do it. It’s their life, who are we to sit behind our screens & judge these women on their choice of work.
It breaks my heart to think that there are women (AND MEN) working the streets as they see no other option & it breaks my heart even more to know that some of these people are raped. The person above who said a rapist is not a client I agree whole heartedly. I’ve never been a sex worker or a pornstar or anything in that industry, but what they do takes 1 of 2 things; love or guts! I find it disgusting that society has such a negative view of sex workers. You’d think in this day & age we would’ve evolved & grown up just a little.
I hope that nothing I’ve said has upset anyone in the sex industry, I have nothing but the greatest respect for many of you who do what you love. For the one’s who feel there’s no other option, there is but if you’re in it for the money not much pays that well without spending years slaving away. For those of you who do it for the thrill & the love of it GO YOU GOOD THING!!! Everyone just PLEASE stay safe!
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I respectfully disagree that it takes either love or guts. I imagine that sometimes it’s desparation or lack of options or being part of a sub culture which see street work as a good way to make money.
I also think it’s a different story for adult women than for teens like the ones mentioned in this story. Surely you’re not saying “go you good thing” to a teenaged single mother who’s life is at risk when she goes off in car with a potentially dangerous stranger.
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Hey guess what…..I hate my non-sex-worker-job. But I do it because I need to survive.
Judge me, bitches….
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Look, La Bella, in fairness, I think you have expressed yourself poorly rather than tried to cause offense. I think you are alluding to that sadness and pain that the women you know have carried with them. And i think your point about degredation is spot on. But the way you have expressed yourself is offensive- “dead, black soulless eyes” does not equate to “seen a lot in her life”.
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You know what?
I had a shiity childhood. I was a victim of incest. I was sexually abused and I CHOSE not to take drugs and get into prostitution.
once you put that needle into your vein you have no one to blame but yourself.
Obviously the girls who are victims of child trafficking are a different situation.
But girls in Australia have no excuse,. perhaps if they didn’t look for a job that paid the maximum amount of money in the shortest time frame, they might actually be productive members of society.
simple, don’t do drugs, take responsibility for your actions, get over your shitty childhood and work hard like the rest of us.
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That’s great that YOU were able to make that choice. But do you know the individual circumstances of each of these women?
This is not a competition to see who had the shittiest childhood or who is the better person because they were LUCKY enough to escape the trap these women fell into.
Have some compassion – you didnt end up like them. Does not mean they all CHOSE to end up like they did.
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I agree with San for the most part. Chrissy genuinely curious but if these girls decided to take drugs which then leds them into prostitution, who fault is it if not theirs?
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Ok. Whilst I completely and utterly understand that you believe some people are more lucky and strong, the ONLY way you will overcome any challenge is to tale complete and utter self responsibility.
I grant that we do the best we can with the information we have. But I bet ya one thing- I bet ya that we provide whole bunch of these woman a massive amount of education and support, and guess what?- Some will embrace it. Others will not.
Your attitude only perpetuates a cycle that be overcome.
We can’t help whats happened and how we turned out. But we can do something about it.
So, no I do not judge these woman. But, I believe in every fibre of my being that if they really wanted out, they would get out.
And yes. It is life experience that teaches me this. Now of course it is much more complicated than simply “choosing” to get well. However, it is not about strength, or luck. It is about a willingness to do whatever it takes to get the help we need.
Lets go to Syria, were people are getting murdered by the millions. Wake up people of Australia and know how lucky we are.
Yes, I was severely abused as a child and became addicted to drugs. And yes its been over 10 years since my self destructive patterning overshadowed my very existence. But hey, slowly but surely, I got my degree, bought my own house and now raising a gorgeous little boy.
Its possible if your willing. No if’s or Butts.
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Sam, I dont want to belittle your childhood experiences. They sound horrific. And all credit to you for having such amazing strength to be able to recognise the dangers, resist them and overcome such appalling circumstances.
But you know what? Not everyone has that same strength. In the same way that some people are born with strong muscles and others are born with not so strong muscles, some people are born with strong personalities and others are born with not so strong personalities. In the same way that researchers now think there is a genetic predisposition for PTSD (you will either be susceptible, or you wont), some people are genetically programmed to be susceptible to the shit that life throws at them.
It doesnt make them lazy. It doesnt make them less of a person.
It just makes them vulnerable.
And if they had experienced a different life in the past, they may well have a different life now.
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Spot on and beautifully explained.
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When I was in rehab blaming all my abuse for my addiction, here is what they told me.
If I keep blaming my childhood, I will never get well.
It took such a long time for me to understand, as of course my emotional pain is what led me to it. BUT, the issue is that there are countless woman who have been abused and did not go down the path I did. More importantly there were people who have never experienced the extreme stuff I did either in Rehab.
So, we cant blame someones child hoods. We only help them fester and a cycle of dis-empowerment and self pity.
I agree that people make choices out of desperation. I understand that I made some terrible choices. But the ONLY way I was finally able to get my shit together is by acknowledging that I was making the choice and that I do have other options.
In the end, once I realised I had a choice, that is when I got well. So, instead of pitying these woman, let them know how amazing and powerful they can be.
It amazes me that these woman are getting so much pity, but the young teenage girl who slept with footballers etc, got a massive whipping….
