BY KATE HUNTER
A father in Germany was caring for his 5 month old twins and a toddler.
The kids were crying and dad was at a loss as to what to do. So he called the police.
As you do… RT.com reported:
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The 31-year-old father from Weiden became overwhelmed when the tearful tykes let lose the waterworks in concert on Sunday night.
Unluckily for the Bavarian man, the babies’ mother wasn’t there and he couldn’t reach her by phone as his two five-month old twins and their two-year old sister let loose with a torrent of tears.
Having failed to reach his wife by phone and unable to calm his babies down, the father desperately started looking for a helping hand, or in this case the long arm of the law.
The “Friends and helpers”, as the German police motto reads, heard out the father’s sob story and offered some helpful babysitting tips, leaving the pitiable papa to his parent trap.
I’m, not entirely sure what the poor man wanted to do with the kids … charge them with disturbing the peace? Give them a night in the lock up?
It’s hilarious stuff.
But as I was guffawing to my friend, she reminded me that I took my 8 day old son back to the hospital because he was crying so much. Surely there had to be something wrong. It was as though he was a digital camera I couldn’t quite work out.
‘Nothing wrong with this baby,’ the nurse said kindly, ‘They do cry, sometimes a lot, but good on you for checking he’s all right.’
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So now I feel sorry for that Bavarian bloke. A bit. I’d feel even sorrier for him if I hadn’t read that he’d repeatedly tried to CALL HIS WIFE before calling the police. The poor fraulein was out, probably cutting loose with a beerstein and a wurst for the first time in months!
All right, she’s more likely to have been at an appointment, the supermarket or even stuck in traffic – either way, she was enjoying, for a few hours, the pure joy of NOT BEING IN CHARGE.
In October, another friend – a mum from my kids’ school took off with a couple of gal pals on a trip to Japan. She’d only left the house for a few hours when her 5 year old son tumbled off the back of the couch and broke his arm in several places.
Despite the fact that the boy’s Dad had every opportunity to call her before her plane took off, he waited until she was sipping sake in Tokyo, the kid’s arm was set, and his painkillers were working a treat before the call was made. My friend enjoyed her holiday and her husband enjoyed the adoration of every woman he’s ever met.
If Bavarian dad was panicked, worried about his kids and his ability to cope – he did absolutely the right thing in calling for help – even the police. Kids’ safety is no joke. But if he was just fed up and looking for someone to sort them out so he could go back to watching competitive folk dancing (or whatever they watch in Bavaria) in peace then sorry, that’s just not on.
Listening to crying babies and whinging toddlers is torturous. I’d be surprised if recordings are not used as torture in Guantanamo Bay. But it’s the soundtrack to the lives of primary carers around the world and there are no magic fixes, other than headphones. When it comes to noisy kids, the police are as powerless as the rest of us.
Do you think the Dad overreacted in calling the police?
Comments
50 Comments so far
HEADLINE “GERMAN FATHER CHARGED WITH KILLING HIS CHILDREN.”
“The 31-year-old father from Weiden became overwhelmed when the tearful tykes let lose the waterworks in concert on Sunday night.
Unluckily for the Bavarian man, the babies’ mother wasn’t there and he couldn’t reach her by phone as his two five-month old twins and their two-year old sister let loose with a torrent of tears.
Having failed to reach his wife by phone and unable to calm his babies down, the father killed his three children.”
This could have been the alternative headline and ending to that news story.
Whilst I would never be in this boat myself choosing to simply walk away from a crying baby to compose myself before taking on the challenge again, I think it is good that he reached out to someone, even if it was the police.
And this alternative story could have easily have been “the 31 year old Bavarian woman….” Far too many times I see in the paper parents taking a drastic route (remember the mother who let her baby drown in the bath on purpose?) and we have focused recently on the R U OK? campaign.
I am laughing at this guy, trust me. Laughing just as much as the mothers who read this story and go “dads are useless.” (do I add an lol to this?)
But he couldn’t cope, he reached out, hopefully at the very least his mind had been put at ease, and we can move on knowing that 3 wonderful German children have a dad who cared enough to seek help instead of lashing out or worse…
Das ist wunderbar
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Reading this story, and the comments… I was kind of wondering, in Australia, do we have a hotline for desperate fathers (and mothers!) to call when they just don’t know what to do with their kids, or are at their wits end?
Perhaps talking to someone who is calm and rational in that situation would help. Like a “Parenting Lifeline”.
Might do a world of good… would probably be really helpful to mothers with PND…
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HAHA! Oh no the poor guy! I must say I think this guy deserves an award for looking after twin 5month olds plus a toddler!!!
He must have been very depserate and no doubt it was the first and last time he looked after all three by himself!
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I am child care worker and I can assure you that if three babies under two crying are stressful just imagine what 18 under 2′s crying is like!
