The smart phone rules.
by KATE HUNTER
I’ll put it straight out there:
I can’t see any reason for a kid under the age of 15 to have a smartphone.
Why is 15 the magic age? Because that’s when a child is old enough to have a job and pay for it herself. Smartphones are expensive time suckers that get kids (and adults) into trouble.
Children in my orbit have them – my nephew loves his iPhone, and my sister is happy to pay for it. I’ve told her my position and she’s told me to get stuffed. Sisters can do that.
I’m not Amish. I have my own iPhone to which I seem to be grafted. We have laptops and desktops and an iPad. My nearly 12 year old son has a mobile phone – a Nana-Nokia I bought at the newsagent for $19 with a nice long pre-paid SIM. He can call or text if cricket training turns into game or he’s invited home with a mate. It sits in the bottom of his schoolbag, too daggy to be used for anything other than essential communications.
Still, I realise I’m a voice in the wilderness and my son could be crippled socially, but there’s no evidence of it just yet. When it happens (my sister predicts will happen before Easter) – I plan to enforce a code of conduct similar to that of Cape Cod Mom Janell Burley Hoffman.
In a Christmas letter to her 13 year old son, published on The Huffington Post, Ms Hoffman outlined the conditions surrounding young Gregory’s shiny new iPhone under the tree. Those rules have been shared a bazillion times on Facebook, but in case you missed them (maybe you lost your iPhone) here are some of Ms Hoffman’s best rules:
1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?
2. I will always know the password.
3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad.” Not ever.
4. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.
5. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Some day you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear — including a bad reputation.
I love all these (and you can read the rest of them here). I especially love that Mum retains ultimate control.
Janell Burley Hoffman sounds like one tough cookie and by her tone, you’d think that Gregory would not dare step out of (on)line.
But I wonder in the real world (where most of us mums already feel our kids are already racing ahead of us) if such strict law enforcement is possible? It’s a bit like when you get a dog and announce that Rusty will ONLY sleep OUTSIDE, and before you know it he’s tucked under the doona with your husband.
Life is busy – do we really want the added job of policing a kid’s smartphone use? These rules for smartphone use by kids (that many adults struggle with) is enough to put me off for a while yet.
Do you think kids should have smartphones?
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Comments
138 Comments so far
Are we going to have an entire generation which brain tumours? Makes you wonder doesn’t it. Dr Teo the brain surgeon does say he thinks younger kids are getting tumours because of phones. Encourage your kids to text or use the speaker and if they must use the phone not to speak on it for long periods.
Better to be safe than sorry.
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Kids with smartphones is a problem, especially younger kids, but having a big contract seems overkill. Why not just ease them into smartphone ownership but adding some restrictions and removing them as they prove to be responsible.
That’s what I did with Kytephone, a free app for Android thats targeted for kids under 15-years old. It’s free and lets me give a smartphone for my son without having to worry about what he does. I can even set time limits!
You can read about it at http://www.kytephone.com
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Just been on ten days holiday. No mobile reception. Yaa! Unfortunately games on phones meant too many hours of gaming. This is the adults… parents of kids who were able to (forced to) occupy themselves. Very little chit chat that usually happens when people sit around relaxing on holidays. I feel ripped off and sad to think I travelled 8 hours on a busy highway to see family once a year for that. Just as an aside I did enjoy the beach.
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You’re spot on Kate. A study a couple of years ago showed that in year 9 kids tend to need a decent phone or they are left out of their social loop. Before then, any daggy mobile will do the job, often with better battery life to boot. Good article, and we’ve been there and done it!
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I’m sorry but as we don’t yet know the full long term effects of mobile phone emissions my children will not be having one until they are old enough to afford one themselves. I completely switch off the wi-fi, laptop or ipad when it is not in use. I worry that there is now wi-fi in my children’s school whilst they are at school. I don’t allow them to put their iPads on their body. Yes yes I know you think I am neurotic but I don’t think it is worth the risk. My eldest (11 yo) tells me constantly how she is the only one in her class without a phone. But she doesn’t need one as I take them to and collect them from school. I have read that if a child has a mobile phone before the age of 15 they are 4x more likely to have a brain tumour. We all managed just fine without them before.
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My employer is friends with several neurosurgeons, none of whom own mobile phones. Enough said.
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I use mine on loud speaker or text and it doesn’t sit on me or all that close either. I’ve had surgery for a meningioma, one of the tumours suspected to be influenced by mobile phones, so I’ve repeatedly discussed use of mobiles with my kids. Did it increase growth of my tumour? Don’t know, but I’m far more cautious now.
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I completely agree, our kids are exposed (in fact we all are) to wifi everywhere we go, and we don’t know the true effects. Don’t call yourself neurotic, you are wise and protective, and cautious of something unproven. Great parenting. Not our job to give them everything they want, but to do the best for them and keep them safe, healthy and educated. Same goes in my house.
I bet if you ask some of the other parents of your 11 year olds friends, they too will be the “only one at school without a phone”. I know that’s the case with my 10 year old!
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I’m a teacher and some of the other staff at my school tuck them inside their bras so they are not visible during playground duty….
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If you google ‘wifi banned in schools’, you will see that its now banned in French primary schools and many schools in the UK and Canada due to the pitfalls of electromagnetic radiation – fatigue, headaches, sleeping problems, depression etc etc which are particularly harsh on children. You are not paranoid at all.
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This year my eldest starts high school and I will have 25-30 mins to travel between schools at pickup time. Eldest will have a basic non-smart phone to contact me if required. Even on an individualised basis Eldest is not responsible enough for a smartphone given she still loses a lunchbox per term. Some of her schoolmates have had smartphones since ages 8-9 and I have confirmed for myself that she is in the minority in not having an Instagram account (seriously, I found most of her friends on Instagram with barely a modicum of effort). She has an iPod touch but no access to our household wifi. What she wants on the iPod touch goes through me and my iTunes account. Or she has to wait until we visit the local library or Maccas.
She will have a laptop for school this year. It’s school-issued (although we pay the lease on it) and social media restricted until Year 10. I can’t wait to see how often she loses it. Sigh.
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I’m sorry, I fail to see how someone would be ‘left behind’ in education if they only had access to an iPad at school? I don’t think it takes any particular skill to master the use of a tablet (a perfect example is how competent 2 year olds are in using them) It looks as though technology will provide something totally new before long and our investment in tablet education will be obsolete. Better to focus on the use of traditional computers which are where the software development actually happens and where tech ability is actually necessary.
I think we should stop assuming that because a company sells us a product that that needs to be the way of life or future. Our lives only need to revolve around technology if we so choose. Who has actually considered what value and meaning the smart phone actually brings to their life?
