The Voice: The final battle round

Em Rusciano Tuesday 8 May 2012 7:14am

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The final battle round. Who will have the “connective emotional belief” to make it to the top 24? Let’s get cracking.

First up we had the backing singer Olympics, Carmen vs Michelle. Joel encouraged them both to get emotional with the song, to draw on memories and CONNECT. Again, first to cry WINS!  If this competition was decide on awesome hair, Carmen would have the whole caboodle locked up. I try not to judge people’s skills on their appearances (I don’t try very hard) but I just knew someone with such epic hair would be rad. My theory proved correct and Carmen tore Rihanna’s “We found love” a new one. There was yet another “supportive verbal outburst” from the silent Madden twin, I’m sure that will be addressed by the relevant people.

Next up Sam and Kieren. Trackie Dacks vs Pretty Boy. Karaoke King Vs Musical Theatre Master. Home made t-shirt guy Vs unnecessary scarf boy. OK, I’m done. Can we take a moment to fully appreciate their coach Seal’s whole vibe last night? He was resplendent in a crisp white shirt undone to his ankles, his silver chain gleamed against his perfectly toned pectorals which were oiled up like a foxy boxer. There was THAT much sm-eye-ling going on I suspect he impregnated several women in the audience. Seal was in EXCELLENT FORM. He was the most exciting thing about this battle. Unfortunately, they were given Coldplay’s Viva La Vida to sing, I don’t even remember who went through … Wait I’ll Google it … Sam it is!

The next pairing bought us possibly the first bit of vocal sabotage we’ve seen: Kelsie vs Brittany. Keith picked one of my all time favourite songs, “Turning tables” by Adele -  showing yet again that he and I are meant to be together. So what if we are both married, so what?! In rehearsal Kelsie was holding her notes  a little too long and Brittany was finding it hard to come in on her parts. Keith TOTALLY called her on it – but fair play to Kelsie, it is a competition and any edge you can get you take. Kelsie went hard on stage y’all, she sang beautifully. I thought for sure Keith would pick her as she whipped out the “closey-eyed” gear a bit and appeared to be CONNECTING with the song. Brittany was better vocally, a shy little daisy desperate to be noticed. Keith did, of course he did! Brittany through.

Delta in the house! Matt vs Jerson, I think the real winner here was eyewear, out of nowhere Delta ripped out some thick black rimmed specks. I enjoyed the addition to her outfit, Twitter was not so kind.

Matt and Jerson were given the herculean task of Stevie Wonder’s “Higher ground”. Just before they went to the battle Delta said: “Who will take the HIGHER GROUND?” Or something to that effect, the point is she worked the song title in to the pre-song pep talk. Professional, folks. PRO-FESH-ION-AL. Personally, I thought Jerson had a much better voice than Matt however Matt was louder and a better performer so he was chosen.

Next up was the redhead vs the red dress.. When Yianna came out on stage my husband actually fell off the couch declaring “that should be illegal!”

Yianna had reminded us several times that she was sick of people judging her for the way she looked. So it totally made sense for her to perform in a spray on red mini dress right?! Jokes aside, her rigg was off the hook. Legs, boobs, teeth, tan, perky arse – couldn’t fault it. I just think if she was fair dinkum about not being judged by her model good looks, she would have popped on a hat and fashioned a frock out of a potato sack. Her opponent Sarah had iridescent red locks and a huge voice which she needed as Joel gave them “Heavy cross” by The Gossip to sing. Both struggled, Sarah had the stronger voice.

I worried when it came time to pick that Joel may let “little Joel” (not Benji I mean his crotchal area) pick Yianna for her sheer hotness but the voice won here and Sarah got through.

My Keith had only 2 singers left, Brett and Darren. He chose James Taylor’s “Shower the people” for the two of them and we could tell by the pre-song package that Darren had this one locked. Megan Washington cried, I cried, Keith cried. Thanks for coming Brett but Darren is a walking caramel, fluffy, puppy soul smile who could flat out sing. The end.

Delta’s last singers included a duo from a Christian college, Jessie and Ashley vs the adorable and sweaty Ben Bennett. The whole thing for me had a pretty weird vibe..Like a campfire sing-a-long gone wrong, and left too long, may have ended in me joining a cult. Their cult. The song was “Fireflies” by Owl City and really Delta had no choice but to pick Ben. Goodrem knew if she didn’t, thousands of hormonal teenage girls would be waiting to beat her to death with their pink penny boards in the car park after the show. Also, he was the better singer so all’s well that ends well.

Finally Seal. Glorious Seal. The lovely Casey Vs Emma-Louise, if you cast your minds back to the first week you may recall that Emma received Seal’s maiden pelvic thrust in this competition. He, in fact, got up out of his chair to dance and gyrate in her general direction, I felt he overreacted at the time but now see that our dear leader has been right all along. Emma-Louise can absolutely sing. Seal rubbed Casey’s arm 3 times, told her she was sexy and I’m pretty sure they edited out the part where he gave her a sensual foot massage with honey. Unfortunately for the crowd favourite she was out-sung, plain and simple. We will be seeing Emma-Louise next week.

That’s all from me kids, I’ll be back next week for the start of the live performance rounds (and live tweeting here). Wooo hooo.

Have a marvellous week.

Em x

P.S. We all agree Seal talks in the third person in private right? Right!

Karise and Darren

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Em Rusciano appears on Network Ten’s ’The Project’, she also  regularly hosts The Circle. You should follow her on Twitter here (she is Mamamia’s official The Voice tweeter) and read her blog here. No really you should

Did you watch last night? Did you love it?

NOTE: Just a reminder of our dinner party rules. Any rude comments directed at contestants, the judges or other commenters will be deleted or edited.