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babyconstruction Full disclosure: should your future boss know your future baby plans?

If you plan a baby, should you signpost it?

Job interviews are awful. AWFUL. Nobody enjoys them, let’s be honest. It’s an elaborate dance of Q&A, forcibly bright body language and awkward pauses. So much of what goes on in a job interview is unspoken. Especially when the interviewee is female.

Baby plans? When? Are you using contraception? Is it reliable? Could you be pregnant now or is that just an empire line top you’re wearing?

But what if those questions weren’t unspoken? What if employers could legally ask them? Would you answer honestly?

They want to know because hiring somebody who is pregnant or about to be pregnant puts a serious kink in their future plans for your role and their business. It has implications for them and for your future co-workers. So are you obliged to disclose your conception intentions?

According to the Sunday Telegraph:

BOSSES and recruiters say that, during job interviews, women should disclose their future plans to have a baby.

Several employers told The Sunday Telegraph women should be open about their family plans when applying for a job – some believing it would actually help them secure a position.

A discussion in the UK’s House of Lords last week has sparked intense debate among global businesses, recruiters and politicians.

Prominent businessman and boss in the British television version of The Apprentice, Lord Alan Sugar, urged women to be “forthcoming” by declaring their status on children and childcare “so as to pre-empt any unaskable questions in the mind of the interviewer”.

“Employment regulations for women, whereby the prospective employer is not able to inquire about the interviewee’s status regarding children, childcare, or indeed their intention of becoming a parent, are counterproductive,” he said. In Australia and in the UK, employers are prevented by law from asking female applicants if they plan to have kids.

Hmmmm, “bosses and recruiters” think it’s a good idea? And that it could HELP your employment prospects. Oh sure.

But there are some recruiters, women included, who think that being up front and honest with your bosses really will be good for you (it’s still not clear exactly how). And Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce took a different tack, saying it was best just to assume a woman would want a child.

That doesn’t sound any better. Do all women want babies? Do bosses see wombs when women walk in for an interview?

The article continues from above:

tracey spicer mother 192x300 Full disclosure: should your future boss know your future baby plans?

Tracey Spicer

“Federal Status of Women Minister Kate Ellis said businesses were mandated to employ people on merit, not on age and gender assumptions.

NSW Shadow Minister for Women Pru Goward said it was blatant sex discrimination. “Where does it stop? Do you ask a woman whether she has a boyfriend? Why don’t we ask men whether they have had affairs in the office? There are a lot of personal things that would be useful for employers to know but it doesn’t achieve anything and it is offensive.”

Business owner Jack Singleton said employers do make gender assumptions. “You look at men and know men can’t get pregnant,” he said.

TV presenter and journalist Tracey Spicer says “the writing was on the wall” for her career at Channel Ten when she told her former employer that she wanted to have children.

The 43-year-old said a manager at the station unlawfully asked her years ago whether she was planning on having kids in the next five years. “I trusted this man so stupidly I was honest and I said yes and from that point onwards you could virtually hear the doors being slammed shut, she said.”

With the introduction of paid parental leave in Australia, things are looking up. But there are some intensely private and personal issues at play here, beyond just what’s good for business. For many women, the prospect of miscarriage is real and many of us prefer to keep things quiet for the first few months of our pregnancy. Is this not our right?

And what if you haven’t yet decided if or when you want to have children? What if you’re undergoing IVF? Does your boss have the right to know that? Should you email him or her a photo every time you pee on a stick?

Discuss.

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328 Comments so far

  1. Pingback: trying to conceive period cramps « My Pregnancy Quest

  2. Pingback: cant conceive a second child « My Pregnancy Quest

  3. indeed

    Before I had my first child I told my boss that I was pregnant becuase we were discussing a promotion and I felt I should be upfront with them and I knew that it would factor into their plans for my subordinate. I was only 8 weeks at the time.

    Fast forward 4 weeks and I lost the baby and my boss revoked my promotion and the associated payrise as his budgeting had taken into consideration I would be having 6 months off work.

    Needless to say it made the pain of the miscarriage a little worse.

    My advice is before you have kids say nothing. After you have kids make it known that you plan on having minimal time off, coming back to work, you have lots of support and you dont plan on having any more kids.

    Anything else and youre definitely discriminated against.

    I’ve got 3 kids now and have gone back to work to 3 different environments and its been the same everywhere. And i’m one of the lucky ones, I have flexibility, have maintained my management level jobs & have support.

    One last funny one on the subject- when I accidentally got pregnant with my 3rd child just after starting a job my boss asked me to keep it a secret for 6 months until I had ‘got some run’s on the board’ to make up for the bad news. And he’s one of the best bosses i’ve had- a wonderful guy.

    The moral is even the good ones get it wrong.

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  4. Caroline

    Oh for a world where the “issue” for employers isn’t whether a female will get pregnant or not, but rather an organisational consideration for setting up the appropriate support structures and role designs to enable both men and women to have flexibility in their first 3-12 months of raising a child, depending on who chooses to spend some/all time at home. Sigh.

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  5. Lindy

    omg I just got back from holiday and was catching up on my newspapers this morning and saw an article on this and immediately I thought – god I hop this is a topic for discussion on Mamamia! Cant wait to get reading! Women should most definetly not have to discuss their child rearing plans!

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  6. Quixotic

    All I know is, I kept “coming second” for a bunch of interviews until one time I tried slipping into the ‘chit-chat’ bit that I was unable to have any other children (a bold-faced lie, by the way) and viola! I got the job.

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  7. em

    Interesting debate. From my own perspective I’m glad I work for government and have guaranteed maternity leave and was fortunate to apply for and win a permanent part time position on my return to work after baby # 1. I was on contract when pregnant which they extended to give me maternity leave. I worked really really hard before I went on maternity leave and feel their good treatment is a kind of reward for that.Of course they are obliged to provide certain rights but they’ve gone above that really. I felt a bit awkward that I am pregnant again after only being back a year but look forward to returning and contributing again in the future. I DO think that big business and government can absorb the impact that losing staff on maternity leave has but small businesses must struggle. I DID resent one team member saying ‘we knew it was only a matter of time’ when I announced baby # 2 and frankly, I’ve been given much less interesting work since baby #1. I feel its the trade off for the time of life I’m in right now. The main carer makes those sacrifices I guess.

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  8. Ross Clennett

    We will know something has shifted in the world of recruitment and work once men start reporting that in job interviews they are asked ‘are you planning to become a father and if yes are you then planning on requesting extended paternity leave?’

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    • anon this time

      LOL yes that’s true.

      A male colleague in another company chose to take 12 months paternity leave as is partner was the main bread winner.

      I can tell you his boss and co-workers were furious about it and couldn’t believe he’d done it. I think their anger was probably more to do with his last minute decision to exercise this right, rather than given a few weeks notice.

