My husband left for a few days in Sydney for work today and my second thought (after gee I’ll miss you) was ‘awesome, I can ped-egg my feet without judgement!’ I know, my life is sad, but the reality is, since being in a relationship and becoming a mum, me time has become almost extinct, and I’m talking about daggy-self improvement, me time.
There are certain things I don’t like to do in front of anyone else, even my husband, and pumicing my feet is one of them. Slathering on fake tan is another. Plucking my eyebrows, and painting my toenails also make the list. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my behaviours, it’s just that they are often met by “ewww yuck (anything to do with my feet)”…”gee that smells (fake tan, nail polish, nail polish removal)”…then it’s always followed by “can’t you do that when I’m not around!”
Yes, yes I can. It’s just that those times are pretty rare nowadays, and let’s just say my body needs its fair share of upkeep!
My other SSB’s (secret single behaviours) include watching trashy reality tv shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians and Teen Mom (hey they make me feel like a better person). Trawling fashion sites and adding things to my cart, but never actually hitting purchase (it’s like window shopping without the blisters!) And flicking through tabloids while listening to Billie Piper. You can see why I do these things in private.
Men don’t have the need to keep their SSB’s to themselves. They feel comfortable burping, farting, squeezing pimples and anything else you can probably think of, in front of you. And that’s totally fine, it has to be, because even if you’re not cool with it, they’ll do it anyway and probably more frequently just to annoy you.
What are your secret single behaviours? Tell me so that I feel less like a dag or maybe I can get some new ideas for the next time my husband is out of the house
In the meantime, I’ll be shaving the dead skin from my feet…too much??
Erin works in radio part time, and can be heard reading the weekend bulletins, nationally for the Austereo network. You can find her blog here.
What’s your secret single behaviour?
Comments
84 Comments so far
I get into bed…. And I fart. Out loud.
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I don’t feel the need to write a list here as I think I nailed it the first time when I wrote this.
http://thebluejeansgirl.blogspot.com.au/2011/08/my-secret-singleness.html
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I sleep diagonally across the bed, eat Brie and crackers for dinner and have a cheeky cigarette with a glass of sav. Heaven!!
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Breakfast food for all meals!
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watching all the TV shows that I have secretly recorded on iQ…
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I iQ all the “trashy TV shows” and watch in peace….
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I love drinking flavoured milk and smoothies, but being a little sensitive to lactose I have to avoid them when the other half is around. When he’s away on work, I make myself a huge banana and mango smoothy with the works, then let rip on the couch all afternoon. Then I order enough takeaway for 6 people and eat the lot. Thanks for letting me share that.
)
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Most of the stuff already listed I’m lucky enough to be able to feel free to do around my man. So my SSB might be the weirdest one… Sleeping with my ugg boots on. Yep, boots in bed. It makes me so cosy! But obviously too freaky to share.
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Mmm probably putting on Adele, on repeat, wailing her songs out on the top of my lungs, while scrubbing the toilet heehee
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Hours and hours of Pinterest. Some etsy to mix things up.
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Just opened up a pack of tim tams and a bottle of wine…
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the only thing i do when hubby is away is spread out across the bed to sleep, every thing else i can do with him there, no secrets or need to be alone, he lets me have my ‘me’ time, and i let him have his! even if we are in the same room we can still do our own thing
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I have a 2 year old, and one on the way, we live most of the state away from any helpful family, when hubby is away, its just double parent shift for me! I feel all kinds of sorry and impressed for single mummas when he goes away for work! you guys rock, and i don’t know how you do it!
I do indulge in some mild single behaviour, like pancakes for dinner and a wine!
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I’m another who cleans! I told my Mum (an old school feminist) who nearly passed out, but I love being able to have everything ‘just so’ and to sit down and have a coffee and admire my handiwork!
And sooo much trashy TV! Hoarders it is for me just at the minute.
But most of all I just like the space to daydream and relax, while using up the whole bed.
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I let the cats and the dogs sleep in the bed/bedroom with me (dogs are too big for bed – sadly). Eat chocolate for tea and watch Sex and the City and Scrubs on high rotation.
Because I find it such a chore, I also wont wash my hair for DAYS if I know there isnt going to be man around burying his face in it when he cuddles me.
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Epilating legs and plucking eyebrows naked whilst listening to a weird collection of music. Spending hours searching for and squeezing out ingrown hairs, doing a good old fashioned pore strip. Watching various trash tv, subsisting on a diet of veggies, wine and assorted sweets and talking on the phone and catching up with friends for hours on end.
Ahhh – the single life, how I miss it!
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I’ve got a special (and very very daggy) dance that I do when I am home alone. It happens so rarely now and I get a bit carried away with the excitement of it all!
http://mummyateme.blogspot.com.au/
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I like to catch up on the latest developments in internet pornography.
