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meditation1 380x254 And then I tried meditation

 

 

 

 

I have a confession.

Until recently, I considered meditation to be in the same basket as mung beans and hemp socks – worthy and noble but not something I was ever likely to get excited about.

In my mind, meditation was the kind of thing my kooky, kaftan wearing Aunt would do. Just after she’d finished planting her garlic bulbs by the light of the full moon.

Sure – I’d read that people who meditated lived longer. And had lower blood pressure. And were nicer to their kids.  But I was also pretty sure that giving up wine would have a similar effect and I hadn’t cracked that one either.

Besides, I didn’t have time to meditate. I had dragons to slay and mountains to climb.

Then I had kids (oh so many kids) and my already busy life went into overdrive. I would have laughed (a little hysterically) if anyone had suggested I take 10 minutes a day to “centre myself”.

Every so often though, listening to the radio or walking past an open café door, I’d hear that beautiful Simon and Garfunkel song, “Feelin’ Groovy”.

You know the one…

“Slow down – you move too fast. You gotta make this moment last……”

And I’d dismiss it instantly.

I’d walk faster or flick over to Radio National and listen to something important.

I didn’t have time to slow down. I had to move fast. I had lunches to make. And reports to write.  And bills to pay.

No.

Far better not to stop.

With a bit of effort, I could even ignore the exhausting loop of thoughts bouncing around in my head.

For a while.

Turns out that Buddhists have a name for a mind like mine that jumps from one thought to the next like a monkey jumps from tree to tree. They call it “Monkey Mind”.  The monkey mind is not happy to live in the present moment but is constantly occupied with following every thought that passes through.

Me, I’m clearly not as evolved as your average Buddhist and I prefer to think of my mind as a Labrador puppy. Anyone who has ever lived with a Labrador puppy (or seen Marley and Me) knows that the very last thing you should do with a Labrador puppy is ignore it.

It’ll start off cute and fluffy and eager to please but without discipline it’ll turn into 30 kilos of noisy chaos.

And that’s what happened. Except that the noisy chaos was in my head and it had happened so gradually I didn’t even know it.

A badly behaved Labrador had become my normal mental state.

And then I tried meditation.

Why I did it, I have no idea. The closest I can come to an answer is that I was slightly hungover and the empty meditation room at a seminar I was attending looked soothing.

I sat down and tried not to think of anything.

Yippee…you are finally focussing on me,” my mind responded, “..check it out I can do cartwheels and I can actually hold 62 thoughts at one time and make no sense of any of them. I can make you remember that embarrassing thing you did when you were 16 and then every other embarrassing thing you have done since then…….as well as spit out a random idea for using up those old tomatoes in the fridge.”

I endured 10 minutes (it is amazing how long that can seem) and then suddenly something happened.

Silence.

It felt good – beautiful even.

Silence – for all of 15 seconds.

But it was enough. I was hooked. For the first time, I could imagine a life unaccompanied by endless useless mental chatter.

And so began my adventures in meditation.

Turns out there are a heap of different styles of meditation and I’m going try them all. Which ones works? Which don’t. Which ones are too kooky? And which ones keep that crazy Labrador curled up calmly out of the way so I can get on with slaying my dragons.

Have you tried meditation? Has it helped? What daily rituals do you have that bring you a bit of peace?

Kathy Wilson is actually quite good at some things, sadly just not meditation – yet.  You can follow her on her meditation website www.mydiamonddays.com which offers 10-minute meditations sent daily to you via email.

 

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64 Comments so far

  1. Ian

    As an “on-again off-again” meditator for over 15 years, I have to say it’s a bit like brushing your teeth. Doing it once won’t make any difference. And you shouldn’t expect any change after any one time of brushing your teeth. But your dentist knows when you turn up there once a year that you’ve been brushing (and who knows, maybe even flossing). The effect of meditation is both cumulative, and self-authenticating.

    For those looking to start, sit down, shut up, and imagine breathing through the soles of your feet for ten minutes.