I also want to know why noone seems concerned about the eye strain and damage that will result from exposing our childrento these tiny screens at school and home?
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Also, I have heard of a syndrome called “texter’s neck”. This is where you flatten out the natural curve in your neck from bending your head constantly.
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I am an strong advocate for technology as a learning tool. But I think there are two parts to the argument for and against smartphones for children: the necessity or not to have an actual phone, and the responsibilities associated; and the benefits of all the other functions of the device.
I am in 100% agreement that the use of an actual phone that requires credit or a bill to be paid is a responsibility for an ADULT or someone old enough to pay the reccurent costs and watch the spending and use of it. As a tool for contacting parents, a child is likely to be supervised by an adult 24hrs a day and therefore have access to an adults phone. I can’t see where the justifications are in giving a kid a phone as such – they are all excuses if you ask me.
In terms of technology and learning, most children are having access to iPod touches, iPads, laptops and interactive whiteboards at school now because the use of ICT is seen as a cross curricular priority. Children cannot be shielded from this technology forever, it is a lifestyle thing. I do believe the use of these tools enhances learning when used appropriately because it engages children. In saying that though, I question the social and mental health impacts on letting kids come home from school and get swept away by all these games and apps. I think there is such a thing as over saturation.
I commend parents who are not necessarily techno-nazis, but choose to limit iPad/iPod time at home and insist on proper social rules and ettiquette. My niece (10) and nephew (8), both have iPod touches and limited computer time. Niece doesn’t have a huge interest in computer games and apps, where nephew does and needs to constantly have electronic devices taken off him and sent outside to play in the real world. I really do fear that we are going to end up with a whole generation of adults with no social skills, and cyber bullying is going to end up out of control because parents are getting more and more lax with letting kids use social media like facebook and twitter.
My opinion overall is that parents can and really should restrict and monitor screen time. They do not need social media and they do not need to have a mobile phone until they can pay the bills and are more independent. They can get the same learning benefits at school on supplied devices and through restricted time at home. The problem with supplying a phone is that they will carry it everywhere because that’s what you are supposed to do, and they will never put it down. Kids should be playing chasey at lunch time and games in the pick-up area after school, not playing with phones.
Over saturation leads to poor mental health, poor social skills and obesity. Think hard before giving in to your kids every whim.
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i dont know about all this. I recently had a conversation with my mother about my teenage years. I said that i don’t remember huge blow ups, and we generally got on well (we had our moments, dont get me wrong! They were just rare), but perhaps i was delusional? Mum said no, we had our issues, but i always trusted you, and because of that you were worthy of my trust. It was a good thing.
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My niece (7) and nephew (10) have full unsupervised access to phones -messaging, facebook, instagram etc. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous, just no need to bring them into all that social media at that age. And not to mention how restricted you are on FB if they add you, as they read everything.
But I did have unsupervised msn/mirc/aol and mobile (Nokia 3310..it was cool once, I promise) at the age of 16. I’m not going to lie, I was on the phone/computer during the holidays till 3/4am talking to friends or boyfriend and I will always remember that as fun times. So I think I’ll sometimes just let it slide when the kids are up late or chatting too much.
But then again my parents didn’t have to deal with me having Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, smartphone, mms’ing…
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7 and 10 year old children should not be on facebook!!!
Have your nieces and nephews parents totally switched off from parenting?
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Agree chillax! I have a 7 and 10 year old and neither would or desire to be anywhere near Facebook. They are too busy playing wii and watching cartoons (during their technology time). Where have kids childhoods gone?
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added rule – NO PHONES IN THE TOILET! seriously who does that?
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My boys 9 and 3 both have iPods. When my older sons friends who also have iPods come to play they end up outside on the trampoline or playing basketball and just being kids. When his friends with no iPods come to play they are obsessive about playing on the iPods and can hardly stop for a toasted Nutella sandwich! Yes a toasted Nutella sandwich! Time will tell which camp is right but I sure do love to see those choc covered faces out on the slip and slide!!
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We bought our son, he’s 12, a Telstra phone last year. He walks to school, has sport training etc. He rarely uses it, it doesn’t have Internet etc. He has an iPod touch and only I have the password for it. I want to know exactly what he purchases and this way I have that control. We also have a no Internet in bedrooms policy. The iPod is handed in on Sunday nights and he gets it back on Friday afternoon depending on homework etc. It works for us now.
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As much as my husband loves them, my dogs sleep outside. Always have, always will
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Can someone tell me the base price for a new smartphone?
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They generally start from about $80-100, though for one that can actually handle the latest apps/software and has good features you’re looking at about $200.
I’m on a plan and my my iPhone 5 plus usage costs about $70 a month.
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I got mine online from Virgin Mobile in about Sep 2011 for $149 prepaid. They’re cheaper now though.
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I think to buy a new smartphone outright it’s about $600-800.
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Mine was $149, can be unlocked after $80 of recharges (prepaid).
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Ive seen iPhones and galaxies, new, for a lot more. Smartphones a couple of generations old, yes.
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There’s more basic, less expensive options than iPhones, Galaxies and Blackberrys. They aren’t old models, they just don’t have the features of the more expensive ones (the same way there are all different types of laptops).
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Mine takes photos and movies, is a phone, texts, plays music, radio, internet, links to facebook, can download apps, has the weather on it, off the top of my head. I don’t know what else you need a phone to do?
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These are def top of the range models, but the reality is that a lot of people, particularly teenagers want the top of the line phones. Knowing the average price doesn’t hurt.
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We got our two oldest (in their 20s) nokias when they were both 15. Again the age at which they could get jobs to pay for the credit. We learned fairly early on with our daughter to take the thing out of her room when my husband heard her talking on the mobile at 4 am one morning. They both ran up big bills at 18 when they could sign a contract and get a fancy phone and had to pay it off. Not as big as some I’ve heard of, but enough.
Our 12 year old has the use of an older galaxy, but even though a lot of her friends have mobiles, it hasn’t become part of her life. She has an iPad for school and and iPod, both of which only have Internet access at home. I’m ok with that, but will be taking them off her at night.
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I’m quite horrified at the suggestion that “responsible” parents should have their children’s passwords until age 18 – no privacy until they are an adult?!
I’m all for responsbility (you break it, you bought it – very sensible with teenagers!) and politenness but Ms Hoffman seems a touch obsessive (I remember the fun of late night ICQ conversations as a teenager, and would never want to take away the modern day equivalent!)
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Agree. To be honest after a certain age I think it’s a real breach of privacy, not just for your kids, but their friends. If you have their Facebook/Twitter/phone password you can see messages friends send them as well and that’s really not OK.