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  9. Kiwi

    If I was asked – I’d outright lie.
    In fact….
    I interviewed for a new job in a new industry when I was 8 weeks pregnant with my first. I was changing industries purely because I knew it would be more child friendly – and as a result I now make a great living working 2 days a week freelancing (in the new industry) from home.

    However, not only did I not disclose my early pregnancy, I was so aware/afraid of being discriminated against I even removed my wedding and engagement rings and let them assume I was single. I knew I’d done the right thing when I saw the recruiter glance at my left hand within minutes of me arriving for the interview.

    I got the job but held off telling them till I was 16 weeks (and I show EARLY – belly button pops people guess about 10-12 weeks for me)… but only because I’d had weeks of bleeding. Luckily my wee boy stayed put but hell, NO WAY was I telling anyone anything till I knew what was happening. My boss was amazing when I told her – after all, what could she do.

    My life, my career, my choices. And I would do it again in a heartbeat as that white lie/deception/whatever you call it gave me 7 months experience in an industry that I now run my own business in. I can now fulfill both my career dreams and be at home with my kids… can’t ask for more than that.

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    • anon

      you have a right not to say anything especially before 12 weeks, but at the same time this is why employers want to ask invasive questions like this, because people apply for jobs, get them and then piss off on maternity leave for 12 months and then come back part time when a role needs someone full time. especially when you’d also have not acquired the appropriate leave for all the doctors appointments involved (and we all know a 1hr appt turns into half a day given how long you end up waiting)

      no easy answers but i can see both sides.

      a friend of mine applied for a job and in the end decided to tell them and she got the job regardless (it was a contract position)

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      • Kris2040

        You aren’t entitled to mat leave until you’ve done 12 months.

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        • anon

          ok but then either way they end up leaving within 8/9 months of starting, which is money spent in training and recruiting that person and they have to start allover again.

          that said good companies will get loyalty back if they realise the person is a good worker and they’ll invite them back down the track.

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          • Kris2040

            That’s right. I am on newstart, and even though I took certificates and stuff to Centrelink saying when bubs is due etc, I was still expected to apply for fulltime work knowing I was pregnant.

            There is a lot of talk about openness, loyalty etc, but that needs to go both ways. When I said I felt bad applying for stuff the guy at centrelink said “There’s no loyalty from companies, why be loyal to them?”

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  10. Singleinoz

    No I don’t think they shoudl ask – of course not.

    But man I wish there was a way I could tactfully point out that I am single very single and therefore have no plans in the immediate future to have a baby.

    I have what is sometimes called an “unstable” CV and a lot of the time it will come down to me and another girl (very female job) and the other girl gets the job because she is more stable… but they may be newly married looking for a job with mat leave benefits who knows (and man I would do it too).

    Doesn’t mean iether of us are better or worst for a job but I am getting judged on something the can ask about (my work history) but they can’t ask about future personal plans. ie they may be looking a replacement due to the other girl leaving tohave a baby meanwhile I may be in the role for 5 years years… who knows

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  11. Amanda

    The choice of career or family, if I ever have to make it (am 32 and single) is very black and white for me, irrespective of my employer. I work in the financial services industry – and I’m paid commission only – no annual leave, no sick leave etc – there is no maternity – or paternity leave in a job like mine, simple as that. You leave, and you leave your clients with someone else, you cant’ expect to come back after X amount of time and expect them to come back to you. You also won’t earn as much money as you’ll have to split the commission with whoever is looking after your clients – which is fair. For a 3 week holiday, its not such an issue, as if you have good colleagues they know you will cover for them in lieu of $ as they would for you. Unfortunately, that situation is VERY rare. A former colleague (male) decided to take a “sabbatical” 8 months or so a couple of years back to travel around Europe with his family as he’d made a lot of money trading for himself. We (myself and a couple of others) looked after his clients while he was away and to cut a long story short, most of those clients weren’t interested in going back to him when he came.He didn’t split his commission with me, so I was very unwilling to help him out (history of being a wanker basically) – but I helped his clients to help my other colleague who I felt was getting screwed over financially on the arrangement. There were other things going on that exacerbated the situation, but essentially, if you leave your clients in my industry you a) won’t earn any money and b) won’t have a business to come back to. I accept that, begrudgingly, as I have chosen to work in this particular job – and there are no other women who do what I do in my office :) . You can’t work from home either thanks ASIC! So if I ever fell pregnant, that would be the end of my career, and I’d want to make damn sure I was personally financially stable not to mention having a partner who was financially stable before I’d even consider planning to fall pregnant. There are no “part-time” or “flexible” work options in my job as far as I can see!

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    • Clairek

      Wow that really sucks Amanda!

      Pity that Abbott didn’t come into power you may have gotten paid maternity leave for 6 months at full pay.

      With Labour you’d need to survive on $570 a week!

      Good luck when the time comes!

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      • Faybian

        The country (or small businesses, or who ever was meant to pay that) couldn’t afford that, I’m sure most of us realize that.

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  12. Anonymous

    I got married at 26 (33 now) and have been asked at 2 job interviews since then “When are you planning on having children?”. I managed to silence the interviewer each time by responding “I can’t have children”. I got both jobs.

    I started a new job in November last year. In December I was offered a permanent contract. In January I went into work one day and resigned, effective immediately, leaving right now. We had FINALLY recieved the call we had waited for, for many years. You have been placed with an adopted baby.

    Should I have told my employer I was on an adoption waiting list, no. That call may have never happened. Just as someones pregnancy plans may not work out as expected (I know that story far too well). But I do think if someone applies for a job already pregnant and intends to leave within 3 months, it should be disclosed. That is only fair.

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    • glitter26

      Congrats on getting an adopted baby

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    • missk

      Congratulations on becoming a parent.

      While I am happy for you that your hopes of becoming a parent have come true, I can’t say that I respect your choice to quit your job with absolutely no notice whatsoever. Did it not occur to you that this choice might have had negative and serious repercussions on your employer? I guess if you need to return to the workforce at any time in the future you can only hope that your previous actions are not held against you.

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      • Anonymous

        In Australia it is a requirement of the Adoption that the primary care giver does not work for a minimum of 12 months. So I had NO choice. I was not eligable for Maternity Leave, we began transition with our daughter 3 days after the phone call, so leaving effective immediately was the ONLY option. I needed that 3 days to get everything ready for a baby that most people have 9 months to do.

        My employer was very happy for me, in fact my boss cried with happiness when I told her and wished me and my husband only the very best. My husband’s work, when he told them of our news immediately gave him a month off. While I appreciate your congratulations, I find your response a little rude. I did not hide a pregnancy for 9 months and then go, I am leaving as I am having a baby. I acted in the ONLY way I could and any employer with a heart would not hold my actions against me in the future.

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    • Evelyn

      Congratulations – this made me cry when I read it. I have several friends who for one reason or another cannot conceive and are currently battling out this route.

