This post is sponsored by Ten.
By KATE HUNTER
Bloody guys. Life was great for Debbie and Sue before boys surfed, swaggered and cruised their panel vans into their lives. After watching Puberty Blues last night I felt positively anti-men. Not one of them came across as a decent human being. Except maybe for the final 10 seconds when Gary said, ‘Pod of whales out there.’ It was a pretty nothing line, but after the cheating, lying, aggressive, dismissive, manipulative actions and words of the previous 50 minutes, it made Cronulla’s super-spunk seem like a poet.
There, got that out of my system.
After feeling cranky, I just felt sad. Why did boys have to be like that? Are they still that way? The men in Puberty Blues are pretty awful too. The only possible exception is Roger, Sue’s dad. He’s faithful, but gutless – no way is he going to tell cheating Ferris’s wife what her smarmy husband is up to. Which begs the question, is it ever right to tell someone their partner is on with someone else. I’d say yes, but that’s another post.
This story is told through the eyes of the girls – and Kathy Lette and Gabrielle Carey who wrote the original story were there, so they should know, but what made the guys so arrogant? Was it because the girls let them – even encouraged them, with their blow jobs and Chiko Roll runs? Was it because the boys’ mums did the same for their dads – albeit with apricot chicken in place of the Chiko Rolls? I’m looking at you, Yvonne Hennessy. Gary’s mum (alongside Debbie’s little brother David) remains my favourite character.
It’s so sad the boys in Puberty Blues do little to make life better – more fun, more interesting, more memorable for the girls.
Whenever a panel van pulls up, or a wave packed with surfers rolls in, the girls’ relationship shifts. The mood gets darker, loaded … dangerous. I wanted to yell at the boys, ‘Rack off, you dickheads, those girls were having a perfectly nice time until you showed up.’
Maybe that’s just me. Could be because now I’m a mother of daughters. I’m not a girl anymore. Thank God.
Puberty Blues is a story about a nation growing up. It tells the story of two girls, Debbie and Sue; their innocence lost and experience gained against the 
backdrop of Australia in the seventies.
Based on the iconic novel Puberty Blues by Kathy Lette and Gabrielle Carey, the series will move beyond the original pages and explore the (mis) adventures of these young girls, their families and friends in a more naïve time in Australia’s history.
8:30pm Wednesdays, on Ten.
Puberty Blues
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What do you think of the guys in Puberty Blues? Are boys any different today?
Comments
122 Comments so far
Just caught up on a few episodes of Puberty Blues and I feel physically sick seeing some of those sex scenes and the disgusting way in which the boys treated those girls. Zero respect. I also wanted to scream at the girls for not standing up for themselves and each other. It has made me reflect on my past “relationships” and although it was never as bad as on the show I realise I put up with being treated way less than I deserved a few times. I feel so disgusted in myself thinking about it now!
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The story of Puberty Blues is based on the writers’ experiences growing up in Sydney. I don’t think we all were that way. At least I don’t remember it that way.
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I am reading a lot of these comments with a great deal of sadness. This show is not overdramatised. It was like that growing up in the 70s. We were the children of parents whose, for the most part, defining moment was World War 2 or/and the Depression. They instilled a great work ethic but communicated little. Girls were rarely praised for their achievements or abilities. Praise would instil a prideful attitude! Hence if a boy showed any sort of attention girls were ill equipped to maturely handle it. My best friend and I (still best friends) were the Debbie and Sue of the show. We looked out for each other and told each other everything, however, we were both in the mire together. For better or for worse that was life for a teenager in the 70s. It was what it was. Don’t dissect it, just accept it for what it was.
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I’m finding Puberty Blues enjoyable but very hard to watch at times. It was like that amongst the ‘cool kid gang’ culture, and girls had very little power. I was complicit in things because I did not feel I had any power to stand up and say no. Some of the boys had as little power too, and were at the whim of the leaders. Scary stuff.
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Why are you blaming the blokes because the girls turn on each other with the speed of a coke sniffing mongoose ? In any event, the characters are not much more an accurate reflection of the real world of the ’70s than “Mad Men” is of business life in the early 60′s or “Mean Girls” is of female relationships in the 90′s.
It is probably more accurately reflective of how feminists of the era viewed the world and were starting to write about it than what a fly on the wall of the banana yellow Sandman with shaggy carpet roof would have seen.
As a perspective that was (and remains) perfectly valid, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that the characters are anything other than a parody of a place and time designed to make a point. Heightened of course for dramatic tension.
It is hard to know whether this book is really as autobiographical as Kathy Lette claims – if so, she & Gabrielle Carey were certainly living in a very different world to myself in South Australia at the same time. I can’t get into Kathy Lette’s head – every public appearance seems to be an endless series of monologues and rather bitter jokes so it is hard to know how much of this is marketing and how much she really perceived. When it comes down to it, she really just doesn’t seem to like blokes much. Anybody else who was there really remember this as how it was ?
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I was a teenager in the 70s in Queensland though. It was like that. I really felt as if I had no options in life in any situation I was involved in – whether it was charting your life course or standing up to a male. It was leave school, get a boyfriend and get married, have 2 children and that’s your life. I desperately wanted to go to uni but that choice wasn’t available to me. My life has turned out well, but you asked if anyone remembered this as it how it was. My answer is yes. I am wondering whether parents just felt so out of their depth that they couldn’t communicate in a meaningful way with their teenagers. We were told “do this”, “don’t do that” but no conversations to help us navigate our entrance into adulthood. Hence we stumbled through.
