Two photos of women's bodies went viral this week for quite different reasons.
The first photo was a caption-less image of supermodel and mother of three, Ashley Graham's hands clutching her tummy rolls.
Thirty-five-year-old Graham, who is known in the media as a 'plus size' model, has three young children and only birthed her twin boys just over a year ago.
The close to 7,000 comments under the image of Graham's soft tummy were mostly congratulatory.
There were hundreds of heart and fire emojis, and comments like, 'I wish I saw posts like this when I was younger', or 'why did this make me burst into tears?'
The predominant sentiment amongst the comments was one of gratitude. Proving that women still appreciate high-profile celebrities who share 'real' and unfiltered images of themselves.
Supportive comments aside, this photo is highly relatable; not only for mums of twins, or mums of singles, but to most women.
Why? Because having a tummy and some measure of tummy fat is completely normal.
Most of the women who scroll past Graham's photo and thank her for sharing her truth, could literally cast their eyes down and take a version of the same photo.
I am a straight-sized relatively small woman in my forties, and after two kids I could easily unzip my jeans and grab two hands' worth of tummy rolls. I didn't just give birth to twins, in fact my youngest is nearly six; but not having washboard abs is my normal, and it is likely your normal too.
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For decades we have been conditioned by photoshopped images of skinny models in magazines or on catwalks, and now on social media to accept unrealistic body standards.
So that even now in 2023, an image of a celebrity woman's tummy rolls, goes viral.
Because in a sea of widely celebrated images of Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman or Jennifer Aniston's ageless, toned bodies; we are still without many role models over 30 who successfully walk the line of being an aspirational celebrity who also looks 'normal'.
Which is - as pointed out this week - 'rather depressing'.
It's depressing because women have for too long been conditioned to find our normal bodies 'disgusting' or 'abnormal'.
It's depressing because here we are, yet again dissecting a woman's lovely, NORMAL body as if it is news.
It's depressing because it's 2023. A year that coincidentally also saw Taryn Brumfitt, the queen of Australia's body positive movement made Australian of the Year.
Seeing high-profile, beautiful Graham grab her tummy fat (and look damn hot in the process) is still unusual and edgy. And therefore it goes viral. But for the wrong reasons. Photos of women's very normal tummies shouldn't still be going viral, but apparently they are.
And yet it seems we must continue to praise and bring attention to high-profile women like Graham for sharing her normal stomach, because of the treatment online of women like Karina Irby.
The Australian model and influencer from the Gold Coast shared an image this week of her body covered with screenshots to show a sample of the hateful messages and death threats she receives, also for sharing unfiltered images of her body.
After taking a five-day break from her socials she returned to confront and 'out' the trolls with this post.
"My life on the internet," she posted. "Sometimes you just need a little breather.
"I haven’t posted in five days because sometimes I feel like… What’s the point?
"People tell me to kill myself,' she added.
"Call me names. Discourage my work. Call out my skin conditions.
"People literally end their lives over comments like this.
"We all need to be better. Better at not listening. And better to never speaking to others like this."
Her post made the news which is also depressing because yet again a woman's NORMAL body was making headlines, but this time because of vitriol from online trolls.
These comments weren't telling Irby she was amazing for showing off her beautiful yet very normal body, rather it was the exact opposite.
People were apparently 'disgusted' by Irby, her cellulite, her 'real' body and her audacity to present it to the world without a filter.
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So what to do? Where does this leave us?
It seems Taryn Brumfitt's work to help women and kids embrace their bodies is not yet done. And nor is ours.
Both viral photos were of two young women, who are incredibly beautiful. But how they present themselves online without a filter, either makes many people feel grateful or horrified; proving we have a long way to go with the dialogue around women's bodies.
Will there ever be a day when a woman's normal body isn't dissected and commented on for being either 'brave' or 'disgusting'?
I hope so.
And in the meantime we need to support both Brumfitt, Graham, Irby and anyone who continues to break down attitudes towards the ridiculous and unrealistic body standards we have for too long been conditioned to accept.
The new normal is embracing our normality.
And I am so ready for it.
Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.
Feature Image: Canva/Instagram @ashleygraham /@karinairby
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