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Six years ago I landed my first Nanny job with a fantastic family.
On the first day, I waited at the designated pick-up area for Bella and Seb, an overzealous 15 minutes early. Eventually they emerged, I took their bags and bingo – I was their favourite Nanny already.
We arrived home and it was homework time for the kids while I fixed some afternoon tea.
“What would you like?” I asked.
Bella chimed up immediately and jumped on the spot. “Chippies, chippies!”
I frowned. “Chips?! Yuck, they’re bad for you!”
Bella: “But they’re so yummy, please, please, please, puuhh-lleeaassee.”
I shook my head. “Sorry!”
There was no way I was going to pump grease, fat and chemicals down this little girl’s throat.
“Seb, what would you like for afternoon tea?” (note: Bella was still jumping up and down, wailing.)
Seb just shrugged his shoulders.
Walking to the pantry, Bella offered some compromise: “What if I have an apple… and then some cookies?”
I shook my head again, sympathetically.
I opened the pantry doors, only to be struck by a rainbow mural. A mural of brightly coloured chip packets, chocolates, lollies, shapes… you name it, it was there.
My goodness it was a pretty sight – well done to the junk food marketing teams of this world – success!
“But our old Nanny always let us have chippies,” Bella retorted.
As I scrounged around for something green, anything unpackaged – I explained to Bella that while I’m not her old Nanny, all that junk food is bad for you.
“But why?” she whinged.
“Because it will make you feel yucky. It won’t give you any energy or help you grow up strong.”
“Why?”… and so I explained for the next hour or so (with great evidence) the necessity of eating healthily to a 9 year old.
When their mum Sarah came home that night, the first thing the kids said was, “We ate fruit for afternoon tea, not chips!”
Sarah looked at me amazed… and clearly pleased. “Fantastic!” she said.
As I looked at her somewhat apologetically, I wondered how to approach the delicate issue of her junk infested pantry. “I’m a bit of a health nut, sorry!”
She had a stern look on her face – it could go either way.
“Brilliant. You can teach the kids all about it. and if you want to do an overhaul of the pantry please do so – I’m too busy. Just let me know what money you need for shopping each week and you can buy them what you like.”
Just like that, I had been awarded the prestigious job of giving both the pantry and her kids, a healthy make-over.
It took me around 6 weeks to get Bella eating healthily without protest. Seb – well he was a piece of cake – pardon the unhealthy pun.
With the kids’ help, we went on weekly shopping expeditions to the local fruit and veg market. Together, we chose the foods they wanted to eat and they helped to create their own healthy snacks and school lunches.
The pantry was rid of anything with fizz, sugar, grease or any other tooth/organ rotting properties.
Now that the kids are 13 and 16, they both eat healthily without second thoughts.
In hindsight, was it my place to go and rearrange Sarah’s pantry for her?
Was I unknowingly seeking vengeance on two innocent kids for my mother’s stern “no junk food” policy growing up? Was I subconsciously wanting Bella and Seb to feel the anguish of their fellow playground mates refusing to swap an apple with a ‘Rollup’?
No – I think I was just being responsible.
I wonder if there are many other ‘pantry police’ in this world. I’ll leave you to ponder that one – I’m off to get an apple.
Steph Wakefield has got a long bucket list. At 24, she is the founder and owner of My Super Nanny, a free online service for parents to find child care.
How would you feel if someone told you – or your kids – what you could and couldn’t eat?
Comments
137 Comments so far
My aunt gives her kids a ‘treat’ that is actually quite deceiving and clever. She mashes up steamed vegies (usually left over from the night before) and mixes in some tomato paste. Then spread onto pita bread, top with chicken or ham, sprinkle with cheese then put in the oven until cheese is melted and pita is crispy. Voila! Pizza for dinner with the usual meat and three veg! Can’t taste the vegies and it’s pretty yummy and relatively healthy.
I was raised that we had to at least try everything that was put in front of us. I am quite grateful for that now because I now have quite an extensive pallate (although no matter how hard she tried, Mum could never get me to eat peas, yuck!). I intend to raise my kids in a similar fashion, should I ever have any!
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Reminds me of when a nanny nearly fell over when she heard me tell my six year old (very skinny) son. “You can have more broccoli AFTER you finish your chips”. He still prefers sushi over Macca’s, pears over a finger bun.
He brotehr – well he’ll eat anything, anything at all, and lots of it.
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I think it’s important to remember that children generally are born with clean slates so it’s easy to mould them into healthy eaters (with the exception of medical reasons etc).
My rule is there’s no junk food at home or in school lunches. They also only drink plain milk and water. That way when we’re out and about on the weekend and they get an ice-block or a juice it really is a treat. We’re not complete strict about it. We let them have some treats when watching a dvd on the weekend and there’s always the birthday parties.
I still try to avoid artificial flavours, colours and preservatives. We usually stick to lemonade soft drink and ice blocks and plain chips etc
In the school holidays I’m also more relaxed and usually have some packets of natural confectionary lollies and a tub of ice-cream in the house.
I don’t freak out if family members give them junk. I let them enjoy it. I think it’s exciting for them to be given a packet of snakes from their grandparents every now and then and they really do appreciate it and jump and down with excitement. It’s not an expectation.
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This reminded me of the Babysitter’s Club book where Dawn babysits the chubby kid who was on a diet from his parents. I always loved that book.
That’s all.
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Its really sad that mum is too busy to care what her kids eat or be bothered to make sure that their old nanny made them eat properly and be involved with their meals. So they are very lucky that they have a nanny like you in their lives.
Kids will only get away with what their parents and carers allow. All my friends whose kids are fussy eaters have been made fussy because its been catered to. Little Johnnie wont eat vegetables so they’re never served to him. Of course he’ll never learn to eat them if mum only cooks him pasta and nuggets.
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Treats are what you make them – my 4yo thinks apple juice mixed with mineral water is a “special drink” and fresh pineapple is a serious treat!
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LOL Anna, that reminds me of a time I was at the shops with my daughter who was about 3 at the time. She was overtired, I still had more shopping to do, and then she fell and grazed her knee and just fell to pieces. After a bit of a cuddle, I said to her “OK, let’s go and get you a nice treat when we finish shopping. What would you like?” and she sniffled a bit,looked up at me and said “I’d like a shiny, red apple.”
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When I was a kid my special treat for dessert was Weet bix. I thought it was the greatest thing ever. I had an intolerance to food colouring so never had a great deal of experience with most lollies so didn’t know any different.