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I was a teenager in the 70s in Queensland. Yes it was like this – sadly.
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I should add I didn’t have any of these experiences during school. I was a bit of a loner for a few years before branching out. I later in year 12 went to several 18th parties, people were more concerned with getting drunk than hooking up to be honest. They were always supervised parties too. Even the ones I went to that weren’t it was just having fun while being drunk, nothing sexual went on just kissing as weirdly tame that might sound. Everyone was actually quite respectful. Yeah sure there were some that were known to be ‘sluts’ because they had casual sex but to be honest there weren’t that many.
There was a time when I was 17 that someone who I thought was my friend laughed in my face for admitting I was a virgin. I felt so humiliated. And that was just for being myself.
Everyone’s experiences are different. It’s good to see from most of the comments how we feel uncomfortable about the way these girls and boys act because it’s all wrong. I heard heaps of teenagers love this show, most of all I hope they learn from it and not get any bad ideas of objectifying themselves just because they have a strange sex drive they can’t comprehend.
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A little off topic but did anyone else find the crying baby boy really upsetting. Obviously a baby can’t act. He was really upset. I couldn’t help wonder what the baby’s real parents were thinking/feeling when that scene after the party was shot.
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I was devastated by the scene the week before where she left the baby alone when she went out. I know its just a TV show but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
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Same!
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Yes, that was appalling
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I find all of those scenes with the baby upsetting! Have to remember “it’s just TV, it’s just TV”… but I could write a whole other story in my head about what happens when she goes out and leaves the baby alone. Makes me cry. (Ever since I had my own baby, I am super sensitive to neglect towards babies, be it fact or fiction) .
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You know, despite appearances, I don’t mind men being criticised. I’m a massive critic of men myself.
What I really hate is when the narrative changes from ‘This man did something really awful to this woman’ to ‘Men do awful things to women’ because that’s a very much closer to ‘All men do awful things to women’.
I’ve been trying to work out why I have this strange compulsion to evangelise men online.
I theorise that it’s because all these ‘Men are awful’ conversations that used to take place in the ladies toilets, cafes and at other gatherings where the company is exclusively female are now often taking place on line. The magic of the interweb means that these conversations are now totally public and reaching more male ears than ever before.
Women don’t tend to adopt the vile tone that male commentators online but they do comment a lot and when you hear this vague disapproval incessantly and en masse, it gets you defensive and a touch aggravated. I think that it also can strongly effect the attitudes of girls/women who have only superficial contact with men.
Sue’s comment below particularly struck a chord with me – do you guys ever get concerned that if you set up a narrative where awful men’s awful acts are constantly highlighted, then you create an expectation that a young girl may as well settle for an awful man, because that’s all that’s out there?
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Your last comment is a concern I have for young girls. If all they hear or read on line is ‘how awful men are’ then it becomes accepted & they will put up with it because ‘that’s what all men are like’.
I can’t speak for all but the young boys, teens and young men I know are all pretty decent, caring guys. The guys from my teen years (90′s) were similar to todays lot with the only difference being they weren’t as much into fashion as the young guys are now. It used to be about band tshirts & now it’s head to toe grooming!
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Thanks for your thoughts, my thoughts. I’ve seen comments on here like ‘Up until a few years ago, I didn’t realise that men were capable of feelings’. That sort of stuff blows my mind.
I think that with single parent households on the increase, that there are probably a lot of girls who reach the age that they want to date men and have had no in-depth experience with any man. They’ve been online and read about these strange and dangerous ogres that they may need to keep around if they want jars opened.
I was a teen in the 80s and early 90s. My grooming is still haphazard. Perhaps contributing to the ogreish perception.
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I think both your comments are spot on.
Just as men weren’t aware of what women thought of them, I don’t think we women are aware of exactly what men think of them, but that too is changing thanks to the internet. Sometimes the more negative comments take you aback and make you think “is that what they really think of us behind the pleasant veneer?”.
I think it’s perfectly normal to get defensive on behalf of your gender, I know I do, unless of course a woman is acting/speaking unreasonably.
I think most single parents (mothers) try to get people the opposite gender involved with their child’s life, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen until school. I do wish that more parents would stay involved in their child’s life after a break up. Sadly the stats for long term involvement with children post breakup aren’t great.
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Thanks, Faybian. I always read your comments with interest, BTW.
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Same (thanks).
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That caricature of men isn’t a creation of the internet or single parent families (who have no contact with men?). It’s a gender stereotype that’s been around for a long time.
It actually sometimes sucks for women to spend their whole lives in a society that privileges men and boys over women and girls, which is probably why they complain. And it’s that society that tells them to value themselves based on their attractiveness to men and whether or not they’re in a relationship with a man. So if you are really concerned that women might “settle” for someone “awful”, try doing your bit to smash patriarchy rather than concern trolling (sorry, “getting defensive”,) about women expressing their dissatisfaction with the status quo.
And no, by the way, talking about shitty behaviour doesn’t teach acceptance, it inoculates against it by teaching you how to recognise it and preparing you to deal with it. It’s when the idea that “boys will be boys” is used to *condone* that behaviour that women are forced to accept it (or suffer the consequences).
