It is the habit that thousands of sleep-deprived parents fall into: co-sleeping with your baby after feeding or to get them settled.
But yesterday Coroner John Olle issued a blunt warning to parents – sleeping with your baby leads to fatal consequences, with evidence that up to half of babies who are found accidentally dead, are found asleep in bed beside their parents.
News.com.au reports:
In an unprecedented and blunt warning to parents, Coroner John Olle yesterday said sleeping with babies was a potential death trap – yet parents every day put their child’s life at risk through lack of awareness.
From 2008 to 2010, suffocation from sleeping with an adult was the cause of more than half of all sudden infant deaths in NSW.
In the Victorian Coroner’s Court, Mr Olle investigated four cases of babies who died of SIDS – each of them having shared a bed with a parent just before or at the time of their death.
“I am satisfied sharing a sleep surface with an infant is an inherently dangerous activity,” Mr Olle said.
“Caregiver/infant sharing of … beds, sofas, mattresses and armchairs, increases the risk of infant death from a fatal sleep accident and may increase the risk of infant death from SIDS.”
Mr Olle said many parents were unaware of the risks, or received inaccurate information on how babies should sleep….
Sids and Kids general manager Ros Richardson begged parents to heed Mr Olle’s advice: “We know from the statistics how incredibly dangerous it is to sleep with your baby. Babies are brought into bed for breastfeeding and for settling but they must go back to their own bed, next to the parents’ bed.”She said sleep-deprived parents as well as those suffering post-natal depression were often the ones who fell into the trap of dozing off with their newborn.
Author and Mamamia Contributor, Kate Hunter has previously written about co-sleeping. Here is her take:
“About the time the word ‘parent’ became a verb and we started worrying about our style of ‘parenting’, the term ‘co-sleeping’ also entered the language. It refers to what was once known as, ‘being kicked in the lower back all night.’ Not that I would actually know – our kids have never shared our bed. Not even when they were teeny-tiny babies.
Kate Hunter
“Some may take exception to this, but raising a Labrador puppy prepared me well for the first years of parenthood. I knew from noisy, messy experience that once you let a puppy (baby) leave its box (cot) and snuggle into your bed (bed) he would be there for the duration. So, from day one our babies slept in their own cots in their own rooms (by that I mean not ours – baby and toddler shared).
I schlepped down the hallway to feed and change and rock and pat a bazillion million times. Maybe I’d have got more sleep if I’d kept them closer, who knows? Co-sleeping is divisive. Some people (like me) will do anything to avoid it, while others couldn’t live (or sleep) any other way.”
How do you feel about this warning? Did you, do you or would you co-sleep with your baby? Does this advice change your thinking?
Comments
214 Comments so far
Most families in the world co-sleep. In fact, in Japan where the majority co-sleep, the incidents of deaths are one of the lowest in the world. I did not choose to co-sleep but ended up doing so because it was the only thing that helped my baby to sleep. He was an extreme preemie who had to conserve energy and sleep in order to grow and put on weight. Looking back, I honestly believe that co-sleeping was the thing that helped my baby to grow healthy and strong quickly. By six months, he was physically and mentally the same as the average six month baby. He had no sleep apnea, was never sick and learned to breastfeed naturally at three months despite being only taught to bottle feed from the NICU. But this was what my baby needed. It doesn’t mean all babies need or want this. As a baby, I loved sleeping on my own and loved the bottle. Each baby is unique as to what they need and want. We just need to make the boundaries reasonably safe for them and not stress them out to try and conform to one rule.
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My co-workers baby just died this way. He was five weeks old and he was buried for days ago. To watch a mother collapse on her child’s coffin and say I’m sorry, My baby over and over again makes me believe it just isn’t worth it. The baby can be in a crib next to you. Don’t sleep with your baby. She woke up with a cold, stiff baby in her arms. Thank you for letting me speak on this. I am devastated for her and I cannot even fathom how she feels. She is on suicide watch.
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Interesting. Up to half of all babies found dead were in bed with parents… better warn against it and make the parents feel like criminals.
But, wait a minute… that means that over and up to half of all babies found dead were NOT in bed with their parents…. terrible neglectful unmindful criminal parents….. Give me a break, and give parents a break. How about society doing something to support new parents (almost always mothers, here), especially the poor and underpriveleged who are the ones most represented in these figures. Give them warmth, good food, support to quit smoking and continue breastfeeding, freedom from family violence and an education, and a break from the grinding routine of it all so they can rest.
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What an ill informed coroner. Grabbing a stack of statistics and smacking it onto co-sleeping without further investigation is an abuse of power.
Comments such as these really get under my collar.
EVERY new parent or parent to be should read Dr Howard Chilton – Baby on Board. It will dispel any of this propaganda. If you choose not to co-sleep, fine, don’t go and put fear into vulnerable parents.
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In this blog one Mum equates putting your baby in a cot to locking them away in a cell
http://workingmumsaustralia.com.au/2012/07/12/this-working-mum-co-sleeps-do-you-agree/
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Ok so The Sun Herald reported back in March that internationally renowned infant sleep and SIDS expert Dr Peter Blair had slammed the coroner’s findings. Surely that should have been mentioned as part of any balanced “conversation”? Come on Mamamia show some respect for your readership by providing at least some balance.
“But Dr Blair said a report on the deaths showed 70 per cent of the co-sleeping cases in question involved drug and alcohol use by the parents.
“The study wasn’t put into perspective … of the 33 bed sharing deaths, you have 23 of them where there was alcohol and drugs involved,” said Dr Blair, who is presenting at a series of Australian Breastfeeding Association seminars this week.
“It didn’t use a control group to give it context. It’s very difficult for a coroner to come out with public health messages, they are the last people who should be giving information on co-sleeping as they are very one-sided, all they see is the deaths.”
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Articles that offer a more thorough analysis:
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/conflict-on-sids-and-safe-sleeping/story-fn7x8me2-1226299790054?sv=f8f27de823f502dc8ab69b4d21715e29
http://www.uq.edu.au/news/?article=24974
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I have been warning parents of the risks for years (as a psychologist who works exclusively with babies and parents) and understand tired & exhausted parents co-sleeping however there is a risk. Why take that risk when it can be avoided? If your baby isn’t sleeping well please solve the sleep problem. If interested read my article Co-Sleeping Make it a No Go Zone – http://www.babysmiles.com.au/?p=673 The other related topic that annoys me is how all baby shops have the cots on display with all the gorgeous bumpers, quits and pillows and we know that this is not the recommended way to sleep babies to reduce SIDS- this is sending the wrong message at the very beginning!
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Its an interesting debate, I can totally see analogies between this and telling teenagers not to have sex as its the only completely safe option, well, they will have it anyway but without education will probably not use protection!! I think lots of parents end up co-sleeping some of the time whether they plan to or not. If the only messages getting out there are “don’t do it, you may kill your child” then we miss opportunities to promote safer co-sleeping. I ended up with my first in bed after the kind of sleep deprivation that makes you want to walk off a cliff….my second is in a basinett next to me but sometimes all that will do for him is to be next to me…. so he is. I have a bed guard, his own sleeping bag, I don’t drink/smoke and I’m not overly deprived of sleep. I’m minimizing the risks……so maybe health authorities should be taking a more grown up approach to the debate and acknowledging what’s actually happening.