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thanks everyone for your help and responses! much apprecdiated
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Both of my nephews eat next to nothing. My poor sister from ate extra healthy during her pregancy and while breast feeding (she’s a healthy eater anyway). When they started on solids it was all veges and fruit nothing processed. But once they hit a certain age 1ish I think both of them stopped eating. They are just over a year apart so u can imagine the stress of getting two little boys to eat ANYTHING! After stressing and trying all sorts of things she seems to have found a compromise. The boys eat a healthy breakfast, one will eat his lunch and then she just tries to give them snacks and a small dinner. She has accepted that she is trying her best and is just continuing to try.
they are extremely healthy kids tho. Good skin tone, never get sick and tons and tons of energy! I’m really proud of her because I can’t even imagine how hard it must be every day to have that battle! On an interesting little side note…..my little nieghbor came over to play with my dog the other day and I offered him a drink and he said straight up “yes please but I’m not allowed coke because it’s unhealthy. I’m allowed water and sometimes a small cup of lemonade or juice.” lol I sorta stood there in shock! I was so impressed! When I told his mum later she was so pleased to know her boy was not only polite but listened to her as well!
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Agree!!! I have the exact same issue and really feel for you. My 3.5 yo son’s dad ate nothing but milo sandwiches, milk and weetbix until age 10 and he is an intelligent, healthy, athletic 37 yo. We mums put a great deal of pressure on ourselves and especially each other. I wish just one other mum from mothers group would be honest rather than posit about their child’s eating and sleeping perfection. One tip that helped our son (ever so slightly!) increase his range of foods was to introduce an electric toothbrush, something about texture! Good luck to everyone. We are all just doing our best
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mmm, milo sandwiches …
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i would have thought this basic stuff would have been discussed a bit with the mum when you first took on the job. ie what time school finished, routine after school, including food, tv, homework etc. I can imagine though it would be something you would have to tread lightly on to approach, and sound like this mum was very responsive. I am hoping to model healthy eating to my kids and differentiate between everyday and sometimes foods…..so hope it all falls into place!
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I get to jump up on my soapbox about food regularly at work. Usually it’s either why starting your 3-4 month old on solids is probably not a good idea, or fussiness in toddlers and preschoolers. If mums say they have a question about food fussiness, I sometimes get a little chill. It can be notoriously difficult to deal with. We offer a short course called “fun not fuss with food” to help with these problems
I don’t mind giving my kids junk food, as long as it’s only occasional. They eat well the rest of the time. My kids call the lolly aisle in the supermarket “the hall of torture”.
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so whats the secret with 7 month olds……. refuses to eat anything except pear. Have repeately offered variety of vegetables on numerous occasions, but as soon as a vegie goes in, face screwed up and no swallowiing! have tried different consistency and different vegies. I am now adding pear in and trying to reduce amount of pear each time…..not sure if i have done a disservice to myself by introduicing pear? I dont want to be fronting up with a toddler who only eats pear!! He was exc breastfed until 6 months. Hubby and i both eat heaps of vegies……
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Hi daisy123, we did Baby Led Weaning & never had any issues, our daughter now eats absolutely anything: olives, brussel sprouts…. plus, we never fed her puree or mashed food so we could always find something to give her when out & about. Good luck!
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I used to feed my daughter tuna mixed with pear because she loved pear so much too! Don’t worry, pear is very healthy, it’s great that your baby eats it, and I’m sure he or she will be enjoying other foods soon enough. I found melting cheese on everything worked quite well, it seems to make everything yummy, and both my kids have loved plain yoghurt mixed with all sorts of things. Maybe try pear and yoghurt or pear and ricotta cheese, pear and banana, pear and porridge.
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daisy123,
Congrats on exc breastfed until 6 months!!
I have this vision of your 18 year old child only eating pear
I breastfed till 6 months exclusively & then she was not interested in anything so I just kept going….
Pears will be out of season in a few months, so I am sure your baby will be on to something else then
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Your baby is only little, just keep at it. I did the same, mixing pear with other foods until cutting it out completely. Luckily pumpkin and sweet potato are also sweet. My 2.5-year-old now has stirfrys regularly and her favourite meal is scrambles eggs with spinach, peas and beans straight from the tin.
Just keep introducing again and again and again… And when your child is old enough, don’t make individual meals. An otherwise healthy child has never died of starvation, someone once told me.
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Hey, everyone’s done it for me! Yay. Seriously.
I would have said pretty much the same things as DKmum and rabbitsal.
Just keep trying with new food (at least 10 times cos it can take that long for babies to get used to it). If they still don’t like it, take it off the menu for about a month, then retry.
If they don’t like a lot of other puréed foods, offer fruit and veggies in finger food sized pieces (separately at first), using the same principles as above.
If she doesn’t like much yet, don’t panic,she’s still getting lots of nutrients from the breastmilk. However don’t increase milk feeds to make up for the lack of food, she needs to be a bit hungry to want to eat. If she’s still not eating much at all by a year, maybe then see your GP or child health clinic.
For next baby, try veggies first if you can. Some babies will eat anything, but some love their sweet flavours so much, it can be very hard to get them to accept anything not sweet. Some veggies like pumpkin and carrot are a bit sweeter and are good ones to try first for your baby.
Good luck with it.
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thanks everyone for your responses and hlep! much apprecaited!
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Thanks for sharing your experience, Steph. Good on you!
I babysit for a family with two kids – one toddler and one in upper primary school – each week. I’ve been babysitting them for a while now but I’ve barely seen them eat a vegetable and most of their meals are just carbohydrates- which to me, seems lacking in variety and nutrients…
In nine months I’ve only ever seen them eat pasta (with melted cheese) OR crumbed chicken and chips (often the freezer or takeaway variety). And ok, once they had thai takeaway. Maybe it’s just that the mum wants to prepare something quick and easy when they’re going out (and I’m coming over) but I’m not convinced.. she is a full-time mum and I imagine has sufficient time to prepare meals etc but I get the impression that cooking isn’t really her thing.
The rest of their pantry is ok but not great: there are plenty of junky snacks and treats but they also have some healthier food too.
Something else that niggles at me is that the older child has a diet similar to that of the toddler. To me, their diets seem unsophisticated but more importantly, really lacking in a variety of vitamins and nutrients which they need at both of their ages.
I really care about the kids and I want them to eat more healthily. I’ve been thinking about offering to cook for the kids when I’m over but I’m still not entirely sure if this is just a weekend/babysitting night thing or, whether it’s my place to offer in the first place..
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If you babysat my kids you would think they ate nothing but chicken nuggets. And they do, the twice-ish a year they are sat!
It’s easy, they LOVE them, I know they will eat them and not have a blood sugar induced crash for the babysitter, and I can whack them in the oven while I’m getting ready and not have to cut things when I’m trying to get my hair up properly for a formal do.
But the rest of the time for dinner it’s meat and three or four veg.
I would probably question their diets if it’s happening once a week, that’s quite regular for high trans-fats foods.
