The number of STD cases are on the rise in Australia. That’s the finding from a new report, which was released today.
The annual report into sexually transmitted diseases (also referred to as sexually transmitted infections or STIs) revealed an 8 per cent rise in the number of HIV cases in 2011 and an increase of 50 per cent in the last decade.
The report also shows diseases like chlamydia and gonorrhea are becoming more common.
by MATYLDA BUCZKO
Chlamydia. Herpes. Genital warts. Gonorrhoea. How do those words make you feel? Queasy? Embarrassed? Cringe worthy? All of the above?
Despite these STIs being extremely common and as old as sex itself, the stigma that surrounds sexually transmitted infections would suggest we are still living in the dark ages. Do we imagine that if we confess to having had one – or more- of these infections we will be rounded up, publicly shamed, then burned at the stake?
Many STIs exhibit little to no symptoms, so the ease with which they can be transferred to others, unknowingly and unwittingly, is understandable, unsurprising and one might even say, forgivable.
And just because we could think of no other way to illustrate this story…. Introducing STI cupcakes. As you do. (Warning the rest of this gallery of bizarre cakes is NSFW)

Look! STI cupackes. As you do....
I have deliberated about writing the next few lines as they contain this admission: my ex-boyfriend once gave me Chlamydia. When he told me, I was far from understanding or forgiving and it was certainly far from expected. In fact, he was my first sexual partner, so the reminder that he had slept with someone else previously, who had passed it to him, who then passed it to me, made me feel disgusted. Dirty. Cheated on. I felt I had in some way been sexually connected to some unclean, promiscuous, diseased female against my will. I felt my “purity” had been stripped and my introduction to the world of sex been tainted far too early. My first partner and I already had one of those things?
Many years on, it is my reaction to that incident that should make me feel embarrassed of myself. I was guilty of not only overreacting to the social stigma of STIs, but also perpetuating it by my inability to deal with this single, common incident without cloaking it in shame.
Of course, it is never pleasant news to hear that you have tested positive for an STI, particularly when it is from someone you care about. It can feel like a violation and it can be a confronting reality to think about your partner with someone else. But I should consider myself lucky – I had a partner who informed me immediately when he found out and Chlamydia is easily treatable. One visit to the doctor, a few tablets with water and boom, clean as a whistle. I had felt such relief and vowed to never share the experience with anyone. Had I ever thought to bring this up with close friends I’m sure I would have been bombarded with expressions of empathy –Don’t worry! I’ve been there too! Instead, I felt like I had to bury a dirty secret.
Statistically speaking, it is difficult to find concrete numbers of STI rates worldwide. No central organisation collects data on STIs due to the difficulty in obtaining accurate records. This year, the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention estimates 19 million new cases of STDs reported annually in the USA alone.
These figures prove that STIs are just as common as a cold, migraine or hayfever. Similarly, they do not distinguish between race, religion, culture or ethnicity. Yet ignorant, spiteful connections are too often made between STIs and specific groups of people. STIs can be transmitted through just one sexual encounter or partner, yet despite that, there still exists an archaic connection between STIs and promiscuity in women. It all harks back to the paranoid propaganda posters of the 50s, where sexually active women were portrayed as disease ridden nymphettes and men better stay clear!
The social and global consequences of maintaining these stigmas are far more harmful than just creating feelings of shame and embarrassment. Consider the fact that most STI’s are contracted by people aged 15-30 years old. Stigmas surrounding STIs mean that adolescents and young adults are often too embarrassed to seek treatment, or uninformed as to how to do so. This leads to risks of sterility, infertility, cancer, damage to infants during gestation and other complications.
Furthermore, if diagnosed, a failure to discuss STIs with sexual partners can result in a dangerous two pronged road. The first, is failing to contact previous sexual partners to find the initial source of infection and ensure all other cases be found and treated. The second is allowing the STI to continue to be spread.
We cannot compare the symptoms and consequences of common STIs to the more destructive nature of the HIV and AIDS viruses, but the ability they have to spread globally at a rate unstoppable and unmanageable by health authorities is equally alarming. Why have we made it so hard to say, “Yes, I am one of the millions who have had an STI”, and why is it so hard for those who judge to realise they will most likely have the same experience?
