SEALED SECTION: I found something in his drawer…

Mia Freedman Thursday 5 April 2012 12:57pm

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Tracey Cox

Just when you thought Mamamia had everything covered we’re actually uncovering something new.

Having worked on sealed sections in magazines (I reckon I had to write or commission over 100 in my years on Cleo and Cosmo), I’ve always rated sex chat as something women like to do (and like to have). And discussing sex is something we’ve never been shy about here on Mamamia.  But starting today, we’re going to do it a little bit differently. Try a new position as it were .

Introducing world-famous Sexpert Tracey Cox and the new Mamamia Sealed Section.

I first met Tracey when she was working on Cosmo as deputy editor and I was at Cleo. We worked in the same building, attended many of the same magazine functions and became close friends. She was the one I turned to when I was offered the editorship of Cosmo and had a freakout. By then she was well on her way to being a sexpert, having released her first how-to book about sex that became an international best-seller.

Today, Tracy (yes, Cox is her real surname)  is an internationally recognised sex, body language and relationships expert as well as a TV presenter. She lives in the UK and is famous there and in the US for her books, columns and TV shows on sex and relationships. She’s  appeared on Oprah, CNN and The Today Show in the US, as well as numerous prime-time chat shows in the UK and world-wide. Her first book, Hot Sex: How to Do It, was an instant worldwide success and is now available in 140 countries. Her other book titles include Hot Sex, supersex, superflirt, Hot Relationships and superhotsex. She also has her own range of Tracey Cox Supersex Toys and Lubricants.

I am stoked to have her on Mamamia to host our new Sealed Section – a series of regular posts about sex.  It’s probably Not Safe for Work (although we will never have any NSFW images) but it’s completely safe and totally appropriate if you need to know or talk about anything sex related at all

So let’s start with our first Sex Questions. Today it’s about toys and was originally posted here

Question: I am writing to you because I’m hoping you might be able to tell me what I found hidden in the back of my husband’s bedside drawer. I thought it was a big torch but when I took the lid off, I got quite a shock because inside it looks like a woman’s lady bits. I don’t understand what it is or why he would need this when he has a wife?

Answer: I suspect this is what’s called a ‘Fleshlight’. It looks like a torch because it was invented by an ex LA cop who based the design on the US cop’s standard flashlight. Those are indeed ‘lady bits’ because what you found is what you suspect it is: an artificial vagina (or ‘male masturbatory sleeve’ to use the more politically correct jargon).

The Fleshlight is one of the most popular male sex toys in the world because it’s made from startlingly realistic cyberskin and the inside can be completely customised to whatever he fancies. The idea is for men to thrust in and out of the sleeve. Not only does it provide a (quite satisfying, apparently) orgasm, it does the cleaning up afterward because semen neatly collects in the end. Why would your husband need this when he has the real thing? For the same reason why lots of women (though I’m guessing perhaps not you) own a vibrator, even if they’re happily partnered up. He probably uses it when you’re not around and he feels aroused. Or perhaps his libido is higher than yours and he’d rather take care of himself than hassle you for sex when you clearly don’t fancy it. Or it’s just something ‘naughty’ that’s his dirty little secret, making the gadget even more appealing.

It doesn’t mean he’s gone off you or doesn’t enjoy sex with you just because he has one. So instead of feeling threatened, why not adopt the ‘If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’ mentality and treat yourself to a discreetly sized little bullet vibrator and squirrel it away in your bedside drawer. That will not only even the score nicely, you might even come around to the whole sex toy thing!

And while we are on the subject of sex toys for men, allow Tracey to explain “The Stroker”

Does your partner use toys? Do you? How do you feel about toys in your relationship?

Tracey Cox details 100 incredible sex positions and describes (alongside fabulous photographs) how you perform each of the positions with your partner in her latest book, 100 Hot Sex Positions.

You can follow Tracey on Twitter and Facebook or visit her website to buy her books and sex toys here.