    Done.

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  2. the Original Camille

    what works for me:
    * A lie-down after lunch (no more than 30mn other wise i fall asleep). My mind instantly clears and I ‘come to’ usually very suddenly for no reason and am not groggy. I have no idea what happened during the time, i don’t remember anything. But I feel very refreshed.
    * swimming laps
    * having a bath in which i let the tap drip-drip-drip onto my fingers. Sometimes, i slap the water in time to tunes in my head first- very weird, i know, but very relaxing
    *clsing my eyes and counting every time I exhale. if i forget the number, i start again at 1. It takes a lot of time to get to 10, a very long time. also useful when i can’t get to sleep.
    All these activites are done lying donw. DO NOT put me in a LOTUS!!!!!

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  3. arna

    Hiya!
    My names Arna Baartz, I am a friend of your beautiful sister and family.
    LOVE the article! very funny and OH could I relate!
    I’ll never forget my mother sitting in lotus position when
    i was about 8, screaming at the top of her lungs “SHUTUP I’M TRYING TO MEDITATE!”
    wonderful,
    am now about to check out your new website!

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  4. My

    This bit cracked me up “Then I had kids (oh so many kids)…”
    Thanks :-)

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  5. picardie.girl

    I have had a troubled experience with meditation, but would say this – try lots of different styles, experience lots of techniques and different teachers, and THEN say that it’s no good.

    Mindfulness classes worked better for me than sitting meditation, and even better than that is walking. I don’t like to sit still and I find it hard to quiet my mind this way, but walking shushes my monkey brain very quickly. With practice, I am guessing that I could work my way up to something else. It doesn’t have to be ‘woo woo’ – find what works for you. x

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  6. Elle

    Ive noticed that there are lots of meditation iPhone apps. Has anyone tried any? Any recommendations? I’d really like to start meditating properly instead of just saying I will …

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  7. Sass

    I recently tried gong meditation while I was on holiday in America. It was amazing!!! You would lie on a yoga mat while the mediation leader would strike the gong creating almost a song. The vibrations from the gong would move through your body- the mind would go silent and at stages throughout the meditation I actually felt “high”. I wasn’t sure if it was meant to happen but in my second class the instructor gave a bit of background on the gong and said that it was first brought to the America from India in the 1960′s to teach the hippy’s techniques on how to get high without drugs.

    I felt so rejuvenated and full of energy after each class. Been trying to find a class in Brisbane/Gold Coast area without any luck….

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    • Sailor Girl

      Ooh! I just watched Judith Lucy’s Spritual Journey on ABC (now on DVD) and she did something similar in Byron Bay and said it was fantastic. It made me really want to try it! Im in Brisbane too and would love to find something around here..

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  8. Mak

    Thanks for posting this. I have been out of the habit of meditating and my ‘monkey brain’ has become a little out of control. NY resolution – meditate every day. Thanks for the reminder.

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  9. Jeri

    I’ve been attending yoga classes 3 times per week for the last 3 months. The class also has a meditation section and the yogi also provides guidance on the monkey mind and clearing the mind and detachment. It is changing my body, but more importantly it’s helping me endure the worst employment situation I have ever encountered (bullying/harrassment).

    On a brighter note, I thought I’d share this video. It’s so true http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMC1_RH_b3k&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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  10. essessesse

    I’ve tried meditation but there’s so much crap whizzing around in my head. I did a course once through Eastern Suburbs Community College. I was trying and trying but nothing was working. The classes were held in a demountable classroom in a school grounds, I think it was the school after care office. About six weeks into the course, 20 minutes into the session, the ‘phone rang. We heard the outgoing message and then a very confused elderly man saying, “Hello? Hello? What the f**k? HELLO?” This reduced most of us to giggles but the teacher pulled us all back. 15 minutes after that there was a loud banging at the door and a woman bounced in (she knew the teacher from another class) and proceeded to talk to the teacher at the top of her voice about traffic etc. She was completely oblivious to the fact that there was a class going on, the room was in semi darkness and we were all quiet. Not content with her entrance, she barged around looking for a space and asked one of the other class participants (who was in a prone position on the floor) to get up and help her with a blanket. By this point most of us were sitting up and openly laughing. She had no idea and her entire entrance took up about 15 minutes of the class. I think it was at that point I decided to abandon my adventures in meditation at that point, with that course at least, and never tried it again. Since then my head has filled to bursting.