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Go You! My parents were health nuts and I took an apple to school every day for recess as a child and a sandwich for lunch. We had lemonade only if we were sick and biscuits were only for when we had visitors! While not quite as strict, my children were brought up similarly. They took an apple to school for morning tea from day one. At one stage I did discover that my son was swapping his home baked bread for Danone desserts! Who knew the bread would be in demand. I read someone below say they insist on fruit being eaten before a treat. It’s not a treat if you eat it every day. When I lived in the U.S for a while 15 years ago, I saw people driving to work drinking giant cokes for breakfast and was horrified. Now I regularly see Australian kids eating chips etc before school and what they have in their lunchboxes continue to astound me. What people think are healthy foods are often full of additives and unnecessarily packaged. These are also expensive. My kids always got to try the roll ups etc as each product hit the playground so they would never feel as though they were missing out. Now adults, one will choose an apple over ice cream any day. Not so his siblings. I want to tell people what to eat but I never would,
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For what’s it worth, to the poor mothers who are trying desperately to get their kids to eat..I have a friend whose husband eats nothing but garlic bread, hot chips and potato gems. Yes that is IT! No fruits. No veggies. No protein. Nothing else. For breakfast he has toast. Then it’s oven fries and garlic bread. He has been like this since he was little!
And nutrition wise he is as fit as a fiddle!
So please try not to worry, you are already doing an awesome job, and kids are bloody hard work! So try not to be too hard on yourself when they don’t eat.
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We always had a nanny when we were children. Over the years (there was 3 of us) we had two different nannies, along with various other people during our usual nannies holidays/time off.
For us, the nanny was responsible for everything, including all meals. Lucky, both our main nannies were big on nutrition and healthy eating. Both myself and my brother have a lot of food intolerance and allergies(personally I can’t eat nuts, soy, wheat, barley, coconut, malt, skim milk…. The list goes on. However we would have all our meals and snacks the same as everyone else, with obvious modifications where necessary. When we were teenagers we could have a little more say (usually a playful debate between siblings) By this stage though, we all ate healthy anyway so we rarely asked for junk food especially not for meals.
As for my parents, they wouldn’t have known what we were eating as that wasn’t something they looked after. Lucky we had people who taught us the difference between sometime and always foods. As adults now, we all eat healthy with only the occasional treat.
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I’m a nanny and I have an afternoon tea rule: fruit first, then a treat. As much as I’d love to enforce a “no junk food” stance, I don’t think it’d look too crash hot when the boys see me sneakily eating a Kit Kat while I cook them dinner
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If you eat it every day it isn’t a treat!
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I only look after them two afternoons a week…. but I wish I had that approach to treats in my own diet! I am so guilty of treating myself every day!
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My mum was a massive pantry police! We always ate healthily, but we were allowed treats sometimes. In the school holidays, my sister and I were allowed one box of cocoa pops OR fruit loops. If we ate them all in the first two days, that was it.
My pop used to cut up a Violet rumble bar for us to split, but we could only have it once we had eaten a piece of fruit.
I never really thought about how healthily we ate (apart from when I would sometimes swap my apple or mandarin with some kid who only had chips and chocolate and actually WANTED something healthy) until I moved away to uni.
People had such warped ideas about food (a whole packet of fish finger constitutes a healthy dose of Omega-3, a potato salad drowning in creamy sauce is still ‘salad,’ or you must have pasta with every meal) that I was shocked; I knew more than I thought!
I am so glad I was raised to know the difference between ‘always’ and ‘sometimes’ foods, and I actually feel really sorry for the poor kids who are being stuffed with unhealthy foods and thinking it’s normal. It’s not a good template for the rest of their lives.
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I always remember at about 20 years of age talking to a friend of mine (of the same age) about how she was on a diet to lose some weight… but when I questioned why she was then eating chicken nuggets and wedges for lunch she said they were healthy because they were “just potato and chicken”.
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I know an obese lady who decided to try and lose weight. For morning tea at work she always ate cakes every day. She decided no more cakes. From then on it was only going to be muffins!
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My kids got coco pops etc for their breakast on birthdays and then until the packet ran out! The others had them too of course!It was very exciting for them, I can remember my mother buying froot loops for me once. They were such a disappointment..i couldn’t even finish the bowl!
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I used to get coco pops for my birthday. I still have them every birthday ( I’m in my 30s) or else I just don’t get that birthday feeling!
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Oh Sara, that is so cute! It doesn’t feel like birthday without cocoa pops! Haha, my food upbringing still impacts me too. If I eat some chocolate or other junk, I will still think to myself “have I had my piece of fruit?” or “how many vegies have I had today?”
It’s crazy how these things just stick!
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My 5 year old tried Fruit Loops for her birthday as a treat (brekky is normally multi grain toast, Weetbix or oats). She was soooooo looking forward to eating them but only had a couple of mouthfuls – didn’t appeal.
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We got a variety pack of those individual serves of cereal when we went on a holiday. Coco Pops and Froot Loops went first, and by the last day we were arguing over the Rice Bubbles and WeetBix!
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So true.! They were very exciting! A lot of people reading this would think we are all weird but it has obviously struck a chord with some people. It’s great that such simple things kept us all so happy!
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Our kids are the same, school holidays they are allowed to choose 1 small box of cereal . I can remember running up to the checkout with the box of Nutrigrain all excited telling the lady behind the counter she was allowed to have some “rubbish cereal” cause it was holidays
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We just had this conversation with our 5 and 6 year old this morning about coco pops. My 5 year old just went camping with hubby and another friend and dad this weekend and he came home telling us that he had had coco pops. My daughter didn’t know what this was so I explained what it was including how yummy they were but also sugary so its like having a piece of cake for breakfast. I told them we’d buy a box next school holidays.
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Funny – I have done some stints as a Nanny and had full range over what the kids ate. I was shocked by the amount of food in the pantry and kept trying to use those things in the pantry for meals. But the mother every weekend would go shopping and re (over) stock the pantry. I swear it was her way of ‘nesting’.
Did my head in because she would double up on stupid stuff. 3 jars of Vegemite. multiple packets of the same cereal. All reasonably nutritious stuff but just so much!
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My last boss was like that. She couldn’t be at home because she was busy being a Business Owner so she bought SO MUCH FOOD! Again, good stuff, but just SO MUCH! No Joke, her grocery bill would have worked out to about half my full time salary!
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good on you Steph.
It is unfortunate that their mother was too time poor and subject to pester power to do the job herself.
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As Stephs dad you should know that neither she (nor her sister)Find parental authority or age as a barrier to the good food message.They have both more than once sorted out my dinner plate before it gets to me! x
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sounds like my Dad and me!
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Can you please come to my place & overhaul my pantry? I’d love it!!!! A great excuse to buy more Tupperware!!! lol
My two are 11 months apart and I suffered PND with both & had undiagnosed anxiety. My kids ate anything that they didn’t throw back at me. I am not a great cook, I am certainly better now & only became better and more confident as I have an amazing friend who showed me some simple dishes.
About 3 years ago I was sick of cooking two meals so made the decision they ate what we do. Duh! I hear you say, but the anxiety fog makes it hard. So after a couple of weeks of tears, tantrums & begging (from their father as well!) they now eat just about anything & everything we give them. They know not to make hideous sounds of disgust or to say ‘I don’t like it!’ before they try it. It’s become so ingrained that when their friends come over & do that, they jump in & admonish them! It’s really quite funny.
I don’t agree with the hard line of never giving kids sweets or chips etc. You don’t want your kid to be the only one at the food table at a party, over indulging in chips & lollies, while the other kids are playing games etc. There has to be a balance.
