A man's first date texts has sparked a fierce debate about an age-old dating question.

If you’re a seasoned dater, you’ll know it’s common practice to split the bill on a first date.

Granted, I have been on dates where the other person has INSISTED on paying, after a back-and-forth battle involving me attempting to thrust my card at the waiter. On other occasions I’ve offered to foot the bill myself, especially if I’ve asked them out and chosen the restaurant.

But I usually head out on a date expecting to split the bill at dinner, or go round-for-round at drinks. It’s just… what you do.

Surprisingly, not everyone seems to agree with this concept of, you know, equality – as one man recently found out.

Sharing his story on Reddit, the man posted screenshots of an argument he’d had with a woman he’d been to dinner with.

In all honesty, neither came out of it looking… great, and posting her texts on Reddit was rather petty, but the ugly argument prompted an interesting conversation surrounding first-date etiquette and the oh-so-outdated notion that men should always pay.

It all started with the original poster asking if the woman was up for a second date, to which she responded with hostility, proceeding to call him “rude” for not paying for her dinner.

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…A dinner where she’d ordered lobster and wine that came to $176 (€110 euros), while he paid $28 (€17.50) for a carbonara and beer.


Look, we’re all for treating yourself, but expecting your date to pay for your decadent seafood dinner? Hmm.

The man hit back: “You invited me. You are lucky you didn’t pay for my food too,” adding that he was “a student not your sugar daddy”.


She responded: “I’m never going out with you ever again, if you can’t pay for a girl’s food then why accept the invite.

“Gentlemen ALWAYS pay for girls’ food.”

In… what… year?

The ensuing texts turned spiteful, with the man claiming the woman had spoken about another guy throughout the entirety of the date, to which she responded: “All you wanted anyway is to have sex with me. Anyway, bye loser.”


Reddit users, as they so often do, had a lot to say about the heated exchange.

One person commented: “If someone invites me out then I go because I want to see that person and would never expect a free meal. That would be selfish and entitled.”

"I’m a girl and I always go into the mindset that I pay for my drinks/food with anyone. Guy or girl, and if they offer to pay I’ll let them but offer to pay theirs next time we go out. Even when I was single I never assumed a guy would pay for me dating or not," another said.

Someone offered an interesting take on the debate:

"The one who invites another pays for the meal. Doesn't matter if it's a man or woman or whoever. If I invite you, I pay. Isn't this like common sense?"

And this poster added:

"It wasn't until I moved to Spain that I realised this was a thing and actually I had to be careful if I invited someone to go for a meal or something. One of the meanings of "invitar" in Spanish actually is 'to pay someone else's consumption'. So I have started to invite people without using the actual word."


Others had a pretty casual approach to it all, in the interest of avoiding all awkwardness and potential text-fights. Because no one wants that, right?

"Most times I split if it's a more expensive bill or we do like 'one pays now, the other pays in the next bar or next time'," one said.

"This is why I make first dates at a low key bar. I am comfortable paying for myself, but if my date insists to pay, hell yeah, why not? Takes a bit of pressure off that whole situation. That way, you’re not stuck paying $$ for a shitty date. I’m a girl by the way," added another.

What's your take on the whole situation? Let us know in the comments below.