    To this day I don’t know why the teacher didn’t ask her to settle down and stop disturbing people.

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  11. lucindainthesky

    My brain is more than a badly behaved labrador, it’s more like a jitterbug! I have issues sometimes with anxiety and meditation can help after a while, probably more if stuck it out and practiced. I tend to find for about 7 or 8 minutes my mind goes into an anxious “oh my god, im missing out on something” or self denegrative thoughts, and always thoughts about how much i have to do today, this year, before im 35… and not enough time, not enough time, I’m failing at life. I really REALLY struggle to live in the moment, and as a result my stress management and tendency toward anxiety still needs to be addressed better. I really like yoga because it’s meditation without keeping still and stretching all your bits. It’s like meditation for someone with ADD haha. And I probably have undiagnosed ADD lol. But I think I do need to practice daily meditation, I know it would do me the world of good.

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  12. La Petite Chou

    Meditation saved my life.

    No, really.

    At a time when I was battling major depression, on anti-depressants and going to twice weekly counselling sessions, a friend suggested a lunch-time meditation session.

    It was a so-called ‘guided’ meditation, in which the participants lay down and got comfortable, some soft ambient music was played and the group leader then gave us guidance for focussing on our breathing and just our breathing. It was a huge help to follow the simple act of breathing in and out rather than all the self talk that was shouting at me.

    Bit by bit, over many weeks, my mind quietened and I could meditate for over an hour. On one occasion a huge storm broke out and I didn’t notice it. When I came back into my body at the end of the hour I wondered why my feet were wet. I’d been laying next to an open door closest to the rain.

    It is exactly as Kathy describes, it IS physiotherapy for your brain and it exercises it just as any other muscle. After a while I could simply go through the visualisations and begin meditation with 30 seconds rather than taking nearly 50 minutes.

    Meditation didn’t stop the anti-depressants at first but it did give me much needed perspective especially about the truly horrific way in which my self-talk was directed at me. I became the observer of my thoughts and I recommend it to everyone. Once you see what you are actually thinking, you never quite reach that same depth of self-loathing again, become more resilient, develop better coping strategies. Counsellors and doctors love it when you tell them you are meditating. It certainly doesn’t do you further harm or messes with your meds.

    To this day I try to meditate every day and 10 minutes really is all it takes. I do it first thing in the morning, sitting out on the back deck (or in the back room in winter) in my uggies and dressing gown, cup of tea cooling nearby. Then I go have my shower and get started on my day. It takes no effort at all and I frequently would love to stay a while longer.

    Life has been huge, challenging, dramatic and damned tough since I learnt it, but I’ve never gone back on anti-depressants and my depression is largely managed due to this one small practise. Saved my life, I tell you.

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    • Jodie

      Thank you both Kathy and La Petite Chou for sharing, I think I need to get started on meditation as soon as I can – my life needs a bit of sorting out and I need to start with the way I think firstly.

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  13. Loulee

    I love to mediate but it is very hard to get there. But like anything practice makes perfect. I wish I could be one of those people that devotes time each day to mediation. I’m going to look at Kathy’s website and have a go. (PS When I have been through mediation phases in the past I have found favourite mediation and returned to it again and again. So comforting. Sometimes I still drag out the mediation memories as a soothing tool when needed!)

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  14. Kateateight

    The referenced website says ‘a different meditation every day’.

    My question is – is this kind of thing suitable for a newby to meditation? Do I need to start with something simpler?