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I have Sunday Spa Night…
= Reading trash-mags and giving myself a mani-pedi whilst hair and face mask on in my comfiest PJs…
I look forward to it all week!
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Eating a frozen meal, or a whole packet of pods or lollies on the couch. Doing my nails and watching 30 minute makeover. OR dancing around the house to motown classics!
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I eat pizza while I soak in a bubble bath. Best ever.
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Wearing Peter Alexander PJs… Constantly.
Kate x
http://twelvedates.wordpress.com/
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Reading while I eat dinner….on the couch. Not exactly living on the edge, but by husband is a real stickler for the sit down at the table and eat quietly type of meal. Reading in bed is the other – but only because the poor bugger gets up at 4 to go to work and I don’t want to keep him awake just so I can do something in bed that I can do anywhere else in the house.
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Cereal for dinner. A late night fag and scotch. A big comfy bed all to myself. Masterbation. Chocolate frogs. Early nights watching crappy TV. My list is a long one and this is just a taste. I can’t stand the constant commentary that comes with married life. Even better than hubby being out for the night is me traveling for work. Hotel bliss with room service. Not that being married is all bad it can just be exhausting at times.
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Well…I just did exactly that tonight. I ordered pizza (without judgement), channel surfed through a litany of bad reality TV shows and have now settled on the Top 40 and thought I might attempt to relieve my 20s. Fortunately I’m brought back to earth by the reality that I have to take my son to the toilet, do the dishes and make school lunches.
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facestalk and read mamamia comments whilst eating nutella from the jar.
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Haha that’s what I do too!!
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me three . . . the whole jar of Nutella – yummo!
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Billie Piper is a wonderful human being. No one should be ashamed of anything to do with her. Ever.
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I am single and I can do what I want. Not trying to rub it in or anything, I promise, I would like to share my life with someone, but that’s not happening, so this is what I can do whenever I want
- Eat cereal for dinner
- Eat 2 minute noodles for dinner
- Stay up til 1 am playing computer games
- Sleep smack bang in the middle of the bed
- Burp and fart as much as I want
- Not clean the house if I don’t want to
- Sleep in until 10 am on weekends
Sometimes it’s great to be me
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I eat popcorn for dinner!!!!!
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Watch shamelessly trashy tv shows, listen to girl singers loud and clean. I can’t clean ‘properly’ with him around, bless him, he always tries to ‘help.’ It’s all so refreshing.
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I have the same problem! I can’t clean with the husband around either. In fact I even resort to suggesting he catch a late movie (loves movies on his own) under the pretense I need some ‘me’ time when really I just want to clean the house all by myself my way!
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Defrost the freezer. Just not possible when he’s home.
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Isnt this kind of a take off of sex and the city?
This one – http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0698682/plotsummary
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I have many SSB’s, and don’t consider them anything to be ashamed of… everyone needs time alone to do their own thing. Off the top of my head:
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- Nutella / Peanut Butter / Milo straight from the jar / tin
- Staying in a towel / naked for an hour or two after a shower, because I cannot be bothered putting clothes on
- Tanning
- Eyebrow plucking
- Cruising around the house with teeth whitening strips on my teeth
- Hair washing (my hair dries frizzy/wavy – think Hermione from the first Harry Potter – so I make sure no one is going to be home when it is hair washing night
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… in fact I should probably add that as I write this exact comment, I am wrapped in a towel, post-shower, reading Mamamia… and don’t intend on putting clothes on for at least another hour or so!
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haha! I thought i was the only one who did the towel thing!
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I totally do the towel thing too… I have two female housemates who are the same as well :p
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I can stand having to get dressed in a steamy bathroom… Thats my roommate test… male or female will i be embarrassed doing the towel dash!
On the other token my current Irish housemate locks the door EVER time she goes to the bathroom. Even if she only brushes her teeth! Does my head in that she doesn’t trust me – thinks i am going to walk in on her whilst showering or something!
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I was the only girl in a house of boys and it was great, everyone trusted each other, there weren’t any locks on the doors. It was great, like having older siblings (for me) BUT at one stage there was a guy who had 6 siblings (oh yeah, 7 kids – woweeee!) and he wasn’t really socially skilled. There was an unofficial roster for showering (teeth brushing was a bit of an all in event as we all left the house at the same time), but this one guy would sit outside the bathroom for the ENTIRE time I was showering so that he wouldn’t miss his slot… CREEPY! After not very long the other blokes noticed an convinced him that no-one was going to take his ‘shower slot’ – oh I miss flatting lol
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I epilate my legs in the bedroom or living room, sitting on a towel.