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I started watching the series with my 20 & 17 Yr old, about 1/2 way through the first episode, my 20 Yr old son couldn’t watch it, and left the room (says something about either his character or the fact it was too embarrassing to watch with mum) but as he left he said “I can’t stand guys like that, or lowies like those girls” so he was unimpressed with both sides of this story. The 2nd ep showed the girl being raped alongside a group of peers, I was glad my daughter (17) was studying for exams and didn’t see it. From that point my hubby n I watched the series. It’s enjoyable and relatable for us, as we were from that era. I was more from that “surfy” scene and did unfortunately have the “cool” popular guy who treated me like crap, I did the run to the shop for. Hamburger (ashamed to say) on more than one occasion. Why? Because I was so grateful just to be in the click, and part of a group others were envious of. We dated for about 18 months (quite the record) and he cheated on me, no surprise there, but I was devastated….. I was put pf the group. My hubby came along after that, and looked pretty good, he actually opened car doors for me, paid for dinner? What was this. We have 4 kids together, and we hope and pray that our girls grow up with heaps of self esteem that they would never allow a guy to treat them thus way. And our boys grow up with so much respect for girls and women they would never go there. I think growing up in this era wa hard, but it’s made me very savvy, protective and fierce paren when it comes to raising (hopefully) responsible adults nowadays. Loving the series… Each week many more good memories are re visited than bad. It wa a great time, but w were just not emotionally equipped for the “relationship” part at all at 16 & 17.
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‘The 2nd ep showed the girl being raped alongside a group of peers,’
That was a powerful scene.
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I don’t think she was being raped. I think she was just going along with it, because she thought she should have sex whenever her boyfriend wanted it, inappropriate setting or not. I know he held her wrists, but it still didn’t come across as rape.
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Any woman / mum / girl could clearly see the expression on that poor girls face. It was pleading, searching. No one came to help, or perhaps were unaware or ignored it. She didn’t want it, didn’t consent, and it was against her will. The fact she wasn’t very demonstrative doesn’t change the fact it was Inappropriate, forced, and I believe she would not only regret that for years (not speaking up) but would be traumatized by it.
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As a woman/mum and being part of this scene, I could see that by her expression, she clearly didn’t want what was happening to happen. She was searching for som help, but others chose to either ignore, or were unaware. I believe this girl would have regrets in years to come, and may be traumatized by this as well. It was disturbing, to see that b being submissive and not demonstrative, you view it as she “didn’t object” but do you really think it was consensual? No way at all. That boy could certainly be charged with rape. No question. The girl prob wouldn’t have pressed any charges at the time, but it is what it was, forced sex against her will.
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Huh ? That wasn’t rape, it was a guy using his girlfriend as a sex toy. She could have walked away at any time. She chose not to, because she would have lost her entire social group for being a frigid B****. “charged with rape. No Question”. Ummm .. if you say so.
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This scene wasn’t meant to be rape, it was explained much better in the 1981 movie, if anyone has watched it. The three boys trick her into having sex with them but she really just wants to be a part of the group.
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You’ve kind of illustrated the point – girl doesn’t want to have sex: “you’re dropped”, ridiculed and outcast by peers; boy doesn’t want to have sex: zero consequences in terms of the group = massive imbalance of power. Does she want sex? no. Does she consent? no. Does that stop him from doing it anyway? no. That’s rape.
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It was what was known as a ‘gang bang’. They would have groomed her by telling her they liked her, then used her for sex.
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I think you are making a common error of assuming that all sexual assault / rape is stranger rape with a woman struggling and screaming. That is not the case. Actual definitions of what constitutes sexual assault are much much broader.
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I defy anyone to watch this movie and not be a proud feminist.
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i was a teenager in the 70s and I remember you were either considered a slut or frigid. Not everyone in their early /mid teens is ready for a “relationship” There are other things in life.
My mother always told me to keep my female friends as they will be around when the boy has moved on.
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I finished high school in 2005 and i am so glad that my high school experience was NOTHING like what Puberty Blues portrays.
I hear people say frequently that life was so much better “back then”, but was it really?
The sexism, the racism, treating women like they’re second class. It’s horrific.
As a teenager, the things that i was taught included standing up for what i believe in, that it was okay to say no, that smoking is stupid, binge drinking is stupid, drink driving is stupid. I was taught to not judge others, and treat everyone like i would want to be treated.
There is so much emphasis at school these days about anti bullying etc, it’s so good to see.
If the 70′s were anything like what was portrayed in Puberty Blues, i definitely think life is much better now.
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Watching Puberty Blues makes me so glad I was a nerd at school. I remember that I was called ‘frigid’ because I hadn’t kissed anyone at 13, and I agreed to ‘get with’ (pash) a guy at a blue light disco just so they’d stop calling me frigid. I hated the experience! I went and washed my mouth out immediately and hid from the guy for the rest of the night. Gross!!! Touching tongues…yuck at 13. Luckily I was scared enough and shy enough to just stay away from boys until I was old enough to know what I really wanted.
My hubby and I totally didn’t get why Debbie was called a moll for lying on the grass by herself… Can someone explain this to us please?????
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I was a bit confused by that one too. I think it’s almost like the Taliban don’t let women out alone because it suggests they are promiscuous. The idea that you could be single and talking to another single guy must mean that you’re trying to crack onto him?
Sheesh. Was this really just the 70s????
