Jo and her son
by JO ABI
My first-born son has severe food allergies. He couldn’t keep my breast milk down and was diagnosed with allergies to egg and tree nuts at 18 months.
Keeping him alive is a daily struggle.
When Philip eats egg or tree nuts his body over-reacts to the protein. His immune system is overly-sensitive and it mistakes the protein in these foods as poison. It immediately tries to block his airways to stop the ‘poison’ getting in, causing his nose and throat to swell. He suffocates in minutes.
When Philip is having an allergic reaction my first clue is his distress. He is overcome with an unexplained feeling of dread. The dread is his body warning him of what is about to occur. His face then becomes flushed and his eyes start to dart around looking for help. The bridge of his nose swells first. By this stage he is crying. He feels faint because he is having trouble breathing. He jumps up and down because a sensation of itchiness comes from the inside out.
There’s one in my handbag, one at school, one at mum’s place and one at my sisters.
I have moments to save his life. I get his ePipen from my handbag. I have one there, one in my kitchen cupboard, one at school, one at my sister’s house and one at my mum’s house.
I sit Philip on my lap facing away from me so his upper thigh presses against my upper thigh. Hugging him with my left arm to restrain him I inject him with my right hand directly into the large muscle of his upper thigh. We count to 10 slowly. After we’ve counted I take the needle out, rub the area and, still hugging him, call an ambulance.
I don’t know why food is killing our kids. I don’t know why so many kids are born with life-threatening food allergies. All I know is there are lots of ways our children can be injured and killed and now a piece of cake can kill mine.
I have given up full time work to care for him. He is almost 9. My biggest fear is that I’ll get him safely to 18 and then he’ll go out with friends and join them for Chinese food. He won’t have his ePipen on him because it’s too big to carry in his pocket. He’ll die in agony. I won’t be there to save him.
This week, a Victorian city council placed a ban on homemade cakes at kindergartens. The reason? Kids with allergies and not being able to know for sure what’s in home-baked goods. And I know that ban makes no sense for some people but for me? It’s a no brainer.
This.
We wouldn’t keep dangerous poison in classrooms so keep the foods that are poisonous to my son out of classrooms too please because he has a right to be in a safe environment while he is too young to manage his allergy himself.
How bad would you feel if a cake you’d sent in killed my son? Who would you blame?
Please help me keep him safe.
It’s all about layers of protection. Ban the foods that create most problems, keep his medicine close by, teach people to use it and teach children about allergies.
We build fences around swimming pools. We teach them to swim. It’s the exact same thing. Please support all measures when it comes to kids and food allergies.
If you’re interested in finding out more about efforts to keep kids with allergies safe at school you can visit: www.triggerallergy.com.
Do your kids have allergies? Do you have allergies? What do you think of rules put in place by schools and councils?
Comments
178 Comments so far
While I sympathise, your son is eventually going to have to live in the real world, not a falsely constructed cocoon, and in order to survive, he has to learn to distinguish between what is safe and not safe and to ask questions about any food he’s offered. While he’s too young to manage his condition now, surely the learning needs to begin early?
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My eldest daughter is also anaphylactic to egg and peanut. She is 6 years old.
The school she goes to though does not have a ‘No Nut Policy’. And actually, it doesn’t bother me at all. The school consider themselves ‘allergy aware’ and encourage each class level not to bring in foods that might harm an allergic child in their year level. This works very well in my opinion.
My daughter is still only a little girl and until she is old enough to inject herself with her EpiPen, then the adults around her each day are responsible for her. BUT, she is very aware of what she can and cannot eat. Even from the age of 2.5 years, most of the time, she would ask people if the food they offered her had egg or nut in it.
I think banning homemade cakes in school is crazy. School aged children mostly know what they can and can’t have. And if they don’t know, they ask. And if the adults around don’t know, the kids don’t eat the food. Simple. My daughter’s teacher has a box of treats that she can give her if the other kids in the class are enjoying birthday cake or something. She doesn’t mind at all.
Banning home-baked goods is silly to me, because, if you are going to do that, then you should ban store-bought food as well. Because, let’s face it, unless you’ve got the box with the ingredients label, there is no telling what is in packaged food. At least with home baking, the cook can be certain what they have used.
I’d never leave my daughter in the care of someone (even for a play date or birthday party) who didn’t know how to administer and EpiPen if they needed to. Most parents are cool with learning how to do this. Some aren’t and I understand that, really I do.
I also don’t expect other people to cater for my child. She takes her own food wherever she goes. It does amaze me though how thoughtful most people are about making sure they do have food that is safe for her. And her friends seem even more vigilant than us at times. It’s lovely to see the rest of the school class watch out for their mates and make sure they are safe.
Jo, I understand that your son is too young to manage his allergy himself, as is my daughter. But don’t the adults around him every moment of the day know how to manage it? His family, his teachers/carers?
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Here’s some perspective for you – Phillip has allergies. But he is a normal little boy. He can talk, he can walk. He is toilet trained. But for mothers like Tanis Miller – this is not a reality.
http://www.tanismiller.com/
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Anonomouse a very shallow thing to throw back at a mum that has her sons life foremost in her mind every single day. Sure, there are terribly disabled children and yes we all feel for those mums too but do you really have the right to “give a mum who loves her child a reality check”? Hopefully Jo takes this comment as water off a ducks back because that’s about how much cred it deserves!!!!!
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Anonomouse: not sure if you read the fact that this little boy can DIE from food. As an Aunt of a disabled child I am in no way trying to diminish the heartache that some families go through but come on, allergies are a real thing that can kill our children. How can you say “get some perspective” to a mum whose child could die at any moment???? Maybe you need a little “perspective” when it comes to allergies ……
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Anonomouse, there are also starving children in Africa, kids who live in slums, kids with cancer… There is always someone worse off. That doesn’t diminish or invalidate someone’s personal challenges, and in Jo’s case, those challenges are tough, constant and worthwhile discussing in the context of what should or shouldn’t be banned in schools, i would have thought.
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Ms Abi was detailing her daily struggles. By pointing out that someone else has it worse, you’ve not only gone off topic, you’ve made light of Ms Miller’s struggles and made yourself look pretty silly into the bargain. Bravo.
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Congratulations on speaking up. I’ve grown up with allergies (non life threatening) and people seem to believe that I make it up. Some of these allergies have now been passed on to some of my children.
There are many people out there with ignorant opinions on allergies and just how severe they can be. We need to protect children with life threatening allergies exactly as you stated. Great job…keep up the good wotk raising awareness
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As a mother to three, two daughters with absolutely no allergies and then our last child, our son who has multiple allergies ( anaphylaxis to cows milk protein- so anything with dairy in it, allergies to egg and wheat and gluten intolerant) it saddens me to read the hurtful and totally ignorant comments of many who don’t and will never understand. Prior to having our son, we were probably the same. Never knew much about allergies but I am sure we had misguided views on them. Then bam, we found ourselves on the allergy merry go round when he was 2 weeks of age. It is scary and it is life threatening. I have seen my son barely able to breath as his airways swell from the tiniest bit of chocolate. I spend hours and hours reading labels, investigating, ringing manufacturers, nursing him at night because he itches until his skin is almost peeling away from his little body. I cook from scratch and drive two and a half hours every couple of weeks to purchase food that is safe for him ( no we don’t live in a big town, we live rurally).