      I’m so happy for you and your partner, and for the lucky child you have adopted :)

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      • Anonymous

        Thank you Evelyn. It is a long hard journey and we are one of the lucky ones that have reached the end and been given the most amazing gift.

        You sound like you are a supportive friend to those you know travelling this path, its just what your friends need.

        :)

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    • Clairek

      Wow that’s awesome news! Congratulations!

      Don’t listen to the haters below – so rude!

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    • Lu

      Oh wow! Congratulations, you are so blessed.

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  13. Jade Mum of 3

    I find it important to be honest – when I finished uni I started applying for jobs and had several offers based on my internships.

    Life being what it is, I discovered I was pregnant before a final interview – a happy accident. My husband (a manager for goodness sakes) told me under no circumstances to tell the employer that I was expecting. I decided to be honest, and of course I didn’t get the job. I was offered a contract position which I initially happily accepted, until I realised they had offered one of my male classmates the same contract at double pay.

    At the time I was ropable, but this was ten years ago. Being honest cost me a job, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

    Whether a company has a right or no right to ask such questions, they will. Its their bottom line, and to them its not personal. At this stage in my life with three children, I understand how working mothers are viewed and know that the perception won’t change anytime soon. I changed my own attitude, and I’m happier for it. My part time work helps pay the mortgage and I have more time to spend with my children.

    A few comments here talked about feminism being about choice – its spot on. As a woman you have some hard choices to make, but having the freedom to make them is what counts.

    I’ve really enjoyed reading the responses to this story and the differing opinions.

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  14. Free Human Being

    An employer should fundamentally have the right to ask if a person intends on having a child, is pregnant or anything else they think is pertinent to the effective running of their business.

    Your business is your property and is the result of your investment and hard work.

    As a business owner your freedom to make business decisions based on the full disclosure of information is your right. Any attack on such a right is an attack on the freedom of an individual.

    As an employer you deserve to know if a person who you wish to employ is not going to do the job you ask of them.

    It’s that simple.

    To the doubters…

    My wife’s company (literally HER company) had a recruitment drive and hired 6 new staff whom were all trained for 3 weeks with pay.

    One of these was a pregnant lady, who kept the fact hidden and had no intention of working at the company.

    She quit after the training when the company found out she was pregnant.

    She cost my wife $2100 and netted zero productivity.

    Why on earth should that cost be at the burden of a civilian running a business.

    My wife had the right to know that she was paying someone for nothing, for a job the person would never do.

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    • missk

      I am also an employer.

      I can understand the angst many women feel about being asked (and answering honestly) about any potential baby plans and any bias they might encounter, I think that if you are pregnant during the interview you should have to disclose that fact.

      I read so much stuff on this website about how unfairly women in the workplace are treated, in particular working mums, but no one seems to acknowledge that perhaps the kind of behaviour described in this post and others has on employers’ perceptions of working mothers or just women in general.

      If you want to be treated with fairness you need to give it too.

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    • Ecidnac

      I’d love to hear the pregnant woman’s side of the story.

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  15. Etta

    Nobody else’s business.

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  16. Little Miss Moi

    I would never tell anyone my baby plans in an interview. Same as I wouldn’t tell them I’m thinking of buying a house, or going on an overseas holiday. Both of those can be life changing too.

    Not to mention the fact that me and my husband hardly know our baby plans (ooops!), why should a panel of strangers?

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  17. L.

    Everybody seems to be advocating lying to get a job… Whether in an interview or conversationally.
    Why would you want to lie to get a job? If you want to have kids and lie about it, you may end up in a place that is not very accommodating to parents. It may be a dream role, but a job is made up of the workplace environment and people you work with as much as it is about the role you are filling. Wouldn’t you want to work in a place where you could be open and feel supported for your choices rather than having to try to hide who you really are and what you really want out of life?

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    • Me

      You are right – in an ideal world. But the fact is a lot of people don’t have the luxury of being able to be very fussy about their employer. Sometimes people just need a job, and to be able to pay the bills.

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    • Gee Jen

      ‘why would you lie to get a job’ -(sorry a little off topic) i don’t know seems stupid to me but when preparing for interviews we have to come up with a ‘fake’ weakenss and turn it into a positive I HATE that question, I’m happy to discuss my weaknesses – i know i have them but instead i say i’m a bad organiser hence i use a diary and other strategies to help me manage it – blah!

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    • gosh golly

      The point is L, nobody should have to lie or tell the truth on this one – it’s illegal for a potential employer to ask these questions during an interview.

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  18. anon this time

    I’ve just found out I’m pregnant, but haven’t told my employer.

    I plan to hold off as long as I can because:

    1. A restructure is imminent and I want to be in the future org structure!
    2. My job is a 2 year contract (although I am permanent) as I replaced a guy who moved interstate on a 2 year contract. I am due the month before he is due to return.

    Although my results in the job have far outweighed his previous performance, I’m nervous that I’ll get shunted aside for the good ol’ boy! It is a specialised field and it will make sense for him to go into my role, even if only temporarily. Likely he’ll get a leg up while I’m home breastfeeding and doing diapers. It’s not possible to have it all is it? I also work in a male dominated industry where penises, golf and beer drinking ability seem to count for a lot.

    All I can do is keep my work ethic solid, be reliable, keep delivering good results and hope for the best. I’ve learnt this because a couple of women I’ve worked with have become lazy, unreliable and poor team players when pregnant and upon return from maternity leave. One came back part time and never really mentally engage or gave a sh*t about letting her team mates down. The other one took 12 monmths off and has now been given another 6 months off (and yes it’s legal girls).

    I’ll probably eat my words for judging them when I’m in the same boat though because I know it musn’t be easy. Gulpp!!

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    • Lu

      A lot of women dont want to return to work after maternity leave. They would rather be at home with their baby but cant afford to. It might seem that these women are slacking off or not engaging with their work, but they could honestly be feeling sick about leaving their babies and being at work is the last place they want to be.
      I came to the end of my 12 months maternity leave with my first child and returning to work and leaving my daughter was something I just couldnt do so I resigned. I was fortunate to have that choice.

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      • anon this time

        Yep that’s true Lu. I already don’t want to go back but finances will dictate me going back.

        I did feel a bit guilty overnight for the comments I made amount my colleagues, but I still don’t think it’s an excuse not to do the work you are paid to do.

        Hopefully I am not the same! Probly will be tho. LOL

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      • Cat lady

        Yes, that is unfortunate, and I can appreciate it’s not easy for them, but it’s really not the boss’ or colleagues’ problem. All they know is whether or not she’s doing her job properly. If she isn’t, how is that fair to everyone else? Not to mention anyone who could have her job and perform well. If someone in her family died, she or her spouse got ill or were in an accident, fair enough, a bit of leeway is fair and kind, but pregnancy/child-rearing are not an illness or disability.

        And (can of worms- people are going to loathe me for this coment) how is it responsible to go ahead and have a kid you can’t afford?

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    • jennome

      Diapers?? We use nappies in this country.

