real life

Maxinne decided to cover herself in period blood and we have just 4 questions.

Look. We’ve all been there.

One minute you’re having a “very productive and super fun day,” folding the washing and what not, and suddenly – overwhelmed by a flood of emotion – you grab a few handfuls of your period blood and rub it all over your body and face and take a photo to put on the Instagram.

I call that the average Tuesday.
I call that the average Tuesday.

Four days ago, a Swedish influencer named Maxinne Bjork, who describes herself as a naturist yogi who also enjoys photography and performing coffee enemas on herself, decided to do just that.

Her caption read: "Today after a very productive and super fun day, I came home all emotional with lots on my minds [sic] that I just pushed a side [sic] cause [sic] I didn't have space to deal with it in the moment. I sat down and did some deep breathing, and all of a sudden felt a strong urge to cover myself in my life-giving fluids as a woman. So without really thinking of why or anything else, I just did. Smudged it out all over my body and then rolled around naked on the grass in my garden all covered in my menstrual blood. Smelled the earth and started crying intensely. Both from happiness and sadness. After some crying I started laughing instead. I’m so happy to have my mum in my life, we both help each other to get through some rollercoasters..."

ADVERTISEMENT

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Today after a very productive and super fun day, I just came home all emotional with lots on my minds that I just pushed a side cause I didn't have space to deal with it in the moment. I sat down and did some deep breathing, and all of a sudden felt a strong urge to cover myself in my life-giving fluids as a woman. So without really thinking of why or anything else, I just did. Smudged it out all over my body and then rolled around naked on the grass in my garden all covered in my menstrual blood. Smelled the earth and started crying intensely. Both from happiness and sadness. After some crying I started laughing instead. I’m so happy to have my mum in my life, we both help each other to get through some rollercoasters. The family situation we are in right now is just very draining. But thats life. And exactly how it is suppose to be in this moment. Accept and love ❤

A post shared by Maxinne Björk (@maxinnebjork) on

The post continued to explore Maxinne's relationship with her mum which we like very much but seems somewhat unrelated to the period blood situation.

Now - all power to her. If a woman wants to cover herself in menstrual blood and roll around in her garden while crying with laughter then I see no problem with it.

Except... ants. I worry about the ants.

But apart from the ants, Maxinne might be making a valid point about our relationship with period blood. As bizarre as it is to cover oneself in menstrual blood as though it's a very nourishing moisturiser, so too is our complete aversion to the substance at all. It's equally as weird to be pathologically revolted by something our body naturally produces, that indicates our bits are working just as they should.

With that said we have some... questions.

  1. Is that really period blood?

I DON'T BUY IT.

It looks very wet and very red which, I don't know, might be how some women's period blood looks but it's suspicious to me. 

It's very drippy, almost like it's FAKE BLOOD bought in the lead up to Halloween.

ADVERTISEMENT

Furthermore, where did she get so much? I could perhaps understand if she had worn a menstrual cup for hours and then poured it on her face, but that's not how she retells the series of events. 

She says: "So without really thinking of why or anything else, I just did."

If I was bleeding that much all at once I'd be a) in excruciating pain or b) unconscious.

    2. Did you wash your hands after collecting your blood or is it now all over your phone?

Maxinne is taking a selfie, obviously, holding the camera with her right hand.

Video by Mamamia

In order to have collected that much blood from ones nether regions, you'd have some pretty sticky hands I'd imagine.

SO - is Maxinne's iPhone 6 now covered in menstrual blood? Is her thumb a lil' bit stuck to the screen where she pressed the big round button?

    3. What about the neighbours?

From what we understand, Maxinne was overcome by some emotions, and so poured blood on herself before going into her backyard to roll around while laughing maniacally.

Did the neighbours... hear? And if so did they... peep over the fence to see what was going down?

Would you... say something?

Because if I saw a naked woman covered in blood rolling around having a good old laugh I would call the police immediately. It would look like a murder scene. 

Did she peep her head over and go: "Nah I'm all good! Just covered in period so I cried and then laughed. I just really love my mum."

Which brings us to...

   4. What's this all got to do with your... mum?

Look. Maxinne's introduction of the mum theme isn't entirely... coherent.

She's happy to have her mum in her life, which is again, good for her, it just doesn't seem at all related to the image of her bloodied face and boobies.

We feel like it might have been an afterthought.

Anywho, good on Maxinne.

Her life-giving blood definitely attracted a few more Instagram followers, and I'm sure we can all agree, that's precisely what (heavy) periods are for.

FROM OUR NETWORK
00:00 / ???