I have seen first hand how it irritates and annoys other people and how put out they are from being kindly asked to not allow their child to go down a slide smearing ice cream all the way down. I have had every accusation under the sun- our house is too clean, I ate the wrong foods when pregnant, I didn’t breastfeed long enough and the list goes on. Fact is our boy is a farm boy, outside in the dirt with his dad from sun up til sun down most days, I ate a healthy and varied diet ,the same one I ate when pregnant with our daughters. And I exclusively breast fed until he was 6 months then continued for another 6 months whilst introducing solids. He could eat wheat until he was just over one when he started reacting to it ( do people realise allergies can occur at any time or age, even if you have never reacted before?).
I don’t wrap my son in cotton wool, in fact at almost 3 he could tell you and show you all the things he is allergic to. He will not take food from anyone other than his parents, grandparents or day carers. He goes to creche ( yes shock horror!) and i have not asked for one thing to be banned. My reasons? Because he will walk through life surrounded by these common food items that are everywhere. We have brilliant, brilliant day carers. They make playdough out of rice flour for all the children and they cook but they modify the ingredients so that our son is safe. No parents mind and I know, because I have asked. Their children still get the experience of cooking and preparing food ( and eating it too!), they still get to use playdough! If there is a birthday, my son excitedly gets one of his own yummy cupcakes whilst the other kids enjoy the birthday cake. All the children sit down and then they wash their hands and faces with their own individual face washer ( another brilliant idea from our carers). I am all for empowering my son but I am still hurt by the ignorant comments that come from those that could possibly never know what it is really like. And until you have or someone you care for has a severe allergy you never will…..
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Anon28 – Thank you for sharing your experience. I don’t have a child with allergies but as a parent of young children we are in ocntact with the children in our kids classes who do have them. I think education is the key and a few good rules. At our school no food is allowed into the playground. Kids must eat at their desks where they can be supervised by the teacher. Parents are notified that there is a child in the class with an allergy to ensure that no food is brought that will affect the child. I think if we can do as much as we can whilst still allowing the child to learn that they need to be in control just like a diabetic or any other chronic illness. So all power to you for taking that road.
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As a child I was allergic to peanuts eggs milk bananas and various animals, hay etc had issues with various other foods.
Tho I was / am not ANA my reaction included asthma and in the case of peanuts and raw banana my reaction was severe enough to trigger a sudden onset attack, which could kill me.
I have fortunately grown out of my severe reactions to most of my allergies and now a rash and mild asthma are my easily treated reactions.
However I still cannot consume any peanut products as I still risk a very severe to life threatening reaction.
I am now approaching 40 so had to live with this in a time when allergies simply were not understood, and barely tolerated.
My parents were firm with me – when I was not with them, like a diabetic or anyone with a serious illness it was my responsibility to look after myself and my life.
This involved asking questions and trying to always be with friends who knew of my allergies and issues and when needed asked questions for me or helped me manage an attack.
I travelled the world successfully, and aside from a couple of Asian countries where allergy is simply not something in their culture hence understanding, and getting a bit slack once in Europe ,I’ve managed to live a full and very independent life.
Jo I do understand your concern, I really do, but in my humble opinion it’s more important that you empower your son. Relying on bans only encourages you guys to relax, and that’s not the answer. Kids will be kids and I’d personally be more comfortable when I was in control and not relying on others.
It’s worked for me.
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Jo, I don’t understand why your giving up full time work is of any help to your son when he would be in school most of that time? Can you explain further? I’m so sorry he has to go through this, I don’t understand how anyone can read your explanation and feel anything but compassion – some of these responses are astounding.
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His school does there best but there is no nurse. Oh how I wish there were still nurses in every school. If he has a reaction it is the office admin staff who are in charge. When he had a reaction one day they rang me and were flustered. I asked what they’d given him and they said nothing. Luckily his reaction was minor. Other incidents where they have mismanaged. They are better now and I am working three days a week but I feel better being close to the school or when I’m not having my mum on standby.
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I’d be seriously concerned that the school’s staff [teacher's, aides, librarians etc] haven’t been trained to administer Adrenalin in the case of an Anaphylactic attack.
As carers of our children, it is their duty of care to be trained not only in first aid but also Epipen use and Asthma management. I’d be taking this up with the Principal and the school board.
At my son’s school all staff are trained in case of emergency, your school should have this too…
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I’m sorry….this is a woman who posted only last week that one of her greatest fears was that her children might end up overweight. Excuse me if I find her ‘struggle to keep her child alive’ plea slightly incredulous.
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I too have a dairy & egg allergy and grew up not being able to have dairy and be vaccinated (they used to be made with egg!). While I feel for all parents whose children have these allergies, it was much harder for me growing up (I was the only one I knew of with this allergy) and the only thing my parents could do was teach me to not eat anything that I hadn’t brought with me. Yes, it was hard but we all agreed that it was the only way to go and that it wasn’t fair to make everyone else miss out on things because of me. I am one of four kids and yes, there were times when I was upset when I missed out on things both at school and at home but that’s life and I am still here to tell the tale.
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I honestly don’t know what the right answer is. My 3 yr old son is ANA to dairy and egg. It has been a big learning curve for us as a family. His first ANA reaction was at 3 months old to formula. He has an older brother who is still allowed to eat dairy and egg around his brother but both have been taught not to share food and plates and to wash their hands after eating.
We go to birthday parties and I will send food that he can eat. If people try to give him food he will ask “does it have dairy and egg?” but he still won’t take the food unless my husband or I have said its ok. I worry about the day we aren’t there to supervise.
He started 3 yr old kinder this year and they asked if I wanted a blanket ban on dairy. I can’t do that. I don’t do it at home, I can’t do it to all the kids at the kinder. For the first time in his little life he is isolated when he eats. Yes its making him aware that he is different, but he absolutely needs to know that there are foods he can’t eat/touch.
Just this week there has been a big brouhaha that the kinder has banned all cakes and pre-packaged food. This is not because of my son or any others with allergies, but because they want to encourage healthy eating. Our kids are only there for at most 5 hours, so a sandwich, yoghurt, fruit, dried fruit and plain dry biscuits and cheese are encouraged. If you want to give your kids cakes and pre-packaged food I’m pretty sure they can survive the 5 hours and have it when they get home.
I get that primary school is different and I would hope by then my son is well aware of his allergies and knows not to share food. I don’t see a blanket ban as the answer. Its scary but we need to teach these kids how to manage their allergies. I completely understand the worry. I stress for the hours that my son is at kinder, but I have to trust that his teachers know what they are doing.
I wish there was a simple answer that made everyone happy.
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Jo, I can so relate to where you’re coming from here! I’ve just finished high school, and I’ve been anaphylactic to nuts my whole life, as well as sensitive (what I call sensitive is what others call allergic, but I’m not anaphylactic) to some citrus fruits and animals.
Although its tough when kids are younger, I’ve found my allergies much easier to deal with as I’ve grown older.
When I was younger we travelled around the globe for my parents work, so I got used to meeting people I didn’t know and asking the necessary questions about food – “excuse me, does this have nuts?”, “does my Mummy know about this?”, “excuse me, could you please read me the ingredients in English?” Etc.
From these experiences, and having to learn to ask from a young age, I now have no hesitations in asking at a cafe about ingredients, or ringing a friends Mum before I go over for dinner to let her know about my allergies.
If your son (he sounds so brave!) is able to, I would suggest starting to get him to ask questions of his friends, or at cafes, about food. That way, as he grows older, he won’t have issues plucking up the courage to ask, and will always remember to ‘ask, then eat’ (which is a motto my parents came up with for me as a child, and I still stick by now).
As I’ve grown, my allergies have become like second nature, and all my friends know about my dietary needs. I also make sure I tell everyone new I meet about it, especially if we’re eating, so they don’t accidently throw a cashew at my face (it’s happened before!)
The only time I’ve ever resented my allergies is when I’m on a date – having to halt before that first kiss, to whisper “have you had nuts today?”, is quite the romance killer….