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      • Kate.

        if you’re not constructive, dont reply… and you obviously knew what she was talking about so you just look rude, petty and out to feel bigger.

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      • Melissa

        I assume the commenter is American – they have the internet in other countries you know.

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    • Moi

      I think you will eat your words, just wait til you have baby brain! and then wait til you return to work and are judged for needing the odd bit of time off to care for a sick child – as if you have a choice!

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  19. MBK'sMum

    I’m a stay at home mum doing a very little bit of paid work from home. Our main breadwinner is The Man sitting next to me, currently studying. He’s an odd one who always enjoyed going for job interviews as an applicant. Curiously, in his role now, he’s less comfortable having to ‘hire or fire’.

    Anyway, his employers are *very* family focused. He’s had time off for our children, including the birth of our third child (he didn’t have this dream job during the birth of our first two). He appreciates their flexibility and as such, is eager to help them out in return. It’s a happy working relationship, where everyone ‘wins’.

    There is no reason to judge women any differently these days if men are given the same family considerations. If you’re not asking a man if he’s going to try to be an expectant father any time soon, then don’t ask a women if she’s going to try to fall pregnant.

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    • Hear Mum Roar

      Well, that’s just crazy enough to work!

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  20. J

    As someone who is currently thinking about having kids soon as is also likely to be out of a job due to cutbacks.., this is a very real issue for me. I’m about to turn 30, am unmarried but live with my boyfriend and I want kids. I KNOW that when I go for an interview they are going to think “no wedding ring… will probably get married… no kids… will probably take maternity leave… not worth it” And, unfortunately, I live in Europe where, although still illegal to ask such things, it’s commonly done. Here, you still HAVE TO send photos with your resume or you won’t get any callbacks. NONE. So no, I don’t think I should have to say anything. And, if asked, I’d lie. Someone may say “no, never want kids” and have an ooops moment. No one would judge her. But if I openly say I want kids, all of a sudden I’m not a fit employee? Bullshit! I wouldn’t expect to have to tell anyone interviewing me my religion, sexual preferences or how often I get sick… why are babies any different?

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  21. The Other Side..

    I think it’s time for a reality check guys. This is not an anti-women policy so if the feminist rants could stop we might find some legitimate points being raised. I’ll try to address a few of the points previously raised as well as ask you all to actually consider what losing a staff member actually means to a workforce or company.

    1. When did the employees rights come before the employer? An employer should be able to make a decision that is in their best interest. And guess what; a person wanting an extended period of maternal/paternal leave may not be the best candidate for many employers; along with anyone else expecting to take large amounts of leave for any other personal choice. And it goes without saying that some employers might not care how many kids they’re potential employees are planning for. This ‘entrapment’ or ‘surprise’ scenario everyone is gunning for is down-right deceitful. Planning for a family is a choice and men/women need to accept the sacrifices that come along with it. Which could include forgoing your dream job?

    2. The decision to not select a particular person because they have demonstrated a desire to start a family which will result in either, a) a reduced workload due to a female actually being pregnant (specifically in a manual labor task) or b) an expectation for either a male/female to be take maternal/paternal leave is not discriminating against females. At worst, it’s discriminating against females who intend to get pregnant (although, as above I’d argue the employer is doing what’s best for them), so we can drop the sexism arguments. Would it even be an issue if men were asked the same questions?

    3. With respect to the impact on employers. While most of your comments show a general tone of a right to privacy, guess what – the job of your choice is not a right! You have to be competitive for all jobs and when strategic planning is undertaken by ‘the big bad chauvinistic men in suits’, looking after your little newborn is may not be on their list of concerns. If the government wants it to be then it’s their responsibility to provide the employers with a financial incentive to give-up a potentially infinite loss of capability that is a real concern for some workplaces when a mother/father is on leave with a new born.

    4. There are always two sides to an argument and I’ve only seen one comment that begins to accept the difficulty faced by the employer. Not all employers are the same; they’re not all massive corporations with the ability to absorb the gap from an individual on paternity/maternity leave. Some small businesses would be virtually crippled or forced to remain developmentally stagnant while a senior manager is away. And to remove an employer’s ability to try and employ people that will minimise this occurring is just another form of over-legislation. In some jobs/positions neither the employee nor the employer lose when a family decides to have children, however when the decision to keep the potential parenting plans secret ends in the employer making sacrifices – the relevant legislation will affect the big and small employers.

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    • ClaireC

      Personally I agree with everything you’ve said, but watch the furious comments pile up because you dared challenge the widespread view on this website that women can do just as they please and anyone who dares question their choices gets a barrage of angry reponses. I admire your bold attempt to give the other side of the story and hope that people can see it.

      Prospective employees pick and choose who they would like to work for based on all sorts of selfish reasons, but for some reason employers are not allowed to do the same.

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      • Cat lady

        Just as an aside- could we change the “women” and “feminist” to “*some* mothers” or “some women”? I am a woman and a feminist and I agree with you. Don’t assume we’re all the same. But nor am I about to align myself with the conservative “feminism’s to blame for society’s ills” crowd, thankyouverymuch.

        I don’t think mothers shouldn’t leave the house, or give up work if they don’t want to. To me, feminism is about choice. I made a choice not to have kids, others made the choice to have kids. This is perfectly valid. My issue is with *people* (male, female, it doesn’t matter) who think it’s the employer’s job to accommodate that choice, and expect to be able to change the terms of their employment because they wanted to have a baby.

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        • Maggie

          You say you are a feminist – this is an anti woman view.

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          • Free Human Being

            What if the employer is women?

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          • Evey

            Pollycock. It’s not anti woman. It’s pro employer (male OR female). If you are considering taking six months (or more..!) off work for ANY OTHER REASON you would be obligated to disclose it in an interview. Not forced, obligated. The very reason you wouldn’t tell someone your plans to have a baby is that you think you might not get the job. So you are advocating being deliberately deceitful when you have no intention of staying in the job.

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          • Cat lady

            I reiterate:

            “My issue is with *people* (male, female, it doesn’t matter) who think it’s the employer’s job to accommodate that choice, and expect to be able to change the terms of their employment because they wanted to have a baby.”

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    • Emma

      You’ve raised some valid points here, though I do not agree with the principle behind them. I think in your first point, though, you’ve confused something. It is not the right of an employer to know someones personal reproduction plans or patterns. If an employer and employee have the kind of relationship where such information can be discussed without fear of repercussions, then this may become a privelege. As far as I see it, the employer has the right to choose an employee based on the information they gain through the CV, references, interview process and social media, if they so choose. This goes the other way: how many people have begun new jobs thinking their responsibilities were one thing and found the reality was another?

      I disagree strongly with your accusations of “entrapment”. Please do not tar all women of child bearing age who are in relationships (or not), with the same brush. If you had read all the comments below properly, you would have learned that pregnancy and the ability to achieve that state, is unpredictable.