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I think she was called a moll, because that is what “Vicky said”. Maybe because Vicky was jealous…..even though she did just cheat on Garry with his mate.
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It wasn’t so much about laying out on the grass with Gary as being ‘wasted’ and laying out on the grass with him. From memory, in the book it was bad form for a girl to be not 100%sober unless she had a boyfriend because it made her easy prey for other guys. Debbie had been dropped by Bruce so would have been seen as fair game. Just another variation on blaming the victim if something had happened to her.
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Clearly, if you’re lying on the grass and it’s public knowledge that you’re not goin’ round with anyone, you are INVITING PASSERS BY TO ROOT YOU. Classic moll behaviour.
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LOL!!! Classic moll behaviour. This is hilarious.
Thanks Kate, Mia, Tiffany and Carz for clearing this up!
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I was a teenager in the 80′s & remember parties exactly like the one they had on PB last night. After a few sessions of getting pretty steamy with my boyfriend (both 16) I decided that the next party was when we were going to do “it”. So instead of the wonderful kissing/petting, etc lead-up (no Vaso would’ve been needed!) it ended up being his turn for the room, we both went in there & just did the deed. No foreplay, no kissing, nothing. Just pain & a massive feeling of being used. I can totally relate to Debbie’s experience. I’m so glad those days are over for me. It only took me too many years, but I finally got assertive.
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It’s the patriarchy. Where a bit closer to fully understanding and debunking it these days, but no where near where we need to be when it comes to gender relations and relationships. But I do think Sue’s boyfriend at least treats her like he likes her and is happy to have her around. Bruce is vile and I’m glad he “dropped” Debbie.
Gary’s mum’s my favourite, too; her acting is superb. I really feel for her character.
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I LOVE this show- its so funny and sad and …well, every emotion. And it’s me- and my life as a 70′s teenager. Yes, the boys were exactly like that and yes, we let them treat us like shit because the most important thing in life was to be ‘going’ round” with someone. I think little has changed in reality- maybe boys are a little more sensitive but sometimes I think that girls have as far to go as they ever had when it comes to a full and equal life
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Nothing has really changed. I went to an all-girls catholic school growing up and was one of the nerdier girls who did well at school but never got any attention from boys. The first time I started getting attention was about 3 years ago when I was about 21. When I hung out with the cool guys I found all they wanted was to get in my pants. There were times that I invited a guy back to my place for some harmless kissing and spooning but found myself doing more than I felt comfortable (even though I told them that I was a virgin and didn’t want to have sex). There was one guy that I had to physically push off me because he tried to hold me down and have sex. Despite this, I still let myself get into those situations because I just desperately wanted a boy to like me.
I’m lucky that I’m now with an amazing guy who waited until I was ready before going there but even he admits that he has dumped a girl because she wouldn’t have sex with him when he was younger. Boys will be boys. And sadly, a lot of girls like me will continue to just let them be like that.
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I was a teenager in the 80s and I think while the general attitude was similar, the “edges” had probably been softened somewhat. There was a lot of judgement towards girls, but I wonder if the only change is what girls (and boys) are being judged for.
While people didn’t “interfere” with other people’s lives (like affairs and DV) at least when you went home you could “switch off” and not worry about being bullied at home.
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This is what it was like (I was there – 16 in 1978) – but before we demonise the boys, look at their role models.
Gary’s philandering father justifies it by saying he needs ‘hot blood’, Vicki’s mum (the hairdresser) is having it off with a married footballer and Debbie’s dad is clearly looking elsewhere, romancing his assistant with lobster.
Respect for women was absent – so the boys are just modelling what they see.
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I agree – it’s not about demonising boys as a whole; it’s about recognising the system of patriarchy and how that’s contributed to by boys AND girls. It’s actually a good reminder that sometimes women are the ones policing these roles and attitudes.
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Last night I went to a talk by Steve Biddulph called Raising Girls. It was brilliant. And it frightened the life out of my husband and.
And then I came home and watched Puberty Blues and I’m really seriously worried about the teenage years for our girls. I feel an enormous amount of pressure to be a the kind of mum who makes sure our girls don’t get caught up in any of the scary stuff happening out there.
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Snap! I was at the Steve Biddulph talk too. Scared the hell out of me as well. Thinking of converting the cellar into some form of daughter prison.
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Ha! My husband says he is going to investigate Swiss boarding schools! Having just re-read my post above though, I am also now worried about the future grammar problems my kids might inherit! How I miss the ‘edit’ button!
Wasn’t Steve endearing to listen to though? He did make an impact on us.
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Hey Cordeline the edit button is still there. You have to wait a few seconds for the copy to appear, and it appears over the top of your post so it’s a little hard to see, but it works.
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Oh I could have written this myself. Funny thing is, the first two eps I found myself thinking “I am going to teach my daughter what sex is really about, Im going to teach my daughter that it’s cooler to say ‘No’ than to just lie there and take it, that boys aren’t everything blah blah blah’. But last night I sat there thinking “Im going to teach my son to respect girls, to be kind, to not see them as a warm hole and a free pie and dagwood dog, Im going to teach him what sex really is’. Maybe that’s where we need to start too?? I think my son is a sweetheart actually, just hope he stays that way when the hormones kick in *eeek*
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I think that is why I did not like the original movie. The boys were awful & I never understood why the girls would throw themselves at them. Was peer pressure really that bad? And what made these guys so special anyway?