And no I am not suggesting we whip these woman. I am suggesting you stop excusing their self destructive patterning.
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The average age of entry into prostitution in Australia is 14, and 90% of prositutes are working for a third party (such as a pimp or madam). Have a look at the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women (Australia) website if you want more info.
What I’m getting at is that while I hear what you’re saying, but the issue is that a lot of girls “choice” to go into prostitution isn’t exactly a free one. When they turn 18, they’ve have been prostituting for years (and, statistically speaking) are addicted to drugs, victims of repeated abuse, and have no recorded work history – and yet they are suddenly viewed as making an informed and free decision to prostitute happily. This just isn’t the case*.
Prostitutes shouldn’t be the target of legislation – the people who exploit them through pimping or purchase should be.
* of course there are exceptions to this rule. I’m just going off statistic which show that this is by far the most frequent type of scenario.
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Would you mind providing some research and facts to back up your assertions that “The average age of entry into prostitution in Australia is 14, and 90% of prostitutes are working for a third party (such as a pimp or madam)”?
The website you provided is big on sweeping statements but light on credible research unless you count the much criticised work of people like Sheila Jeffreys. It would be appreciated if the studies you provide could have good methodology, excellent sample size, no inbuilt biases and study all workers in all the diverse parts of the sex industry; brothel workers, private workers, out call workers and international workers, male, female, and trans. All too often people study a very small part of our large and diverse industry and extrapolate those results to the whole industry.
Also with reference to “90% of prostitutes are working for a third party (such as a pimp or madam)”
I assume that you think that this is a bad thing and whilst I would question your figures, especially that anyone at all in Australia works for a pimp can I point out that employer-employee relationships, contract work relationships and agency relationships are the norm in non-commercial sex workplaces and no one presents that as a shock statistic eg 98% of actors have agents who take a cut of their income, how shocking.
Lastly it would also be appreciated if you would refer to us as sex workers and not by the derogatory term prostitutes.
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“Would you mind providing some research and facts to back up your assertions”
The website she (he?) sited has a huge number of articles and studies posted on it, all by independant and unrelated organisations, and all giving evidence supporting what he/she is arguing. Just because you don’t agree with them doesn’t diminish their value or credibility!
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Haha I was just thinking that! I think she means “would you mind providing some research and facts that support my opinion, not yours”.
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No I meant go read the small print of the studies and make sure to start with they studied the whole industry and not just a small portion of it and that they had reasonable sample sizes just as a starting point. If they didnt (and I bet you 98% of them dont) then that diminishes their value and credibility considerably.
And maybe it would also help to listen to the people who actually work as sex workers who are posting here telling you what it is actually like.
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I’m very sorry to hear about what you went through. Not everyone has the same strength or support.
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Hey Sam,
You know what?
I had a shitty childhood too. I had a parent die, and I was a victim of incest, too. But I also understand that even though my childhood was shitty, it doesn’t give me the right to judge other people…..because I’ve only experienced my own life and my own abuser. I have no right to judge another abused person when I haven’t experienced life with their abuser(s),
And nor do you.
Oh, and did you hear about the man who was arrested in NT today for trying to get a 6 year old to sniff petrol?
Was that your experience? It wasn’t mine. So please don’t say “there’s no excuse” for “girls” (or boys) in Australia. OK?
PS I believe there’s a suppression on this case – I’ve tried to find a link…..
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There is NO excuse guys. There are reasons.
i love what you wrote because it is true. My time with my pertrators was different to yours etc.
However, lets not get confused with understanding how things can happen and excusing them.
Sorry. There is no excuse. There are reasons and those reasons can always be turned around with the right education and support. In a country like Australia, we have everything we need to flourish.
I came from poverty, abuse and violence. I resorted to drugs to cope. But, not once I accepted that all this shit was going to be my life forever. I also fought to somehow get better.
The reality is to stop accepting shit from ourselves. You can stop self destruction. Stop pitying these woman. STOP it. Your simply perpetuating the cycle.
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this is a brilliant article.
its true that so much of our modern media has romantisized and galmourized prostitution. we read articles from the few women who claim it is ‘empowering’ and watch shows like Secret Diary of a Call Girl, i find it disgusting.
Because this isnt just a matter of physcial safety and health. Prositution robs a woman of her soul, of her sense of self worth and meaning. Whilst some woman may claim they are ‘empowered’ i believe there is far more internal damage taking place then they care to acknowledge.
i dont believe in regulating prostitution, i believe in banning it altogether. whether it is a 5 year old Thai girl locked up in a warehouse in bangkok or a 45 year old woman in Kings Cross, ‘empowering’ herself, all prositiues are slaves in some respect, and it is a heartbreaking tragedy.
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Yep, because banning something always has such great consequences (see; abortion, drugs).
People are going to do it no matter what, so why argue against safeguards that regulation can offer. Illegal prostitution will inevitably lead to trafficking (which we’re already struggling to deal with); illegal abortions lead to backyard abortions which leads to death (already a major problem in parts of the world where it is prohibited); illicit drugs leads to an unnecessary amount of incarcerations, death and wasted money (see; the ‘War on Drugs).
