“I tell her to take the dog with her. That way, she’s got a reason to come home.”
My brother’s words were an indication of his helplessness as a parent. His fourteen year old daughter, my niece, had been diagnosed with clinical depression.
It was easy enough to look into the probable causes. There was the marriage break-up, the trials and tribulations of puberty, a genetic disposition toward depression and the struggle to find one’s place in the maelstrom of peer pressure and personalities that make up school and domestic life. What was not easy was finding a solution. My niece not only took the family dog with her whenever and wherever she walked. She also took the ‘black dog’ with her whose jaws and teeth had a vice like grip on her thoughts like a malicious pit-bull.
The reality is that the incidence of adolescent depression is increasing. Research indicates that the average on-set age of depression in 1960 was thirty years or older. Today it is fifteen years or younger. The irony is that we live in an age that is far more affluent than fifty years ago. We are healthier, better educated and benefit from the advances in attitudes toward gender and race. The prevalence of depression, therefore, has people stumped.
My neighbours suggested by way of explanation that children are over-protected and are not prepared for the shock of life’s realities. This conversation took place just before they walked their children to the local primary school.
My sister suggested that it was all the violence and chaos that children were exposed to on television that was the disturbing element. But her children have viewed what she had viewed and they seemed to be fine.
We have chemical anodynes as a form of remedy. SSRIs or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors provide a regulated dose of serotonin to the receptors in the brain. It can help restore the chemical balance. Our bodies are an upheaval of chemicals; endorphins, adrenaline, testosterone, progesterone. Imagine what an adolescent body is like as it goes through puberty. The dose needs to be constantly regulated.
A multi-disciplinary approach, however, is advocated today. Psychologists suggest a combination of medication and cognitive behavioural therapy. Having the individual talk about the problem seems like such a simple way to start. My niece, however, struggled to find someone she could relate to. The GP my brother took her to was too old. The child psychologist they saw wanted her to write notes about her feelings and place them in a postal box of thoughts. This just seemed a little too twee for my niece.
The school psychologist had my niece keep a journal. Writing about experiences can be a means of gaining perspective and placing events in sequence. Instead of being a victim to whatever life throws at you, an element of distance is achieved. The writer asserts a little more control and shapes those moments from the past which are troubling.
Having someone who is able to hear is also essential. My niece hadn’t told anyone as the black dog approached. She knew something was wrong but didn’t have the words to express it. Most medical complaints are obvious. People ask how you broke your arm when they see the cast and want to autograph the plaster. The complaint becomes part of the social interaction. “I didn’t know if people would think I was mad,” was my niece’s comment when she finally did open up about what was troubling her.
My niece still walks the dog; both of them. There is the family pet that is a lot healthier than it used to be. And there’s the black dog. It’s on a leash and muzzled. The medication, the talking, the writing and the listening have all been part of her ability to take control. She can see the approaching signs and knows how to recognize them. She has people around her who can listen and, as she says, “I can talk about it now.”
David is a teacher, actor and writer. He headed several English departments, the most unusual of which was in an Indonesian school, and he once chaired the Heads of English in Independent Schools in Victoria.
Here is a checklist where you can gauge yourself from Low to High with low meaning your rarely exhibit this symptom. The list has been derived from *Psychology: VCE Units 3 & 4 *Oxford University Press. Melbourne. Edwards, R.A.M., Blaher-Lucas, E. Moore, V., Marangio, K. & Ganino-Day, F. (2010) which is one of the texts currently being used in the VCE Psychology course.
It is worth noting that we all exhibit some of these traits at times. It is when we have multiple symptoms being exhibited continually that a concern emerges. It would be worth confiding in someone at such a time. Notice also that the symptoms fall into a range of categories – emotional, behavioural, cognitive and physical. A high recording in the ‘physical’ category could be indicative of a medical complaint. In other words, don’t jump to conclusions. Always seek advice.
| SYMPTOM | Low | Medium | High |
| Emotional | |||
| Feeling sad or dejected | |||
| Loss of sense of humour | |||
| Anxiety | |||
| Anger | |||
| Motivational | |||
| Lack of interest | |||
| Lack of motivation or initiative | |||
| Behavioural | |||
| Less active and productive | |||
| Moving & speaking slowly | |||
| Time wasting | |||
| Cognitive | |||
| Self blame | |||
| Suicidal thoughts | |||
| Difficulty concentrating | |||
| Confusion | |||
| Physical | |||
| Headaches | |||
| Constipation | |||
| Indigestion |
Telling the difference between depression and being unhappy requires self reflection. Try and suggest reasons for a ‘high’ or a ‘low’ reading. It is perfectly normal to feel disappointed and sad when experiencing a loss. In fact, it’s healthy. And when things unfold around you with which you are not satisfied, are you able to rationalize rather than get angry.