      I also find your comments in the final point you make short-sighted. Have you not heard of maternity leave positions, where someone takes on the position for 12 months or so to fill the void? Yes, I *know* that small businesses might not be able to afford this/it might disrupt them too much (I have worked for a small business). There are many instances however, where such an option is viable. An employee being on maternity leave does not mean that one persons work is not done during the period of leave.

      I did start by saying I thought your points were valid, though the more I went back over them, the more I felt they reflect a very detached, almost anti family view of the workplace. There was something very “Brave New World”ish about the comments you made, but we are not all alphas, betas, gammas, deltas and epsilons with a singular specific purpose for society. Surely we should be able to enjoy living in a society where we can work if we choose and also raise children if we choose, without fearing the ramifications from employers.

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      • Krissy

        “This goes the other way: how many people have begun new jobs thinking their responsibilities were one thing and found the reality was another?”

        Amen to that!

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    • Maggie

      I can’t believe that there is no recognition of the socially useful role of those who are prepared to make the sacrifces to create the employees of the future. Your vision of society is sadly limited and fails to tkae into account the broader advantages of accomodating women’s needs for greater flexibility in employment. Should your concerns be predominant no woman with any ambition in the workplace could ever fall pregnant – look to Japan ( pre disaster) to see the effects of this.
      And there is legislation precluding employeers from discrimination on the basis of gender (which is what you are advocating. Thank goodness this view is in the minority.

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      • Cat lady

        “I can’t believe that there is no recognition of the socially useful role of those who are prepared to make the sacrifces to create the employees of the future.”

        Oh, please. This is trotted out every time this debate comes up. You’re not having kids for altruistic purposes. You’re having them because you want them. Which is fine, but don’t paint yourself as a martyr for making a choice that is no more or less selfish or selfless than those of us who choose not to.

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        • J

          Agree Cat Lady 100%, what a ridiculous argument pretending you are having kids for the greater good, yeah right!

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        • Anotherview

          I dont think she meant she was having kids for the greater good! I dont change nappies and have sleepless nights because I am worried about who will pay taxes to support YOU in your old age. People who choose not to have children, should acknowledge it is our children who will pay takes and run society for your benefit. If everyone decided not to have children, there would be no future? Over populated India or China is not going to pay takes to run Medicare in Australia in the future. Look at Europe now…

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        • Maggie

          Why be so nasty? Why assume I even have kids? I am presenting an argument based on logic not personal attacks. I may even BE an employer, for all you know! Calling someone’s argument “ridiculous” is not a subsititute for logic.

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    • Anonymous

      Completely agree. Unfortunately just home from seminar on Fair Work. Hmmmph. Employers have NO rights – very scary stuff!

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      • Lisa

        Oops that was me – sorry didn’t mean to be anon.

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    • Lu

      I absolutely agree with everything you have said, there is a sense of entitlement among some women. And some women cant accept that parenting comes with added responsibilites that will make them an unsuitable candidate for some jobs.
      I have decided not to return to the workforce until my children are much older and not so reliant upon me when they are on school holidays, sick, need transporting to after school activities and want me to attend their special school assemblies etc. etc.
      I know for a fact I would be a pain in the arse to employ. Because my kids will come first and I wont go to work when they have a special assembly they want me to attend, are sick, on holidays, need to be driven to after school activities or have a swimming carnival.
      I dont believe I am entitled to a fabulous job just because I am a woman, have a degree and I want it. As a mum with infants and primary school aged children I wouldnt think I was being descriminated against if I didnt get my dream job. I would think the employer was being fair to themselves and taking the most suitable person. Because honestly, unless parents have a huge circle of support to take over the home front for them, family responsibilies do impact on your ability and availability to work.

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      • Anonymous

        Love your response Lu, agree with everything you said. I was sure that The Other Side’s comments would envoke much vitriol, but am pleased to see that this was one debate on this site that could have turned out very heated but everyone has been very pleasant! How nice it is to have a proper online discussion and share ideas without the nastiness that sometimes comes.

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    • Lindy

      Can we clarify some things? I am 24, I plan on having children one day, maybe 5, maybe 10 years away yet. Do I have to let them know that I do plan on having children at all at some stage of my life, or say should you only let them know if its planned for the next 6 – 12 months? Where’s it end?

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  22. MelB

    If I have to disclose my family planning timeline does my prospective employer then need to guarantee me I will never be made redundant, that the company will never go broke, that my career progression is guaranteed? Employers tell all sorts of furfies about positions to get good candidates in the door, why should women sabotage their career prospects by detailing their baby plans? It is a real issue – i became pregnant in the period between jobs and had to tell my new boss i was pregnant 3 weeks into a new job. Fortunantly he was very understanding and stopped his manager firing me. Many jokes were made at my expense over the next 3 years, but I proved my worth (and returned to work full time 12 weeks after my daughter was born). I am now working for a great company where I truthfully disclosed that i was not planning any more children in the interview – they were horrified that I felt the need to say so and this is indicative of their flexible attitude to mothers in the workplace.

    It is wrong to have to do it, but the reality is that raising the issue yourself can be a good litmus test of how you are likely to be treated – having figured out that I would not want to work anywhere that had an issue with mothers in the work place, it is a policy that definitely works for me.

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  23. Shay Whitton

    Hmmm as an employer and mum of 3 who was an employee when I decided to get pregnant this is a tough one to answer. As an employee I would not have said anything specific until I was 13 weeks + as it would have been a big deal at work. As it turned out my husband started a company while i was pregnant and i had to leave my high powered job to get pregnant! As a business owner I would like to know so we can plan, reasoning being is that i know your priorities change SOOO much when you have kids maternity leave can turn into not coming back at all. The costs of planning this and paying for it from the company concern me as it could add more costs that they employer has to bare and for SME’s this can be a challenge. That said I love employing mums (so does my husband who works in the business as well we have 35 staff and a 50 50 split of men woman with a mix of couples with kids who work in the company as well). I find mums more dedicated, unflappable and despite the challenge of working around kids being sick and the school assembly, they work to get the job done. As long as the jobs they do in the early years are not too deadline driven (speaking from personal experience of trying to be an over achiever) it works. We always say ‘family first’ as in the end its just a job and will be there when you get back.

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    • Melissa

      That’s it. I don’t have kids myself, but I can honestly say that some of the most efficient people I have worked with have been mums working limited hours. They have to be!

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  24. sam

    I have been asked if I have stand by child care arrangements if I should need them. I wanted to respond isn’t that what carers leave is for. But no I just waffled on about a supportive partner and grandparents nearby.

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  25. Bec

    Whether or not a woman is planning on children is no one’s business! I have 3 children and shortly after commencing my current role my boss asked me if I was planning on having anymore. I promptly replied that I hadn’t planned the last one let alone anymore! We laughed it off and it was all said in jest but I was offended by his questions.

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    • Melissa

      If you were someone struggling with infertility, that question would be heartbreaking.