When I was 16 my best friend told me she was pregnant via a text message. The thought of my parents reading that whilst snooping through messages is horrifying.
I think it would be fair to have a Facebook/phone password for the first month, but if the kid doesn’t mess up in that time show them you trust them and let them change it. If you find out they’ve done something stupid then sure, make them give it to you again, but to keep checking up on them for years if they’ve given you no reason not to trust them seems excessive.
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Absolutely! Teenagers deserve some level of privacy. I had no internet in my room and phones off after a certain time; but spent time in the evenings chatting with friends on MSN which was great fun but no way would I have wanted my parents reading the conversations even when they weren’t particularly serious – explaining in-jokes, the camaraderie, the way some friends address each other, etc – why should they have to share that special and harmless stuff with their parents? Why should they have to share who they have a crush on, or who their friend has a crush on? Most of this stuff is harmless, most teenagers are not out to cyber-bully each other and should not be treated as though they are.
I don’t see how texting/emailing/private Facebook messaging/IMing is any different to hanging out with a friend and talking about all these things in person, other than that there’s evidence. You can’t eavesdrop on a schoolyard conversation; ten years ago you wouldn’t insist on your teenager allowing you to listen in on phone conversations pre-mobiles; so why do you think it’s okay to eavesdrop on online conversations?
Admittedly I don’t have children, but I’m young enough to remember what being a teenager was like. If my parents had been so invasive as to reserve the right to read my emails/MSN conversations, all it would have done is led to me keeping unnecessary secrets (i.e. things that wouldn’t normally need to be kept secret) in an attempt to get some privacy, and hurt my relationship with them.
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Can I just extend this a little bit to Instagram – which of course can be accessed with your smartphone or Ipod touch etc. My 10 year old nephew is on Instagram and he is following 170 people and 190 people are following him!! What 10 year old knows 190 people????
C-R-A-Z-Y. And against Instagram terms of use which says you need to be over 13. I am just waiting for the day that my kids (age of 7 at the moment) ask for an i-anything. I’m sorry but my answer will be no. I don’t care if they hate me for it – I am not their friend I am their parent. They can get a job and buy one for themselves
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Every time I read an article by you Kate I can see my younger self, and even myself now, thinking along the same lines. It is a delight (or is that because I always agree with you?)
However, I have to weigh in here. I find that the concept of parents socializing their children has really gone. You are not your children’s friends!!!!! Sure there are going to be times that they resent whatever rule you have. I can look back on hours of conflict with my 4, one example was how much computer and internet time they were allowed along with TV, we ended up telling them so many hours of “monitor” time a week and they worked out which item they wanted to use and which nights.
But at xmas I overheard my kids talking about how they learnt from the rules they were given when young, they were discussing one niece’s request for a tablet (does it really have to be an IPad? Which aren’t always the best for the some uses). The heavy discussion was interposed with comments about how lucky they had been with parents that cared enough to socialize them and not let them do what ever they wanted.
And no thye didn’t realise I was sitting under the window outside. I must admit I was really pleased since even now I have thoughts about how firm we were. So hold to the “no smartphone under 15”, and isn’t it an often quoted comment that “everyone “ has one.
As a teacher I know kids today need internet access, but sorry to those teachers who feel the children need to provide their own phones, what happens to those who don’t have these items? That is slack teacher planning. You are the teacher, you should be providing utube clips, internet sites that you have already pre-researched (rather than using class time to surf the net), you should be planned enough to have booked that computer lab. A few spontaneous moments happen but not for every lesson.
And yes I have taught with computers in my class room since the time I bought my own for my Lab and connected it to a 2nd hand TV . many light years ago.
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I’ve been sussing out getting an IPod (screaming into the 21st Century!) and asked on my facebook about Apple v non, and got zealots (whom I love dearly) telling me that I should go Apple, as IPads are great for fine motor skill development. Because clearly we are all lacking that.
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i really dont care either way, but i like to have usb ports, i dont like having to pay for most of my downloads, and since my laptop and tower are microsoft it seems better to stick to the same software.
i have a two grand children with ipads, and another two with asus tablets. neither seems better than the other (other than the usb ports)
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We have an ipad, samsung tablet and an asus tablet, using all three, they are all the same.
I went from an iphone to a samsung note and i love it.
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I think it really depends on what you want to use it for and what apps are available on each platform (apple/non-apple) to support that. If you want just a music player, there are many cheaper options available. If you also want to use the Internet (through wifi for an iPod) or use other apps, apple has an enormous amount available.
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In terms of technology and offering more the best phone is Samsung galaxy 3. The iPhone 4&5 are basically the same as each other, just different sizes. If you want a smarter phone get the Samsung galaxy3. This was the advice I was given by someone at a phone store.
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after a lto of research i ended up with the galaxy 3, same went for tablets, i got an asus
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LOL! This is exactly what happened on my facebook when I asked. Except it was mostly apple zealots.
I only want an IPod. I don’t want a tablet. I didn’t want to particularly get apple – I make myself use the Macs at uni and loathe their annoying points of difference just to be different, but I’m going to get one now. I don’t like that I would need other stuff to get music and games, which I can only really get through Itunes. I tried it with my LG phone, and it was a nightmare, so IPod it is.
And no, I won’t wonder what I ever did before Apple, and I won’t be running out to spend $500 on an IPad (what my windows laptop cost, pretty much), Apple nuts. Sorry.
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My 11 year old is so desperate for a phone he wants to walk to school in order to justify it! Not an option currently, but he will have to walk to high school in 2015 so I guess that’s when we’ll buy him a phone. He’s driving us crazy now though, insisting that all his friends have phones – despite the fact that they too are supervised 24 hours a day by adults.
It’s a different world!
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Yes, there is an argument for giving kids smartphones. Used effectively, there are a useful learning tool (please note I said ‘used effectively’)
Learning is an active process, it requires a person to actually do something to gather and retain new information and skills. How can our kids learn to be responsible with smart phone style technology if we don’t allow them to use it? Although it is true, a 12 year old may not ‘need’ a smart phone, there are useful reasons to have one, i.e. access to information and the variety of apps that allow for organisation, problem solving and storage (books, PDF and music). The answer may not be ‘banning’, but rather actively teaching responsible use. If we teach responsible use from a young age (as with anything) there is more time to develop responsible habits.
