Welcome to Group Therapy where you get to exchange wisdom with others in the Mamamia community.
Today's question is about solitude….
Angela writes……
My
husband is leaving for the army in two months, it is going to be hard
to be an army wife. How would you suggest I deal with the loneliness of
being by myself for long periods of time? We don't have children yet
and I work very very very long hours but I would like to know how you
would suggest I relearn how to be by myself?
Thanks.
How do you talk to a child about the most difficult subject of all?
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The Quicky
Top Comments
Wow Laura... I'm gobsmacked.... And speechless. Thankyou.
My husband is in the army also - but he's a reservist, so not an on going thing for me. But he went to Afghanistan for 4 months earlier this year.
It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I had no idea how lost I would feel without him. I don't mean to sound very negative - just that you can't expect it to be easy. Saying that, somethings did improve, and there were things that helped me along the way also.
- all your communication becomes pretty special, it was the first time I had ever received letters from him. He wrote all sorts of things that he never tells me really.
- I wrote a journal, I found it very therapeutic at the time. My husband still hasn't read it- but I think he will at some point.
- Put some things into your calendar, like a holiday, or a course. I went away for 3 weeks in the middle, was great to have a change of scene and not be 'alone' in the bed
- Be selfish in the way that your annoying ex boyfriends were! book in a massage and a facial, whatever floats your boat
- fitness was my absolute godsend. at times I found sleeping hard, but I starting going to the gym + doing yoga 5 days a week. Resting at the weekend. Definitely improved my wellbeing and sleep!
- get someone to move into your place if you're feeling really lonely. I asked my sister to keep me company and we have been really close since (it did help that she had to move some way and has stayed here)
- Go to the wives sessions, especially the ones not run by the army. There are a few girls who I still see a bit of, and it makes all those army functions much more fun too (there will be MANY!)
good luck with it all. Just remember you're not alone. and if you still feel that way after a few weeks make sure you tell someone.