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  26. Charlies

    I’d take my wedding band off and lie through my teeth if a prospective employer asked me about my family plans. There is no way a woman in her 20s or 30s who states that she is planning a family would get a job over a male with equivalent quals/ experience.

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  27. Emma

    This is ridiculous. I am 22, getting married in June and definitely thinking about kids in the next couple of years. Despite the obvious discrimination that goes along with being asked such a question in an interview (or even later on in negotiations or the like), what I wonder about is how employers will react to the uncertainty of something such as pregnancy and fertility.

    I say this because while I hope to be pregnant in 2 years roughly, I can not control it. I do not know if it will happen easily, or take awhile, or if trying to get pregnant will show up some reason why I can’t. How can I say to an employer (not that I would, but hypothetically), that I am planning to have kids in x amount of years, when I have no idea what my fertility will do??

    I think any employer who thinks they can use this as a recruitment condition/criteria is kidding themselves. I agree with what Kate Ellis said, how employers are mandated to hire based on merit. If they are allowed to hire based on one’s baby plans (essentially based on whether you are male or female), then no woman under 40 will ever be able to get a job.

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  28. JosieY

    I would like to share my experiences here. I work from home as a music tutor, as well as in schools. When I had my first baby I stopped working in schools and just worked from home… perfect. Now I’m pregnant again I’m winding up at my schools and just working from home again. Fabulous, no problems here. The thing is, I’m training to become a priest and the program has certain time requirements, not to mention I’m planning on breast feeding this littlie just as I did my first… which means taking her with me on our various training programs. Problem? Nope. My group/Church couldn’t be happier for me, is happy for me to take as much (or little) time off as I need and will welcome me, boobs and baby at any time. This is how you do it, my friends.

    I know this is slightly different, but it’s another aspect of this issue…

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  29. Amandarose

    It goes both ways- I don’t think it is fair to make commitments you can’t keep I. E Take an important jobnifnyournplanning on leaving because of pregnancy. It is a moral issue and it is in a woman interest to not stuff employers around. The law at the moment is fair- work a year to entitled to Maternity leave.

    But people do discriminate. And I am feeling the brunt of it now. I lost my job last Christmas and have since been shuffling about partly working for myself and looking for some regular part time work. I have had plenty of work but all temporary and many time being pushed aside or overlooked by a man or a childless single.

    I get it- People all discriminate and I can see why. My advice for women starting a family- organise part time work before getting pregnant- I had two part time jobs one I left after the baby the other I returned to after a few months. No one was inconvenienced.

    By treating employers well you hopefully receive good treatment in return.

    I don’t think it would be good to allow employers to ask. I really isn’t there business

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  30. KatInEurope

    In Germany, where we have extensive parent leave programmes, it is becoming more and more difficult for women of childbearing age to actually get a job because of the presumption that women will get pregnant and stay off work for 3 years (as is the law here).
    And there’s a concept in Germany of the Ravenmutter:
    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/18/world/europe/18iht-women.html?_r=1&ref=world
    The vast majority of working mums I know here are expats.
    Childcare, despite generous parental leave, is seen as women’s work, which is a real step back for those from the East, who under communist rule had far greater childcare provisions.

    Is it discriminatory? Yes.
    Is it outlawed? Yes.
    Does it still happen? DEFINITELY.

    More legislation doesn’t automatically mean that attitudes change, sorry!

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  31. Elli

    I can’t believe that this question is even being raised here in the 21st century!!

    My answer to the title question question is simple: No. Never. None of their effing business.

    If a person of either gender has a very senior executive job that would take months to find another candidate for, then I guess the employer has a right to know that the new employee has no plans to take significant time off, whether the reason is maternity leave, paternity leave, or whatever.

    But for the rest of us, no way. And besides, what do ‘plans’ have to do with babies LOL? If asked that question, someone could just say No and, when they do conceive, say ‘it wasn’t planned’.

    Now that paternity leave is possible and women are earning enough for it to be financially advantageous, in some cases, for the man to be the main carer of the baby, why is this question being asked only of women?

    Lord Sugar should crawl back into the dark ages where he belongs.

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    • JJ

      Exactly what I was going to say. The Paid Parental Leave Act and Fair Work Act does not provide ‘maternity leave’ at all – it provides leave to the primary carer of the child. In other words, not just women. Men are increasingly accessing parental leave as well, so should we be asking men if they have wives of child bearing age or that they intend to adopt and take parental leave in the future? What a crock.

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  32. Anonymous

    I wrote recently having suffered sex discrim for the first time at age 42. I’m done having kids but I do have one with special needs and I need to be home on time.

    What I would say to anyone in this position is take your wedding ring off and LIE, LIE, LIE.

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    • Anon

      Oh my goodness, your situation must be hard enough as it is :(

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  33. hepzibah

    Okay, being completely honest – if I were interviewing for a role I realllly wanted, I would more than likely let it slip that after having had two sons (now at school with good grandparents nearby, ie my family commitments shouldn’t affect my job performance, I have a stable suppoer system already) I am not able or interested in having any more children – all I want is a steady role (which will help with the mortgage) that I will commit to for the next 3-5-10 years.

    In other words – would I play up my complete disinterest in having children to an interviewer? Yes, absolutely. Surely this is human nature – the urge to sabotage another you are competing against?

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  34. Kat Kohl

    Just another opportunity to discriminate against women. As other have said there are myriad other reasons people might up and leave a job – travel, sickness, sudden desire for a lifestyle change.

    Barnaby – ugh. No words. Let’s just assume that he’s being a dickhead on purpose..

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    • yep

      I assumed that long ago.

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  35. Anonymous

    what about men? why aren’t they asked about their plans to have a baby? i understand that having a baby doesnt affect their ability to work as much as it does a women, but some men nowdays are choosing to take more time off when they have a baby, and be active in caring for the baby etc…

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  36. Evelyn

    I thought I had a good relationship with my boss, until we had a meeting about me returning to work part time after my maternity leave. He has managed to stay just within the legal guidelines, but has said he now has ‘no use for me’ in a part time capacity and has offered me other roles within the company which amount to a demotion. I feel as if I’m being forced to resign, and all my hard work prior to my maternity leave was a waste of time and effort (I certainly never got paid overtime for my 12 hr days, and this while I was 39 weeks pregnant aswell). I feel deflated and discarded, but need to remain professional in order to get a good reference. Yes, it sucks to be a woman sometimes.

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    • Lisa

      As an employer, I understand this – surely if you are asking for a change of circumstance you need to accept your role will also alter??

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      • Tea

        What is the point of allowing people to take maternity leave if it means that they will not be permitted to return to the position that they originally held and that they are essentially at the mercy of their employer? I think it defeats the purpose of a maternity leave scheme if you are demoted just for using it and it definitely doesn’t represent a move towards greater equality.

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        • P

          returning to the role you originally held isn’t quite the same when you’re asking for part-time hours though is it?

