Content note: This post deals with miscarriage and other themes that may be triggering to readers.
As I write this, Beyoncé and Zoë Foster Blake have announced their pregnancies in the most beautiful and hilarious way (simultaneously).
While I feel extremely happy for them, I can’t help feeling pangs of jealousy.
My husband and I first started trying to conceive on our honeymoon in Italy 18 months ago, how romantic! We assumed, as I am sure 99 per cent of the population does, that we would fall pregnant as soon as we stopped using contraception. I was that person who thought that I would stop using anything and wham, bam, thank you ma’am; I’m up the duff!
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Thank you for sharing your story. I had a miscarriage last year, and found out at 8 weeks when I realised that I hadn't had any symptoms for a week and went in for a scan and was told that the baby had stopped growing at 5 weeks. It's tough because you feel an incredibly loss for the baby you've somehow grown attached to, but then you also feel silly for feeling so attached to that baby that you've only known for a few weeks. And you're right, no one tells you how painful the actual miscarriage is, or how awful you feel when people around you talk about their pregnancy or ask you when you're going to start trying. I wish you and your partner all the best.
Yes, yes to all of this, yes. Sending much love to you x
Rachael thank you so much for sharing this with such frank honesty.
I can't believe nothing has changed in 30 years. My story, when I was also 28 yo - nearly 30 years ago, was the very same story. I still remember one very ill informed GP telling me to stop worrying, go on a holiday and I'd get pregnant. I was only over reacting wanting further investigations. It was belittling, and 30 years on I still remember it. Like you, I had that gut feeling that something wasn't quite right and like you, felt so alone when I miscarried. Believe me, there is absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent it.My best advice with the journey, whichever way it unfolds, is to remember you have done everything right, for you. XX