Have you ever had an STI, or do you know someone who has? What’s been your experience with stigma from the community?






Comments
27 Comments so far
It is stories like this that reassure me that the Biblical instruction “thou shalt not commit adultery” is definitely the one to follow.
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How timely – last week, my ex called me and said he had chlamydia, and i should get tested. It’s really – as the article illustrates – no drama. I didn’t tell anyone but my doctor; not because i’m embarrasssed, but because he asked me not to. I’m not particularly humiliated, i feel like i had a cold or something and now it’s gone. lucky me!
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I contracted genital warts from an ex boyfriend. Since people can be carriers without ever having a wart it’s hard to judge him. Luckily when the warts appear they can be treated with a cream and over time the wart virus should go out of the body. I felt disgusting but if the wart was on your hands of feet no one would care so now I accept that’s its just like having any other wart.
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I have really appreciated reading this and reading other peoples experiences because I am also a herpes carrier and feel enormous shame about it. I do see it as a ‘death sentence’ and am really struggling to see any point in trying to meet new people because I fee like if I got serious with anyone they would reject me and make me feel even worse. Whilst my partner never told me, nor supported me when I told him I had it, I had seen the signs and ignored them. Living with the consequences of my ignorance is hard and the guilt I already feel at having to give someone who cares about me the choice as to to whether or not potentially contract the disease is hard for me to deal with. It has been nice to read stories about people who have met new people and they have accepted them despite it.
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It will not kill you so it is not a death sentence. I have buried people to AIDS, that is a life sentence. Seriously have a look at the herpes.org.nz. Page it will really help trust me I know, the guy I caught if from was supportive and all that but it was e nurse at the sexual health centre and that website that got me over the worst of it. Learn to forgive yourself and know that any man/ woman with a heart will understand that sometimes these things happen if you have sex. Hope you feel better soon.
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To catch a STD, you have to be having sex……..lucky you
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I caught Gonerreah from a guy going down on me. I used a condom for sex AND for giving him head (because I’m so paranoid about STDs and STIs), but I still got one! Apparently people carry certain STIs in their throat too so can pass it with oral sex. So basically wear a body-sized condom if you’re going to have any kind of sex with anyone ever!!
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Two Words – Dental Dam
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Out of respect for partner I am anon for this. He had never had a cold sore and yet he was a carrier (there is no test if you have never had an outbreak of either HSV1 orHSV2 a huge amount of the population are carriers. No one assumes of you have cold sores you are a whore and it is the same virus. I contracted HSV1 from a man who gets tested every twelve months, he didn’t know he had it and the guilt he felt for giving it to me on my genitals was massive. If you do get any STI’s do yourself a favour talk to the sexual health clinic in your city they kn ow more than your average doctor. Also if you have heroes read the herpes.org.nz. Informative not judgey and it reminds you that is not a death sentence. Plus you keep chicken pox in your body the same way and can have outbreaks the same way just saying. All the people out there who have it and are making comments about themselves just stop, you are how we change the way people see this issue. Imagine if your friends admitted to their herpes to your face, it would make it easier to admit it yourself and live with it to huh?
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I caught an STI from oral sex with my then boyfriend. He was drunk and didn’t feel his cold sore coming on. I’ve lived with the burning shame for 23 years. It doesn’t get easier with time. Thank god my hubby was/is understanding.
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I have just recently had an oral papilloma cut of my tongue, whch has been since diagnosed as HPV – Human Papilloma Virus or herpes. I was terribly upset when I found out, as am married now with a son and pregnant with my second. I felt like a giant slut. I am still embarrased about the diagnosis. Does it mean I got it from giving oral sex to a partner? My husbands response was one of “will I get it”? Understandable, but what if I actually got it from him? Neither one of us were virgins when we married – I am in my late 30s and he is in his 40s. I do very much feel there is a stigma about it. Apparently it is very common as mentioned in the article – doesn’t help me feel better about it – athough at least I’m lucky it’s not on my genitals.
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I’m confused … HPV .. isn’t that something to do with cervical cancer? So HPV is herpes? Wasn’t that what we were vaccinated against a few years ago in relation to cancer? Sorry but this has confused me a lot!