Maybe it freaked me out, as I went to an all girls school in the late 80s for few years, and my friends would throw themselves at boys no matter what they were like. I never understood what my friends saw in these guys. You could see that they guys thought that they were on a winner too. Sometimes I felt I must have been unattractive, as I never had a boyfriend. But I, I never put myself out there, and looking back, I was so glad that I never lowered myself to hook up with any of these guys. Blah.
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I was a teenager in the late 1980s in country Victoria and things weren’t much different – same scenarios, different location! It wasn’t everyone though, it depended which group you hung out with at school. My husband had quite a sheltered upbringing and is horrified watching the show as he had no idea how things were and how sex could be so depersonalized. As a mother, I am quietly horrified having flashbacks of what my friends and I used to get up to!
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Am finding puberty blues cringe worthy as it is so much like my teen years in the country in the 70′s the boys took the girls to the river not the beach , I vividly remember a girl being gang banged in a panel van at the front of the movie theatre. I think today’s girls are more assertive – I hope so as I have a teenage daughter and would be devastated if she was treated like that .
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I haven’t watched the show but the promos are cringe-worthy in the sexist and user of girls attitude – something which still exists. I think we have to be careful, however, that we don’t only believe or promote the idea that all men and boys fall into this category of behaviour. The decent men and boys are not drawing the attention. I hope the trend of more and more men speaking out against sexism continues to grow in both number and volume, and I thank them.
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I read this book when I was a teenager in the early 80s and I didnt identify with the behaviour of the boys and girls at all. At the time I believed that this was a very extreme view of a specific subculture (bogan/surfies). It was certainly very far removed from my life. I was so happy at the end of the book with how Debbie and Sue turned out (I wont give it away). I hope the series takes it in the same direction.
I am LOVING the new series, and I am trying to bring back all those great words from that time…rooting, rooted, deadset moll, and my latest favourite from last night’s episode…the nooner.
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My mother has always said to me “Be vigilant about your rights as a woman (and a citizen), as they were hard-fought for and are so easily eroded and taken away.”
When I watch shows like Mad Men and Puberty Blues, where men are so casual about treating women like chattel, and where women themselves are often the ones policing these “rules” of behaviour that are so degrading; I really feel like it is a wake-up call that these rights and attitudes which my generation take for granted are so very very recent. I remember reading the fantastic historical fiction “Pillars of the Earth” by Ken Follett a few years ago and thinking to myself “Thank goodness I was born in the modern era!!” Being a woman for a very long time has had some very unpleasant side-effects. The fact that rape has only become a social and legal no-no in recent years is a big part of this.
When watching PB last night, I was shocked by the happy servility of the girls, by their willingness to cater to every whim the boys had, and disgusted by the tag team sex room at the party. My boyfriend was even more shocked, he could not believe that any girl, ever, would subject themselves to that kind of treatment. What a sweetheart!
However, we are not out of the woods yet! Whilst the rougher edges of interaction between teenagers may have been worn off over the years and the more blatant aspects of some of this behaviour are now seen as socially unacceptable, much of this sort of thing still exists, although in a different form.
I may not have sat on beaches with food clutched in my hands for boys to scarf down and the rudely walk off but I remember a lot of parties where girls with low self-esteem, a sexual drive that they didn’t really understand or know how to control, and with a fair bit of booze under their belts were dragged off to rooms and bushes, around the sides of houses to do things that they often didn’t really want to do. Sometimes they did, but more often than not, those “things” were regretted. Often they got themselves into positions where they had been enjoying themselves but suddenly it got way beyond their comfort zone but they felt it was too late to back out.
One guy was nicknamed “serial rapist” when we were in year 8 – jokingly. ha ha. This was 1996, not that long ago really! He had a habit of waiting until girls – who had more soberly rejected him – were too drunk to know what they were doing and then dragging them off and getting as much as he could out of them. Blow jobs, sex, whatever he could get. This happened to myself and a large number of my friends as well as huge numbers of girls from a number of other schools. One friend had her top ripped off by him, he said he wouldn’t give it back to her and would make her walk back to the party naked if she didn’t give him a blow job. What a charmer!
I remember my boyfriend from when I was 17 saying that he missed the old days of our early teens, when he got blow jobs at every party. I recall being called a lesbian because I didn’t want to hook up with an absolute arsehat of a male. I remember being humiliated because I had been caught in the bushes with someone at a party (serial rapist, yes it was him), and a horrible rumour was spread about me. About 5% of it was true, the rest made up, but that one haunted me for 3 years. I remember boys in my year writing on EVERY single desk in the exam hall that my friend was a slut, because one of them had a crush on her but hadn’t gotten anywhere. I recall girls who had sex early being called sluts and being laughed at, and other girls being called frigid and laughed at. You couldn’t win. I also vividly recall losing my virginity at 17 to my boyfriend at the time – I cried and repeatedly said no. That lovely piece of date-rape affected me and all of my relationships for years.
So many things are still the same.
However, I also knocked back several 17 year old boys who asked me out when I was 14, I (mostly) kissed who I chose, I was not judged for lying on a lawn by myself, discussion was much more open, and the casual acceptance of it all being about the boys did not exist. Boys were expected to reciprocate to some degree, and rumours spread about boys who were bad at “things” too.
