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Screen shot 2012 01 23 at 11.25.57 AM 380x205 What are the three deadliest words in the world?

A still from the movie 'It's a girl'.

It’s a girl.

That is a seemingly innocent arrangement of three words which has caused the deaths and ‘disappearance’ of more than 200 million girls worldwide, mostly in India and China. That’s the United Nations estimate, by the way.

The three deadliest words in the world.

Let’s find another way of putting that into perspective, as mentioned in the film. India and China abort or kill more foetuses every year than are actually born in the United States.

Let that sink in.

The staggering statistics are created by a culture in many parts of South Asia that sees women as inferior. A uterus is not desirable in these countries because men are seen as the providers. Ram Mashru writes in The Independent:

“Gendercide in South Asia takes many forms: baby girls are killed or abandoned if not aborted as foetuses. Girls that are not killed often suffer malnutrition and medical neglect as sons are favoured when shelter, medicine and food are scarce. Trafficking, dowry deaths, honour killings and deaths resulting from domestic violence are all further evils perpetrated against women. This femicide has led the Geneva Centre for Democratic Control of Armed Forces to report in ‘Women in an Insecure World’ that a secret genocide is being carried out against women at a time when deaths resulting from armed conflicts have decreased.

The brutal irony of femicide is that it is an evil perpetrated against girls by women. The most insidious force is often the mother in law, the domestic matriarch, under whose authority the daughter in law lives. Policy efforts to halt infanticide have been directed at mothers, who are often victims themselves. The trailer shows tragic scenes of women having to decide between killing their daughters and their own well-being. In India women who fail to produce sons are beaten, raped or killed so that men can remarry in the hope of procuring a more productive wife.

It is an oft-made argument that parental discrimination between children would end if families across south Asia were rescued from poverty. But two factors particularly suggest that femicide is a cultural phenomenon and that development and economic policy are only a partial solution: Firstly, there is no evidence of concerted female infanticide among poverty-stricken societies in Africa or the Caribbean. Secondly, it is the affluent and urban middle classes, who are aware of prenatal screenings, who have access to clinics and who can afford abortions that commit foeticide. Activists fear 8 million female foetuses have been aborted in India in the last decade.”

Take a look at the movie trailer:

So what’s the solution?

Simply changing the laws won’t work. Dowries were banned in India decades ago but are still pervasive. They make women ‘expensive’ in the long run as their families must pay their future husbands. And alleviating poverty (were it so easy) isn’t a fix-all. Data shows the killing of baby girls and aborting female foetuses happens across the socio-economic divide. Indeed, abortions are more common among the wealthier who can afford the ultrasound technology to reveal the sex of the child before birth. Education helps, of course, but only so much.

In China the problem is exacerbated by the One Child Policy which placed even more stress on a society based in Confucianism which saw male children, especially firstborns, as vital to the culture and economy. When families only had one shot at having a boy, infanticide of girls increased dramatically.

Part of the problem is that women in these countries are still very much considered to be an economic liability. Especially when dowries are taken into consideration.

According to the Ministry of Women and Child Development’s Child Right Handbook, there is a common myth in India that daughters don’t benefit their families.

“Bringing up a girl child is like watering a neighbour’s garden,” the handbook states. “You raise them up, protect them all through and also plan for their marriage and dowry till they are finally gone.”

So even public education campaigns are framed around offsetting the liabilities of the woman by explaining how beneficial they may be in a modern economy.

So even in trying to limit the damage of femicide, women are reduced to an economic unit.

The Women News Network reported this poignant observation:

“[A] Mumbai doctor says that increasing women’s status is the only way to stop sex-selective abortion in India.

“No amount of education, rules and punishment can stop female feticide,” he says. “It will stop only when the status of girls and women will be raised high in our society. In fact, her status should be more than that of the men. Only this will bring about a vigorous change.”

Advocates say they hope that the country that worships many goddesses will one day begin to desire daughters, too.”

What are your thoughts on the situation in South Asia?

Comments

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142 Comments so far

  1. sad

    You state their plight so well.

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  2. Kateris

    Unbelievable! What century are we in? Have we evolved at all? No, it’s going backwards into such a downward spiral that it’s incredibly scary. What is wrong with these men? I find it so hard to call them men. Women in these cultures are so controlled, terrified and brainwashed that they don’t even feel the normal human response to such an appalling act. They are their own species enemy without meaning to be. These males are sick in the head. No other words….I feel like we need another planet to live on…

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  3. megs

    Feeling sooo heavy today. Before I read this article, I read about a 1-month-old baby girl who was beaten to death by her father… and I’ve been crying all morning for that poor family in New York, whose children were murdered by their nanny. What is wrong with the world?

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  4. jasegram

    shocking, no other word for it.

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  5. Georgiana

    Far. Out.

    Goosebumps all through that, and of the worst kind. It kills inside just thinking about it.

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  6. Genie Radachy

    I am no genius, but if this is such a problem and they really don’t care about these baby girls, then why do they make outsiders who want to adopt these girls jump through hoops and wait upwards of 2 years to adopt???? If they aren’t wanted, then ship them to the states and they would be adopted in a heartbeat by loving and caring families. A solution to their problem is right in front of their faces, they just won’t admit it.

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    • Kay

      I agree that would be a much better solution than what they are doing, but this country seems to far value white babies more than any other race and alot of them would just sit in foster care, but still better than being killed over in China I guess.

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    • Drew Henderson

      Although there are many families who are willing to adopt children I think the main concern here is to change the culture and misconceptions perpetuating the society in which these girls already live in.
      America (just like in Australia where I live) do offer many basic human rights to children and women BUT to “ship them to the states” would further issues with asylum seekers and create an even more polarised status between Western countries and non-Westernised countries. It would also not be an effective solution seeing as it is just continuing the disregard of these girls by separating them from their family, heritage, culture, and religious beliefs which they have a right to fully enjoy.