          I’m a woman, and recently married, so children are defintely ‘on my radar’ but I really wonder whether after maternity leave I would be able to return to my current role part-time – I don’t see how it’s possible to split duties and avoid being called on non-working days.

          Having said that, I’ve done everything I can to accomodate other women’s preferences when returning to work post-baby, but ‘returning to your job’ means just that – not wanting to do the same role but with less hours. I think if you do want to cut down your hours you need to be realistic that it could mean a change in working circumstance – particularly if you’re at a senior level, managing many staff. Having a part-time manager isn’t really fair to anyone.

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        • LauraS

          Maternity leave entitles you to come back to an equivalent role when you return to work. If you want to go part time, it’s no longer an equivalent role.

          There is no way I could do my job part time effectively. If my husband and I have kids in the next few years, and he isn’t able to stay home with them while I work, I will need to accept a demotion. Sad, but true.

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          • Evelyn

            Just to clarify, I am not management, I’m an assistant and roles can be shared in this instance.

            Lisa & P & Laura S: I had every right to expect it as several other assistants were afforded the opportunity to work part time and job share. However, I was the last to fall pregnant, so it goes. I had every intention of working F/T in the near future, but that of course is irrelevant, in the same way its irrelevant whether a female ‘plans’ to get pregnant.

            I don’t post online for this reason – I just wanted to get it off my chest and instead had several females try to be witty and post their opinion to make themselves feel better. If you have something to say, open your own post. Don’t hijack someone else’s and make them feel worse than they already do.

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            • Krissy

              Sometimes semantics (e.g. over the definition of what is equivalent) gets in the way of decency. It would be nice to think that cause you put in all that hard work and extra hours that you would be considered a loyal and good employee and they would accommodate you for the period you wanted to go part time.

              Sadly this hasn’t been the case for you. This reminds me of an incident that occurred at the real estate recently that I work at. At one of the rental properties a tree collapsed broke a fence and knocked down the neighbours clothes line. The neighbour was an elderly pensioner struggling to make ends meet. Surprisingly the insurance company said to the landlord of the rental property that she didn’t need to pay the man ANYTHING for the damaged clothes line.

              You probably wonder why I digress with this story. The reason is that we are suck sticklers to guidelines and legislation we let common decency go out the window. I understand it is there to protect people and agree we should have it, but sometimes it is used as a bare minimum companies can get away with giving and doesn’t take context into consideration.

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            • LauraS

              Hi Evelyn, I wasn’t trying to have a go at you so sorry if it came across that way. I was responding to Tea, who asked what the point of offering Mat leave is if you don’t permit people to come back to the same position (which is why I have responded to her comment, not yours). I was simply pointing out that their only obligation is to offer you exactly what you left, nothing more.

              Personally, I would love to see more part time options, as I am planning to have kids soon and hate to think of myself back at work 5 days a week. But the reality is that it doesn’t suit my employer, and they are not obligated to provide it.

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            • J

              Evelyn, why so defensive? I understand you are upset about your situation but this is a discussion post, people respond to one another on every thread on this website, it’s not like they just did it to you. That’s the whole point. I think most people are just sharing their opinion on the topic, not trying to be witty or make themselves feel better. Besides, I think most people here were responding to Tea’s comment anyway.

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            • P

              Evelyn, I was responding to Tea’s comment as well, which is why i put it under hers, not yours. Equivalent job means the same work, and workload, which if you want to go part time (which I completely understand, and have worked hard to accomodate for many of my staff) it’s not the same job.

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    • m

      Evelyn, a similar thing happened to me.

      i raised the option of sharing the managers role i had left, and said i was willing to the more mundane tasks and was told “i’ll have to think about that and get back to you” 3 days later i had paperwork in the mail saying i had agreed that it was best that i took on a lesser role. i felt like i had little choice but to sign if i wanted to return to work there.

      i never expected to return to a managers position on a part time basis, but i could certainly have shared with the MAN who replaced me and it would have been more beneficial for him than me.

      i worked so hard to get promoted and even harder after that and i just had to choose. i’m so glad i chose my family, my boss and my replacement have really shown their true colours over the last few years, making the team miserable and i’m so relieved to not be a part the management.

      glad i got that off my chest.

      ps. i think a woman’s baby plans are between her and the other baby-maker.

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  37. Anonymous

    Do employers ask young (late teens, early20s) interviewees what their travel plans are? Surely upping and leaving after a year on the job to travel or “do the London thing” would also disrupt things? Do they ask men in their 30s if they look after themselves to avoid early heart disease? People move jobs after less time than it takes to grow a baby because they get a better offer, or are bored or whatever. Employers must know that managing people coming and going is a part of their job.

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    • Amandarose

      Exactly. Well put

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    • m

      well said.
      my boss held jobs for two 20-something girls while they travelled. both for at least 3 months and while we were short staffed everyone else had to pick up the slack. well, not him of course.

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    • Anon this time

      I couldn’t agree more. Other petinent questions could include:

      Are you an alcoholic?
      Do you have a gambling problem that will impact my business?
      Are you currently or in the near future likely to be going through a divorce?
      Do you have any suspicions that your partner may be cheating on you?
      Does anyone in your family have a drug problem?

      These questions come directly from my experience as a manager with staff (and in some instances from those senior to me). All of the above scenarios created serious disruption to my workplace for extended periods however each instance was managed with compassion and flexibility for the employee involved.

      It’s a pity the mothers in my workplace were not treated with the same respect.

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  38. Guest from Perth

    Mia, what’s your view? When you were interviewing for your website (or home help) positions would you have wanted to know “baby plans” (as an employer) so you could foresee what would happen to that role or do you think it’s a private matter?

    This is purely a curious question.

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  39. Elena

    People leave their jobs for all kinds of reasons. You arent required to fill your prospective employer or current boss on all the possible reasons you might leave your job- nor should you be.
    If you are required to answer questions about child bearing, then you should also declare:
    -plans to leave work to travel (many young people have 2-3 year time horizon plans for long term travel)
    -plans to leave if you ever get sick or your partner or parents get ill
    -when you are actively looking for another role, even if there is no guarantee that you will get the other role you are applying for.

    Pregnancy plans are hardly definite. There is no guarantee that you will get pregnant, or if you can get pregnant how long it will take. In my mind it is the same as any other reason for leaving a job.

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  40. Sam

    Imagine how cranky my husband’s boss was when he took 5 months paternity leave to care for our daughter and 18 months later another 5 months leave to care for our son (something he is leagally entitled to do I might add)? Asking just women about their baby plans is ridiculous. Asking anyone about their baby plans is discriminatory and wrong.