Reading some of the comments below, I am still amazed at how much women STILL persist in harshly judging other women. Take a breath and consider other possibilities. Why is it such a bad thing for this lady to have a nanny? Does it mean she loves her children less? Or are we really annoyed she has chosen a career over her kids? Why do we not judge men this harshly?
Oh & by the way, some frozen foods, especially veges & fruit, are just as good for you & in fact, I understand from Choice, can be better!
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Was agreeing with your post until I came to the sentence “Are we really annoyed she has chosen a career over her kids?”. Just because a mother works, or has a nanny, does NOT mean she has chosen her career over kids. You are judging harshly while suggesting others shouldn’t.
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Juicy J, I actually wasn’t judging this lady at all, I was wondering if that was one of the underlying reasons that some of the below comments about the mother were unkind.
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But it IS a judgment to say that a working mother with a nanny has chosen career over her children!
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Julie isn’t doing that though. She’s mentioned it because others have.
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Ah yes the tears and tantrums! I 100% hear what you’re saying – the effort, struggle and fights you would have endured with your kids when changing their eating habits – is hard work! Further more, you have to remain strong for these few weeks and stand your ground. That is an effort in itself. As a Nanny, I was around a few days a week, after school and I didn’t have a biological vested interest in making sure they didn’t argue with me. I could walk away from the tantrums, however as a mother or father – this is a lot harder. How can you sit down happily to a game of scrabble when you’ve just deprived them of a chocolate bar??! It’s a little bit like ripping off a band aid – no one wants to be the ripper, however everyone reaps the rewards once it’s ripped.
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My oldest loved veggies when most kids don’t, but hated meat. We used to find bits of meat stashed about the place (heater duct, behind loo, under tv cabinet) until we started checking her mouth and insisting on tiny mouthfuls not over chewed. We also cooked some vegetarian meals too. She used to ask “have we had this, did we like it?” so often I started getting inventive with the answers. Meanwhile her brother would be choking down.
No 3 is a bit of a walking vacuum, but no 4 will just about try any trick to get out of finishing meals, at 8. The offer of “treats” will often result in her not being full anymore. Interesting that.
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My MIL is a real pleaser (and she is genuinely lovely too, just to be fair) but my husband and I clashed badly once we were married over… food. And why? Because MIL just want’s her family to be happy, so after she decided she couldn’t win the ‘eat your veggies’ debate she gave them only food they wanted… oh yay… so now we have a situation where my 1 year old eats a wider variety of fruit and vegetables than her aunts and uncles.
And I agree with the comments about having balance which includes some ‘junk’. Until I met DH he couldn’t remember ever having had Coke, which I introduced to him and then he drank like a man in the desert. So my plan is to feed my family widely on a range of food, including some stuff in a package. I think you can easily get into a rut with whatever food you eat if you’re not careful
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So they could eat what they wanted but couldn’t drink coke? Why limits on drinks but not food?
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Noooo idea. For some reason they drink cordial (syrup, not fizzy) and not water, but juice and fizzy soft drinks are EVIL… I love my husband dearly, but find his family supremely confusing when it comes to the world of food… Seriously, if I go bald it’ll be over the food thing! I think that there’s a lot of “nutrition according to Today Tonight” (dietetic panic perhaps) going on there …
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While it’s great to encourage eating fruit and vegetables and exploring a wide variety of foods, I think that telling someone they can’t eat ANY chips/treats is just going to make them all the more tempting. Nothing wrong with having a treat once in a while.
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I agree! My son has to eat fruit and vegies every day, but I also let him have a bit of chocolate, maybe a biscuit, even the occasional cheeseburger if I’m feeling really naughty. I was raised on a strict “No Junk Food” diet, but I am a little more lax with my lot.
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FANTASTIC! Exactly as it should be, I used to be a nanny too and would get the kids involved in cooking, making and buying food, my kids now do the same as well. It’s a sure fire way to get them to eat well, there are no bad foods, just sometimes food.
As someone who can cook there is nothing worse than opening the pantry of familys who can’t to find no spices, fresh veg or anything similar to cook with.. all Frozen, prepackaged YUCK! Good on you!
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My parents rule was that if we wanted a ‘treat’ we had to make it. So if we wanted cookies or cake or chips for dinner, they weren’t coming out of a packet. We had to make them from scratch. We only had treats 2-3 times a week. These days it seems like even “healthy” kids (and adults) expect treats 2-3 times a day, and after a while those treats don’t feel like treats anymore, so something else is added.
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This is a great idea.
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Yes all for telling each that it’s good to eat healthy and being the nanny it’s easy to take over. Its great to instill healthy eatting habits.
it’s very easy to get into a debate about food, healthy, balanced diet. I would say we are balanced lots of ‘good’ food and a treats during the day. Schools are fantastic theses days banning junk. My son comes home telling me off for putting a muffin – its just a muffin ‘but it’s chocolate grr’ oh oh sorry mate.
My son doesn’t eat a lot he never has, he can’t eat a lot of dairy upsets his belly and basically a vegetarian. I would say he makes really good food choices considering but my in laws like to disagree with me!
So visiting my in laws is a night mare, as they tell me I’m basically raising them too fussy! So is it wrong that my older son at 7 just doesn’t like the taste of meat? this now makes me a bad mother. I should MAKE him eat it!! While we where there If they didn’t eat ALL of the massive bowl of food she was telling them they were really ungrateful and should not of had any snacks in between lunch and tea?! which in general my kids eat every 2 hours, I’m the same I really don’t like big meals. So the nasty judgement comments I don’t like, and think they do a great job I personally I want them think about what they are eating, we prepare food together, help me cook, shopping (sometimes) and tell me when they’re full. Knowing there is nothing else if you can’t eat it. Most of the time they eat it all and then we have desert mixed healthy/ junk. I just dont want treats to be ‘banned’ as they seem to ask more for them. And usually if they can’t eat it they don’t want anything after that.
One morning I came out to find my mother in law was force feeding into my son – yep its great for you but he was like 6 at the time and he was happy to try it. She was saying “well he asked for it he is finishing it!” I couldn’t grab that bowl off her quick enough and the fight continues that I’m just too easy on them. I’m not too sure I’m suppose to shove food down their throats. So as soon as we got in for the last visit I was ‘warned’ there will no wasting food in this house’ oh goodness so fun to visit!!!
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The choccie muffin thing is over the top. I had that once too – yep, it was a chocolate muffin. Homemade with love, from my point of view, but clearly not good enough for the food police.
I am wary of this “good food vs bad food” thing. I prefer Dr Kausman’s idea of everyday foods and sometimes foods. Or foods that are full of nutrition vs foods that have little else to offer but a mouth-feel buzz.
I posted further down about fussy eating. But I want to clarify I NEVER EVER force feed *shudder*, and make allowances for genuine “repulsions”. I still remember what its like to feel I’d vomit if I had to eat avocado. Its common sense though. And getting the feel for when they’re just being silly and fussy or are genuinely distressed.