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  7. donbock

    You might find this book interesting:
    Unnatural Selection: Choosing Boys Over Girls, and the Consequences of a World Full of Men. Mara Hvistendahl, 2011, ISBN-10 1586488503.

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  8. heath quinn

    If people knew the truth, that it’s the father who determines the sex of a foetus, the lethal blaming of women for creating girl children would stop. If men understood their own role in reproduction, they’d be more humble, more fair, more kind. Women aren’t commodities. Women shouldn’t be more disposable than men. Women are gifts and blessings to men. Education is what’s needed.

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  9. missamoo

    Weirdly enough just this week i read an article than Australian women if given a choice choose to have girls, mostly because they believe them easier to raise than boys. I can’t remember where i read the article or i’d quote it more accurately it’s interesting to me as a family of mostly girls from both european and middle eastern back ground i never felt inferior, in fact with the italian grandfather girls were more interesting from my mum to us. Unfortunate for my brother ,cousin and uncle but a nice change. This is also a culture (nth italy btw) where you never give up your maiden name it is in all your official documents and when you are widowed it automatically reverts back to it. So i agree that by raising the status of women you could possibly help prevent the killings

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    • mandywill

      Yes, I read it too! It was in the Herald Sun a few weekends ago apparently – a friend told me about it and I wanted to read it so found it online:

      http://www.heraldsun.com.au/ipad/im-coming-to-pull-your-ponytails/story-fn6bfkm6-1226249392516

      Who knows if this SMOG thing takes off, in other words, if people from these countries realise that girls are the desired gender in the highly regarded West, maybe their status will rise? An upside to this truly ridiculous phenomenon which I’ve actually noticed myself (being a mum of boys)

      Just have to say it. God this world is fucked up….

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  10. Distressed

    I agree with tanstars, adoption is a long road particularly in Australia when you compare it to America,or those that have celebrity status. There are families who are waiting in excess of 7 years to adopt. The question to consider here is if families in India and China were aware that other families are waiting and willing to adopt their daughters would this gerdercide stop?

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  11. Me

    While I completely agree that the practice of killing female babies in male-dominated societies is a very important issue – and a practice that should be deplored – I find it disconcerting that you seem to equate killing babies with abortion.

    Abortion does not equate with killing a baby.

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    • Rick Morton

      Without getting into the abortion debate here and definitions, the ‘killing’ referred to here is the infanticide that happens when the babies are born.

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      • Jamie

        …except, girls who would be alive were it not for being sex-selectively aborted are included in most analyses of the ’200 million missing girls’. You can’t talk about this issue ‘without getting into the abortion debate’…

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        • Rick Morton

          That’s my point though. Unless I’m mistaken I wrote that figure included abortions AND infanticide. The two are considered separate, while both contributing to that figure. What I meant about not wanting to get into the debate was about the definition of abortion and whether it was murder / sex selection / otherwise …

          Edit: This is what I wrote. “Data shows the killing of baby girls and aborting female foetuses happens across the socio-economic divide…” The author I quoted also made the same distinction.

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          • Jamie

            It just kind of feels like semantics to me. The systematic abortion of female fetuses still constitutes femicide. I find it really interesting that so much care is being taken when discussing this issue in differentiating between what is ‘killing’ so many of these girls when, whether a breath is taken or not, the intent and result is the same?

            Maybe it’s just that I feel like our Western paradigm of ‘choice’ is pretty useless in this situation but it’s such a minefield to allow ourselves to step outside it to be able to address this for what it is?

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            • Rick Morton

              I took care with the wording because I *know* people make the differentiation themselves depending on their own personal views and had I been unequivocal either way the argument would have become about the definition and not the true tragedy here, which is the greater picture.

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            • Jamie

              I’m not taking issue with your doing it – I just genuinely find it interesting (and a bit sad) that it has to be done. It’s not irrelevant to the bigger picture when we find ourselves at best hypocritical and at worst paralysed in our response, because our Western attitudes to abortion get in the way of our ability to object to sex-selective abortion. Are there degrees of ‘wrong’ here, when the attitudes which cause the feticide or infanticide, and the effects, are essentially the same? I think these are valid and important questions – not to judge or push one side, but because they shed a light on our common humanity (or what we think of as humanity).

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    • me2

      Abortion actually does equate with killing a baby, the baby just happens to be in an earlier stage of development.

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  12. tanstars

    Imagine if adoption here and in other countries was simple and allowed those 200 million girls to be adopted out into other families where they would be loved and cherished.

    I can’t comment too much as I found it so distressing but have to say that I cannot imagine being in that position, just because girls are not valued I would imagine the heartache as a mother would be devastating. I wouldn’t ever judge a woman in this position as I have never and will never really understand the mindset or cultural thinking behind it. My heart breaks for babies, the mamas and the dads who are obviously affected as well. So so very sad.

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    • mandywill

      I agree, I couldn’t watch the video as I find the subject matter hard to take (well, right at the moment anyway), impossible to judge and I can’t. I just feel sorry for the women who seem powerless to do anything else. We are so lucky.

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  13. An Idle Dad

    What a horrifying situation.

    It is interesting that this issue is not a poverty issue, or education issue, but the status of women issue.

    I’d always thought “education solves the problem, money helps a lot too” but I guess it shows that while being not poor and being educated are vital steps towards gender equality, they don’t solve the problems in themselves.

    I’m also guessing that this kind of radical anti-female bias is a short term social phenomenon – societies that wipe out women, wipe themselves out. The fact that it isn’t repeated in other similar societies shows that.