Always remember, talk to someone or find out more. Here are some web sites that may be useful.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001518.htm







Comments
59 Comments so far
Ella,
You are so brave. Thank you. I wish my old friend (died weeks after her 21st birthday) could have come through and reached the point where you are now. Your insights have now helped me understand and accept a little more what things must have been like for her, 6.5 years after the fact, in a way that no-one else has been able to.
Willaway, and Flowers in the Spring, thank you for your very good advice. Adolescence can be such an isolating experience even for the most healthy, socially connected teen. I completely agree that we need to be doing a lot more as a community to skill our children for resilience and positive neural pathways from as early on as we can.
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okay this makes me angry, yes im a teenager and all my friends say i need to go to a guidence councler but that is not going to happen, im telling you, if a teenager girl dosnt speak to u about wats wronge, then just drop the subject, if she tells the wronge person she gets alot more apset, dont ever tell her to write all her probs in a book, last time someone told me to do that i was crying when i was writing, and all the cr@p about medication NOOOOO that is not the right thing to do, my freind has depression as big as mine, she is on medication, she wants to commit suicide, me, im not on meds, my probs r in my head, havnt told a soul my probs and im doin fine
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Hi Tegan,
From some of your comments it sounds like it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone in your life, not just people online. All of the ladies on here have been teenage girls and know what they are talking about. It is very important that if you have a friend who is considering suicide that you tell an adult. You could be key in saving your friends life. It is also important that you don’t tell people, your friends or peers that medication and counseling are bad. You need to be a Dr or a psychologist to make those decisions. Do you have a teacher, an older friend or maybe a friend’s mum you could have a chat with? I am a teacher of girls your age and can assure you we are always ready to listen. It seems like you are on he because you are looking for guidance and that’s fine, but do see if there is someone who knows you who you can talk about this stuff with.
All the best!
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im not depressed, okay, im sorry for the comment i was in the middle in the dream and my brother woke me up, u know how that feels, right? well, its hard to explain, im not depressed,i, i have a crush, okay, i like this guy and i have liked him for a while, and everyone says theres something wrong, see when i have a crush i go silent bc i dont stop thinkin bout him. plus i would rather share my feelings online then in the open, like facebook.
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Yeah I agree it’s easier to share stuff here than on F.B.
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I had clinical depression from 13–17 and I thought I had beat it, but these last few weeks I feel the same pain and sadness poking its head out again and I’m scared.
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I developed an eating disorder at age 12. I can trace clinical depression back to age 14, episodes of what could be depression even as a child. I’m on my 4th or 5th medication & finally found one that has worked that I credit with saving my life.
18 months ago I reached such a point of despair that I tried to end my life. I no longer feel like that. I live in fear that one day I will again reach such an intense depth of despair.
It breaks my heart that I hear so many other young people struggle with this horrible illness & either feel they can’t reach out or don’t have the words. Sometimes people chose not to hear.
The most important things you can do to help your teenager through depression;
- Listen without judging
- Seek professional help
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions and use very direct language (not euphamisms like “do you feel like offing yourself” but “are you going to kill yourself, are you going to cut/overdose, etc”.)
- If a young person says they are suicidal, don’t leave them – remove everything they could harm themselves with & seek urgent help. Don’t be ashamed or afraid of taking them to the emergency department or calling CAHMS/Crisis teams. Take every threat seriously.
- Tell them you love them. Depression makes us feel so unlovable, so unworthy that that constant reinforcement is so, so, so important.
Thank you for sharing David.
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My youngest daughter was diagnosed with dysthymia, only after she took a whole heap of pills and ended up in hospital. I, as a parent have never felt more useless or terrified than I did at that moment when she came in and said “mum, I think I’ve done something stupid”. The watching her while waiting for the ambulance to arrive, was one of the scariest things ever. What if she collapsed or stopped breathing before it got here.
Afterwards she was scared that I would hate her, and my heart was breaking, this was my baby girl, and she felt so bad that suicide seemed to be a viable option. AND I DIDNT SEE IT!!
I have never forgiven myself for not seeing it in her, ever, and even now that she is better, it is one of my great failings as a mum, my baby girl was hurting so badly and I missed it.