I’m sure you’re a great mum.
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In general no food is “bad”. Everything should be in moderation. If you have McDonalds once in a while, it’s not that terrible. If you have it daily, then it’s a problem.
If everyone ate things in moderation, it wouldn’t be a problem.
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Force feeding is so wrong and I also really hate feeling obliged to finish off your plate which both my mother and MiL pressure us to do (they are overweight but haven’t managed to put the two together, doh!). There is no way I am bringing up my son to approach food that way.
It sounds like you are fighting an uphill battle with your MiL so don’t take her criticisms to heart (easier said than done). I wonder if there is a support group for mothers with judgey MiLs
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Good on you Nanny, I think you did the right thing 1000 times over! Processed and packaged food is a big no-no for young kids (well for any age – even us adults!) and if the parents don’t take control – who will teach the next gen healthy food habits? I don’t mind giving my daughter the odd bit of cake, but the majority of the time it’s home-made so I can control what goes into it. If kids are fussy, bit of imagination is all it takes! Pouring home-made chunky vegetable soup over pasta as the “sauce” is a favourite in my house at the moment. Easy for S.A.H Mum’s like me to cook home-made fresh meals/snacks, so I agree, it’s hard if your a working parent/time pressed and not have alot of time for home cooking, but simply reading labels on products and making smarter choices in the aisles at Coles is not hard!!!
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I think you did the right thing in trying it first and then telling the mother. She could have said no I want them to eat chips etc and im sure it would have been left at that. No one can get angry when suggesting a healthy diet. Whether they take it or leave it is up to them though.
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Im astounded at the mothers attitude of being to busy to care what her kids eat. As a mum no matter how busy you are or how demanding your job surely you should have a say and care about what your kids are eating and doing even if you are not making the snacks and meals for them you should still have an input and ideals.
Im just shocked a mum can just be to busy and not care
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I don’t know if I would say that the mum didn’t care. Sometimes you turn around and realise you’re in a place that you never meant to be in (like where you find that you’re relying on processed foods). She was thrilled that someone could take charge. Please – be gentle.
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Very true! At this point in time their mother was extremely busy and quite exhausted. You’re spot on, the was thrilled that I could take charge. The mother has a heart of gold – she certainly wasn’t objecting to the pantry overhaul – I think for her it was dealing with the mini tantrums Bella threw the initial few weeks when swapping from chips to healthy food that was the trouble! This way, the mother was allowed to carry on the new plan I’d implemented… which meant double the support for her and less stress.
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That’s so true. I am a food nazi but when I had a fussy toddler and a 4 year old and horrendous all day “morning sickness”, I am afraid my children had more than their fair share of chicken nuggets. When I had recovered enough to cook properly again, I had created a taste for things I wish they had never had. I never meant to end up there but it just happened
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Well I guess if you need a nanny it says it all? Doesnt it? They pretty much look after the kids day and night, tell me if I’m wrong.
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You’re wrong.
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Oh good just have no idea how much a nanny does anf the imput and decision they make. I just assumed they do everything! Im sure it’s just a perception from movies I guess lol! I wasnt judging I just didn’t know.
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Think you might be being a little judgey mcjudgerson there.
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I dont actually think the nanny part is a bad thing at all, people work long hours and make different choices in life in regards to raising their children and I would never judge them on that.
I do however have issue with the mother being too busy to have input into what her children were eating. Of course Im going on what the author said the mother said and if thats true I stand by my opinion that it makes me so sad that she was to busy to have a say in what her children ate.
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Plenty of people have a part time rather then full time nanny. Tis one sounds more like an after school nanny. And as for all night – the kids were awake to tell mum about afternoon tea when she came home. I think you are wrong.
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Yep yep makes sense
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You’re not actually entirely wrong. For various families, it’s different. As children, our nanny lived in our house. Our parents were hardly there, often going away for periods. If we had a problem at 3am, we went to our nanny as that was what was expected of us. Even if our parents were there.
When our nanny had time off, we had a replacement who would come and stay. If we went on holidays even with our parents, the nanny would come along.
So for us, our nanny did everything for us. It’s very dependent on the family and the situation.
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Well good to hear an answer thank you, everyone’s pretty happy to hit the like button on ‘your wrong’ like sorry! I’m just a country girl who’s never lived in the city, it would be handy but to me it sounds unaffordable. I have not known a single family who has had a nanny, even well off friends and family. Just never had a single conversation with anyone about this.
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It’s different for ever family. I knew other families growing up that had nannies only part time, only during the week or only on holidays ect. It’s very dependent on the family and the situation. For us, our nanny made most of the daily decisions for us as children. It was only “big” decisions that our parents had much input.
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It is very dependent on the family, their situation and needs. We knew people growing up that only had a nanny part time, sometimes only during the day or only on weekends. Generally if the nanny lives with you, they tend to do more with the kids.
For us, our nanny did everything. She lived with us so she took us everywhere, did all our meals, basically everything. They most most of our daily decisions, with our parents deciding bigger things.
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Shocked at the mum….the mum’s job yada yada yada ……..not one mention of daddy!
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The general wisdom of eating healthy and moving a lot is brilliant and I fully support it……..passing this advice on to children is also commendable and their schools should also be educating them about food and where it comes from – how it gets to their plates…………please be mindful though of those people who have become obese through illness and pain and medication – they’re not overeating or eating “junk”, but they’re unable to burn off what they’re consuming – these people do not need your advice…….they don’t require you to point out that they need to lose weight (they already battle it’s debilitating effects every painful day), or your scorn (or condescension) if they consume a chip in your presence at a party………but educating children or teenagers in the benefits of eating healthy – wonderful…….as for adults – wait until you’re asked…lol.
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I understand how you could think that it may not have been your place, but at the end of the day the most important thing is the kids’ wellbeing. So I think you were doing a good thing and the fact that the mother was fine with it confirms it
I do think that it is possible to be ‘too busy’ for everything. My parents are awesome but have always been really overworked. We had a nanny growing up too. Both my sister and I were really skinny kids and quite fussy eaters and to my mum the most important thing was really that we ate something. Nanny was a lot stricter with healthy eating and she did a great job.
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My bug bear is not so much junk food but people who let their kids away with being fussy. To me, letting your kids away with only ever eating say, grapes, vegemite sarnies, apple juice and pasta is just as bad. Many foods are an acquired taste, but if we let kids give up at the first “Yeuck” then how will they ever develop their food “vocab”?
I expect my kids to eat whatever I cook. They don’t have to like it, but they do have to try it (and that doesn’t mean I won’t serve it up on another night) and they’re not allowed to whinge. If they choose to leave it there are no alternative options. Hunger is a great appetite-enhancer. I praise my kids when they are open to trying new flavours and foods and try to involve them in cooking and creating. I let them see how much I genuinely enjoy broccoli or salmon or curry or whatever. I love and appreciate food, and expect them to as well, you bet.