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    • mydiamonddays

      Hi Kate. Funny you ask that as our feedback is that some people like some of the meditations repeated. We have just made a change, for example so that the first 3 days repeat a really simple, introductory meditation that just feels to me like sitting still with a calm friend for 10 minutes.

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    • Anonymous

      A great book is ‘Mindfulness: finding peace in a frantic world’ by mark Williams and Danny Penman. It comes with a cd of guided meditations to do over an 8 week period.

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  15. May!

    I really want to be able to mediate. but it’s so damn HARD! I always worry that I’m doing it wrong, and have never even had so much of 5 seconds of silence while trying it. Have read hurry up and meditate, does anyone have any other good reads to help me on my way?

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    • Kris2040

      There are tons of different ways to meditate though, May. I find swimming laps in a pool very meditative, for example. I love tai chi too. Or doing a boxing class or other workout at the gym. Some people are just active relaxers and some are good at sitting there going “Om”.
      The course I did at Leichhardt (in Sydney) was great because we got to try out a bunch of different types.
      Most places that have meditation take noobs under their wing for free to make sure it’s for you. You may just be an active relaxer/meditator like me – tai chi is great too!

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      • picardie.girl

        Kris, that is a wonderful description – ‘active relaxers’!!! I have just realised that this is me to a T. My bf likes to sit and can’t understand why it’s so hard for me – I’ll tell him I’m an ‘active relaxer’. :)

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        • Kris2040

          When I first started treatment for my depression in the navy, I had a navy psych and a civilian guy – trying to work out what would work best. The navy dude I just used to go and pretty much have chats with. The civvy did Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – it was all sit quietly with your eyes closed, RELAX, then “feel the seat on your back, just notice the sound of the cars but don’t pay attention to it…” blah blah blah. I told my doc that I didn’t like it and I ended up getting more stressed out. He was the one who first said “active relaxation”. Like, I find reading or coming on the interwebs relaxing, but others it suits them better to go and sit and stare at the sea, which I find deathly boring. When I did the meditation course and was dubious, the teacher knew me a little and my GP at the practice both said “Go and stick with it at least till week 4, that’s when we do Tai Chi”. They were right.

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    • mydiamonddays

      Hi May. That is exactly the same question I asked Matt from the Melbourne Meditation Centre when I interviewed him for the site (because it is the way I felt). You can check out how he answered it on the home page of mydiamonddays.com but essentially, he seemed to think that all of that stuff is normal and to just keep going anyway (I swear it sounded a lot more wise when he said it.)

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  16. neola

    Every time I’ve ever tried to meditate, I fall asleep! Any advice? I would love to be able to master it.

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    • Rose

      Try sitting up when you meditate – you fall over when you fall asleep, which wakes you up so you can continue :)

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    • picardie.girl

      When I studied mindfulness, the teacher said that we often get what we need out of the practice – if we fell asleep, we most likely needed to sleep!

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  17. adoreyoga

    Yep, 10 mins is my fave duration, and I’ve been doing it for over a decade! It’s not how long you meditate for, it’s how often. 10 mins a day is WAY better than 1hr a week. It’s like any skill, you get better with regular practice. Imagine training for a marathon by going to the gym once a week! It takes daily preparation to get in shape and it’s the same with your mind.

    It’s so great to see articles ‘normalising’ meditation. Like Kathy, so many people think of meditation in the same way as ‘mung beans and hemp socks’ (hilarious!). I teach meditation in an suburb where there are not too many kaftan-wearers. Most of them are either busy mums or successful professionals. They just know they perform better when they meditate regularly.

    I found this great online resource from the US that I point my students to. It’s ideal for beginners (wish I’d designed this myself!) If you want to learn to meditate, but can’t get to a class, this is a good way to start because it really gets back to basics (right down to a video showing you how to sit!) It costs $17US, but I felt it was a good investment (even as a seasoned meditator, I like the input of fresh guided meditations)

    https://www.mentalworkout.com

    Happy meditating!