All in all, I think things are better in this respect, but we still have a long way to go. Teaching teenage girls to respect themselves and to earn respect through good channels is important. Talking to them about the urges they are definitely having is important. Keeping tabs on your kids and supervising parties is definitely important. And teaching all teenagers, boys and girls, what constitutes sexual assault is so important.
I recently read about parties where 12 year olds sit around a table and the girls get underneath and the boys then guess who is giving them a blow job by their technique. It terrified me. There is still work to be done!
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Holy moley! I grew up in the seventies, and while I can identify with a lot of what’s going on in PB, my adolescence was very tame compared to your story. Is this still what’s happening in schools these days? Surely the 12 year olds doing blow jobs can’t be common!!!
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I think you’d be surprised at what goes on. I recall that there was a very pretty girl that I encountered when I was young, who was infamous for giving 14 different guys blow jobs in one night.
Everyone has a different experience, some people’s will be tamer, others, more extreme. The thing is, I have a lot of brilliant, fun memories of high school too. I had many many fun times, and, believe it or not, I was not a wild teenager. I was in the middle somewhere. I did very well at school, I did a million activities and played a lot of sport, I was a prefect and house captain. I never wagged, I was pretty obedient. I did go to parties and get drunk and fool round with boys, but unlike most of my peers, I didn’t try drugs beyond a bit of weed (saved that for my uni years…). So it’s not like I was some wild, out of control teen.
The stories above come from sitting down and thinking hard about what went on. When you start to pick out things that happened along these lines the overall picture is a bit terrifying but in actual fact the most terrifying thing is that so much of this was/is just accepted, and most people just forget that this kind of thing ever happened and remember the whole experience in a kind of nostalgic haze.
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Have things changed? YES – for the worst!
Just think the boys that will be “rooting” our girls have been able to access porn from the day they were born! This is the first generation that will have had their first sexual experience involving some form of media or technology.
Girls these days go to rainbow parties & sext their partners – they don’t need the pannel van.
We have a generation of girls who are taught the fundamentals of Feminism past & present & a generation of boys who have been left out! Where is the empowerment & liberation for the boys?
I beg my 12 year old to not have sex with the first boy who comes along. I beg her to renumber t she can say no & that she will be there in the morning but she can’t guarantee he will be. Trying to undo the conditioning of mass media & popular culture is hard & I feel sorry for them.
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My boy is 14, he isn’t into girls yet. Still can’t even talk to them. Not all young teens are that way inclined.
Might be next year, might not ever happen. But I can do my best and hope he listens to me and put the girl on the pedestal…
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as a teenager i have never heard of an actual rainbow party they have got to be myths! also not that many of us are stupid enough to sext… you are making massive generalisations
girls are much more assertive within relationships than depicted in puberty blues and are more likely to be slammed for having sex than not, just because the boys have had access to porn does not mean theres necessarily any more sex at all! in fact i’d say less!
i have no idea what you mean in “where is the empowerment and liberation for the boys?” sorry what liberation to they need in terms of sexuality??
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I agree Alex.
I’m 40 now and rainbow parties were supposedly happening when I was a teenager (and a wild teenager at that!) and yet I have never been to one or known anyone who has been to one.
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What is a rainbow party???
(I’m 22 and have no idea what that could even mean)
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a friend’s kids go to a co-ed catholic high school and they have been to (but not participated in) rainbow parties.
prepare to be grossed out.
think different coloured lipsticks worn by many girls, displayed on male anatomy.
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Thanks, I never would have guessed what a rainbow party was! Never heard of them till just now!
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I grew up in the 70′s and though the show dramatises events its pretty much spot on. Women were just finding themselves and girls certainly were not empowered in those days. Some of the things make me cringe remembering the goings on but other things just make me smile. It was a different time and I would hope that female/male relationships have changed alot since then.
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I am yet to see The Shire or Lara Bingle, or forget the Cronulla riots, but given PB is (was) IN this part of town, is there a different ‘normal’ there?
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pt, my husband is from the Shire, but he does not fit the stereotype. In the Shire, “normal” means that you’re a white-bread, cashed-up bogan who’s overly protective of your white, cashed-up neighbourhood. I call them hobbits for a reason, and not in a nice way.
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Yep lots of them are the same today. I think my gen (I’m 22) have reverted back to this culture. I had a conversation with about 6 guys the other week when they were saying its so easy to be a girl. I was like are you kidding! All any of us cares about is our weight and if guys find us attractive. We can be smart, interesting, funny, kind and it still means nothing if we are not attractive. The worst bit is we are doing it to ourselves! I was raised by a feminist mother who taught me not to give people who treat girls like that the time of day, but its hard when its everyone!
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It’s not everyone, stay true to our values and you will find a guy who respects you for you. It is worth it and you deserve it.
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Sue, that’s an unfortunate belief. I predict that you’ll meet someone that kills it.
Lots of guys find ‘smart, interesting, funny, kind’ very enticing. Some guys find it enticing right through life and for others, thinking otherwise will just be a phase.
True, some will never grow out of it, but I think, not the majority.
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Yep lots of them are the same today. I think my gen (I’m 22) have reverted back to this culture. I had a conversation with about 6 guys the other week when they were saying its so easy to be a girl. I was like are you kidding! All any of us cares about is our weight and if guys find us attractive. We can be smart, interesting, funny, kind and it still means nothing if we are not attractive. The worst bit is we are doing it to ourselves! I was raised by a feminist mother who taught me not to give people who treat girls like that the time of day, but its hard when its everyone!