Check out Dr Howard Chilton’s book, “Baby on Board” for a really great chapter on co-sleeping. In fact the whole book is great!
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So sick of people telling me how what they have chosen to do with their kids is ‘natural’ or ‘instinctive’. Maybe for you but not for everyone, it just comes across as very judgemental and indirectly labels anything else as unnatural.
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Co-sleeping wasn’t natural or instinctive for me. I only did it at the suggestion of the hospital. In fact if you had told me when I was pregnant that I would co-sleep at all – let alone still be doing it now almost 3 years later – I would’ve booked you a place in the loony bin. But just like in that article today where some women knew at 4wks that they were pregnant and others didn’t know until they were ready to give birth, I think the main thing for all of us to remember is that no two humans are the same. And as a result how do we expect our situations with our children to be the same? Your instinct isn’t my instinct and what you think is right for your family probably won’t fit mine. Hell I don’t even know if I have an instinct to be honest. I don’t really feel like I have one. I just feel like I’m slogging through the best that I can each day and making it up as I go along, trying not to mess up my child too much along the way. Is that instinct? Hell if I know.
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From an article in The Age:
”The cases stemmed from a Coroners Protection Unit study of infant deaths in Victoria from 2008 to 2010, which found 33 of 72 deaths during sleep had involved sleeping with other people or a pet”
So 39 babies died while sleeping alone.
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with “a pet”??? mind boggles.
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Whilst the debate in Australia about co-sleeping continues, it remains the unquestioned norm in the rest of world. Statistics show co sleeping helps bonding, decreases postnatal depression and DECRESSES the chance of “cot” death. When other risk factors (parent being obese, drug or alcohol affected, or a smoker ) are absent an infant who co sleeps has less chance of dying from SIDS than one who sleeps in a cradle or cot. In countries where co sleeping is the norm, the instance of SIDS in almost non-existent -For example, in Hong Kong, where co sleeping is extremely common, SIDS occurrences are amongst the lowest in the world. By contrast, the USA has one of the lowest rates of co sleeping, and the highest instance of SIDS. Parents should not be made guilty for doing what feels right-it is almost inevitably what is best.
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I had a c-section three weeks ago and while my partner was instructed to go home at night in the hopsital it was soooo hard for me to get up in the night and hold the baby let alone get back up after feeding and then settle him. I admit a few times we both fell asleep on the hospital bed due to sheer exhaustion and the fact that I couldn’t move…
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My son and I shared a double bed that very first night in the birth center, and although I didn’t consciously decide to co sleep I was not against it as I grew up in a family where we would jump into bed with our parents in the morning or sleep with them when we were sick.
In those first few months my son did not settle in his crib, preferring to be nursed and cuddled. At six weeks old he was called “spoilt’ by the baby health nurse and I was instructed in control crying. Control crying didn’t work! No one slept and everyone was unhappy. A cuddle in bed made everyone happy… peace.
As he got older he slept in his own bed but would often come in during the night.
One night, when my son was four years old, he sounded a little chesty, but was afebrile and in good sprints. As a precaution I popped him into our bed to keep an eye on him and to avoid being up and down through the night. At 2 am I woke to find my son in respiratory distress, the almost inaudible puffy sound of very rapid breathing. We called an ambulance and he was raced to hospital. There in the emergency department he went into respiratory arrest. He was resuscitated, intubated and spent a week in ICU. It was very unusual but the diagnosis was sub clinical viral pneumonia. Fortunately he recovered well and his respiratory health has been good since, but it was a long while before he slept on his own.
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You followed your instinct to keep him close and in the end it saved his life. What a wonderful mum
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Did anyone else sleep with their babies in the crook of their arms while lying down because in the early days their newborns would not sleep if they didn’t have skin to skin contact? It was the most uncomfortable position and yet it was the only way in the first few months I could get my children to sleep – at all! The other option was having them screaming for hours in a basinette, even if I was there right next to them, shushing and patting and rocking the basket. I think parents have to be extremely vigilant and follow guides when co-sleeping with young babies but if it means everyone can snatch some sleep during that first chaotic time of regular waking and feeding, then I think it is going to continue as a regular practice for many parents. I didn’t necessarily enjoy it after the first four to six months (as I know some parents do) but it was a integral part of our becoming a family – making sure the baby felt emotionally secure and bonded. If you can get your baby to sleep in a bassinette for more than five minutes at a time in the first six months though – all power to you. As some wise women have said below, every baby is different and different practices work for different families.
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I had the same experience. I suspect that some of the people who are being so judgemental of parents who co-slept probably had babies who were relatively easy to settle or are people who are able to cope with less sleep than the average person. Some babies are needier than others and some parents need sleep more than others. Some people can get by on very little sleep but that is not the case for everyone.
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My babies slept in a cot right next to my bed until 4 months. I loved us all being in the room together but didnt want them in the actual bed. They are so tiny and i felt they were safest tucked into their cot away from doonas, big pillows and heavily sleeping adults. I used to have these awful dreams / hallucinations that the baby was lost in the blankets on my bed, and I’d jump up and search for them madly under the blankets until I looked over and saw them asleep in their little cot and realise it was just a dream.
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I had those same dreams of looking for my first baby in my bed, pretty much every single night, it drove me nuts! That was until my bub gradually came to sleep in my bed, out of desperate need for sleep, and generally against what I thought was best. Four years on, bub number 2 has had the co-sleeping experience since birth.
Funnily enough, the frantic searching dreams never occured when my babies were sleeping with me and nor did I ever awake to find them where they shouldn’t be. I think those dreams were telling me where my babies should be! But, most seriously, each to there own.
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This dream comes about because you’re seperated from your child, your brain is “searching” for them to be where they should be – next to you
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I co-slept with both my children and would not hesitate to do it again – it is not natural to keep a newborn all alone in another room. For breastfeeding cosleeping is the best – there are loads of benefits. Coroners reports like this annoy me. Stop telling mums and dads that their parenting choices are going to kill their children – headlines like this are inflammatory and untrue.
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I didn’t find it natural at all and find those sort of comments inflamatory and judgemental. My daughter slept in her own cot and I managed to breast feed until she was 14 months.
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I find it interesting that a lot of mothers here claim co-sleeping as an instinct when it clearly wasn’t that way for me.