These things may not appeal to everyone, and certainly argues a case against immorality. That said, these things would greatly benefit regulation – ensuring safety for all involved. Prostitution is not always a result of sexual abuse, nor is it always damaging. I know a small number of sex workers who offer their service within the bounds of the law, and to them it really is just another job. Prostitution is the worlds oldest profession, and no amount of ‘thinking of the CHILDREN!’ is going to make it go away.
Disclaimer: In the case of most drugs, apart from marijuana, I’m not talking legalisation; rather, decriminalisation.
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Actually, the number of brothels quadrupled in number when Victoria part-legalised prositution (eg brothels) – trafficking grew exponentially as well, and Victoria is now a trafficking destination.
Legalising prostitution doesn’t make it safer – it just means it enters an open competitive market, where people have to compete with prices and services, and the number of women entering the system goes up, as do the number of men using the system.
That doesn’t sound good to me.
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what a great article.
i don’t personally believe prostitution needs to be completely wiped out but more needs to be done for girls who don’t have a choice in getting into it. I know girls who are prostitutes for quite high end escort services and they don’t need help but ones who are young and/or drug affected need protection. That’s all i really care about.
Guys who do that sort of sh*t to prostitutes need to be shot.
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“The message is that men are allowed to need sex and women are vessels for that need.”
I’d add that women are looked down on for having the same need and being active in their pursuit of sex. By men and other women.
The attitude in the original sentence is part of a point I made on the abortion thread – there is no way men would overjustify an accident, but women feel compelled to. Same as you say it’s the sex workers who are deemed in the wrong rather than the tiny minority of slimebags who use them badly.
What was the young Mum doing with her baby while she was working?
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“women are looked down on for having the same need and being active in their pursuit of sex. By men and other women”
a thousand times YES!! And it’s fucking ridiculous!!
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“Society’s steady diet of porn, advertising, movies and music videos stream an insidious message into our consciousness. The message is that men are allowed to need sex and women are vessels for that need. The effect of that message is the dangerous and degrading sex act enacted on a teenager in a St Kilda hotel room at lunch time. And all the while we walk obliviously by.”
Can we shout this from the rooftops please!!!
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so this scum would not seek his peversion in that hotel were it not for Lady Gaga videos and porn. Come off it. Me thinks you over simplify life.
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Maybe he would and maybe he wouldn’t, but the mainstreaming of porn isn’t exactly discouraging this kind of treatment of women/sexual partners. Or our ability as a society to notice it as perversion, let alone care, as per the author’s original point.
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While I don’t think Lady Gaga is personally responsible, I do wonder if the nature of soft porn music videos, and rap lyrics, where women are simply just presented as “tits and arse”, reinforces the attitudes of individuals who are more predatory by nature anyway.
I’m uneasy at the suggestion all men are affected or to blame though.
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What about women who consume porn? Don’t we get a voice – a means to be our own sexual being? A large number of sex workers enjoy their work, and an even larger number enjoy getting off. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.
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I never said that women don’t consume porn or enjoy their jobs as sex workers. However, that some people have a positive experience with these doesn’t negate the fact that the sex industry makes the majority of its profit from exploiting both workers and consumers. Every dollar spent purchasing sex or porn helps to feed an industry that thrives on the suffering of others. And it’s an industry that has worked very hard to perpetuate the messages that Gemma-Rose talks about above.
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Where can I buy this book? This is compelling.
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http://redlightdarkroom.com/buy-the-book
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In My Skin by Kate Holden is a personal account of being a street sex worker. and a really eye-opening read.
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Lola, I can’t agree with you enough – I was lucky enough to meet Kate and personally tell her how much her book touched me. Her story was just remarkable and really opened up my eyes of what the sex industry is like.
I don’t like the message that “it’s almost always vulnerable women who ultimately pay for the most insidious of men’s fantasies” – some women do choose to be part of the sex industry, with or without a drug habit. I have personally used prostitutes (male and female) which I’m sure is not the norm for most women but that’s me. And most importantly I respect them. They are doing their job.
I guess the message is that street sex workers will always exist – it is the oldest profession in the world, but I think they deserve more respect – from both men and women.
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You’re not alone roserusso.
I have also paid women for sexual services, more than once. None of them fit the “victim” model.
I’ve also had a male prostitute offer his services to me, too (he even gave me his business card) – but I didn’t go there, mostly because he looked too young! He might not have been under age, but, nooooo!
And secondly, I was in a bad place emotionally, and having him approach me, made me feel like my emotional desperation was there for the world to see….i.e. if he could see it, then so could everyone else….
So, I guess my experiences with sex workers is just as biased as many other peoples, but for different reasons, perhaps…
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thank you for sharing your experience with me Nicki x
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Lola, I literally just finished her book this week. Such an incredible insight into addiction and the life of a prostitute. Although extremely heavy reading material, I can say that I really did enjoy it and found that whole life fascinating and disturbing both in equal measures.
I have respect for Kate being able to finally break free of the drug dependancy cycle.
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Yes I just finished this book this week too! Remarkable story and a real eye opener
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A terrible story that uses shocking and thankfully rare examples to suggest that men are yet again the problem.
Ah, no, the 0.0005 % of scum that firstly seek out street prostitutes and secondly beat or rape them, are the problem. I dont like the obvious gender subtext here. It is the easiest thing in the world to site very rare and shocking events and somehow make a broader gender statement out of it. It would be like me doing an article on infantacide, suggesting that women therefore are all capable of the same thing and society is forgiving of it.
