Have you ever tried a new product that is just SO DAMN GOOD you simply have to tell everyone about it?
Because that’s me. Me right now.
I’ve only been using this thing for seven days (who’s counting?) but where has it been all my life!? I’m not even kidding when I say that every single day I’ve applied it, people have stopped me in the streets to ask what’s on my skin.
Apparently, I’m that aglow!
Watch: Three steps to glowing skin with Leigh Campbell. Post continues below.
This, my friends, is a game changer! A cutting edge beauty tool, utilising pioneering technology resulting in immediate and impressive results. It literally has me screaming with excitement (sorry neighbours!) and I guarantee you heard it here first...
Introducing the Satisfyer Pro 2: a sleek rose gold massager which creates a vacuum against the skin, then uses a combination of intense pressure waves and tingling pulsation to stimulate the surface. It’s a fraction of the cost of many top of the line vibrating facial massagers at only $60 including shipping. Plus, it’s rechargeable, fully submersible... and the first day I used it I climaxed EIGHT. TIMES.
YES. You did read that correctly.
Now lemme come at you with a bit of context. Somewhere, somehow, in the vast wastelands of the internet I came across a review for this thing where the author claimed it was THIS same sucker that revealed to her she could squirt. Make no mistake - this wasn’t what sold it.
As much as I love clean bedsheets, I bloody hate changing them. But it certainly piqued my curiosity, and between you and me I was getting to the point where I was about to wrap my p***y up in tinfoil and pop it in the fridge, since nobody was eating it.
So I ordered one! It would have been rude not to. Then immediately cursed myself for not forking out for express shipping when I realised it wouldn’t arrive in time for the weekend. Still. It was something to look forward to for next week. Patience my love, patience...