Sometimes, when someone comments on this blog on a post where I’ve whinged about something in my life like the kids being sick or not sleeping or something, people will say “I don’t know how you do it.”
The answer is quite simple. It’s because I do this blog and my column and other work that has nothing to do with my children or my husband or my house that I am able to do the homefront stuff without GOING BARKING MAD. Does that make sense?
When you have a baby, your life as a person in your own right doesn’t cease to exist. It doesn’t just get sucked into the life of your child. And if it does? That’s not healthy for either of you.
As mothers, I think it’s the life we have outside our children that helps us be better mothers. It certainly works that way for me. That doesn’t mean it has to be a job that pays money. It might just be a trip to the supermarket with the ipod at 9:30pm at night as SoccerMum does. Love that.
I recently read an interview with Kate Langbroek – pregnant with her 4th child and someone I admire very much – where she said she firmly believes in mothers taking time for themselves. She said that there is so much giving involved in mothering that doing something for herself (for her, it’s going to the gym a few times a week) is vital if she doesn’t want to become resentful.
I relate to that. For me it’s also exercise. And writing. My column, my book, this blog, Twitters….whatever. That fills me up so I can provide the intense level of attention that children require. And do it with love. What do you do so you can keep giving?
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I have two boys and its a big job and there is no time for me but my advice to new mums is always make time to nap when your kids nap and that nap can be 20 mins - put on the alarm clock - or do the house duties go go go and then nap and wake up when the baby does but that plus get up earlier in the morning and have a cup of tea in the dark in the quiet and if someone offers help - TAKE IT - i never did any of the above and did it all alone and agree with Mia that even a trip to the shops is an outing and i go to connect with others only there are alot of angry shoppers and shop assistance out there who need a job they like and maybe i can have their job and show them what the real world is about - when you become a mum you try to get oranised and its the secret to being able to keep it together put your family and you first and some good friends that are genuine as you need to show your children how to relate to others and that is one way but always be true to yourself in whatever you say and do - you are human and there is so much you can do.
Cooking and organising things. I spend my "me time" (ie while small one is sleeping and after big ones go to bed or at school) on facebook, planning menus, cooking and getting the base ground for my business which im about to start organised. I must admit I spend more time on facebook then getting the business ideas on paper, but such is life. I have just invested in a treadmill and I just love a bit of TV in the evenings. But my best me time activity is cooking. Its the only time I dont think about anything except for what Im making. I zone out everything, even if its just cooking dinner for the noise makers I zone out. I also plan alot of family events. Not just for my little family of me + him + 4 kids but for the whole family so about 20 people. ANd I do all the food and I hold it at my house.
I am lucky that my husband, when his work hours suit, gets up with the kids in the morning and does their breakfasts andget their teeth brushed so all I have to do is put school uniforms on the beds and make lunches. I am blessed in that part especially seeing as the 3 school aged kids arent even his. Only the baby is his. The 3 older boys go to their dads everyother weekedn for 5 nights so before little one was born that was my ME time but since little one...