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Huh!!! I think you will find the statistic is much higher than 0.0005%. No one is having a go at you or the majority of men but highlighting some mens disgusting behaviour and abuse of these women. Just for some stats 1 in 8 women are abused by men and 1 in 3 have experienced domestic violence at the hands of men…
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Ah, you have been to the Kate Ellis school of quoting dodgy misleading stats that overstate the victim status of the sisterhood. Great.
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With respect, those studies that kate ellis quotes every second day are a joke. Ask a bloke if he has ever been slapped, had something thrown across the room etc by a female and you get similar sensationalist numbers. Yet they are quoted time and time again, as if to imply 1/3 of men beat their wives. Bullshit.
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Yes, a friend who worked at DOCS explained this to me when I once said “You know, in my experience, I don’t agree with those stats that say 1 in 3 women have experienced sexual assault (or whatever the stats they say are)”. She said that I was quite right not to because they ask things like “Have you ever had sex when you didn’t want to” and it doesn’t differentiate between rape and just getting it over and done with with your otherwise completely normal and respectful partner. I don’t think there are many women who HAVEN’T had sex just to keep their partner happy. Grain of salt with all of them.
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It’s not just about domestic violence though. I have experienced violence from outside my relationship before. And I would think that other women may have as well. But it’s less common to hear of a woman being violent to someone that is not her partner. I think that we have to recognise that women ARE easier targets for violence rather than just banging on about how “the sisterhood” is out on their feminist warpath, and watch out if you’re a man.
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I didnt mean to derail this topic, it gets back to the fact that, yet again, a very rare criminal event is tied in to a broader cultural issue with men. In doing so, many subtle implications are made.
The grotty underbelly spoken of has no part in almost every mans life.
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That’s true, in terms of this article, but I do think in my generation (Y) there is a cultural issue with young men. I by no means have any dealings with grotty underbellys and have seen and had experience with violence from guys towards girls. Yes, the majority of men are not violent but in terms of young guys there are more who are and that worries me. I know I have kind of gone sideways with this line of commenting, sorry!
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WB, of course there is a gender subtext here – and there should be, as it’s a gender-based problem.
Men perpetrate nearly all sexual assaults in Australia (it’s something like 98 or 99%), and users of prostitutes are almost exclusively men. In contrast, the victims of the sexual assaults are almost exclusively women.
If men and women were the perpetrators of sexual violence to an equal extent, and were victims to an equal extent, then it wouldn’t be a gender issue. But statistics show that clearly there is a problem with society and the kind of male/female dynamic it is creating.
No one is saying all men are bad. I know for one that I adore my father, brother and husband – and they would do anything to protect a woman from harm.
But I’m sure they’ve done seemingly normal, “harmless” things like watching porn, or whisting at a woman from a car at some point. Those things contribute to the seedy sexist undertone in society which degrades and sexualises women, and which – at it’s very extreme – leads to sexual assault.
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Thanks sarah, I take your point.
It just seems like these type of articles imply a gender wide issue for crimes that are quite statistically rare.
As a woman, if you read an article on infantacide, or the false reporting of sexual sssilt, and the author implied some universal problem with your gender that was underpinning these crimes, you might feel uncomfortable reading it too.
Thanks for engaging me in a polite way too.
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Well said, Sarah!
Wounded Bull, I think most of us understand, when talking about gender based violence and sexual assault, we *are* talking about a handful of creeps – not all men in general. One “man” can damage many women, after all. So the 1 in 3 to 1 in 5 women stat may well be true, yet that doesn’t mean the same proportion of men are the perpetrators.
I disagree with your statistic regarding men who use the services of sex workers, though, I think men probably wouldn’t own up to it, due to the stigma attached.
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Nicki, if you re read what I wrote, I was estimating the percentage of men who use street prostitutes that the go on to rapre them. Not the percentage of men that have ever seen a sex worker.
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With respect I don’t know the Kate Ellis reference but just giving my opinion having worked with women for the last 20 years counselling in the area of sexual assault and domestic violence.
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100% agreed. While I know that these terrible things happen at the hands of men, it’s very much the minority of men that do it. But regardless, more does need to be done to protect sex workers so I am glad that this article has been published and is somewhat advocating that.
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Agreed, substance abuse, that leads to both women and men resorting to such a living is the issue. And lock up and throw key away on the small proportion of violent and sexual abusers in our community. Besides this, most men are wonderful people, as are most women. Sick of rare cases being used to generalise about men.
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Have a teaspoon of concrete, wounded bull. Drawing attention to violence against women is not some kind of misandrist conspiracy and nobody’s out to paint men as the bad guys. In fact it’s not really about men at all but protecting and restoring dignity to the women who are victims of violence, can we get back to them now please?
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Re read the article, it clearly links the story told to a broad gender issue with men. This article could have still drawn attention to the issue without doing that.
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I’m sorry, should we be pretending that the women in this story didn’t suffer rape and abuse at the hands of men, in case we hurt men’s feelings? Or be excusing a culture which both creates this problem and turns a blind eye to it in case we offend men? Of course gender is relevant, just not in the peurile ways you’re trying to twist it.
