It was a lazy, sunny Sunday morning. My kids and I were out walking with our dog when we saw him. A man leaning out the window of his car, yelling at a female driver over a parking space.
Everything about him was aggressive – his body language, his tone, his choice of words. Intimidatingly so. It was his spot, he yelled. “Move on, woman. You have no right to be there. Move on.”
In the moment, I reflected with my kids about how disrespectfully he was treating this driver. There were plenty of car spaces, and I told them that in no way was it ever OK for a man to speak to a woman like that. Or to anyone, for that matter.
I saw this same man in the dog park shortly thereafter, so I asked the kids to go on ahead to the seats. I’d catch up, I said. And then I walked over to him.
I’m now reflecting on the reason I made that split-second decision.
Mia Freedman on #MeToo: “The act of doing something publicly does make a difference”. (Post continues below.)
I suppose I hoped that if I shone a light on his behaviour, peacefully and in a public place (though not publicly), that he may listen and reflect. Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves, in our own lives, that it’s only upon reflection that we realise the impact we have on other people.
And so I approached him, gently. I told him I had witnessed what occurred in the car park, as had my children. And I pointed out that his treatment of the other driver had been disrespectful and unnecessary.
Within moments he became enraged. He screamed at me so loudly that all the other dog owners could hear. “How dare” I butt in.
I responded peacefully and attempted to calm him down, but he wouldn’t listen. He continued to berate me. So caught up in being ‘right’ about his claim to the parking space, he couldn’t take in what I was saying.
Top Comments
Confronting an unknown car park rager, who was not even raging at you - then two minutes later you are facing the rager with your domestic violence situation is a bit weird.
To be honest, both of these personality types are the ones I would avoid.
To be honest, in this situation, I think a better approach would be to offer empathy to the woman he shouted at.
Unless there was some physical violence that you are strong enough to have prevented or stopped, confronting an aggressive person is not a great option. He could have turned violent or have been crazy or have been high on meth. Sometimes we also must teach our kids to let things go and that some people are just loud mouthed idiots that need to be ignored.
Agree that the writer should have restricted the lesson for her children to the conversation they had in the car, rather than trying to make a grand learning gesture by confronting a stranger and trying to school him. I'm actually surprised she was so surprised he mouthed off at her.