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  41. I see both sides

    I have written previously today. Due to working extra hard to maintain my job whilst pregnant, I worked through illness without taking any time off work and found myself in labour at 23/4ish weeks. Honestly, my employers did not give a sh=t. They just wanted results. They came to me in hospital whilst I was in premature labour and told me that if I couldn’t achieve what I could before, then I should just leave. This is when the ‘negotiation’ started.
    The’main man’ that orchestrated my demise became a casualty of his own existence: his wife developed breast cancer. He is a father of five, reliant on his wife at home – with breast cancer. I believe in karma the positive way, yet I believe this man has discovered karma the hard way. His wife did not deserve breast cancer, also I did not deserve premature labour because of the stress of my job. Would love some feed back!

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    • Faybian

      Yes he has. Are you still at that job?

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    • Eliska Jeffrey

      Oh wow I am so sorry.That is just plain cruel,how could they do that to you ?

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    • redballoon

      The situation sounds awful and i can’t believe you were intruded upon whilst you were in labour! Just freakin’ dreadful.
      However I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this karma thing.
      Is it fair to equate some poor woman’s breast cancer with her husbands opportunity to learn a cosmic lesson?

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      • Faybian

        I think the karma is in the opportunity to feel someone else’s pain/feel pain for someone else, not the cancer itself.

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  42. fee283

    As an EA, i have quite a close relationship with my boss. We have often discussed what will happen when I do become pregnant one day. He has also said he will pull my fiance aside when I get engaged to congratulate him & ensure he knows all about contraception [while laughing of course]. Because of our communication, I know that he will be very excited for me when I do become pregnant [he will also be one of the first to know] & he will make it as easy as possible for me to return to work in whatever capacity I choose.

    Being as though I have no boyfriend, marriage & children are very far off, but discussing with him now, over lunch or coffee, makes things easier in the future. I wouldn’t have said anything at my interview, but then again he didn’t know how old I was, nor did has he ever seen my resume.

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  43. Niccola

    This subject is very much the biggest stress in my life at the moment. I have been off of work for a year after the birth of my son and am now looking at going back to work. I have had 3 interviews so far and at each interview I have been asked about my intentions for more children, despite the legalities of being able to ask this.
    I am left in the position to either joke it off, which usually leads to more questions. Or I can lie and say that I have no plans for more children, to which one manager said that no woman wants only one child!
    I need to work and I have a lot of experience, yet the main qualifying criteria seems to be my uterus. Men can have a child and there is no threat to their job prospects or career yet women get shut out regardless of their experience and what they have to offer.

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    • Dulcie

      Can you avoid mentioning that you already have a child?

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      • Niccola

        That is exactly what I am going to do and see how I go, but it is very hard to explain a gap year of employment.

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    • Silverdragon

      That is appalling, Niccola. Have you pointed out that they are not entitled to ask you that under law in Australia? It’s called discrimination and you could take them to the anti-discrimination board/commission (can’t remember what it’s called) if you feel you have been discriminated against.

      Then again, they could just claim you weren’t the most qualified applicant. Still crappy! :( Hope you can find a good position soon. Would your skills be relevant to a state/federal government position? You won’t get asked those questions in that context!

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      • Niccola

        You’re right and every time I get asked I’d love to point this out, but unfortunately that wouldn’t help me get a job either. As you say they can give any reason for why they won’t hire me so it is very hard to take them for discrimination. One
        Company even said I was over qualified!

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        • Lindy

          Thats terrible! Of course by pointing out that they cannot ask you such things will immediately lose you the job, its a lose lose situation. It sounds like these people arnt who you would want to be working for anyway!

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  44. Sal

    I was so cross reading this article on Sunday…like you would tell them…would they tell you? Picture the interview scene…interviewee asking potential new boss…so..when do you plan to have kids ?

    Career limiting move? Probably!

    I blogged yesterday on the same topic…you may find interesting
    http://Www.nourishcoaching.com/blog

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  45. CMB

    This article just proves that Australian AA/EEO legislation is still crappy, even 25 years after its introduction!

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  46. Jade Connor

    Whilst I understand the difficulties employers may face in the event of an employee’s pregnancy, this goes way too far. Our predecessors have campaigned long and hard so that we can enjoy this closely held personal right. Employment should be on merit, not based on whether a candidate may fall pregnant in the future. We all know that, even with the best of intentions and precautions, plans are capable of change and (even for those trying) pregnancy is by no means a certain outcome. Why should women be expected to shoot themselves in the foot by making a statement of intention (or unintention as the case may be) and affect their likelihood of success when the reality is we have very little control in Nature’s scheme of things. Women who have children are already disadvantaged in the workforce, as even a mother who returns to work almost immediately afterwards will have taken some time away from her job, compared to the majority of her male collegues. Do we really need to place ourselves in a position of further disadvantage? We’ve come too far to take a mammoth leap backwards in gender rights and equality.

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  47. Jayne

    This is an interesting issue and I can see both sides of the argument. It really is tough (not to mention expensive) for businesses to recruit and train someone only for them to go on a long break, but people need the flexibility to start a family when it is right.

    A few years ago when going through the interviews for my current job I remember being really worried that I would be passed over in favour of a man due to my ‘child bearing’ age.
    I was tempted to bring up the fact that I have no plans to have children, but thought better of it as I might change my mind on later down the track.

    Anyway, I’m really glad it didn’t factor into their decision to hire me.

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    • P

      I’m at this point right now. I’m 29 and just got married. I’m worried that within my current organisation this could limit opportunities for promotion. This isn’t helped by every person in the office clucking ‘you’ll be next…’ etc, whenever anyone has a baby.

      I’m seriously considering raising it with a few key offenders, telling them I’m not planning on having children straight away (and I’m not!) and that I’d appreciate it if they didn’t say that all the time as I’m worried it will hamper my career prospects.

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      • LauraS

        I’m in the same boat – 29, just married, people assuming I want a baby. I’m so worried that I’ll be looked over for promotions, exciting projects and pay rises, but I don’t know what to do about it!

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  48. Frankie Rose

    I haven’t read all the comments – I have never been asked the question in an interview but I think it is a completely unfair question to get anyone to respond to honestly. Simply by asking the interviewee is put into a situation where they may consider lying in case they don’t get the job. Are men asked this question? I know my husband never has been. If asked this question before having children I would be tempted to lie to give myself a better chance of getting the job, which may not be fair but then I don’t believe it’s fair to be asked it in the first place. No one is irreplaceable and employers should have to deal with an employee leaving their job for whatever reason, baby / moving interstate / etc.

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    • Jayne

      I would totally lie if I got asked!

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  49. suki

    Absolutely not, this is no ones business, be it a male or female employee. Lord Alan Sugar sounds like a dick who is at odds with both Aus and UK’s policies on the matter.

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  50. Karin

    I suspect we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. I’m childless by choice, having made the decision that parenthood wasn’t for me when I was 27. I’m now 43, and if anyone is wondering – I have NO regrets ;-)

    That said, I would have been reluctant to disclose my decision to potential employers in the past as many people have quite negative attitudes toward women who choose not to have kids. I actually feel relieved to have reached an age where people don’t automatically assume I’ll be getting pregnant soon.

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