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Jamie, WB is saying that it should say that the males who rape, bash and otherwise exploit these girls in stomach churning ways should have more description than “men” because it’s not an accurate description of “men” and I agree with him. Slimebag arsehole deadshits, I can totally get on board with. But not lumping ALL men together when it’s a tiny minority who do this kind of stuff. It’s not trying to not offend Men, it’s apportioning blame as appropriate, and it isn’t appropriate to just say “Men” if it implies all men are capable of this stuff when most men would be just as reviled as any woman when learning about what happens on streets, in hotel rooms and in brothels.
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Kris, thank you for saying it better than I.
Now we can get back to discussing support for these victims of drug abuse and how to get these violent dickhead blokes off the beat.
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I disagree, Kris. One of the quickest way to rob the message about violence against women of its power is to start pretending that it’s only about some people. I’m not a ‘deadshit scumbag’ so it’s nothing to do with me. Or to turn it into gender wars like Wounded Bull is attempting to do here. We all know the author of this piece is not saying any of the things that WB is jumping up and down about. At best it’s disrespectful to the women whose stories are featured and at worst it’s rape apologism, and quite frankly I find it pathetic.
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‘Rape Apologism’, oh FFS, you are exactly the problem with hardline feminism, and exactly why I provide commentary in here, for some logic and balance to this type of nonsense.
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Rape apologism? Huh?
I think you do worse by alienating the VAST majority of men by not focussing on the deadshit arseholes who do these awful things by implying that it’s a male thing. I wouldn’t call anyone who does anything like that a Man. A Man doesn’t need to do that kind of thing, and if most Men that I’ve met through my time found out a male had done something like that, they’d let them know their disapproval in no uncertain terms.
Do you have a brother or father or grandfather or cousin or son? How do you like them being lumped in with these slimebags? I do, and I don’t like it one bit and while I don’t agree that Men are being silenced in general I do think that it is incredibly unhelpful to just say “men” and leave it at that, when it most certainly isn’t the case at all.
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I was going to avoid this topic, but a certain poster is really getting my goat. Yes there are men who do nasty things, there are also women who do (but it gets left unreported because nobody believes a man can be abused…been there done that and was literally laughed at). I walk down the street with my niece, holding her hand, and you wouldn’t believe the filthy looks I get from women. It makes me feel guilty holding the hand of my little niece. To me any man that abuses a woman in any shape or form should have his balls cut off, painfully. However I feel that at many times the media, and many women, paint us with the same brush. This is one reason why there are not many men in caring industries, it’s just too dangerous especially with the risk of false allegations that can ruin a bloke even when he is proven innocent.
In the case of the story, even though some men are to blame, the real fault lies with society itself that let’s these girls end up this way. Not one particular gender, but EVERYONE is to blame.
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Great article. I had no idea there were still so many street workers around. I have never seen any where I live in QLD and I just assumed they were all confined to brothels. I thought that was the idea of legalising them??? Where are the police if this is happening all the time in certain areas. I would be calling them if I witnessed any of these events near me. They should be pulling these men up for taking advantage and participating in illegal behaviours.
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I often see them at certain places along the Gold Coast Highway…
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It’s not decriminalised/regulated everywhere, sadly. It’s a good thing that the majority of sex workers in QLD operate within licensed brothels, it makes it much safer.
http://www.scarletalliance.org.au/laws/
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urgh. I’m only 23 and reading this already makes me worry about having a girl who could fall down this path or a son who might one day become one of those men.
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Statistically you need to be more worried about your son also having substance issues and resorting to crime including prostitution. Despite the way the world is presented on this site, it is not always ‘women = victim, men = evil predator’.
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What is the purpose of the photo at the end of the post? The post talks about people perceiving prostitution as being empowering and many people have responded that they have read articles glamourising prostitution, then you have a photo of a woman with long, sexy fishnet stocking clad legs with a good looking, young, toned male Seductively looking up at her. It seems to me to completely contradict the point of the article. Or have I taken that photo the wrong way?
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I don’t have a photo ike that at the end of the article.
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Agreed…It really contradicts the what is a moving well written peice.
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I think the photo you are referring to may just be a random one n rotation, as like sarah said above, I can’t see it either.
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Love the writing, I enjoy reading about peoples real challenges and everyday life that are different to mine with to-the -point language which reflects the topic.
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Heartbreaking.
I’ve taught children who are children of sex workers. The bahviour they act out is frightening and a world away from what they should be exposed to at their age.
Men who pay for sex need to be accountable for their behaviour. Media needs to stop advertising everything using sex and music videos need to stop telling children that it is ok for men to treat a woman like a whore and that girls should dress and act like one because thats what men like.
We as a society need to take a good hard look at ourselves and wake up to the fact we’ve created this hell and now these women are paying for it.
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This is the new benchmark of the standard of writing and content I would love to see more of on this site. I love the fluffy stuff too, don’t get me wrong, but bringing this kind of information to the masses is an excellent editorial move. Excellent, excellent work Gemma and Mamamia.
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Thought provoking piece of writing. Why here needs to be more early intervention strategies targeted towards young adults who are displaying ‘at risk’ symptoms/ signs.
Another issue: the report/ article fails to mention young men street workers who would no doubt experience a similar fate like the young girls mentioned?
