After their unborn baby was diagnosed with Trisomy 21 (the most common form of Down Syndrome), YouTuber Jesse Ridgway and his wife Ashley made two "very difficult" decisions.

The first was to end their pregnancy. The second was to tell the world.

Quickly, the online discourse morphed into a heated moral debate about disability, abortion, and why we keep some choices private.

Now, speaking to Mamamia, Jesse has addressed the "devastating" decision, their reasons for going public, and the intense backlash that followed.

Watch: On No Filter, Chloe Fisher shares her devastating story of pregnancy loss. Post continues after video.

0 0

She Lost Five Babies. Now Chloe Fisher Is a Mum and Pregnant Again. |No Filter

On June 4th, YouTuber Jesse Ridgway shared a lengthy statement revealing that he and his wife, Ashley, "made the very difficult decision" to terminate their pregnancy.

The procedure came after their unborn baby was diagnosed with Trisomy 21 (the most common form of Down Syndrome).

Trisomy 21 refers to chromosome number 21. Most people are born with 23 pairs of chromosomes (46 in total), whereas people with Down Syndrome have an extra 21st chromosome (and 47 chromosomes in total), as per Down Syndrome Australia.

In the statement, shared to social media, Jesse said the "choice was not made lightly" and had been "extremely traumatic" for the couple.

"When I first confronted this news, I was shocked but optimistic," the 33-year-old wrote.

"I signed on to be a parent, come what may… but I just didn't fully understand what Down Syndrome entailed."

After more research, including speaking to doctors and genetic counsellors, Jesse said he better understood the "risks."

According to the Mayo Clinic, Trisomy 21 can cause a wide range of developmental, physical, and mental health challenges. These can include intellectual disabilities, congenital heart defects, and hearing or vision complications.

Speaking to Mamamia, Jesse described the diagnosis as "one of the hardest and most complex situations."

"You need to weigh out the probabilities of your child being completely co-dependent for the rest of their lives. Be prepared for you to outlive your child. Be prepared for a possible miscarriage, heart surgeries and numerous medical appointments on a monthly basis, which are very expensive."

"You really need to imagine every possible scenario in the near future and distant future, whether you decide to keep it or terminate," he said.

"Only you can make the best decision for yourself, no one else."

In his research, Jesse said he found that 90 per cent of women terminate their pregnancy following a Trisomy 21 diagnosis.

A 2024 ABC report notes that while the termination rate sits around 90 per cent in Australia and the UK, the estimated rate in the US is between 67 and 85 per cent.

"This was WAY higher than I expected," Jesse wrote on social media. "I thought it would be lower given that I hear so many say they kept or would keep the baby."

The YouTuber, who has over four million followers across his social platforms, described the lead-up to the termination as "emotionally harder" than the procedure itself, which occurred early last week.

"Ashley was sedated, and it was done within 30 minutes. She's already almost fully recovered a week later," he told Mamamia, commending his wife for her "strength and courage."

"I've been in awe watching her ride the waves of pregnancy, having to say goodbye and then dealing with online hate. She is a trooper."

Certainly, the online hate was swift after Jesse shared his initial statement. While some showed their support for the couple, others strongly criticised the decision.

Jesse addressed the backlash in a follow-up statement a day later, describing the hate as "deeply disturbing."

"I've never seen such hate and vitriol for two people grieving the loss of their unborn child and making an impossible decision," he wrote, adding that he had been receiving "non-stop death threats."

"If you ever wanted to marvel at the depravity of people online, just check the replies on my latest tweet. It's a sh*t-show of epic proportions. This is reflective of the current world and landscape we're all living in."

But among those criticising the couple for choosing to end their pregnancy, there was another conversation bubbling under the surface.

One that soon became the focus: how many other people had made the same decision as Jesse and Ashley, but simply never spoken about it publicly?

Jesse and Ashley made the "very difficult decision" to end their pregnancy. Image: Instagram/@mcjuggernuggets

It is for this reason Jesse believes his story gained traction, "because nobody talks about it."

"I believe most terminations happen privately," he said in his statement. "I can't blame people for not talking about these vulnerable experiences publicly because you see the disgusting backlash that ensues. It feels shameful. A lot of judgment being cast."

In Jesse's case, he told Mamamia he was always going to be open with his fans.

"I've been sharing my life for nearly 20 years online, and we've built a strong, intimate relationship with our audience," he said.

"We were excited to share our journey in becoming first-time parents, but unfortunately were met with the devastating news."

The couple also felt it "prudent" to share their "raw experience" to "shine a light on others going through similar situations."

Already, Jesse and Ashley have received many messages from people who've said they are too afraid to share their termination story with others.

"To all the women and couples who have had to terminate their pregnancy due to varying health reasons or difficult circumstances, our hearts go out to you," Jesse told Mamamia.

"After experiencing it ourselves, I have a newfound empathy for this situation. Just know you made the best decision you could have given the information provided, and it was only you who could make that. We're all just trying to do what's best for ourselves and our families."

As the dust settles, Jesse hopes their story "inspires people to feel comfortable making an uncomfortable choice if you believe it's what's right."

"I also hope that it encourages people to share their own experiences so we can further de-stigmatise this conversation and move towards better advocacy and support for women, couples and prospective parents. It should not be done in fear and silence."

Importantly, the 33-year-old doesn't want the backlash aimed at him and Ashley to scare people, telling Mamamia he doesn't regret his choice to go public.

"We actually feel proud and vindicated to be sharing our truth and meaningfully contributing to an under-discussed, important topic of our world."

If you or anyone you know would like to speak with an expert, please contact the SANDS Australia 24-Hour Support Line (1300 072 637).

Feature Image: Instagram/@mcjuggernuggets