Our kids learn safe road habits by having us sit next to them while they ‘practice’ driving. Their access to the road is monitored and controlled. Then, in graduating increments, they progressively earn more freedom. Perhaps, rather than imposing age based restrictions and ‘demonising’ smart phones, we could be teaching our Tweens how to use smart phones as a tool to organise, learn and critically evaluate their world. They can learn to use them as a tool to construct knowledge, rather than as a commodity that binds them to a peer group. But they can need the opportunity to practice responsible use. Just as we can not learn to drive a car effectively by watching someone else drive or reading a set of rules, we can not learn to drive a smart phone effectively unless we are given the opportunity, trust and guidance to use one responsibly.
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I remember having a nanna phone when I was in high school 10 years ago. It sucked then, so it must really suck now. My family also didn’t have internet (my parents still think the internet is a fad) so I couldn’t chat online to friends after school. I know it’s a total FWP, but at the time I really did feel my friendships suffered. I was always hearing about stuff way after it happened, I didn’t understand most of my friends conversations because I’d missed out on a bunch of chats and pics and I couldn’t download all the videos and music they talked about constantly. I still remember that feeling of being of left out (and often I was left out of plans because friends couldn’t contact me). I think sometimes adults forget just how awful that is when you’re a kid.
Also I hate the writers first rule. I got a lot of ‘gifts’ like that as a kid, and it really sucks. I would have rather gotten nothing than the gift of feeling like my parents were doing me some huge favour by letting me use something they paid for. Same goes for ‘it’s our house, we bought it, you just live here’. That’s fine, but then don’t act surprised when I tell you I never for a second felt at home in YOUR house.
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I completely understand where you’re coming from. I was late to the MSN bandwagon and felt so much more a part of my social group when I had it. I also had a couple of close friends who I don’t think I would have become as close to if we hadn’t chatted online several times a week, because there just wasn’t as much opportunity to chat one-on-one elsewhere as it was impractical to hang out after school that often (and you often weren’t inclined to until you’d already become close!) One of them is now my best friend.
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Our daughter desperately wanted a mobile phone like everyone else at high school, and said, “Mum, when the teacher told everyone to turn their phones off at the start of the lesson, I was the ONLY one that didn’t have one to turn off!”
We didn’t budge! She didn’t get one until she turned 17 as she had her P’s and was driving herself around. (Also only got FB when she was 17 as well, and I had to know her password until she turned 18!) She has also had to pay for the prepaid credit herself. And it has since turned out to be so handy being able to contact her, and vice versa, if training/excursions/tutoring run late!
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I am a bad mother for not purchasing an Iphone for my 15 year old this Christmas. Apparently, ALL her friends have one. And she complains that having to carry her phone and ipod at the same time is a hassle! Tough. I have told her that if she wants one she can get a part-time job and save up for one and contribute to the credit.
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Carrying phone and iPod = first world problem
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I agree with this 100%. If they can afford it, then they should be able to have it. It also starts teaching them about bills. Cell phones were only just slowly getting popular when I was in High School. A few people had them, but they aren’t like it is now where everyone has one and if someone doesn’t, then people are shocked. I didn’t get my first cellphone until I was 18 and I was out of school. My mom would never have bought me one, and in my small town it’s impossible for teenagers to get jobs unless they know someone or it’s a family business. But once I got my cell, which was nothing like cellphones today I learned they aren’t cheap. This was an old flip phone and at first all I got was the phone cards because I figured that would be cheaper. I learned the hard way that that was wrong. So I went under contract. I think that was back in 2005/2006 maybe. I have a smart phone now. I just bought a Samsung Galaxy 3 and I love it.
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“If they can afford it, they should have it”.
I really disagree with this. I know you probably didn’t mean it past the context of iphones, but when I look around and see what the small kids around my area ‘have’, it just blows my mind. I just don’t see how kids are learning about the values of things when they are given very expensive items at a very young age – $300 gaming systems at age 2 or 3, $600 tablets of their very own at the same age etc. People seem to have this idea that if they have the money to buy it, their kids should have it, whether it is a good idea for them to have it or not (for reasons such as life lessons about value, hard work, looking after things, not consuming unnecessarily etc). How is a child that young supposed to give such an expensive item the respect it deserves? There is no way my parents would ever have given us such a thing – of course my parents didn’t also just hand over a car when we turned 18 either like so many parents seem to do now. My first car was a 20 year old car that was all I could afford after working a part time job from the age of 15, and then saving plenty until I was about 18 or 19. Do I appreciate the lessons about hard work that it taught me? Yes, I do.
After you have given a child every igadget by the age of 5 what on earth do you do for gifts from that point on? Do you get bigger and more expensive? I was so glad when a couple of years ago my kids were asking for simple things like dinosaurs and a zhu zhu pet instead of the ipods, and DSs that their friends were getting. I know that in the future they will need to have access to things like this for their skills, and I plan to give them that when they need it, but they do not need too much too young!
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I think it puts kids at a disadvantage socially and intellectually to deny them something so advanced as a smart phone. Times have changed, kids grow up quicker. Society is evolving. I don’t see why kids need to be denied a smart phone cuz parents still have to sign for it, pay for it and have control over it. I don’t want my daughter to be denied technology that is no doubt going to advance. If denied by the ttime some of these kids catch up smart phones will be old news and how can we except children to survive in today’s society if they are constantly sheltered and kept behind?I Don’t condone kids accessing the internet at a young age but that doesn’t mean they can’t use the the smart phones and get an idea and insight into technology. It’s up to the parents to control how these smartphones are used. Kids can’t parent themselves but it can all be handled with reason.
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Hi Anon, as I mentioned, my kids aren’t denied technology. They all have access to a laptop and an iPad although they can’t take them out of the house unless we are going somewhere they will have to wait endlessly (daughter’s eye specialist springs to mind). Books are handy for those occasions too. Both my older kids write blogs and my son follows cricket and footy websites almost obsessively. It’s the all-the-timeness of a smartphone that bothers me. That and the money. I can’t see them being ostracised socially because they don’t have smartphones. Not for a while anyway.
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Thanks for replying Kate. I definitely see where you are coming from. I have a smartphone and just quietly , l find it quite addictive.
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Jeez, Kate, that’s the first time I’ve heard you accused of sheltering your kids!
How’s the library going?
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Can you please explain how you think not having a smart phone puts a school kid at a disadvantage intellectually? That thinking just astounds me. Socially I could see how a teenager would cop some ribbing about having a cheap phone, but have you seen a group of teenagers sitting around a table together, with each of them fiddling with their mobile and not even speaking?tell me the social advantage there please.
I’ve also known parents to buy a phone for their child/teenager, with a plan to avoid them running out of credit, only for the teenager to rack up bills thoughtlessly up to the thousands. Let’s face it unless you buy outright, or get an older phone, you need a plan for a smartphone.
The only winners here are the telcos.