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I wonder, if there was a male oriented web site that supported men, giving hints on getting ahead on the corporate ladder and being a better father etc, while at the same mostly published stories about women that demonstrate how they are basically incompetent in the work environment (haha, a lady in Germany accidentally spilt her coffee down her front in a board meeting) while never offering up similar negative stories about men, would MM have a problem with this type of site, call it out for being sexist and misogynistic, I wonder???
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Go ahead and start one up then, if you wish.
Seriously, I remember Mia writing an opinion piece on the lady who was just about comatose she was so drunk when she picked up her kids from school. She’s also criticized the freebirthers/homebirthers, who not surprisingly are women. It’s not always articles putting men down and this one doesn’t put all men down, just comments about this one.
You’ve stated before that you come here to find out about women’s issues etc for the sake of your daughters, so why are you surprised that you don’t like some of what you read? If women went to MRA, or other male dominated websites they wouldn’t like what they read either.
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“If women went to MRA, or other male dominated websites they wouldn’t like what they read either.”
So you agree then?
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I find it sad that after attempting to contact his wife that he had noone else to contact before he called on the police.
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I wondered about that too. You’d hope he had family or friends he could have called instead. Even calling a hospital would’ve been better, he must’ve been in a panic.
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Twins, crying and no sleep will do strange things to the thought processes. The number for the police was probably the first one that came into his head.
Mr By, househusband extraordinaire, rang me the other day at work wanting to know what “bwah-T” meant. Baby By had been crying and refusing everything offered as it was not “bwah-T”.
Turns out “bwah-T” is pain killers. As soon as these were administered, sleep ensued for both baby and husband.
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There’s nothing at all funny about looking after a breast fed baby that won’t take a bottle, and the mother is out. Nothing will console them. It’s akin to torture and isn’t fair on Dad or the baby.
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Good to see the themes are consistent here.
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When my twins were 5 months old I also had a toddler who was 2 at the time, I can only sympathise with this dad and his wife because there is nothing more overwhelming when you are in this situation. His wife was probably having a break and they were probably both very sleep deprived. Even though that was 11 years ago, when I read this story tears came to my eyes because it brought back the feelings associated with this kind of stress.
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All I could think when reading this was ‘Poor bloke. That’s pretty much what I’d have done’.
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When my twins were 5 months old I to had a toddler who was 2 at the time, I can only sympathise with this dad and his wife because there is nothing more overwhelming when you are in this situation. His wife was probably having a break and they were probably both very sleep deprived. Even though that was 11 years ago, when I read this story tears came to my eyes because it brought back the feelings associated with this kind of stress.
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Twins, crying and no sleep will do strange things to the thought processes. The number for the police was probably the first one that came into his head.
Mr By, househusband extraordinaire, rang me the other day at work wanting to know what “bwah” meant. Baby By had been crying and refusing everything offered as it was not “bwah”.
Turns out “bwah” is pain killers. As soon as these were administered, sleep ensued for both baby and husband.
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I feel for the guy too and had a good cuckle but it made me think would my comments be the same if it was a mother who was in the same situation ? Maybe a mother would never phone the cops in this situation but I wonder if she did would we all be putting positive comments like we feel for her or would we be passing more harsh judgement ?
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I feel for the guy too and had a good cuckle but it made me think would my comments be the same if it was a mother who was in the same situation ? Maybe a mother would never phone the cops in this situation but I wonder if she did would we all be putting positive comments like we feel for her or would we be passing more harsh judgement ?
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I feel for the guy too and had a good cuckle but it made me think woiuld my comments be the same if it was a mother who was in the same situation ? Maybe a mother would never phone the cops in this situation but I wonder if she did would we all be putting positive comments like we feel for her or would we be passing more harsh judgement ?
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I feel for me, having just read the same thing 3 times.
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My dad called Lifeline to get help cooking a roast (he was recently divorced and couldn’t get hold of anyone he thought might know). He said the woman on the end of the line quite enjoyed helping him out …
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While this is amusing I cant help but think of the desperate people who may have got a busy signal while your dad was learning how to cook
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I sort of think that too – but I’m not sure of your experiences of divorce but mine was ‘traumatising’ as it was for all involved.
This is just one small thing and seems a bit silly but sometimes this could be the straw that will bring it all down and to have that bit of help when at the time there could be so many other undlying emotional stresses could have just saved the day.
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I volunteer at lifeline and you can see if there are calls waiting. Often there are no wait times so you can spend time on a call like this. If there’s a queue you don’t.
Also Lifeline is about suicide prevention, not just imminent crisis care. While someone may not be feeling suicidal at that point, offering them help, support or a friendly ear may help prevent things from escalating towards suicide ideation.
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My mum when suicidal has had difficulty getting onto Lifeline.