OK, rant over
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hmmm I think this is a bit harsh. Some kids, particularly those on the ASD spectrum have real issues with sensory aspects of food, which can result in pretty extreme fussiness. In my opinion they shouldn’t be left to go hungry, or forced to eat something that is truly distressing to them. Some kids, like my DD, who weighs just 10kgs at age 3, really need to eat and yes, she is fussy, but as long as she eats something healthy I don’t really mind if she has cheese and avocado toasties 5 days out of 7. I can’t let her go hungry as she is already failing to thrive. On the advice our our dietician, we offer her whatever we are eating and give lots of praise etc if she tries it but if she doesn’t like it then she gets a serving of food that she will eat…a healthy balanced meal, but repetitive all the same. I don’t think it’s a case of me “letting her get away with being fussy” as “making sure she grows and, you know, lives”.
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I agree, you cant blanket the whole they need to eat what you make or be hungry theory on all children. Although in theory I do agree with it for healthy and not underweight children or children with no medical issues.
I have an underweight 6 year old who was extremely underweight as a baby and toddler due to being born premmie and she was extremely fussy with her eating and the textures of foods. We had her paediatritian and the nutritionist telling us it was ok to add butter and cream to her foods to boost calories which went against everything I thought was healthy eating.
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However, sometimes, just sometimes, your kids can be stubborn buggers. Really stubborn buggers. My second daughter is one. I already have an older daughter who eats well so I’m going to say with confidence that I know what to do regarding food. But my first smug successful venture has left me flat on my face with my second child.
She is the one who will only eat a handful of things and that’s it. No sauces, vegetables or protein.
She is provided lunches at preschool and didn’t eat a thing there for two weeks before the teacher then asked me to pack her a sandwich. Not because my daughter was hungry but because her attitude deteriorated so much that by lunchtime Miss S would stop co-operating with anyone.
We have had fights, crying, screaming, silence, timing, bribery but nothing works.
She once held a piece of pasta in her mouth for 45 minutes because she didn’t want to eat it. Her Dad took her to the shop and back and it was still in her mouth. Another night it was a piece of fish – fish! for 40 minutes before I scraped it out of her mouth.
I bought a Dora house and it’s sitting in sight at the table. If she gets 5 stars for eating her dinner a week she gets a piece of that house. She gets to eat her way into a two story Dora house with furniture. She doesn’t eat her dinner. Doesn’t get a star. Doesn’t give a shit.
Last night I told her she wasn’t getting any other food apart from her dinner and if she didn’t eat it she could go to bed. She said I’ll go to bed, gave everyone a kiss goodnight and went upstairs. It’s not the first time that has happened.
Today we start again. She is three and a half.
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Oh man! Some kids have their torture skills down pat, don’t they! Such wilful creatures! My daughter, also 3.5, is a bit like this. I just keep singing in my head: “she’s going to be clever, and independent and something and something when she grows up”. You sound like a brilliant, caring mum!
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Yes – I keep trying to comfort myself with those exact words! But underneath it I must admit I’m scared she could be the next Hitler!!!
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Oh!!! You made me laugh super loud then! Let’s workshop some positive role models of people they could grow up to be like! What do you say? Hmmmmmm … Margaret Thatcher?
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Great idea!! Oh it’s good to be able to laugh about it and to know they’re are other women tearing their hair out!!
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Oh god do I hear you loud and clear! Your story sounds so much like mine! First son – no problems – then along came my daughter…….Aghhhhh! I will never judge anyone ever again – the battles we have had to try and get her to eat healthily. As well as huge stubborness and refusal to eat healthy foods – she goes absolutely crazy around treats and obsesses continually about food eg binges at parties etc I consulted a dietician who recommended we encourage a high protein diet as well as a “non-plussed” attitude when she refuses to eat fruit and veg. We now just have plenty of fruit and veg available for her to help herself to (sometimes – she does!) According to her some people can’t handle carbohydrates – causing cravings and binges. I have to say that her advice has worked a little. She’s still the most strong willed little beast I’ve ever met – but she doesn’t seem to be obsessing so much about junk food since we’ve upped the protein. Hope this might help
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Just a thought….Sounds exactly like the gorgeous daughter of a friend of mine..definitely check out if she has any sensory issues as this was the case with my friend….this way you can find out if she is actually just fussy or has some other thing going on!! Good luck!!!
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oh my, you really have your work cut out for you but it sounds like you are doing a great job – maybe you deserve the dora house! all you can do is put the food in front of them…well done on your persistence!
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I could have written this post almost exactly. First child, brilliant eater, tries everything so when he says he doesn’t like something I believe him and know he’s at least given it a go. Second and third children…hopeless. And yes, I have given them a variety of food from when they first started solids, and no, I don’t give in a prepare individual meals of things I know they will eat.
My daughter is now 5 and is only just starting to improve a little but she had many, many nights of going to bed without a bite of dinner which didn’t bother her one jot. My youngest is 3 and he might as well not ever show up at the dinner table. Every night I put a little on his plate and every night he happily sits with us and won’t eat a bite. I’ve tried force feeding and I’ve tried all the bribes but he’s just the same as his big sister and JUST WON’T EAT IT.
Thank God I got one good eater out of three.
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InKL i feel so bad for you because i imagine as a mum all you want is to nourish and take care of your kids (im not a mum so, not speaking from experience). It’s so hard having to give ultimatums over something that is a necessity. I say that because my niece has had lice/nits several times and i try and bargain with her to comb them out but because she has a very low pain threshold its a difficult process. Much like yours with the Dora house.
My nephew is also three and a half also and he doesn’t eat much. Lives on milk, tinned spagetti and sandwiches and absolutely loves cakes, loves them!
I don’t remember my nieces being overly fussy so hopefully he will grow out of it. All the best with your daughter.
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Miss 3 suddenly became fussy with feeding herself dinner, and became Queen of Stalling. It took me a few nights to work out what privelege I could take away to ensure she ate. TV time was it. They get 30 mins of Tv time right before dinner. If dinner is not eaten in a reasonable time frame, the dessert goes and there is no Tv time the following night. Followed this through, and she only spent 1 night away from the tv ( she had to play in her room, while her brothers got tv time) and BANG, no more miss fussy.
I simply cannot stand fussy eaters. It’s such a 1st world problem. There are too many millions of children around the world, living in poverty, who would give anything for these lovely foods each day. Our kids need to be reminded how lucky they are!
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Wow, it has been really good for me to read your post. I often have people telling me they have fussy children but nothing I have ever heard compares to my first son….. until now. He is also 3.5, but this problem is not new, it started with breast refusal, then bottles (up to 12 hours refusing milk as a 4 month old), now we are getting somewhere but majorly lacking in that he wont eat any vegetables and barely any meat. Limited to 3 different fruits but he loves breakfast cereal – yay!
My second and third sons are brilliant little eaters….. it is so wonderful to have proof that I am not a terrible mother/chef!
I am pretty sure my eldest has a sensory integration disorder and am just starting to look into it.
Oh and 5 nights out of 7 he goes to bed not having had a single bite of dinner (and nothing afterwards either!). He just doesn’t seem hungry. He is absolutely full of energy though, I think he lives on love alone
Good luck!