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With how advanced technology is these days and as one teacher on here mentioned, a lot of kids can use the smartphone for school stuff. It helps them learn how to work something that is as advanced if not more so, than a computer. Computers are used left right and centre for schooling so imagine putting a child in front of a laptop at school, the same child whose parents have denied them access to any sort of smart phone technology and while the other kids are advancing this one child is sitting there in the classroom confused and not knowing where to begin with this laptop. It hinders their education because instead of keeping up with their classmates , they have to first learn how to use the new technology. It puts these kind of kids at a disadvantage when they have to learn the basics before they even begin their school work.
Socially , when a majority of kids have access to smartphones etc it makes the kids who don’t feel left out and out of touch with their own peers. It’s not 1989. These days most kids have a hold on technology and social media.
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They don’t need a PHONE on a plan though. iPods do the same stuff and so do iPads and tablets. AND many schools are starting to use educational apps and interactive whiteboards for school lessons. Seriously, there is such a thing as over saturation. I think the argument is that smartphones rack up big bills – something teenagers need to learn responsibility about… when THEY can pay for it themselves.
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Dont know where my reply went, but I’ll give it another go.
I still disagree with your arguement. My example: our 12 year old does not have her own smart phone and has only recently gotten an iPod and iPad (for school). I have an iPhone and she and her 9 year old sister certainly know how to use it and the 9 year old doesn’t have an iPod/iPad yet. I imagine this would be the case with a lot of families. They are also both pretty computer savvy and my 12 year old actually did quite well in ICT and I’ve seen her doing things on the computer which I haven’t shown her.
I still also disagree with the social aspect you’ve mentioned. Read above example. You can still text on a basic phone and younger teens don’t need Internet access etc on their phone.
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NO, NO, NO I don’t think kids should have smart phones. Kate I whole-heartedly think you are doing the right thing by only giving your son a phone he can use to contact you in emergencies.
My son is 4. He wanted an iPad for xmas. I laughed – I don’t even have an iPad so AS IF he was getting one!!!!!! He told me all his friends at kindy have iPads. So I started asking the parents, “Does your child have an iPad?” “Oh yes!” was the response 100% of the time!!!!!!!!! So I then asked, “Oh but it’s your iPad and you just let them use it right? It’s not actually THEIR own iPad???” And the response, “Oh no, it’s theirs. I have my own!” I was dumbfounded and perplexed.
So I spoke to my husband who I was 100% confident would ‘back-me-up’ in agreeing that an iPad for a 4 year old was a totally ridiculous idea. Boy was I wrong. He said, “Get him one. He wants one, it’s what he really wants, all his friends have them, just get it for him!”
So I very reluctantly got him an iPad for xmas. And he was so excited and happy about it. But my inner voice STILL yells at me that I did the wrong thing.
Of course, it’s ME who’s mostly using the thing. I’m very reluctant to hand it over without supervising him the entire time. I still think we made a mistake and so it lives with me. I rarely let him use it.
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Why do you feel you have to supervise him the whole time? My 2 year old daughter uses my ipad. She loves the puzzles and the interactive books. Once ive taught her to use the app, she’s off and running. She still love paper books, and wooden puzzles and will stop it all if the beach or going for a swim or to the playground is mentioned. I dont understand you’re reluctance.
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Because they’re little kids who are playing with electronic equipment worth $500?
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I’ve actually found my daughter pretty good. I wouldn’t leave her completely alone but there are rules about where she sits, not carrying it around, using fingers etc and I’m surprised at how well she’s sticks to them. She’ll probably use it for about 10 min slots a couple of times a day, depending on the weather. But to be honest she actually prefers to do most of the apps with me anyway.
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Jane, my daughter asked for one too. I said no. A phone or ipod is one thing but an ipad is a bit ott in my opinion for a child who is still developing. My daughter says her friends spend hours on theirs so I think you have done the right thing by limiting how much your son uses it.
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I’m the opposite, no way would I buy my 4 year old an iPad but an iPhone or iPod? No chance.
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Aaaah, why can’t I edit? That should read that I WOULD buy an iPad but not an iPod or iPhone.
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Make sure you go into “Settings” /”General” / “Restrictions” and set it to the appropriate child- related settings (G/PG) etc.
Also my tip would be to turn the “In-App” purchases off so they aren’t constantly hassling you to buy stuff.
Set a pass code for the restrictions that you don’t share with them so they can’t change thew settings themselves.
Good luck!
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My kids have one to share. They are 5 and 8. It does sound outlandish buying something so expensive for children but they can be very useful. My son has dyslexia and there are some excellent apps for phonics that he is using. My daughter also likes the read-along apps. We pay $80 for 45 minutes with a speech pathologist so compared to that the iPad has been ok value for money.
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As a teacher-I love kids having smartphones. When used responsibly they can be one of the best education tools ever. In my class ( I am a media teacher) we use them to take and edit photos, to learn about camera angles etc, we make movies, kids use them to select music for their productions, kids can save their work on them, and they can search the internet for assignments when a computer lab is unavailable, and I also admit I can get the kids to text each other when it is time to come back to class. The students can also download movies onto their phones so they can watch the films we are studying in class, and I can hook their phones up to the smartboard so the class can watch material of their phones.
It all comes down to teaching your kids to be responsible with the phones and the possibilities are endless!
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Love this. Also interested to note that the reception kids at my daughter school last year were going alot of school work on iPads in class – learning how to do corect writing strokes, reading, grammar, etc.
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Hi EmC
I’m interested to know what age group you are referring to?
And what do you do with the kids that don’t have smartphones?
Thanks.
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I take it that you are a teacher in a top-notch private school where all the students have affluent parents who have the means to give their children an expensive smartphone.
If you aren’t a teacher in a school like that I feel sorry for the students in your class who may have come from the wrong side of the tracks and their parents haven’t the financial resources to fund their kids a smart phone. Those students of yours must be awfully disadvanted in your classroom.
Yes it is true that once kids becomes teenagers they can get a job afterschool and pay for their own smart phone, but some parents don’t believe in their kids working while in highschool as they believe that their kids focus has to be on their education.
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It’s been a recurring theme in my studies Catgirl – while the new technology is undoubtedly fantastic in many ways, the digital divide is a very real and problematic issue. To succeed with so much emphasis on new information technology, you need access to it at school and home, proficient teachers, and most importantly parents who value it and are both proficient at using their IT, and happy to sit with the kids while they use it. The kids also need to be interested in doing it too – and many just aren’t.
To see the kids using IPads in a classroom with a keen teacher who understands them is wonderful and so impressive. To see the opposite end of the spectrum isn’t so bad, but Year 2 kids shouldn’t be relied on by the teacher who is “just too old to learn it” to fix issues with the equipment.