    General gender inequality issues are, of course, still far more common.

    It does, however, slay the argument that abortion is a crime of women, against women and should be banned in Australia (the poor simply use different methods to achieve the same outcome). Or that legal gender selection here in Australia is somehow a threat to Australian society and could result in a gender imbalance here. The techniques and medical options aren’t responsible for the ‘missing’ women in China and India, the society and low status of women are responsible. In Australia, when gender selection was legal, it was used to pick girls more than it was used to pick boys.

    Australia does not have this problem.

    Of course, you can’t say “Women in Australia aren’t really discriminated against because look at what is happening in China or India” – that’s bullshit. But you can’t say “Women in Australia have it just as bad as women in India” either (which some have asserted in a few comments below).

    You can work towards nuanced gender equality here and fight the extreme gender equality in these two overseas societies – there is no conflict.

    The COO of Facebook, Sheryl Sandberg said “A world where men ran half our homes and women ran half our institutions would be just a much better world” – that goal works equally everywhere, the methods vary greatly between Australia and China, though.

    For me, the question is: what can we do here, from Australia, to support solutions in these countries?

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  14. Dr Mitu

    Beginning of December, a program aired on ABC 20/20 about India’s deadly secret.
    It was about 40 million girls who have vanished.
    All aborted before they could take their first breath.
    Their crime was that they were girls.
    As you know the gender ratios is India are terribly skewed about 914 girls per 1,000 boys. In Punjab it is about 833 girls per1,000 boys. Unfortunately this happens amongst the privileged and the educated also. The only woman who has brought cases against her in-laws and husband is Dr Mitu Khurana. Please watch her story and sign her petition for justice. Please give those 40 million girls silenced forever, a voice. Please forward this to as many friends as possible.

    http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/a-mothers-fight-to-save-her-daughters/

    http://gendercide.epetitions.net/

    After you sign the petition, there will be a request from the site for a donation. This donation is totally discretionary and does not in any way or form affect or benefit Dr Mitu Khurana. All she is asking for is your support (signing this petition) so that pressure can be put on the Indian authorities that the whole world is watching them in total disbelief as they make a young mother run around in vain for four years in search of justice

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  15. KatK

    So so sad. I cannot even begin to fathom how this culture could come about. What happens when there are no women left?

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  16. sharons

    I spent four years in a third world country from the ages of 14 to 18. I was lucky, as an expatriate family we were fortunate and lived well. However, I went to a local school and all my peers were poor. My bestfriend lived in a little shack made of tin with holes in the wall. She studied her bum off, became a doctor and now earns 12.5 grand AUD a year working 50 hours a week. That’s a good wage.

    There was little opportunity, people worked their asses off for the tiniest reward. At school there was no debate about what dress you were going to wear to the formal, or what phone you were going to buy. My friends spoke about simple things like whether everyone could chip in 20c to buy a 1 llitre bottle of soft drink from the canteen, that was considered a treat. I remember after my first PE lesson the teacher asked me if I could not wear sneakers as no one else could afford them, so I played sports barefoot. People didnt have $100 to buy a dress from sportsgirl, they wore whatever old hand me downs you could get your hands on. There were no vaccine debates, people took whatever medical assistance they can could get without a second question. I remember having to have an elephantiasis vaccine at school and no ones parents protested for a second because if you got sick, there were no good hospitals or specialists to help you.

    I now work as a health professional here in Australia and meet a lot of people through my line of work. It saddens me to see the number of people who unfortunately take what we have and the opportunities that we have, for granted.

    We are so blessed to be able to live in a country where we can wear a bikini at the beach, or walk into a doctors surgery or pharmacy and get quality advice and information about health and medications, or earn $20 an hour in a retail job, or get a university education on a government loan.

    This article reminded me of all the amazings things that we are blessed to have here in Australia. I think sometimes it’s good to take a step back and think about how many people around the world have much tougher lives than we do.

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    • Ebony

      I love your post. I totally agree with you. Thanks for sharing.

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    • Anonymous

      Fantastic post. We all need to be reminded of how lucky we are now and again.

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  17. the Original Camille

    so very sad.
    It never ceases to amaze me how horrible humans are to each other.
    We are inhumane.

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  18. Siobhan

    I knew that gendercide was rampant in China and India, but had no idea that as many as 200 million girls had been killed or had ‘disappeared’. It’s just so hard to get your head around statistics like that… what an unbelievable tragedy. It makes me so angry to read about the men who beat, rape and kill their wives for ‘failing to produce a son’, given that it’s the man’s sperm that ultimately determines the gender of a baby…

    A friend of mine is currently working on a documentary that deals with similar themes. Please visit her site and consider sharing the link:
    http://www.iamagirl.com.au/

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    • Bittersweet

      I think you’ll find that a lot of the people in those countries aren’t aware that it is the male’s sperm that dictates the gender of the child.

      A woman I knew was married to an egyptian (but they lived in Australia). When his family found out their first born was going to be a girl, they all offered her condolences.

      My sister is married to a farmer. When their second child turned out to be another girl, her father in law said “Never mind, there’s always next time”. He just wanted a male grandchild to pass the farm onto (never mind that the elder of my nieces can drive a harvester and do almost everything a boy can do!).

      Even in my own family, which has a Serbian background, it is the men only who inherit everything. I know that my brothers will inherit in excess of $5 million each, but I will get nothing. That seems to be the way it goes. But at least I am alive!

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      • Me

        As someone with Croatian background, I find that a bit weird. It’s certainly not the way things work in my family.

        By the way, if you’re based in Australia, that can’t actually happen – you can easily contest the will and are entitled to an equal share of the estate.