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Hi Lovey – I really feel for you – this sounds incredibly frustrating. I do have some training around these issues, so maybe I can share?
Fighting, crying, screaming etc ain’t gonna cut it and has turned your meal times into a truly horrible experience for all (not judging, totally understand the frustration). I’m guessing this all started around 2, when your child learned to say no?
I think you are on the right track with “encouragement”, though having to do the right thing for five nights running is unachievable – if she just tries something – one spoon on one night, she gets a star – this is achievable. Perhaps after two nights, with two stars, she gets a reward (pop the dora house away for a bit). Start small. If she does not want to eat, don’t exclude her – a simple, never mind, maybe tomorrow and of course no star – that is all.
I would really recommend that you try to access a triple P course in your local area – you can turn this around, honestly, your just stuck in a pattern of behaviour that is really hard to break out of – sometimes, just a bit of outside help and trying some different strategies from a different perspective can help.
Good luck, I really do understand your frustration!
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I have a nearly 5 year old who is quite similar. I cook one meal for the family (of 4), and if she doesn’t eat it, it’s nothing til breakfast. Tried getting her to eat dinner for breakfast (if no attempt was made – didn’t really work. She was looking forward to telling her best friend she had dinner for breakfast). Got so frustrated last week that I tried to force her to eat one mouthful of a salmon pattie (drowning in tomoto sauce) only to have her vomit. On top of this she is confirmed as having a dairy intolerance – and will barely touch protein! Where to go from here is the next question. It’s tough – hang in there!!
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One of my close friends has a daughter like this. She will happily starve rather than eat something she doesn’t like.
I hate to tell you this but she’s almost 12 and she’s not much better now than she was at 2! My friend has tried everything; rewards, threats, trips to the doctor, growing their own vegies, involving her in cooking but she refuses to swallow a single piece of fruit or vegetable.
She eats an incredibly limited range of foods, (mostly carbs and cheese) but she’s slim, fit, healthy and smart. Her sister eats everything….
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Agree!!! I have the exact same issue and really feel for you. My 3.5 yo son’s dad ate nothing but milo sandwiches, milk and weetbix until age 10 and he is an intelligent, healthy, athletic 37 yo. We mums put a great deal of pressure on ourselves and especially each other. I wish just one other mum from mothers group would be honest rather than posit about their child’s eating and sleeping perfection. One tip that helped our son (ever so slightly!) increase his range of foods was to introduce an electric toothbrush, something about texture! Good luck to everyone. We are all just doing our best
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Milo sandwiches?? I have never tried that…. But the milo-addict in me thinks they sound delicious!
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Sounds like us. I still vividly remember arguments with my brother to get him to eat his dinner. I was (and still am) a great eater – try anything, like most things. My brother used to make Mum count the peas into his mashed potato (he would supervise) and he would have no more.
She credits bananas, cereal, chops and mashed potato for keeping him alive. I actually thought we were boring eaters, but turned out we were comparatively adventurous – even he’d eat stuff like satay when we went to Malaysia!
Mum also got a great laugh when he rang asking for hints to get his kids to eat because they were so fussy. He’s good now, but he had to really work on getting himself to eat more stuff, and it was because he got right into triathlons and realised he needed to eat better than he did. He’s always been a healthy bugger though, so there’s hope!
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Clearly there are exceptions, such as intolerances, etc, but I’m with KMR. I can barely stop my eyes from rolling when Mums tell me about cooking up 1, 2, sometimes 3 different meals a night for various members of the family. Dear Lord, we have enough to do! My 6yo has to try everything once, from the one meal I make each night, and there’s very little that he genuinely, genuinely dislikes (tried mushrooms around 6 times, still hates the texture). And that’s fair enough too – I hate broccoli and cauliflower. Lucky kid!
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Oh yeah, there are definitely exceptions. Sorry for those who are struggling with tricky circumstances. I am talking about my own 2 – no allergies or anything, just the usual tendencies to whine. I know some people have real struggles to bear of which I am undoubtedly ignorant.
The kind of thing I’m talking about is I look at my MIL. One son (my husband) had to eat up. He appreciates whatever I make. Second son (the baby) was indulged like you wouldn’t believe. No reason, just his mother thinks the son shines out his butt. Now he’s an adult, he’ll scorn what everyone else is eating at their Mum’s and go out later for Maccas. Needing to be the special one still? I don’t know. But to me, that is just sad and rude on so many levels. For one thing, if I was his Mum I would be so offended I might just chuck my lovingly homemade apple pie at him…but this is the creature of her own making. Yep, I’m harsh I know, but I make no apologies when it comes to this sort of thing.
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When I was a kid and I wouldn’t eat my dinner, my mum put it in the fridge and offered it up for breakfast. If I wasn’t hungry enough to eat it then, it would show up again at lunch and dinner. Next day, breakfast again. That’s as far as I ever made it, and by the time I finally gave in and ate, whatever it was tasted bloody fantastic.
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Love this. Fussy eating is such a 1st world problem. Kids need to be reminded how lucky they are to have such lovely foods to eat.
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Lots of support in the room today ladies. Respect.
And even though I have quite a few hours to go until wine o’clock I shall toast you now. And probably again later
Cheers!
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Stealing this idea!
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It was most certainly your place to not let them indulge in junk food when they were under your care!! Good for you. And how stocking the pantry with healthier snacks is harder and takes more time than junk food is beyond me. The mother seems lazy and not willing to put either thought or effort into her kids’ diets.
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And the father?
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I constantly have fruit in the house and the kids will happily eat it, but I don’t deny them the odd treat either. My youngest has a small pack of chips in her lunch box with her banana and apple – all get eaten. Home time snacks consist of toast, a sanga or some cereal..The thing is, my daughter plays a competitive sport, runs around and is in the school Human Powered vehicle Team. Her level of activity gives her the freedom to have the odd treat. I don’t push either extreme on my kids, just a balance of both and encourage activity.
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What is a Human Powered Vehicle Team…?!
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Good on you. I have worked as a nanny for years and you do whatever you can to do the best for the children. And the parents usually appreciate it
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Good on you. “Too busy” is a rubbish excuse for rubbish food.
I saw a cute statement on facebook yesterday
“Obesity does not run in family. The problem is that no-one runs in family.”
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Renee, I don’t think that is a cute statement at all. I think it is a judgemental, stereotyping, body shaming, statement.
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Agreed Sammie. Some people who are considered “obese” by society actually eat as well as thin people and exercise too.
To assume that someone is “overweight” because they are too lazy to go for a run is just plain naiive.
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I am pretty confident that a vast majority of regular runners aren’t obese…
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Growing up Mum only ever let us have junk food as a treat and even then it was only things that had no msg, artificial colours or flavours etc. It made me appreciate them when we were allowed to have them, but I didn’t miss them too much otherwise.
There were definitely times it frustrated me, like after parties at friends places where I might have chicken flavoured chips (notorious for msg) or coco pops, but I am so grateful for the healthy approach to food.
