There has never been more pressure on women to be everything. At work, at home, on social media, in the mirror. And always, always in our own heads where the pressure feels at times unbearable.
If you’re single, you’re constantly asked why. If you don’t have kids, people want to know what’s wrong with you; are you infertile or are you just a child-hating shrew? What about donor eggs, have you considered it? If you take time out of your career to have a baby, everyone wants to know when you’ll be back. If you return to work in less than six months, people wonder, ‘But how can you leave the baby?’.
If you stay away for longer, people ask, ‘But what about your career?’. And any time you win a promotion, grab an opportunity for more responsibility or take a new job, people express concern about how you’ll find work-life balance.
Then there’s the incessant pressure to be thin and beautiful and young even when you’re pregnant or a new mum or sick or depressed or hungover or old or have cancer or cystitis or are caring for your elderly father or you just woke up with the flu. Be hot 24/7 and document your hotness regularly via multiple social media platforms and associated hashtags or #fail. Don’t be thirsty. Remember to be blessed. How many followers you got? Don’t retweet praise but if you do, remember to have #gratitude.
As we silently internalise all this societal pressure to be and do everything, it constricts and tortures us in a way that’s uniquely female. Men do not do this. They don’t. They divert precious little mental energy to questioning whether they’re being a bloke in exactly the way society deems correct at this particular moment. Men are rarely judged by society or by each other and especially not by themselves.
Not like we are, not like we do. They just bloody get on with it. How good does that sound?
Top Comments
Totally lost me when this cut into men and "just getting on with it" and not being a female, its only and outsiders perspective on all this.
To assume men don't have these same pressure is BS and just plain ignorant. I work in an extremely male dominated industry with many of the strongest personalities on the planet. I can assure you all that many males in this industry expend much wasted energy questioning if they are being a man how they are expected to be...and if not what will be the social and professional consequences.
The tole this takes on these men is massive...sometimes the ultimate toll with many of societies antiquated expectations still a heavy weight to bare.
That's all.
Love the overall message in this extract but i disagree with the fact that men dont feel pressure to attain perfection like us women...they are viewed as less manly (or are questioned about their sexuality) if they dont have muscles, aren't in a powerful or labour based position in their job, dont like sports, cant fix a car or do handy jobs around the house....there is an image of a 'man' and men are pressured by society to fit these expectations also. Feeling the pressure for perfection is not solely a womans burden.
I am a woman by the way so this is not one of those "what about me" comments. I just think it is unwise to stereotype this issue as a women's issue only because in reality its just not
There are definite stereotypes that men are expected to live up to such as the handyman. I copped a lot of abuse recently for my poor ceiling painting effort! But women cop it more and their decisions are questioned constantly.