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Herpes is not HPV it is HSV1 or HSV2
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HPV and Herpes are two different things. There are two types of herpes you can get, Type 1 or Type 2. Basically you can get genital herpes from genital to genital contact or you can have herpes which appear as cold sores about the mouth but which can also be transmitted to the genitals via oral sex. They are slightly different viruses and supposedly if you contract genital herpes through oral sex then it can be a less severe form with less outbreaks.
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This is one of the benefits of marrying someone else who happens to be a virgin (we met very young!)
Such a shame that such stigma prevents people seeking much needed treatment. More awareness needed.
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I have genital herpes which I contracted from a man who didn’t tell me he had it. If he had, perhaps I could have been more careful about protecting myself. I now have to take medication every day for the rest of my life otherwise I have a recurrence. I’m lucky that I met a wonderful man who loves me and didn’t think any less of me when I told him…an opportunity I wish that man had allowed me. But like No Name I have only told my partner and my mother as I’m afraid of the reaction of others.
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May I ask what medication you take daily? I have herpes too, and though I get an outbreak just once a year, I’m curious if there’s something I can take daily that’s safe, as I’m paranoid about my partner catching it from me. Thanks.
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Hi anon, I take Valtrex (also known as Zelitrex). Best to chat to your Dr about it as it requires an authorisation or it is quite costly.
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You can get an antiviral that you take daily to supress breakouts. Your doctor will be able to tell you more
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Good post on an important topic but I have to question your decision to include a picture of a blue waffle. It is my understanding that this is NOT a real STD and is based on an Internet meme involving a digitally altered photo of female genitals. If you want to put an end to the stigma and misinformation that surrounds STDs maybe start by removing that photo.
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One does not simply
Move on from a mention of the mysterious ‘blue waffle’ without googling.
But do I regret it? Oh god, yes.
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Arrgh! I googled it too. Oh my eyes, my eyes! DON’T do it people! Trust me.
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I dumped a guy after he casually mentioned that he had herpes. His reason for not telling me earlier was: “If you tell anyone you’ll never get laid” I dumped him on the spot, fortunately he didn’t infect me.
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my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and gave me chlamydia. i felt completely and utterly betrayed and never spoke to him again when he told me.
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I have herpes which I got from my first boyfriend thanks to oral sex whilst he had cold sore symptoms. I was absolutely clueless that you could even get herpes this way at the time. I don’t know why I felt ashamed since I was over 20 and we were both our first sexual partners…but ashamed I certainly was.
To this day, apart from doctors, only he, my next sexual partner (my now husband) and my very best friend know. There certainly is a stigma and it’s awful. I barely think of it now since I’ve only ever had about four outbreaks in over 10 years and it was never an issue for my husband (though that was a pretty uncomfortable conversation when I first told him).
This blanket perception that anyone who has an STI is promiscuous or ‘dirty diseased’ is just wrong but I really don’t see the general opinion changing anytime soon.
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I too had a similar experience contracting herpes from a boyfriend in my 20s. Ditto on the uncomfortable conversation with my now husband and we are now both carriers, though I suffer less from outbreaks than he does. Still angry at that useless twad who gave it to me, who apparently didn’t know he had it until my symptoms sent him off for check-up too. Then it was somehow my role to console HIM. I was mortified, and felt utterly ashamed.
The thing is, you can never have a casual, free and easy sexual encounter again, because you have to have that conversation first and only someone who really cares for you will see past it and love you anyway. Anyway, life goes on. And my husband lives with the consequences of that one time I didn’t use protection.
So lets talk about men’s role in the transmission – what’s with guys who try to cajole you into doing it ‘without a raincoat’ because it feels better? I say, use your hand. Wish I’d said it when it mattered.
There was no way I was going to recommend this article on facebook, as much as I am gald you wrote it – that’s like announcing to the world I have an STI, so yeah, the stigma is real.
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That is a real shame, to feel you cannot recommend this article to your Facebook friends, as I believe this is a great way to share the knowledge and hopefully this article could be used as conversation starter/ education for younger adolescents/adults with their friends or parents. I know I will be passing this onto friends of mine who are parents of teens/ and young adults.
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