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        • Bittersweet

          I am a lawyer and actually, it can happen. The laws that allow for the contesting of wills only allow you to contest in certain circumstances, essentially being that you were not adequately provided for. My parents supported me until I got my degree and I have a high paying job. It would be relatively hard for me to show I was suffering some sort of real hardship that justified overturning wills.

          Not to mention, I don’t believe in contesting wills in the absence of extreme hardship being suffered by someone. I think we should all be entitled to dictate who will inherit our assets when we die. I may not like how my family chooses to allocate their assets, but that is their choice. And if they just gave it all away before they died, I would have no say in it anyway.

          The point I was trying to make in my post is that the valuing of boys over girls happens here too, not just in third world countries.

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      • ND

        that is correct, if you and your family reside in australia, the law states that each child has equal rights and has to share inheritance… if only child is named in the will, then it is all or none.

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        • Bittersweet

          ND, as I have stated above, the law does not mean that each child gets an equal inheritance. That is only the case if no will is left, as the rules that apply when someone is intestate will result in the estate being shared equally amongst all siblings. But when wills are left, there are very limited circumstances in which you can contest the will, and even then it does not guarantee an equal split.

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          • ND

            but you stated that you will get nothing?

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      • Lisa

        Hmmmmm that sounds odd to me as I consider the Balkans to be a place where women are much further ahead than here in Australia. My MIL is highly educated and was running her own company in her twenties. She was certainly not a ‘housewife’ like my mum here in australia was. She is an expert in her industry and a rarity in Australia where her industry is male dominated. You just dont see women her age doing her job here unless they are from the balkans. All her friends from the balkans are highly educated women with high positions. I think that is an issue within your own family because my Serbian in laws, friends and acquaintances are certainly not like that.

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  19. Yeah!

    I truly hate human beings sometimes.

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  20. Anonymous

    I can’t believe some of the people below who have responded with such little thought and vitriol – calling these women monsters, saying they should be thrown in prison, and are nothing but cold-hearted murderers. Most disgusting of all, some commenters actually acted like these women had a choice.

    We are so lucky to have the choices we do, and it can be really easy to assume that freedom and equality are just birthrights. Obviously, they are not. And not just for the baby girls that are killed, but also for their mothers. The cultural forces that drive these women to infanticide are nothing like some of the other things discussed on this website – to breastfeed or not, smacking your children, etc. Oh, how lucky we are to just worry about if someone is going to look sideways at us in the street for the choices we make.

    It is incredibly ignorant and naive to think that these women are somehow powerful enough to have a choice within in their cultures – if they are killing female babies, why would you expect that an adult female would somehow be more valuable or important? It’s just idiotic and shows a total lack of understanding of the issue. Considering these women were once the abhorred female children, denied education and forced to do whatever their ‘owners’ (parents, then husband) wanted, where do you think they would magically get these ideas of equality or human rights from?

    I’m so so saddened by the fact that this happens, but punishing these women is not the answer. They’re not killing babies for kicks – they are doing what their society dictates, what their husbands and families threaten them to do. In countries where illegal dowry systems are still in place, another daughter could mean financial ruin for a family (and no, they don’t have centrelink – they don’t have money, they starve – that includes any other children they might have). And for some women who have endured the worst of the worst and been powerless to protect themselves or their daughters from injustice and abuse…. it might make sense to them to spare their baby girl from enduring a similar fate. None of these reasons excuse what is happening, but might provide a little eye-opener to some of the over-privileged ignorance that is going on here.

    Individual women shouldn’t be blamed for their choices when they HAVE no choices, especially considering how punished they already are by their cultures simply for being female. There is no one way to approach this problem, but here’s a start: http://www.thegirleffect.org/

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    • graciousr

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I can’t imagine being in a situation where not only am I considered to have no rights but that I truly believe that to the point where I’d have to kill my own baby.

      It’s so easy for us, sitting on our comfy couches with laptops nestled on our laps, to think that ‘morality’ is black and white. I imagine these women are speaking so matter-of-factly about this because to them it has been a part of their lives since they miraculously avoided a similar fate when they were born.

      One thing is for certain though – something needs to change, and it needs to start with a change in the perception of women all over the world.

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  21. mochuck

    How horrifying to read this. Especuially after just finding out today that my daughter’s 2nd child is a girl. Such a pleasure for us. Horrifying to read that people’s lives are dictated by such superstition

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  22. Silverdragon

    The irony I always feel (horror aside) is that women are necessary in order to produce the next generation – whether boys or girls. ONLY women have the ability to bear children, so without girls/women there could be no boys/men.

    Meantime, sexism is as stupid as racism, but it’s still pervasive. As long as any given group of people thinks it is superior to any other group of people for whatever reason, there is always going to be conflict and misery.

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  23. austflaneur

    I can’t read this without crying for those beautiful, innocent babies.

    It really makes me wish international adoption was more affordable for everyday families like mine. I know – not a solution, but I wish it just the same.

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  24. justanotherday

    this is shocking and cruel. yet. being a ‘girl’ in western society doesn’t exclude us from being valued any less. except, fortunately, we have laws that prevent us from being made ‘extinct’. does not our ‘culture’ feed and view girls as sex objects. girls are not not taken seriously. they suffer from low self esteem. have body issues. all because they are trying to live up to men’s and superficial expectations. for girls AND women to spend their lives conforming to an constructed male ideal is incomprehensible and only gives power to the men in society who perpetuate the desires. and i’m not talking about a female staining her lips with red and wearing a nice dress to look good for HER.

    I know there will be women disagreeing with this as they have a choice to look slutty, desirable, be subservient or whatever reason they are convincing themselves it’s ok to live a precious, short life in this way. and their right. they do. but subconsciously..where did it all begin…we know..don’t we..