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Jo, I’m so sorry that you need to explain this especially to other parents. It seems so simple to me and so many others. No nuts or eggs at school , what is the big deal? If that’s all your child can eat fair enough but otherwise? Send something else.. capiche?
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Visit triggerallergy.com. They are the best place to go to help you understand. Tell everyone!
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I can’t believe there are so many comments below, many of them made by other mothers of all people, that show so little compassion for Jo’s situation. Surely the mild inconvenience of not sending a cake to school, is outweighed by the risk it may pose to another child’s life. Even those who don’t agree, could have some compassion in the way they frame their comments, when they consider we are talking about a situation that can be life threatening to a CHILD and that the child’s mother will be reading those comments. My personal view is that yes, children with allergies should be taught responsibility, but they should be given as much protection as possible until they have time to mature, before exercising that responsibility. We teach our children to look both ways before crossing the road, but we still hold their hands until they are old enough to be trusted with their own lives.
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What some of these posters who show such little compassion may not know is hat a life threatening allergy can pop up at any time. That’s right, one day your child can happily be chowing down on a prawn/egg/peanut butter delight and be just fine, the next day they can literally be allergic to it. And a lot of allergies get worse the more you’re exposed to the allergen. It doesn’t always present itself at birth. So all of you who think you’ve dodged a bullet whilst you happily judge away – yep, sadly an allergy can still happen to you and yours.
A little sensitivity wouldn’t go astray – there but the grace of God go I.
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My daughter (6) too suffers anaphylaxis to tree nuts, namely Macadamia’s & Hazelnuts. Whilst I would LOVE to have those items removed completely from my childs classroom/school I know this is impossible and also unfair to ask.
What I am hugely impressed with is that our school is aware, I have an Epi Pen in her schools first aid room & her class room as well as my handbag, after school care room, both grandparents and in our first aid kit at home(she is to take to all outside class venues eg: Sport, Music etc), the children are discourgaged and monitored to avoid food sharing, her teachers will ask me when an item is bought in to share (namely a birthday cake, Ive even had parent bring in the packaging so I can read it over which was very kind) and they are to wash their hands and have a drink before play to avoid the unavoidable spit that comes with running and screaming and general childrens play time which if a child has just consumed a nutella sandwich could cause a reaction to my daughter.
I would not expect parents to completely change their childs diet purely because of the unfortunate circumstance my daughter faces daily however I ask for their understanding and assistance.
My daughter knows not to share food and to ask what is in foods before she consumes items she is unaware of. I have instilled her in a healthy sense of understanding of her reactions not to frighten her but to educate her so that others do not have to go without just because of my child…
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You sound just like a mother at our school – when the other mums found out her daughter was anaphalyctic, we honestly had no idea as she had not made any demands on what the other children could nor could not bring in their lunch boxes. On the other hand, we also have a slightly fanatical mother who has banned almost EVERY food known to man at the school (read my earlier comment!). Everyone feels much warmer towards the first mother and quite exasperated by the other one!!
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My 6yo daughter has allergies to egg, chocolate and some fruit. Fortunately none of these allergies are life threatening, but ingesting any amount of those foods will make her very ill.
I am thankful that her school doesn’t allow sharing of food and discourages cakes at birthdays. It’s lovely for children to be able to share something with classsmates for their birthdays, but make it something that isn’t going to harm another child. We took in a lollipop for each child and these were handed out at the end of the day so parents could supervise their children.
I really feel for you, Jo. Thank-you for writing this article and helping to alert people to the serious issue of food allergy.
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Has anyone who has a child with allergies noticed that some kindergartens and schools understandably fear litigation from parents who have children with allergies. Perhaps this has something to with banning cakes because my child has allergies and I have never requested the banning of cake.
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My school told me they are not liable for cases of allergies. They do it as part of their duty of care but you could never sue. As long as they did their best to care for him and other children will illnesses I’d never try to.
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Semi off topic but what’s baffling me is the number of kids that seem to be allergic to, well, everything these days! When I was in primary school around 10 years ago there may have been the odd kid who was allergic to nuts/peanuts. Is it because kids eat so much processed food? Don’t get sick often enough? If i’d done a science degree instead of arts i would have loved to research this further.
Also- i’ve lived in France (Paris) and nobody seems to be allergic to anything. Labels saying gluten free/nut free don’t exist. I myself am allergic to cheese (not badly) and when I asked for a dish without cheese the waiter looked at me like i was mad. Maybe it’s because the french love their cheese.
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I often hear people exclaiming about how “nearly every child” they know has allergies but my personal experience is that I know very few who are allergic and in fact I feel quite alone with my allergic child. Out of the 70 girls in her year, I only know of 1 other girl who is allergic to only some nuts. Whilst I wouldn’t wish anyone allergies, I sometimes feel it would be nice to know other allergic children and families to socialise with and for support.
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AmandaS if you’re on Facebook, look up Anaphylaxis & Allergy Friends Australia. It’s a closed group of mainly allergy parents (and some sufferers too) and great place for support, advice, information, recipes, opportunities to unload etc.
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Thanks for this piece, Jo. I don’t have a child with allergies, so I have no idea of the stresses and logistics of keeping a child safe. But I think it is important for the community to be vigilant and if there is some small inconvenience to all in the process, so be it. It’s worth it.
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The attitudes of some of the responders below truly frighten me. You have no idea!! Let me spin you a little tale and all I ask is that you suspend disbelief for a while.
Imagine a world where through some quirk of nature my child and a growing number of others are not only immune to the deadly effects of sodium cyanide, they actually thrive on it. So, for my son’s school lunch I’ll be sending him with sandwiches with a sprinkling of sodium cyanide. Now I appreciate that you’re concerned that coming into contact with this substance could kill your child (oh, I do hope they’re not attracted by that lovely sweet almond smell) but your child should be fine as long as you’ve ‘trained’ them properly and they isolate themselves at lunchtime – perhaps they could eat in the staff lunch room. I’ll instruct my child to always wash his hands after eating so he doesn’t accidentally smear the tiniest amount of it on the underside of chair or other equipment in the class room or playground, but, well, you know what kids are like; always in such a hurry – hands don’t always get washed that well. But I’m sure you’re kids will be fine. Oh, and by the way, on his birthday I’ll be sending in a cake sprinkled with, you guessed it, some sodium cyanide. I’m sure you can all provide a suitable treat for your own children while they stand around next to my child celebrating his birthday.
So, now who wants their kids to go to school with my sodium cyanide thriving child? Oh, and I forgot to mention, outside of fresh produce 90% of other food stuffs in the supermarket either contain sodium cyanide in some form or are made on equipment that also processes sodium cyanide. Happy shopping! And cooking!
Now do you understand?
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This is ridiculous. Truely it does not get your point across. It just makes you seem fanatical.
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I’m a fanatic and I’m not afraid to say it!
I think it gets the point across beautifully.
A child I love more than life itself has life threatening allergies to eggs and nuts; you can bet your [not so] sweet patootie I’m fanatical about it.
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I come from a family rife with allergies.
I am also a teacher.
This issue is not something where you are going to get your point across by threatening others.
Especially when people are not trying to hurt other people’s children.
Education is the answer.
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Oh, really, how is this a threat? Have you never heard of the concept of parables, or analogies, or tales such as fables of various kinds? Are you sure you’re a teacher? (By the way, I have no axe to grind, having been lucky enough to have been spared even mild allergies in my family),
Though the cyanide post may not have been the most skillfully told parable, in whose wildest imaginings could it be construed as “threatening others”? It was merely a device to ask people to imagine themselves in similar position if things were reversed.