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I did a similar thing 18 months ago. I did stop breathing & ended up in intensive care unit. When I came to, I ran away from the hospital & did it again – ending up back in ICU. I got through that time. Things go up & down, but I don’t want to die anymore. It took a good 12 months to truly believe that.
My parents didn’t see it coming. A few friends saw a bad time coming; they didn’t expect they’d come so close to losing their friend twice. My psychiatrist didn’t see it coming, my GP didn’t see it coming, my psychologist didn’t see it coming. I saw it coming but was too unwell to be able to ask for help.
You need to forgive yourself. What happened was not your fault. It is almost impossible to see. There might be signs; but when you’re in the thick of it, you don’t have the foresight to see what could happen.
Your daughter is ok. It’s ok to forgive you too. x
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There can never be one answer to the question of why in increasing depression across the spectrum. Perhaps it has a root in the lack of meaning, purpose and ability to rely on self that has something to do with it. We are occupied in what we have to do, imposed by society rather than life, and meeting our most basic physical needs when they arise. Once, life was a matter of getting on with living, i.e. literally living/life. Perhaps, one day, in time, we will adjust to not having to survive and become able to find/adapt to a new way of life that has never existed before. Unless, of course, we end up back in literal surviving, due to war, climate change, food reduction, incurable illnesses, etc. There is far less depression in regions where the ‘art’ of living is far more basic as it has been throughout the ages in which we evolved. Not, necessarily or specifically, literal hanging on by a slim thread to survive as either an individual or a group, but where life requires a literal daily focus regardless of age group.
That, and the fact the we evolved to move, all day, then sleep, all night.
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It’s so sad to read how many teenagers are suffering from depression and anxiety. I suffered from anxiety for many years – never bad enough for an episode or to really ask for help but a constant feeling that something wasn’t quite right. By not dealing with it, it got worse and worse until I couldn’t hide it anymore. What helped for me was diet and exercise. I gave up wheat, dairy, sugar, caffeine and alcohol. And went to the gym 3/4 times a week. I couldn’t believe that people actually felt the way it made me feel. It’s hard to follow so now I do it maybe 90% of the time and I get by.
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What a wonderful article David – depression is treatable and your niece offers us a fine example of how to manage it with professional help and self-help strategies. Sometimes, parents of teenagers don’t know what to say or do when a teenager might be developing a mental health problem. The University of Melbourne is offering a FREE 2-day training course to parents who have a teenager aged between 12-15 years. As it is part of a research study, parents will be randomly placed into either a Youth Mental Health First Aid course or a Red Cross First Aid course. The project is titled First Aid Training for Parents of Teenagers – a Randomized Controlled Trial (to register, go to http://www.tpot.net.au). The Youth Mental Health First Aid course teaches adults who care for or work with teenagers, the skills needed to recognize the early signs of mental illness, identify potential mental health-related crises, and assist teenagers to get the help they need as early as possible. The project has received ethics approval (ID: 1135679) and is funded by a National Health and Medical Research Council Australia Fellowship. Parents can browse dates of the free training courses on the trial website.
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i’ve been depressed and anxious for as long as i can remember. which for me is from around 3-4 years old. i have older memories which are not as accurate.
i’ve always known there was something wrong with me. i have been hospitalized. medicated. i have been in psych ward. ive been so heavily medicated since i was 15 that after i went of the medication at 19 i had no idea how to live without it. i couldnt moderate my emotions. i couldnt understand my own body. i do not have words for things that most people learn in those years that i do not. at 16 i was evaluated and found to be “socially and emotionally retarded” my mental disorder had in a way disabled me. and yet after seeing numerous doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists for 6 years no one could tell me what was wrong with me. i was given pills and suggestions but no diagnosis.
3 months ago i saw someone new. after just 20 minutes of carefull listening. he gave me a firm diagnosis. (emotionally unstable personality disorder {formally called borderline personality disorder}) for the first time in six years someone respected me enough to actually LISTEN when i spoke he heard me. he believed me.
the weight that came off my shoulders with the diagnosis was incredible. just finally knowing what was wrong with me helped. he told me there is really only one medication that he wanted me to take. i need very specialised behavioural therapy. and im getting better.
it angers me that for six years people looked at my age and wouldnt listen. people who judged that i couldnt understand what was going on.
some days i get stuck with the what if’s. what if they had listened. would i have so many scars. would i have a better relationship with my husband. with my daughter. i have been in 8 abusive relationships. i have been sexually abused over 40 times. not including the big R word.
someone needs to stop and listen. these kids understand more then we give them credit for. if i could have one thing i would have the assurance that my daughter will not look back with my kind of what if’s.
i wish people could listen. so no one would have to.