    Click to EditDelete

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  25. michelle hamer

    My beautiful, funny, happy, inquisitive niece just celebrated her first (fourth, we think) birthday in Australia. A year ago her parents picked her up from a Chinese orphanage. She had no future, most girls who ‘age out’ of the orphanages at age 16 end up selling sex on the streets or being abducted and murdered for their organs. She couldn’t walk, was malnourished, rarely verbalised and when she was fed, hid the food in her cheeks, in case there was no more coming. Today she wears ribbons in her pig tails, knows the moves to The Wiggles, giggles crazily as she races around the house, can be fussy about her food like any typical toddler, loves her mum and dad and extended family and reminds us daily that the statistics we hear about little girls around the world have a very real face. It’s incredibly difficult to look at old photos of her in the orphanage surrounded by the little girls left behind.
    michellehamer.wordpress.com

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    • Anonymous

      Bravo to ur sister and brother inlaw – she sounds like a beautiful child who is very lucky to be in ur family (or ur lucky to be in hers? :) ).

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    • mandywill

      Gorgeous! More tears to my eyes…

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  26. inkabinka

    http://www.taliacarner.com/deadnewborningutter.html
    This article also shows how ingrained it is in the culture

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  27. Dilek

    I think that we should never try & understand these people. They have to be punished, the government need to enfore the laws. If a monster of a woman feels that it is culturaly acceptable to muder her 8 children then she should be punished & thrown into prison. It’s murder, nothing more, cold hearted murder.

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    • Anonymous

      The fact that you see her as having a choice shows utter ignorance. Seriously.

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      • Dilek

        We have a similar problem in my culture but my country has been enforcing strict laws to try & change the culture. If the government does nothing lets them get away with it, then nothing will change. Education & Government are the only thing that will make changes. No soft action will cause thats their enviriment, that’s all they know. They need to be taught that this is not acceptable. The government need to get their arse into gear and break this deadly cycle. Trust me, I’m not that naive with regards to this matter please dont be disrespectful to me.

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  28. Suppport this cause

    For anyone affected by this video please go to The Girl Effect http://www.thegirleffect.org. Once you have watched the short video then please share it with your network. Thanks.

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  29. Anon today 23

    The post was hard enough to read, but the preview of the documentary had me in serious horrified tears. I have no words.

    Like a lot of people I knew this happened, but something about that preview… wow. Like I said, I have no words.

    I’m going now to hug my beautiful daughters.

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  30. speccygirl

    as someone having difficulty conceiving it’s hard to imagine this… but I guess in a society where women are constantly conceiving and having babies a female life is not valued as much. It’s tragic when there are so many people out there who would be happy to take unwanted children in.
    In terms of what you could do to help maybe check out Plan Australia’s Because I Am A Girl campaign http://www.plan.org.au/ourwork/campaigns/because_i_am_a_girl

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  31. Kate!

    While it is individuals who perpetrate this abhorrent practice, it is their culture and their society (and arguably the world economy) that causes them to do it. Before we pass judgment on any individuals, we should walk a mile in their shoes.

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    • Loretta

      I didn’t watch this video – have seen similar before and find it distressing… Just like to ask you if you support murder? That is what it boils down to and NO – I’m not walking a mile in any bloody murderer’s shoes – GET REAL!

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      • Anonymous

        Don’t do this.

        Kate’s comment was more thought out and measured than any response here so far. This problem has causes that you couldn’t possibly comprehend, and worst of it is that the perpetrators are victims too.

        Your kneejerk reaction just makes you look incredibly ignorant and privileged. Walk a mile in ANY woman’s shoes who doesn’t enjoy the same pampered life you do in a country where women have the same legal rights as men, and maybe you will get how these women are just as much victims as the babies that are killed.

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        • Anonymous

          *sorry.. where women DON’T have the same legal rights as men

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  32. Em

    Amartya Sen, the Indian development economist, has done research attempting to calculate the number of women missing from the world caused by the reasons mentioned in the article. Google him and his work. Heartbreaking yet inspirational.

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  33. Tallulah

    All the horror aside, as I’m sure many people have expressed, it’s fascinating that it’s more a cultural thing, not a socio-economic issue. Like how they said the practice is not prevalent in Africa or the Caribbean.

    It means, as it said, that alleviating poverty will hardly do anything.

    We discussed the UN’s Milennium goals in class, a lot of which include educating girls and women (which is key to both alleviating poverty and raising the status of women), but we recognised that even if people in these countries were perfectly ABLE to educate their daughters, the cultural attitude would still be “Why would we want to do that? They’re girls…”

    Really tragic.

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    • Kate!

      But socio-economics is inextracably linked to culture – poor uneducated people tend to accept cultural ‘wisdom’ more readily than people who percieve themseves as having choices and opportunities in life.

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      • afd

        But the article pointed out that some of this is people aborting after ultrasounds reveal the sex. That’s people that are socio-economically equipped to obtain an ultrasound, and subsequent abortion. Their education simply equips them with the knowledge they use to abort, rather than kill at birth.

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  34. SMF70

    While not as extreme this sort of gender bias is evident in Australian culture. Sadly my son died of SIDS aged 7 weeks in September 2010. I have a six year old daughter. On the day my son died the words my father spoke intended as comfort I guess still haunt me. “I was so happy for Allan (my husband) because he finally had a boy.”

    So apparently that’s what’s important.

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    • Cathy Crawley

      My heart breaks for your loss :(

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    • Anonymous

      I’m so sorry that you lost ur little boy x

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  35. ber

    Chilling.