    Nik
    http://www.adoreyoga.com

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    • picardie.girl

      I was talking about chakras with my bf last night and we agree that the trouble is most of the information and classes about meditation, yoga, etc. come from people who are on the ‘mung beans and hemp socks’ side of life! I need someone down to earth to talk to me about this stuff or I can’t get my head around it. You seem very down-to-earth yourself, Nik – it’s a shame you’re all the way in Mosman or I’d pay you a visit. ;)

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      • adoreyoga

        I completely agree. I’ve been teaching yoga & meditation for a decade and while my personal practice is deeply spiritual, I still cringe when I hear teachers get all new age-y. Chakras, nadis and all the other esoteric staff can be seen as metaphors – ways that have helped (some) people get a handle on the more subtle aspects of the practice. It’s important to be pragmatic. What works for YOU? If it’s a mung-bean meditation, complete with incense and temple bells – great! If it’s 5 minutes focusing on a meaningful object, picture or affirmation, that’s fine too. There are enough styles of yoga and meditation to accommodate everyone (it can be a bit of a process of trial and error finding the right teacher, though!) Nik x

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        • Ruth

          Hi Nik,

          I briefly lived in Mosman last year and I believe you took one of my community classes at Lululemon. I have to say it was the BEST thing I’ve done for myself in years – it was the first class I’ve taken in years, after having practiced for seven years (oh, how life distracts). I’ve continued to practice now I’m back in the Blue Mountains and feel amazing for it.

          Anyone considering going to Adore, I fully recommend it!

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  18. becsparrow

    I am really into meditation. But Kathy’s approach works best for me … 10 minutes is about my limit. But I find that even just being “still” for 10 minutes makes a HUGE difference to my mental and emotional state.

    Meditating (which for me is really just sitting quietly for 10 minutes) and filling out a gratitude journal are two of the biggest things that helped keep me afloat in the year after Georgie died. Definitely worth trying if you’re looking for ways to feel less overwhelmed.

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  19. kellyexeter

    I am a bit excited that I now have a description for how my mind works … it is EXACTLY a badly behaved labrador!

    The last time I did meditation was in Primary School (!!) I think it might be time to try again!

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  20. Kathy Wilson

    Hi All
    I’m loving these comments and I’m delighted others have had the same feelings about meditation as me.
    http://www.mydiamonddays.com is looking for 20 volunteers to try our meditations for free for a month and let us know how it worked. Just go to our site and go to Our Experiment to sign up.

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  21. Karen

    I’ve never attended any meditation classes, but I do my own version every morning without thinking about it. I get up really early and go for a walk all by myself. I don’t think of anything to do with my day. I just take in the atmosphere. When I return I make myself a coffee and sit on the back deck and just chill for about 10 mins. it’s a wonderful start to the day. And then….the chaos starts.

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  22. Lindy

    Wow how timely! I just sent my enrollment form off to join a 7 week yoga & meditation course! I’ll let u know how it goes!!

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    • Lara

      Lindy who is that with? I’m in the process of trying different types of meditation, would love to find out about the course.

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      • Kris2040

        If you’re in Sydney, I did a meditation course at Leichhardt Women’s Health Centre last year. It was great fun!

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      • Lindy

        Hey Lara, I live in rural NSW, it’s through a local community college who run leisure & hobby courses. It’s Wednesday nights from 5:30 – 7:30pm.

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        • Lara

          Great thanks guys! I have now found a few, and signed up. So will test them all out, and find which onevsuits me best. Thanks Heaps!

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  23. Vanessa

    I got into meditation about a year ago and try to do it daily. It’s awesome, changed my life. I also had a monkey mind, and now, most of the time, it’s peaceful. I simply download guided meditations from the web, and sometimes I just do my own in my head. I also go to a group meditation once a month. Awesome.

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    • robsmc

      Hi, don’t suppose you could list some of the ones you downloaded? Meditation has been kicking around the back of my monkey mind for a while and I think it might be time for this monkey to relax a little and do something about meditating …! Thanks in advance!