It’s a fine balance. But as you point out, the kids who don’t have access to this stuff are the ones you need to base things around.
I also believe it’s making kids not retain info as much – when you can just google an answer, answer and move on, where’s the learning? You need to actively write it down. I remain to be convinced as to the all encompassing awesomeness of I-everything. Sometimes, sure, but not for everything.
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A big part is to teach kids about the reliability of the sources when they are ‘googling’ their answers.
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Sure, but my point is that they don’t retain the info. I know I remember things better when I’ve written it out by hand.
I’ve seen it happen formally and informally. Get a question, google it, answer, move on. No recollection.
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I think thats a generation thing though too, kids today arent taught the same way we were therefore they retain info differently too. Case in point, i work with a diary that i write in daily to organise myself and my work. My son who is 14 works with his tablet to organise his school work. Doesnt write anything down. Definitely a generation thing.
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I get absolutely nothing from writing things down after I read them. If anything I think it makes my memory much worse (why remember something when you know you can refer to notes).
The whole ‘read it then write it in your own words’ thing was the number one reason I was bored out of my brain in high school. It’s just one way of learning, many educational systems don’t use that method at all and no one seems to suffer for it.
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You can write something down but not remember it. It has more to do with how you use the information. Putting it in a different context, rewording, explaining it to someone else either in written form or verbally, making a short film ( kids do this with ease these days), story boarding, debate it etc. I write stuff down all the time and forget it. You need to use and reuse it
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OK. First of all – I said “I”. “I remember things better if I write them down”. Not “Everyone does and must”.
I know there are different learning styles. However google, answer, forget, is, hey, *probably* not one of the most effective.
It is using the technology at hand effectively, but I don’t think that it could be considered effective learning if stuff isn’t being retained. The amount of people in my course who have no idea of stuff that most adults would consider just normal to know is really kind of frightening. Teachers need to know stuff. They also need to know how to find out about stuff and teach kids that too. I have no argument with that. But you need to retain something, and these guys are very adept at looking things that most people ten years older than them would take for granted as general knowledge.
It’s lazy and it’s making people lazier.
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If you’re interested in a really good way to ‘reuse’ information using technology go to YouTube and search ‘decd new media’. It’s a government film making programme in SA. Some of these films were made entirely using iPads, phones, video cameras and other editing software. There are some very powerful films. All are government schools, quite a few low ses.
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I teach in a Government high School in a by no means high socio economic area. At least 80% of the class has smart phones.
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Also if they don’t have smartphones it is no problem- they either use the computers and cameras I have in my room or the lap tops they are supplied with by the school.
I am a professional who works in the Government system – I would never disadvantage students based on what their parents can and cannot afford.
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When we say that our son will have a smart phone when he can pay for it (he’s 2) our friends with older kids laugh and say we’ll see. They said that about a lot of things we said we would do as parents and so far we’ve followed through. I have no doubt our kids will have mobiles at a much younger age than we did, thats life now, but we are here I provide them with the basics in life. If they want the fancy stuff them they can work for it just like we had to.
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I’m 14 and have had a smartphone (Samsung Galaxy S2) for about a year. I have to pay for half the credit each month. It takes me 1.5hours to get to school (specialised academic school on the city) and I can use my phone to play games, use social media, even text my grandma! When I first got my smartphone (and laptop aswell) there very strict rules such no texting after 9pm, no internet in bedroom etc. However, these rules haven’t been inforced and I pretty much do whatever! It’s funny cos my parents are strict but I guess they just trust me!
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Kate, I am tempted to pay you money to be my ‘parenting-mentor’ …
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I agree once kids become teenagers and going out their own that a mobile phone is a good thing but when would an 8 year old ever be on their own and need one? They would always be with a parent/ some other form of carer if there was some emergency or needed to contact some one. I am waiting as long as possible!
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My son turns 13 in February, but is switching to a new (middle) school this year. He’ll be catching a bus for the first time.
I gave him my old iPhone for Christmas, but the prepaid does NOT include internet access. That way he can use it like an iPod touch at home (where I have some control) and use WiFi for messaging/facetime etc.at home, and when he’s out and about it’s just a phone that has an easier way to text (he has an intellectual disability and I think the alphanumeric keypad would make life pretty hard for him to use text). That’s my compromise. Little guy will get the same when he starts middle/high school.
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I have been operating by the rule that my
Kids phones and ipods have to be handed to me or their dad before bedtime and they get them back in the morning.
That said their phones are simple nokia’s and not smartphones. And are only to be used when catching the train to and from school.
Most of my 11yo’s friends have the latest iphone which i think is ridiculous. Their parents are nice people but seem to have the attitude with their kids that they want to be their friend rather than a parent and they can afford it so dont see anything wrong with it.
Parents need to understand that just because you can afford for your kids to have the latest iphone or smartphone doesnt make it appropriate
For them to have one.
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Meh. I think we need to accept that smart phones will be an integral part of our lives very soon. Already now you can do so much more with your phone, financial transactions etc, we can’t even imagine how much we will come to rely on them & how useful they will be. My son who is 12 has my old iPhone on a very cheap plan, no problems so far. What I don’t get is parents who won’t allow an iphone but an iPod is ok? Do they realize you can access the Internet on iPods?
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There is no need for a child to have a phone until they start going out on their own i believe. Usually around 14-15 yrs when they may start to catch public transport to meet up with friends or after school activities etc. With all the technology available today, kids can email, Facebook each other or use those old scary “landlines” if they should need to talk to their friends. There is no need to be paying for a child to be texting or calling their friends from a mobile when there are so many other ways to contact each other readily available. Also a child should pay or at least help to pay for either the plan or credit on it.
It’s just ridiculous these days, all getting too complicated!
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Hi MammaCo, Last year I caught a bus home from the city at about 4pm. It was packed with high school kids. I thought, ‘Great!’ I love eavesdropping on teenagers’ conversations, but the bus was deathly quiet. They were all fiddling with their iPhones. I felt a bit sad and disappointed. I’d have preferred a good old-fashioned Puberty Blues schoolbus cat fight. MOLLS!
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It’s eerie isn’t it? What is with the sitting next your mates on the bus and everyone listening silently to ipods or fiddling with their phones?
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My 12 yo does walk home from school, catch public transport etc. I don’t pay for him to text his friends etc as its all done via wifi etc. You should really do yourself & favour & learn more about how useful technology can be, mobile phones aren’t just for chatting any more they are so much for powerful. If you don’t keep up you will be left behind.
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You can access the internet on an iPod now?