I watch chick-flick DVDs including Pride & Prejudice and drink wine.
Sometimes I eat corn chips for dinner, often in bed.
Other than corn chips, “girly food” is all that stuff that my not-quite-vego boyfriend won’t eat” eg a meal that is mainly meat, meat on the bone, and any sort of seafood (he’s allergic).
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i think you are me! haha
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Mr A is away a lot.
I build a pillow fort in the bed and sleep in it.
I eat chocolate chips from the packet while watching ABC murder mysteries.
I stay up L. A. T. E.
And I regret the lateness and the chocolate tummy ache the next day
. I’m glad he’s around most of the time to influence me onto the straight and narrow!
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‘a pillow fort’
that is very cute!
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Not sure how i am ever goign to fit a man in my bed with my pillow fort!
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When I’m by myself I’ll break wind as often as I please and drink tea from a dirty mug.
Variety is the spice of life, after all !
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When my hubby has to go away for work I do enjoy the time to myself…well once the kids are in bed anyway! I watch the things I want on tv(like a chickflick or music videos) or just channelsurf,find all my fave songs on youtube,eat Milo from the tin,read until or after midnight and sleep diagonally or on hubby’s side of the bed-it’s comfier than mine!!!
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-half a spoon of nutella, directly followed by half a spoon of peanut butter (straight out of the jar, of course)
-epilady-ing my legs/waxing my bikini line sitting on a towel on the floor of the bedroom, whilst watching friends/gilmore girls/sex and the city on my laptop with the sound all the way up
-slathering my hair in moisture treatment, wrapping my head up in glad wrap and leaving it like that (until i can be bothered to rinse it out..)
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I watch beauty videos on YouTube. For HOURS!
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Glad to see others are the same as me:
*Nutella out of the jar with a tablespoon
*Epilady on the main hallway floor in my knickers, (much better light to see, instead of hiding in the bathroom with the door locked)
*Shiraz bottle in the lounge room with me so I can pour at leisure
*Skipping to my favourite parts (which I know to the minute:seconds) of Crazy Stupid Love, Blue Valentine, Drive, The Notebook to ogle at Ryan
*Nair my upper lip and be able to walk around the house while waiting the 5 mins instead of hiding
*Putting both pillows together and laying in the centre of the bed
*Reading until well past midnight without hearing “go to sleep, are you still reading?”
BLISS !
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Laying diagonally across the bed!!! Best sleep ever!!!
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After a long long bath,I lay across the bed also, yes, best sleep ever! PLUS I use my ipad in bed cruising the online shopping sites as well as mamamia plus watch a movie til all hours or watch music videos. At the same time I am eating anything from Kettle Chips, choc, ice cream, dips with corn chips or cheese with red wine. I have just read that back….not pretty!
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Using my epilady on a towel while sitting comfortably on the floor, rather than trying to do it in the bathroom.
Watching hideous reality tv shows. This is something i can do when my husband is around, but it’s no fun as he complains non-stop about it.
To be fair, he’s stopped watch all those ice-trucker/pawn shop reality shows as I was complaining about them!
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I get so excited about not having to cook! I have beans on toast and am so stoked sitting in front of some stupid reality crime show like RBT or something. Pretty lame…
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I so agree about the cooking! It’s all tuna on toast or fried egg sanga when my man’s away. Not that i do all the cooking when he’s here, but still, the nightly rigmarole of cooking an actual meal gets tedious.
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I eat standing up in my kitchen, I get out of the shower and lie around in my towel reading trashy magzines, watch trashy TV – and I only ever cook rice noodles with soy sauce,
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Haha, for me it’s egg noodles with soy sauce. And a tine of tuna!
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Mani/Pedi and facials are my SSB as well as watching my girly shows like Top Model and SATC etc..also i love to make gnocci to eat when im alone no idea why bt its my single meal haha!
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I sing. Loud.
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Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror, turn on the pedestal fan and belt out My Heart Will Go On.
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Oh darn I do that with people around….
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I’m old school, I put on some really cool music (ok, Britney spears or Abba) and DANCE.
Lame, I know.
Then there’s the face masks, waxing, and eating way too much cereal. Awesome!
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I will put on the biggest tearjerker movie and bawl my eyes out. You know, the type of crying in a movie that renders you with a blotchy red face and swollen eyes? Yep, me, alone in the house.
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Eating Nutella out of the jar with a large spoon, applying fake tan and dyeing my hair!
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Spearing a deep-seated pimple with a needle then squeezing out the contents. It’s a much smoother and less painful process than just squeezing till it pops.
Wow. It’s only in writing it out that I realise how gross it is. Hee!
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When Husband is out of the house i do not cook. I eat ice cream for dinner.
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