Before I had a child all I ever heard regarding co-sleeping was tales my sister-in-law would tell me about how impossible it was to get her, then, 4 and 6 year old out of her bed. There was not enough room in the bed for four – so much so her husband (my brother) slept in the spare room every night. She would complain about co-sleeping one minute and the next, tell me how wonderful it was to have two cherubs to cuddle when falling asleep. Their marriage wasn’t great so I did wonder whether she was using the kids equally as an emotional crutch as well as an excuse to keep hubby out of bed…? I tried to put myself in her shoes but couldn’t really understand the appeal of having wriggly kids in bed with you, all night, every night, since infancy… but never gave it much thought beyond that. I had no real idea of the concept of co-sleeping with infants.
Interestingly, when I was about 6 months pregnant, I started to have reoccurring ‘dreams’ of being unable to find my baby in the bed. This dream would compel me to, literally/physically, sit up and pat the bed down in a panic, looking for the baby. My husband was often pushed and shoved out of the way in the frantic but futile search. It would take me minutes to realise that I had been dreaming and there was nothing to look for. This behaviour continued until after the baby was born even though I had bought a bassinet and never even contemplated, let alone have, the baby sleep in our bed. Luckily it got no worse after the birth, but it took about a year from having the baby for the dreams to stop completely. I don’t believe co-sleeping is a great option purely from a logical standpoint – two big adult bodies vs one tiny baby body in a confined space with added heat and choking risks of soft furnishings etc. does not make sense to me but I was surprised at my maternal subconcious instinct ‘against’ having the baby in bed with us.
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I don’t think it’s necessarily instinctive. I started doing as it was freezing, and I was falling asleep with her feeding her sitting up. It was much easier (once we both got the hang of it) to lie down to feed, and I didn’t worry about dropping her or having my boob cover her face up, as by the time we got the lying down to feed sorted, she had started turning away when she was done. I do believe though that it seems that it IS instinctive to form your body in a specific way if you have your baby in bed with you.
When she is in bed with me, she doesn’t really touch me or expect or want to be cuddled the whole time, she just reaches for me and taps when she wants a feed.
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Power to anyone who CAN co-sleep. The nights that our boy has slept with us have been the most uncomfortable, looong nights in memory. Also, the saying “begin as you mean to go on” influences all of our presenting decisions. Having said that, it’s now imoossible to get the boy to have a nap with us etc which is a shame…
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After re-reading Faybian’s comment below I’m actually quite confused now.
“SIDS is the term used for a baby that has had a post mortem performed, for which no cause of death can be attributed.
Accidental death is the term for a baby that has had a post mortem performed, for which a cause has been identified, such as smothering by a doona etc.
SUDI is the term for a baby that has died and hasn’t yet had a post mortem performed. It is the blanket term and means sudden unexplained death of an infant.”
If SIDS is the term for when no cause of death can be determined and Accidental Death is for when it can be determined how a baby died what is the Coroner suggesting happened in bed to make co-sleeping a “death trap”? They weren’t suffocated, squashed, over-heated or rolled off the bed… if he found that’s what caused their deaths it would be ruled Accidental Death. How is he attributing these 4 deaths to co-sleeping? Forgive my bluntness but unless I’m misunderstanding something these babies would’ve succumbed to SIDS regardless of where they slept.
I’m tired so I apologise if I’m missing the obvious here.
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God I really hope my memory isn’t playing up. I did a specific SIDS course at work last year for health professionals and I am kinda going off memory here, but basically the SIDS and accidental death terms are official terms after a post mortem. The only possibility is that I’ve mixed up SIDS and SUDI, then it might make more sense.. Gaarh! Now I’m going to feel compelled to look it up when I get to work on Monday. I did read up on it yesterday and I believe “they’re ” looking at replacing SIDS with SUDI, but nothing official atm.
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I hate co-sleeping, I simply can’t sleep when there is a grunting, wriggling, hot bundle next to me that I am so so paranoid about squashing. I also couldn’t breastfeed in bed. Apart from the early days (post c/s) where it was too painful, Miss C had terrible reflux. The chance of her projectile vomiting all over me after every feed was high. There was no way I was going to sit/lie with her in bed and then have to change the linen as well! (and yes she really did puke that much, I had an exorcist child). Master A was also a puker, but not as bad. He spent the first week of his life in his cot in our room before I went mental. The grunts and boises he made prevented me from getting any sleep whatsoever. So I don’t understand how people can co-sleep from a purely practical standpoint.
However, I think that we need to take the coroners findings seriously. From what I had read, they do advocate having the baby in the room for the first 6 months (something I refused to do) which I can see as being a better option than having the baby in the bed. The SIDS guidelines have been responsible for decreasing the death rate from SIDS dramatically. Why wouldn’t we want to do everything we can to protect our children?
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I wonder if people co sleep to satisfy a need in them so deep they are unable to let their babies sleep in their own space? It seems selfish to me. As a mother of a 9 month old that when breast fed took over an hour each feed, I got up, pushed the bassinet into ‘her’ room, fed, settled, pushed it back into our room and went back to bed. I purposely never fed in bed as I was worried I would fall asleep. As do her sleeping in our bed, I never considered it. It’s a very personal choice but I cannot understand why people do it except when desperate for sleep. But I don’t under home birthing either. To me thats insane. My brother coslept with his baby and they say their baby can sleep in their bed until he wants to sleep in his own bed, find it a bit odd and also wonder why people continually ignore experts. It Should be what’s best for the baby, not convenience or filling an emotional need of a mother but know some people get no sleep and it’s a last resort
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“I cannot understand why people do it except when desperate for sleep”
I think that just about sums it up for a lot of people!
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I ignore ” experts” on things like this because, no one knows my babys’ needs like me. I’ve co-slept with all my babies, because I wanted too. I’m not “needy” or ” selfish”, I did it because I know what’s best for myself and my baby . You did what you thought was best for your baby, and that’s ok too.
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I would fall asleep sitting up in a lounge chair with the TV on when doing night feeds…
P I don’t do well in the early hours of the morning. Curiously, I actually fell asleep while feeding less once I started feeding in bed with our occasional co-sleeper. I think that the problem with a lot of parenting is the assumption that one size will fit all. While some people co-sleep for what seem like selfish reasons, others would rather not co-sleepbut find that it helps their child. Others I know would love to co-sleep but their child won’t have a bar of it.
Parenting is very much different horses for different courses. So we do our research, follow best practice guidelines, periodically check our motivation and most of all be as flexible as possible!
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Same Ana – I fell asleep more sitting up. Once she got bigger, we were able to lie down to feed. I was a lot less worried about that because when she has finished when lying down, she turns away. If I’m sitting up and fall asleep, there would definitely be more danger of me smothering her with my big boobs, or dropping her. That doesn’t happen lying down.
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Well put, Ana!
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Oh JJ you’ve never known the fabulousness of waking at 2am turning on the telly in your bedroom, catching some TV while feeding your babe and then putting him/her back in her bassinette and going to sleep. Simply awesomeness. With my first born I did the feed in her room thing too, this time around I did the TV in my room feeding…so much calmer feeding schedule and the baby went back to sleep post feed sooooo much faster.