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Only by connecting it to wifi, though you can do this at some public places like Maccas
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I think about this all the time even though my son’s still a pre-schooler. I see kids at the mall with phones and they’re like 7yo! Walking alongside their parents, frantically tapping and scrolling away while other shoppers try to dodge them as the kids are so buried in their phones they’ve shut off the outside world. Who the heck would a 7yo need to call other than the Ghostbusters or Santa maybe?
I always say I’ll buy my kid a smartphone at the same age I got my first mobile: 25. Had a car phone before then (remember those??) because one of my dad’s clients couldn’t pay his bill so installed them in each of our cars instead. But I didn’t even use that brick. I just thought the antenna stuck to the back windshield made me look cool and sophisticated haha. If my child wants one before then he can buy it himself… after he turns 16.
Saying that though, he’s already on his 2nd iPad, tries to ‘swipe’ the screens of tvs and can navigate to the Gangnam Style clip on YouTube quicker than I can. So while I talk a tough game now, I’m not sure how long it’ll last. I never want him to be the odd duck with the mother who only gives him stale bread and gruel. But I also don’t want him to suffer from the same sensory overload I think most of us adults do. Too much information, not enough thinking or problem solving. Ugh I just don’t know the right answer.
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I found your comment interesting as I am thinking about this too when my son is only 6. He has my old iphone but with no phone connection. He plays games on it like your son does the iPad. He is not allowed to hold it while walking to avoid the crashing into people and not experiencing life.
The reason I find the comment interesting is because there is no way I would want my 6 year old listening to the lyrics of Gangnam style. The word sexy is not something that should be in his vocabulary and I certainly don’t want to explain. So I guess I am more perplexed by parents who let their children watch and listen to adult music than I am by smartphone usage. I don’t mean the comment to be critical of you or your parenting more my thoughts on the whole Gangnam style. One of my friends tells her daughters he sings chips and gravy not sexy lady so that would be one way to go!
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Can relate to this but have had to become a lot more fluid in my thinking. Mini cleo (almost 8) knows it with both lyrics (ie sexy lady and hot chips and gravy) but actually prefers the latter and I am strict with her screen viewing – ABC kids and no You Tube without me – only let her watch Kideos unsupervised. She has picked it up from kids at school (and some of them are the 3 or 4 year old younger brothers or sisters). Might also have something to do with the almost flash mob experience at the carols we went to when the fireworks were playing with music. The Gangnam style song came on and every child on the oval from 4 – teenagers as well as some parents were up and doing the dance.
Am loving the phone rules though…
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Hi Janie, My youngest is six (she has an older brother and sister 11 and 9) and, thanks to my love – or reluctance to give up – top 40 pop music, they know the lyrics and the moves to Gangnam Style. Before I had kids, the idea of this would have horrified me. They regard lyrics to pop music as a silly other language. Time will tell if my slackness in this regard is damaging.
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Fairly sure we’re OK after songs like Golden Brown and She Bop…
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Not to mention Turning Japanese!
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Hi Kate. I guess I feel that sexy is a word that is used so loosely but it has such strong meaning. I would not think it is ever appropriate for a child so young to understand what it means. If a child asked you to tell you what it means how would you explain it. Also I would not want my son to learn it is OK to speak to a woman like that. There are so many things that permeate through our language, our music and become accepted behaviour. Many song lyrics have words or themes that are despicable. The longer I can get away from having him think like that the better. I get that kids learn stuff from others and this is unavoidable but the idea that my six year old would be able to look up sexy lady on the internet or Youtube is not something I want to consider. I know from my own experience that knowing the lyrics and knowing the meaning are two different things but I think it is the bigger picture I am looking at when I choose this as one of my battles…..as each of us has to.
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I am quite shocked at your concern over the word ‘sexy’ for your six yr old.
I grew up listening to some doozies and I turned out ok.
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I guess I feel that sexy is a word that is used so loosely but it has such strong meaning. I would not think it is ever appropriate for a child so young to understand what it means. If a child asked you to tell you what it means how would you explain it. Also I would not want my son to learn it is OK to speak to a woman like that. There are so many things that permeate through our language, our music and become accepted behaviour. Many song lyrics have words or themes that are despicable. The longer I can get away from having him think like that the better. I get that kids learn stuff from others and this is unavoidable but the idea that my six year old would be able to look up sexy lady on the internet or Youtube is not something I want to consider. I know from my own experience that knowing the lyrics and knowing the meaning are two different things but I think it is the bigger picture I am looking at when I choose this as one of my battles…..as each of us has to.
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Why would you hold back on a smart phone but not an ipad?
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I don’t have a problem with the iPad at this point because I’ve set it up where only I can add apps so I control what he has access to. His online experience is contained to what I allow him to see and we always use it together. He has his set time he can use it at home – some days he doesn’t even bother with it – and then once his time’s up, I put it away out of his reach. All of that changes though with a smartphone because he’d be using it outside of the house and away from me. And if he ends up being anywhere as sneaky as I was as a kid, I can’t be naive enough to think that he wouldn’t try to bypass any boundaries I attempted to set up with his phone. That being said, I still have quite awhile to think about how I’ll handle it when the time comes that he asks for one so my viewpoint might change by then!
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Yeh, this is pretty much my experience. I feel much more comfortable with my daughter using the iPad than iPods or phones. I’ll have to have a big think when it comes to more mobile devices, phones, anything where there is unfetted access to the Internet.
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His ability to access the Internet whenever/wherever is definitely what would concern me now. Actually it’s not even so much Internet access maybe… like Kate’s son, he’s somehow already developed a hardcore love for cricket and footy and would happily spend his hour of iPad time replaying team theme songs or looking at their uniforms??!! But it’s social media that freaks me out more than anything. Maybe because I didn’t grow up with it although I’m not sure that’s the problem 100%. When I’d want to talk to a boy on the phone I’d have to call his house line – or for many of us, the 2nd line parents would install for their kids because their teens were tying up the home phones too much and wouldn’t answer call waiting. But we always knew my parents and his could hear the conversation at any time if they walked into the room or picked up another handset. And I sure as f wasn’t bringing half nude selfies of me to the local Kodak shop to get developed. Or not knowing for sure if the person I was chatting with really was a 14yo boy or an adult paedophile. Right now he’s just a passive user so I find the iPad ok. But when he actively wants to engage with others online, that’s when I’m going to have to decide what to do not only with a smartphone but the iPad also.
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I just bought my 13yo brother a $100 samsung for his birthday/christmas (25 december baby). It’s technically a smartphone – prepaid, so he’ll have to do chores and beg mum a bit to buy him credit.
