It’s a common complaint among parents that sex sessions become few and far between after the addition of children to their lives. But what if you never wanted to have sex again?
That’s an issue facing more than one user of parenting forum Mumsnet.
When one mum opened up about her lack of sex life to see if it was “not normal” and ask others “what is wrong with me?” she was no doubt comforted to learn she and her waning sex drive were not alone.
In fact, most of the more than 200 users who responded were in agreement or at least sympathy, having experienced a similar feeling at one point in their lives.
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The mum-of-three, who posted under username DcQuinn, said she had started to feel she might have a problem after reading about women who didn’t think having sex once a week was enough for their husbands.
“I could go months without it. It doesn’t bother me anymore.”
The woman says her husband is patient, but that she feels “so bad for him”.
“I just wonder what the hell is wrong with me? We have been together for 14 years and I still fancy him loads.”
The mum, who has children aged 15 years, three years and 16 weeks, said she felt a similar level of disinterest in sex before her younger two children arrived.
The post struck a chord with users, including one user who confessed she had “no libido at all”.
“It disappeared when my son was born nearly 3 years ago. Wouldn’t be bothered if I never had sex again. I prefer sleep.”
Another with pre-teen aged children agreed that she “wouldn’t care if we never had sex again”, informing fellow commenters it’s not an issue isolated to parents of young children.
“We do have sex, around twice a month, but it’s something I have to gear myself up for and put some effort and thought into – I just can’t be bothered generally.”
Top Comments
Yes, I keep hearing this 'just do it' attitude everywhere, from this article to bl**dy Bettina Arndt, damn her and her juicy tomatoes. And yes you might enjoy it or not mind it too much, but what if you don't? It is a horrible, soul-destroying feeling having sex when you are really really not into it (despite putting up an Oscar worthy acting performance), and if you keep forcing yourself, you are in danger of developing a full-blown aversion to sex. That is way harder to claw your way back from than simply feeling indifferent or lacking in libido. Those who advocate this do it anyway approach need to consider that this is a very real, damaging flip side to what might seem like a harmless bit of capitulation.
I was pleased to read this article, as I too, would not be bothered if I do not have sex again. With young children, working full-time and a husband who snores like a chainsaw, I don't really want to sleep in the same bed as my husband anymore. We haven't had sex for a long time - I think about it often and feel that I should at least 'give it a go', but the lure of sleep is more enticing.
Do you have the option of sleeping in seperate rooms? I know lots of couples who find sleeping in the same bed terrible as they can't get quality sleep. I certainly know I'm much more interested in sex when I'm not exhausted.