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  36. La Bella Figura

    This mentality doesn’t just exact in these countries but many european countries. Not saying female babies being killed, but women being seen as subservient to men. Familes needed sons to help them on their farms. Girls were seen as a burden and married off. That mentality exists in Australia within many immigrant cultures. Look around you. While the men are out with their sons the women are at home with their daughters slaving away. I personally know of childhood friends who were told an education was unimportant and were pretty much forced into getting married very young and popped out a bunch of kids. I’m not Chinese, Indian or middle eastern but trust me, it happens more than you want to see. When a daughter is born people most of the fathers want sons. I went out with a guy who told me our firstborn had to be a son. I left him. I’m sure there might be little girls who ‘disappeared’ whether physically or just by getting rid of them in other more civil ways ie marriage. It’s shocking. One of my best friends is Indian but grew up in a wealthy family but again was pretty much married off young. There is not one male in her family who doesn’t prefer sons or hasn’t cheated on his wife because women ate seen as owned by men and subservient. This mentality exists in many cultures and it’s disgusting. I’ve personally tried to make changes and it has worked to an extent. My heart breaks when I hear and see these things happen to inncoent little babies and children. It’s so deeply entrenched
    and of course there are many families who love their daughters and want female babies. But to be honest, I can’t see this disgusting way of life will ever stop. I feel so sick and am thankful I was born in Australia.

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    • tanlee

      I also constantly feel grateful that I and my daughters were born Australian. I am always telling them how lucky they are.

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    • La Bella Figura

      I’m in tears I feel so blessed to have been born in Australia. I just can’t stop thinking of all the little girls who have been killed and which could have had the change of being adopted. It’s so deeply entrenched in these cultures socially and by the governments. I honestly just feel so sick at the world we live in and the ugliness that exists. I will send this to everyone I know.

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  37. Just Me

    I agree that this is so appalling and the only solution is continued education…however, often I find Western societies to be almost as bad (and I say almost, as clearly death or disappearance is far, far worse) in that the amount of women you hear of who don’t want boys, or want a little girl so desperately (for reasons that I cannot fathom – like dressing them pretty or sending them to dance classes or to have a ‘mini me’). Gender selection is insane to me, on any level, and it is these extremes that make it more so.

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    • Anonymous

      I used to be one of those, who had a preference for a baby of a particular gender. I’m still not pregnant, but it hit me – if you take away all the blue and pink crap, you don’t know what sex a baby is.. it’s just a beautiful little baby that can grow up to be whoever they want to be. People like to act like gendering little children, even in modern Australia, doesn’t hurt anyone.. but it does.

      Baby girls aren’t being killed for who or what they are, but for what a particular society believes they will grow into – women, who according to the rules of many cultures, are expensive burdens. And you are right – people in more developed countries still express preference for boys, even on a subconscious level, because of this core belief that men are more valuable than women.

      And it sucks, so much.

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      • Kate!

        And the irony is that in these poor countries where women are considered a burden and men are ‘providers’ – its seems to be women doing most of the work – working in the feilds, cooking, cleaning, mending, caring for the kids.

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        • the Original Camille

          OMG I had never thought of that!!!!

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  38. backagain

    Jesus. This was tough to read. It makes me furious at the disregard for a baby girl’s life…argh. What to do!?!? How can you change such a mindset??

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  39. Emma

    Hard to juxtapose this with ’3 beauty tools Zoe is nuts for’.

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    • Rick Morton

      But at least it IS juxtaposed with that. You don’t read nearly enough about issues like these, the least we can do is bring it everyone’s attention!

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      • Donsie

        Rick thanks for bringing it to our attention. It may be horrific & heartbreaking but its good to be made aware that this is happening & it makes a nice change from having discussions about breastfeeding & child models.

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    • speccygirl

      Yes – women can be interested in beauty tips and care about other women suffering around the world AT THE SAME TIME. Amazing…

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      • Kitten

        I think most people here accept they can Speecygirl, but I agree with Emma’s point in that the juxtaposition really drives home what’s important on a global scale.

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  40. teegstar

    What IS the solution? As distressing as this was to watch, it’s great that people are being made aware of this, but please, give us some way to help. Are there organisations doing work around this that we can donate to? I would love some guidance on how to respond to this, as it is so wretchedly heartbreaking to know it is happening and not know how to help.

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  41. katec

    For all wondering about the discrepancy between breeding a provider who won’t be able to find himself a wife- I don’t think that’s the point. I think it’s much more shortsighted than that. It’s about breeding a provider to look after YOU in your old age.
    Once again, it’s about people saying fuck the future and the big picture. I’m looking after ME.

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    • City Chick

      India has no old age pension or other welfare state fixtures such as free health, so having sons to look after you in old age is crucial (daughters live with their husband and his parents).

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  42. Anonymous

    As I was reading this, my 2 year old daughter climbed up next to me, gave me a hug and said “I love you the whole world mummy.” She is amazing and it breaks my heart to think of all those amazing girls never given a chance.

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  43. a

    Oh my gosh. The lady who says “i killed eight girl children’ shes like laughing. Soo chilling. How can their culture be an excuse for such heartlessness.

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    • Cathy Crawley

      She killed eight girls. Never had a boy. Do you think she learned anything? What does her religion say about this? So many questions.

      Our world is really fucked up.

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    • teegstar

      i’m not sure about in india but i know in many cultures people smile or laugh when they are uncomfortable — i wouldn’t write her off as heartless, it may just be the way she manages her emotions.

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      • a

        Fair enough I didnt know that. Still so chilling to hear it though. I will never understand the logic behind females not being worth as much as males though. We are all people. If nurturned and educated we all have something to offer. So sad and I hope these people can be shown that females can contribute and are valuable so this doesn’t happen one day.