I don’t see the problem some people have with phones, I got my first when i was 14 if i remember correctly (a 3315 with the awesome snake game!) and I used it to text friends, flirt, play games and have fun. I’m 100% sure that’s what my brother will be doing with his.
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If your kids have a smartphone (or even if you do), a handy tip is to put a passcode restriction on in-app purchases. This’ll stop the confusion between ‘in game fake money’ and your actual money, which will pile up expenses on your credit card.
I added the passcode after multiple people I know ended up with bills worth hundreds of dollars from them not realising/their kids playing games on their phones.
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Great tip! I’m writing that one down!
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Or don’t link it to your credit card. I buy itunes cards so there’s no chance of my three kids buying stuff for their ipod touches using my credit card.
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That too. There are often 10-15% discounts around on the itunes cards.
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is there a phone that is just a texting device, with no internet or picture capabilities?
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There sure are. Nokia makes a couple of models and I think Telstra also has a no frills version or two. They are usually pre-paid and can be bought for under $100.
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Yes. I have an LG one I got from office works for about $80. There might be a couple even cheaper.
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Just a regular mobile phone. You can get them from the post office or newsagent.Telstra shops sell a good simple one (designed for elderly people) with big keys and limited capability. Good for kids to or to keep as a ‘family phone’ for outings etc
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im not a parent yet, but my partner’s niece is 16 and has one and stayed with us over christmas. The kid is already quiet as a mouse and has NO social skills – shy to the point she is rude – however she is stuck to her phone 24/7 and is a completely different person on facebook – loud, crazy, extorverted etc but none of this is obvious in person. I think it is having a HUGE detrimental affect on her social skills. Also her parents are paying for it so she still hasn’t got a job. Oh well, their problem I guess.
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Sounds like xmas lunch with my teenage nieces….phones glued to their faces during the entire family meal. And their parents dont even bat an eyelid. Thats the problem, when parents dont give their kids boundaries they dont know what is expected of them.
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Reminds me of a joke Amy Poehler made on an episode of Ellen….Teenagers are so absorbed in smartphones these days that by the time they get to university they will need to do a course called
iContact
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That’s just rude! I don’t know how you managed to bite your tongue! I would have said something, for sure!
Bloody hopeless parents, fancy allowing kids to use tech devices during xmas lunch! Step up parents, and starting being the bloody parent. ‘Phones away’ may not have been the popular choice, but it’s socially the right thing to do.
I fear I am a dying breed of parent who thinks like this, and I’m only 38!
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“Why is 15 the magic age? Because that’s when a child is old enough to have a job and pay for it herself.”
There is absolutely no reason for a kid under the age of 15 to have a smart phone. I would like to think that anyone under the age of 15 doesn’t need ANY kind of phone but I know that’s not really realistic in this day and age.
AMEN!!
I totally agree that all they need is the basic call, text function and maybe the game of snake. They can survive without a colour touch screen until they can pay for it themselves.
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I would also add a curfew to that list of conditions e.g. No using the phone after 9pm or before 7.30am (depending on the age of the child).
As a teacher, I have lost count of the number of parents who have called me with concerns that their daughter is not getting enough sleep because she is up late texting/facebooking/talking on her phone. They seem generally suprised when I suggest perhaps taking the phone from them!! If you set the curfew straight away, then that will send the message of responsible use and assist with avoiding problems later on.
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Tanya, in the original post the author does set a curfew- from 7:30 pm to 7:30am (9pm on weekends). This will definitely be our rule too… to be enshrined right alongside the “no laptops/computers/iPhones/TV in the bedroom ever. Ever!
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Thanks Kylie L. I like your ‘no laptops/computers/iPhones/TV rule too!
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Why the hell would parents think that was somehow your problem? Not a dig at you Tanya, am genuinely perplexed, are there truly parents out there with so little self accountability that they expect you to magically fix this aspect of their childrens lives?
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I am a pastoral care leader of a year group. It is my responsibility to address any students of concern and I am the first point of contact at the College for any parental or teacher concerns. I have had teachers refer students to me who have fallen asleep in classes because they have been up until 3am on Facebook, not to mention numerous incidences of cyberbullying. Either I have had to call parents/guardians to investigate if there is a problem or parents have called me asking for help with their daughter. You would be suprised at how many parents expect teachers to fix these problems, which as you suggest, is largely a parental responsibility. However, what happens at home can significantly influence what happens at school, so as a College we view the pastoral care of students as a partnership with the parents. Ultimately though, I tell parents that we can control what happens at school, but we can’t control what happens at home, that is their job!
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We gave Dec (13) a Nanna phone for Xmas, for much the same reason your son has one- mainly that his Saturday morning school sport is often an hour’s bus trip away and it will (in theory) make my Saturday schedule much easier if he can ring me and tell me when he is nearly back & needs to be picked up. Ditto for school kayak training, which inevitably runs late and I’m sick of waiting in the school car park in the dark until they finally show up. That said, it’s been 2 weeks since Xmas and the phone is still in its plastic wrapping- he reckons Facebook is a much better way of contacting his mates!
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Are you still a mobile-free zone, Kylie? xxx
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Yep, Bec…. my 13yo son has a phone before I do! (even if it’s still in the box
)
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I want to leave it as long as possible with my kids. At the moment they are in primary school so it’s not an issue but when they are in high school maybe I’ll buy them a mobile without internet and pay for it myself. My worry about smartphones is the kids having unrestricted access to the internet. I’ve seen some things online that I wish I hadn’t and I want my kids to retain some innocence for as long as possible. Also want to shield them from online bullying. For those reasons we don’t have wireless internet at home either, I don’t want the kids to be able to access the internet in their bedrooms (they have ipads and ipods), they can use the computer in the lounge room.
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My son is 14.5 years old. No phone – not an old school Nokia, not a smart phone, nothing!
He says he wants to call his friends, I suggest he use the home phone. This has happened 4 times in his whole life! There are some days I would love him to have a phone, to make my life easier. I believe most of his friends have phones, but I can’t see why.
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Be careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, Christy. It is useful to be able to make contact with our offspring, especially once they get more mobile in those mid teenage years.
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It’s always a bit dangerous to make hard and fast rules about these sorts of things I reckon. The great thing about an iPhone is it can be used as a phone and an iPod and an internet search engine all in one. It’s kind of replaced the laptop for my 2 late teens. In a way it’s cheaper than having multiple devices.
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I have to disagree. In my opinion it’s when there are no hard and fast rules that parents (and kids) get into trouble.
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Kate, I have a friend and her 13 year old son has an iphone on a $70 plan. It is ridiculous, then whinges that she works two jobs! Go figure?
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