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This is a serious issue and parents should be aware of the risks of co-sleeping. However Mamamia fails to mention that the coroner also advocated that babies should sleep on their own sleeping surface in their parents room for at least 6 to 12 months to reduce the risks of SIDS. This recommendation is not mentioned in your post. Could this be because it’s not compatible with the Mamamia publication ‘The Gift of Sleep’?
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Hi Anon
Elizabeth Sloane (and The Gift of Sleep ebook) teaches parents how to give babies the Gift of Sleep even if they are sleeping in your room.
And the Gift of Sleep 100% supports the SIDS safe sleeping guidelines.
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Thanks for that clarification. Perhaps your original post should also mention the findings re sleeping in parental room as the anecdote by Kate Hunter mentions babies sleeping in their own room.
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is this really being statistically claimed by 4 cases… or have I read incorrectly from the above info?
no doubt there are risks and heartbreaking cases as noted, but I am sure there are hundreds/thousands and even hundreds of thousands who sleep or have slept with babies/toddlers with no issue whatsoever (bar a kick in the head, a pillow being snatched or covers being stolen)
parenting is hard work, co-sleeping can make it more bearable, improve bonding & many more positives, so why are we only focusing on one side of the story!?!
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Co-sleeping is a personal decision and if you do take safety precautions (ie not drinking, taking drugs, making your bed safe etc…) then it is not dangerous. My husband and I co-slept with both our babies because it was enabled us (especially me) to get more sleep, especially while I was still breastfeeding. It wasn’t a conscious decision we made but it just happened. My kids are both light sleepers (just like their parents) and constantly woke when they were babies. I would be so tired in the morning from running back and forth to their cots, lifting them in and out, that I was unable to function properly during the day. I was even scared to drive longer distances because I feared falling asleep at the wheel. Now they are 3 and 6 and they do still occassionally wander to our room and get into our bed (rare is a morning when we wake up with just the two of us in bed! Luckily it is king size!). Some of our friends don’t let their children into their bed but that is their decision. Funnily enough those friends let their dog sleep in their bed and our dog isn’t even allowed in our bedroom….to each their own….However, in so many cultures the children sleep with the parents in one bed so to suggest it is dangerous is rather strange. I saw one commenter comparing it to freebirthing…ridiculous.
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I’m not a parent, but I do subscribe to the puppy analogy!
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I was 100% against bed sharing before I became a parent. But the night my son was born, in the hospital, it felt so natural and wonderful to sleep beside him. I was worried the nurses would lecture me (there was a crib beside mine for my baby), but when the night nurse came in she said “oh that’s good for them.” I know this was just her personal opinion but it made me feel better to have it validated by someone other than myself.
Bed sharing must be practiced safely, but I wouldn’t have it any other way while my babies are little.
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Yeah it’s nice until you wake up with a dead baby, like the poor mother who was advise by a midwife to co-sleep with her newborn. How can you trust that you won’t accidentally smother your baby? You’re asleep and probably exhausted, you have no control. It’s just not safe!
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I think that an analysis of 4 deaths does not warrant making parents again feel as if they are criminals. I think a broader consideration of research is required in order to give parents reliable and accurate advice. In the UK I was told safe co-sleeping was okay – and research of some communities that had a high rate of co-sleeping actually had lower levels of SIDS (this may also be attributed to a particular community that does not drink, smoke etc). For what it is worth my approach would depend on the baby – my first didn’t co-sleep but my second did but only occasionally. If I had a baby that seemed to need it I would probably invest in a bedside crib (the ones that attach to your bed so there is no chance of the baby falling between the cot and your mattress and also gives the baby their own sleeping space).
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I’m sure someone has already said this, but…. Parents who actively choose to co sleep, have done the research about sleeping positions etc (so no pillows, individual blankets, doonas etc) are not putting their bubbas at risk. For me, education about co sleeping is like educatioon about birth control in that it won’t ‘encourage’ people to participate who otherwise wouldn’t have but it helps those who might ‘fall’ into it know how to do it safely. There is a big difference between choosing and prepating to sleep with a baby and falling asleep with them beside you. Tis second scenario is where the danger lies.
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I co slept with my second child because she kept going blue and when i took her to hosital i got told she would grow out of it. i woke up so often to find her not breathing. she is now 2 1/2 and after a sleep study have been told she has central apnea ( her brain forgets to breath sometimes) and not to worry as she always starts to breath again and she will grow out of it. i hate to think what would of happened if she stopped breathing and she wasn’t in my arms.
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Mum still talks about how she didn’t get a full nights sleep untill I was about 4 for the same reason. I would sleep from 7pm-7am but mum would have to shake me every now & then because I would just stop breathing. I was never diagnosed with anything & I mostly grew out of it but occasionally my partner says he has to elbow me cos he can’t hear me breathing.
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Sleeping with your baby may have an aspect of danger, but so is putting them in the car, on a train, going to the beach, and many, many other activities that have a certain amount of risk. Actually, there is risk associated with every activity.
This recommendation came from the coroner looking at the deaths of 4 babies. Let’s not get carried away and suddenly brand parents who have their babies in bed with them as bad parents. They aren’t.
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Actually it was reported on the news that of the 80 SIDS deaths in Australia annually half were co – sleeping. So not just 4 deaths it’s 40.
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But that means half were not co-sleeping. So I don’t understand why its more dangerous to co-sleep. If you turned it around the other way you could say “half of SIDS deaths were in infants who were sleeping in their cot alone, therefore not co-sleeping is dangerous.”
Seems like the chances of SIDS are 50/50 whether they have their own bed or not. Is there something I’m missing?
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I’m also curious as to how many of those 40 sets of parents were following all of the safe co-sleeping guidelines. Maybe all of them were but I’d like to see the data on that as well. There’s a big difference between having your child in your bed and properly co-sleeping.
Regardless, I do agree that the stat Sara posted doesn’t make much of a case for not co-sleeping if the rate of SIDS is the same.
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Yes! You are definitely missing something! The children who passed away in their cots would most likely have died from an unpreventable condition i.e. cardiac or undiagnosed metabolic condition. The babies that passed away whilst co sleeping are almost always suffocated by parents, pillows or covers….therefore preventable!!! Of course it’s more dangerous to co sleep!
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Anonymous if you look at my post above where I quoted Faybian, you’ll see where I was coming from.
“SIDS is the term used for a baby that has had a post mortem performed, for which no cause of death can be attributed.
Accidental death is the term for a baby that has had a post mortem performed, for which a cause has been identified, such as smothering by a doona etc.
SUDI is the term for a baby that has died and hasn’t yet had a post mortem performed. It is the blanket term and means sudden unexplained death of an infant.”
Again – a baby without an attributable cause of death is listed as dying of SIDS ie no suffocation. If they had been suffocated = Accidental Death.
Let’s wait and see after Faybian double checks tomorrow or feel free to consult medical journals yourself if you have access to them.
