Did you know Queen Mary was in Australia this week? Her Royal Highness was in her home city of Hobart on Thursday with her husband, King Frederik of Denmark. It's part of an Australian tour they've been on and the first time they've been back in Tasmania since 2005.

People have turned out to see them, of course, but it's nothing like the breathless frenzy whipped up by, say, Harry and Meghan in 2018. But, if we rewind a few years, and remember when Mary met Frederik, who was then Prince of Denmark, at the Slip Inn during the 2000 Sydney Olympics, they did have an "H and M" aura around them.

The idea that an ordinary Aussie could capture the heart of a handsome European Prince had a kind of Anne Hathaway vibe about it. It was the stuff of fairytales and at the same time, totally Australian. They met in a pub! During the Olympics! The media went nuts! So did we! Remember that Vogue cover? STUNNING.

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We followed their long-distance relationship and there was wall-to-wall coverage of their wedding in 2004. But in 2026? Well, Our Mary, now 54 with four kids, is hardly front page news.

There's an argument to be made here about ageism. Mary might be Queen, and she is, of course, extremely polished with exceptional fashion sense, but she's not a young queen. It's not fair, but in this attention economy, a shiny, young thing gets more likes, clicks and, well, press coverage than a 50-something woman quietly touring Australia to raise awareness about sustainable development.

But is that all of it? Really? Because Nicole Kidman is 58 and you know the second that plane touches down at Sydney Airport that she's here. Or take Jamie Lee Curtis, who is 67 and yet, we can't get enough of her. She has opinions about not going out of her house after 7pm, a very stereotypical "old lady" thing to say, and we lapped it up.

The other reason might be that Mary is a Danish royal, so there's not the same level of mystique and therefore intrigue. Though Prince Charles didn't exactly have to fight through crowds when he toured with Queen Camilla in 2024, either.

I know, we love Mary! But can you remember the last time she said anything that made you think? Have you ever found yourself out at dinner quoting her? You know, "This reminds me of something super interesting Mary, Queen of Denmark, said in an interview once."

Now, you may not have quoted Princess Catherine either, but Kate, for better or for worse, is a gossip magnet. So, is it gossip then that we require from our Aussie Queen? Because Mary's husband, Frederik, weathered allegations of cheating with Mexican socialite Genoveva Casanova in 2023, which he strenuously denied. And yet, it seemed to barely register in Australia.

I think we have to sit with an uncomfortable truth here. Mary is polished and lovely and stately and sweet but she's also… a bit of a blandy. It pains me to say this, but Mary gives Prefect energy. Not Alpha enough to be Captain, not glamorous enough to be prom queen, just a person who dutifully did their homework in the library at lunch, got married in 2004 and moved to somewhere in Europe. If she was your Instagram friend, you would scroll past, maybe wish her Happy Birthday on her 40th and then forget her kids' names.

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I'm not saying she needs to pull a Lily Allen. She's certainly nowhere near as controversial as Meghan and that's probably a blessing. But, if we are wondering why she's not the leading story on every news outlet, it's because there's just not a lot of interest there. And before you tell me she doesn't owe us anything… well, the only point of a Danish Royal these days is to act as a ceremonial figure and generate public interest.

The fact is, we like our public figures the way we like our primers: grippy. And if we're being super real here, there's not a lot of grip to Mary. But maybe that's for the best. The lack of media scrutiny is probably just the way Mary likes it.

Feature image: Getty.