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better he talk it out with them then lose his s**t and hurt the kids which happens all too often
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I’m a cop and I really wouldn’t mind going to a job like this if it helped the guy out a bit. Like some people have commented, he could have done a lot worse. Sure, I’d probably have a laugh about it back at the station but it seriously wouldn’t bother me, we get called to a LOT worse than a dad at his wits end with three screaming babies, ie. one neighbour complaining about the other neighbour’s sprinkler water going on his lawn. I kid you not.
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Why are there multiple comments below along the lines of ‘better than him snapping and hurting them’…. assaulting your children is not a normal response to your children crying, while I’m sure the commentors didn’t mean to it makes it sound like that was the alternative reaction.
He didn’t know who to turn to, as long as he didn’t call the German equivalent of 000 no harm done, though I feel sad for him he didn’t have any family or friends he felt he could turn to.
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He is a man Confused, so surely only milliseconds from hurting of killing something.
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Some people are just panicky and that’s when they supposedaly react inaoppropriate(in others people’s eyes). I think he certainly hasn’t done anything wrong as opposed to those who do really unsafe or criminal things(killing their baby,leaving by them selfes,shaking).
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Bah! This sounds like my partner. I’m heading back to work soon and for the first time in 9 months, daddy’s going to take a turn at being caregiver. After months of being told that he doesn’t ‘think I’m doing it right!’ he actually wanted me to write him an ‘instruction manual’ for our son…um what? I had to figure it out the hard way – why can’t you? Guess I’ll give the local cop shop a heads up before my first shift…
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sounds like you are hoping he fails at his turn as ‘caregiver’ . I have myself felt at times with my partner an almost. ‘ha ha, sucker, your turn’, but it’s not helpful to the kids with this attitude ! Partnership is always best, give him a break, and some instructions on how to do it ‘the right way’, aka ‘ your way’. He’ll soon find out how tough it is.
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I had 12 months maternity leave and my ex-hubby was then taking 6 months long service leave after that, which would have taken us through to the estimated time we’d been given for a day care spot to be available. Turns out the day care spot came up early….our daughter started day care on the very day I went back to work. D’oh! Hubby then had a cruisey 6 months at home while the women of the house were out every day!
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If your husband was taking long service leave, he obviously deserved it after working for a loooong time.
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Better that he did that than snap and hurt them! Well done I say! He has 5 month old twins… no doubt he doesnt sleep 10 hours a night straight!
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No wonder that poor mother didn’t answer her phone. She obviously had a sneaking suspicion that her husband couldn’t cope and desperately needed a night off!
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I’d rather overwhelmed parents call the police than have them cause physical harm to their offspring…just sayin’ .. Perhaps if more ppl asked for help there would be a reduction in shaken baby syndrome etc.
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Better to call the police than lose it and hurt the babies.
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Agree. I know Mom needs a break sometimes, but shouldn’t she make sure her husband can reach her by phone? Not fair to leave dad with baby twins and a toddler with no way to reach her (and vice-versa). I would NOT be happy if I was left with the babies and my husband didn’t answer his phone. I can only imagine the amount of sleep deprivation this dad was experiencing to make him call 911…
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ahh no. you dont always have to be accessible by phone.
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Exactly! My friend’s husband calls her multiple times when she finally gets out the house once in a blue moon to have a very well deserved break and the result is it interrupts her night (once while we were watching a stage musical) and she ends up going home earlier than planned out of desperation. I swear its a tactic to stop her from leaving the kids with him
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I dont go anywhere without being accessible by phone. I am a massive worrier. I would be the one calling back home every hour making sure everything was OK!
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Your article failed to give us the police tips. I would have liked to have heard them.
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that would be something my brother would do. Seriously it’s no different to people that call the police because they have a spider in the house. It’s an inappropriate response to stress or fear.
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Haha! Love this piece Kate. Hmmmm….. I might try calling “the fuzz” when I’ve had a gutful of my 4 month & 2 year old howling in sync!!
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Having twins and another single child, and a husband who travelled extensively for his work in the first couple of years of their lives, I completely understand this poor man! No, I never called the cops but there were times when I sat on the floor and cried with them! Lol!
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I’m with you, Phary. As a twin mum, I was reading it thinking NOW WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?
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I feel for this father. Im not a parent or primary caregiver to small children so I really empathise with him in the sense that he was probably feeling overwhelmed and desperate for some help and guidance to deal with the situation. Hell, I panic if I’m holding a baby and they start to grizzle a little bit, I can only imagine the anxiety I would feel trying to deal with two babies and a toddler, on my own! Good on him for admitting he needed help I say (even if calling the police was a little extreme)
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I’d be fine with it if he’d called an ambulance because he genuinely thought there was something wrong on the health side, that they were hurt or sick and he couldn’t find the cause. But the police? My suggestion here is a nice big cup of concrete.
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Although I can see the funny side to the situation maybe he was feeling genuinely desperate and was reaching out for help.
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