Grow up!
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this is a great reply!!!
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How does calling someone’s well written response a piece of garbage pass the dinner party rules?
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In this instance, I would keep my child safe at home and homeschool.
(BTW, I am pro-homeschooling and both of my children have been homeschooled in the past).
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Hello Guest. This is a good analogy when it comes to preparing food in a kitchen and looking at the allergenic food as a poison so you can communicate the danger of cross contamination.
However, I don’t know how easy it is to clean cyanide – and my understanding is that it can be absorbed through the skin. This is where the analogy ends, I reckon. A food protein can be safely removed by using soapy water.
There have been no cases in the scientific journals of a person having anaphylaxis from getting something like peanut butter on the skin. In cases where there has been a reaction, it has been through the person then touching their eyes or mouth. In fact, a study was carried out in the US several years ago where some brave souls with peanut allergy had peanut butter smeared on their skin. While some had local rashes on the area, none had anaphylaxis.
The same people carried out another study where they put a group of people with peanut allergy in an unventilated room strewn with peanuts. They then got them to jump up and down to see if they would react to the allergen. No anaphylaxis. So education needs to be made a bit more clear about the real risks. Those who have died from a food allergy have actually ingested the allergen. Sitting next to a peanut butter sandwich or a cake is not going to harm you unless you actually put it in your mouth. Or someone sneezes it over your lunch (happened to my daughter – went hungry and learnt to close her lunch box and move away from people eating a suspect food. I wouldn’t expect a child up to the age of seven to really have this skill though).
What is really important to remember that not every child reacts to trace amounts and every person’s allergy is different – and you can manage it. The Australasian Society of Clinical Immunology and Allergy (www.allergy.org.au) is the peak professional body for allergists and immunologists and a great site. It has e-training on managing anaphylaxis for anyone caring for a child at risk of anaphylaxis. It has some very practical information on allergy management and shows that it is not difficult and does not put a lot of pressure on teaching staff or the wider community.
1. Minimise the risk in early childcare settings and early primary (up to seven years old with messy eaters). ASCIA does not support blanket bans but says centres and schools may decide – depending on the severity of a child’s food allergy and whether this is supported by the specialist – to request that parents of other children not pack certain foods. For example, if the child has an egg allergy, it’s fine to bring in eggs in baking but perhaps leave the egg sandwiches at home. With a child with milk allergy, perhaps don’t bring in yoghurt (many schools and centres request these stay at home because they are just plain messy), for a child with peanut allergy, perhaps no peanut butter sandwiches. This is because these foods smear easily and young children are messy eaters. However, other parents cannot be expected to remember this and it is just a request. If children do bring in an allergenic food, have them sit away from the child with food allergy and then wash their hands. You will be amazed at how other children are willing to help out their class mates with a food allergy. As kids get older, they should start to remember to wash their hands before and after eating, before coming back in after playing on the playground. If kids have to share pencils, provide pencils for your child (they chew the ends…).
2. No food sharing for your child – this can be instilled from an early age.
3, Teach your child to trade for treats. If lollies or cake are handed out in class, have a treat jar or simply trade them for something else when they come home.
4. Schools have a duty of care to all student – including our children with food allergies; I understand they are under a lot of pressure with so many medical needs (diabetes, epilepsy, asthma). But they are required to have a plan for emergency: recognising a reaction, treating it and calling an ambulance.
5. Teach your child to recognise symptoms and how to speak up.
It is a collaborative approach. As parents with children with food allergies, we are bringing up our kids to become responsible adults. Children have to be able involved with their management from an early age – but it has to be developmentally appropriate. They have to learn to live in a world where other people won’t know they have an allergy. At the same time, they need support – and this includes support from the school. You don’t expect a child to suddenly be able to cross the road on their own – and it is the same with a food allergy.
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I’ll be happy to forgo all birthday cakes. Seriously isn’t the weekend nearest the birthday ok? I never got birthday cake at school and am just fine. Lets let school be school have the birthday out of school hours. My kids need to read write and add more than more cakes.
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I agree – no birthday cakes for that very reason (not because of food allergies).
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I sooo agree and althought I’m an allergy mum it has nothing to do with allergies. We are the second fattest nation in the world, why do our kids have to have multiple cakes at birthday time? With 30 kids in a class, they’re eating cake every week at school, plus more when they have or go to the birthday party on the weekend. I was at school in the 70s/80s – we got cake at our birthday party, that was it. It never occurred to us to bring them to school too, when did this start??
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I have a child with a rare metabolic disorder who can’t eat fat, and is also allergic to dairy egg and nuts.
A store bought cake is as dangerous to my child as a homemade cake. She knows not to eat anything mummy didn’t give her. She will happily have an alternative treat when it’s someone else’s birthday cake time.
However, banning home made cakes means I can’t make a fat free dairy free egg free nut free birthday cake for MY child’s birthday.
Kids need to learn what they can and can’t share and how to stay safe.
A store bought cake HAS allergens!
MUMMY’S cake is SAFE!
Kids with allergies already miss out on so much…. To not be able to have a cake at school or kinder like the other kids do on their birthdays is damn mean.
Either ban all cakes, and Italian day (pizza and gelato) and pancake day, international food day, tuck shops,……
Or otherwise let mum continue to bring a home made cake.
Be consistent.
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Thanks for this Jo. I have a child with multiple life threatening food allergies and can therefore relate to the daily struggle you describe. It’s clear from the comments below that there are some who “get it” and some like “Natasha” below who don’t and will probably never have the capacity to “get it” (unless perhaps they have a child with allergies of their own one day). I had to stop reading the comments because some are just so insensitive and demonstrate little tolerance and compassion. But thank you Jo for putting yourself out there to create awareness and to educate. Philip is lucky to have you as his advocate.
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My 11 year old son has anaphylaxis to peanuts and is mildly allergic to some tree nuts but thankfully, he grew out of his egg allergy early. For the last two years he has been reacting to anything and everything and he has just been diagnosed with ‘Food Dependent Excercise Induced Anaphylaxis’. EIA – is food dependent and occurs whenever our son eats any food and then either goes out in the cold and or excercises within an hour of eating. In short, if he eats and then goes swimming or running or plays a sport he immediately starts having an allergic reaction. We fortunately have not had to use the EpiPen yet because with EIA all he needs to do is stop excercising immediately or moves to a warmer environment and his reaction subsides. This is all good while he is 11years old, and while we and the school are managing his condition but my concern is the same as Jo’s. What happens when he is 18 and is out at a restaurant with his mates without his EpiPen and either eats something with peanuts or ventures out into the cold after a meal. Or, what if he forgets he has just eaten and goes for a casual kick of the football with his mates and collapses without anyone realising what has happened. My heart goes out to Jo and her son and I am very confident that a cure for nut allergies is litterally around the corner, so please never give up. As for the banning of cakes I think it is a good idea for kindergarten, prep ect, but in my experience from about grade 2 and up I think they are capable of self management.
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My boys kinder class is full of allergic kids. Egg, wheat, nuts, mango, sesame. Their policy is no nuts or seasame, eggs to be eaten off to the side and hands washed after, no sharing of food, photos of kids with allergies in each class room and parents of same to provide treats in lieu of shared bday cake. That seems a fair compromise to me.
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What happens in year 7 when a child with a severe allergy starts secondary school? It’s my understanding that there are no food bans once you finish primary school. For me that would be more worrying than the chinese food scenario.
Education is the answer, I wouldn’t trust a nut ban at school, I wouldn’t rely on others to keep my child safe. Instead I would do everything possible to eduate my child.
