By now you've probably seen the headlines: Taylor Frankie Paul, star of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives was all set to be the next Bachelorette when a 2023 video surfaced of her allegedly attacking her ex-boyfriend Dakota Mortensen with her daughter present.

"In light of the newly released video that just surfaced today" a spokesperson for Disney Entertainment Television said. "We have made the decision to not move forward with the new season of The Bachelorette at this time, and our focus is on supporting the family."

Forgive me, but it's a little ironic to hear from a show — which normalised a group of women all sleeping with one man in the hopes of securing his affections (or a bit of fame) — suddenly promoting good family values.

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Make no mistake – what Paul allegedly did was abhorrent. As reality stars love to say, "there's no excuse" and there isn't, especially when a child is believed to be involved. But did Disney pull the show out of respect and support of Paul's family, or because it's bad for business?

Paul and Mortensen, with whom she shares a son, have each released statements, each loaded with allegations of abuse in their relationship. But anyone who has watched The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives would know that their union has not been functional for a long time.

Paul's criminal conviction and mental health issues have previously been branded as "messy", with her tumultuous relationship a key plotline in the series. In fact, SLOMW's debut episode in 2024 began with policy bodycam footage in the aftermath of the 2023 domestic violence incident that led to The Bachelorette cancellation.

Devin Strader, the guy who came close to winning The Bachelorette in 2024, had a restraining order filed against him by an ex-girlfriend and had been arrested for burglarising her home years before. But it didn't stop ABC from casting him.

The fact is, when men commit acts of violence, it's viewed through a different lens. We are, at this moment in history, dealing with serious accusations of child abuse against a cohort of ultra wealthy and powerful men — men who, with the exception of Prince Andrew, are yet to face any real life consequences. 

Last month, actor Shia LaBeouf was arrested for verbally and physically assaulting two men in New Orleans. But the judge presiding over his case allowed him to travel to Rome, purportedly to attend his father's baptism.

Last night, LaBeouf was filmed screaming at a woman in a restaurant in Rome. The comments on the video are deeply sympathetic, "He needs prayers", "Oh, poor dude needs to get sober again" and "I feel for the guy."

The message is clear: when a man is violent, he's allowed the benefit of the doubt and a second chance. When a woman is violent, she's branded "messy" until advertisers find out, and a show gets pulled.

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Nobody should be able to escape the real consequences of violence, whether they stem from mental health issues, addiction issues or plain old misogynistic entitlement.

But it's interesting that time and again we seem to see women sacrificed on the altar of morality, while men get to carry on, until memories fade and they can pick up more or less where they left off.

Feature image: Disney.