Share
sex 30 seconds. That’s all I get.

“Right now, our sex-life is a mess”

 

 

 

 

 

By ANONYMOUS

30 seconds. That’s all I get. Sometimes maybe a minute if I’m lucky.

That’s how long it takes for my husband to reach orgasm. Then we’re done.

It wasn’t always like this. We had a really healthy sex life for the first two years of our relationship. It wasn’t like he could go for hours or anything, but he certainly lasted longer than a minute.

That’s only started happening in the last 12 months.

Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.

I just don’t understand it. Nothing else changed. We would fool around a little, there was great foreplay, lots of passion flowing between us, then… As soon as things went to the next level, it was over.

It happened gradually. To be honest I was a little flattered at first. I was chuffed that I was so good at what I was doing that he just couldn’t help himself. But gradually, every once in a while turned into every couple of days, then every couple of days turned into every day. And now it’s every single time we have sex.

I’m not going to lie – it’s bloody frustrating for me. The problem is, he gets so embarrassed once it happens that he can’t bring himself to keep going, so I’m constantly left hanging. There are other ways he can satisfy me; we both know that. But he can barely look me in the eye after it happens, let alone bring me to orgasm.

low sex drive 30 seconds. That’s all I get.

“As soon as things went to the next level, it was over.”

He won’t talk about. I’ve tried. Other than telling me how embarrassed it makes him, I can’t get anything out of him. I once tried suggesting that he go to the doctor, but he refused. I think he thinks that as a man he should be able to fix it himself. Or even that if he was more of a man it wouldn’t be happening in the first place. But that doesn’t help anything, because in the mean time, our relationship is seriously suffering.

You don’t realise the effect a bad sex-life has on every other aspect of your relationship until you find yourself right in the middle of it. We both know there’s an issue, but because he refuses to talk about it, at the moment we’re just living with it constantly hanging over our heads. It’s pretty hard to have a relaxed conversation at breakfast when the night before he came in 47 seconds then slept on the couch because he was so embarrassed.

And that’s if we had sex at all. I think because we both know what’s going to happen every time, we’ve slowly just started to avoid trying altogether. Why ruin a perfectly good night by making him feel bad about himself and frustrating me?

Wow – I can’t believe I referred to sex as ‘ruining’ a perfectly good night. Is it any wonder we’re constantly bickering now too?

I’m also finding myself getting more and more desperate physically. It’s difficult for me to meet my own needs because it breaks his heart knowing I have to try. But a girl needs to be satisfied. I would never, ever go elsewhere, but I do find myself thinking about it all the time. I nearly lost it over a slightly sweaty courier last week.

Constantly daydreaming about sex isn’t the worst part of all this though. The worst part is watching our relationship change. We’re newlyweds, but a fly on the wall in our house could mistake us for housemates. That’s how bad things have become. We love each other deeply, but the sexual part of our relationship is disappearing.

I consider sex one of the most important parts of a relationship. It needs attention and maintenance just like any other part. But right now, our sex-life is a mess. And he won’t talk about it.

Something really has to give. He has to get help. I have to get help. We have to do something. Because this is the man I chose to spend my life with, and I’m terrified that it’s not going to work if we keep going this way. I can’t live the next 50 years like this. I just can’t.

 

 2013 08 15 1157 30 seconds. That’s all I get.If you think you or your partner have premature ejaculation (PE) and it is affecting your quality of life and sexual satisfaction, talk to your doctor about how to improve control over ejaculation.

A.Menarini Australia Pty Ltd

 

 

Have you ever had trouble communicating with your partner about intimate issues?

Share

Comment Guidelines: Imagine you’re at a dinner party. Different opinions are welcome but keep it respectful or the host will show you the door. We have zero tolerance for any abuse of our writers, our editorial team or other commenters. You can read a more detailed outline of our commenting guidelines HERE.

And if you’re offensive, you’ll be blacklisted and all your comments will go directly to spam. Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re going to be – cool. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation.

Important note for those wishing to comment anonymously: If you wish to remain anonymous, please simply use 'Anonymous' or 'Guest' as your user name and type in guest@mamamia.com.au as the email.