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YEs! Young men face the same problems. I used to live with a man (18? 19?) who worked days in a hospital, and nights on the streets of the Cross in Sydney, supporting what I now think was a heroin habit (at the time I naively assumed it was “recreational” drugs only). He had been raped at least twice that I knew of, and was semi-regularly beaten, either by men “booking” him, or his drug dealer when he couldn’t pay in time. The last time I saw him he had just been stabbed and landed on our doorstep bleeding. He wouldn’t let me take him to hospital in case his co-workers saw him and found out what his life was like. The next day he disappeared, taking my and my flatmate’s rent money with him. I didn’t begrudge him, even though in those days that was like my life’s savings. I still wonder what happened to him, and I doubt it was anything good.
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I live in a large apartment building opposite St Kilda Gatehouse. From our balcony we can see all the goings on in the street. I’ve lived here for almost 10 years and seen it all. The younger girls seem to come and go after a few months. Some over the older ladies have been on the street for years. The lady in the photo is one of them.
What is particularly disturbing is when you go come home on a Sunday afternoon after a carefree, pleasant day out and see the girls starting work. By the time you leave to go to work the next morning, the girls are still there… in body only. It breaks my heart to see them staggering in the street, barely able to stand up. Whilst we sleep peacefully in our luxury apartment there is this whole other world going on below us. Most of the girls will give you a wave and a smile when you go by. What is unsettling are the “spotters”. The dodgy guys hanging around our carpark entrance or sitting on the seats in the grounds of our buildings, usually in pairs. I’ve seen people shooting up, smoking bongs and huffing aerosols. There is a strong police presence in our street which is reassuring.
The girls, I just want to give a cup of tea and a hot shower. The men …. disgust me. There’s the tradies with their business name and number on the side of their utes… the family men with baby seats in the back of the station wagon, rarely a luxury car will come down the street prowling and then there are the homeless men.
The most disturbing thing I have witnessed was an old dirty smelly homeless man (yes, I’m being judgemental!) walking out of our underground visitors car park zipping up his fly, whilst a young girl (like 15 y.o) who could barely stand up she was so out of it, staggered behind him. It was about 11 am on a Saturday morning!
St Kilda Gatehouse do AMAZING work! I shudder to think what our street would be like without them!
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I don’t think it’s fair to judge all the men though. You don’t know the reasons for them going to see street girls. Just because they see street girls doesn’t mean they’re beating them or raping them.
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We don’t need to judge guys for paying for sex, we need to judge the ones who are paying these girls for sex which is a self perpetuating downward spiral of despair. By all means go and pay for it if you want or have to, but use a legalised brothel.
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But we don’t know their reasons for not going to a brothel. They could be innocent. I don’t know that in most people’s heads there is a great difference between street workers and those in a brothel, except brothels may seem “classier”.
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There is a huge difference. Girls are relatively safe in a brothel – if something is happening against their will they have co-workers present ready to assist.
On the street they are unprotected, they are getting into strangers cars, ANYTHING could happen to them.
I think there is a massive difference between using a staggering girl on the street and going to a brothel.
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Reread my comment – I didn’t say there was no difference, I said in most people’s heads – as in “a hooker’s a hooker, it’s just the address changing.”
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Kris – I think you’re giving people too much credit there.
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Possibly, but I’d rather do that than write everyone off as an evil scumbag.
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I think there is a middle ground. If someone can’t see the difference between a brothel and a drugged out underage girl on the street then they’re not strictly a good person in my opinion.
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I don’t care what a man’s reasons for using a prostitute (on the street or in a brothel) are. They are paying to dehumanise and degrade another human for their entertainment and enjoyment. I think that makes them disgusting.
Specifically – streetworkers are streetworkers because they are economically vulnerable. Statistically, most have been sexually abused (and are therefore emotionally vulnerable) and drug addicted. If a man (or a woman) is going to exploit that vulnerability by paying a streetworker to submit to any sex act he wants to inflict on her (knowing/not caring that she might not otherwise want to) then hell yes I’ll judge him. What a disgusting human that person must be.
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How is someone paying you for sex dehumanising or degrading?
I think you have a bit of a romantic view about what sex is. That’s great if that works for you in your belief system, but not everyone does.
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Did you know that some people with disabilities see prostitutes, regularly? These are often people who don’t have relationships long term due to the nature of their condition, but still have the biological drive for sex. Who are you to judge these people? What about those that are simply lonely?
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Exactly the people I was thinking of, when I commented, Faybian.
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We are on the same page with this one…
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Yes but from my knowledge these clients use escorts who visit them in their own homes, not underage street workers who are clearly under the influence. Big difference in my eyes!
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Kris, I understand completely what you are saying, and if had not had this in my face every day for 10 years, I would probably feel the same as you.
I am sure there are some decent blokes out there who do look after the girls and I would dearly love to think this is the norm.
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What a beautiful, telling photo that is…
A friendship of mine ended due to my friend entering the industry.
I know this makes me sound like a judgey biatch, but it only partially had to do with my own values. I was probably most judgemental about her capacity to parent her 7 year old daughter while doing this work…. Kids are very smart from my experience and are little sponges.
My main reason for cutting the ties though was due the fact that I was literally worrying myself sick about her. I’ve done plenty of counselling work with sex workers and but that’s very different. You do everything for them that you can, in the time that you are with them, talk about emotions, effects and choices. But after they’d leave, they weren’t constantly on my mind.