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What timing for this article.
I read this on Friday afternoon and got the call late Saturday morning to say a friend had killed himself by lying in the middle of the highway at night and was hit by a car.
Ok so it wasn’t exactly teen depression but I think 23 year old depression is close enough, and as equally stimatised.
My friend did not often talk in detail about what was troubling him and confided in only a few close friends, So I will probably never fully understand the feelings he had with him as he took the last act of desperation and hopelessness but I don’t need to understand it.
I’ve been trying to think what would have made a difference what could we have changed but the truth of this particular situation was that in reality there was nothing we could do to unlock the hold of dpression from my friends heart and mind.
I am sure that he is at peace now and I hope that myself and friends can find the same from this tragedy.
I hope that in the future I will ask more often “are you ok?” and “what can I do?” and maybe just maybe I might be able to stop someone I love from slipping this deep again.
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I wish I had been diagnosed with depression at 13. I was diagnosed at 20, but I believe I have experienced episodes of clinical depression from age 13. As scary as it is that the average onset of depression is getting younger and younger – at least there is more awareness of mental illness among teenagers so that they can access the help they need. I’m doing so much better now and I no longer feel depressed or live in fear of falling into another episode of depression. I know now that if I do become depressed again I have the experience to know that I need help and to recognise what kind of help has worked for me in the past. My only regret is that it took so long to be able to get help in the first place. Early intervention is really the key.
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At 13, adolescents do not have the language needed to describe depression nor are they truly aware of what it is and who they can talk to about it. That is why an open discussion is needed. Depression is a part of the emotional repertoire that we gain, experience and express. As with a lot of emotions it manifests itself in extremes before we can get a handle on it. The positive aspect is that it is natural and we have strategies, clinical and practical, that can help. But talking and reading about it is a way to start.
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Don’t forget http://www.headspace.org.au and to find a counsellor who works specifically with young people visit or call your local headspace. You can also go to http://www.psychology.org.au on the right of the page there is a button “find a psychologist” you can do a search including the diagnosis and the age of the client. Getting a good connection with your counsellor is vital.
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I suffered from depression when I was 13-15 and sometimes I still end up on a somewhat downward spiral. Music was one thing that really helped me when I was going through this- still if I’m having a horrible day I’ll listen my favourite song by The Used and start feeling better again. I guess it just reminds me that if I got through what I did back then then I can handle whatever it is that is getting me down
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I work with teenagers and the rate of depression and anxiety is alarming. The reality for many of these teens is that help is difficult to receive. School counsellors who engage in talk therapy are near non-existent, and there are serious problems with accessing facilities such as Headspace because they are over subscribed and under-resourced. The current waiting time for an online counselling session with kidshelpline is 160 minutes. Add to this the fact that a person with anxiety or depression feels helpless already, and there’s a recipe for disaster.
To parents I’d like to offer some advice which, whilst not perfect it can certainly help.
Get your kid off the computer/smartphone/gaming device. Studies show a correlation between a high volume of time on these and a higher level of risk of mental illness.
Eat dinner together a few nights a week. At a table. With the tv turned off. Talk while you’re there. Play “what nice thing did you see happen today.”not only are you modeling social skills but you’re also forcing them to engage with you, and focus on something positive. It’s really easy when the news is full of horrible things to focus on the negative and you actually need to seek the positive.
Give your kids some homework. They need to write a list of 10 things that make them happy. And then each day they have to report that they’ve done some of it.
None of these are bullet proof, and they certainly won’t cure clinical depression, but they do contribute towards better mental health. Just as we train our kids to eat their veggies because we know they do them good there’s stuff we can do as parents from a really early age to help promote positive mental health in our kids.
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I’m 17 and I suffer from depression.
It’s difficult even writing these words, but saying them is so much harder. These are words that I still can’t express to the majority of my friends, my teachers or my peers. The irony is, while I was struggling to come to terms with what I was going through, my best friend came out and told me that she had recently been diagnosed with depression. Guess it’s more common than you think.
I’m a regular reader of Mamamia, and what makes things easier is reading articles like this one, so thank you.
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Well done for posting here, Gatsey. Are you getting help?