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I think they are doing a reasonable job of recreating the movie. I especially love that Claudia has managed to give most of the cast of Spirited some more work !
Although this is sensationalised, I think we have come a looong way since the 70′s – the message is loud and clear, to see how far we have come. The girls learn the hard way, but they learn. Its this progression from those times that have us to where we are now, and I believe the tv series was a great reminder of our evolution.
Except .. I was disappointed they didnt use my favourite line..
“how do I look?”
“rootable”
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I think the producers were trying to do a lot more than recreate either the book or the movie. They have more time (8 episodes) and the benefit of 30 years to look back and think what it all meant. I’ve been using the word ‘root’ a lot over the last week.
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I’m also savouring the word mole
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I grew up in this era and I lived in a coastal town. PB is very authentic to the way young men treated young women in the 70s. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high among people of my age bracket??!!!
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There are definitely gen y boys out there like the dickheads from last night’s ep. I went out with a guy a few months ago who made me feel worthless and horrible. I was a virgin when I met him and I felt like he wanted to see what he could get away with, within a few days of knowing him I lost my virginity and we weren’t in a committed relationship. I was led to believe I was and that he cared about me. I didn’t mind being in a casual relationship at first but then I didn’t trust him because he was always hiding stuff from me. I found out he had never had a girlfriend (he is 26) just fucked around and I got it out of him that he had sex with some other girl. I felt mortified. He shrugged it off as “it was just a hook up” and saw no problem with it. And I think about a guy like that and if I didn’t have that experience I would have missed out on a big lesson. Sure I should have known better like Debbie and Sue, but I know to do a helleva lot better and if I have to be single for longer so be it. I’m not going to settle for less just because they happen to be around. Guys like that are forever losers, this guy lacked passion for life and was totally closed minded, where does that get you in life? Nowhere.
So yeah there are guys out there who just disrespect young women because they want to see what they can get away with. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex but when it’s something you definitely don’t agree on then they have cheated you.
And when you meet a guy who does respect women and truly wants to get to know you and enjoys your company. You feel so grateful. Even little things like a guy asking if it’s okay if he kisses you, I just think it’s so sweet and it’s the little kind gestures that are the best.
This show is a uncomfortable for me to watch at times. I was never in the cool group nor would I have sex with some guy to hang around them. Being desperate to get there seems weird, who cares really. Most of them in the real world after school finishes will be nobodies anyway by the sounds of it. It matters what you do after school not who you are while you’re at school.
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Yes that’s the whole point of the story… that the girls get over being so dependent on the boys and start doing for themselves. Awesome series
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I think it’s partly to do with what we expect as a story line and male antagonists and female protagonists are all the rage at the moment. The female viewing public prefers the male bad guy and the innocent female and being that the advertising dollar is firmly aimed at the female with the money in hand, get use to this as THE paradigm.
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I was a teenage boy in the ’70s, and extremely uncool.
I remember that looks and cool-ness were everything, personality was irrelevant; the old treat-em-mean-and-keep-em-keen mentality ruled, and nice guys were perceived as wimps.
However, once high-school finished, that all changed; cool-ness counted for absolutely nothing.
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So true! Great comment!!!! I love to pieces all the men who were the uncool boys. Had lunch with one today! My husband is one! These are the guys who didn’t fit in but have turned out to be the funny, clever, caring, interesting grown ups. You all rock!
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I think you have to put these things into a subcultural context. Surfie culture was for a long time (and maybe still is?) a mans domain and was notoriously misogynist. Like bikie culture, sport culture and so on. There are still guys like this around, and sadly girls who are happy to acquiesce as they are yet to learn their self esteem is not measured by the attention of men. But I think more young women are setting the bar far higher these days in terms of expectation about how they will be treated, and these situations occur less often.
I also think as girls have been given more social permission to achieve goals outside of relationships, men have been given more permission to not play the role of arsehole in order to ‘fit in’ with their peers. Overall I think boys and men, for the most part, are far more respectful now. I say this as someone who grew up in the 70′s.
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The saddest thing last night was when Sue and Debbie sort of turned on each other, albeit briefly. You can’t get through that sort of sh*t without your best girlfriend!
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I’ve never eaten a chiko roll but this show makes me want to try one. What’s the big fuss I wonder!
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Oh, please don’t!
Back then, they were a new thing, and very much like the Vietnamese or Thai spring rolls we get now – the fried ones. They had actual food in, prawns or chicken, and real vegetables, and were v. nice. And usually fresh(ish).
Or it could just have been that they were a novelty.
But – try one now, at your peril!
Mind you, some people still like them. You might be one …
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I actually saw a box of them in the freezer section of my supermarket, I was tempted for a second then I realised they wouldn’t taste the same as the ones we grew up with, the freshly made ones fried in two week old oil, then covered in chip salt.
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Dare I admit I love Chiko rolls..maybe that should be used to …haven’t had one for years..real beach food
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I was pretty mortified after last nights ep. I commented on here a few weeks ago saying I wish I was a teenager in the 70s – how wrong I was! Thank God for feminism! Probably more Germaine than God actually
Keep on destroying the joint ladies!
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I loved you comment Abbi, it appears Alan Jones wishes he was still living in the 70′s.