On the other hand i don’t pack anything with nuts for school, on occasion I have been in a hurry and thrown a muesli bar in ttheir lunch boxes, both kids brought it home, not because we have a ban on nuts at school (we don’t) but because they have been educated on the possible dangers.
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What is so difficult about not having birthday cake at kinder, day care or school? My son’s school has a no birthday cake policy and no shared lunches or snacks. They celebrate the child’s birthday by doing other celebratory things. Save the cake for home….it’s pretty simple.
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Our son is now 4, we found out the hard way he had anaphaylaxis to nuts just before he was 3. Just before Xmas, he had 5 cashew nuts within 2 minutes his eyes were closing over, he was scratching his mouth, he looked like a burns victim & to add to this he also has asthma. While trying to stay calm and not let him see we were distressed on the phone to the ambulance which took 20m minutes(the longest 20 minutes of our lives), we had his 8 month old sister in her cot screaming. We tried to keep him awake as well as give him ventolin. The ambulance arrived, as did his gran(who could not even recognize him), 200 metres down the road they moved him in toa mica unit, gave him 4 shots of adrenaline. Then more when he arrived in emergency. It was a long night for us all but, he got through it. We now have a no nuts policy in our house. We have a plan at his daycare , grans & nana & grandpas should it happen again. He knows when we go to a bakery or shop, he asks” excuse me lady/man but does it have nuts in it.(Which always gets an adoring reaction from both staff & other customers) Nuts can make me very sick. We have just had his RAST tests done again recently & the readings have gone down significantly. Lets hope he grows out of it. However we never go anywhere without an epipen, ventolin & claratyne.
He goes to kinder and has his picture on the wall of what can happen, absolutely frightening but his kinder/daycare are amazing, they are constantly asking for updates & do an amazing job. The sad thing is he is only one of 1/2 a dozen kids on that wall.
While we aren’t OTT, we do worry about what can happen and have taught him he must ask the question before he eats anything. He knows even at 4 that he could end up a very very sick little boy.
Happy to let you know his sister who is now nearly 2 eats EVERYTHING!
Lets hope that all our precious babies grow out of this.
We need to and should appreciate all the things the kinder /daycare/teachers do for these little guys. They are truely amazing people, that don’t get enough recognition.
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My best friend’s son has an egg allergy, so for years all our birthday parties/play times have been egg free. He is also now gluten free. Yes, it is annoying. Yes, it is irritating to have to check every packet whenever he comes over, to have to keep special food in our cupboard for him, to have ro make sure none of us have had anything with egg to eat before we see him. But gosh, it is sure better than the alternative! It’s not that hard, and if it makes these kids life easier let’s go for it.
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I’m a kinder teacher andhave children in my class with peanut,tree nut, egg, dairy, kiwi fruit, watermelon, gluten and avacardo allergy and anaphylaxis. I’m exhausted by the end of lunch time checking all 20 lunch boxes. My biggest fear is having to use an epipen and the trauma that this will inflict not only on the child, myself and all those other children that may witness it. I have to be educated in asthma, epilepsy, autism,eczema and many many many other illnesses and disabilities. I spend all day not only worrying about the childrens physical health but mental health and parents expectations, as sometimes parents forget that in a class room their child is not the only child. If banning certain foods can ease just one of my fears for my day at work then I say yippee.
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Are you seriously a teacher?
That’s a tad concerning…
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Why? Would you like to do it?
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I am not a teacher but I have friends who are teachers and I completely get where you are coming from, Guest. Teachers are also sometimes expected to medicate children as well.. It seems like a lot, considering you are there to educate our children.
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Call me old fashioned, but I thought a teacher’s job was to teach?
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Actually, the thought of giving an epipen is much more traumatic than the reality. Having used it on my daughter, I found it amazingly easy and it worked straight away. Try to get past the “trauma” idea. Epipens work – the child is more traumatised by breathing difficulties than a prick in their leg. Did I mention epipens work? And are surprisingly easy to administer – dont hesitate or think too much, just do it.
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I have mixed feelings about this. It seems over the top but accidents can happen and I nearly caused one myself.
As a teacher, I was taking someone else’s class for an hour, a kindergarten. The teacher asked me to give out the birthday cake that someone had brought in just before recess. It was just luck that the teacher came back into the room as the anaphylactic child was about to be given a piece. He had lined up and I hadn’t remembered.
I do think that the class teacher, who is a very responsible person should have reminded me, but nobody is perfect. There was an aide in the room, for another reason but she didn’t notice. I actually knew about the child as there was a photo and info up in the staff room but I didn’t think about that at the time. I teach every child in the school!
With the best of intentions and protocols in place, things can go wrong.
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I have worked in paediatric allergy for 15 years and have treated and managed 100′s of kids having anaphylaxis. I have had a child with no BP, and fecal incontinence who survived after eating walnut. Fortunately the statistics are low in food allergy deaths. There have been none in my state. I have read every coroner report on childhood anaphylaxis deaths of which there has been less than 5 in my time in the area. These reports are tragic as they have been preventable – no diagnosis, bad asthma , no epipen. While i am all for promoting the dangers of food allergy to the community i am also aware that we need to find a balance between being too complacent and being over the top, i.e. not being part of life due to fear.
Thank you for sharing your story and although myself and my medical colleagues sigh when we hear the word”death” in relation to food allergy i appreciate that this is sometimes the only way to convey the seriousness of food anaphylaxis. Please remember these kids look well and healthy so dont attract funding, and services are struggling to deal with the tsunami of patients that are waiting months/years for diagnosis. Luckily most kids outgrow food allergy but while they still have them it is important to acknowledge that not sending nuts to school is really a small thing but so important to the parent of that child.
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My friends 18mth old child fell & hurt herself requiring stitches at daycare – they didn’t see it happen. The same child was also given dairy by a new worker who didn’t know she had an allergy. Luckily the allergy was not life threatening but it did result in horrendous vomiting for some time afterward. My point is carers can’t be everywhere all the time no matter how hard they try & systems are not 100% effective. This article is talking about “life threatening” allergies. It seems a no brainer to me to remove the risk entirely. Childcare workers & teachers work so hard & have such incredible responsibility already. Any parent knows how easily accidents can happen so why should they have to add this sort of weight to their shoulders. Surely our kids get enough cake they skip this one. It doesn’t mean there can’t be a celebration. Also, if it lets the parents of such highly allergic children breathe easier dropping theirs children off each day for goodness sake give them that!
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I’ve always been accepting and obiding of the ‘no nuts’ rule at my child’s day care, wanting to keep everyone safe, but this post really hit home in terms of just how dangerous shared food between kids can be. I mean, our kids could swap sandwiches and the bread could harm your son?!
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It is my understanding that WA kids who are anaphalactic and are in kindy or pre-primary automatically get a fulltime teacher assistant assigned to them. Are the other states doing this too??
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This sounds like a wondeful idea, have you got more information about WA’s assistance for anaphylactic children?
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I am a WA pre-primary teacher, and this is not the case.
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I have an anaphylactic child in primary school WA. If the child has a formal diagnosis of anaphylaxis they are entitled to several hours per week (not sure exactly how many but its definitely not full time) with an education assistant however this stops after year 2.
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As a parent with a 9 year old son with nut allergy also,I find this article to be quite interesting. I can only agree with Jo that you do worry when out or when at a party, or thoughts of when my son is old enough to be out without me, what type of decisions will he make? But I can also only live in hope that our constant awareness and teachings will continue with him as he grows. I also think that the way we treat his allergy, not as a negative thing on his life, but just as a special part of him and we make our life choices about what we can do with his allergies, not what we can’t do.