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Did you get any clarity on this? Since smothering is SUDI, I’m gathering that the babies who died of SIDS while co-sleeping were suspected to have been either unexplained or in unsafe co-sleeping environments (where a parent smokes for example), but it doesn’t give any idea of what part of co-sleeping was determined as the cause of death. So its pretty unhelpful in that way… it could be that if you are safely co-sleeping that the risk is no greater than putting your child in a cot alone. They should really keep the SUDI and SIDS results clear and separate so that parents who co-sleep according to the guidelines can guage how safe it is, and parents who do not co-sleep can do the same!
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So that means that the other 40 were in the cot.
Why is presumed that if a baby dies in a cot that it is simply one of those terrible things, but if the baby dies in a co-sleeping situation, than it is the co-sleeping that was to blame? Did the news say that those 40 babies would have survived if in a cot??
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Yeah but how many babies in all of Australia are co-sleeping. If it’s less than exactly half, then they are over-represented in the fatalities therefore it’s reasonable to conclude it must be a factor.
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Great point! There is also an element of risk to babies if their mothers are perpetually sleep deprived. Infact I would go even further and argue that in some cases the risk of PND, accidents etc due to lack of sleep is probably higher than the risk of SIDS. Doesn’t work for everyone but sometimes co-sleeping is the only practical way of ensuring some sleep for desperate mums. I really worry that this latest research is going to result in even more sleep deprivation for new mothers.
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I sometimes co-slept a little w my daughter but only usually if I fell asleep during feeding. As a rule though, I put her back in the cot, which was right next to my bed. And I do feel that this is the safest option. However, my son would wake so often and cry so much I mostly kept him in bed w me. Once, when he was about 2 wks old, I woke up because I felt I was rolling onto him, he was also under our duvet! That was really scary. After I made sure he was up by the bedhead and nowhere near our duvet (in his own sleeping bag). I did not enjoy co-sleeping but did this because he woke so often. We had a patch of good sleeping (2-5 months of age) when he was only fed once or twice at night and slept on his own, but after that he was up sometimes every 40 min, so I kept him w me again and fed him on demand through the night. It was exhausting. He is now 5 and only just getting the hang of sleeping through in his own bed even though I moved him out of ours at 10 months old.
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The majority of mothers in the world sleep next to their babies. It is the most natural and instinctive thing to do. I co-slept with my daughter and I believe she was much safer for it. We were so in-sync with one another and we have a fiercely strong bond now which is partly because she felt so safe, warm and protected in bed with me at night. Its not for everyone and each to their own, but I don’t see anything wrong with it so long as you follow the basic safety guidelines: don’t co-sleep if you are obese, don’t drink alcohol excessively, don’t use sleeping pills or illicit substances while co-sleeping, don’t co-sleep if you are a smoker and make sure your bed is safe. The coroner didn’t mention whether these factors played a part in the deaths, but this is usually the case.
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I wondered if there were other factors at play too (like the drinking, smoking etc), or if these were straight-out suffocation cases. I wonder if any of the news reports elaborated on this…?
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I was interested how the general mood of the responses would be to this article. Yet again I am not surprised. There will always be people who no matter how much “sound evidence” is flung at them will continue doing something that is fundamentally risky due to their own personal and perhaps slightly selfish reasons. It goes hand in hand with freebirthing. How much evidence and how many warnings do people need to take this seriously?
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This isn’t really sound evidence. This is the coroner’s findings from a review of 4 babies deaths. Sound research has been performed by Professor James McKenna who is the Director of the Centre for Behavioural Studies of Mother Infant Sleep @ Notre Dame University. He has a PhD in Anthropology, has had articles published by the WHO and supports the view that SAFE co-sleeping reduces the rids of SIDS.
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Not to be offensive but I have a police friend who has told me that this scenario of co sleeping resulting in death has increased because it is common practice in Islander cultures and often occurs with pretty overweight parents. This is something they have witnessed in a area with a large demographic of this kind. So the stats here may be a bit skewed.
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To me, it sounds like the coroner is saying that a baby has an equal chance (“up to half”) of dying from accidental death sleeping with its parents as it does sleeping in a cot. Maybe the point the coroner is trying to make is that sleeping with parents isn’t (as I think I’ve read somewhere) a way of reducing the risk of SIDS. From this research the risk sounds equal.
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OMG here we go again…..anything in the world can cause death if you think about it hard enough. Its about as likely as it is when you are sleeping your baby alone in this case.
More inflammatory BS for the mummy wars…. zzzzz
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I never co-slept but I was so paranoid about my babies that I had a sound and movement monitor (of course my family thought I was a paranoid fool….)
With my second baby the alarm went one afternoon about 2pm. He was asleep in his cot alone in the room. I rushed in and he was grey and completely limp….but regained muscle tone and took a big breath after a few seconds of me picking him up (I can’t bear think what would have happened without the alarm).
It happened a number of times and we had a sleep study done and he did stop breathing, but always spontaneously started again… it was horrible whenever I let him sleep elsewhere as I didn’t have the monitor. NO WAY was he allowed to sleep in our bed off the monitor.
I just hate hearing about SIDS as I feel like we dodged a bullet and just wish everyone would not assume *they* will the ok…..
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that sounds awfully scary Sarah, I’m glad you had the monitor too. i’m scared myself about things like that happening, what brand monitor sound/ movement did you use?
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Angelcare sound and movement monitor.
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These monitors do not comply with Australian national standards and research have shown that they do not reduced the incidence of SIDS in anyway. Children have unfortunately passed away whilst being on them (the alarm hasn’t sounded) whilst most of the time they go off for no reason. Obviously what happened with Sarah’s child is very scary but she made the key point “he always started breathing spontaneously again”. I wouldn’t waste your money on these monitors, they will just cause you unneeded stress.
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How do you know that they go off for no reason? Perhaps the alarm has roused the child from that deep sleep where they stop breathing? I’d rather get up to 10 ‘no reason’ alarms than get up to a dead baby.
My sister nearly died when she was a baby. The hospital put her on a monitor – that used to go off regularly. Because she had stopped breathing. Perhaps that makes us paranoid in our family, but that is one thing I will happily be paranoid about.
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Sarah, it sounds like you and your baby did dodge a bullet, but I really don’t like monitors. I’ve seen far too many mums become an anxious wreck, monitoring the monitor.
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I have a sleep monitor for my 10 month old, best think I have ever bought in my life !
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Just out of curiosity, do the statistics on sudden infant deaths distinguish between when the child has suffocated or been accidentally smothered (rolled on my parent, caught in between the side of the cot and an ill-fitting mattress) and death for which no cause can be found? Perhaps instead of using the term “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome” we should use the words “Unexplained Infant Death Syndrome” and have the smothered/suffocated babies removed from this group. Just a thought.
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They are in a different category. A baby is only declared officially to have died of SIDS after a post mortem and those that die from accidental suffocation for instance are actually labelled an accidental death. Before post mortems, all deaths of babies are labelled sudi (sudden unexplained death of infant).
