And then I asked a question about a toilet…..

I have been a fan of The 7pm Project before I'd even seen an episode. Having worked for a few months making a daily TV show, I know how much hard work it is. Deceptively hard. There's a lot of paddling to be done under the waterline.

If you haven't watched the show, or watched it early on and then drifted off, go back and watch it. The hosts and the format have settled in beautifully and it's a great program like nothing else on TV. And I'm not just saying that because I was on it. I was saying that before I was on it.

Anyway. So I was invited to come on the show last week to promote my book and to stick around as a 4th panellist for the show. I was excited about that. I love the panel format. With the right people, it can be such a fun thing to be part of because no one person has to do all the heavy lifting and everyone can work to their strengths.

I flew down to Melbourne at lunchtime on Wednesday and dumped my bag at the hotel, relishing the prospect of a couple of free hours to meander along Chapel Street (be still my heart) before I had to show up at the channel 10 studios for pre-show meetings etc.

I was starving hungry so I was keen to find a cafe but that's where things became complicated. I am easily intimidated – as regular readers of this website are well aware. And in Melbourne? People are more dressed up and that includes the cafes. Even the tables in Melbourne are dressed up. They all have white table cloths which in Sydney translates as "posh and expensive and formal". My Melbourne friends insist this is not at all the case but still. I am always very wary of wandering inside. And will I have to use, like, CUTLERY? See? Intimidating.

So with that back-story in mind, I will now confess that I ended up at Gloria Jeans. YES I KNOW. I was in Melbourne, home of some of Australia's finest food and coffee and I was in Gloria Jeans. GLORIA. JEANS. No disrespect inteded to the nice people at GJ's but hey, I probably could have done better for my coffee.

Anyway, I sat there chomping on some thick cut raisin toast with lashings of butter and a large soy chai and when my tummy was suitably full and my blood sugar peaking, I popped back out onto the street in my high heeled books (always have to lift my game in Melbourne – feel terribly underdressed in my Sydney Converse or Havaiannas) to do a spot of shopping. After wandering into a few very fashiony boutiques selling clothes I didn't understand, I found myself drawn into Witchery.

At Witchery, you don't have to ask the sales assistant "Um, excuse me but what is this?" before you try it on. Dress? Skirt? Turban? Hmmm?

I've become rather unhealthily obsessed with Witchery lately for reasons I don't understand. For years I've found their clothes very 'meh' but now I would very much like to make their shop my wardrobe. I want EVERYTHING.

And I keep finding myself accidentally in Witchery stores which are everywhere. In airports especially. Somehow, money doesn't count when you're in an airport. Nor do calories.

So there I was, happily ensconsed in a change-room surrounded by lovely things to try on and then my phone rings.

It's my publicist from Harper Collins.

"Mia where are you?"
"Um, I'm in……Chapel Street."

"The car is waiting for you at the hotel."

"What car?"

"The one that's taking you to your ABC radio cross to Perth at the ABC studios and you're live on air in 8 minutes."

FAAAAAAAAAAAARK.

Lovely Jane was very calm as she imparted this information and I would love to say that I dropped everything and bolted from the store but * cough * I may possibly have swung by the checkout on my way out and bought two tops and a lipgloss.

I then proceeded to run about 1km down Chapel street in high heeled boots with my bags trailing behind me, back to the waiting car and the confused driver who had been waiting for me for more than half an hour. As I sat in the back of the car, drenched in sweat, he raced across town. I tried not to chew my nails down to my knuckles and then we screamed up outside the ABC building.

Before the car had even stopped, I was out of it and raced inside and gasped to the people on the front desk "I'm Mia Freedman and I'm due on air now and I'm late and I have no idea what show I'm meant to be on." The receptionist looked at me as if I was deranged. Which naturally I was.

It turns out it was a live cross to ABC in Perth and I bolted up several flights of stairs and into the booth just in time to go on air live. Dear God I hope those Witchery tops were worth it. I think they were. Professional much?

Then it was a quick rush back to the hotel to shower and change and then bolt next door to the 7pm Project offices for a pre-show briefing and extensive hair and make-up. EXTENSIVE. There was much damage to be repaired from my tulmultuous day and 12 years of not sleeping through the night. Make-up fairies? Good luck. Sitting there in the chair, I met Carrie Bickmore – who I've always loved on tele and radio – in the make-up room and I need to tell you that SHE IS ONLY 27.

I told her I was shocked by this news and then I had to stumble to explain that I thought she was older not because she LOOKS old but because she conveys authority and experience. Gravitas.

We had a great chat as the wonderful make-up goddesses worked fairy magic on our heads. Love them. I decided an up-do might be fun which turned into a disaster because my hair kept flopping into my face. My fault. I ended up with half a can of hairspray and 74 pins holding my hair in an oh-so-natural do. Sorry hair fairies. I didn't mean to make life difficult and be bride-like.

Panel shows are always so much harder than they look. There is an enormous amount of behind-the-scenes preparation and planning and it takes a massive level of experience and professionalism for it all to work smoothly. That team is one of the happiest, most relaxed but well organised I have ever worked with.

The art of being a good guest on such a show (and it's an art I continue to work at mastering) is to add a little bit of value while mostly just getting out of the way of the proper work done by the regulars.

The other thing I've noticed about people who are great on TV is that they're exactly the same on camera as they are off camera. When you're doing live, daily TV, you just can't be fake or put on an act or a character. Carrie and Dave and Charlie are all warm and lovely and switched on. I enjoyed every minute of it. Shane Jacobsen (Kenny) was also the same on and off camera. Loved him. And I got to ask him a question about toilets which was (for me) a career highlight in all seriousness.

Here's some of the show….

In the afternoon, I had suggested a drinking game on Twitter whereby everyone at home should drink every time I gave a secret ear-touching signal. And then I promptly forgot all about it and everyone got thirsty.

The show was over in a flash and I had a gorgeous dinner with my girlfriend Amanda and then found myself back there the next day to do David & Kim where I met Genevieve who is the receptionist and is going to be a PR guru one day soon. Genevieve reads this blog every day and SHE HAS PROMISED ME SHE IS GOING TO LEAVE A COMMENT.

So go for it…..

Thanks for having me Melbourne. It was a blast.