Also having a background in anaphylaxis training in schools and kindergarten, I can see the arguments for and against the bans. There is no question that in childcare or kindergarten, the policy should be adjusted each year, depending on the allergens involved, and banning home made cakes is very common and reasonable, and one I support (Think about the teachers and the responsibility they have of 3 and 4 year olds who drop crumbs everwhere, get food all over face/ clothes etc and therefore can’t guarantee the safety of the child with allergies even if they did not consume any). Once they reach school, it is a different conversation. My son has been fully aware from when he was diagnosed at 3, never to share food, never to have anything he doesn’t know where it came from, and his teacher has a lolly treat for him if anyone brings in cakes or chocolate for their birthday. Some days he is not happy about this, but most of the time is not concerned and we make up for it at home with the treats I make.
Awareness is the key to helping everyone stay safe.
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I have a problem with this. It doesn’t matter how young the child is they need to learn that there are some things that other kids can have that they can’t. That is a life lesson they need to learn but also one that kids without allergies need to learn. However you do need to have great teachers around to be supportive of this too. They need to educate the kids that “Johny” can’t have that because it will make him very very sick so he can come and ask us for his own special treat instead. It may be that you provide the school with an alternative that your child can have. For example bake some muffins and wrap them up so they can be safely stored at school for when these things happen.
I understand that it is scary for the child and parents when their children go to school… and suddenly the parent is less in control. However a complete ban doesn’t help to educate anyone. Like I said it isn’t just the kids with allergy who need to be educated but kids without. My son can’t have dairy but I don’t expect everyone around him to not have it. He knows he can’t have it and he has from a very young age. He attended childcare and they were excellent with it.
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I myself manage a childcare centre and comply with the ‘nut- free zone’ mentality though I don’t completely agree with it. I am constantly encountering problems where children are unsure about what they can/can’t eat bc ‘mum always let’s me eat cake at home’ the child is not educated in what they can consume and confused by the fact that their parents have set them up in a bubble – desperately wanting to make sure their child doesn’t feel left out.
I grew up with a life threatening food allergy and my parents continued to serve it at home, reminding me of what was safe for me and what was not.
Making children responsible for their own food intake WILL save their lives when they become adults.
I always say this to parents – You are not just raising children, you are raising people who need to function as adults in society.
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Sorry, but unless you actually have a child with a life threatening allergy I don’t think you can truly understand how frightening it is for the parents. Of course you need to educate children and parents but while they are very young it is much safer remove the allergen where possible. It doesn’t mean that you don’t educate as well.
It’s parents like you who “have a problem with this” that really p*** those of off who have children with life threatening allergies.
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Absolutely agree Claire. I have always trusted my daughter not to take food that I haven’t made. She is allergic to egg wheat dairy nuts peanuts seafood rye barley malt oats with anaphylactic reactions to wheat and diary. Although I know she would not eat anything she shouldn’t, having banned foods REDUCES the risk of an anaphylactic reaction particularly by reducing the crumbs, sticky icing etc which can be left on equipment etc. In my perfect world, all the food she is allergic to would be banned but I know that that is obviously not realistic and so measures like banning some food to reduce the risk is the next best thing.
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I have a child with no food allergies (thus far/touch wood) and I absolutely support this policy – better to be safe than sorry. I was visiting my gp a few weeks ago and I was talking to a mum who had just discovered yet another food her daughter was allergic to. I really felt for her, she had two girls – one with no allergies whatsoever and the other with multiple allergies. It is hard to understand why there are increasing numbers of kids with allergies and it must be terrifying to live with the possibility of your child going into anaphylactic shock. Surely we can come up with a way not involving cake or food to acknowledge and celebrate a child’s birthday.
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MummaD,
from an allergy-Mum: Thank you. x
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Wow there are some really….silly… people commenting on here.
Can someone please point out the bit where Jo said she wouldn’t be educating her son about keeping himself safe?
Or the bit where she says she expects everyone for the rest of time to change what they’re doing in every way to accommodate for her allergic son?
For classrooms that have a child with an allergy that could KILL them, banning food that contains those foods is not a big deal. Your kid will not die because they can’t take in a cake to school on their birthday. Jo’s kid might die if you do. Why is this a problem for you?!?!
Some people need to grow up and realise that this is not something that needs arguing over, it’s not a hardship in any way, shape or form.
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An 18 year old who with allergies cannot make a wise decision what to eat in a Chinese Restaurant ? I blame the parents .
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Natasha, I have a 17 year old son with peanut allergy. He was diagnosed at about 18 months. He has been educated in caring for himself and he is cautious about what he eats. However I live in fear of him having a life threatening reaction because:
1. He is a teenager. He doesn’t like to be different or stand out too much. I worry that at a Chinese restaurant (or any restaurant) he may not insist that everyone at the table abstain from ordering dishes with peanuts in them. this is a high risk situation because of possible cross contamination.
2. He has a girlfriend. I worry that she may forget about his allergy and eat a peanut product and then kiss him.
3. I worry that other people won’t take his allergy seriously and not exercise caution when he asks about peanut ingredients in food he is being offered.
4. As he is getting closer to 18 I worry about what ill happen once alcohol is involved. Will he still make good decisions?
Of course we talk about these situations all the time. He doesn’t let his allergy interfere with his life too much and I try not to obsess over it. It’s hard, though. Just because he is almost an adult doesn’t mean that I cease to care or worry about him.
Oh, and back to the Chinese restaurant … last year my son had a reaction (thankfully a mild one) when he was accidentally splashed with a drop of satay sauce in our local Chinese restaurant.
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Blaming isn’t helpful.
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I think it’s important to take some middle ground on this. I don’t know about bans. Certainly, there should be steps to maintain egg/nut-free environments around young children who are allergic. As they get older, and how careful you have to be about cross-contamination, seems to vary according to different sources.
I like the recently released Wiggles song “Peanut Butter”. They mention that not everyone can eat peanut butter, that you should “ask before you share the sandwiches”, and that everyone can still have a fun song and dance about peanut butter, even if they can’t eat it.
My baby boy recently had a positive skin prick test for egg, so I have spent the last 6 months having to read all ingredients lists – and not just for egg, but any word with the ‘ovo-’ prefix, and probably best to avoid any ‘lecithin’ too. As a baby, this is OK, because he only has breastmilk, rusks, fruit and veg. But if an approaching ‘egg challenge’ shows that he has not grown out of it (some do, some don’t), life could get a lot harder as we try to introduce more solids. Does that bread roll have an egg glaze on it? Was that icing made with Milo, that has lecithin in it (which some say is a problem, and some say isn’t)? Were there biscuit crumbs (containing egg) on the bench while someone cooked that ‘egg free’ cake? It’s definitely a bigger problem than just avoiding straight eggs! I’m very thankful that my son has not reacted to the egg exposure via my diet and breastmilk, so maybe he’s not *too* allergic, and I hope I don’t have to face this nightmare scenario of anaphylaxis. But it’s enough to show me why parents who do have severely allergic children worry so much. It’s so complicated to completely avoid exposure, and the stakes are so high. We’re talking about children’s lives being at the mercy, sometimes, of a few molecules of food proteins that someone didn’t adequately clean up. I, for one, would never accuse parents of a severely allergic child of over-reacting!
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My daughter (3) is super dooper anaphylactic allergic to egg. It’s a nightmare, so much more than not having a googy egg for breaky. Sausages rolls, pies, bread (some not much), mayonnaise, rissoles, meatballs, pasta etc etc. even a sandwich bar is a risk. Basically means very little options of eating out.
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The way I see it, it’s not going to kill my son to wait until he gets home to enjoy his birthday cake. It might even help towards teaching him consideration and empathy for others.