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Hi gatesy. I suffered from depression in my late teens, too. I found it pretty hard to find anyone who offered help that made a difference. I hope you have. The biggest thing is to keep trying, if you haven’t yet found the right help. For most people, medication alone just isn’t enough. And if your GP expects you to just get better because you’ve had some medication, find another GP!
If you don’t find good enough help, just keep going anyway, because it does get better. The dread lifts and you do feel so much better, there’s light in things, you find the better parts of yourself. And move. Walk, do some exercise, even if you feel really heavy. It helps. And so does eating good food, even if you’re not interested.
Something that psychologists have been finding really helpful for lots of younger people with depression is “mindfulness” therapy. You might be able to find someone to help you do it. Or if you look it up on the web, you might find something good. There’s a good program at the University of Melbourne and stuff on the Psychology Department website there. Plus, academics don’t mind if you contact them. So be bold and just email whoever the mindfulness person is, and they will get back to you with some contacts or ideas.
Mindfulness is basically, acknowledging what you’re feeling without judging the feeling or judging yourself. It’s there. It is what it is. Experience it, acknowledge it and keep going. It’s a way of stopping the spiral of negative thoughts that can flow from feeling down. Also, if bad sleeping is part of your problem, you can do things that will help with that, and that might flow on to the depression. Flinders University, Professor Leon Lack, have a fantastic sleep unit, and have done lots of work on adolescent sleep patterns and also different kinds of insomnia. Helping the insomnia without drugs and with knowledge of your natural sleep patterns.
I think if there had been online places like Mamamia etc when I was younger, I would have found my depression a lot easier to deal with, so I hope you keep visiting and sharing your thoughts and experiences.
Best wishes.
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This is a wonderful blend of empathy and commonsense – couldn’t have said it better. Wishing you all the best with your journey, Gatesy.
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I love the mindfulness. When it’s hot and humid (as the weather is today) I feel anxious and the feeling of dread is unbareable. I can’t focus on the positives or anything like that but as I was reading your post, I let it pass (it was as if I was watching my body) and it really did pass. I’m 37 years old and didn’t realise I could do this. Thank you so much
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It’s amazing what talking about something reveals – there are so many others in a similar situation. It means that you don’t have to go through it alone. Finding the courage to talk about it and then finding someone who can truly hear what you are saying is the key. So well done on bringing it into the open.
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hi Gatesy, i am also 17 and although do not suffer depression myself, one of my best friends suffers severe depression. She did not tell me she had depression until about a year after it was diagnosed and we have been best friends our whole lives and for some reason she didnot feel she could share this with anyone, although we all knew something was definately wrong as she missed weeks of school at time.
When she told me I tried to support her as much as I could, although I have no other experience with mental health issues so it was hard for me to relate to her but i think now we have both matured as people and formed a closer frienship through supporting each other through such an intense emotional time.
Also my other friends boyfriend has tried to kill himself mutiple times due to his depression. I think teen depression is very common, although with support and love from others we can help sufferes through difficult times just as me and my friend so people like my freinds boyfriend do not feel like suicide is the only answer.
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Hi Gatesy,
I’m seventeen and have also been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and am on medication. Just wanted to let you know that you are definitely not alone in this, and things will get better. How do you find going to school? Because with me, it is horrible. I’m a college captain, so I have all this responsibility and extra commitments that go with it, but I constantly find myself missing school or going home early ‘sick’ because I can’t cope. And I cannot find the motivation to do anything, let alone assignments. And it sucks, because I need to get into uni next year.
But as you said, depression is a lot more common than what we think…I have two friends that have also been diagnosed and are on medication.
I hope you are getting the help you need, and although at times it seems impossible to fathom, things will get better. You just need to cling on to that. I have nine school days left forever, and I’m desperately hoping that when I graduate, I won’t feel as bad as I do now.
Thinking of you xxx.
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hey nic, gatesy
Im 19, suffer from anxiety which under enough stress causes depression and I Just want to say to you, after school is when it really gets better. there is less judgement, Less of being told what to do and alot more freedom. Yeah, There are more responsabiities which can make things worse but then slowly but surely you find thatt little place in he world designed just for you and suddenly all the fight, all the darkness you went through is all worth it, Just to be exactly where you are. Im not saying that the stress anxiety and depression goes away but you learn how to deal, and at least for me I want to push through because I know what else the word has to offer.
You also reaise what a small part of life school really is, dont worry if you dont get into uni, things will run their path and it may take you a few more years to get somewhere but you will have other experences with it. You will always make you way in life, no matter what happens and sometimes you end up somewhere you never expected and you cant imagine being anywhere else.