Also, I was getting paid to hear about their experiences but with my friend, I actually really hated when she would tell me about her work. It’s very different watching an episode of “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” to hearing your mate, who you care deeply for, tell you about the darker side of human behaviour.
I still miss her. But mind you, she was in her late 20′s and smart and fairly empowered. My heart really goes out to those who are either young or vulnerable or both.
I wish them all safe travels.
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I hate that show “secret diary of a call girl”. It romanticises and makes a career out of a profession that is usually a fallback position for women who have few choices in life. I’m sure there are some sex workers who are hugely empowered by what they do, earn great money and enjoy their job. But the majority are not in that position, and that show just legitimises the exploitation of women by showing them as willing and even eager participants.
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In the book the writer talks about how she realises she’s in a privileged position as far as sex work goes, but that she wanted to show that side.
The TV show is terrible.
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Hmm. I don’t think you are a true friend. Friends are loyal to each other no matter what.
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Kinda true… but we had only known each other for a few years and it was a pretty casual friendship- drinks on Friday nights , occaisional coffees..
Then when she started in the industry she became a bit dependent on me for support. I have a heavy job and I did have my own stuff going on too.
I started feeling constantly burnt out by her and there was no real return on the support from her. It came down to a choice between my sanity and a new friend. You learn that you have to put your own emotional state first or else you aren’t good to help anyone else…
My best friends I would defend to death though…
But thanks for your assessment of me, anyway!
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Excellent post! I worked as a receptionist in brothels on Melbourne in the late nineties. I recognized a lot in this article, particularly the use of the term “mugs” to describe the men who call themselves “clients”. I agree that the idea that sex work is empowering is tough to accept. Of the hundreds of prostitutes I worked with, I can’t remember one who didn’t express regret at her position.
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Check this below if you want to get an idea from the boys side of the game
http://sammyboyforum.com/showthread.php?s=06219050ccaefb4db41b3107481c298e&t=191627&page=261
http://forums.punterplanet.com/
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This post needs a warning – I thought it was a link to the point of view of a male sex worker, which would have been an interesting side point.
It is, however, a link to a forum for users of prostitutes.
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Thank you so much for this eye opening article Gemma. I knew life was hard for street sex workers, but my attitude was always they are just drug addicts trying to get their next fix and at times I forget they are someones daughter, sister, mother. I’d like to see the men that abuse these girls and ladies prosecuted. There are plenty of other legal means of getting ones “rocks off” even through masturbation, without resorting to having sex with what are essentially school girls (at least in this article).
I’d also like to see why these girls are out there selling their bodies and feeding a habit, in the first place. I believe in many cases it lies in the home life. whatever the cause thoiugh, I’d like to see more done to prevent the girls resorting to prostituion in the first place, another place where society needs to take a good hard look at itself.
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Such a heartbreaking story, my heart aches for these poor young girls who face such awful treatment every day of their lives…
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i am a street based sex worker and I am SICK OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU FEELING SORRY FOR ME. My clients are nicer to me than most of you bleeding heart mob. Find someone else to feel sorry for.
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yes, you are so right. We shouldn’t feel sorry for the 15 year old in this story who was raped. You can’t be serious.
If you love your job then great. Don’t expect the rest of us to be okay about a young girl being raped. Ever.
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Well I do feel sorry for you… that you need to break the law to pay bills. That you are putting yourself at risk every day because you either believe you feel empowered by your choices, or feel you have no other choices.
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But surely you can’t deny that sex work is an industry that a LOT of girls fall into against their will? And that causes them enormous damage?
For every woman like you there are dozens of girls who aren’t as fortunate.
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Yep.
I believe there is NOTHING wrong with sex work.
And as a survivor of sexual assault, I don’t think pity is appropriate. And I don’t think you should feel sorry for me, or that person in the story. Its our lives. Not yours.
Everyone has to do things in life that are difficult. We all have bills to pay. Personally I think sucking an actual cock is better than the esoteric corporate one that I could be facing daily instead.
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I don’t think there is anything wrong with sex work when it is safe, you’re doing it willingly and enjoying it.
I don’t pity you!
But you can’t deny that there are girls doing it who find it degrading and damaging and would never do it if they didn’t have a drug habit or any other choice.
Sex can be an invasive, personal thing and everyone has a different threshold as to what they are comfortable with doing. There is nothing wrong with being at either end of that scale.
You are obviously quite content with your work, which is great. But there are a huge percentage of people in sex work who do not feel the same, that is the point I’m trying to make.
