If you had have stumbled into our home for the Christmas of 2006, you would have left quite quickly.
Actually, you would have run for your life.
The Christmas of 2006 was the year my mother was gifted a slow cooker by my step-dad, Murray.
For most women who have been “gifted” an appliance for their birthday, Mother’s Day or on Christmas Day, they will understand the fury that followed.
However, for those who have gotten in the habit of buying a new vacuum cleaner or set of mixing bowls as a gift, and they’re a tad confused about what the problem is, let me explain.
Just because the vacuum cleaner is broken and your mother/wife/daughter/sister/other human is the main one who uses it, does not mean they want it as a gift.
Just because any of those said people above have complained that the mixing bowls are old and we need new ones, does not mean they want it as a gift.
And, as Murray found out, just because my mum’s friend brought up this “slow cooker thing” in a conversation, did not mean she wanted it as a gift.
“But, you said it would make life easier when you’re running late!” Murray cried.
“Not the point,” mum retorted, “Making dinner for you is a job. Not a present…I need a drink.”
Throwback to 2007 Christmas. My mum, in reading this article, would like to note I always put effort into her gifts.
Top Comments
Wow. Your mom sounds like a piece of work. Am confused how she can think her picking up what people want from titbits in conversations is her ‘love language’ but when others do that (your step dad for example hearing the slow cooker conversation and that it would make her life easier. That certainly sounds like a love present to me) makes him obnoxious and selfish. Honestly, your mom sounds toxic and self absorbed. Good for her she is now buying herself diamonds or whatever - big congratulations that on Christmas Day she makes sure she gets what she wants and can put herself ‘first’. Ugh. As an aside am quite sure all the gifts your mom bought people were likely not received with joy regardless of how polite they may have been when they received them. I’m a parent to four children and we have a family secret Santa which must be handmade (a drawing or anything made) - and they know when they are older that anything they get me - a 20p second hand book will be lovely. Or a small donation to charity. We are not a religious family in any way - but Christmas is not about consumerism, it is about love and being with one another. There are 364 other days in the year to buy things for yourself. I grew up with an extremely toxic, selfish mother (malignant narcissist) and this article reads as a huge red flag to me. This is certainly something she would do as well. Start a fight on Christmas Day because a present wasn’t up to scratch. This is *not* normal or appropriate behaviour from an adult and it’s sad you think it is.
We kind of combine this idea with a 'secret santa'. Every year one family member (usually me) draws out who is buying for whom. I text everyone who they've got. Then on a social media messaging service we all put our name and then 4 items on our wish list. Spend is $100 total. Sometimes, depending on what's on your list and what the person buying for you can find (we live in different parts of the country where the city folk can find anything and everything) you get a few things from your list, or sometimes just the one if it's $100 or close to that amount. It's always something you want as you've named the items you want. Yet it's still a surprise as you don't know which of the 4 you will get.