But aways remember, It will get better
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Hi Gatesy,
I am also 17 and struggling with depression..
I just wanted to tell you that I know how hard it can be, and that you’re not alone.
Sending you love and hugs x
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Hi Gatesy,
Two of my best friends have suffered/are suffering anxiety disorders.
I was saddened that it took both of them so long to reach out and tell me what they were going through.
Trust me you friends will want to do everything to support you, and we are the best help when we know what we’re helping you with.
Your friends will put so much value in the fact that you can trust them and want them to be such an important part in your support network.
All the best
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Thank you for the lovely comments of support and encouragement. To the people who have shared similar experiences, your bravery knocks my socks off. As much as I know this illness is nothing to be ashamed of, realising that speaking out can be such a positive experience has been immeasurably helpful.
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My daughter was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety at seventeen. She’s on her third type of antidepressants this year and has regular CBT.
I found this article on Mamamia Cares about teen depression and suicide particularly eye-opening, and what is even more heartbreaking is that it is written by a teenager too.
http://www.mamamia.com.au/mamamia-cares/in-memory-of-shane/
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Love this article. Full of good information which is not easily available to parents and teenagers with depression.
When my youngest son was diagnosed at 13, it was a shock. Out of all my children, he was the gentlest, the most popular, the one that everyone in the family and at school loved. How could it be him?
He was also the one who observed all that was going on around him and just didn’t have the emotional maturity to be able to stand back and know that we wouldn’t all be overwhelmed by life. He was terrified for everyone around him, constantly worried for them and it became too much for him.
He had medication, CBT did not work for him but talk therapy with a therapist through Child/Adolescent Mental Health and home schooling for two years did work. He learnt to feel safe and who he could trust and he also grew older and emotionally more mature and could better process the things he saw happening. His brain caught up with his feelings, so to speak, as he got older.
It’s very hard to watch your teenager go through depression. My advice, for what its worth, is listen with your whole being to everything they tell you, you will get to the issues that have led to their depression, always go gently with them and then you can help them work on it. The time I spent with my son really tested me and was really sad at times but I learnt so much from him too. He is doing really well now. Good luck to all at there in this situation xo
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I just read this comic about depression and it is brilliant: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html
I always like her work (usually it is hilarious) but this quote was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time: “…trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back. A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn’t going to work.”
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That. Is. A. Great. Link. TY picardie.girl
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You are so welcome! Sometimes humour helps transcend barriers of understanding in a way that nothing else can, don’t you think? xx
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I sure do agree with you there
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What an awesome blog!! And I’m not a big fan of blogs as a rule, but this woman a) knows how to write, b) is funny, c) really really knows how to write.
Her comic on depression gave me a bit of a jolt though. I’ve felt like that. A lot. But don’t want to label it/make it worse. So I muddle through, much like many of us I guess.
Thank you so much for introducing me to hyperboleandahalf
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Oh I love Hyperbole and was very upset when I read Allie’s post. Having been through a similar situation I know how she felt – love the complete lethargy when she is sitting on top of the dirty washing on the couch!
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I love that blog. How is a stick figure capable of showing so much emotion?
“I spent months shut in my house, surfing the internet on top of a pile of my own dirty laundry which I set on the couch for “just a second” because I experienced a sudden moment of apathy on my way to the washer and couldn’t continue.”
Haha, this happens to me regularly. Thankfully the journey does not (usually) take me two weeks.
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I think this is a great article. I agree about getting teens to do feeling cards etc is a bit too airy fairy. They need to know what is happening, that there is a plan to work on, that many others have been where they are and got through.
I wish your niece all the very best. xx
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I am one of the reasons my best friend is still alive.
Ans she is one of the reasons I am.
This just hit home.
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I have suffered from depression for many years although it wasn’t recognised until I suffered post natally. The best thing I ever did was find a psychologist who is amazing- after 3 different ones though! She has made such a difference in my life. I am also still on medication as when I tried to come off I crashed and burned. ANYONE who knows of someone who has any depressive symptoms- please speak out, give them the help they need and above all, don’t tell them to “Get over it!” It is not that easy. I have suffered now for 10 years and probably will for life.