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I wonder how many people actually know that there’s a difference etc? just curious…
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Why do parents want to co-sleep? No that is not a rhetorical question, I am child-free and pehaps naive, so am genuinely curious as to what the perceived advantages are for both parents & bub? (and I’m not talking about the odd time bub falls asleep in parent’s bed after a feed, or bub is sick etc – I mean parents who consciously decide they want to raise they babies/children this way)
All the parents of babies & toddlers I know love their children dearly but crave their own space after a long day looking after them, so am quite fascinated as to why adults would want to share their bed with their kids? Just don’t get it…..
Enlighten me!! : )
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I have 3 kids and have slept with them all when they were babies (one is 4 months so still is). Not for any philosophy, just simply because it felt like the “right” thing to do. My mum always to told me to forget the books and parent by what’s in your heart. My heart told me to sleep with my kids when they were little. They are babies for such a short amount of time and I love snuggling up with them, breathing in their smell etc. Once they dropped their late night feeds I moved them to the cot in our rooms – so it’s not forever, but occassionally the 3 year old still comes in mid way through the night (on his dad’s side – away from the baby!) and that is lovely as well.
Other friends of mine can’t think of anything worse. I think it is a very personal decision.
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Well personally I would want my newborn right near me so they don’t feel terrified when they wake up and sense they’re vulnerable; they can be comforted quickly which results in less stress from crying. There are special bassinets you can get so that the baby is close but you won’t roll onto them.
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My baby came home after a 2mth hospital stay and I tried a customised bassinet but I was staying awake all night making sure he was breathing. Because there weren’t any monitors or nurses around any more, I was too paranoid to sleep. Finally I talked to the hospital because as a single mother, I knew I couldn’t function like that indefinitely. They suggested I try co-sleeping and sent someone to my house to guide me through it all.
Now he’s almost 3 and still sleeps with me. He has his own bed but just isn’t interested. Even if he’s ready for a nap in the afternoon he’ll wander off to my room and go to sleep regardless of what I try. But I don’t have a partner and I’m honestly not bothered having him sleep with me. Most of the time I go to bed after him anyway so I’m not really sure why he loves my bed so much as it’s not like we often cuddle all night or anything. However he’s obviously happy with that arrangement and I’m not fussed either way so I’m not going to worry about it.
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I was a single Mum when I had my daughter as well, and I also had complications with her that made me very anxious and unable to sleep, I kept getting up to check her breathing. And inevitably she would cry because she wanted a cuddle/ feed and I would be up and down all night. With no partner to help, I was exhausted so we co-slept. She is still in my bed at 3.5 years old. Now I work full time and have to travel quite a lot, so for the both of us its a real bonding thing.
I do have a partner now so when he’s here my daughter goes to sleep in my bed, then I move her to her bed when we want to go to bed, and then around 4am she comes and knocks on the door and pops into bed with the both of us. We are all cool with this arrangement, so like you, I’m not going to worry about it!
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My girl is 3, and still sleeps in my bed with me. She’s also got her own room and bed, and usually sleeps there in the warmer months. Now that it’s the middle of winter and cold, it’s cheaper to only heat one bedroom (and combine body heat!).
The situation with your daughter and partner sounds lovely and uncomplicated, Mish
Good on you three! As does yours with your boy, beans 
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Thanks Iris – Yours sounds lovely as well! I had never thought about the cost savings with only heating one bedroom but that’s another perk. Happy boy + happy bank account haha. And yes Mish does have a great setup. Sounds like an ideal way to keep everyone happy.
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I really enjoyed having my kids share the bed. When they are little they are so vulnerable and totally dependent, and I got a real kick out of being able to take my daughter from her mum after feeding and put her to sleep on my chest. It gave wifey a break and she would be able to sleep and I was more relaxed than she was, so bubs would sleep on me really well. That meant we all got a decent amount of sleep.
It’s one of the sweetest memories that I have with the kids.
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After falling asleep while sitting up breastfeeding in the middle of the night co-sleeping made a whole lot more sense to me. I would roll over and feed and fall back asleep. Also, I live in Tassie and it’s just not possible to keep the house I live in very warm overnight in winter and no matter how well you wrap a child, they don’t produce their own heat until they’re a bit older – if they get cold they stay cold and need an external source to warm them up. Co-sleeping on the colder nights helps avoid one more ‘waking’ overnight.
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I did not co-sleep, breast feed or have a natural birth. I love my children very much and we share a very close bond. Go figure! Who’s needy and therefore needs to be nurtured??? I think it’s mummy. We all know baby can survive…….. Grow up its someone else’s turn not yours.
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I think these comments are a bit unfair. Mummy needs to be nurtured???It has nothing to do with this, it mainly due to getting more sleep. I don’t think mothers who co sleep feel they have a closer bond to their kids. Feeling happy and rested will always help you bond with your child.
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You just said it! YOU dont want to get out of bed. I would be devastated if I smothered my baby because I wanted more sleep and an easy option. Baby’s are hard you don’t get sleep. You have your own bed give them the privilege of theirs.
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Why be this person, Meg??
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Because she’s obviously too ignorant to consider any viewpoint that differs from her own experience.
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It was recommended to me – by a pediatric cardiologist – that I co-sleep with both of my babies due to the possibiltiy of their having the same heart condition I have. My doctor supported evidence that demonstrated that breastfeeding mothers’ breathing became in sync with their babies while sleeping, and if the baby was in distress the mother would become aware.
To be fair – I did not drink alcohol, or take any ‘drowsy’ medication throughout the time my babies were in bed with me. I took every step to ensure they were kept safe regarding bedding and sleep positions.
Did this mean I also got more sleep than if I was putting them back into a separate bed – probably? And good, mums need sleep too. Did I enjoy having my babies snuggled beside me – yes, I did, I will not apologise for that.
I am happy that you feel bonded to your children, raising them in a way that you believe is right. Good for you!! I would offer that same opportunity to every parent who makes informed, considered decisions – even if they are different from mine. Besides, if you haven’t ever co-slept, how do you know what you are missing out on?
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Everyone likes the feeling of cuddling their baby and falling asleep, sleep however is unpredictable, if you are not awake you can not be responsible for your actions. Im not a coroner but Im pretty sure I trust one.
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I co-slept and cannot imagine how if you (the mother) are sober it would be possible to role on/drop/smother your baby. You sleep in a completely different sort of way. Unless you’ve done it you can’t understand that you are totally aware that there’s a person there all the time. It’s just the same as sleeping with an adult – I mean, surely you don’t role on your partner?
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Unless you’ve co-slept with your babies/children, whether it be a planned strategy or one used to look after the ongoing sleep and mental health needs of everyone, you should be careful of the assumptions you make about why people do it. To suggest mothers do it just because THEY like it or that it’s EASY is way off the mark for most. There are way too many reasons behind co-sleeping that they couldn’t be expressed in a paragraph.
Coroners investigate the deaths of a few, not the lives of the many; so I don’t think that makes them an expert in this (obviously controversial) area. Only controversial in the Western world of course, other cultures and communities would think we’re the nutty ones!