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        • Tallulah

          It’s nothing to do with logic – it’s a cultural thing.
          Same as how there’s no logic behind idiotic people being everywhere and making millions for having no discernable talent. We’ve made them successful because of our culture.

          The basic knowledge these people have is that men can earn money, women can’t.

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    • Anonymous

      I think if she wasn’t so ‘heartless’ she would probably go insane. Being pregnant and giving birth is really hard work, imagine having to go through that 8 times only to have a babies you are forced to kill.

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      • Cathy Crawley

        I think heartless is the kindest description for her. She had eight choices. And chances to love the baby in her arms. Eight chances to save a life, and she chose to murder. That certainly is the definition of heartless.

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        • Lulu

          That’s a bit unfair. What kind of life do you think *she* has had, growing up as a woman in those circumstances? That would fuck with anyone’s perspective.

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        • amyintheworld

          She is not heartless. She is a woman who has been told her whole life that women are worth less than men. She sees all around her every day that women who do live into adulthood are not given the means to contribute economically, because the society which they are in deem them less able, less valuable. It is so easy for us in Australia or any other wealthy nation to judge the choices of desperate people. It’s likely that she felt she was doing the kind thing by killing the girls. I wouldn’t be surprised if many others feel the same. If their choices are to raise a child into poverty, where she will grow to feel and ‘know’ that she is worthless, that she is a burden, that she cannot help her family, or to end her life before any of that suffering can occur, then perhaps the kinder thing is to not let her live longer than a few hours. There is no centrelink in India. If someone cannot provide for themselves there aren’t homeless shelters or St. Vincent de Paul’s to go to for a meal or a blanket.
          The most heartbreaking thing for me watching that video and reading this article is knowing that many of people that kill their own daughters likely feel they have no other option. I urge you to think a little more outside your own cultural box, your own views of the way the world works before you judge someone for this. Judge the society. Judge the global economy that we are in, the global society. But please don’t write off the inviduals as heartless or soulless, because it’s not a simple black and white matter of right or wrong.

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        • Anonymous

          But Cathy you don’t know that she had ‘eight chances to save a life’. Maybe she was forced to. Maybe she thought she could kill them in a more humane way than someone else would. We don’t know anything about her particular circumstances.

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          • Cathy Crawley

            You are right, I don’t know exactly what she has gone through. But as someone who has avidly read articles in National Geographic, Readers Digest and has watched hundreds of documentaries over the last 20 years I am educated on the lifestyles and plights of those living in poor countries like India, China, Thailand, Africa and the like. I am aware that in some of these countries it is custom to chop off a child’s arm or burn out it’s eye so the child can beg on the streets to earn a living for the family. I’m aware that in some countries boys born girls will be forced to live as girls because their parents wanted a girl. I’m aware that in some countries children are sold into sex slavery because their parents are poor. And I’m aware that in China children are strapped to chairs for years and when not adopted left in rooms to die of hunger or thirst. I’m aware that in Somalia people are dying every single day because of corruption and violence stops aid from getting through. I’m aware of all these things, I have been an avid voice on these subjects to anyone who will listen for years. Yes, these people often have no choice, these people are impoverished. But on a human level most of these people follow some kind of religion and yet these lives are are tortured, taken and disposed of. I’m not trying to be mean, I always try to see everything from an outsiders perspective. I said in an earlier post that Bill Gates is giving billions to India’s poor, I hope this money goes to education so people understand these abhorrent practices are inhumane. As for this mother being heartless, I still think that if she has murdered 8 babies so that her family didn’t have to suffer financially it is still a heartless thing to do. You don’t grow a child inside of you, give birth to it and not have an ounce of love for it. How could any woman birth eight children and kill them unless she was heartless? Her mother didn’t kill her because she was a girl. Did this woman have a choice? Did she have options? I don’t know. Probably not in her mind. Moreover, people would have known she was expecting eight times, what did they all say when after eight pregnancies there were no live children? I expect that they didn’t bat an eyelid. If the tables were turned and this happened in Australia what would we say? We’d call her worse than heartless. I have seen some of this footage on NBC America, it was aired a few weeks ago after midnight. In some of the footage I saw there were Doctors recommending terminations for 5, 6 & 7 month pregnancies after an illegal sex determination ultrasound. It’s built into the culture and even the educated wealthy are not immune.

            Even here in Australia last year there was a woman who had tried IVF to get pregnant, she fell pregnant with twin boys. Upon hearing the news she scheduled a termination at 20 weeks. Legal in this country. What does that say about our own ideals? How can someone be permitted to go through IVF to have children then because they are not the right sex just kill them. Can I call that woman heartless?

            There are two subjects that I’m extremely passionate about. The way humans treat humans and the way humans treat animals and the environment. The really sad thing is that in 2012 many millions of people are living with really barbaric and ancient beliefs that cause the murders of millions of humans and animals every single year. If anything can shed light on either of these subjects I’m happy. I’m really happy that this subject has created such a debate and conversation. I hope this documentary raises awareness. I hope everyone shares it on Facebook, Twitter or blogs.

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  44. dee102

    This is too distressing for me to comment on very much… I see other people below have attempted o/s adoption due to these circumstances, I hope I can do the same when I’m a bit older. If only the process was simpler.

    Has anyone else read ‘Half the Sky’? Excellently written book about degradation of women and some proposed solutions… leaves you feeling marginally hopeful (somehow)..

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    • Cathy Crawley

      Australia on average has 200 overseas adoptions per year. Not good enough.

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      • Kate

        Is it really only 200 a year? Australians can and would do so much more if only the process wasn’t so difficult. In the context of that video, that’s a horribly low statistic.