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I also think we need more awareness in schools etc about thoughts and feelings that maybe wouldn’t reach the threshold of a depression diagnosis but, with all the hormones, self-discovery and social turmoil that is inherent in being a teenager, feels like is bigger than Ben Hur. Something to tell kids that feeling stressed and down is real, and ok and that they can talk about it without fear of judgment. I think that by being more open about clinical depression, there will be less stigma to admitting that you’re not coping with something, or just that you feel down for no particular reason you can think of. I had many low episodes as a teen and, as my mum had been diagnosed with depression, had a real fear that I might have depression (which was, due to the stigma, a bad thing). So I didn’t talk to anyone and it made it worse. Never got to a true depressive episode, I think, but it was just generally feeling crappy. And I didn’t understand that it was ok to feel crappy, and that talking about it and dealing with it would help.
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while this is certainly an important topic to get out there and be discussed more openly, I wonder about the appropriateness of a post where the identity of the child in question can be so easily identified by those who know the people in question?
Sorry, I just don’t think it’s appropriate. Even if the child/parents said it was ok, it’s still a child. Some minor editing of the article could remove any identification issues. Kids can be really mean to each other, and to have an article outlining a child’s mental health issues posted on the internet, is asking for trouble.
Maybe I’m overreacting, but I’ve got depression issues myself and would be MORTIFIED by seeing such an article on myself published, and I’m an adult. I think a bad judgement call has been made here.
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I appreciate your concerns. My niece helped write the book. I sought her advice and consulted her about things like the language and what image she would like on the front cover. The telling of the story became part of her ability to grapple with the problem – and it has been fictionalized. Events were invented and altered to help with the telling of the story. But I do agree with you – taking others into consideration is important.
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At the age of 46 and struggling on and off with depression I have finally been diagnosed with Pyrrole disease – was simply detected by a Urinary Kryptopyrrole Test here in Australia.
Pyrrole Disorder (also known as Pyrroluria, and formally as Malvaria) is a genetically-based condition which results in the abnormal synthesis/metabolism of hemoglobin. The presence of pyrroluria can have a profound effect on mental and physical health.
If positive it can the underlying cause of depression, alcoholism, bi polar, manic depression etc. The problem is most GP’s don’t know anything about it. It’s treatment is a specially devised nutrients, vitamins, minerals and amino acids nutritional supplement programs aimed at balancing the patient’s body chemistry.
It is one of many biochemical disorders – I have also been gentically inclined with high doses of Copper – have a look at this site for more info and medical practitioners (not quacks) who might be able to help
http://www.biobalance.org.au/articles/10
It’s not an attempt to diagnose anyone else I was just in the medical and psychological wilderness for far too long.
Also have a look at this link -
http://www.kingswaycompounding.com.au/Practitioners/PractitionerNews/tabid/104/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/14/Pyrrole-Disorder.aspx
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there needs to be so much more done to raise awareness of teenage depression. my daughter has anorexia and depression, she has tried to take her own life 3 times, that I am aware of!!! there was nowhere except a lockdown facility in Sydney for her to go to, I was terrified and she ended up in a geriatric MHU for 9 weeks. In this country we should have better options of care for our children. Don’t even get me started on the govt.’s decision to cut rebates on the better access to mental health. It is a long road but one with the correct care can get better.As to why, in the 60′s we couldn’t see so much of the world now we see it all, the good the bad and the ugly and the photoshopped!!!! it is hard to be perfect just ask any teenager.
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You make a really great point about the crisis state of mental health care in Australia. It really is atrocious that it is so expensive and so difficult to find care. I know in Canberra even if you have the money it’s difficult to get seen because there just aren’t enough doctors. And to get public treatment you have to be suicidal. It’s one reason that my GP manages my illness entirely, even though if I were to see a therapist I might be able to learn coping mechanisms rather than relying on drugs to do all the work. All the best to you and your daughter.
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I just have to say, as someone who was diagnosed with depression at 13, it’s really great to see it being talked about. I mean it sucks that it’s so prevalent, but the fact that people are always being reminded that they’re not alone is fantastic. My only complaint is that at times the focus is on depression alone, rather than more broadly about mental illness.
When I was 21 I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder (my illness changed as I matured, or had been misdiagnosed when I was younger). I still feel that Bipolar is quite taboo, along with illnesses like Schizoprenia and Borderline Personality Disorder (among many others). It would be great if one day people could be as understanding and accepting of these illnesses too.
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smitten kitten – thanks for mentioning other mental illnesses, I definitely agree with you there. While there is often a mention of depression (which is definitely a good thing as it’s great to see people talking about it), other mental ilnesses are not mentioned nearly as often. I agree that there is still a stigma about schizophrenia, bipolar and borderline personality disorder.