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sounds very similar to the attacks on women who choose homebirth – apparently they are selfish and do it only for their own pleasure or so we are told…..
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Hi Meg, I did/do co-sleep, I breastfed all 3 and had natural births. I too love my children and share a very close bond. I’m also not needy or looking for nurturing from my children. I’m just parenting my kids they way that feels right to me, which is what I assume you are doing. Go Us!!
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I’ve mentioned elsewhere that we have an open bed – at times DD needs the closeness of being in our bed (and it’s often when it’s inconvenient for us). An example of this is that we recently had a very stormy night and DD was scared and wouldn’t sleep in her cot. It would be a very hard mother who insisted that a 15 month old baby who is demonstrating fear from a noise that no-one can control stay in her own bed and ‘tough it out’ (and yes, I did try a range of calming and sleep activities first).
I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of her falling asleep beside me, and the inherent display of trust which was included, but I’m also the first to stick her back into her own bed when she doesn’t need me. It’s not selfish or immature that I enjoy it. And I’d be the first to say that she needs to be in her own bed where she (and I) get the greatest benefit from sleep. Do I want her in my bed more? Not anymore! When she was little? I could’ve slept with her all day, but enjoying it while it lasts and wanting to do it forever are two different things.
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Good grief, there’s a lot of vitriol there, Meg!
“We all know baby can survive”… no, we don’t. I believe the above study quotes 50% of deaths as being babies who were sleeping on their own. Some parents like having their children close to them at night in case something does go wrong or to monitor them if there have been health issues.
“I did not co-sleep, breast feed or have a natural birth.” Your opening sentence sounds overly defensive – which I do understand, given the way some mothers on this site seem to tear shreds off one another for their parenting choices.
I’m all for healthy, enlightening discussion, but why the inclusion of such nastiness?? Enough!
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The only time I co slept with my baby was in hospital with our first. After an emergency csection and little or no help caring for my baby that first night I took her into bed with me. I took the rail down on my side and slept with most of my body hanging ver the edge. When the nurse found me I had to sign a paper saying I had been advised of the danger. Once we got home she slept in a cradle next to me.
Scarier for me was having an 10 week old baby regulary rolling over onto her tummy, I spent a week getting up and puttingbher back in her back before I gave up and let her sleep the way she obviously wanted.
Thankfully our second baby had read the manual and agreed with back sleeping.
Did anyone ever have that sinking feeling, when you would wake up realizing that bub had sleep an astounding amount of time, and the thought in the back of your head “is she still alive?” so scary
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I remember that feeling; My son was a terrible sleeper, and the first few times he slept through the night, I woke up at 6am and completely freaked out because I hadn’t heard a peep from him. Thankfully all was well, but it still scared me.
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Surely this is a topic that needs an evidence-based approach and based on good evidence. The evidence is not conclusive abiut all approaches to co-sleeping. Conclusive about bad practises – e.g. Wrong bedding, on s couch, too hot wtc.. Evidence from numbers of deaths is from a very small number of cases, mostly when co-sleeping was not planned and done carefully.
Evidence actually suggests a protective effect of co-sleeping against cot death, when done properly (I.e. thoughtfully, with correct bedding etc.). Medicos and coroners don’t like this messy reality, believing people are too stupid to do things properly if they get even a whiff of this truth.
Irresponsible journalism to publish opinion pieces on such topics. No excuse that mamamia is not a news site.
Interesting that mamamia promotes loosening anxiety about dangers to unsupervised children in public, against police warnings and evidence, and yet is pushing another strong line here about the only way to care for your baby. Things are not do black and white here.
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Think about the opposite – as soon as it’s “medically” condoned to sleep with your kids, that’s when the suing starts.
When we live in a society that doesn’t need a warning label “do not use while sleeping” on their hairdryers, then maybe there can be a set of guidelines expertly drawn to cosleep safely.
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Hey Matiekorgan – I get your point, but I don’t think that’s really the issue here. I think there is a quite paternalistic attitude from the medical profession/health professions towards parenting of babies. They go way beyond avoiding legal issues (e.g. could just make no comments about co-sleeping, or be equivocal about it, as they are about other things) and step into advocacy of not co-sleeping. The dangers of a baby sleeping alone in a room are far higher and well documented. That is not an issue of bedding or anything else. Even though most cases of death with co-sleeping are due to bedding, parents having used alcohol, or whatever, rather than the fact of sharing a bed, they are overtly and aggressively anti co-sleeping. Just as most doctors still disapprove of breastfeeding beyond a certain age – with no evidence to back them up – or act like there is a problem with what you are doing if your child does not sleep through the night every night (the problem might be the lack of co-sleeping…..).
The history of paternalism with baby-care is long. And in our days, it sometimes amounts to cultural prejudice, given the large numbers of people living in Australia now from cultures where co-sleeping is absolutely the norm and part of a long-standing culture of parenting that is NOT dangerous.
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The problem is that when people from other cultures come here they often change their sleeping practices from harder beds or the floor with minimal bedding to the big soft beds, quilts, pillows etc
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I’m not a fan of co-sleeping personally, but both my babies have slept in a cradle beside out bed, in arms reach of me until 6 months.
I think that co-sleeping CAN be done safely, but I think that it requires a lot of forethought and effort to do so. Co-sleeping as an afterthought (just falling asleep with bub after a feed, or bringing them into your bed as a last resort because you are exhausted and they won’t settle) is a recipe for disaster.
To co-sleep safely, I would think that you would need a king sized mattress on the floor with no pillows or bedding (except for a bottom sheet). You would need to be in the middle with your partner on one side and the baby on the other (not between it’s parents to lower the risk of rolling on baby, and baby must not be beside the wall or they could get squished between the wall and the mattress). YOu would need to dress yourself and baby warm enough for bed without extra bedding (baby in a grobag type thing: shame they don’t make adult sized ones…)
We do sometimes sleep with our older child, but didn’t start doing that until she was out of her cot and sleeping with a pillow and doona of her own
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I am a fan of co-sleeping so this warning sits at odds with me.
I would like to see the stats unpacked a bit more. For example saying half the babies who die from SIDS are in co- sleeping arrangements makes me wonder about the the other half who are not. What percentage of families co-sleep? A quick poll of my friends and family suggests that about 90% share their bed with their children at least some of the time. I would also like to know if there were additional risk factors and if there was a stacking of risks.
Co-sleeping kept me sane, enhanced our bonding and at one point probably saved my son’s life. I think if we are going to insist parents don’t co-sleep then we have to provide new mums with much greater support on a day to day basis.
I also think that in trying to mitigate the risks of SIDS we don’t attribute blame to the parents should they loose their child to SIDS. I feel great compassion for families who experience such a loss.
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The good thing about advice is that it is their to inform you. Sometimes it is easy to follow and sometimes it isn’t.
Like Kate Hunter, my first 3 children were all breastfed and put back in their own beds. It is more effort, especially on a cold winter’s night but is what I wanted to do. I think it develops a good routine for the baby, allows you to fully relax in your own bed and also avoids problems later when you don’t want children in your bed.