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    • Eloise

      Hi Dee102,

      I read Half the Sky about a month ago – was a fantastic book, and left me feeling a bit more hopeful too.

      I know it’s only a partial solution, but I also do loans through kiva.org, and always choose women to sponsor. Anything that raises the profile and opportunities for women in these countries has to be a benefit.

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  45. picardie.girl

    Who do they think all their sons are going to marry?

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  46. Anonymous

    Omg I was too angry to finish reading this… WHYYYYYY do we live in a world like this.. how the hell do you think you get boys???? WOMEN give birth to them.. pretty soon there will be no girls and what will they do then??
    aaargh.. I need to calm down.. not

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  47. Cathy Crawley

    I’ve been writing about this on Facebook for years now. It’s a terrible and crying shame. If you want to see how bad it is in China watch the documentary “The Dying Rooms”. You will never forget it, never. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B94trCVCrLo

    Recently 60 minutes did a story on Bill Gates giving away his fortune, India seemed to be the country of choice that he and his wife were focusing their charity efforts on. I saw a story on Dateline where one community had no girls. None. Where doctors who did illegal ultrasounds during pregnancy (they are illegal but they are everywhere) would say to couples who were 5 or 6 months pregnant “It’s not good news, it’s a girl child. I suggest you abort”. I would like to think that Gates and his wife use some of that fortune to educate the masses about the value of women in society.

    No women = no men can marry = no babies.

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    • Donsie

      no men = no men can marry = no babies . I think that may be the solution to the problem.

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      • Anonymous

        I thought the same thing but then someone wrote below that men (brothers) are now sharing a wife between them.

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    • Mum of 2

      This is the bit that I don’t get. Do they not understand that no women equals no babies? I realised that they consider women more of a burden than anything, and figure ‘someone else’ can create the women for their sons to marry, but don’t they realise that this can go too far and that their precious family lines will die out in the very next generation with their sons because they can’t find anyone to make a baby with? The fact that women make sure their family names are carried on should give them a certain amount of importance. Obviously not enough, and everyone is operating under the assumption that the ‘other’ families will make it all right for everyone by continuing to have those second class citizen breeders (girls).

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  48. nenebe

    I read recently a story that underpins the disparity is the population that is occuring because of this. A girl in India was married to a man, and because it was difficult to find wives for his other 3 or 4 adult brothers, she was shared around between them. I can only imagine what a life she had been living, and the number of pregnancies/babies that would be tampered with to get the resulting sons/grandsons. Not only a tragedy for the babies but for the lives of the girls that make it through the gender selection.

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    • CJ

      I’ve read articles about China’s ‘little emperors’ who are growing up unable to find wives so there has been an increase in young women being either kidnapped or bought/sold and enslaved to ensure these spoilt boys get to pass on their genes.

      Oops, just read Sammie’s comment below!

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    • caramel80

      gross!!!

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  49. Sammie

    My friend worked at an orphanage in china for two weeks. She couldn’t last any longer. Girls would just disappear over night. The girls from wealthier families were often sold to men in HK as sex slaves, the girls from poorer families were taken to rice paddies and abandoned. The boys were beaten for pooping in their nappies, broken bone type beatings.
    This wasn’t some backyard style orphanage either, it was one of the better ones.
    My friend saw this happen and was unable to do a thing.
    As I hold my baby girl I thank my lucky stars that she was born here.

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    • Cathy Crawley

      It’s horrible. Life doesn’t have the same value in some countries. A friend of mine saw a dead baby in the river in China during her visit, when she mentioned it to the tour operator they said “oh it’s probably a girl, that happens all the time”. Sickening.

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      • Cathy Crawley

        Sorry, just remembered this story from my husband who was in the Australian Navy for 12 years. When they go into certain asian ports around the world the Navy puts filters on the water that they take into the generators to make fresh water and run their engines because they find bodies in there. True. Seriously, you don’t want to get me started on this issue, I’m so passionate about child abuse and animal abuse in certain countries, it makes me sad to call myself a human some days.

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      • Sammie

        I can’t get over how that can be normalised. It’s. A. Dead. Baby. In. A. River! Not from a plague, or disease, or starvation, but because she’s a girl. It makes me so upset.

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        • Cathy Crawley

          I know! It boggles the mind. When I think of what Mother could do this I’m left without any words. If she was special enough to have her life spared from this appalling practice how could she do it to her own baby girl?

          Not to mention the girls all over the world who have their clitoris removed so they don’t enjoy sex (countries like Africa and Islamic countries do this), it even happens here. Then there are the countries that sew a woman’s vagina up so she can’t have sex until her wedding night, when her husband has to cut open her vagina. Please, the things people do to women in this world angers me so much.

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          • Ace365

            Minor point, but Africa is a continent made up of many countries. Female genital mutilation is NOT prevalent in all of them.

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          • Anonymous

            Africa is not a country – it’s a continent. For someone who has been such a vocal know-it-all about this subject, you don’t even know that..?

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        • Cathy Crawley

          Last year a little girl was run over by a vehicle in a Chinese street. The car kept going. 18 people walked past her, a second car ran over her. The 19th person stopped. The NINETEENTH person. What is wrong with this picture? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2050081/Video-footage-girl-2-run-TWICE-dozens-people-ignore-China.html

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  50. Chrissy

    I have strived to educate my daughter on this issue throughout her 13 years of life so far. It is a subject that affects me deeply and I want her to know how privileged and special she is and more importantly how lucky she is to be born a girl in a country like Australia.

    What makes my blood boil about the punishment of the non-son providing women is that it is the SPERM that determines gender!! What is the point of killing your wife because your sperm gave you a daughter?? Insanity.

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