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The “vaso” scene was hilarious and cringeful all at the same time. Bruce was a pig, so no loss for her there.
I have three boys, two are teenagers. Boys have a lot more respect for girls these days and part of that is because maybe girls have a lot more respect for themselves.
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What about the seemingly nice boy Debbie dropped because he wasn’t cool enough? One thing that’s bugging me about the show is that it’s only showing the ‘cool’ guys. I know that’s how the original story is but they’ve expanded the parents roles substantially. Just think about how hellish it would have been for a guy who was a ‘nerd’ or was gay.
Look, most people will take advantage of others when the opportunity if offered up on a plate. Women do this as much as men, but in Puberty Blues it’s the girls who are willingly being doormats.
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I really hope boys are different today.
Some things that shocked me from last nights episode (will there ever be an episode that is not shocking?) :
When Cheryl threw that party at her house, I assumed her baby brother was at a babysitters. Until I saw him in his cot screaming. Poor baby.
Lying on the grass by yourself and wasted means you are a moll, according to Vicky?? The same Vicky who was rooting her boyfriends mate. That is ok?? Glad times have changed in that respect.
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I nearly cried when i saw the baby in the playpen .. I have a baby myself, becoming a mummy has softened some of my edges!!
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I’ve been wanting to watch this since it started, but it conflicts withe youngest’s bedtime and all our showers etc, so last night was the first chance i had. Anyway, i may be more sensitive since i’m pregnant, but seeing the baby brother crying in the playpen made me feel sick, really hard to watch. I even had a little pang for Debbie’s little bro getting the wooden spoon! Not sure now if all the teenage pressure scenes are going to sit well with me, if i keep watching or go back to the ones i missed…. Great show though, love the actors.
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What about the epidsode where Cheryl was supposed to be babysitting her baby brother and she left him in the house ALONE with just a bottle while she went out? She said “as long as I’m home before mum its ok”. Not cool.
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Are we all forgetting the boy who brought Debbie a splice (unasked) in episode one? Don’t forget they weren’t all dickheads…
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Yes! I forgot that. Splice is nice! And she dropped him because he was from the wrong beach. Moll
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I love
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*the way you write Kate and can’t wait for more of your Puberty Blues recaps. Splices aside I do agree that it has been disturbing… to me the worst thing of all so far was in the first ep at the club where the girl was being dragged away screaming by her boyfriend (I assume) and THEN Debbie and Sue said “moll”…gave me shivers!
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Thanks Lara, but unfortunately that’s the end of my Puberty Blues reviews! We can still chat about it though in Open Post and Best & Worst …
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Does that mean that there won’t be any more Puberty Blues posts? I’ve got to admit, I kinda liked coming here the day after and seeing if my thoughts were on the same wavelength as others, chatting to women from various generations about the similarities/differences etc…
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Also, I always dissect Puberty Blues of a Thursday am with Nick, master barista at the Java Lounge in Paddington, Bris.
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Your right, not all boys were like that in the 70′s. I was at school in the mid to late 70′s and the boys were definiteley not as vile as these boys…maybe it was the more prevalent in the surf/beach culture?
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I must admit I felt a bit flat after last night’s episode, mostly because of everything you have just summed up in this post Kate. I’m enjoying the show because I grew up in the 70′s and 80′s and find it very relatable. I recall the guys in our “gang” were alot nicer to us but it’s the parent’s relationships that I find more depressing. I never knew it at the time (found out years later) that my dad had a series of affairs and so seeing how this is playing out in the TV series is a bit thought provoking.
Did have a giggle at the “do you have any vaso” though.
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Peer Pressure. The effort to be with the boys comes from other girls that Debbie and Sue wanted to emulate.
I’d be very surprised if THAT situation has changed at all over the years. As girls, we tell other girls what they should be, and together we have far more influence than boys.
That’s the hidden story, in my view.
As for the boys depicted on last night’s show, they are the product of their times. The Pill had only been around for ten years, second wave feminism less than that. Attitudinal shift takes time in the suburbs. It really does.
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Vive le grand discernement.
I’d like to add, pls don’t suspend your disbelief to the extent that you forget that this is a slightly sensationalised TV show.
I’m not watching the show, but I’m really looking forward to see if they include the chiko roll line, which is somehting like:
‘Go get me a chiko roll…and don’t take a bite, ya moll.’ I’ve used that one to great effect on girlfriends down through the years…as a joke.
You have to be bloody careful on tone and timing of delivery though. Or forswear sex (and cordial conversation, for that matter) for the rest of the week.
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I completely agree, it does make you rather anti-men when you see it.
My parents were teens of the Seventies so they naturally love watching PB. However both have expressed feeling really uneasy and sad remembering when things were like that, and have said they feel grateful it dind’t have to be like that for my sister and I.
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I keep thinking those teenage boys are now men in their 50′s, maybe they have teenage daughters of their own. I wonder if they do any self examination of how they behaved? I imagine they have changed, the world has changed around them so how could they not have changed. Although I am sure many of them are still bastards longing for the old days.
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Yeah the men are shit on the show BUT what about Gary’s ‘girlfriend’?? She’s just as bad.
I love Gary, wanna give him a big squishy hug
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I loved it when she said ‘BULLSHIT!’ in front of Garry’s be-cardiganed mum.
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Aaah I loved that bit too Kate! The look on Gary’s Mums face …
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I think “be-cardiganed” is my new favourite word
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