If my child had allergies I would hope others would do what they could to minimise the risks. It’s not a big ask.
It’s all well and good to say that parents should just teach their kids what to avoid. It only takes one time for a child to make a mistake or feel sick of being different for them to eat what they shouldn’t. No harm done if we support other parents in this small sacrifice not to bring a home made cake.
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If only all people were as sensible and thoughtful as you are. I can’t believe there are still parents of non allergic children who find it annoying or an overreaction to be asked not to bring nut based products to school.
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In fairness, there seem to be plenty of parents of kids with life threatening allergies who have a different point of view based on the comments. And I don’t see anyone saying its annoying- just that these kids have to grow up to be adults who deal with their condition, so perhaps education is a better plan than elimination.
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No, there are parents out there who find it annoying that their children can’t eat certain foods between 9 and 3 and sneak them into their children’s lunchboxes.
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Well my kids school recently banned cakes from home altogether as it was getting out of hand (the sheer number of cakes, and amount of time out of the class to eat them etc). I don’t have a problem with this.
Until then though, I was worried because I knew that in my kids classes there were some kids with egg allergies, and I worried about the kids being left out. I was helpfully informed by the teacher this wasn’t a problem though as the childs Mum had provided a bunch of cupcakes that were kept in the freezer for the child for days like that, and the child would get to enjoy a cake along with everyone else.
I think making all the kids live as though they have allergies is a bit over the top. The appropriate safe guards should be in place where the kids aren’t unnecessarily exposed, but I don’t really want my kids eating store bought cakes with their long lists of preservatives! I’d much prefer them eating home made ones! I think the child with allergies should certainly be catered for, and the other kids can then also eat the similar foods (like cupcakes etc).
I grew up in a family where I had a sibling with a peanut allergy (they couldn’t eat them or they would have an anaphylactic reaction). My favourite food growing up was peanut butter sandwiches. We lived in a small house together and somehow my parents managed without banning products from the house. For a while my sibling was also kept off dairy (they were asthmatic and dairy seemed to make them much more prone to an attack). Again – we had plenty of dairy in the house, my sibling just didn’t have any. I remember the dairy free ice cream my mother made for my sibling – it was delicious and my other sibling and I were always trying to wheedle some out of Mum! It was time consuming to make though, so it was a rare treat, and usually only my allergic sister was the one that got to eat it!
There are ways to live with allergies where all of the other kids don’t need to live as though they have allergies too. Allergies are serious and should not be underestimated, but blanket bans on everything all the time are over the top, and simpler precautions would usually suffice.
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Sorry – articles like this I find do not help. My 11-year-old daughter has anaphylaxis to peanuts, and has outgrown egg and soy allergy. She is extremely sensitive to even small traces, but with education and support, she lives a very normal life. Kids bring cakes to school, there are shared lunches and even the dreaded peanut butter sandwich is consumed. She navigates these situations by bringing her own food for shared lunch (and a plate to share with others), if cakes are brought into school we work with the teacher for advance notice (and I have always been told well in advance by the parents themselves), and if someone eats a peanut butter sandwich, my daughter moves away.
We have taught her from a young age not to eat food brought in by others and now she reads and checks labels – still with the back-up of an adult. All this is training to be able to look after herself as a teenager and adult. The fact she has had accidental exposures and been sick also helps keep her vigilant.
Rather than banning – educate! If parents bring in cakes to school, educate the school to let you know in advance so you can pack an alternative. If you are going to ban cakes – do it as a means of minimising the obesity epidemic rather than blaming allergies.
Anxiety is a huge element for many families living with life-threatening food allergies. But when you get access to factual information and education that enables you to teach your child to live with it, then we won’t have to read about “how your cake could kill my child”. I am a food allergy advocate and I find that these sorts of articles where you scare people and blame them have the opposite effect.
Our kids with allergies need to learn how to look after themselves – and hopefully we can get the wider community on side rather accusing them of putting our children in danger.
I am involved with Allergy and Anaphylaxis Australia, which provides practical information and they are certainly not advocates of banning.
Jo, as for your comment: “How bad would you feel if a cake you’d sent in killed my son? Who would you blame?” First of all, if a parent sent in a cake, I would hope that the teacher would have notice and let me know so I could provide an alternative. Second, every state has anaphylaxis guidelines of some sort to deal with this. Third and most important, a nine-year-old is old enough to know not to eat a cake someone else has brought in. Even a three-year-old is capable of being taught not to eat food except that from certain trusted adults. This is where you should be teaching your child from the word go about managing his allergies. So who would I blame if a cake was sent in and something bad happened? Certainly not the parent who sent the cake in.
Most parents with children with food allergies want their kids to have a normal life and don’t want to put other parents out. We really appreciate it when others do go out of their way to provide something appropriate – I can’t tell you how much it means. And I prefer that people do that because they choose to, not because of a threat.
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Yes because teachers don’t have enough to do, now they have chase up parents who may or may not be planning to bring in a cake and then call the parents of a student with allergies?? That’s a little extreme and rather unworkable IMO. As for 3-year-olds knowing to only eat food from a trusted adult…you’ve never been to a primary school at lunch time have you?! It’s a constant battle to remind kids not to share food, not to buy each other things from the canteen etc.
As Jo clearly stated, it’s a holistic approach to keeping kids safe. There’s no one solution, rather a combination of safe-guards such as bans, medication, personal responsibility and education. There’s no problem here, kids don’t care if people don’t bring in a cake for their birthday, they only care if they miss out…
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In my haste to write, I guess I didn’t really clarify. Most parents with kids with food allergies don’t want to put people (or teachers) out – so we usually provide a treat box for our kids. So if another parent brings in a cake, your kid can get something from the treat box.
It is in cases of shared lunches that we would want advance notice.
And yes, it is an eye-opener watching primary school kids eat. That is why I had to teach my daughter to keep her lunch box closed while she was eating (food flying into it) and to move out of spit-zone.
Kids can learn. The school is responsible to keep a child safe, but by the same token, the parents need to teach the child skills to keep them safe.
And if you ban foods – where do you stop? What do you do when you have kids with wheat allergy, milk allergy, egg, sesame, soy, fish? You can’t ban them all – and each one can be severe.
I did not get from Jo’s article that this was taking a holistic approach. What I took from it was that everyone else has to take responsibility to stop her child from dying – which I find a disturbing way to educate.
And I think you will find that most kids who have food allergies learn from a very early age – even younger than three – not to eat food except from a trusted adult. It’s the same with kids who avoid food for religious reasons.
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So well said Penina! The heading of this article is not helpful at all and simply dramatic. In a nut shell common sense and be informed prevail even in case of emergency.
I have a grandson who’s born with allergies not just to most food, and also to what he touches including clothing material, skin lotions, scents, etc etc. It’s been a 24/7 for the first 3 years or so and my daughter-in-law doesn’t even say anything to this degree. We have experienced more than our fair share of extreme scary instances, yet we still count our blessings to a happy child.
He’s 5 now and growing up to be a robust and cheeky boy, and ‘healthy’ with allergic reactions! He has large group of ‘normal’ friends and he goes to most birthday parties, gatherings without any issues to him and to the other parents. I’m not saying it’s easy at all, but we have to be mindful and give due considerations to other healthy kids’ need as well. When our grandson was about 2, he knew when and how to say NO to food which would make him ill. That’s largely due to his parent’s education and him being matured. Of course he would chuck his tantrums when he saw his older brother having some treats!