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      • becsparrow

        Hi Rob
        Kathy’s just started a website offering daily 10 minute meditations. And she’s currently looking for volunteers who want to receive them for free. Go check out her website (listed at end of the article).

        And good luck!

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        • robsmc

          Thanks, will do!

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      • vanessa

        Hi, Try theguidedmeditationsite.com, or secretmeditations.com. Otherwise, there are heaps of free ones on YouTube. Good luck! Remember, there is no ‘right way’, just whatever works for you.

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  24. maybedaisy

    I went to a meditation class once and the guy next to me jizzed in his jocks. Quite impressive, really.

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    • girly

      LOL wow! Was he a newbie?

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    • Emma

      Good lord. I kind of want more information, but then again, maybe not!

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    • janellec68

      Wow! He must’ve felt a major sense of ………… release!

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  25. Rick Morton

    I’m on holidays (back Friday!) and watching the test cricket has become my form of meditation. Just to sit and have time to myself to think is bliss. I rarely do it, certainly not when I am in Sydney!

    Maybe I’ll give the real deal a go!

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  26. Lana

    I really really want to try meditate but I am acutely afraid of boredom. :-)

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    • msdovic

      Same…

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    • Kris2040

      Hey Lana, the course I did, we did a couple of different types of meditation every week. I was dubious as I have an intensely low boredom threshold too, but there are active meditation techniques as well. Tai Chi is one, and I loved that. There was also walking meditation, chanting. I loved chanting too – you feel like a bit of a dick when you start, but you get into it. Kind of like when everyone is singing along at a concert? Great fun.

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    • Flickster

      I thought the same thing- I also have a “monkey mind”. I did a Christian meditation day and once I accepted the outside noises, embraced the environment i was in it was seriously incredible. When I was fighting the noise it was pointless, and I kept having internal arguments about the lawnmower and busy road nearby. Once our instructor pointed out that the noise was part of life and we could embrace it, my mind allowed me to relax, and be more still and more clear. Wonderful. Thanks Kathy its reminded me how great a gift we can give ourselves for a 10 minute session.

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  27. girly

    I tried meditiation once. I was on my bed, closed my eyes. I felt really good for a few minutes until Mum called out my name and burst into my room and I was pulled out of it. I haven’t tried it since. It would be kind of hard since my boyfriend is so excitable most of the time and we love being in each others company. :) I still would like to try it again. Maybe next week when I do my early start at work and am home before him.

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    • Kris2040

      Don’t you commute? Why not try doing it on the train using your ipod?

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    • sarah

      why does your life revolve around your boyfriend? make time for meditation

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      • girly

        Wow I am being vilified because I am close to someone I love. I live a fair distance away from my family, and only see them every few months so he is the only family I have!

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        • Kris2040

          You’re not being vilified. It’s just a suggestion. You’ve said you’d like to meditate, but having to play with your boyfriend stops that happening. Make it happen. It’d be good for you do to something for yourself by yourself.

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  28. Karls

    I was the same (minus the kids)… Started meditation and yoga because I just couldn’t think straight with all the thoughts crammed into my poor exhausted brain!

    I’m also a voice over artist and run Think Beautiful – so I’ve combined my talents and put together a guided meditation for those looking to start out. Check it out… http://www.thinkbeautiful.com.au/?p=899

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  29. tanlee

    I found another entree into a meditative state of mind: childbirth. BC (Before Children) I was an insomniac who couldn’t turn off their thoughts until the wee hours of the morning. PC I was incapable of thinking period. I’ve gone out like a light every night ever since. Who knew children were the cure for insomnia?
    PS I had the same experience with yoga you did with meditation. Was bored out of my mind trying it in my 20s. Felt like I was getting the delicious inner body massage I desperately needed when I tried it again in my late 30s. That’s what I love about life. You never know where you’ll end up exactly or what you’ll end up doing and amen to that.

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