Although I’ve not suffered from any kind of mental illness, my brother has. It started with depression as young as 11 and the most recent diganosis was schizophrenia two years ago, at the age of 22. I’m not pretending I know what it’s like to suffer from a mental illness but I know more about it than a lot of people having experienced it first hand with my brother.
My brother often says that he wishes there wasn’t such a stigma surrounding his illness. It’d be great if one day someone could write an article about suffering from schizophrenia or bipolar too.
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Oh yes, depression is rather common amongst teenagers, strangely. I study Social Work and am rather interested in counselling and youth work.
My mother and sister both suffer from depression, and I previously did, but I feel that I’m over it now. We all took Zoloft. I remember being so ashamed when I started medication, I only told my best friend. I distinctly remember her hugging me and saying everything would be alright… but she also said something like “Why don’t you just try to be happy?” and at that vulnerable time, those words really stung. Obviously, I’d tried to be happy. However, life doesn’t always work that way.
Sometimes, I don’t really agree with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. CBT has its place, and works well for some people. Other times, it can help change the persons thinking, but it does nothing to actually help the problem.
I spent a semester in my high school’s boarding house last year, and that helped me develop friendships with so many younger kids throughout the school. I sorta was a mini-counsellor to them, an ‘almost adult’ that they could talk about any kind of troubles with. Perhaps that meant that I heard about a lot of kids having depression/anxiety, a higher ratio than normal…. Nonetheless, it’s out there, and it’s a big deal. How to help? Well, I’m working on my education and soon enough I’ll be out there helping
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I am reading an excellent book titled “don’t peak at highschool” in which some very famous Australians talk about how they were bullied at high school. I think bully and peer pressure definately contributed to my depression in high school. I never felt like I fit, and the result was a lot of anxiet, self doubt and depression. I wish I had this book when I was a teenager as I think it really would have helped me. The world is a very scary and confusing place as a teen, reading about how others coped and finally managed to rise above the self doubt is very encouraging. Recommend it for all teenagers on struggle street.
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I am sorry that your niece is going through clinical depression.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time. The first panic attack I remember was when I was seven. My parents never sought help for me. The GP I saw at 14 put me on sedatives for a year and my parents refused to let me see a psychologist, my first suicide attempt was when I was 15.
When I was 18 I was on anti-depressants without a psychologist and then I went off them. This cycle continued until I was 28 and pregnant with my first child. I was so depressed and anxious I couldn’t function anymore. I saw a psychiatrist for 2 years. I feel like I am getting on top of things now, although I know that I will be likely to relapse given my history.
I wonder how different things would be if I had seen a psychologist sooner and was taught the coping strategies earlier.
Your brother and the mother of his child are doing a great thing getting their daughter help. I hope that things get better for her. That the chemicals balance out, that the CBT makes sense and that she can get on top of this.
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I struggled with depression as a teen – I was even hospitalised for a psychotic episode – and I’m still walking with the ‘black dog’ today, although it’s not nearly as bad as it was when I was younger. The biggest help I found was finding a therapist I could actually relate to. The ones in hospital were great, but couldn’t see me on an outpatient basis, and it took me four and a half years to find someone who seemed interested in me as person, rather than a list of clinical symptoms to be fixed.
I can’t help but stress the importance of both reaching out to someone you think could be in a bad place, but also trying to seek help if you yourself are in the void. I wish I had.
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This is my cousin to a tee.
She has already blocked us out in anger of us trying to help her and her mother (even though her mother already leans on us).
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I also have a teen daughter.
So I can relate. I’m watching her very closely as she has changed appearance and I found a razor blade hidden in her iPod cover.
It’s sad that they have to go thru this but I was her age once so I know what to look for
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Many of the comments being made on this post may provide you with support about the approaches other people took and are still taking. Open discussion can help.
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Do you talk to your daughter about how she’s feeling? If she doesn’t want to talk to you, it might help you to go to a psychologist yourself, to find ways to help her if she needs it. If she is self-harming or suicidal, it’s so important to try and let her know that she can be herself and be honest with you and that you will still love her. And it’s important that you find it in yourself to truly accept her and who she is and feels herself to be, and not try to change her or be intolerant of things about her.
I know a young man who is radically self-harming because he thinks he might be gay and his parents are very conservative Christians who would disown him if he told them. He has sought the help of a psychologist, but cannot tell his parents what the source of his self-loathing is. So much needless pain.
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