Also I like my job, and I don’t feel like I’m sucking an esoteric corporate cock
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Err, I pity you , selling your soul …
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I feel sorry for sex workers, I feel sorry for them having to sell their soul, I feel sorry for them having some old, revolting man touching them , I feel sorry for them having to say yes to a man who they find repulsive, I feel sorry for them being disrespected by society, I feel sorry for them being slandered, I feel sorry that they would not feel proud… I feel very sorry…
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**warning, graphic content in my post**
A few months ago I watched a doco about street prositutes in New York. It was so bloody heartbreaking I sobbed my heart out. They start off doing oral sex and asking for large somes of money but as time dragged on their drug habits worsened and their esteem lessened they started to doing more degrading sex acts for as little as $10. The worst bit was there is a part of New York for sex workers called ‘the end of the line’. A dodgy, dodgy neighbourhood where the women who no longer care about themselves and their drug habit has dragged them so far down they are willing to do anything for money. This is where the most depraved men do the most inhumane things. Heartbreaking stuff. One woman they interviewed was asked what went wrong in her life that bought her to living like this. She said when she was a young girl her mother brought her to live at her grandfather’s house as they had no money due to her mother’s drug addiction. Her grandfather raped her regularly, once so badly that she had to go to hospital because he had broken her hips. He told the hospital staff she had fallen down the stairs. Her mother had also been raped by the grandfather as a child which upset the daughter as she realised that when her mother took her there to live she knew she would be subjected to the same treatment and obviously didn’t care about her enough to not let that happen.
Heartbreaking stuff.
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This made me cry
I can’t even begin to imagine. Do you remember the name of the documentary?
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So many articles I have read making prostitution sound glamorous . Here is the reality. Used, abused women putting themselves in danger everyday. Dirty men taking advantage of their vulnerability. A good reality check on why NOT to USE DRUGS…
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Agreed!
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My biggest question is how? How? How? How? How do these girls get here? I know drugs is the first response. Poverty cycle perhaps the next. And various other reasons. But seriously….that first time, that first step towards this life….How??
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From my experience, poverty is a factor but less of one than:
*Experiences with trauma (the obvious one is sexual abuse but there are other traumatic things too; physical and mental abuse from someone that you love is so harmful)
*Poor experiences being parented; Lack of bond to a family, particularly in the first few years… Domestic Violence being the biggest factor that disrupts this bond but also parental mental health issues or substance abuse issues… Mind you most drug abuse is self-medicating against something.
*Being in foster care; Foster kids have a tough time well compared to the rest of the population; being moved around/ abuse/
*Lack of social supports. Not having a supportive family. Not being in a supportive network..
But it’s way more complex that this…
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Wow. Brilliant article.
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A good reminder of the reality of prostitution. As an aside, I always thought the most irresponsible articles in Cosmo and its various stablemates were the ones glamourising prostitution. I know one girl who claimed she got into it because the mags made it sound like fun, easy work (she had other issues, like I believe a majority of prostitutes, she was a sexual abuse victim) and wonder how many others fell into the same category.
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You’re so right. I’ve considered it myself, in times where my mental health has been unstable. I’ve read several articles over the years that give the impression that sex work can be a safe and lucrative career path. Even now, when my mental health starts failing, I fall back into thinking I should give it a try. It’s good to get a dose of reality from people other than those in my immediate circle.
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I am a sex worker, and can I say I would fully recommend it to anyone who wants to give it a go.
its a job. different to other jobs (I think better than other jobs).
Its not the tragedy that this photo book depicts. I have been a street based sex worker and my clients were lovely people.
Rape is more likely to happen in the familial home than on the street via sex work.
That should make you all realise how niche and tragedy-porn-esque this photo project is.
There is nothing wrong with sex work. Stigmatising it (like this article has done) is what is wrong. Not the work itself.
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Really, you are proud to sell your soul? Proud to have revolting creatures touch you… I find that truly sad…
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Agree…. And I think “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” is really irresponsible.
Belle is so glamourous and adorable…
Heck, who wouldn’t want to be her?
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Secret Diary of a Call Girl is by a real sex worker. This photo-book is not. This photo-book is by a person who got a short and extremely biased look into sex work and is regurgitating it as photographic tragedy porn.
its still porn!
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I get what you’re saying and appreciate that. It’s a good point and a view that needs to be expressed in this forum as the majority of comments are “those poor girls”…
I’m totally divided over the issue. A bit confused. But I’m okay with sitting on the fence here…
I do know of sex-workers who are empowered and have choices. Then I do know of sex workers who come from traumatized backgrounds and although are still making a choice, that choice is a bit harmful to them.
I mentioned above my friend who went into the industry… She would tell me about some pretty unsafe situations… It can’t be good for the psyche to be constantly entering into danger….But then again I can see how that danger isn’t the sex worker’s fault, of course.
By the very nature of show biz, SDOAC, surely has to polish things up, though… I would think….
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The most stressful thing about my day is reading awful whorephobic stuff like most of the comments on this blog.
Actually my clients treat me with respect!
I like my job!
And when I say I like it, it makes people very uncomfortable, and they don’t want to hear it.
That in itself should tell you something about how messed up the world is about sex work! Its not the work thats difficult, its the discrimination that comes with it!
Thanks for replying
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It sounds exhausting, dealing with that much ignorance… I think you’ve made some of the most valid and enlightening comments on this most.
Thanks for keeping on responding to people, even though it must feel like banging your head against a wall.
And I’ll admit to being guilty of ignorance too (I’m sure that’s clear to you! I think I thought that “Secret Diary…” was completely fabricated.)
It’s so good to hear about the respect-part. I’m sure it is possible to have regulated system where the true offenders (people that commit sexual violence) are charged fairly. It has nothing to do with sex work- It’s about power and abuse.
Ever thought about doing an opinion piece for Mammamia? I hope someone in the industry does. I have learn way more from your commentary than I have from the actual article… So at least that’s come out of it?