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Welcome to my world as a stepmother! When I met my boyfriend and started staying over at his house it was junk-food city for him and his daughter (then 7 years old). Bit by bit I talked to him about the treats in the house and the junk food in the lunchbox and it has slowly disappeared. Now I live there and it’s pretty well non-existent. She’s now 9 and has a much better diet. I wonder sometimes if I come across as a bit of a food nazi, but I do believe it’s better for all of us. My own children are grown up and they say I was pretty tough with the no-junk-food policy when they were younger, but now they respect it and feel grateful that I instilled a love of healthy food in them.
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Oh Lisa if it was only that easy. I have 3 obese step sons. Partly due to genetics, mostly due to the crap their mother feeds them. I try to instill a sense of fun and reason into them, offering better choices, but we don’t have them enough for it to make even a small dent
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I feel really sad that a mother that was aware her children had a terrible diet chose to be ‘too busy’ to do anything about it. Its not rocket science, its not time consuming. Good on you for saying that on your watch the kids would not eat junk.
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You are awesome. I firmly believe that anyone who claims their kids “just won’t eat fruit or vegetables” simply isn’t trying hard enough.
Make sure kids get a variety of tastes from a young age, give them a say in choosing meals (“shall we have broccoli or peas tonight?”) and keep trying. My 16 month old doesn’t really like salad, but he will eat steamed carrots and broccoli for breakfast lunch and dinner. He also love to pick up peas one by one and eat them.
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Their tastes evolve too I’ve noticed. The peas thing is good for their fine motor skills
My son hated peas as a baby, loved them for ages about 18 months and now almost 3 won’t eat them. However he loves baby spinach leaves salad so I try to look at the big picture 
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I think that’s something mentioned in that “raising childred the french way” book (sorry, terrible memory, 9 months pregnant and brain is currently mush!)
The idea suggested is that you keep trying different flavours with kids and re introduce foods they may not like at different times as their tastes change… I know mine changed a lot when I was little and I certainly went through phases.
It’s a tough job, and I guess we have just got to keep trying, but not turn it into a battle of power or strength and power between parent and child?
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Agree. I hated, hated, HATED pesto when I was a kid. Now in my 20s, I can’t get enough of the stuff!
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I really dislike sweeping judgements such as this. Especially if you have one child who is only 16 months old. At 16 months old my son would eat anything put in front of him, the food refusal only kicked at about 2 1/2. Having 3 children, I can see they have very different tastes that have changed as they got older. You are not the only one making statements like this but I get so annoyed when people think because their child does something that every child will do or should do the same thing. Some children have very easy-going personalities and some have very challenging ones.
I think the author did a great thing for those kids and good on her for sticking to her guns. You didn’t overstep the mark as you were given the go ahead by the Mum, it’s just such a shame the Mum didn’t do it herself.
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Sounds to me like you’re judging her for only having one young kid whereas you’re an expert for having 3. I think her point was that even though the kid doesn’t like Healthy Food A, he likes Healthy Food B so you can still feed kids healthy foods when they don’t like other types.
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Hear, hear, Anon!
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I am trying hard enough!!! My son doesn’t eat any vegetables at all…… I serve them up every single night. I have tried lots of tactics, had lots of advice (dietitions, nutritionists, peadeatrician, GP, Mach nurses and of course other parents)…. this has been an ongoing problem since birth (food/milk refusal, obviously I didn’t shove a carrot in his mouth the second he popped out).
I think there may be something else going on with him and am starting to get my head around pursuing it.
But I reiterate – I am trying hard enough!!
p.s. my second and third sons both eat very well.
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@Anon, I also have a seven year old who is a great eater (and cook!) but I didn’t mention it because I didn’t realise this was a mothering competition.
I was just pointing out that kids eat what you model and what you expect of them. I sat down to lamb tagine and quinoa with my kids last night, and a chickpea and chicken curry tonight and both of them (16 months and seven years) hoovered it down.
We have introduced them to different flavours and textures since they started on solids, and we have a strong focus on enjoying a range of foods together as a family.
“Some children have very easy-going personalities and some have very challenging ones.”
@Anon – sounds to me like you are making excuses because your kids are fussy eaters. I am just offering some suggestions.
Fussy eaters aren’t born, they are created. Excluding kids with genuine behavioural issues like ASD etc, you shouldn’t be having to make multiple meals for your kids. I occasionally have to do beans on toast for the kids when a meal is a bit too spicy or is something very new and a bit challenging for them, but in a vast majority of cases, they eat what they are given.
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Sorry trixie, but I’m with anon and odd socks on this one. It’s fine to offer up ideas, suggestions, solutions and opinions and also to share your own experiences with everyone, but to say flat out that a parent who’s child won’t eat a particular food “simply isn’t trying hard enough” is unfair. I too have always offered my children different tastes and textures, but both of them went through a VERY difficult fussy stage (the eldest is thankfully finally over it and the youngest is going through it right now) – so to be told I’m not trying hard enough is upsetting and hurtful. It’s funny that you say ‘I didn’t realise this was a mothering competition’ – but it feels to me like you are the one treating it like that – by telling other mums they’re not trying hard enough or they’re making excuses for their fussy children. Perhaps a child who is fussy is just very stubborn or independent – all children are different and have different personalities…
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As a (formerly) fussy eater I would have to disagree with “made not born” statement. I am one of 4 kids and we were all raised the same. I am the only one that was difficult to feed, my siblings ate pretty much anything and I can tell you that my parents made NO allowances for fussy eating. I had to eat what was on my plate (had the leftover dinner served up for breakfast thing too) and I think being made to eat stuff is what contributed hugely to my eating issues later in life.There was a good variety of food offered, lots of different flavours etc but it didn’t make any difference. It was only when I was in my late teens that my tastebuds seemed to change. I would love you to tell them they didn’t try hard enough…
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KDot’s current favourite is peas and corn. I put little stacks on the table in front of her and she LOVES picking them up and eating them. She also did a spoon on her own for the first time tonight with mash – having seen her go, I suspect she may have been doing it at kindy though!
I try her with different stuff for dinner, but she’s not uber keen on dinner lately, so I just take it to kindy for lunch the following day (she regularly eats 2 kids yoghurts, fruit, and a full meal for her at kindy!), and also have a backup if she really doesn’t like it, but the teachers give her the leftovers first, and generally that’s what she will have as her meal. I’ve been giving her family food in various states of mushiness for months now, mostly just steamed a bit now without salt or salty sauces added these days. I don’t do a separate meal, just throw stuff in as I prep it for tea and it gets nuked for her where ours gets stirfried or whatever. That way she sees us eat the same thing, and I usually hold her bowl for her and she picks out the steamed carrot sticks or whatever and has a munch. She’s awesome!
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I is the best thing in the WORLD when they start eating the same food as the rest of the family, isn’t it? No more pureeing, no more heating up separate portions of food from the freezer, just scoop out a bowl of the main meal before you add the salt and spicy sauces, then mush it up with a fork!
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