by GENEVIEVE LISTON
‘Weatherman Syndrome’ is almost as prevalent as the common cold.
It is the technical term for the curse of the ‘almost good enough’ guy.
I first became aware of this disturbing phenomenon late last year when I was going through one of my self-induced man droughts.
I had decided after dating a series of boys and finding myself discontent with all of them, that I was going to give up for a while. So I took myself out of the game and went on hiatus from men.
One day, over a couple of ciders with a girlfriend, I let slip that I had been going out for breakfast and coffee with my personal trainer. I told her that he was kinda a nice guy and even though he wasn’t really my type, he was kinda cute… so I was thinking about maybe going for dinner with him.
She looked back at me with genuine concern.
“Gen, I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” she said. “But you have what is known as ‘Weatherman Syndrome’. But don’t worry – it’s entirely normal for someone in your situation.”
My situation? What was she on about? And how did she happen upon this diagnosis and what were my symptoms? And if it was so common, how had I never heard of it? Well, apparently it was the overuse of the word ‘kinda’ that led to my diagnosis.
“He’s KINDA funny.”
“He’s KINDA cute.”
And had things progressed, it might have been “Hmmm yeah I guess it’s KINDA a problem that he’s spiking my morning cereal with protein powder…”
She then went onto explain that one lonely night after spending months alone she found herself attracted to none other than the Weatherman. She had watched this same nightly news for years, how could she have possibly missed this? How could she have not noticed how attractive this slightly balding middle-aged man was?! And how totally CUTE that belly he had was!
She turned to her housemate and said, “Is it just me, or is that Weatherman really really sexy?”
At which point her housemate turned off the TV and demanded her undivided attention.
“NO! He is not at all sexy. And neither was the guy you were with last week. And while I’m being honest, I might as well tell you the guy you are going on a date with tomorrow night is the most boring person I have ever met. NONE of these guys are for you.”
And thus, the term ‘Weatherman Syndrome’ was coined.
There are two telltale signs: overuse of the word ‘kinda’ and the phrase ‘is it just me..’ If you find yourself using either of these then the chances are you have a bad case of Weatherman Syndrome.
Because that’s what happens. If you leave yourself out of the game for long enough, all of your so-called ‘deal breakers’ go out the window and it’s almost as if you start looking at potential mates like they are some kind of lunar eclipse. You avert your eyes from seeing what is right in front of you and almost squint in their direction. All of a sudden lame jokes become funny, irritating opinions become cute, the fact they are 35 years old and still live with their parents is totally endearing, right?
And then you find yourself actively living out that line from Missy Higgins‘ song Scar – “A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle’ — you try to cut them so they’ll fit…
Very dangerous behaviour.
So the next time you feel those seemingly harmless words sneaking back into your vocabulary: check yourself. And think twice about if this is really what you want.
Because if not picked up during the early stages, Weatherman Syndrome can get really, really ugly. Trust me. I know.
Genevieve Liston is a twenty something Melbourne based producer. You can find her on Twitter here.
Have you ever dated someone who was only ‘kinda’ right for you? Have you ever had to tell a friend that she was being willfully blind to her partner’s faults? How did it pan out?