With my 4th baby, that was fine until 3 months old when despite being fully breastfed, she developed very bad eczema and scratched herself to bits. Everything I tried failed, and eventually I had to sleep with her in my bed, holding her hands all night to prevent her shredding herself. I think she was quite safe as I slept lightly in that situation but it wasn’t very satisfactory for me. You just do what you have to do.
BTW, number 1 slept on his side as I was taught. The next 2 slept on their tummies as I was then taught. Number 4 of course was on her back as obviously, I had got it all completely wrong with the first 3.
Number 1 had solids introduced at 4 months, the next 3 were fully breastfed until 6 months. A friend with a young baby now tells me it has gone back down again.
I think you do the best with what you know and go with your instinct.
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I think that this is a good point – guidelines change all the time. I have recently done the rounds of testing with my DD as her head is large for her height/weight. The new GP finally tells me “Oh this is very common now that babies only sleep on their backs. Their heads get flattened on the back, or one or both sides and appear to be out of proportion. It never happened with tummy sleeping”. Whatever the reason for sleeping positions and arrangements, introduction of solid foods, age for wearing shoes etc etc etc, it will al change in time with new evidence. I fully expect that in time it’ll be shown that some of the current SIDS recommendations will be shown to contribute or have no effect on the rate of SIDS. It all depends on the research etc.
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My little girl never sleeps with us because firstly, I wouldn’t get any sleep with her in the bed and secondly, I want her to sleep comfortably and well in her own room in the long term. I really don’t want a there year old in my bed every night in two years time. Having said that I completely understand why it works for some people – there shouldn’t be a problem if guidelines are followed. Interestingly my husband has a recurring dream that our daughter is in our bed and can’t breathe – so we try to avoid her being in there at all.
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Oh gosh, what a horrible dream for your hubby. Although co-sleeping was great and still works with my first (now 4) – it was never necessary and wouldn’t work with our second, now 19 mths. Funny how 2 kids and thus arrangements can be so different. It has proven to me that what is best for one child is not the same for another.
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What annoys me is: ‘it’s the habit that thousands of sleep deprived parents fall in to”… How patronising.
What about this: I chose and continue to choose to sleep next to my children for a range of reasons. I am their mother, sleeping wrapped in eachothers arms is about as natural as hugging them.
In many parts of the world, cosleeping is the general norm and instances of SIDs are at their lowest in sone of these countries. Take Japan for example – everyone co-sleeps – the age old belief is the two parents are the mountains and the child is the valley that lies between them. Lowest instance of SIDs worldwide. The problem is not the act of sleeping next to your child – its the circumstances that may surround it; whether it be alcohol, smoking, severe sleep deprivation etc..
So, get informed people and apply some common sense. Co sleeping is not an ‘accidental habit’ that may kill your child!!
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Jess, I agree with you in the fact that SIDS incidence is lower in Eastern countries, but having seen how many parents co-sleep with their children in these areas, it’s like comparing apples to oranges.
For example, a lot of Eastern babies sleep just with their mother on a futon or bamboo type mattress on the floor until they have weaned, then they move in with Dad. Sometimes they are in their own little baskets on the floor next to mum on the futon. They pretty much aren’t ever in Western style beds with doonas and electric blankets and both parents, which is what is being advised against.
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I can’t speak for Japan but in rural China where you sleep in the family bed (loads of fun for an adult with a bunch of strangers
P ) the bed is built on top of a horizontal ‘flu’ for the stove – it’s hotter than an electric blanket!
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I agree, there are many differences between eastern and western life but at the core, we are the same; parents raising our young usually via a combination of instinct and common sense. So, regardless of whether you are sleeping on a bamboo matt, futon or king size bed in a hut or a house or even under the stars… And so long as you don’t have any bulky doonas, pillows and aren’t intoxicated, it’s ok.
Oh, unless of course some man in an office somewhere in Australia says otherwise…
I didn’t co-sleep because people do it in the east, I co-slept on and off with my first child because that’s what worked for us. It wasn’t the best situation for our second child. Every situation is unique – hence the need for an open mind when it comes to parenting
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Hi Jess I had also heard that Japan had the lowest SIDS but that it was a cultural norm to have baby in a cradle/cot next to the bed, not to actually have baby in bed with adults.
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Hi Alison.. Many anthropological studies have been done on the Japanese practice of co sleeping. The norm is for parents to co sleep with their children until they are 11 to 15 yrs old. As I mentioned it’s called ‘kawa’ the parents being the mountains and the children between them, the valley. If you have a bit of a read online, you will find that they do share the same bed – usually a futon or bamboo bed
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I wish there was some more info re the circumstances of the deaths he reviewed. Were these accidental suffocations? And if not, is he implying that these babies would have survived if in a cot??
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I have co slept with all my babies. Of course you’re not putting the baby on the edge of the bed , or putting a big pillow near their heads etc etc. It’s about using a little common sense which most mothers have when it comes to their babies. I would not of changed a thing and I loved every minute of it.
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I have co-
slept with both of mine, I am still sleeping with my nearly 2 year old and honestly i find it hard not too. This has freaked me out a bit but i think its not research but one mans opinion (albeit an important one). It would break my heart not to sleep with # 3 (on the way) but i guess this article has encouraged me to maybe change the bedding or make sure I’m more safe. Maybe even one of those little beds in my bed for extra safety. Who knows. i agree there is way too much inconsistent info when it comes to parental instruction.
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As long as the parent is sober, not morbidly obese, or drug affected, no problem. happier babies and parents! We’ve been “co-sleeping” for thousands of years, but hey, there’s a man who now knows better!!
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Mass270248,
What does the gender of the coroner have to do with it? I’m a father and slept with all of my kids, are you saying that I have no idea simply because I have a dick?
That was a really stupid statement.
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19 8 114 5′
True, it was rather gender squewed, but instead of attacking someone who supports co sleeping, how about commenting on some of the other judgemental separatists.
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It’s simple. Co sleeping puts your baby at risk of a bed accident so don’t do it. Breast feeding reduces the risk of SIDS so if possible do it (I understand not all women can as I am one who can not). Why all the discussion? Our main priority as parents should always be to keep our children safe.
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I think there is ‘all the discussion’ because things are not that simple. Sometimes it is more practical to share a bed with a baby, not every baby will settle by themselves. I breastfed my daughter to sleep for months, every time I tried to move her she would wake so I stopped trying to move her. Not every baby is an ‘easy baby’, some of them can be very restless and irritable. In my opinion the risk to my baby would have been greater if I’d gone without sleep for any longer trying to get her to settle in a cot.
Taking your baby for a drive in the car puts the baby at risk of a car accident but we do it because it is practical. We do lots of things that have an element or risk because without doing them life would be very difficult.
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How simple! How about this: Pushing a baby out of your vagina puts it at risk of getting stuck and therefore dying – so don’t do it!
If only everything were really as black and white as this
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