That said, I sincerely hope that parents who have kids allergic to whatever keep soldier on. Don’t wrap them in cotton wool, be vigilant and educate them and to people around them. I wish you all well
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My niece has has severe anaphylaxis and a range of other allergies – I agree with everything you’ve said here! So much more helpful to educate people than make statements like “How bad would you feel if a cake you’d sent in killed my son? ”
I’ve noticed that kids with allergies (who know to refuse all food of unknown origin) seem much more mature and sensible than most kids …
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Sorry Penina. You are mistaken!
We should all accomdate. Period. Mistakes happen. Children die. Not good.
Also, how is a teacher supposed to tell just by looking at a cake that it was made by appropriately?
Id rather be safe than sorry.
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Yes, i absolutely hear y on this, but what about my 6yo friend with ADHD and ASD? W have taught him since he started solids that he can,t share food, but we still have to keep an eagle eye on him because he is unpredictable and easy to persuade. I agree with a lot of what y say, but allergies and ASD/ADHD do tend to go together, and that does put a different perspective on things.
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How can any mother on here have ago at Jo suggesting she is not allowing him to be independent!
Do you serioulsy think he is not aware
? Do you serioulsy think she is NOT educating him?
As far as I am concerned, JO should continue to educate us non allergic families to ensure we keep thier children safe.
I will not hesitate to cater for any allergies at my sons birthday parties.
If it was my child, I would certainly hope people would cater for him.
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If only everyone had your attitude- thank you from a mother with a child with life threatening food allergies.
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Thankfully, my son doesn’t have any food allergies- so far, but I have no qualms following his schools food restrictions. No egg, no nuts, no kiwi fruit. My husband thinks it’s silly, but if my son was allergic, I would want other parents to be as considerate.
So I happily make his lunch without the foods I used to have at school; salad and mayo sandwiches, kiwi fruit with a spoon, and musli bars. He can have all of this at home.
As for blanket bans at school- I’m all for it. Kids just want to fit in and will eat the same food as their friends, regardless of the risks and the warnings of their parents.
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I too am an allergy mum so I totally understand. Two points that I wanted to add. The first is that while X’s mum says the cake she baked is nut free she may be forgetting that the Nutella she used in the icing has nuts in it. Unless you are used to checking labels it’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve had my parents slip up many times and they know my boys and know about the allergies. I still have to check and double check home cooked food on a regular basis.
The other thing I wanted to point out is that we all teach our allergy kids about what they can and can’t eat. It is a huge responsibility for them esp when they are young. Plus there are so many variables from packaging changing, companies altering ingredients, and with home cooked food people not understanding what’s involved. Primary school is about learning and growing ready for the responsibilities of high school. So I fully support it remain a safe zone for all students while they are still developing the maturity to deal with such serious responsibilities.
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All the best to you, it is so so scary when your child has allergies that can be life threatening.
My son had asthma at just 2 years old, but after seeing an allergist he educated me about the strong link between gluten and dairy and asthma/excema. We took out these foods and the asthma went to virtually nothing.
He also said that the wheat of today is something like 80% more gluten than it was for our grandparents. Don’t even get me started on cow’s milk.
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The heading of Jo’s article was OTT, but other than that, I’m on board. We’re lucky in this family to have no worse allergies than hayfever and eczema, but it’s no skin off my nose to bake a cake/cupcakes without egg and dairy, and send along the list of ingredients. I’m a little saddened to see so many commenters put their child’s right to eat their cake WITH egg ahead of the safety of an allergic child, but then as someone who was vegan for many years I’m still baffled at the lengths people will go to to defend their gastronomic experiences.
I do agree that there can be a middle ground – if there are no children with peanut allergies in an entire school, then a ban seems unnecessary. But, bearing in mind that a child who eats peanuts in the morning, then gives an allergic child a cuddle at lunchtime, could set of a reaction in that child, having bans on a classroom basis would still present some risk.
Another common comment here is that Jo’s child should be able to manage his own allergy, and that her worries about managing as an adult are unfounded. Unfortunately, even the most sensible child has lapses. And given the huge increases in the prevalence of severe allergy in recent years, there will be a whole cohort of severely allergic children reaching adulthood soon – for a large number of parents, and for the community more broadly, this is uncharted territory. I think a little mindfulness and consideration of others won’t go astray, and hopefully with so many children being in this situation, awareness and support will be more readily available.
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I’m just wondering what happens with kids who have allergies get to high school and have to do food subjects? It must be a daunting task for teachers to manage different foods that some kids are allergic to.
I don’t have children yet and my nieces and nephews don’t have allergies so I don’t have a lot of knowledge on the subject but is there any theories as to why so many kids have allergies now? I’m a child of the 80′s and I don’t remember allergies ever being an issue.
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The definitive cause of the extreme rise in food allergies isn’t yet known, it is thought to be environmental. There are many theories, my sons immunologist believes that it is due to the enormous increase in chemicals in our modern western diet and household items. She also said that if allergies continue to rise at such significant rates it is likely in the future that it will become more uncommon not to have an allergy.
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Having a daughter in daycare, it feels like she’s the odd one out with no allergies now!
Surely a home-made cake with the ingredients listed is better than a Woolies cake, speaking of chemicals where they don’t need to be?
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Kris, while I totally agree that a homemade cake would be better for the kids, the problem lies in relying on the parent to accurately list each ingredient. I do not mean to imply that people do not have good intentions but unless you are dealing with an anaphylactic child on a daily basis it can be hard to understand what might cause a reaction and the degree of detail that needs to be supplied.
For instance if you are using chocolate sprinkles on top of a cake I would need to know what brand they are and have access to the packaging to know if they are safe for my son.
I’m not saying homemade cakes should be banned (my son aways had a different treat that I provided to the school at the beginning of the year.) However, as a former teacher I can totally understand the blanket ban because of the difficulty of ensuring that all parents comply with and understand the need for accurate recording of ingredients.
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Agree it’s not that simple Lisa 66. If only it were! For example, there can be food which don’t sound like milk, but actually contain dairy. Also, other ingredients might be for example derived from wheat but a (fortunate) parent not having to deal with reading labels, will not be aware of such dangers.
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In which case you’re not going to be able to police it from Woolies or a bakery, and provide your own stuff anyway, right?
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What if cakes were made from an approved book/list of recipes? Obviously those with severe allergies may need to still bring their own cakes in case something is made in the same kitchen but it could be one way to address the issue? I also am bothered about the increase in allergies and preservatives. I myself have angioedema in my lower face (cause unknown) so have to carry an epipen.
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But you know, Woolies can’t guarantee everything either. Risk is part of life – if I make a cake in good faith and supply a list of ingredients, I’m not going to put stuff I’ve been told not to into it.
It’s micromanaging everyone and I think it’s OTT. If kids have allergies, and their parents don’t trust others, it sounds like the go is to supply your own. I’m down with that. But not BANNING ALL THE THINGS. Especially when it’s policed and strict anyway, and in reality there aren’t vast numbers of kids with these allergies. It’s still a minority.
I actually discovered last year that all sprinkles have to be nut free and safe, too.
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Thanks for your reply Liza. What you said definitely makes sense, maybe we need to get back to basics and stop using so many chemicals and processed foods.
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When I was at high school, a class in the food tech room were cooking something with peanuts in it and a girl who was in the classroom ABOVE had an anaphylactic reaction to it. After that the school implemented a no peanuts policy which no one ever had a problem with.
I’m fortunate enough not to have any life-threatening allergies, just food intolerances, eczema, and asthma (which is serious and life threatening but I’ve been able to manage mine with only a few serious attacks).
My immunologist and numerous health professionals I’ve seen mostly attribute the rise of allergies to the huge increase in the amount of chemicals we’re exposed to nowadays. Our immune systems simply cannot cope with the onslaught. People with allergies are the canaries everyone else would do well to pay attention to….
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great article thankyou
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